Tyler's Blog
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Hey!
Just woke up on this fine Wednesday morning. Sort of groggy. Been catching up on some sleep.
Phoenix this past weekend was............FUCKING AWESOME.
The snobby suburb in Phoenix is called "Scottsdale" and it is the absolute shit for what we do. Was up in Mint and Scottsdale W which were both teaming with stunners, then cranking prime rib at the Scottsdale Saddle Ranch every day and did a bit of shopping during my time off.
I also recorded a video overlooking Scottsdale which you'll see below -- if you like the desert, the view is really good. In the meantime I also thought I'd mention that I have programs coming up with Alexander~ and Julien that are coming up in April and May.
This is a pretty rare opportunity for USA people to learn from both Alex and myself at the same event, as Alex hasn't done programs in the USA in several years and won't be doing them again here any time soon. And obviously having Julien on board for Boston and Austin will also be the shit.
The upcoming dates are the following, and I've listed my co-instructors beside them as well...
April 12, 2012: Las Vegas (with Alexander~)
April 26, 2012: Washington DC (with Alexander~)
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta (with Alexander~)
Whether you're interested in the Free Tour, Hot Seat, or Bootcamp, you can click on the following links...
www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com
You can probably guess that this will be my last big tour for a while, so if you want to do these events with me personally and take advantage of having Alexander and Julien on board as well, NOW IS THE TIME!
These are programs are YOU. They're built to get YOU to YOUR GOALS. Think about what you're trying to accomplish, and what vision you have for yourself, and if you think we can help them get on the damned train.
<>==================================<>
Alright so I'm actually about to run out the door to catch the Lakers game, so we'll make this quick.
I've seen a lot of confusion over the issue of how to approach "learning to pickup girls" from the angle of...
1- Should you just approach, approach, approach?
2- How do you replicate this during the day? Or "build momentum" during the day?
3- Is it better to go out with friends and meet girls in a more natural way? Is just gunning the approaches somewhat "forced"?
Etc etc...
These are all good questions. Here's the answer!
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO SEE ME 2 DAYS AGO UP IN PHOENIX, REVEALING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE GAME FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP :)
Okay so as you can see I haven't offered a "simple answer" to this one, but rather just tried to explain the ins and outs.
Basically I think that success in the game comes down to that clarity of intent -- where your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned...
As as well the accumulation of positive emotions in your body -- where as the day or night progresses, you're just having more and more fun that transfers onto the girls.
You may remember Tim's "Flawless Natural" program where he calls this "Intent + Woo" which is a great way of explaining it.
(Tim has a great new blog on the topic of "Freedom Businesses" btw over at www.freedombusinessblog.com -- check it out! He'll be at World Summit 2012 this year in Vegas as well!)
So in my case I spent the past 2 years really hammering on that clarity of intent aspect.
For me this was important because as I shed my final remnants of the more indirect approach style, it was difficult to wrap my head around the idea of approaching dead-on and creating attraction through intent as opposed to playing hard to get.
(Both are awesome approaches btw, but I prefer attracting via intent because I don't have the whole issue of LMR once the girl gets validated when I escalate. Also I just found it that it grounded me in a more masculine energy -- since I'm kinda dainty as it is -- as opposed to playing hard to get like a chick. Again though both can be really good, it's just personal preference based on my goals.)
Anyway it took a few years of going out constantly to get to a point where it expended nearly zero "willpower" to do even the scariest of approaches. I'm to the point where it's probably easier to approach than not to, at least most of the time.
From there though I've tried to turn my attention more towards the "accumulation of positive emotions" in my body when I go out.
I feel that this is equally important, and I haven't given it as much attention in the past.
Realistically I was just building positive emotions by approaching a lot, which as I got better and better I found that it gave me positive emotions anyway. And obviously when you're chatting with girls you get positive emotions from it, and also as they rub up against you or you get a few easy makeouts and whatnot.
But more recently I've tried to make it equally important to create processes of building positive emotions, because I've found that if I can just approach and be fully "self amused" that the girls will feel that I don't need them and become immediately attracted and chase me like crazy.
