Tyler's Blog
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Hey there!
Been back out in the field recording the past few days, it's starting slow but I'm learning a TON.
It's been great getting back into it, and I'll have so many new insights to share as well as great footage for you at the Hot Seat events.
This week I've got a really fun tirade I shot in Orlando, and in the meantime here's my upcoming events!
(Leaving for my first time ever in DALLAS TEXAS tomorrow! Psyched!)
January 17, 2013: Dallas
February 21, 2013: Miami
March 21, 2013: San Diego
April 4, 2013: Las Vegas
May 9, 2013: Los Angeles
May 16, 2013: Chicago
May 23, 2013: New York City
June 6, 2013: San Francisco
June 27, 2013: Boston
July 4, 2013: Washington DC
July 25, 2013: Honolulu
www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com
I have a 3 person team that handles ALL of your questions about RSD events -- Stuart, Huey, and David -- all guys in their 20's who are highly active in the game and pimp it with instructors personally, call them any time to talk game or ask any questions you want!
NORTH AMERICA (Toll Free): +1 (888) 546 7286
EUROPE: +44 (0) 2079 934 034
AUSTRALIA: +61 280 155 522
ASIA: +81345789305
I'm also considering adding a FIFTH week to the Miami "Model Season" 5 day alumni-only Bootcamp. It's 50/50 as of now but I'm considering opening it up so if you're interested here's the website.
www.modelseasonbootcamp.com
Hit up stuart@realsocialdynamics.com if you may want to attend. The first 4 weeks overfilled almost instantly and I'm on the fence about staying the 5th week.
<>==========================================<>
So today we're gonna rock into a video on the topic of how...
1) Women enjoy sex as much as men do, but just pretend otherwise so if a chode wants to marry them they don't appear low value.
2) Most hot women have had more sexual experiences than you have, and therefore it may make you jealous or insecure.
...and
3) You have to change the way you think about this if you want to be the boyfriend or date these hot girls.
Remember that the HOTTER the girl, the more likely she is to have had a lot more sexual experience. So this is important to get handled if you want to date the women you want to date.
CLICK THIS VIDEO NOW TO SEE TYLER ON A MASSIVE TIRADE ABOUT WOMEN HAVING TONS OF SEX, GETTING GANBAGED AND BEING EX PROSTITUTES, AND BEING TOTALLY COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. :)
Hope you enjoyed this one.
And to be real with you, yes many of the hottest girls are even EX ESCORTS.
You would be shocked at how many really hot women -- like the glamorous girls you see frollicking around, have sold themselves to high paying rich guys for sex at some point in their lives.
Most hot girls have also been with several guys in a night (or even at a time) -- and nearly all of them have had 3somes with other girls and it's totally normal to expect.
Why?
Well think about it. Let's say you're a cool / popular girl, with "it group" friends.
You're in a group of cool people and you WANT to be a part of this group, and you're going out clubbing and whatnot for 5 or 10 years in your late teens and twenties -- you better believe that during this time the people you're hanging with are going to be partying and having fun and at some point sex is going to be very natural and normal at the time.
Most hot girls will sleep with their attractive male friends who they go out with at some point or other, which you can tell because you know very well that you could sleep with nearly every girl in your social circle if you just decided to go for it.
(And if you're not that type of guy -- SERIOUSLY ADDRESS THIS, cause it should be automatic that most girls who know you WELL want to sleep with you -- the whole basis of cold approach pickup is if you can just isolate the darned girl she'll get to know you and sleep with you.)
They'll also hook up with random cute guys they meet out (remember: "cute" equals they get good emotions from him and want his approval -- they'll all call this "cute") and especially if the guy is just passing through town and they won't have to deal with him becoming clingy or their friends finding out.
The fact of the matter is that most girls start having sex with "cool" guys at a younger age, because we guys are usually too awkward and boyish to sleep with when we're 15 - 18 or 21 or whatever.
Then as the girls reach their late twenties or early thirties they usually shift their focus to finding a guy to settle down with, and so they have to keep up the image that they aren't overly sexually experienced because the "fun/hot/cool" guy isn't going ot marry a girl in her late twenties most of the time, so she has to find a guy who is cool and attractive but also willing to commit to her and only her for marriage and whatnot.
That being the case, since these guys tend to be massively insecure, and have made her life miserable in past relationships with them, the girls learn to front like they aren't into sex and having a lot of it -- out of necessity.
You can either choose to be the SENSITIVE DORK who they have to lie to, or the FUN NON JUDGEMENTAL GUY who they can be upfront about.
You can choose them bringing their friends to have threesomes with you, or you can choose them pretending they've never had a 3some so they don't freak you up.
It's up to you.
I know I struggled for many years with this issue and so the video actually has a lot of meaning to me, despite that at this point I'm so far beyond any of these issues it's hard for me to remember how to teach the solutions to them lol.
To be honest at this point I'm so geared towards sexual novelty and being titillated that I could care less what the girl has done in the past, I just want her to be extremely horny and want to fuck all the time.
Personally I like having sex ALL THE TIME. For me it's as basic a part of my day as eating food or going to sleep. It's important that I'm congruent with that and that I make sure I represent myself accuratel to any girl I'm with -- both for her comfort and my own.
(You've got to know who you are and what you expect from the girl.)
I remember a buddy of mine who runs a really successful website used to go out with me, and he always got laid.
He's tall and had long hair, very attractive / funny / confident Indian guy who knew how to carry himself well and never had a problem meeting girls.
