LOL so I wrote this post Monday and Wednesday and had the fun time of re-learning the lesson to make big posts in MS Word and cut and paste, as the internet crashed and I lost them. :)

This is the second time this happened to me this month.  I swear this is what happens when you get sleep deprived -- it's those LITTLE mistakes you make, like leaving your cell phone in a taxi cab or whatever.

Anyway I'm in Miami running the second of the three 5 day BC's here.  Just coming off of the Hot Seat 2 launch that ran 16 to 20 hour days for a month and a half, then the Chicago and NY programs, and finally the batch of programs here in Miami.

My brain is dead and I'm walking around in a sort of haze. :)  The programs have been pretty epic though -- by far the best I've ever run -- as I just keep getting better and better.  I like that it's cultivating a mental toughness and removing any last shreds of pussy laziness that I had.  In fact I recorded the NY Free Tour and Miami Free Tours on the topic of work ethic VS laziness so if you liked the "Truth About Success" video you'll see a few more of those coming out.

I've got a short new video today -- well like 13 minutes or something -- but that's kinda short for what's been up on here lately.  It's got the seed of one of my best "never talked about before" ideas in it, but frankly I did an inadequate job of explaining it and will have to do more videos on the same topic to make it clear.

Still I thought I'd release it because it's one of those really important ideas that deserves to be covered again and again.

btw my upcoming programs are...

San Francisco: March 15 - 17
Phoenix: March 29 - 31
Las Vegas: April 12 - 14
Washington DC: April 26 - 28
Boston: May 3 - 5

www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com


I'm also doing the final week of the Miami "Model Season 5 Day Bootcamp" from March 6th - 10th.

We'd had only 2 weeks of it on the schedule which sold out nearly overnight so we decided last minute to open up a third week.  The event is usually for alumni only but the third week is open to NON alumni as well.

www.modelseasonbootcamp.com

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Okay so what I'm going to talk about today is the MENTAL HABIT of just being CONGRUENT to whatever emotional state you're experiencing.

Here is a somewhat melodramatic quote from a Youtube commenter I just read as I cut and pasted the video into this, which basically sums it up...

"this video is important.  it is the seed which will grow and revolutionize how the common person thinks of pickup.  girls don't want to be involved with a guy's fake PR campaign or role. they want the real deal win whatever form it comes.  PU has been about role-playing for so long. No more!"
osnv89 1 day ago 5 

I dunno if I'd go as far as "revolutionalizing" :)  But he makes a good observation here, which is that yes, the goal of the video is to get you AWAY from the tendency to put on a FRONT with women.

CLICK THE VIDEO AND CHECK IT OUT, THERE'S A BONUS SECTION IN IT AS WELL, AND THEN I'LL EXPLAIN IN PROPER DETAIL BELOW.


Okay so there's a few nuances here that I didn't really cover in the video that I'll go into right now.

First is that -- yes obviously -- the video is meant more for guys who are NOT "hard case newbies".

I personally feel that "hard cases" need their own videos and have even considered creating a "hard case video series" or something like that, because guys who are on that level probably need a different type of advice.

(In this case a hard case newbie might be depressed and angry at life, so walking up "congruent" to that type of mode probably wouldn't be a good idea.  I'd almost rather he just walks around life FAKING being in a decent mood because although he wouldn't get laid from it, probably nothing will get him laid anyway and at least he's practicing taking on the identity of a normal human.)

That said though, you may remember Ryan's "Broken man game" that he used to great effect, just being congruent to the fact that he's pissed off and angry at the world -- pulling by saying "I hate it here!  I hate myself!  I just want to LEAVE!  Come with me!!"

So it can work -- but again Ryan wasn't exactly a hard case newbie at the time he was getting laid with this.

CLICK THIS AS WELL AND JUMP TO THE FINAL 25 MINUTES -- EVEN IF YOU'VE SEEN IT -- AS IT'S A PHENOMENAL COMPLEMENT TO THE VIDEO ABOVE AND FEATURES RYAN'S "BROKEN MAN GAME".  YOU WILL ALSO SEE IT WITH FRESH EYES BASED ON WHAT YOU SAW ABOVE. 




