William-h-bonney's Blog
Bonney has a gf, Bonney sarges regardless,Bonney does not feel bad about this,Bonney is aware that it is socially unexceptable to cheat,Bonney does not care,Bonney might walk into a church and burst into flames,Bonney is not religious,what you think of Bonney is erelevent,bonney has no emotional connection to any girl except his gf,tho Bonney loves woman as whole.
Ok now we have cleared that up onto the blog entry.
Last night I went out with my boys. My chick was out with her friends and we are on the same strip of bars. Obviously i go to nightclubs with my chic ocationally but tonight we was not out together we were just in the same place,I could not Sarge I had to be a good boy and just drink beer and dance in case I was spotted creeping from a distance.
Through the night I was seeing girls that I would be creeping on if this was a normal night.... It was hell. I was a chode again, I found myself standing at the bar in full spectator mode. Brought back memories painfull memories of intense wanting,fear,confusion,frustration.A very valuable experience, I have made that identity level change that Tyler talked about it was not me anymore,I have transformed..I am not a spectator I am a player.
I had conversations with guys that I have not had for years,they were chide conversations these guys have no idea who they are, it's not even funny it's sad that guys are living like this,there view of the world is false there Are in the grips of social conditioning.
My friends were laughting at my as my chic came over to say "hi" then she would walk off to dance with her girls. "put your fishing rod away Bonney no trout for you tonight" they would say lol. At one point I even said to my freind is this what it feels like to be you guys? To which he replies "hey mother
fucker what you saying!?!"
There is a line in a song by Motörhead that says (evolution is a mystery full of change that no one sees) this is very fitting to the way I feel right now,I had no idea how far I had come and my friends have no idea either to them it is just me,how wrong they are.
Finally I have got to give props to mr Owen cook for making the blue print. Totally changed the way I look at myself and the world a true masterpiece and in a ideal world would be tought in schools to teenagers. I know when I have a son I will be teaching him those principles.
Ok now we have cleared that up onto the blog entry.
Last night I went out with my boys. My chick was out with her friends and we are on the same strip of bars. Obviously i go to nightclubs with my chic ocationally but tonight we was not out together we were just in the same place,I could not Sarge I had to be a good boy and just drink beer and dance in case I was spotted creeping from a distance.
Through the night I was seeing girls that I would be creeping on if this was a normal night.... It was hell. I was a chode again, I found myself standing at the bar in full spectator mode. Brought back memories painfull memories of intense wanting,fear,confusion,frustration.A very valuable experience, I have made that identity level change that Tyler talked about it was not me anymore,I have transformed..I am not a spectator I am a player.
I had conversations with guys that I have not had for years,they were chide conversations these guys have no idea who they are, it's not even funny it's sad that guys are living like this,there view of the world is false there Are in the grips of social conditioning.
My friends were laughting at my as my chic came over to say "hi" then she would walk off to dance with her girls. "put your fishing rod away Bonney no trout for you tonight" they would say lol. At one point I even said to my freind is this what it feels like to be you guys? To which he replies "hey mother
fucker what you saying!?!"
There is a line in a song by Motörhead that says (evolution is a mystery full of change that no one sees) this is very fitting to the way I feel right now,I had no idea how far I had come and my friends have no idea either to them it is just me,how wrong they are.
Finally I have got to give props to mr Owen cook for making the blue print. Totally changed the way I look at myself and the world a true masterpiece and in a ideal world would be tought in schools to teenagers. I know when I have a son I will be teaching him those principles.