Then he decided he wanted to "do the right thing" and get married, so stopped being a player and settled down with a fantastic girl who I personally like a lot as well, it was really cool to see.
But then a year later the dark side came out. My buddy and I are out at a bar and he's getting drunk, and through his drunken stupor he says to me....
"Man I used to love coming home drunk out of my mind, rolling over my GF and fucking the shit out of her, then passing out.... It was so fun."
I said "Shit man, I don't recall ever having had a girl I'm dating decline sex since I was a dork in my early twenties. Girls I date are always bugging me to have sex cause they know if I'm not with them I'm with somebody else, so they always want to keep me pleased and engaged."
"If you go home and fuck your wife, she will be SO HAPPY. What girl would EVER not be happy with you wanting to give her attention? You're being paranoid she wouldn't want you -- you gotta trust me on this, she will be THRILLED!!"
Then he said something that rocked my world.
"Bro, we're married now. It's different."
This was a few years ago and I was like "I've been with my GF for 4 years and she always wants to have sex... You've only been with your girl for 3 years so even though you're married it's less time than me."
He said "No. It's different when you're married. That stops once you're married. She TIRED and needs to be WELL SLEPT FOR WORK."
I laughed cause no girl I know would ever not want sex just because she's TIRED -- UNLESS I represented myself as PREDICTABLE and BORING and she knew I'd stay with her from lack of options.
I mean, if that same girl were to go to take a vacation and see a bunch of her friends, it's not like she'd stay at home at the hotel if they wanted to go out. She'd go out and party with them cause she's excited for the stimulation and novelty -- regardless of how tired she is.
FOR SURE she'd be out dancing on the damned stage, even if she was sick and had things to do and whatever else.
My buddy simply nodded his head in resignation and kept drinking, went home and went to sleep. I called up one of my many girls and went to have sex, and did the same but sober.
(Both preserving my brain cells and giving my body the emotional nourishment it needs to be healthy and happy via sex.)
I DO NOT THINK ALL MARRIAGES HAVE TO WORK LIKE THAT.
Don't panic! :)
But it's interesting to think about as an analogy to your own life, and how you're representing yourself to girls.
Does your girl perceive you as being available to her no matter what, or does she realize that you're a guy who is highly attractive and in demand -- and she wants to do whatever it takes to please you?
Are you WORTH IT to her to please you?
Does she view you as a SEXUAL guy or as a BUDDY / EMOTIONAL TAMPON who she can hang out with?
This doesn't mean to be paranoid -- even the horniest girl will get sick at some point and not want to have sex (hell it even happened to me recently -- and this girl is horny as hell).
It's simply something to think about as far as how you represent yourself to girls. Be honest with yourself and what you want -- it's up to YOU to be REAL WITH YOURSELF AND HER about who you are and what you want out of life.
This is probably one of the biggest lessons that guys get as they get into their 30's -- knowing who they are and what they value, what they want out of life and the people they want around them.
They have a bunch of bad experiences where they misrepresent themselves to the girl and wind up hurting her (and themselves as a consequence) so realize they've gotta be congruent with what they want and embody if fully.
Embody yourself as a chode, expect that behaviour mirrored back at you.
NO GIRL HAS EVER DONE YOU WRONG. THEY ARE SIMPLY A MIRROR BACK TO HOWEVER YOU'RE REPRESENTING YOURSELF AND RELATING TO HER.
Again -- something to keep in mind when you're deciding whether to be the judgemental insecure guy about sex, or the guy who wants to have great sex and is open about it and wants to facilitate what's fun to her as well.
<>=====================<>
I just thought of this old video -- one of the earlier ones I ever recorded -- on the same topic. It should provide some expansion and I'm guessing most of you haven't seen it.
It was recorded at Makapuu Beach a few years ago, and has a great view to boot! Check it out!
I remember at the time being so psyched about this video, it was the best I'd recorded at the the time and motivated me to keep improving on them.
Hopefully hammered the point home. :)
<>=======================================<>
Anyway I'm out of here, off to DALLAS TEXAS tomorrow!
I've never been there before and don't expect to return any time soon -- so if you're in the area be absolutely sure to come hit up the FREE TOUR!
HIT ME BACK WITH YOUR COMMENTS ON WOMEN AND SEX, AND LET ME KNOW YOUR EXPERIENCES AND INSECURITIES, AND HOW YOU'VE OVERCOME THEM! I WANT TO KNOW!
Thanks for reading and I'll talk to you soon! :)
Tyler
Been back out in the field recording the past few days, it's starting slow but I'm learning a TON.
It's been great getting back into it, and I'll have so many new insights to share as well as great footage for you at the Hot Seat events.
This week I've got a really fun tirade I shot in Orlando, and in the meantime here's my upcoming events!
(Leaving for my first time ever in DALLAS TEXAS tomorrow! Psyched!)
January 17, 2013: Dallas
February 21, 2013: Miami
March 21, 2013: San Diego
April 4, 2013: Las Vegas
May 9, 2013: Los Angeles
May 16, 2013: Chicago
May 23, 2013: New York City
June 6, 2013: San Francisco
June 27, 2013: Boston
July 4, 2013: Washington DC
July 25, 2013: Honolulu
www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com
I have a 3 person team that handles ALL of your questions about RSD events -- Stuart, Huey, and David -- all guys in their 20's who are highly active in the game and pimp it with instructors personally, call them any time to talk game or ask any questions you want!
