22 years old regular guy with some big dreams that I refuse to back down from. I’m doing my best to align myself with what I value most in this life. Love, purpose, wisdom and joyful self expression. Check out my blog http://willgood.net
Funny thing has been happening, trying to give out three compliments a day has stifled me. I constantly scan people and evaulate them, judge them on what they're wearing and then wonder what I should say about it. This only helps to put me in my head and make me a creepizoid. I'm just gonna go back to saying hello to a few people a day, being social and having fun, it works much better for me :D
Last night I went out with a couple friends to a music gig in at a place called Revolver....amazing place, super chilled out atmosphere with sick dj's and cute girls walkign around waiting for the talking to. I was able to get two numbers and even "deployed" the claw a few time ;) what was best was that it was totally natural, no forethought involved. Going to a house party tonight, will report back tomorra!
This is to expand on yesterdays idea, when the puzzle piece was still forming, still coming together like how a cloud of star dust forms a sun...swirling around a core idea and coming closer and closer until fucking BAM! the piece is formed. Now the piece for me is hovering patiently outside the puzzle waiting for action and experience to push it in with that sexy little *click*.
So yesterday while I was speaking of the pilot and ship analogy I stated that the pilot is your mind and your ship the body and both need to be in harmony for pure self esteem and happiness our default state to shine through. The mind is using its past experiences to put together a road map to get it and the ship to where it wants to be. When the pilot says GO LEFT! and you go left, the two are working in harmony and its a beautiful thing pushing you farther towards awesome town, but when the pilot says GO LEFT! and you go right, things start to break down. The reason the pilot is saying to go a certain direction is because it has recognized patterns and previous actions that got it to where it wants to be. Obeying your pilot is a good idea because if the pilot is honest, if he is wrong it only serves to correct the course further and faster next time.
Now what I figured out tonight while walking to the store to get some delicious cookies is that the pilot can get fucked up. For one, the pilot has to be set on the right path. There are two basic choices the pilot makes, living or dying....piloting the ship to the holy land of big rock candy mountain or into the gates of hell. Of course in that case the choice is simple, who in their right mind (hehe) would want to die? The thing is that the pilot can convince himself that he IS on the right course when he really IS NOT. Done through not acknowledging anything around him, none of the land marks or sign posts saying “gates of hell, 10km ahead” he simply shuts his eyes, plugs his ears and goes “lalalala” and blanks out while the ship goes right on ahead to destruction. The pilot also loves to hallucinate, going into the gates of hell and seeing angels flying around feeding him grapes while really he is headed straight into a rocky gyre sure to smash the ship. This is basically the 50 Cent analogy where he walks away confused from an interview convincing himself that “he got the money, he’s happy...right? RIGHT? ....the money...” see, his pilot was misbehaving, naughty naughty!
Ok, so how do you know if your pilot isn’t a fucking sociopath? Hm, take a look around you, are you goals productive and meaningful to YOU? how about those you admire...Soulja Boy or Nikola Tesla?.....your slob neighbor who hasn’t changed his underwear in three years or international legend Russell Brand? Are you fully acknowledging your reality? And finally, the big gun, the mother of them all...can you honestly say that you LOVE YOUR LIFE? This is hard to come into and its hard for me even now to admit that no I don’t absolutely love it but I am taking choices to get there. You should too. If you truly do you will not just know it, you will feel it deep, exploding forth as a glory never seen before, epitomizing the phrase “a future so bright I need shades!’
Enough about the pilot, how about that ship. The ship is really awesome, really really awesome. The thing is that the ship is always experiencing whatever the pilot moves it to, it cannot choose not to experience (until its dead) so the ship is honest, a fail safe of fucking amazing proportions. Have you ever noticed that your emotions will never lie? Tell yourself all you want that something isnt true but your emotions are the real indicator, because unlike the pilot the ship cant shut off its senses. So in the case of 50 Cent his pilot was dead assured that he made it, he had everything he wanted...but his emotions were telling him different. There was a split in the values of his mind and the actions of his body creating a HUGE rift in his experience. He could tell himself all he wanted that he loved his life but he did not truly feel it.
The ship and the pilot have to work together, over time, forging honest experiences together to figure out where they are headed and what will be most beneficial to both of them. And when finally the pilot is honest in his surroundings and happy with the decisions he is making and the ship is sailing towards a worthwhile goal, its sails will fill with a heavenly breeze blown by Zeus himself and will skip along happily in the golden waters of the Mediterranean where nothing else matters and nothing can stop them, nothing can stop you.
Skateboarding at midnight leads to ephiphanies...you can quote me on it...