You can probably guess that I've known ALL of this for a while -- like probably 5 years easily -- but the game is really learned in cycles where you learn and RE-learn lessons over and over....AT DEEPER LEVELS.
So even though I've known that self amusement is important for a long time, I've spent the past few years just hammering and hammering on my "momentum building" processes, and gotten them down to the point that I'm basically the envy of the community in terms of that one particular aspect of my game.
Like I get phone calls from the crew and my natural buddies all the time asking me about it, just cause I have this one area down really fucking well. I especialy get a lot of question about it from buddies quitting alcohol for pickup, as well entrepreneurs and busy professionals who get stuck in their heads -- but I just get tons of questions about it in general.
(As a sidenote, here's the 2 videos I recommend for guys who want to learn this from me, if you haven't seen them...)
...and
From there though I look at guys like Alexander~ who have the self amusement aspect down so well, and you see it integrated into their personalities in terms of how they live their day to day life -- it's really amazing.
Like look at the way this guy goes through life, it's fucken crazy, I'm very psyched to be teaching with him for the next few events.....
So if you look at me personally, my strength is obviously in "execution". I'm good at getting shit done, knowing what's the right course of action and walking it, etc.
But my sticking point is I've often done so at the EXPENSE of positive emotions, since I'm strong headed and will just do whatever it takes.
Now that I've reached a point where I've nearly maxed that out however, my instinct to "do the right thing" tells me it's time to focus more on building those processes of accumulating positive emotions.
Not to say I'm not doing it really well already. It's been like a 500% improvement over the past 2 years.
But the execution of intent aspect has been like a fucken 10,000% improvement, so I desperately need to catch this up. :)
<>======================================<>
As a sidenote, I also wanted to mention that I've only come at the issue of "willpower" from ONE angle in this video and article.
But actually aside from just building up the willpower muscles in your brain in general, the other angle is impoving your SELF CONCEPT and INNER GAME.
Because obviously if you feel really good about yourself, and that the girl is benefitting from her meeting you, it requires a lot less "willpower burn" to make yourself do an approach.
So you realistically can come at this challenge from multiple angles, and I've just covered one of them here. It's a different topic than is mentioned here, but thought I'd reference it as well just so any newbies reading this realize there's many angles of attack to make improvements at this.
<>======================================<>
Anyway that's a lil bit about what I've been up to, and obviously you would have YOUR OWN areas that you need to improve in.
If you're a newbie, then it's ALL of them! :)
And if you've been in this a while, then like me, you'll probably keep coming back to the same principles in cycles over and over, getting closer and closer to the CORE of what will make you the best you can be.
Wish I had time to write a lil more here, but I'm shooting out of so I'll see you soon. Obviously with anything you get here, IMPLEMENT IMMEDIATELY!
Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! Have fun!
Tyler
Just woke up on this fine Wednesday morning. Sort of groggy. Been catching up on some sleep.
Phoenix this past weekend was............FUCKING AWESOME.
The snobby suburb in Phoenix is called "Scottsdale" and it is the absolute shit for what we do. Was up in Mint and Scottsdale W which were both teaming with stunners, then cranking prime rib at the Scottsdale Saddle Ranch every day and did a bit of shopping during my time off.
I also recorded a video overlooking Scottsdale which you'll see below -- if you like the desert, the view is really good. In the meantime I also thought I'd mention that I have programs coming up with Alexander~ and Julien that are coming up in April and May.
This is a pretty rare opportunity for USA people to learn from both Alex and myself at the same event, as Alex hasn't done programs in the USA in several years and won't be doing them again here any time soon. And obviously having Julien on board for Boston and Austin will also be the shit.
The upcoming dates are the following, and I've listed my co-instructors beside them as well...
April 12, 2012: Las Vegas (with Alexander~)
April 26, 2012: Washington DC (with Alexander~)
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta (with Alexander~)
Whether you're interested in the Free Tour, Hot Seat, or Bootcamp, you can click on the following links...
www.rsdfreetour.com / www.rsdhotseat.com / www.rsdbootcamp.com
You can probably guess that this will be my last big tour for a while, so if you want to do these events with me personally and take advantage of having Alexander and Julien on board as well, NOW IS THE TIME!