NORTH AMERICA (Toll Free): +1 (888) 546 7286
EUROPE: +44 (0) 2079 934 034
AUSTRALIA: +61 280 155 522
ASIA: +81345789305
I'm also considering adding a FIFTH week to the Miami "Model Season" 5 day alumni-only Bootcamp. It's 50/50 as of now but I'm considering opening it up so if you're interested here's the website.
www.modelseasonbootcamp.com
Hit up stuart@realsocialdynamics.com if you may want to attend. The first 4 weeks overfilled almost instantly and I'm on the fence about staying the 5th week.
<>==========================================<>
So today we're gonna rock into a video on the topic of how...
1) Women enjoy sex as much as men do, but just pretend otherwise so if a chode wants to marry them they don't appear low value.
2) Most hot women have had more sexual experiences than you have, and therefore it may make you jealous or insecure.
...and
3) You have to change the way you think about this if you want to be the boyfriend or date these hot girls.
Remember that the HOTTER the girl, the more likely she is to have had a lot more sexual experience. So this is important to get handled if you want to date the women you want to date.
CLICK THIS VIDEO NOW TO SEE TYLER ON A MASSIVE TIRADE ABOUT WOMEN HAVING TONS OF SEX, GETTING GANBAGED AND BEING EX PROSTITUTES, AND BEING TOTALLY COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. :)
Hope you enjoyed this one.
And to be real with you, yes many of the hottest girls are even EX ESCORTS.
You would be shocked at how many really hot women -- like the glamorous girls you see frollicking around, have sold themselves to high paying rich guys for sex at some point in their lives.
Most hot girls have also been with several guys in a night (or even at a time) -- and nearly all of them have had 3somes with other girls and it's totally normal to expect.
Why?
Well think about it. Let's say you're a cool / popular girl, with "it group" friends.
You're in a group of cool people and you WANT to be a part of this group, and you're going out clubbing and whatnot for 5 or 10 years in your late teens and twenties -- you better believe that during this time the people you're hanging with are going to be partying and having fun and at some point sex is going to be very natural and normal at the time.
Most hot girls will sleep with their attractive male friends who they go out with at some point or other, which you can tell because you know very well that you could sleep with nearly every girl in your social circle if you just decided to go for it.
(And if you're not that type of guy -- SERIOUSLY ADDRESS THIS, cause it should be automatic that most girls who know you WELL want to sleep with you -- the whole basis of cold approach pickup is if you can just isolate the darned girl she'll get to know you and sleep with you.)
They'll also hook up with random cute guys they meet out (remember: "cute" equals they get good emotions from him and want his approval -- they'll all call this "cute") and especially if the guy is just passing through town and they won't have to deal with him becoming clingy or their friends finding out.
The fact of the matter is that most girls start having sex with "cool" guys at a younger age, because we guys are usually too awkward and boyish to sleep with when we're 15 - 18 or 21 or whatever.
Then as the girls reach their late twenties or early thirties they usually shift their focus to finding a guy to settle down with, and so they have to keep up the image that they aren't overly sexually experienced because the "fun/hot/cool" guy isn't going ot marry a girl in her late twenties most of the time, so she has to find a guy who is cool and attractive but also willing to commit to her and only her for marriage and whatnot.
That being the case, since these guys tend to be massively insecure, and have made her life miserable in past relationships with them, the girls learn to front like they aren't into sex and having a lot of it -- out of necessity.
You can either choose to be the SENSITIVE DORK who they have to lie to, or the FUN NON JUDGEMENTAL GUY who they can be upfront about.
You can choose them bringing their friends to have threesomes with you, or you can choose them pretending they've never had a 3some so they don't freak you up.
It's up to you.
I know I struggled for many years with this issue and so the video actually has a lot of meaning to me, despite that at this point I'm so far beyond any of these issues it's hard for me to remember how to teach the solutions to them lol.
To be honest at this point I'm so geared towards sexual novelty and being titillated that I could care less what the girl has done in the past, I just want her to be extremely horny and want to fuck all the time.
Personally I like having sex ALL THE TIME. For me it's as basic a part of my day as eating food or going to sleep. It's important that I'm congruent with that and that I make sure I represent myself accuratel to any girl I'm with -- both for her comfort and my own.
(You've got to know who you are and what you expect from the girl.)
I remember a buddy of mine who runs a really successful website used to go out with me, and he always got laid.
He's tall and had long hair, very attractive / funny / confident Indian guy who knew how to carry himself well and never had a problem meeting girls.
Then he decided he wanted to "do the right thing" and get married, so stopped being a player and settled down with a fantastic girl who I personally like a lot as well, it was really cool to see.
But then a year later the dark side came out. My buddy and I are out at a bar and he's getting drunk, and through his drunken stupor he says to me....
"Man I used to love coming home drunk out of my mind, rolling over my GF and fucking the shit out of her, then passing out.... It was so fun."
I said "Shit man, I don't recall ever having had a girl I'm dating decline sex since I was a dork in my early twenties. Girls I date are always bugging me to have sex cause they know if I'm not with them I'm with somebody else, so they always want to keep me pleased and engaged."
"If you go home and fuck your wife, she will be SO HAPPY. What girl would EVER not be happy with you wanting to give her attention? You're being paranoid she wouldn't want you -- you gotta trust me on this, she will be THRILLED!!"
Then he said something that rocked my world.
"Bro, we're married now. It's different."
This was a few years ago and I was like "I've been with my GF for 4 years and she always wants to have sex... You've only been with your girl for 3 years so even though you're married it's less time than me."