Never deny yourself experience, right action and you can never find yourself through thought because you only know only what you know. The connection between thought and action is akin to a pilot and their vessel. A pilot sets the course and keeps on route but the vessel gets him there. To deny yourself experience is to stagnate, is to try to convince yourself that you need to gain no more knowledge, that you know everything, is to go against yourself. The body is equipped with plenty of sensory inputs and when they are firing they will tell you what is totally congruent with your core. Congruent to your core will bring you that fucking amazing feeling you’ve had a taste of, you’ve seen the light from under the door but only through experience and action congruent to your core will you open the door and let the light shine onto you, fully engulfing you in immaculate state, your default state. You will know and feel what is right only through action because you will be gaining experience, that is to live life.
You might be in a shit mood but how did you get there? Take right action because not taking action has gotten to this terrible, foggy, sticky state of unease and contempt. You have cut off the aspect central to living, experience. Taking right action is the only way possible to bring yourself out of that state of unease, unease because the pilot is telling the vessel to go somewhere, do something but the vessel seems to have picked up a glitch stopping it from complying. That glitch is social conditioning and the only way to debug is to experience. Your feelings will never lie (you will feel gross if you arent acting with your core) and your thoughts will never shut up (telling you the correct way to go) unless they are both working in harmony. The path is laid out for you, grab your nuts and walk the line. The lock clicked, the handle turned and the light of pure state shone out just a tiny bit a week ago.......it blew my fucking mind. I felt like the hulk mixed with obi wan kenobi tripping on acid thinking i was a super nova... I can do this, you can too.
Never deny yourself experience, take right action, dont stagnate.
I have been doing my three compliments a day schtick but i dont feel i’m really going after it. If I see someone I want to compliment, I wait till they come my direction or end up next to me somehow, which is really pretty whack so I think that will be what I’m going to do for my second week...go after what I want.
Hmm, what else... OH YEAH, I’ve been doing this cool thing lately where I question if I’m being tooled or I’m doing the “tooling”. What this means is that basically am I fully conscious when doing whatever or am I going through it on autopilot. Am I going to grab that cookie because I feel like I’ve earned it or is that cookie tooling me and pulling me to do something. A small shift but its made me so much more purposeful and productive. Fucking Awesome.
Finished Atlas Shrugged last night, and lets just say that Ayn Rand pulled some Wu Tang on my brain. “I’ll fuckin, I’ll fuckin...stick a fork in your ear, a fuckin fork and turn ya brain to mush like SWOOACCHHH!!” Gonna re-read the major speeches because I only fully absorbed a fraction of the entire thing.
Last night I met up with Kurt (this he is Churd-Tzu or something on here) rad dude but I was being a total weirdo. Way out of state, no momentum, just generally being not who I normally am. I was following him like a puppy dog when he dropped the hammer on me, “You’ve got to take action man.” Damn that shit hit me like a ton of bricks, he had me do one set which went real awkwardly but I’m super stoked that he didnt put up with my chodiness. From the bottom of my heart Kurt, thanks man :)
been keeping up with 5 a days and one of the bigger things im realizing is the power of voice. If it feels like its coming from my throat...they never hear me but when i produce my voice from my stomach its much more solid.
My chodely habits are coming back, gotta get back on it. For the first week, say hey to 5 randoms a day....second week, 3 random compliments to strangers a day and then after that 3 random questions to strangers a day for the next two weeks.
Starts today the third of May, which rhymed and thats pretty...dumb.
Day 1, week 1
said helllloooo to about 6 or 7 randoms... groups of asian guys, random walking people... nothing to report here.
I've been in oz since october and i've gotten no pussy, NONE. I've gotte one make out from a girl who clearly pre selected me but when she came over I choded myself out on a fucking grand scale.
I've gotten lazy, I've gotten comfortable, pretending that I'm advancing because I read theory all the time, when in the end its all just mentally fellating myself to make it feel like im doing something.
THIS BULLSHIT STOPS HERE, march 24th, 2009, get laid or die trying is in full effect.
To the future Will who will no doubt read this on his chodier days and try to rationalize it as his ego, FUCK THAT TOO. This is a moment of clarity like nothing rivalved before.
Stop footing around and PUSH YOURSELF.
I've even said that my greatest fear in life is not achieving my full potential, that which I know I am capable of.
I'm stuck deep in the evil jungle of the dancing monkey and its killing me. It's as though I have to prove everywhere I go that people dont give a fuck what I do...so I do stupid shit to prove to myself but in the end I'm always pinging off their reaction.
Its as though the puzzle piece is there, floating right outside its neat little hole where it would fit oh so perfectly and now i just need that force push to drop it in there.
The biggest dilemma facing our generation is apathy and I've fallen right into the trap
Check your ego's at the door cause you're about to see some fucked up shit.
I'm gonna drop a quote from a song I discovered yesterday
"The hatch is comin' open
OK, it's open
I'm movin' outside
OK I'm letting go
I'm starting to drift away
It really is dark out here
How am I doin'?
You're doin' fine
I'm beginnin' to see a, er, point of light on the horizon
It's, er, gettin' larger
Erm, I'm gettin' some pretty good oscillations
Oh it's, it's, it's comin' quicker now
It's, er, it's really going