These are programs are YOU. They're built to get YOU to YOUR GOALS. Think about what you're trying to accomplish, and what vision you have for yourself, and if you think we can help them get on the damned train.
<>==================================<>
Alright so I'm actually about to run out the door to catch the Lakers game, so we'll make this quick.
I've seen a lot of confusion over the issue of how to approach "learning to pickup girls" from the angle of...
1- Should you just approach, approach, approach?
2- How do you replicate this during the day? Or "build momentum" during the day?
3- Is it better to go out with friends and meet girls in a more natural way? Is just gunning the approaches somewhat "forced"?
Etc etc...
These are all good questions. Here's the answer!
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO SEE ME 2 DAYS AGO UP IN PHOENIX, REVEALING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE GAME FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP :)
Okay so as you can see I haven't offered a "simple answer" to this one, but rather just tried to explain the ins and outs.
Basically I think that success in the game comes down to that clarity of intent -- where your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned...
As as well the accumulation of positive emotions in your body -- where as the day or night progresses, you're just having more and more fun that transfers onto the girls.
You may remember Tim's "Flawless Natural" program where he calls this "Intent + Woo" which is a great way of explaining it.
(Tim has a great new blog on the topic of "Freedom Businesses" btw over at www.freedombusinessblog.com -- check it out! He'll be at World Summit 2012 this year in Vegas as well!)
So in my case I spent the past 2 years really hammering on that clarity of intent aspect.
For me this was important because as I shed my final remnants of the more indirect approach style, it was difficult to wrap my head around the idea of approaching dead-on and creating attraction through intent as opposed to playing hard to get.
(Both are awesome approaches btw, but I prefer attracting via intent because I don't have the whole issue of LMR once the girl gets validated when I escalate. Also I just found it that it grounded me in a more masculine energy -- since I'm kinda dainty as it is -- as opposed to playing hard to get like a chick. Again though both can be really good, it's just personal preference based on my goals.)
Anyway it took a few years of going out constantly to get to a point where it expended nearly zero "willpower" to do even the scariest of approaches. I'm to the point where it's probably easier to approach than not to, at least most of the time.
From there though I've tried to turn my attention more towards the "accumulation of positive emotions" in my body when I go out.
I feel that this is equally important, and I haven't given it as much attention in the past.
Realistically I was just building positive emotions by approaching a lot, which as I got better and better I found that it gave me positive emotions anyway. And obviously when you're chatting with girls you get positive emotions from it, and also as they rub up against you or you get a few easy makeouts and whatnot.
But more recently I've tried to make it equally important to create processes of building positive emotions, because I've found that if I can just approach and be fully "self amused" that the girls will feel that I don't need them and become immediately attracted and chase me like crazy.
You can probably guess that I've known ALL of this for a while -- like probably 5 years easily -- but the game is really learned in cycles where you learn and RE-learn lessons over and over....AT DEEPER LEVELS.
So even though I've known that self amusement is important for a long time, I've spent the past few years just hammering and hammering on my "momentum building" processes, and gotten them down to the point that I'm basically the envy of the community in terms of that one particular aspect of my game.
Like I get phone calls from the crew and my natural buddies all the time asking me about it, just cause I have this one area down really fucking well. I especialy get a lot of question about it from buddies quitting alcohol for pickup, as well entrepreneurs and busy professionals who get stuck in their heads -- but I just get tons of questions about it in general.
(As a sidenote, here's the 2 videos I recommend for guys who want to learn this from me, if you haven't seen them...)
...and
From there though I look at guys like Alexander~ who have the self amusement aspect down so well, and you see it integrated into their personalities in terms of how they live their day to day life -- it's really amazing.
Like look at the way this guy goes through life, it's fucken crazy, I'm very psyched to be teaching with him for the next few events.....
So if you look at me personally, my strength is obviously in "execution". I'm good at getting shit done, knowing what's the right course of action and walking it, etc.
But my sticking point is I've often done so at the EXPENSE of positive emotions, since I'm strong headed and will just do whatever it takes.
Now that I've reached a point where I've nearly maxed that out however, my instinct to "do the right thing" tells me it's time to focus more on building those processes of accumulating positive emotions.