He said "No. It's different when you're married. That stops once you're married. She TIRED and needs to be WELL SLEPT FOR WORK."
I laughed cause no girl I know would ever not want sex just because she's TIRED -- UNLESS I represented myself as PREDICTABLE and BORING and she knew I'd stay with her from lack of options.
I mean, if that same girl were to go to take a vacation and see a bunch of her friends, it's not like she'd stay at home at the hotel if they wanted to go out. She'd go out and party with them cause she's excited for the stimulation and novelty -- regardless of how tired she is.
FOR SURE she'd be out dancing on the damned stage, even if she was sick and had things to do and whatever else.
My buddy simply nodded his head in resignation and kept drinking, went home and went to sleep. I called up one of my many girls and went to have sex, and did the same but sober.
(Both preserving my brain cells and giving my body the emotional nourishment it needs to be healthy and happy via sex.)
I DO NOT THINK ALL MARRIAGES HAVE TO WORK LIKE THAT.
Don't panic! :)
But it's interesting to think about as an analogy to your own life, and how you're representing yourself to girls.
Does your girl perceive you as being available to her no matter what, or does she realize that you're a guy who is highly attractive and in demand -- and she wants to do whatever it takes to please you?
Are you WORTH IT to her to please you?
Does she view you as a SEXUAL guy or as a BUDDY / EMOTIONAL TAMPON who she can hang out with?
This doesn't mean to be paranoid -- even the horniest girl will get sick at some point and not want to have sex (hell it even happened to me recently -- and this girl is horny as hell).
It's simply something to think about as far as how you represent yourself to girls. Be honest with yourself and what you want -- it's up to YOU to be REAL WITH YOURSELF AND HER about who you are and what you want out of life.
This is probably one of the biggest lessons that guys get as they get into their 30's -- knowing who they are and what they value, what they want out of life and the people they want around them.
They have a bunch of bad experiences where they misrepresent themselves to the girl and wind up hurting her (and themselves as a consequence) so realize they've gotta be congruent with what they want and embody if fully.
Embody yourself as a chode, expect that behaviour mirrored back at you.
NO GIRL HAS EVER DONE YOU WRONG. THEY ARE SIMPLY A MIRROR BACK TO HOWEVER YOU'RE REPRESENTING YOURSELF AND RELATING TO HER.
Again -- something to keep in mind when you're deciding whether to be the judgemental insecure guy about sex, or the guy who wants to have great sex and is open about it and wants to facilitate what's fun to her as well.
<>=====================<>
I just thought of this old video -- one of the earlier ones I ever recorded -- on the same topic. It should provide some expansion and I'm guessing most of you haven't seen it.
It was recorded at Makapuu Beach a few years ago, and has a great view to boot! Check it out!
I remember at the time being so psyched about this video, it was the best I'd recorded at the the time and motivated me to keep improving on them.
Hopefully hammered the point home. :)
<>=======================================<>
Anyway I'm out of here, off to DALLAS TEXAS tomorrow!
I've never been there before and don't expect to return any time soon -- so if you're in the area be absolutely sure to come hit up the FREE TOUR!
HIT ME BACK WITH YOUR COMMENTS ON WOMEN AND SEX, AND LET ME KNOW YOUR EXPERIENCES AND INSECURITIES, AND HOW YOU'VE OVERCOME THEM! I WANT TO KNOW!
Thanks for reading and I'll talk to you soon! :)
Tyler
Comments
besserwisser
Trusted Member
Join Date: 07/28/2008 | Posts: 3080
Ryan2
Respected Member
Join Date: 11/13/2011 | Posts: 335
Great video! Sending this to a friend of mine now...
deepBlue_
Member
Join Date: 10/27/2012 | Posts: 79
Being non-judgemental about sex made me feel like I lost a burden. I think this one lays heavy on on our society because on one hand sex is a big deal for many people and on the other hand sex is everywhere.
I can't imagine how it has to be to live in a country like Iran where the sexual codex is muuuch sharper than here but there are so many young people there, want to flirt, kiss, have sex (I know they have all that secret parties, dating anyway but I wonder how they feel about it). Pretending that sex is wrong is one of the most fucked up, against human rights set of believes that exist.
Lupino-
Respected Member
Join Date: 03/15/2012 | Posts: 322
What if I'm already in a relationship where I misrepresented myself?
Where the girl perceives me as being available to her no matter what?
I can't just walk up to her and say "Have sex with me 5 times a day or I'm gonna fuck other bitches".
It can't come off as me "blackmailing" her for sex. That's childish.
im_alexjx_fuckyea
Senior Member
Join Date: 06/10/2010 | Posts: 181
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6897
I'd bet you actually ARE representing yourself as you really are at this point in time -- a guy who maybe ONCE had other options, but doesn't ANY LONGER, and she is now the best you can get.
Because if you're honestly still "that guy" I can't see her not being interested in sex.
That's what happened to my buddy. He WAS that guy she wanted to sleep with, but he lost all his swagger and knew deep down he couldn't go out and meet someone new unless he went through the pain of months of getting back out there.
(Which he no longer had the will to do.)
What would I do if I were you (just me personally)?
Break up with her and start from scratch. Always better to learn from your mistakes and resolve not to repeat them than try to "redefine" a relationship where the boundaries are already set and the girl will be angry that you aren't the same guy she met.
She would have been fine with whatever you wanted if it was defined from the beginning and you were "that guy" so it MADE SENSE IN HER HEAD, but at this point you don't get to lose all your swag and just logically say "Hey it would be really great if things could be different".