Anyway the other thing about it I wanted to explain is that the KEY to what I'm saying is:  girls don't usually just blow you off for a "lack of value" but rather there's something OFF about you as far as being INCONGRUENT.

Obviously they DO blow you off for all sorts of shit -- like I hit up girls in the worst situations and they could be with their husband or whatever else -- but GENERALLY SPEAKING I've found that I get blown out a lot more for being incongruent than not being "high status" enough for them.

If you want to understand this better -- and I wish I would have added this example into the video -- it's CRAZY how often I see beta male non good looking guys chatting up hot women, and the girls are giggling their asses off and totally into him.

That's not to say they'll fuck him necessarily, although I bet if he structured it where they're hanging out later in the night he'd have a decent chance just cause girls are often bored and horny, but they TALK to him and show interest in what he's saying at very least.

Well when you see these beta male non good looking guys with hot girls into them, what is the commonality?

They're just CONGRUENT to who they are and relaxed and being themselves.

Now you might be asking "Well if I won't usually get SEX like this, then what's the point?"

The points are...

1) Sometimes you WILL get laid like this (just reference the video of "Tyler pulling while out of state")

2) Being congruent gets you into lots of conversations, which quickly wakes up your brain and gets you talkative, and then later you BUILD MOMENTUM and SWITCH ON and get laid.


3) This mode also gets you in a headspace that you will ALWAYS be yourself, which has HUGE HUGE HUGE repercussions as to how you walk through life.

Basically if you get yourself into a mode where you're going to be congruent to where you're at no matter what, there's more of a solidness to you as a dude in general.  This is literally a MENTAL HABIT of just being congruent and not a try-hard, which helps massively on pulls, day game where you have no momentum, day 2's, dealing with aggressive guys, etc etc.

And btw -- I'm far from the world's most "congruent man".  I have plenty of incongruences as well.  You don't have to be perfect with this, just improve with it gradually over time.  Like I'm more congruent now than last year, or the year before.  No rush to get there, just keep it in mind and enjoy the journey.

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What we're talking about here is actually similar to what I learned from the past few years of public speaking.

If I do a kick ass speach and then go to the next speach and try to REPLICATE THAT VIBE it will usually bomb, because emotions come in waves.

I've learned that if I'm feeling chill, do a chill speach with good content.  If I'm feeling crankly from being overworked, do a cranky speach on stepping up and taking action.  Just be congruent to wherever you're at and it will come out the best.

(Again though this assumes a certain BASELINE OF NORMALCY and that you aren't a "hard case" newbie type guy.  As a hard case you can't just accept where you're at -- you need to aggressively push against it and CHANGE.  But for a regular guy -- not even some super amazing guy but just a REGULAR guy -- this is what I found to work really well.)

The key to all this is that the girl is looking for incongruencies in your eyes as you speak.

If you just stay congruent to where you're at, she sees no weird flinching or resistance of where you're at, and so she gets into you.

The problem with trying to fake high status when you're not feeling it is that she sees you're in RESISTANCE to not being high status, which makes you look EVEN LOWER STATUS.

What's crazy though?

A guy like myself for example -- I've usually fucked girls hotter than her, have cooler friends than her, have my shit together in life, access to everything, etc.

So if I'm really this cool guy, and I'm just not feeling good at the exact moment, why am I FAKING being high status?  It's actually making me come across WORSE. :)

Same with yourself, even if you don't have similar assets of life experiences, remember that a cool guy wouldn't be bothered with this.

NOTE HOWEVER that a cool guy also wouldn't FAKE being congruent or FAKE being nervous to get the girl.  He'd just do whatever he's gonna do.

You DO have to make an effort to talk though.  So none of this means you can just say "Well I'm gonna be congruent to NOT WANTING TO TALK AT ALL."  Clearly if you're APPROACHING the girl you must want to talk, so if not that's fucked up.

Look most of this is really common sense, so I'm just sort of filling in the blanks of misinterpretations here.  Use your brain -- this allows me to put out videos that aren't totally perfect without having to re-record them a million times to account for every  misinterpretation.  I'm sure you get the idea. :)

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One last point as well, and I want to do another video on this later...

There's a book out called "Sex At Dawn" that I haven't read yet, but the gist I'm hearing about is it that back in the day everyone in the tribe used to all fuck eachother in orgies or something like that.

This flies a bit contra to the "alpha male gets all the girls" way of looking at the game, from "Red Queen" or "Selfish Gene" etc.

Truth be told there were probably different types of tribes, some that shared women and some where the alphamale kept a harem and the beta males got jack shit.  And let's be honest, you've probably seen yourself that when you're more alpha you get more attraction, so that goes without saying.

But I found it to be an interesting example where you could imagine that say a guy wasn't the #1 guy, but maybe the #4 guy in the tribe and he LIKED THE ROLE and ACCEPTED THE ROLE and was CONGRUENT TO THE ROLE because he felt comfortable in the tribe, he would still get laid.

My video editor / buddy Mike is a good example of this, where he isn't some super alpha male AT ALL and yet he's had sex with around 100 girls who are mostly 8's / 9's / 10's.  It really surprises you when you hear about it but if you look at him, he's just a REALLY congruent dude.

It's like there's no RESISTANCE to him at all.  He's never try hard and always at ease with himself, even though he doesn't have all the alphamale thing going on so much.

(He's actually made efforts to learn it cause he thinks it's cool, but it's more from a place of self amused curiousity than needing it out of insecurity.)

Anyway I see a lot of girls who I get blown out by, and Mike winds up attracting when we're out.  So the way I imagine it is like I'm coming across as the try-hard alphamale who is maybe the alpha in some other tribe but doesn't really belong here, whereas Mike is the INTEGRATED #4 man who is ACCEPTED by the tribe and everyone likes -- cause he's not RESISTING his less alphamale role.

(I realize this is getting a lil weird here... I'm sort of having fun with this, try not to take it too seriously, just theoriing and having a bit of fun so don't take it too seriously -- who the fuck KNOWS what cavemen were really up to??)

Point being is that given girls are often bored and horny these guys get laid a decent amount.  And the fact they hae no resistance about their status in the situation, that just makes them come across like they FIT IN and are PRETTY COOL which is bound to create attraction in many girls.

Something to think about anyway.  Again getting a lil out there..

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One last thought btw and then I'll crack out of here (headed to Joe's Stonecrab with the crew!).

The video you saw above was an example of 2 things I've worked on the past few years.

1) Just shipping the damned product on a deadline no matter what.

(Well actually I missed my deadline due to the article crapping out twice this week, like a huge idiot as I did that previously as well, but at least I got the video done on time.)

I felt the video was inadequately explained as it was honestly one of my GEM concepts and I could do a good 30 minutes on it that would make it a lot more impactful and profound.  But after I took 4 years doing up Blueprint Decoded I decided that for the Youtube stuff I would just do the BEST JOB I COULD WITH THE TIME RESOURCES THAT I HAVE.

This has been tough for me because my instinct is RE-RECORD.  But the video is decent and the bottom line is that it was freezing cold out there which froze my brain, and I was underslept as a motherfucker.  So it was honestly the best job I could do with the time and energy that I had -- better to ship the fucken thing and have a new video this week than nothing at all. 

Obviously a certain standard has to be maintained or people lose interest, but I felt it made the cut.

You often see in my articles "I'm running out the door" as I write them up, and that's because I usually limit myself to around 20 - 60 minutes on the frontpage articles.

Why?

Because if I allowed myself more I wouldn't physically have the time to get them done.  It bugs me because I know I could do a lot better, but I also know that doing it this way ensures that I'll have new content every week.

The key has been in learning to produce 8.5 out of 10 content RAPIDLY as opposed to taking forever on the 10 out of 10.  Then from there working behind the scenes on the masterpeices that you can create as a 10 out of 10 to leave behind as your legacy (as well as the main things people can focus on when they first find you).

This may sound common sense to a lot of people, but it's been challenging for me and something I've been proud of in terms of a shift in thinking.  A lot of it I attribute to Seth Godin in the book "Linchpin" and Pressfield's "The War Of Art".

2) Experimenting with different ways of doing things that could make good use of strengths, even if it risks turning people off.

So in this video I left in the part with the security bugging me, cause I thought people may find it amusing.

Truth be told?  I get guys harrassing me when shooting vidoes outside ALL THE TIME.

But I noticed in a comment the other day a guy saying...

"one thing I appreciate about Tyler and the RSD crew is how they film these videos in PUBLIC places, with people walking and 'eavesdropping' on what they're talking about on cam. That REALLY is what's it all about, pushing yourself, pushing that comfort zone constantly - day by day just dissipating 'giving a shit what people think'"
sixamsedna 2 months ago 37

So I thought to myself "Actually YEAH we do go to a lot of bullshit to shoot these OUTSIDE -- and there IS sometimes little bullshit interruptions, so maybe people would think it's funny to see how I handle it mixed into the vids."

I was kinda on the fence about leaving in the part with security bugging me about the silly tripod thing, because in the past I would edit it out.  It's also kinda a distraction and comes across a bit immature.

But then I figured "Why not experiment and see what people think of it?"  Not that it's even the main focus of the video and most of the comments are on the content, but just to see in general how it flies with the audience.  And so far it seems like people did find it to be kinda funny or whatever.

I did something similar with "The Truth About Success -- Why You Should Rather Die Than Miss A Day In The Gym" video.

When I released it I was concerned people may dislike the video, or that it would be too off topic, or even too intense and insane.  But it turned out to be one of the most popular in the past year.  People come up to talk to me about it on the street and all that -- had a lot of great feedback on it.

Again this is looking at a strength -- the fact I work my ass off, some people are interested in that.  Talking about work ethic also gets me a lot of entrepreneur students, who attend and say "I like that you're a hard worker and that's what made me want to do the event with you."

I think in general the way you want to experiment with strengths is start off doing what works, then play with new things in the middle, and then end with what works.

Standup comedians do this as well (you can see it explained in Jerry Seinfeld's "The Comedian" movie) where they OPEN with their strongest material, try out new material in the middle, and close with something field tested to be awesome.

You can do the same in game when you think about expanding your repertoire as well.  Be congruent in the start, maybe play with some push/pull or physical stuff you've never done for a few minutes in the middle, but then close with whate works.

This is sort of the bridge between "self acceptance and self improvement" as far as social interactions go.

Anyway the videos have been a good win/win opportunity for me to play around with different ideas, get a lot of feedback on what people like and dislike, while allowing YOU to get a lot of free content.  Also a way for me to practise staying on schedule, getting things out on time, and managing a schedule -- so when I'm older I have a good background of experience with it and can take it to higher and higher levels.

(Sounds funny for me to say "I do this for practice managing a schedule" but IT'S TRUE!  This shit is challenging and you gotta learn one step at a time.  That's really what you've been seeing from me the past few years.)

btw the question I'd ask YOU:  What are YOUR strengths that you're unaware of / take for granted?

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Okay so I'm out of here, off to go eat with Julien and Jeff and a bunch of our buddies who are in town!

Hope you're having a kick ass week and I'll be back next week with a new 30 minute video on daygame that features little bursts of infield footage (that short type that will annoy people -- but at least will make the point clear that's trying to be conveyed!).  It's great and you will love it.

LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON TODAY'S TOPIC?  WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON EMBODYING WHATEVER EMOTIONS YOU FEEL?

Have fun!!

Tyler