Not to say I'm not doing it really well already. It's been like a 500% improvement over the past 2 years.
But the execution of intent aspect has been like a fucken 10,000% improvement, so I desperately need to catch this up. :)
<>======================================<>
As a sidenote, I also wanted to mention that I've only come at the issue of "willpower" from ONE angle in this video and article.
But actually aside from just building up the willpower muscles in your brain in general, the other angle is impoving your SELF CONCEPT and INNER GAME.
Because obviously if you feel really good about yourself, and that the girl is benefitting from her meeting you, it requires a lot less "willpower burn" to make yourself do an approach.
So you realistically can come at this challenge from multiple angles, and I've just covered one of them here. It's a different topic than is mentioned here, but thought I'd reference it as well just so any newbies reading this realize there's many angles of attack to make improvements at this.
<>======================================<>
Anyway that's a lil bit about what I've been up to, and obviously you would have YOUR OWN areas that you need to improve in.
If you're a newbie, then it's ALL of them! :)
And if you've been in this a while, then like me, you'll probably keep coming back to the same principles in cycles over and over, getting closer and closer to the CORE of what will make you the best you can be.
Wish I had time to write a lil more here, but I'm shooting out of so I'll see you soon. Obviously with anything you get here, IMPLEMENT IMMEDIATELY!
Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! Have fun!
Tyler
Comments
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
It's like how if your girlfriend goes into some guys apartment and gets fucked, it's not even so bad that she fucked him cause it was too late at that point, rather it's bad that she went into the apartment in the first place!
Think of it in those terms. Don't go into the apartment!! :)
Tyler do you have any tips for restauraunt eating specifically concerning oils and staying away from the ones that blog your brain... I mean i know you like to go out to restauraunts do you just stay away from things that may potentially have this or that... ?
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
that was the realest shit i ever heard in my life!!
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
what is the difference between getting into state and identity level change?
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Wait til you see what I do in the next decade, it should be a wild ride.
One of the cool things I always liked about Owen is that he has the ability to describe principles of social interaction or self-actualisation in a cool language that resonates with young dudes like myself.
Probably there have been many men in the past who were equally inspirational and who offered basically the same messages. But Owen is the Guru of our time, he speaks our language.
For example terms like "to draw state from within" - Owen uses geeky "PUA-language", and oftentimes the language of the internet or hip hop slang, and mixes in a touch of spirituality.
So, in conclusion: thanks man :)
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
(And even more natural that a pussy who is too scared to go drive anywhere will form opinions about it to spare himself the trouble of getting out of his mother's basement...)
now it's like watching them for the first time...
NOW I FUCKING GET IT cause it fits 100% in my daily routine
nice!
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
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Tyler
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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Building willpower = ripping down autopilot thoughts / behaviour by doing shit you don't wanna do, ingesting higher level thinking material so you can stay focused on why you're doing it (fuel), and taking time off from the grind occassionally (rest).
Wash, rinse, repeat. For life.
Tyler
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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Will Alexander be present at both freetour and hotseat, or just freetour? His posts on the frontpage have been great!
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
the last couple vids from u n julien hit really close to home.. its nice to feel like im on the same wavelength as the guys who are doing it big... cool shit.
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Tyler
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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Not trying to be sneaky and say what's funny to HER and IMPRESS her, which doesn't give her a window into your cool perspective of life, or make her feel the fun of being with a high value guy.
I know what I'm about to type is probably irrelivant for those who are hooking up with quite a few girls out there but it confused me a lil when Brad said that he "decided to go out one night, and try to get slapped." for self amusement. Isn't that reaction seeking because he planned it in advanced? I guess it's one of those "paradox" things or maybe you can say it's cultivating or trying stuff out. Or you can say you're bringing out a part of you. Maybe I'm being too paranoid about being reaction seeking. I'm sure it'll get cleared up for me though LOL.
I'm gonna check some of Alex's articles on "self-amusement" out. I think anyone can become a "great seducer"/ "great with women" if they get their shit together and put the time in. Definitely gonna come back to this great article n vid in the future. Thanks sir n take care.
Tyler
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 6904
Even after i get a work habit going it's still hard to do my work and be awesome all day..
and what are the best books you've read??
AZmagic
Senior Member
Join Date: 09/25/2008 | Posts: 247
I think he meant to say approach, but to people so in love with the game like him, approaching is living.
Freudian slips for the win.
synergist'12
Respected Member
Join Date: 02/20/2012 | Posts: 725
Uncle Pancakes
Member
Join Date: 02/23/2012 | Posts: 78
So I actually don't think willpower is a muscle (as you can see, I enjoy challenging RSD's concepts, because I see them a different way)
I think it is part of the decision making process. When you decide to do something and understand that there will be things pulling you away from that goal, willpower is just the ability to fend off the things that are pulling you. When you condition your mind to fend off those things and have experience meeting your desired goals, you have essentially fueled your brain with proof that hard work pays off. Having "willpower" becomes something that is actually very easy. Once you get a taste of how good it feels to meet those goals on a regular basis, all of a sudden the opposing forces aren't so powerful. In my experience, those opposing forces become laughable. I wonder why I even ever gave into them. Meeting your goals becomes something you WANT to do. It becomes a positive experience rather than a fight. It just depends on how you view it. If you are constantly fixating on and worrying about the opposing forces, then it will be harder to work against.
If you focus on the goal you want to acheive, it becomes a matter of time and effort rather than a matter of soldiering through the slog.
Waginator
Senior Member
Join Date: 02/10/2011 | Posts: 247
Proximity
Senior Member
Join Date: 03/27/2007 | Posts: 258
I presume you've seen all the Tony Robbins programs, would you recommend any specific one? (or would you recommend some other self-development guy more than Tony?)
BTW, just wanted to add that you've been quite an inspiration through the years. You've grown a lot and you'll probably be an amazing self-development coach.
Just don't forget about your family, it's those closest to you that matter most.
Jake
champ
Respected Member
Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 808
here's what you do guys (I'm better than tyler). You feel good, you know it (you literally feel it in your body). Walk up, tap or w/e. And then, it's not about eye contact or any shit like that (that's just the surface). K, so when you feel good, you have this aura. Imagine that you have a bunch of little lamps pointing in all directions out of you body, that's your aura. SO WHAT YOU DO, IS YOU CONSCIOUSLY TAKE ALL OF THOSE LITTLE LAMPS AND POINT THEM AND SHINE THEM ALL ONTO THE GIRL!!!!!!
Try it, it will make you realize that the girl never really liked "you", she liked that swag energy, "the force" or w/e
"DURR, girls like me without me doing nothing cuz I have a really strong assumption of value". You're just there and the girl is just there and you sort of both get into this flow and that's natural and normal!! It has nothing to do with any value shit. WTF? LOL!
champ
Respected Member
Join Date: 06/19/2011 | Posts: 808
Not trying to be sneaky and say what's funny to HER and IMPRESS her, which doesn't give her a window into your cool perspective of life, or make her feel the fun of being with a high value guy.
I know what I'm about to type is probably irrelivant for those who are hooking up with quite a few girls out there but it confused me a lil when Brad said that he "decided to go out one night, and try to get slapped." for self amusement. Isn't that reaction seeking because he planned it in advanced? I guess it's one of those "paradox" things or maybe you can say it's cultivating or trying stuff out. Or you can say you're bringing out a part of you. Maybe I'm being too paranoid about being reaction seeking. I'm sure it'll get cleared up for me though LOL.
I'm gonna check some of Alex's articles on "self-amusement" out. I think anyone can become a "great seducer"/ "great with women" if they get their shit together and put the time in. Definitely gonna come back to this great article n vid in the future. Thanks sir n take care.
HanSoloUK
Respected Member
Join Date: 10/08/2008 | Posts: 345
I'm "out of the game" for the past 2 years - was on these boards really between 2006 to 2011.
However I still get lots of value from RSD in other areas of my life - work - and at the moment I'm training for a marathon ( before RSD I was an overweight 28 year old who couldn't manage a mile without stopping).
I've always found your work ethic and talks on will power really on the money.
HS
1985
Senior Member
Join Date: 09/10/2007 | Posts: 235
rOrO_thugin
Respected Member
Join Date: 12/29/2007 | Posts: 637