That can happen sometimes, but it's not typically how it works because people want their expectations to be met, and the expectations you set felt good at the time but are now poisoning the future of the relationship.
If she loved you THAT MUCH she'd encourage you to be the man that you're meant to be. But guess what? She just wants what she wants, and it's unlikely to occur.
OTOH if it does, it's proof she loves you that much and you should consider her a potential keeper.
Tyler
What if I'm already in a relationship where I misrepresented myself?
Where the girl perceives me as being available to her no matter what?
I can't just walk up to her and say "Have sex with me 5 times a day or I'm gonna fuck other bitches".
It can't come off as me "blackmailing" her for sex. That's childish.
Fortyche
Member
Join Date: 12/25/2011 | Posts: 31
And wow this really touches something about a girl I know. Except the other way around, she used to be very open about how much sex she had and I never was judgmental about it, but now she's switching it around and saying she doesn't want to have as much sex anymore and putting up the good girl image. Bear in mind I am in the emotional tampon category with this girl so I have no idea what to make of this, it's irrelevant to me but still it surprised me :P
ddrj
Junior Member
Join Date: 08/16/2012 | Posts: 10
startale
Senior Member
Join Date: 09/10/2011 | Posts: 188
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6897
There's actually some very good cultural reasons for people wanting to limit sex -- like if we had someone here to give their point of view they could make a fair argument for it.
The point is to be pragmatic and face reality as it currently stands -- ie: if you want to have a hot girlfriend she's most likely GOING to have had a lot of sex and you need to get over it.
Either that, or be one of those guys who freaks her out and she has to lie to about it.
Tyler
Being non-judgemental about sex made me feel like I lost a burden. I think this one lays heavy on on our society because on one hand sex is a big deal for many people and on the other hand sex is everywhere.
I can't imagine how it has to be to live in a country like Iran where the sexual codex is muuuch sharper than here but there are so many young people there, want to flirt, kiss, have sex (I know they have all that secret parties, dating anyway but I wonder how they feel about it). Pretending that sex is wrong is one of the most fucked up, against human rights set of believes that exist.
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6897
Tyler
And wow this really touches something about a girl I know. Except the other way around, she used to be very open about how much sex she had and I never was judgmental about it, but now she's switching it around and saying she doesn't want to have as much sex anymore and putting up the good girl image. Bear in mind I am in the emotional tampon category with this girl so I have no idea what to make of this, it's irrelevant to me but still it surprised me :P
Lupino-
Respected Member
Join Date: 03/15/2012 | Posts: 322
I genuinely feel this girl is worth the hustle to "redefine" the boundaries, I'm THAT "in love" with her.
If it doesn't work out it doesn't, but if it does, she really is a keeper :).
So, I sharpen my swag, I take some attention away from her and from the relationship, make her feel that DO have options, that I'm happy with her buy I CAN leave her, and see how she reacts?
I'd bet you actually ARE representing yourself as you really are at this point in time -- a guy who maybe ONCE had other options, but doesn't ANY LONGER, and she is now the best you can get.
Because if you're honestly still "that guy" I can't see her not being interested in sex.
That's what happened to my buddy. He WAS that guy she wanted to sleep with, but he lost all his swagger and knew deep down he couldn't go out and meet someone new unless he went through the pain of months of getting back out there.
(Which he no longer had the will to do.)
What would I do if I were you (just me personally)?
Break up with her and start from scratch. Always better to learn from your mistakes and resolve not to repeat them than try to "redefine" a relationship where the boundaries are already set and the girl will be angry that you aren't the same guy she met.
She would have been fine with whatever you wanted if it was defined from the beginning and you were "that guy" so it MADE SENSE IN HER HEAD, but at this point you don't get to lose all your swag and just logically say "Hey it would be really great if things could be different".
That can happen sometimes, but it's not typically how it works because people want their expectations to be met, and the expectations you set felt good at the time but are now poisoning the future of the relationship.
If she loved you THAT MUCH she'd encourage you to be the man that you're meant to be. But guess what? She just wants what she wants, and it's unlikely to occur.
OTOH if it does, it's proof she loves you that much and you should consider her a potential keeper.
Tyler
bingobango
Senior Member
Join Date: 08/27/2012 | Posts: 257
i believe its all about how your percieve yourself relative
to the other person. if you believe that YOU provide the higher value then you simply will not get jealous at what others do or dont do because like you said... "i know i provide the best bootcamp, so im not worried about it"
i know sex is abundant, so im not worried about what this girl did or didnt do or might do in the future.
its all makes sense. i was always kind of closed off growing up, like whats mine is mine and its to be gaurded and protected. you can see thats the total opposite of the abundance mentality and bad for enjoying the many women out there.
LenindC
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/11/2013 | Posts: 25
Ice000
Member
Join Date: 07/11/2012 | Posts: 76
Yes, everyone is fucking around me.
I'm not really getting it.
I remember when I told my friend this, and I finished off with a heartfelt "whyy??" - he was falling off his chair laughing about how frustrated I was.
And like EVERY GIRL I MEET, thinks I just SWEEEP girls off their feet, OF COURSE we're having sex, it's not like I just approached 1000 girls just to get my dick wet once. It makes you really special, you actually let me slip it in.
I think even if I told them, they just wouldn't believe it.
Well like my friend said: If you gotta approach 1000 girls to get laid.... better get to it.
ace01
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/14/2013 | Posts: 23
deepBlue_
Member
Join Date: 10/27/2012 | Posts: 79
...
There's actually some very good cultural reasons for people wanting to limit sex -- like if we had someone here to give their point of view they could make a fair argument for it.
...
Tyler
Being non-judgemental about sex made me feel like I lost a burden. I think this one lays heavy on on our society because on one hand sex is a big deal for many people and on the other hand sex is everywhere.
I can't imagine how it has to be to live in a country like Iran where the sexual codex is muuuch sharper than here but there are so many young people there, want to flirt, kiss, have sex (I know they have all that secret parties, dating anyway but I wonder how they feel about it). Pretending that sex is wrong is one of the most fucked up, against human rights set of believes that exist.
planforaction
Junior Member
Join Date: 11/20/2011 | Posts: 22
Please hit those people back!
Jake454
Trusted Member
Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1059
PSS
Junior Member
Join Date: 06/09/2012 | Posts: 7
Because right now I can't feel that way, even if I already had a vision of this thourgh some experiences in the game and the RSDNation ( a vision of being abundant, not being jealous or feeling hurt of hot girls cause they have had more sex and more easily than me). I feel I have to work to get sex, like approaching the right way, take care of the fear, let things go despite of wanting to control, try to set myself to her as an attractive guy and worrying about logistics, all this things I feel I have to think before can get sex. ( I feel like a wanna-be samurai, who does not have the control of his sword and has to train and think about every movement of his sword and each time this remember him that he doesn't know and shames him.)
But Tyler, the most dificult to me is that it seems easy to me saying that when you are having lots of sex, but, as I discover the pick up world and see that has a better way of living, I feel like the person who has been left outside the party, and wanting to enter it, but failing, and with fear that people see you as the try-hard that wants so much to come in, or feel like having to fake that I am cool with all this crazyness of pick up without really being, without it really not affecting me emotionally.
Even yesterday I got I girl that I have already kissed in a club, dated her and she went to my home to see a movie and denied me sex, shit I hate this LMR, hahaha, I thought I did everything correctly, didn't set myself as provider but as the lover, as I never paid her anything.
Walfredo
Member
Join Date: 01/11/2011 | Posts: 34
This video could not have come at a better time. I broke up with my girlfriend of about a year a few weeks ago but decided to keep her around for the regular sex (bad idea all around). I found out she started hanging out with other guys (durrrrr) and got super jealous and butthurt over it.
Logically I understand this is GOOD and will help me grow in the future having gone through this. It still just SUCKS living through it (picture the chode version of yourself in your early 20's).
When she met me I was the fun, non-judmental guy that she knew could go out and get other girls. Slowly over the year i became more and more domesticated, and despite her wanting me all the time anyway, it affected my emotions to the point where now I'm thinking about her with these other guys and getting insanely insecure and jealous, even though we aren't in a relationship anymore.
What, in your opinion, is the best/most effective way to crawl out of a hole like this? Just going out more regurarly again? Ozzie's article a few days ago about bad breakups also could not have come at a more opportune time. Would really love to hear your input bro, you have absolutely no idea what an inspiration you are to me and how much influence RSD has had on my life.
Fortunato
Senior Member
Join Date: 01/14/2013 | Posts: 117
Might have to try the having a friend fuck one of my girls thing. Would definitely help get over jealousy (though I don't think I have much of a problem with that).
CLove89
Member
Join Date: 04/21/2009 | Posts: 36
In past relationships I'm used to a type of girl who when you first get into the relationship it's like sex sex sex sex sex sex and it's great. "The honeymoon phase"
I recently started dating a shy chick and the sex has been pretty minimal do you find that with girls like that as they begin to open up to you in other ways the sex follows suit?
It's likely I just set the wrong tone in the beginning and didn't go after that pussy every day but i'd like to think the first.
Snakeeye
Respected Member
Join Date: 08/16/2012 | Posts: 559
i am 39, bald, short, and haved a belly, and i have sex with 4 girls last week,
Tuesday; a girl call me 10pm, and ask why i dont call her, and i tell her to come over, she take a taxi and sleep over,
Wednesday: take number from a really cute 23 year old read head,
Thursday: meet up with a friend in bar, open a really hot 30 year old russian girl and her friend, it end with they invite me and my friend to follow them back to there hotel, walk straight to work from the hotel the next morning 6am,
Friday: red head girl from Wednesday, call me and ask if i like to come over for dinner, i go there, and it end with we have sex,
Saturday: meet up with a asian girl i use to see, she leave Monday morning,
some times shit like this just happen, thanks RSD,
Reoq
Respected Member
Join Date: 06/24/2012 | Posts: 491
JamZx
Senior Member
Join Date: 09/07/2012 | Posts: 274
Much thanks Tyler.
Playboy
Respected Member
Join Date: 06/02/2010 | Posts: 588
Recently I became too needy with a girl who liked me in the first place, I fell for the "dream" of being totally in love, but at that time I was a little off focus on my life goals...
So strange because she would give me these little IOI's to keep me investing, why do you think this is?
Anyways I told her that I didn't want to have any more contact and after watching your disneyworld vid I realized that I have work to do when it comes to pickup, and this is something I have to struggle at, for as long as it takes for me to get that FREEDOM OF COICE..
Thanks Tyler, you the man ;)
Patrick.Bateman
Senior Member
Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 112
My ex was also my first and I always asked her about her experiences and than I got pissed of too, because I didn’t have any experience with girls whatsoever. When we broke up I knew she had experience and she was going to fuck other guys. I knew my game was fucked up and thats why I decided to work on my game. My devotion to game was fueled by anger, because I always thought my ex was banging some douchebag. Thanks for this perspective on how women think. It makes me appreciate them more.
kingcooper
Senior Member
Join Date: 10/16/2011 | Posts: 121
Just cos girls 'like' sex doesn't mean they like to fuck loads and loads of people.
zippykremlin
Respected Member
Join Date: 01/22/2011 | Posts: 482
Well, I have no cares about what the hell she does but I was just kinda curious, but what I found was pretty astonishing. She had just had a threesom recently and sex like 3 times already that week. Damn.
Gives you a totally different insight into how much sex girls really have.
SocialLab
Senior Member
Join Date: 10/31/2011 | Posts: 174
Love the material, keep it coming.
Zer0.Point
Respected Member
Join Date: 02/06/2012 | Posts: 354
It is a major paradigm shift if you're coming from mr. chode frame.
The less isolated you see yourself, the less boundaries around you and others, the more life becomes this huge slumber party... or orgy.
Back in college I had this huge epiphany - I hated it when guys were more dominant than me in class, because I had always been used to being the badass. So once I was in a class with 25+ girls, and there was just me and this other guy. Well, turns out he was more dominant than me. So what I did was force myself to not see him as the "other" but rather as a part of the whole in which I was already included. This made me LEARN from him, NOT be jealous of him, and ultimately it made me see the huge difference between being a chode and being cool. The girls also saw that we were not reaction seeking from each other and thus they placed pretty much EQUAL value on us.
Pretty awesome huh ?
Moral of the story: Do not be a "separate" "Isolated" chode. Evolve past it. Become a part of the tribe. Be cool.
goosebump
Respected Member
Join Date: 11/05/2010 | Posts: 323
its hard to lose the chode mentality of neediness and wanting to have the "dream" of marriage. are there any practical tips you can do to get your brain used to the feeling of your a girl you like being polygamous? and if girls are socially conditioned how do they explained to their friends let alone themselves that theyre in a polygamous relationship? what happens when you get to the stage that you want kids with the girl, how would she explain that?
Zer0.Point
Respected Member
Join Date: 02/06/2012 | Posts: 354
Through pickup, you become more human. No one above or below. You see what is most natural (lots of sex). You stop wanting to be this huge player to build your ego. You stop judging and comparing yourself to others. Other people's success is YOUR success. You BECOME a natural.
Zer0.Point
Respected Member
Join Date: 02/06/2012 | Posts: 354
Because to cut yourself from the tribe not only requires a lot of energy to maintain a separate identity, the identity you cultivate is hit or miss because you try focusing on very isolated and variable things that you think will make you stand out. This is how people become rigid. This is how people become attached to only one part of their identity at the expense of being a well-rounded person.
This may or may not be what Tyler is trying to get at, but either way, this is my "version" or interpretation of what he is trying to communicate in this video.
Zer0.Point
Respected Member
Join Date: 02/06/2012 | Posts: 354
But the awesome thing is that you're much more open to learning from EVERYONE in this manner because you're not primarily interested in protecting yourself from them.
Kaleidoscope
Trusted Member
Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 2051
Takes me back to 2008 when I was a newly converted virgin, dating a girl who'd had threesomes, foursomes, sevensomes, gang bangs, been a bdsm sex slave etc...the worst thing was, she saw me as such a chode that she wouldn't do anything more than regular sex and blow jobs! fucked with my head so bad, that I went and dated the most ugly boring girl after her, just so I could have some peace of mind!
Its only now that I'm in the low 20s and I've had one threesome (old soccermums, so it doesnt really count) that I no longer feel like a 'virgin' next to the girls I see...
Props on a solid post and video!
swarsh
Junior Member
Join Date: 02/18/2012 | Posts: 21
TheFinisher
Respected Member
Join Date: 05/17/2011 | Posts: 836
Great videos! That's the shizzit.
Have you had this scenerio and how was it handled?
A girl is your good friend.
She has grown on you.
She has a bf.
You and her have sexual energy.
Props, man!
Kaleidoscope
Trusted Member
Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 2051
Lol!
SebastianValmont
Senior Member
Join Date: 11/28/2009 | Posts: 155
My ex girlfriend dated a 6'3" black basket ball player before she dated me, 5"9' with an average dick and that used to bother me. I'm dating a new chick now and I'm passed that but yeah, this video helped a lot, thanks man.
Luke
Andre~
Respected Member
Join Date: 01/14/2011 | Posts: 842
wyK1NG
Junior Member
Join Date: 05/16/2010 | Posts: 26
P.s.: You got to kick Juliens Ass, he dresses like a bum and his hair is terrible. Such people cant be taken serious -besides the good content.
No1Decoy
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/10/2013 | Posts: 6
I've had that situation bu it was in a very specific Dom/sub relationship. Do you guys think that going out with a girl and telling her to go home with a guy serves the same purpose? Or watchig a video of her getting fucked? This jealousy thig seems to be a relationship sticking point for me and im thinking just do the drastic measures and force myself past it. I can play it cool but I want to genuinely not give a shit anymore. Kinda still a newbie so maybe just need more reference experiences.
No1Decoy
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/10/2013 | Posts: 6
No1Decoy
Junior Member
Join Date: 01/10/2013 | Posts: 6
Gulisos
Senior Member
Join Date: 08/26/2008 | Posts: 119
Mostly I agree with you but I have also mine own unique view.
I think that acceptance of promiscuity can go only so far and it depends on person.
I understand that if you are in phase of exploring sexual world and wants a lot of women you have to be open and not rely on double standards. If you want a lot of girls in non exclusive relationships, you have to accept that they will have a lot of partners as well. At this stage is probably irelevant as you are expanding and don't really care.
Situation change if you agree that you want to be in exclusive relationship or marriage.
My view is this:
In exclusive relationship:
The girl past doesn't mean anything to me.
I have total trust in the girl, I would not monitoring her or be paranoid at all.
but...
If she cheat on me and therefor cross my boundaries I am going to end this relationship, because I have some standards, also because I have abundance and therefor can pick the one girl that will value my worldview and commitments.
What do you think about cheating in exclusive relationship and how to prevent it, while at the same time not be jealous?
Berty
Member
Join Date: 01/11/2013 | Posts: 70
Whenever I get comfortable with a girl and we talk about sex it's always mind blowing. Even had a conversation last night over dinner with a good friend after we had a fight because she wanted to date and I didn't. Girls really enjoy sex and it's not really that special, it's just a thing that happens with cool guys. For newbies like me it's like 'omg sex yay!'
I'm still at the stage where my mind is like blowing open and I get really paranoid after I do things that are new to me. After I have a big night doing slutty shit (for example getting one chick to blow me in the car then sleeping with her friend later) I get really freaked out and my mind fucking explodes. Where as the girls didn't really care that much. They were just having fun.
You're right, it's a world we need to open our eyes too.
Cheers Tyler!
nogirlfriend
Junior Member
Join Date: 11/01/2012 | Posts: 11
OTOH if it does, it's proof she loves you that much and you should consider her a potential keeper.
Tyler
Kal55
Junior Member
Join Date: 09/14/2012 | Posts: 16
Met you at Hotseat in NY in November, dude from your hometown of Ottawa. I want to add some constructive criticism on your teaching methods about PICKUP and how I think that rsd is doing a mediocre job implementing the mindsets men need (and already have inside of them) to actually get laid. I find that the instructors at rsd NEVER discuss sexual tension and the importance of it within pickup. I'll discuss this one later but right now I'll give you my opinion on other issues that I find have guys running in a maze with no exit.
You teach students to be a bit higher energy than the club when what they should be doing is the exact opposite!! Moving slow as fuck and being chilled and laid back, the reason for this is because first off your mind automatically goes into relaxation and assumes value when you can slow everything down with your movements, second, the girl right away thinks WTF who is this guy and why isn’t he reacting to all this stimulus around him, this is what it also means to be in your own reality, third, when you feel THAT good in your own body by moving slowly you automatically transfer that energy to her and she starts to love being around you, you couldnt give a fuck less if she leaves, stays, or whatever. Also, when your high energy, the brain automatically says convey, convey, convey! It puts the mind into a different frequency and if this is not calibrated through years and years of going out high energy, your fucked because your mind will automatically fire quicker, that makes you talk faster, pathetic, talk too much, also pathetic, and come off as seeking approval, ultra pathetic. Being relaxed lets you assume. Period.
The reason why men and woman end up having sex in 5-10 minutes within meeting each other is not congruence like you said before in your videos, its SEXUAL TENSION. The idea of congruence shouldn’t even be mentioned, this comes from an inferior frame right of the bat if you think congruence is a problem, WHY THE FUCKWOULDN’T YOU BE CONRGUENT AROUND A CHICK!! Who the fuck is she? Guys need to stop looking at it as your equal value with her, your HIGHER value! When most chicks fuck a guy its because he was perceived as being higher value than her. She "won" HIM over.
Men need to understand that just by showing up there is already sexual tension between men and woman, its what society loves to cover up and its deep beneath the surface. The only thing the guy needs to do is build it, this is done through his eye contact and relaxed facial expressions. In your hot seat, you have amazing videos that exemplify what I am talking about, but in your rsd nation videos you fail to communicate these mindsets. I find students are stringed along with the massive amounts of information everyday to try to keep up and solidify non-needed esoteric topics. It feels like the indirect message you’re putting out is these students are an unfinished product, they feel the need that they need to watch the next video… and the next video….and the next video to get it!!
PICK UP IS EASY!! Very straight forward: Open, Escalate intelligently, build sexual tension and pull…the rest is logistics. It’s so sad when I see guys talking about stuff like the ego, freedom from outcome, and intent in a fucking mental masturbation movie trying to figure these things out so they can finally get results. Students are running around the club thinking they need to do 10-15 approaches to get into “state” which isn’t needed at all!! This is pathetic and it seems really try hard.
The last thing is the idea that when you open you have to talk 70-90% of the time, FUCK THAT! That’s pathetic and all comes off as you trying to qualify, when you assume your value through a relaxed state and maintain eye contact, you should use brevity, you will then stifle the chick by just locking eyes after saying something so she feels an urgency to reciprocate. If any of you have read the fountainhead you see this: BREVITY. High value guys like Howard Roark and Gail Wynand don’t feel the need to talk and talk, they use short and concise sentences. They assume people will start qualifying themselves to them by doing the rest of the talking.
I can go on and on but the fact is, your Hotseat videos and your actual game demonstrate exactly what I said above, however, the stuff your teaching in the free tours and vblogs a lot of the time contradicts it. I hope I helped some students and I hope they don't just follow what you say because your "Tyler". As you said: first hand experience is what makes you really good at this stuff and this is what I've experienced.
"The significant problems we face can not be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein