I'm the co-founder / executive producer of Real Social Dynamics, and the author of the upcoming book release "The Blueprint" -- I was born in Ottawa Canada (1979) and majored in philosophy at Queens University. Now live and work in Los Angeles California -- My life consists of managing Real Social Dynamics, writing "The Blueprint", running bootcamps, going to the gym, reading everything under the sun, and a twice a week surfing habit.
Hey so Julien is downstairs doing laundry (woooo!) and in 2 hours we will be flying out to AUSTIN TEXAS for tomorrow's Free Tour, Hot Seat, and Bootcamp. If you're in Austin we'll see you there! Psyched!
I've got a new video today that continues the previous series about "Short Term VS Long Term Mating Strategy" which I shot recently in Phoenix. It's going to reveal answers to many of the questions you may have had about what it takes to feel entitled with hot women as well as balancing work and play.
In the meantime my upcoming programs are...
May 17, 2012: Austin (taught with Julien) May 31, 2012: Atlanta June 14, 2012: Seattle June 28, 2012: Philadelphia July 12, 2012: Denver August 2, 2012: Honolulu (taught with Julien)
Absolutely get signed up on these if I'm coming through your city or anywhere close.
Incidentally Atlanta, Seattle, Philadelphia, and Denver are RSD's smaller markets so the programs will be more intimate than the bigger cities where I usually teach. This has the added advantage of me being able to answer tons of questions and provide more personal feedback.
I only come out to them once a year and in the future I may not be able to continue to make it out there, so get on it now while it's hot in your mind!
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Okay so we're going to rip into today's video which is a continuation of the "Short Term VS Long Term Mating Strategy" series.
I got the idea a few years ago and explained it to a bunch of my buddies, and they were really blown away with it. It sort of explains a lot of what you see as far as naturals and deciding how you should live your life.
CLICK THE VIDEO NOW AND I'LL GIVE SOME BREAKDOWN BELOW...
Okay now I also strongly recommend you click this one, to go over what the Free Tour video was talking about.
The idea of these videos is basically that on a certain level our brains detects a combination of.....
1) How much pre-frontal cortex activity (willpower!) we have.
2) What our best strategy is in the environment
And then decides what the best "strategy" to reproduce is.
For example I've been lucky to cultivate a huge amount of willpower over my life. So on a certain level my brain is able to look at my pre-frontal cortext and say "Yeah this motherfucker has the ability to raise a few really solid children that will survive for sure..."
That being the case my brain has these emotional mechanisms in it where if my circumstances aren't all set up properly to raise a child, I get all these negative feelings that "keep me out of state" until I've re-fixed my life.
Well how about a guy like Jeffy's buddy Evil Stifler? When his brain detects his PFC activity what does it say?
Probably something like "This guy can't pay his damned rent, how is he going to raise a child? Better to focus on keeping him in state at all times so hundreds of chicks fuck him and then even if he isn't around to raise the kids there's just so damned many of them that at least a few will survive."
Basically it's like a dandelion just shooting it's spores in all directions and assuming that at least a few will start growing, whether in the cracks of concrete or a nice grassy field. As long as some of them go on it's all good.
This is no different than choosing between spending 4 years to create Blueprint Decoded or just shooting out random videos and assuming some of them will catch on as I've been doing with the Free Tour (although I think the quality has improved since BP so actually it's a mixed strategy). Life is all about how you decide to burn away time and energy, so you look at what you're capable of and work with it.
Two points of emphasis here...
1) The brain is constantly looking at what it thinks you're capable of and RATIONALIZES what to focus on (in terms of RAS) and then comes up with a gameplan.
Funny enough this even applies if you look at Youtube comments under RSD videos from guys who say that picking up girls if you're a regular dude can't be done.
Do these guys have the willpower to go out consistently and slowly improve? Well, probably not right?.
So their RAS looks for reasons it's impossible -- whether it's focusing on how I suck (which even if that's the case how does it stop THEM from picking up girls?) or some vague cause-and-effect relationship they formed in their heads from seeing a few good looking guys get laid ,and assuming "well the little guy can't win then...meeeeh!"
Beyond that, their brain also say "Well if I can't get the LONG TERM benefits of learning this anyway, may as well give myself the SHORT TERM positive brain chemicals that come from feeling superior by....MAKING MY LITTLE COMMENT!!" :)
This is why hating on shit is so self destructive -- your brain has literally evaluated you as a dummy and decided it's better off to shift your RAS to focus on how you're so cool for "knowing the truth that this is bullshit" than actually implementing information that could massively help your life.
Have you ever had it where you broke up with a girl who you helped a lot in her life -- let's say you got her to eat healthy and get in kick ass shape -- and then she blows off everything you did to help her and decides you're this massive peice of shit?
A few months later she's fat and yet BLAMES YOU for being a dick who didn't care about her? Yet obviously you must have cared about her more than she cared about herself if she was hot with you and now suddenly fat, right? Well that's another example.
Her brain has detected she doesn't have the PFC activity to make her stick with it, and that she'd rather have the IMMEDIATE POSITIVE EMOTIONS of thinking you're an asshole so she doesn't have to feel sad.
So she "re-organizes you" in her head as the devil and sends you insane text messages about what an evil person you were, which blows your mind that someone you've done so much for has become angry at you.
But it's NOT HER FAULT. It's that her brain is doing this to her -- it's controlling her RAS to make her focus on what it perceives as most beneficial in the short term (saying "fuck that guy" makes it easier for her...), because she doesn't have the PFC activity to benefit in the long term from the positive experience you provided to her life.
It's a bummer, and yet both ex girlfriends and sometimes GUY friends will do this as well, because the mind is constantly controlling and re-directing your focus in ways that are hard to understand.
(I've spent years looking at this in myself as well -- and when I see it in others you know what I do? I sure as hell don't say "Fuck this person..." Rather I say "Oh HUMANS DO THIS, that must mean that I DO IT AS WELL because I AM A HUMAN... So where am I doing it and what can I learn from it and how can I improve?"
That's why what Eckhart Tolle says about "reclaiming consciousness from the mind" is so bang-on -- when you're stuck in your thoughts and fail to become present to the moment (rise above consciousness as he calls it), most people will succumb to this at various times.
Every day of my life I'm trying to become more grounded in the present moment with meditation, nutrition, exercise, but mostly just keeping a POSITIVE POINT OF VIEW. It's slow-going as fucking hell, but it also gradually improves. When you see someone after a year they've *always* either gotten better with this or worse. And after a few years the effects are really apparent and it makes you realize how important it is to make this a priority in your life.)
2) It doesn't actually matter to the girl whether you're some douchebag whose RAS has rationalized you're the shit, or that you "actually" are. As long as you have it straight in your head some way or other that you're entitled, she gets attracted because the confidence is the same.
The key however is that if you're one of those guys whose brain is so wired for "long term" that you can't rationalize it, you're going to have to play along and work on improving your life.
That said though, also be aware that this IS somewhat of a silly emotional game your brain is playing with you, and look at examples of losers and douchebags who get laid in spite of their lives being a total wreck.
**I remember my buddy Derrick always emphasizing it to me that "YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT STRAIGHT IN YOUR HEAD THAT THE GIRL SHOULD BE WITH *YOU*. HOW YOU DO THIS IS UP TO YOU, BUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IT'S GOTTA BE ALIGNED."
The truth is that it's all very subjective, right?
You could tell yourself you need to be this or that to get a girl, and whatever it is that you tell yourself, YOU'RE RIGHT!!
There are always guys who have less than you who still GIVE THEMSELVES PERMISSION to be entitled and believe that the girl should be WITH THEM.
So I always emphasize to guys who are actively improving themselves to give themselves a break, because the fact that they EVEN CARE AT ALL puts them head and shoulders above most douchebags who fuck the most girls.
Let me tell you from watching my GF's hot female friends that none of them can ever find a decent boyfriend, because the guy is either a provider-chode with no emotional relevance or a douchebag with nothing going on for himself. So the fact that you have a bit of BOTH is absolutely amazing and you should stop questioning yourself.
Regardless though, the LESS you think you need to be "entitled" with women, the better. That even goes as far as not needing to be in state, not needing to do a certain type of game, WHATEVER IT IS, THE MORE YOU CAN *REDUCE* YOUR CRITERIA OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ENTITLED, THE BETTER.
That's why you often hear "The fact I'm a guy and she's a girl means I'm enough..." or "The fact I have a dick means I have value..."
Obviously none of this really makes sense, and ignores a lot of other factors like that there's an abundance of willing DICKS around to stick in her, but if it works in the dude's head then that's fantastic!
Anyway just a few ideas to throw around and I hope it gets you thinking. I have a lot more to say on this topic, which will be one of the pillars of my self help stuff in the future, but obviously in massively more detail and implications to modern society. :)
Hope you enjoyed this though!
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btw speaking of "what it takes to feel entitled" ..... If you haven't seen this video I did with Alexander yet, ABSOLUTELY CLICK IT because I think it's really great.
I had a blast recording this with Alex.
Wanna know something crazy we observed though?
As we were recording there would be this constant stream of people just walking RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!
It was insane. And again it's that "RAS selective focus". People see something in their way and figure "Well it saves on time and energy to just walk right through it, and it's not MY FAULT these guys chose to record here..."
Then it makes their focus ignore that there's very obviously a video being shot and they walk right through.
To deal with this we created a wall of jackets and bags to make people walk around us. And it really made me realize why governments and whatnot have to create all these ridiculous incentive / disincentive systems for people to do the right thing -- because our brains just work the way they work.
Once we built the wall we decided that if anyone else walked through the shot we'd just use them for comedy in the video, but funny enough it seems that a RETARDED KID walked through!
And I didn't even notice until I read a comment that I stopped a retarded kid at 11 minutes, and I clicked it and sure enough I'm grabbing some retarded kid. Uhhhh, woops! :) Yet it makes it even more classic. :)
The other guy who walked through I think made an honest mistake, he was just out of it. So I guess that if once the wall was built it was just a retarded kid and someone who was out of it (like we all can be at times) it isn't that bad. All it took was a WALL to make people be nice.... That's it. :)
Seriously though, I hope you watched the video with Alex and also checked out his 2 hour manifesto. Because I spent 2 weeks with the guy and watched him get really phenomal results. He's DA MAN so be sure to check out his stuff!
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And aside from that, I've gotta run so I'm out!
Tons of life updates going on but I'll save them for another time! I'm having a blast though and things have been good!
Let me know your thoughts and experiences as far as "short term VS long term mating strategy" in your own life. How has it affected your emotions, focus, RAS, gameplan, entitlement, etc? I want to know!!
Beyond that, I was also absolutely destroyed in the Free Tour video as far as being on little sleep, but it made me more chilled out and laid back. Let me know how you found it -- I always appreciate feedback on this as I'm thinking LONG TERM. :)
I've been working all day to slam out the next several months worth of videos and have to wrap this one quick, but I wanted to maintain the streak of releasing frontpage content on Wednesday's.
So we'll keep this one short and to the point. But I think you'll love it.
Before cracking into it my upcoming LIFE CHANGING programs are...
May 17, 2012: Austin (taught with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta
June 14, 2012: Seattle
June 28, 2012: Philadelphia
July 12, 2012: Denver
August 2, 2012: Honolulu (taught with Julien)
If you're considering doing Austin in order to learn from both myself and Julien on Hot Seat or Bootcamp, I highly recommend it as it will be one of the rare times we teach together this year.
Here's a story from last weekend's Boston BC we did together which reveals a lot of what it's like...
These are programs we've put years of polish and effort into making value loaded powerhouses for you. If you're in Texas or feel like visiting Austin DO IT FOR SURE!
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Alright so today's video is super short.
It's on the topic of what to do if you're a hard case newbie.
What is a "hard case" newbie? It usually means you have one of the following issues.
1- Depression
2- Severely low self esteem
3- Ongoing low level (or high level) social anxiety
4- Betaness / meakness to the point no girl could view you sexually
5- Being so "stuck in your head" that you weird people out
Growing up I had ALL OF THESE to the point that it defined my life.
And there was one key understanding I had which allowed me to rise above all of it.
That's right. There was one single insight I "got" that 99% of other "hard cases" fail to understand, that made the difference between me going on to gain success where most others like me miserably failed.
CLICK THE VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO DISCOVER WHAT IT IS.........
Surprised that that was the secret? Admitting that you SUCK SHIT??
LOL well that's honestly what it was.
Today's hard case newbies are typically (not always, but typically) a spoiled bunch.
They read success stories from relatively "normal" guys and think they're going to gain similar success at a similarly fast rate.
They're not.
Being a hard case newbie is like being a hard gainer in the gym. If you start out at 110 pounds and think you're gonna get jacked easily, you're delusional. It's going to take a higher degree of effort and willingness to apply yourself to get the results that you want.
Is this a big deal? FUCK NO.
Frankly if you're a hard case newbie you should take this as a sign that you need to work hard at this for BIGGER REASONS than just getting laid. The fact that it's hard to put your dick in even an ugly girl should be the ""canary in the mineshaft" that you need to get it crackin' hard fucken core.
As a newbie I always expected absolutely nothing. So I was ALWAYS IN A GREAT EMOTIONAL STATE and fired up about every little cool result I ever got.
A short convo with a cute girl? I was psyched. A phone number that flaked? I was blown away I got any number at all!
I had a student in Vegas recently who had a hard time even so much as crossing from one side of a hallway to another. He was stuck in his head and submissive to the point that even walking was confusing for him. Then as far as opening conversations he'd be twitching from social anxiety as well.
He was getting down on himself as if he was expecting more.
I asked him: WHY??! WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT MORE?!?!
DID YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE THESE ISSUES AND JUST COME IN AND GET LAID??
He'd been on a BC a few years ago but gotten too busy to follow up. Irrelevent, this shit is a muscle, gotta keep going. He had fully regressed.
I persuaded him to admit he sucked and realize that every little progression is a victory. And to be HAPPY about it. He did a great job of following this and would report to me the small things that were going well in every set.
- Making out with random chicks in top Vegas clubs
- Trying Tylers ‘no talking’ approaches which led to me dry humping with a chick against a wall without saying a word to her
- Fingering a girl on the dance floor
- Pulling two sisters back to their hotel room and fucking one while her sister was laying right next to her "
Why did this happen for him?
Because he was no longer IN RESISTANCE to being a "hard case". He simply accepted it which allowed him to be excited about anything cool, and then BUILD UPON THAT SUCCESS.
Rather than sabotaging himself by being a CRY BABY who whinges and moans about why it's not getting instant results, he found happiness even in short convos and then built upon that success.
HE CHANGED HIS FOCUS.
So his emotions were building and building, instead of getting more and more frustrated at not being some super pimp, and eventually he became loose and cool like any NATURAL COOL GUY.
If you're a hard case newbie.....allow yourself to DO THE SAME!!
Anyway I'm out of here and I hope you enjoyed the short video and article. In the pipeline I have...
-Tyler and Alex vBlog outside the Washington Monument (40 mins long!)
-Phoenix Free Tour (finding your strengths)
-Vegas Free Tour (advanced ideas about stimulation and validation)
-Washington Free Tour (how yesterday's paradigm shift becomes today's gimmick)
-Boston Free Tour (Julien and myself up on stage at the same time talking massive shit -- hilarious!)
-Boston vBlog on how to grow up and come into your own
(They're all cut and ready to go. Simply gotta get them uploaded as they take like a day or so respectively, due to the resolution and size of the files.)
I'll also be shooting videos with Julien while he's here in Los Angeles and then a few more videos in Austin in 2 weeks. Which btw if you're in Austin I'll see you at the tour!
I just finished up a phenomenal program in Washington D.C. with Alexander~ and a hot new female wingman who looks like an anime character, and have just arrived in BOSTON where I'm crashing at Papa's house with Julien and Todd.
We just got back from a bomb breakfast of eggs and veggies and berries and tea in Harvard square, and I'm slamming this out before checking out a movie this afternoon.
If you're in BOSTON this is the rare time that I'm here, and I may never do a PUA related event here again (who knows?) so be sure to hit up the FREE TOUR! And if you're in one of the local pickup groups SPREAD THE WORD as well! It's this Thursday at 7PM and will feature myself and Julien and Alexander, so it's gonna be really really good.
The other events in the pipeline also promise to be outstanding so check out the dates in case one of them applies to you...
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta
June 14, 2012: Seattle
The two events with Julien will be the last Tyler/Julien programs for a long time, with the exception of the one we'll be doing in Honolulu over the summer. Austin has 2 BC slots left so definitely hit it up if you want to visit down there!
Hot Seat 2 has also been going absolutely amazing, and I'm happy to see that the intense value of this life changing event is starting to spread around and it's getting crazy popular. The crowds have just been getting bigger and bigger, and the event is just off the chains.
Anyway I've just been fully rocking it lately and loving the lifestyle of teaching while I still can, so hopefully if you want to do an event with me on the topic of picking up girls you'll get on board!
There's a lot I have to teach in my lifetime, but pickup is my first love and taking an event with me while I'm still going out 7 nights a week and teaching every other weekend is something you'll never forget! I'm sure I'll always teach it but right now it's literally the sole focus of my life, so I don't think the quality will ever be better than they are RIGHT NOW. This is the peak!
Okay so I've got a few ideas on my mind, but first up let's crack right into the latest video in the Free Tour series that I shot a month ago in San Francisco.
You may remember the intro from the "Truth About Success 2" video where I talked about how I was totally wrecked from a 2 month launch, followed by months of consecutive programs in Chicago, NY, Miami, and San Fran.
This was the FINAL program of that sequence, as I'd done 3 straight weeks of nonstop alumni BC's in Miami and had only 2 days at home before shooting to San Francisco for the final of the endless events.
I arrived in San Francisco on 90 minutes sleep and went right into it. I think I pushed it a bit over the edge on that one because I was experiencing "micro sleep" during the talk and would see little black dots in my eyes and start having 2 second dreams that I'd wake up from in the middle of the talk. Jeff had to sit behind me and get me back on track as I'd meander into various nonsense.
Luckily Jeff did most of the Free Tour himself which kept it going really well, and there was definitely some interesting content in my talk as well.
Even better though? In my haze I tend to be pretty loopy. So when someone asked me what "techniques" I could teach them about how to internalize the concepts I was talking about, I shared with them the most powerful secret technique I've ever developed.
THE RISING PHOENIX!
This is a technique so powerful that it allows you NOT to have to go out all the time and make gradual progress to build a base of experience and get good results. Instead you just do this one secret that I've been holding back from you and get to SKIP all that silly bullshit, and go straight to the POT OF GOLD!
You probably always intuitively knew this, but the REAL way that all the guys who get great results with girls did it was by stumbling onto this technique that "they" don't want you to know about. Then they blab on and on about how you have to "put in the time" and "be patient" while THEY are getting all the sex with cute girls for themselves by knowing this secret trick.
Intrigued?
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO LEARN ABOUT "FRIENDLY AND COOL" METHOD AND HOW TO USE THE RISING PHOENIX TECHNIQUE TO IMMEDIATELY GET RESULTS AND SKIP ALL THE NONSENSE OF GRADUAL CHANGE...
So yeah, I tried to keep that one hidden but just couldn't keep the secret any longer.
My fav part about the video is actually how my face turns BEAT RED as I'm squat down, because I'm speaking too long without taking a breathe.
I threw myself to the ground because as I jumped up I started seeing more black dots on my eyes and realized I was going to faint from lack of oxygene, so figured I'd make it more dramatic by passing out as the rising phoenix transformed me into a super pimp. :)
(Seriously it was weird though. I was so into it that I ran out of breathe as I was speaking, and didn't want to break the energy by pausing to take a breathe. So in the moment I chose to lie down so the blood could return to my head, then I got back up quickly and kept talking even though I couldn't remember what I was saying anymore. Fun stuff!)
LOL anyway the video is off the wall but I put these out because I like to keep track of all my speaking over the years, so it's more a ledger of how I progressed to become the guy I'll be in the future than anything else. I want people to see all the different silly bullshit I played around with on the way to the top -- Julien's recent video where he summons the ghost of Tony Robbins into his body is the same. :)
Basically we're just screwing around. :)
Then YOU get to enjoy it as well, and the overdramatized points help sink them into your brain.
As an interesting sidenote, thank God my sleep god to improve after that crazy series of events.
Sometimes people read about me foregoing sleep in order to get things done and think they should get used to operating on low sleep as well. Good intentions there, but DUMB IDEA!
I always aim for a good 8 hours of solid sleep in a dark room whenever I can. Sleep makes you work better and more efficiently, oftentimes SAVING you the hours that would have gained if you worked on less.
It's similar to the gym or meditation where the time you invest in them you wind up getting back in increased abilities and efficiency.
The reason I sometimes go on low sleep is I'm a young go-getter who is UNDER THE GUN to deliver specific results and improve fast so I can do big things. I walk a tight-rope and even the slightest misuse of time can cause massive ripples of chaos into my life. Whenever that happens, I'm forced to give up SOMETHING in order to make up the time I've lost, and that's oftentimes sleep.
I fucking hate being on low sleep, but being forced into it over the past few years has also taught me that I'm capable of literally anything and that your willpower can carry you to any extreme.
When I think of all the Hot Seat events I did over the past 2 years where I'd been running Bootcamps until 7AM, then woke up at 10AM to setup the room for Hot Seat, and then would be sitting in the back shaking and convulsing as the videos played between my commentary.....DAMN!
It was pretty shitty, but it taught me to just stay present to it and never let anyone see. Nobody can ever tell if I'm well slept or not because my view is that if I had a gun to my head I'd be able to get the job done, so there's no reason I can't do it now.
Sounds messed up, but it's not something that's SUSTAINABLE. Just something that a lot of young people have to master on their way to the top. I view my ability to do this IF I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE as a building block in my foundation of confidence more than any lifestyle I'd want to sustain.
(That would suck!)
I compensate for the lack of sleep by eating a LITERALLY perfect diet along with meditation and extensive supplementation. As a result I never (as in never...) get sick if I'm strict to this routine.
It's cool to learn all this while I'm young and it won't give me cancer or kill me. There's no way I'd do it past 35 as that would not be good for my health at all.
So hopefully this clears up any questions anyone had about that!
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Anyway it's always interesting to wrap up a crazy launch and tour like that one.
Of course I'm STILL on an extensive tour, having just finished DC and being in Boston right now, and then off to Austin Texas shortly thereafter. But at least it's manageable and I can take the time out to enjoy breakfast or go watch a movie.
What I really learned from it though is "this too shall pass..."
You can be in the middle of basically anything and feel at ease in the knowledge that it's just temporary.
The same goes for sex with a girl who turns you on. You're intimate with her and it's good, but you know it's going to end. Good or bad -- EVERTHING is going to end someday -- and that day is coming very soon.
So just take it for what it is.
Life is a mystery for you to unravel and everything you experience is teaching you something. Where it's leading you? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS??
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Aside from that I've got some great projects for RSD on the go.
The newbie website is one of them. Getting the DVDs put onto streaming video is another, which will allow us to create new video programs from guys like Alex and Brad and Julien who have expressed a lot of interest in doing so. We've also got RSDUnderground about to come out now that our programmer is back to work!
Then I'm working on a cheap newbie product that includes an ebook and recurring videos, which we can offer to the big affiliates who want to work with us (if you're a big affiliate PM me and we can talk...). I expect it to be pretty popular as I've had a lot of comments from big affiliate marketers that they wish RSD would create something like this so they could earn money on something they believe in, as opposed to whatever nonsense happens to convert.
I'm also doing up a new homepage for www.realsocialdynamics.com (it was pretty cool....6 years ago!) and an update of this RSDN frontpage so that we can make space for the higher volume of new articles. And I want to create a proper set of Bootcamp infomercial type vids like I did for Hot Seat as well.
Lastly I want to keep hammering away at improving my game with the end goal of recording more infield footage for future Hot Seats (even if I'm not teaching them) and do up a final advanced pickup related program (but not until I have the newbie stuff hammered out, since I don't need more newbies getting all confused that it's the "missing peice").
All this should keep me busy for a good 18 months, between running all the programs and keeping the front page full and going out 7 nights a week and being a dad. So I've got a lot going on!
Hopefully you've got a lot that's keeping you engaged as well!
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Woop! So I'm out of here. Hope you enjoyed the videos and I'll see you soon!
Let me know what you thought about the idea of "FRIENDLY AND COOL" in pickup, and how you've applied it in your own life. I want to know!
I'll be back in a week with a LOOOONG video on identifying your strengths in pickup and honing in on them. It's gonna be good!
Julien was gonna hit up a new article today but he just wrapped his big series of events in London (his first time in the biggest Euro city for RSD) so I figured I'd wake up early and crack something up for you to give the guy a break.
(He'll be back with new content within the week...)
That being the case, I've got another video from the Miami Free Tour you saw last week, which is a brand new topic. We'll get to that in a sec, but in case you didn't know, my upcoming program dates are the following...:
April 26, 2012: Washington DC (with Alexander)
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta (with Alexander)
June 14, 2012: Seattle (with Alexander)
(You can also hit up the team any time at 1-888-546-7286)
The Washington DC Free Tour is THIS THURSDAY so if you're in the area, GET ON IT!
My Bootcamp in DC is full but there's space on the Hot Seat, which I highly recommend, and there's also one remaining spot on the Boston Bootcamp as well.
Julien will also be teaching with me in Austin so if you're in Texas I couldn't recommend that program highly enough, and urge you to get on it!
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So last week's video was pretty intense I guess. :)
Thanks so much for all the feedback on that, and it confirms once again that it was a good idea to put it out.
You really can't imagine what's coming in the next 10 years on those topics, which I know is going to be insane. I'm a pretty creative fellow and the content I have in my mind is (and that I've applied successfully) is the best I've personally seen.
With the momentum I've built as far as work ethic and execution goes, things should get pretty interesting. :)
As I mentioned in the first "Truth About Success" video I've always viewed RSD as "preparation for the big show" -- basically this amazing opportunity I have to cultivate my abilities in my youth so that I can hit the ground running when the time comes.
(The added street cred of building a business and lifestyle doesn't exactly hurt either...)
I also think people will be surprised how I spin what would typically be perceived as negatives into positives (or at least attention grabbers), as far as my involvement in PUA goes. It'll take time and won't happen over night. But I have a strong eye for coming trends and know exactly what to do.
The core lessons that I learn while both building my game and running RSD are what will comprise the content. This is why I push myself, so that I can enjoy both successes and mistakes, and then build a base of knowledge for what it takes to step up and live life on the edge.
In the meantime I believe in putting all your eggs in one basket and guarding it really fucking closely, so we'll get back to the core topic of Real Social Dynamics which is how to pick up hot girls and have sex with them.
And one distinction I've found to be EXTREMELY valuable in this fine pursuit has been the difference between holding a girls' attention with entertainment VS your core presence as a man.
This is huge huge huge. Fucking huge. A massive difference between the lonely newbie and the oversexed seasoned veteran, so make sure you take it on board!
I'll crack into the video right now and then discuss...
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO SEE THE SECRET OF HOLDING WOMEN WITH THE ENERGY YOU PUT IN HER FACE AS OPPOSED TO DELIBERATELY HOLDING HER ATTENTION...
Interesting stuff huh? :)
Let me also add a past video that may not have seen yet, that covered a similar topic and will help hammer all this home. It's from about a year ago and on the topic of "Attracting women by doing LESS..."
Also very important stuff!
Okay so as you saw in the first video, I also tried to mention a few key distinctions here...
1) Just because you don't need to attract with entertainment, DO NOT GET HUNG UP ON THIS!
In other words, you bet your ass that if I sense I need to entertain a girl I'm interested in to grab her attention away from the distracting environment, I'M GOING TO FUCKING DO IT!
There is no harm in entertaining the girl, and it's stupid not to be ENGAGING out of some ego that you're above putting in any effort.
It's just that you can ALSO oftentimes attract women by doing very little, and when this is a possibility, GO FOR IT! :)
The point is to understand how it works, why it's a self fulfilling prophecy, and the core energy that you have as a man that attracts girls.
2) There is no method that always works.
You can be fully settled into your core as a man, and still many girls will blow you off. You will always have girls reject or ignore you at times, the point is to habituate yourself to a zone that's really good.
What newbies have a hard time getting is that EVERYONE gets blown out, so a rejection is no indication that you did anything wrong.
On the other hand it might be. :)
So you learn the fundamentals of success with women, and from there you can judge where you're going right or wrong.
3) It's hard to attract women by doing less if you're new to it, and it often becomes "gimmicky" instead of real.
That being the case just try it when you feel it. No need to force the issue. Whatever.
Expect that as a newbie most of what you do sucks. Expect that you're going to be a try-hard lamo and get rejected by girls. It still happens to me ALL THE TIME.
(And yes, it also happens to every pickup teacher who ACTUALLY goes out and doesn't just write about stuff from "back in the day" or with a biased memory of his results.)
The point is if you presevere, you also pull super gorgeous women, sleep with them, date them, and get them into relationships. And then YOU change as you're doing it. So it's worth all the tears and whatnot. :)
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Here's some music I'm listening to as I write this...
Anyway I've been out 7 nights a week for a looooong time lately, and it's crazy how much I've been gaining from it.
There's so many lessons I have on deck as far as this goes, and really I'm just enjoying doing this WHILE I STILL CAN.
The lifestyle is pretty insane and justifying the endless travel and bizarre lifestyle it to my family isn't easy. But I've commited to continue going out and gaining insights for the next little while so enjoy them while they're still rolling out.
My understanding has gotten to be pretty advanced and my goal within the coming year is to release both a lot of free newbie content as well as a proper ebook and video series on the fundamentals, as well as one last advanced program on pickup and hopefully record some more of myself infield.
I think more than anything, the commitment to becoming awesome at pickup has just forced me to step it up in so many areas. Particularly how much it's forced me to be consistent in meditation and gym and overall time management have probably been my favorite of all.
(The meditation is so key. It's one of those things you keep hearing about forever and ignore it cause it seems to weird, but when you finally do it it's like "HOLY FUCK HOW WAS I NOT DOING THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE?? WHAT A WASTE!!" Especially after the first month as you become a full on gangster with women and your results fucking explode.)
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I'd say that the key has been a commitment to the game above all else. Making it my biggest love and passion. It's become everything to me.
No matter what fucked up challenges come my way, or what bullshit gets rubbed in my face, the game is always there for me. As long as I have the game, everything will be okay.
As you grow and expand your ROOTS must grow deeper into the ground to hold you afloat. The game is my roots. As I expand and things get more hectic, it's the game (and meditation) that normalize my life and re-ground me in doing what I love.
The game for me is an active meditation essentially. Yes I'm one of those high sex drive guys who loves jerking off and fucking girls as much as possible, and I like sexual variety as much as any guy, but what I get out of it is much deeper than that.
The endless dynamic scenarios that are rubbed in my face again and again, forcing me to get out of my head and respond. I love how people on Bootcamps are wow'ed at my execution of the process, my balls to throw myself into crazy situations, and my lightening reflexes to everything that comes up.
It's the ultimate rush for me. I just keep pushing and pushing the envelope. I do it just to do it. There's no point to any of it, I'm going to die anyway. My social circle in LA is to the point I'd never have to cold approach to get laid again. But I do it just to do it. There's nothing else I could do than the game. I feel that this is what I'm born to do and loving every step of the way.
Every night I go out, I feel like I'm honoring what I'm put on the planet to do. The good and the bad, it's totally irrelevent to me. I love every night. I feel blessed to have a bad night. I feel blessed to have ANY NIGHT AT ALL.
I know that the time I put into the game, the game pays me back ten fold. You give your time to the game first, expect nothing, and be grateful that you're even BLESSED to be allowed to know about it and play it at all. Keep pushing. Trust the process. Then it pays you back.
And OH MY FUCKING GOD does it pay you back!
The lifestyle? Insane. It's one of the few things in life that OVER DELIVERS.
But most people lack the mental toughness and tenacity to stick in it. They're weak and give up and look for excuses that something like this could NEVER help their confidence or social skills or get them laid! :)
That's all good. Not everyone in the world gets to wear the big boy pants. Maybe the world even needs whiners and self pity to make it go round, who are we to judge? :)
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(More random music by the same guy...)
But yeah, I think I reached a point where "stimulation" no longer has much meaning to me.
I've had so much stimulation, which is basically what the modern economy sells you as entertainment and whatnot.
I know I'm dying. For some reason my brain sees "cause and effect" really clearly, which is also why it's easy for me to work hard or take care of my body since I see the most likely long term results of most decisions as I make them in real time.
At 32 I've spent a lifetime of watching people so locked up in their petty concerns and emotional addictions. IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT SOFT COTTAGE CHEESE. And you poke the cheese and the cheese starts talking to you like "Stop poking meeee!!!"
I've watched myself get all butt hurt and spun out over my petty little life, I barely give a fuck about it anymore. Repetitive. Boring. Too soft.
Like the same damned movie over and over again. So and so is pissed he doesn't have a girl, or no money, or people don't respect him. He wants this and that. Blah blah.
Maybe "so and so" is ME. Or maybe someone else is the star of the movie, playing the complaining cottage cheese. We're all these little creatures, caught up in ourselves and petty wants and needs.
There's nothing wrong with that, and pursuing your selfish interests is typically what PRODUCES THE VALUE that empowers other people. I would personally never ask anyone to do ANYTHING for me that I can't show them would benefit them personally either immediately or in the long term....EVER.
(And anyone who asks for a hand out is an idiot...If you want something, produce the value and get it.)
But living from the paradigm of petty concerns is just boring after a while. It's like groundhog day. There's something just base level and pathetic about it, that I have a hard time really putting into words. When I think about it I feel nauseous, like a blurry fucked up trance I can't wake up from.
I have dreams about it constantly. Weird dreams where I see people's petty concerns, my own concerns, like this endless wheel of bullshit. And then the tethers of reality start breaking away, all the emotional anchours that make the experience seem so real to everyone dissolving, and I'm able to fully let go.
....and from that foundation, I can finally make decisions and take actions based on something real.
Every time I make the right decisions in my life, I feel like I'm waking up. Shifting power away from autopilot conditioning and into "conscious will". It's not always easy. Sometimes it feels like nails against a chalkboard to force yourself to step up. But it's the nature of growth and worth it a thousand fold.
What I ask for is the strength and moral willpower to do the right thing. I wake up every day and view it as a battle against my lower nature to make the right choices. I love the feeling of my conscious willpower expanding, my ability to be at the cause and not the effect continuing to grow.
If I had one wish it would be strength to do the right thing. The game is what I'm here to do right now, because that builds the value that I offer to others. It's what I'm doing NOW. Whaever I'm doing later is what I'm doing later. I focus on what's in front of me, and have faith that what I'm learning is laying the platform for whatever is to come.
Good or bad, I know I'm having the experiences that I'm meant to have. So I love them all.
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Okay so with this article cranked out I can catch a few more hours of sleep, but hope you enjoyed it on this fine Monday morning!
For some reason I always feel like that Monday article is the most important for the front page of RSDN, to start the week off right.
I've got the Pheonix and Vegas Free Tour videos already recorded, and I think they have some pretty good stuff in them that you'll love. They're on the topics of specializing yourself into your niche and the all pervasive force of validation in human interactions. Stay tuned for that.
We're also getting more articles in from Julien, Brad, and Alex, so I may be expanding the frontpage to include 3 rows or 4 articles or something like that in order to make space. Our main programmer who I worked with to create this site has just come to work after losing his mother to cancer (he's been through a lot), but on the positive side there should be some cool improvements in the next while.
Let me know what you thought of the video and article! I read and appreciate all feedback on these!D
Have fun, thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon!
I've just returned from the epic Vegas events, which of course were completely insane.
Got into all sorts of trouble -- from getting it on with girls to fist fights to eating in bomb ass restaursnts to students getting laid -- all par for the course for a weekend in motherfucken Vegas.
I've got a brand new 2 hour video for you today: The Truth About Success 2.
We'll get into that in a second, but I also wanted to mention that I have programs coming up in the following cities.
April 26, 2012: Washington DC (with Alexander)
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta (with Alexander)
June 14, 2012: Seattle (with Alexander)
The Washington DC Bootcamp is full but the Free Tour and Hot Seat are good to go. The rest of the cities still have space on Bootcamp as well.
As a sidenote I always bump into guys in different cities in the clubs and they're like "HOLY FUCKEN SHIT TYLER YOU'RE HERE!!" and I'll say "Uhh yeah man I did a free event earlier today, you should've come out..."
And they'll say "Well yeah but I know sales, that's like the sales pitch one right?" And NO it's not the fucking sales pitch WTF??!!
As of right now and the foreseeable future, at RSD we don't do "hard sales". I realize that people love what we do and it's not necessary because people will wind up taking programs eventually anyway. I'll mention the programs for about 5 minutes out of a 3 hour event, so it's fully reasonable and legit.
It's actually a less effective approach for us to hard sell as of now (maybe if the movie "The Game" came out and we had tons of dabblers in the room, but not right now...) because we have so much free content online that if someone doesn't want to do a program with us now, a kick ass event will make them want to check out the content and want to take a program later.
So hell yes you should attend the Free Tour, it's absolutely ridiculous to miss it as it's a kick ass FREE event. Many guys drive in a few hours for it and are always totally psyched.
Again check out www.rsdfreetour.com and see if your city is on the list! Do it now while it's hot on your mind!
The other "no brainer" is the Hot Seat because with the current bonus day format (which won't be around much longer) it's over the top loaded with lifechanging value that has years of work put into it, while being weirdly inexpensive.
It's at www.rsdhotseat.com so take a quick look at the site and see if this is something you think will change your game. Someday these won't be being run and you'll be sad you failed to pull the trigger on it. Whereas conversely you can do this NOW and enjoy the benefits, and be part of something very cool.
Anyway let's get on to today's video, I wanted to chastise any dabblers a bit after having quite a few people bump into me in Vegas who missed out, while simultaneously being into the game and I see them getting half assed results with girls in the club. You can ALWAYS be doing better. I'll see you at the events!
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So we're cracking into the new 2 hour video, which is the follow up to the original "Truth About Success" clip from a few months back.
The backstory is this...
A few months ago I was doing the Hot Seat bonus day and someone asked me about success. I was so underslept that I blurted out a lot of ideas I personally thought were too intense for the PUA community, since frankly most people are delusional about how success works and if you don't ease them into it gradually they freak oiut.
I'm a full on gangster and basically willing to go full on to whatever I apply myself to. This is a personal standard that I've had for years and I view people who don't have this as weak willed and basically "failure examples" of what I don't want to become. Any excuse for not achieving what you want out of life I view as a joke.
There's areas in my life that I want to half ass because I'm not overly interested, but I know I'm going to dominate in the areas I focus on because this is what I believe I was put on the earth to do. That being the case I think about success, dream about success, and breath success 24 hours a day.
My only breaks are deliberate and pre-planned. They include having sex with hot women, getting into the outdoors, eating good food, and spending time with family and friends. Other than that I believe I have a limited time to accomplish my life mission and would sacrifice anything to see it complete.
I think what most people think will make them succeed is bizarre and ridiculous. I know what it takes and in the original "Truth About Success" video made it pretty clear.
Anyway it turned out people were into it, so a few months later after the Hot Seat 2 launch I was in the mood to go on further bizarre rants, and got into the topic of success at both the NYC and Miami Free Tours.
I find that whatever I'm feeling at the time, I like to talk about at the events. If I'm in a good mood I talk about fun stuff, if I'm clowning around I make the video hilarious, and if I'm overworked I like to bitch about how people are pussies for not working enough and go on maniacal rants. :)
There's different sides to everyone, and I have a well cultivated "Get it fucking done..." side to my personality that comes out when it needs to. It has it's own sets of beliefs that don't necessarily reflect how I feel about life when I'm more balanced, but it works to get the damned job complete.
While recording this video I was still "in" that personality from the months it took me to prepare the launch for the Hot Seat 2.
Incidentally I still feel that i haven't physically and mentally recovered from that launch. My adreneline is still on slight perma-trickle because I pushed it past the limit, and I'll likely need to spend a few days looking at a wall and doing nothing to turn it off. I sort of screwed up there, but at least I've learned where the limit is, and it's going to challenge me to learn new tricks to control that aspect of my health.
Since the launch my game hasn't been quite as good, except for a few furious nights where I raged through the most epic nights of my life. I've had a bunch of *ahem* successes but they've been by raw willpower alone since nothing will stop me if I put my head into it. But it was getting smoother and smoother for a while there, both with speaking and with game, and I think I'll need to relax more to get back into that zone.
Alright so without further rambling we'll get into it here...
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO WATCH "THE TRUTH ABOUT SUCCESS 2" AND SEE ME FULLY GO OFF FOR SEVERAL HOURS ON THE TOPIC OF HOW TO BE A CHAMP...
So hopefully you got a lot of value out of this...
There was a question in the Youtube comments that asked if work avoidance could be classified as "seeking adventure" as opposed to being lazy. I'd say that if someone comes up with a way to achieve passive income and uses that time to go out and do cool shit like travel, then hell yeah it's a good idea.
It's just that you do this for periods of time, then get back to work. Don't assume the system you build is going to provide passive income for life because things change and you'll be left a diminished work ethic and an inability to get something new going to sustain yourself.
Oh yeah, and here's the first video in case you didn't see it btw...
Interestingly, the self help company I have planned won't explain success like this.
I'd build on a proper set of explainations before going into this sort of thing. I have it all planned out in my head and keep building on it every day.
Just cracking into ideas like this is fun for the RSD list, but not something I'd to relate to someone who isn't familiar. It's all about explaining ideas at someone's paradigm, and then building on their understandings as to why something is worth their time to learn.
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Anyway I've always believed that I had a higher purpose for as long as I remember, even at 3 years old. I remember seeing those old tv commercials of little foreign kids starving to death, or seeing poverty or people who weren't mentally well, and not understanding why people didn't make it their full time job to change all of that.
My problem was that my mind was overly suseptible to taking on the pain of my environment, so I was overly infected with negative energy to the point I couldn't really experience happiness. This strengthened my resolve to grow into an adult who would have a positive influence and that became my criteria for success in my life.
Over time I learned that to have any influence you have to FIRST "make yourself strong". There is no making others strong before you do so yourself, and you have to embody the change you with to see outside of yourself. This is why I knew I had to become better than I was.
I have never believed that humans are powerless, and in fact I think humans have a ton of power to create change. I believe that if you have good intentions that you transcend the limitations that seem to be placed upon you and become something more than you appear.
My brain has never been interested in the diversions that most people find entertaining, beyond little formalities to build rapport with people who I work with to get things done. I've always believed in seeing what needs to be done and fucking doing it, zero excuses.
I don't believe that anyone can tell me the nature of life or the universe, and that ultimately we all live with this mystery. But I DO believe that we can observe laws of cause and effect in life, and that if we align ourselves with the actions that we're put here to do that we benefit tremendously.
This is what I foresee human beings having to do in the future as the world becomes more complex, and I'm not sure what's possible but if I die knowing that I tried my best I'd have a smile on my face. I've been given a lot in my life and I really couldn't ask for anything more, so anything I get at this point is a bonus. I just want to become amazing at what I do and embody the values that I care about, that's about it.
Maybe it's from seeing people whine and cry themselves to sleep ove their petty problems, I just got so sick of seeing people suffer from their own self absorption.
Make yourself strong. Do this relentlessly. Then expand your circle of concerns. All of your problems will seemingly go away. You'll be out of the "trance" that you're in right now, and experience life to a richer degree.
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I also really loved this Kobe Bryant video I found recently, which is loaded with all sorts of emotional button pushing for guys, such as Kobe talking about blowing through the wall and various yelling from the movie "300".
I thought it would be funny to put in here as well...
It's hard for me to imagine the Lakers winning the championship this year, with the intense competition, but I think next year if they make some better bench acquisitions they could have a decent chance.
But you never know. If Kobe did it this year with his current team, it would be totally insane.
Hope you enjoyed that one as well. And for good measure, I'll throw in another great video on the topic of travelling from scarcity to abundance -- ie: "making yourself strong".
Okay so that's enough videos, but hopefully it makes the point. :)
Just woke up on this fine Wednesday morning. Sort of groggy. Been catching up on some sleep.
Phoenix this past weekend was............FUCKING AWESOME.
The snobby suburb in Phoenix is called "Scottsdale" and it is the absolute shit for what we do. Was up in Mint and Scottsdale W which were both teaming with stunners, then cranking prime rib at the Scottsdale Saddle Ranch every day and did a bit of shopping during my time off.
I also recorded a video overlooking Scottsdale which you'll see below -- if you like the desert, the view is really good. In the meantime I also thought I'd mention that I have programs coming up with Alexander~ and Julien that are coming up in April and May.
This is a pretty rare opportunity for USA people to learn from both Alex and myself at the same event, as Alex hasn't done programs in the USA in several years and won't be doing them again here any time soon. And obviously having Julien on board for Boston and Austin will also be the shit.
The upcoming dates are the following, and I've listed my co-instructors beside them as well...
April 12, 2012: Las Vegas (with Alexander~)
April 26, 2012: Washington DC (with Alexander~)
May 3, 2012: Boston (with Julien)
May 17, 2012: Austin (with Julien)
May 31, 2012: Atlanta (with Alexander~)
Whether you're interested in the Free Tour, Hot Seat, or Bootcamp, you can click on the following links...
You can probably guess that this will be my last big tour for a while, so if you want to do these events with me personally and take advantage of having Alexander and Julien on board as well, NOW IS THE TIME!
These are programs are YOU. They're built to get YOU to YOUR GOALS. Think about what you're trying to accomplish, and what vision you have for yourself, and if you think we can help them get on the damned train.
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Alright so I'm actually about to run out the door to catch the Lakers game, so we'll make this quick.
I've seen a lot of confusion over the issue of how to approach "learning to pickup girls" from the angle of...
1- Should you just approach, approach, approach?
2- How do you replicate this during the day? Or "build momentum" during the day?
3- Is it better to go out with friends and meet girls in a more natural way? Is just gunning the approaches somewhat "forced"?
Etc etc...
These are all good questions. Here's the answer!
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO SEE ME 2 DAYS AGO UP IN PHOENIX, REVEALING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE GAME FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP :)
Okay so as you can see I haven't offered a "simple answer" to this one, but rather just tried to explain the ins and outs.
Basically I think that success in the game comes down to that clarity of intent -- where your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned...
As as well the accumulation of positive emotions in your body -- where as the day or night progresses, you're just having more and more fun that transfers onto the girls.
You may remember Tim's "Flawless Natural" program where he calls this "Intent + Woo" which is a great way of explaining it.
(Tim has a great new blog on the topic of "Freedom Businesses" btw over at www.freedombusinessblog.com -- check it out! He'll be at World Summit 2012 this year in Vegas as well!)
So in my case I spent the past 2 years really hammering on that clarity of intent aspect.
For me this was important because as I shed my final remnants of the more indirect approach style, it was difficult to wrap my head around the idea of approaching dead-on and creating attraction through intent as opposed to playing hard to get.
(Both are awesome approaches btw, but I prefer attracting via intent because I don't have the whole issue of LMR once the girl gets validated when I escalate. Also I just found it that it grounded me in a more masculine energy -- since I'm kinda dainty as it is -- as opposed to playing hard to get like a chick. Again though both can be really good, it's just personal preference based on my goals.)
Anyway it took a few years of going out constantly to get to a point where it expended nearly zero "willpower" to do even the scariest of approaches. I'm to the point where it's probably easier to approach than not to, at least most of the time.
From there though I've tried to turn my attention more towards the "accumulation of positive emotions" in my body when I go out.
I feel that this is equally important, and I haven't given it as much attention in the past.
Realistically I was just building positive emotions by approaching a lot, which as I got better and better I found that it gave me positive emotions anyway. And obviously when you're chatting with girls you get positive emotions from it, and also as they rub up against you or you get a few easy makeouts and whatnot.
But more recently I've tried to make it equally important to create processes of building positive emotions, because I've found that if I can just approach and be fully "self amused" that the girls will feel that I don't need them and become immediately attracted and chase me like crazy.
You can probably guess that I've known ALL of this for a while -- like probably 5 years easily -- but the game is really learned in cycles where you learn and RE-learn lessons over and over....AT DEEPER LEVELS.
So even though I've known that self amusement is important for a long time, I've spent the past few years just hammering and hammering on my "momentum building" processes, and gotten them down to the point that I'm basically the envy of the community in terms of that one particular aspect of my game.
Like I get phone calls from the crew and my natural buddies all the time asking me about it, just cause I have this one area down really fucking well. I especialy get a lot of question about it from buddies quitting alcohol for pickup, as well entrepreneurs and busy professionals who get stuck in their heads -- but I just get tons of questions about it in general.
(As a sidenote, here's the 2 videos I recommend for guys who want to learn this from me, if you haven't seen them...)
...and
From there though I look at guys like Alexander~ who have the self amusement aspect down so well, and you see it integrated into their personalities in terms of how they live their day to day life -- it's really amazing.
Like look at the way this guy goes through life, it's fucken crazy, I'm very psyched to be teaching with him for the next few events.....
So if you look at me personally, my strength is obviously in "execution". I'm good at getting shit done, knowing what's the right course of action and walking it, etc.
But my sticking point is I've often done so at the EXPENSE of positive emotions, since I'm strong headed and will just do whatever it takes.
Now that I've reached a point where I've nearly maxed that out however, my instinct to "do the right thing" tells me it's time to focus more on building those processes of accumulating positive emotions.
Not to say I'm not doing it really well already. It's been like a 500% improvement over the past 2 years.
But the execution of intent aspect has been like a fucken 10,000% improvement, so I desperately need to catch this up. :)
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As a sidenote, I also wanted to mention that I've only come at the issue of "willpower" from ONE angle in this video and article.
But actually aside from just building up the willpower muscles in your brain in general, the other angle is impoving your SELF CONCEPT and INNER GAME.
Because obviously if you feel really good about yourself, and that the girl is benefitting from her meeting you, it requires a lot less "willpower burn" to make yourself do an approach.
So you realistically can come at this challenge from multiple angles, and I've just covered one of them here. It's a different topic than is mentioned here, but thought I'd reference it as well just so any newbies reading this realize there's many angles of attack to make improvements at this.
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Anyway that's a lil bit about what I've been up to, and obviously you would have YOUR OWN areas that you need to improve in.
If you're a newbie, then it's ALL of them! :)
And if you've been in this a while, then like me, you'll probably keep coming back to the same principles in cycles over and over, getting closer and closer to the CORE of what will make you the best you can be.
Wish I had time to write a lil more here, but I'm shooting out of so I'll see you soon. Obviously with anything you get here, IMPLEMENT IMMEDIATELY!
Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! Have fun!
Hey there so it’s a nice 9AM here in Los Angeles – I’ve just got home from 3 weeks in Miami and a weekend in Las Vegas. I’ve been up all night as the day was busy preparing Julien to leave Los Angeles PERMANENTELY for his big Hot Seat 2 world tour!
San Francisco Free Tour, Hot Seat 2, and Bootcamp are this Thursday to Saturday! Psyched to get over there and see the crew, run some killer programs, and rip carnage through the city.
Do you live in Northern California? GET YOUR ASS OUT TO THE SAN FRANCISCO EVENTS!
There’s space on all of them as I haven’t been promoting programs all month, so if you want to do an event with me and you’re in NorCal this would be the ideal weekend to get on board.
My next few events are in…
San Francisco: March 15 - 17
Phoenix: March 29 - 31
Las Vegas: April 12 - 14
Washington DC: April 26 - 28
Boston: May 3 - 5
Alright so you probably noticed the frontpage being a lil bare this past week or two, and it’s because our guy who typically takes care of it has been dealing with a family tragedy. I was concurrently travelling so that made it difficult to get on top of someone else to do it.
Regardless I should’ve found a way to get it done.
The last few months (since last December) have been somewhat of a blur. The Hot Seat 2 launch ran around 16 – 20 hour days through January, then I was hitting up the East Coast tour and non stop Miami 5 day a week programs since then.
I’ve got 2 days off in Los Angeles to spend with my children, and then I’ll be off to San Francisco this weekend. After that?? TEN DAYS OFF!!
I’m not really sure what I’ll do with myself during that time. Most likely it just means I’ll work 8 hour days, which is really the same thing as a day off. Maybe I’ll shoot into Malibu to do a few hikes and check out a few Lakers games. I’ve also been thinking of checking out that new Blu Ray of the show “Game of Thrones” as I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about it.
The main purpose of time off is ultimately to get your brain working properly again, and get your body tuned up. I don’t like how I’ve had that low level adrenaline and cortisol flow in my bloodstream the past few months so I need to make sure I take advantage of the time off and get back into equilibrium.
In the meantime I’ve got a new video for you today.
If you like the Free Tour video series you’ve probably been in a bit of withdrawal after the big blitz the past months, and suddenly the drought has been in effect.
Well today’s Free Tour vid is pretty fucken sweet, as I experimented with lacing it up with infield footage bursts.
I’m not sure if this will be another case like that street game pull video, where the tiny burst format just pisses people off and gets them all angry and demanding for full Hot Seat videos posted online (uhhh, yeah sorry). But I wanted to experiment with it to see how you liked it, because I was thinking of making the upcoming newbie website like this where I just burst – burst – burst throughout the seminar so that people get that vibe of how fucken crazy this shit is.
(It's also a very field report focused video, which is unusual for me, so I thought it would be cool to have these lil bursts sort of alluding to the fun of the field...)
The video is on the topic of DAY GAME and begins with me teasing students who always ask me about the differences between picking up girls in the night versus the day.
Funny enough, after I shot the video I realized that some of my buddies in the PUA industry actually teach daygame programs. I don’t really follow what other pickup companies do as I’m too in my own little bubble, and I was referring more to guys that were popular in like 2003 and would rip on nightgame because the girls they met in the day were supposedly “classier”.
(So if you’re one of my buddies in the industry who teaches daygame, no I haven’t had some weird grudge the entire time, I just forgot!)
Regardless it’s pretty fucken funny as I’m sort of venting, and then the video goes into the few different focuses that I DO find exist in daygame versus nightgame, as well as the various ways to deal with peer groups of hot girls, and all sorts of silly field reports.
CLICK THE VIDEO RIGHT NOW TO SEE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DAYGAME AND NIGHTGAME!
Fun stuff huh? Hope you enjoyed this one.
Something I also didn’t mention in this video about daygame – I’ve always felt that daygame is a place to USE the skills you’ve built, whereas nightgame is the place to BUILD them.
In other words, I personally find it weird to just WANDER AROUND looking for women with no other reason to be out, with like 5 or 10 minutes of walking in between each conversation, and then approaching.
But if I’m out going about my day and I'm not overly tired, hell yeah I hit up girls ALL THE TIME.
I like it because if I’m just going through my day, enjoying being outside or having a bite to eat, etc, I feel like I’m acting in my own intentions and having my own fun. So it’s very natural to start chatting and move things forward.
But as a grown adult to be walking around randomly hoping to meet a girl, with nothing else going on, I get pretty sketched out. Like in Los Angeles even the better daytime venues like Santa Monica or The Grove or the Beverly Center (or hell, even the various Farmer’s Market’s…) aren’t going to have the abundance of super hot women where you can go there for no other reason than to chat. Yes there’s a few and I’ll meet them when I see them, but it’s not the BANG BANG BANG type of vibe that I like to TRAIN with.
When I’m going out to bang the guns, I want to be able to roll out of one conversation and into another, so I can just mess around and get into rhythm and play around with different shit.
So for me, daygame is a place to USE the skills I’ve built, whereas nightgame is the place to BUILD them.
**OTOH you have cities like NYC and London.
Those are different altogether. In cities like NYC you can go to a Whole Foods and it’s superior to a nightclub. I’ve seen days in Manhatten where you can hit up more stunners on the street than 1Oak or any of the top clubs.
London has some pretty good spots as well. And then Vegas has the daytime pool parties, so there’s always a few exceptions to the rule.
Again: go out to hit up lots of girls at night, meet girls using the skills you learned during the day.
Wash, rinse, repeat, until you get married and bang out kids. Then stop unless your wifey is cool with it. :)
Ultimately pickup is about BEING that guy who women are attracted to. So it applies DAY OR NIGHT. There’s a few opening and closing things that can be different I suppose (although notice that streetgame open at night in the video is identical to how you do streetgame IN THE DAY…) but overall it’s about BEING that guy.
As I said in the video, if you’re having trouble with momentum or feeling like a different guy in the night versus the day, work on your baseline sense of being a happy person. It’s not a magic pill but it works.
Lastly, remember that the DEFAULT of all pickup is just being “friendly and cool”.
Call it FRIENDLY AND COOL METHOD if that makes you feel better. Frankly it’s how I do the majority of my pickups. The crazy stunting is more to show you what’s possible, but most women are going to be attracted to you with this straightforward approach.
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Anyway I’ve been off in Miami for the past month, and did I learn a lot? HELL YES.
And did I do things I've never done?? OH YELL YES. Vegas was absolute carnage. Amazing. Miami prepared me for a major breakthrough, and in Vegas I did things I've never done in my life.
In fact I learned so much it’s hard for me to express right now as I want to go to sleep, so I’m going to save it for a future post.
Definitely breaking new ground, doing things I’ve never seen done, and enjoying the fruits of the effort.
Game has been blowing up, and feeling closer to realizing the vision I had in this shit back in the day. My love for the game has deepened every year of my life, and this year is no different. It’s everything to me. Still love it to death.
Hope your month has been good as well! Let me know your thoughts on daygame, and I’ll check back later to see what’s up. I’ll also promise to get back on the COMMENTS this time, as I’ve been unable to in the past few articles despite that I read them and appreciate them!
SO LET ME KNOW WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND!
I’ll see you soon. Great things to come, I promise. Wait til you see this shit. Have fun!
Tyler
PS:
Again if you haven't yet got your spot for my Free Tour, Hot Seat 2, and Bootcamp events....
San Francisco: March 15 - 17
Phoenix: March 29 - 31
Las Vegas: April 12 - 14
Washington DC: April 26 - 28
Boston: May 3 - 5
LOL so I wrote this post Monday and Wednesday and had the fun time of re-learning the lesson to make big posts in MS Word and cut and paste, as the internet crashed and I lost them. :)
This is the second time this happened to me this month. I swear this is what happens when you get sleep deprived -- it's those LITTLE mistakes you make, like leaving your cell phone in a taxi cab or whatever.
Anyway I'm in Miami running the second of the three 5 day BC's here. Just coming off of the Hot Seat 2 launch that ran 16 to 20 hour days for a month and a half, then the Chicago and NY programs, and finally the batch of programs here in Miami.
My brain is dead and I'm walking around in a sort of haze. :) The programs have been pretty epic though -- by far the best I've ever run -- as I just keep getting better and better. I like that it's cultivating a mental toughness and removing any last shreds of pussy laziness that I had. In fact I recorded the NY Free Tour and Miami Free Tours on the topic of work ethic VS laziness so if you liked the "Truth About Success" video you'll see a few more of those coming out.
I've got a short new video today -- well like 13 minutes or something -- but that's kinda short for what's been up on here lately. It's got the seed of one of my best "never talked about before" ideas in it, but frankly I did an inadequate job of explaining it and will have to do more videos on the same topic to make it clear.
Still I thought I'd release it because it's one of those really important ideas that deserves to be covered again and again.
btw my upcoming programs are...
San Francisco: March 15 - 17
Phoenix: March 29 - 31
Las Vegas: April 12 - 14
Washington DC: April 26 - 28
Boston: May 3 - 5
I'm also doing the final week of the Miami "Model Season 5 Day Bootcamp" from March 6th - 10th.
We'd had only 2 weeks of it on the schedule which sold out nearly overnight so we decided last minute to open up a third week. The event is usually for alumni only but the third week is open to NON alumni as well.
Okay so what I'm going to talk about today is the MENTAL HABIT of just being CONGRUENT to whatever emotional state you're experiencing.
Here is a somewhat melodramatic quote from a Youtube commenter I just read as I cut and pasted the video into this, which basically sums it up...
"this video is important. it is the seed which will grow and revolutionize how the common person thinks of pickup. girls don't want to be involved with a guy's fake PR campaign or role. they want the real deal win whatever form it comes. PU has been about role-playing for so long. No more!" osnv89 1 day ago 5
I dunno if I'd go as far as "revolutionalizing" :) But he makes a good observation here, which is that yes, the goal of the video is to get you AWAY from the tendency to put on a FRONT with women.
CLICK THE VIDEO AND CHECK IT OUT, THERE'S A BONUS SECTION IN IT AS WELL, AND THEN I'LL EXPLAIN IN PROPER DETAIL BELOW.
Okay so there's a few nuances here that I didn't really cover in the video that I'll go into right now.
First is that -- yes obviously -- the video is meant more for guys who are NOT "hard case newbies".
I personally feel that "hard cases" need their own videos and have even considered creating a "hard case video series" or something like that, because guys who are on that level probably need a different type of advice.
(In this case a hard case newbie might be depressed and angry at life, so walking up "congruent" to that type of mode probably wouldn't be a good idea. I'd almost rather he just walks around life FAKING being in a decent mood because although he wouldn't get laid from it, probably nothing will get him laid anyway and at least he's practicing taking on the identity of a normal human.)
That said though, you may remember Ryan's "Broken man game" that he used to great effect, just being congruent to the fact that he's pissed off and angry at the world -- pulling by saying "I hate it here! I hate myself! I just want to LEAVE! Come with me!!"
So it can work -- but again Ryan wasn't exactly a hard case newbie at the time he was getting laid with this.
CLICK THIS AS WELL AND JUMP TO THE FINAL 25 MINUTES -- EVEN IF YOU'VE SEEN IT -- AS IT'S A PHENOMENAL COMPLEMENT TO THE VIDEO ABOVE AND FEATURES RYAN'S "BROKEN MAN GAME". YOU WILL ALSO SEE IT WITH FRESH EYES BASED ON WHAT YOU SAW ABOVE.
Anyway the other thing about it I wanted to explain is that the KEY to what I'm saying is: girls don't usually just blow you off for a "lack of value" but rather there's something OFF about you as far as being INCONGRUENT.
Obviously they DO blow you off for all sorts of shit -- like I hit up girls in the worst situations and they could be with their husband or whatever else -- but GENERALLY SPEAKING I've found that I get blown out a lot more for being incongruent than not being "high status" enough for them.
If you want to understand this better -- and I wish I would have added this example into the video -- it's CRAZY how often I see beta male non good looking guys chatting up hot women, and the girls are giggling their asses off and totally into him.
That's not to say they'll fuck him necessarily, although I bet if he structured it where they're hanging out later in the night he'd have a decent chance just cause girls are often bored and horny, but they TALK to him and show interest in what he's saying at very least.
Well when you see these beta male non good looking guys with hot girls into them, what is the commonality?
They're just CONGRUENT to who they are and relaxed and being themselves.
Now you might be asking "Well if I won't usually get SEX like this, then what's the point?"
The points are...
1) Sometimes you WILL get laid like this (just reference the video of "Tyler pulling while out of state")
2) Being congruent gets you into lots of conversations, which quickly wakes up your brain and gets you talkative, and then later you BUILD MOMENTUM and SWITCH ON and get laid.
3) This mode also gets you in a headspace that you will ALWAYS be yourself, which has HUGE HUGE HUGE repercussions as to how you walk through life.
Basically if you get yourself into a mode where you're going to be congruent to where you're at no matter what, there's more of a solidness to you as a dude in general. This is literally a MENTAL HABIT of just being congruent and not a try-hard, which helps massively on pulls, day game where you have no momentum, day 2's, dealing with aggressive guys, etc etc.
And btw -- I'm far from the world's most "congruent man". I have plenty of incongruences as well. You don't have to be perfect with this, just improve with it gradually over time. Like I'm more congruent now than last year, or the year before. No rush to get there, just keep it in mind and enjoy the journey.
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What we're talking about here is actually similar to what I learned from the past few years of public speaking.
If I do a kick ass speach and then go to the next speach and try to REPLICATE THAT VIBE it will usually bomb, because emotions come in waves.
I've learned that if I'm feeling chill, do a chill speach with good content. If I'm feeling crankly from being overworked, do a cranky speach on stepping up and taking action. Just be congruent to wherever you're at and it will come out the best.
(Again though this assumes a certain BASELINE OF NORMALCY and that you aren't a "hard case" newbie type guy. As a hard case you can't just accept where you're at -- you need to aggressively push against it and CHANGE. But for a regular guy -- not even some super amazing guy but just a REGULAR guy -- this is what I found to work really well.)
The key to all this is that the girl is looking for incongruencies in your eyes as you speak.
If you just stay congruent to where you're at, she sees no weird flinching or resistance of where you're at, and so she gets into you.
The problem with trying to fake high status when you're not feeling it is that she sees you're in RESISTANCE to not being high status, which makes you look EVEN LOWER STATUS.
What's crazy though?
A guy like myself for example -- I've usually fucked girls hotter than her, have cooler friends than her, have my shit together in life, access to everything, etc.
So if I'm really this cool guy, and I'm just not feeling good at the exact moment, why am I FAKING being high status? It's actually making me come across WORSE. :)
Same with yourself, even if you don't have similar assets of life experiences, remember that a cool guy wouldn't be bothered with this.
NOTE HOWEVER that a cool guy also wouldn't FAKE being congruent or FAKE being nervous to get the girl. He'd just do whatever he's gonna do.
You DO have to make an effort to talk though. So none of this means you can just say "Well I'm gonna be congruent to NOT WANTING TO TALK AT ALL." Clearly if you're APPROACHING the girl you must want to talk, so if not that's fucked up.
Look most of this is really common sense, so I'm just sort of filling in the blanks of misinterpretations here. Use your brain -- this allows me to put out videos that aren't totally perfect without having to re-record them a million times to account for every misinterpretation. I'm sure you get the idea. :)
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One last point as well, and I want to do another video on this later...
There's a book out called "Sex At Dawn" that I haven't read yet, but the gist I'm hearing about is it that back in the day everyone in the tribe used to all fuck eachother in orgies or something like that.
This flies a bit contra to the "alpha male gets all the girls" way of looking at the game, from "Red Queen" or "Selfish Gene" etc.
Truth be told there were probably different types of tribes, some that shared women and some where the alphamale kept a harem and the beta males got jack shit. And let's be honest, you've probably seen yourself that when you're more alpha you get more attraction, so that goes without saying.
But I found it to be an interesting example where you could imagine that say a guy wasn't the #1 guy, but maybe the #4 guy in the tribe and he LIKED THE ROLE and ACCEPTED THE ROLE and was CONGRUENT TO THE ROLE because he felt comfortable in the tribe, he would still get laid.
My video editor / buddy Mike is a good example of this, where he isn't some super alpha male AT ALL and yet he's had sex with around 100 girls who are mostly 8's / 9's / 10's. It really surprises you when you hear about it but if you look at him, he's just a REALLY congruent dude.
It's like there's no RESISTANCE to him at all. He's never try hard and always at ease with himself, even though he doesn't have all the alphamale thing going on so much.
(He's actually made efforts to learn it cause he thinks it's cool, but it's more from a place of self amused curiousity than needing it out of insecurity.)
Anyway I see a lot of girls who I get blown out by, and Mike winds up attracting when we're out. So the way I imagine it is like I'm coming across as the try-hard alphamale who is maybe the alpha in some other tribe but doesn't really belong here, whereas Mike is the INTEGRATED #4 man who is ACCEPTED by the tribe and everyone likes -- cause he's not RESISTING his less alphamale role.
(I realize this is getting a lil weird here... I'm sort of having fun with this, try not to take it too seriously, just theoriing and having a bit of fun so don't take it too seriously -- who the fuck KNOWS what cavemen were really up to??)
Point being is that given girls are often bored and horny these guys get laid a decent amount. And the fact they hae no resistance about their status in the situation, that just makes them come across like they FIT IN and are PRETTY COOL which is bound to create attraction in many girls.
Something to think about anyway. Again getting a lil out there..
One last thought btw and then I'll crack out of here (headed to Joe's Stonecrab with the crew!).
The video you saw above was an example of 2 things I've worked on the past few years.
1) Just shipping the damned product on a deadline no matter what.
(Well actually I missed my deadline due to the article crapping out twice this week, like a huge idiot as I did that previously as well, but at least I got the video done on time.)
I felt the video was inadequately explained as it was honestly one of my GEM concepts and I could do a good 30 minutes on it that would make it a lot more impactful and profound. But after I took 4 years doing up Blueprint Decoded I decided that for the Youtube stuff I would just do the BEST JOB I COULD WITH THE TIME RESOURCES THAT I HAVE.
This has been tough for me because my instinct is RE-RECORD. But the video is decent and the bottom line is that it was freezing cold out there which froze my brain, and I was underslept as a motherfucker. So it was honestly the best job I could do with the time and energy that I had -- better to ship the fucken thing and have a new video this week than nothing at all.
Obviously a certain standard has to be maintained or people lose interest, but I felt it made the cut.
You often see in my articles "I'm running out the door" as I write them up, and that's because I usually limit myself to around 20 - 60 minutes on the frontpage articles.
Why?
Because if I allowed myself more I wouldn't physically have the time to get them done. It bugs me because I know I could do a lot better, but I also know that doing it this way ensures that I'll have new content every week.
The key has been in learning to produce 8.5 out of 10 content RAPIDLY as opposed to taking forever on the 10 out of 10. Then from there working behind the scenes on the masterpeices that you can create as a 10 out of 10 to leave behind as your legacy (as well as the main things people can focus on when they first find you).
This may sound common sense to a lot of people, but it's been challenging for me and something I've been proud of in terms of a shift in thinking. A lot of it I attribute to Seth Godin in the book "Linchpin" and Pressfield's "The War Of Art".
2) Experimenting with different ways of doing things that could make good use of strengths, even if it risks turning people off.
So in this video I left in the part with the security bugging me, cause I thought people may find it amusing.
Truth be told? I get guys harrassing me when shooting vidoes outside ALL THE TIME.
But I noticed in a comment the other day a guy saying...
"one thing I appreciate about Tyler and the RSD crew is how they film these videos in PUBLIC places, with people walking and 'eavesdropping' on what they're talking about on cam. That REALLY is what's it all about, pushing yourself, pushing that comfort zone constantly - day by day just dissipating 'giving a shit what people think'" sixamsedna 2 months ago 37
So I thought to myself "Actually YEAH we do go to a lot of bullshit to shoot these OUTSIDE -- and there IS sometimes little bullshit interruptions, so maybe people would think it's funny to see how I handle it mixed into the vids."
I was kinda on the fence about leaving in the part with security bugging me about the silly tripod thing, because in the past I would edit it out. It's also kinda a distraction and comes across a bit immature.
But then I figured "Why not experiment and see what people think of it?" Not that it's even the main focus of the video and most of the comments are on the content, but just to see in general how it flies with the audience. And so far it seems like people did find it to be kinda funny or whatever.
I did something similar with "The Truth About Success -- Why You Should Rather Die Than Miss A Day In The Gym" video.
When I released it I was concerned people may dislike the video, or that it would be too off topic, or even too intense and insane. But it turned out to be one of the most popular in the past year. People come up to talk to me about it on the street and all that -- had a lot of great feedback on it.
Again this is looking at a strength -- the fact I work my ass off, some people are interested in that. Talking about work ethic also gets me a lot of entrepreneur students, who attend and say "I like that you're a hard worker and that's what made me want to do the event with you."
I think in general the way you want to experiment with strengths is start off doing what works, then play with new things in the middle, and then end with what works.
Standup comedians do this as well (you can see it explained in Jerry Seinfeld's "The Comedian" movie) where they OPEN with their strongest material, try out new material in the middle, and close with something field tested to be awesome.
You can do the same in game when you think about expanding your repertoire as well. Be congruent in the start, maybe play with some push/pull or physical stuff you've never done for a few minutes in the middle, but then close with whate works.
This is sort of the bridge between "self acceptance and self improvement" as far as social interactions go.
Anyway the videos have been a good win/win opportunity for me to play around with different ideas, get a lot of feedback on what people like and dislike, while allowing YOU to get a lot of free content. Also a way for me to practise staying on schedule, getting things out on time, and managing a schedule -- so when I'm older I have a good background of experience with it and can take it to higher and higher levels.
(Sounds funny for me to say "I do this for practice managing a schedule" but IT'S TRUE! This shit is challenging and you gotta learn one step at a time. That's really what you've been seeing from me the past few years.)
btw the question I'd ask YOU: What are YOUR strengths that you're unaware of / take for granted?
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Okay so I'm out of here, off to go eat with Julien and Jeff and a bunch of our buddies who are in town!
Hope you're having a kick ass week and I'll be back next week with a new 30 minute video on daygame that features little bursts of infield footage (that short type that will annoy people -- but at least will make the point clear that's trying to be conveyed!). It's great and you will love it.
LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON TODAY'S TOPIC? WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON EMBODYING WHATEVER EMOTIONS YOU FEEL?
So I'm off to MIAMI SOUTH BEACH for the month in a few hours. Gotta pack and hit the gym and post up this article, then I'm out of here!
It's been pretty crazy with only a few days back with my family after the Chicago / New York trip but it is what it is. I'm looking forward to spending more time at home in the future after this tour is done -- which also means if you want to take a program with me while I'm still teaching pickup full time, do it now!
The Miami Alumni-Only 5 Day Bootcamp filled up pretty fast -- sold out 18 seats almost overnight -- so Julien and I decided to stay an extra week and open up a third program which now has 2 students and 4 seats still available.
It runs this March 6 - 10 and I told my team to allow three NON alumni students onto the program as Julien and I break off into two separate groups, but just a head's up as a first ever bootcamp that's insanely intense.
(I'm also doing a Free Tour and Hot Seat 2 event in Miami on February 24th and 26th. If you live in Florida you'll definitely want to get on those. And yes, the Free Tour is pretty substantial program and worth driving in for a few hours even though it's "free".)
After that my dates for Free Tour / Hot Seat 2 / Bootcamp are going to be...
San Francisco: March 15 - 17
Phoenix: March 29 - 31
Las Vegas: April 12 - 14
Washington DC: April 26 - 28
Boston: May 3 - 5
I'm hoping to always teach Bootcamp from time to time, but the way I'm teaching right now by doing them so often is just on a different level. The things I'm able to both show students as well as get them actually DOING are totally insane.
As for Hot Seat there's no way I'd teach that event forever, so if you want to do it with me, uhhhh yeah NOW. :)
Okay so with that out of the way, let's get into today's content.... I'm not gonna have a lot of time to write a lot here as I'm running out the door but hopefully the videos will sort of speak for themselves.
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So these 2 videos are something I've had stewing up in my head a long time. It actually frustrates me I have to bounce out of here so fast cause I'd like to write more on this topic, but I'm sure I'll do so in the future.
Basically they're going to cover what I think is the LAMEST and most FUCKED UP SELF SABOTAGE MINDSET that utterly destroys 99% of guys who try to learn pickup.
This is a mindset that I personally find so pathetic and disgusting, it makes my skin crawl.
And yet I used to be one of the guys who had the same way of thinking, and even promoted it when I was teaching back in the day because the teachers I was learning from thought in the same way.
This mindset is what I call the "Pick Up Artist Batting Average Frame".
It's the frame of "How many girls do you have to OPEN in order to GET LAID??"
Here's what's crazy though...
The truth is that most guys don't even think of it like "How many do you open to get SEX..." but rather "How many do you open and have them be NICE to you and not IGNORE or REJECT you..."
Because let's be honest here. The reality of having intimate sexual intercourse with every women you approach would be totally absurd and cartoon-like.
Yes it sounds cool in theory (actually extremely cool...), but in practical reality if every cute girl you saw you wound up ejaculating into and having her pussy juice all over your cock, just going from girl to girl doing this, would be so much overkill you wouldn't know what to do with it.
The more realistic reality is that you meet many girls throughout the course of your day or night, certain ones of them you have chemistry with, and wind up making out with a few of them a night, and getting laid a few times a week to a few times a month, depending on how much you go out and follow up on Day 2's.
Then some of these girls are EXTREMELY HOT and you have AMAZING CHEMISTRY with, and you wind up prefering to sleep with them regularly than meeting new girls. This develops what's called a "rotation" of girls who you like, which you also go out regularly just for the love of going out and occassionally upgrade or replace girls who you're losing interest in.
You accomplish this by talking to LOTS of girls and having a FUN NIGHT. It's a general lifestyle of being a self validated, self amused, fun person who likes talking to people because he feels good in his own skin and it's natural to spread that out and blow off steam.
Going out is a way to blow off steam and have a blast, and meeting girls is a natural consequence of that. Not this intense, scary thing you to fill a dark hole that you think sex will make "feel better". Frankly the truth is that if someone is a dark weirdo who isn't happy in his life, pounding away into a "warm hole" is not that much different than jerking off for him. It provides a temporary way to escape it but doesn't fix the larger issue.
Anyway here's the first video on the topic and we'll talk more about this in a second[/b] -- CLICK IT NOW...
Now what's I want to elaborate on further here is also how this lame mindset has fucked up both pickup STUDENTS as well as pickup TEACHERS in our little community.
Students get fucked up by it because they delusionally think that the "good guys in game" never get rejected. That's just ridiculous. If you're not getting rejected by girls you're not approaching enough, or not attempting difficult enough sets. Sorry to tell you, but the reason I have highlight reels of me pulling out some of the most ridiculously difficult shit is because I TRY for shit that has a low chance of working TO CHALLENGE MYSELF and FOR FUN.
There's no reason not to! It's fucken hilarious and exhilirating to pull this shit off! And if often WORKS!
But obviously sometimes it's not going to work. That's obvious. If a guy is telling me he never gets rejected I know he's either not pushing the envelope or else just lying -- probably to HIMSELF!
Now here I'm going to post a Private Message I just got from a pickup newbie who I bumped into at a bar the other night in Hollywood. He's a really nice guy and has great intentions, but I'm going to dissect his message a little bit.
Hey, Owen! I'm the Asian guy that introduced myself to you at Happy endings in Hollwood. I wasn't too sure if you were just hanging out with friends or if you were at bootcamp. Towards the end before you left, you were talking to some girl and her friend seemed to be pulling her friend away from you. And I know that you're more than capable to handle that situation...and I didn't see any of your buddies stepping up to occupy the obstacle...so, I thought it's be fun to step in to wing for you. I approached and distracted her and talked to her for a bit until one of your friends blocked my interaction with her. It was pretty awesome, actually... He literally just steped in front of me like I wasn't there and then POOF... the girl's focus was on him and I had disappeared to her. If I stepped over my bounds, I'm sorry... I didn't know what was going on...I just thought I was being helpful and thought it'd be fun to wing for you.
Regardless, it was a real pleasure to meet you and see you infield LIVE... I love the work you do and simply want to say, "Thank you!"
So this was just a funny lil incident that happened, what's crazy is I DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER IT!!
Like for the life of me I have no recollection.
But here's what I wanted to add to it....
Notice how he says "Towards the end before you left, you were talking to some girl and her friend seemed to be pulling her friend away from you. And I know that you're more than capable to handle that situation..."
Here's the key: THERE IS NO "SITUATION"!!
I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK!!
If a girl is walking away I'm PARTYING!! I don't NOTICE this shit!! It doesn't even register!! I've got girlies SWIRLING AROUND ME I can't even remotely notice if one girl stayed or left!!
What's happened in this case (well I'm totally speaking for him here and may not be correct, but we'll just pretend I know what he's saying for the sake of this article...) is that he's had all this CRAP pumped into his head from the PUA community about "getting every girl you approach" and he's like "How is Tyler the pickup-man not getting this girl he talked to??!!"
This also happens to me when I'm out, where guys will stop doing what they're doing and watch me, and they're STUNNED when I approach a girl and don't fuck her.
And yet what do you also read about guys who see me? Many reports of, "Yeah I saw Owen getting blown out quite a bit that night, and then at the end he left with the hottest girl in the club?"
Hell yeah, this happens to me all the time. I succeed where others fail for a simple reason: from approach to approach I start having MORE AND MORE FUN.
I'm a 100 hour a week working entrepreneur so of course I may be a lil in my head and cranky and antisocial when I go out, so I FORCE my brain into FUN MODE by talking to a lot of girls -- some who I have chemistry with and some who I don't.
By the end of the night, ideally and not always, but fairly often, I'm visibibly the "guy to meet" for the girls in the venue, and they're all curious about me. And even the ones who blew me off earlier are looking back like "WHO IS THIS GUY??"
Like the other night in Chicago I got blown out quite a few times because I'd just finished the Hot Seat 2 launch and had a ton of cortisol and stress in my body, but I was determined and pushed through.
I grab this one mixed race girl away from a guy on the dancefloor, pull her in and say "You're too tall for me!" She responds "No I'm in hells I'm your height!" and I knew I had her. I ask "What's your racial background?" and she lists like 7 or 10 different races. I stupidly joke back "I'm a white supremacist I'm going to light you on fire and drag you behind my car!"
Now in Hollywood this sort of thing tends to fly with 9's and 10's because they're so oversaturated with guys hitting on them that they think it's funny, but in Chicago it's a lot more polite and mild mannered so the girl thought I was fully SERIOUS and got mad. I tried to flip it around but I couldn't and she walked off. I even hit on her sister (who loved me) and she ripped her sister away.
So I build up more social momentum and wind up making out AS THE OPEN with IMO the cutest girl in the club. Both these girls are really cute, but I liked this one even better. So the entire club is watching me tongue down this girl and get it on like the Titanic is sinking, it's like this crazy erotic display. Finally I let her go and make plans to meet later in the night, and walk back up to the mixed race girl and say "How are you doing?"
She's like "Oh you made out with that slut she's such a whore blah blah..."
I'm like "Well I wish it was with YOU but I made one little stupid joke you didn't like and you freaked out and blew me off..." and she's like "Oh I was drunk I should've known you were kidding, I like you, you need to call me blah blah..." and of course the students brains are melting and it's all glory.
Now how does this sort of shit happen to me regularly (well the racial joke was pretty stupid, but you get the idea...)?? It's because I just HAVE FUN and don't worry about my "approach to lay" ratio. All I'm doing is having a fucken BLAST and I know getting laid regularly with hot women is guaranteed.
In my head I'm just feeling "buzzed off my own awesomeness" and using SOCIALIZING to SATURATE MY BODY WITH POSITIVE EMOTIONS. The more the positive emotions increase the better I feel, I wind up fooling around with a few girls in the venue, other girls blow me off (but like I said often times COME BACK and re-open me and are curious later in the night), and I don't worry about ANY OF IT -- because all I'm doing is having more and more fun, getting more and more unstifled, and "tweaking the dials" to pull that super stunner by the END OF THE NIGHT.
FUCK WORRYING ABOUT YOUR "APPROACH TO LAY" RATIO and start thinking about HOW MUCH YOU ARE ACTUALLY GETTING LAID!! And by WHAT QUALITY OF WOMEN and is it with women you ACTUALLY LIKE??
Click this video right now, it elaborates in very funny detail...
Okay so I want to wrap with how this "PUA Batting Average" mindset has also fucked up TEACHERS in the pickup industry and why I think it sucks.
There's a reason that most guys simply retire after they get too well known -- it's because they get creeped out by being stared at and judged during COMMON REJECTIONS by newbies in the club who have no idea what pickup is all about.
The other night a guy comes up to me and says "I saw you get rejected? I thought you were like one of those pickup masters?!" Of course later I made out with the two hottest girls in that club and have day 2's with them that I'd be doing if I wasn't shooting off to Miami (also may have pulled them if I wasn't helping Todd on BC).
So this fellow sees me get blown off by some 7 who I was just yelling some silly shit at, and doesn't realize that this is a part of an OVERALL PROCESS OF THE NIGHT that leads to me pimping it with the hottest girls in the place.
This is common and happens to me all the time (I also have guys seeing me pulling hot women all the time, and it winds up in many of them taking BC with me, so I take the good with the bad...) and I remember at one point I felt like I didn't enjoy going out as a "PUA celebrity" anymore (btw "PUA celebrity just means you're a giant dork, but you know what I mean...).
Finally though I noticed that many other PUAs were sort of losing interest in it over this, and I asked myself "Is the game my greatest love?? And if so, then why should I care who sees that shit?? I love this so much and I owe everything to the game, and someday I'm gonna die, so I'm just gonna pimp it and fully ignore all the people who stare at me when I'm out and do my thing.... FUCK IT!!"
And with that, I chose never to care about it EVER AGAIN.
So now I'll go out and even if newbies are gawking at me, I have no fear to take blowouts in order to snap myself out of anti-social mode and start waking up. I'm going to play and love the damned game no matter what, I'm not succumbing to that bullshit "PUA Batting Average" shit that pervades this community.
I remember back in the day how I prided myself on being able to "open and hook" a good 99% of girls I approached, and it gave the appearance I was the FUCKEN SHIT!! But doing it the way I do it now, just BE ME and HAVE FUN I am getting laid far more often, and by the hottest girls I've ever fucked, and with girls I have true chemistry with.
It was when I changed from "open and hook" everything to just "be me and have fun" that I noticed girls begging for MY phone number. Yeah I got rejected more often, but I also had girls FAWNING all over me because the girls who are attracted the type of personality I have are like "Holy shit, this is the type of guy that i LOVE!!"
I stopped worrying about making EVERY GIRL LIKE ME and focused on BEING ME so that THE GIRLS I HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH WOULD GO NUTS OVER ME.
Again I can't really speak highly enough of what this has done for my results as far as 1) getting laid more often, 2) getting laid by hotter girls, and 3) helping me meet the girls I ACTUALLY have REAL chemistry with.
My "PUA Batting Average" has gone down, yet I'm having way more fun and all of the above are now my day to day reality.
I hope that this will help the community on various different levels, because like I said that stupid mindset both fucks up students as well as teachers they could learn from. The reason most teachers are afraid to post infield footage of their blowouts is they don't want to fuckup their reputation. Likewise the reason many teachers in local lairs don't like to go out with newbies is that newbies don't realize that success in the game comes in cycles and sometimes you do well and sometimes you do average and sometimes you do bad, but if you're going out regularly it's always improving and improving in terms of the girls you get!
So if you're a newbie here's what I'd say -- first stop judging YOURSELF, and second of all realize that the people you learn from ALSO get blown out a lot but if they're doing their shit properly they're getting laid with very hot women and dating them.
Does all this make sense?? I hope so!! I'm writing this literally as fast as I can with no edit time as I gotta run to Miami now and just wanted to nail this one out. Hope you enjoyed it!!
Let me know your thoughts on this, and what it cleared up for you. YES I CARE!! :) So let me know!
I'll see you in Miami if you're coming, and everyone else I hope to see you on my tour!! Thanks for reading and have fun!!
Yo waddup it's 6AM in NYC we just finished up the Chicago and New York Hot Seat 2 events they were absolutely bomb.
I wanted to start off this post by thanking everyone who signed up as the sign ups were basically off the charts. I've never done such a successful launch and I attribute this to just hammering and hammering with tons of free content for 2 years leading up to it without launching anything, as well as the promotional materials having a lot of great free content and captivating people's imaginations.
Regardless I wanted to thank everyone who signed up, and honestly it goes both ways because nothing I said about the quality of the event can overhype it. It's really that good of an event so no matter how excited you are you're good to go, because it's going to exceed your highest expectations.
My shit this weekend in NYC was totally epic I don't think I ever killed it like that in my life. We recorded me talking on my buddy's 40K camera and maybe I'll put out a few clips from the speaking parts at some point.
Julien is hitting another level as well and I think with the aggressive culture of pushing the envelope and continually improving we'll someday be the best that ever did it. The progress seems to be exponential where it's this out of control snowball just getting faster and bigger.
I've got 2 new videos out today which you're absolutely going to love -- one of the topic of how to get 5 minute lays with nasty cum dumpster sluts in bathrooms, and the other on advanced subtleties that the masses can't mentally process in the game.
We'll hit into those in a minute but real quick here's a summary of the upcoming Hot Seat 2 events.
Bare in mind as well that I'll be doing Free Tour and Bootcamp events in these cities as well. The Bootcamps tend to fill up pretty fast so if you see a city where you're looking to do one I'd highly recommend you get on it especially as I'm never really guaranteed to be teaching these as things get crazier in the future.
United States February 26, 2012: Miami, FL, USA (Julien running day 2)
March 17, 2012: San Francisco, CA, USA
March 31, 2012: Phoenix, AZ, USA
April 14, 2012: Las Vegas, NV, USA
April 28, 2012: Washington DC
May 5, 2012: Boston, MA, USA (Julien running day 2)
May 19, 2012: Austin, TX, USA (Julien running day 2)
June 2, 2012: Atlanta, GA, USA
June 16, 2012: Seattle, WA, USA
June 30, 2012: Philadelphia, PA, USA
July 14, 2012: Denver, CO, USA
August 4, 2012: Honolulu, HI, USA (Julien running day 2)
September 1, 2012: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Europe March 17, 2012: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 24, 2012: Munich, Germany
April 7, 2012: Paris, France
April 21, 2012: London, United Kingdom
April 28, 2012: Copenhagen, Denmark
September 22, 2012: Frankfurt, Germany
September 29, 2012: Stockholm, Sweden
October 6, 2012: Oslo, Norway
October 13, 2012: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
October 20, 2012: Dublin, Ireland
November 17, 2012: Barcelona, Spain
December 1, 2012: Moscow, Russia
December 8, 2012: Athens, Greece
February 23, 2013: Bucharest, Romania
March 2, 2013: Sofia, Bulgaria
March 23, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
March 30, 2013: Birmingham, United Kingdom
Australia May 26, 2012: Perth, Australia
June 2, 2012: Melbourne, Australia
June 9, 2012: Sydney, Australia
June 16, 2012: Auckland, New Zealand (just added!)
Canada August 25, 2012: Vancouver, Canada
September 1, 2012: Toronto, Canada
September 8, 2012: Montreal, Canada
Latin America June 23, 2012: Buenos Aires, Argentina
June 30, 2012: Sao Paulo, Brazil
July 7, 2012: Mexico City, Mexico
Middle East December 15, 2012: Tel Aviv, Israel
January 5, 2013: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
South Africa January 12, 2013: Cape Town, South Africa
January 19, 2013: Johannesburg, South Africa
Asia (presented by Alex) March 17, 2012: Hong Kong
March 24, 2012: Singapore, Singapore
March 31, 2012: Tokyo, Japan
The bonus day special is still running because there were a lot of complaints about people freaking out that they didn't get in on time. I'll leave it up a bit longer cause I'm not looking to be a dickhead teacher who gives people detention getting to school a minute late or whatever, but please just jump in before the bonus clock runs out if you're looking to do this event. Thanks!
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Also some other cool news I have about events before cracking into the videos -- Julien and I decided to stay an extra week in Miami to run an extra "Miami Model Season 5 Day Alumni Only Bootcamp".
Basically we'd been set to run 2 weeks of them and it's a brutal addition to our schedule to run a third, but the first two programs filled up so fast that we figured we may as well do a third week of the program. If you've never heard of it it's basically a program we created for alumni who want something a lil more challenging -- we hit up the hardest venues in Miami South Beach during the infamous model season for 5 full days and rip it apart.
If you want to get in on one of the last few seats and hit it up with us in Miami for the week check this out...
There's a bunch more videos that have some pretty cool content on them and give the details of the Miami program over at...
You can probably imagine what a once in a lifetime experience something like this is, so if it's within reach for you DO IT NOW.
The quality of the students I've seen already signed up is very high and you will learn a ton.
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Okay so let's crack into this!!
I'd been meaning to get up these two videos for the past week and attempted to post them twice, but because I was so physically and mentally run down from the Hot Seat 2 launch I accidentally deleted the article both times I attempted to post it.
Thank God I'm going home tomorrow to recover for a week. I figure I'll try to sleep a lot and play with my kids.
Regardless I'm back on track right now and these are going to blow your mind. You'll probably notice my continued improvement in them as I'm on an upswing in my speaking and delivery.
I'm also experimenting a lot and pushing through being utterly obliterated and rundown, so there's some weird moments as well, like me seemingly LOSING MY MIND while attempting to explain Jeffy's Choo Choo train gimmick to bang girls in the club, and the fact I fully GO OFF on my imitations of Barrack Obama.
For some reason I get like this when I'm overworked. A lil loopy. I leave it in because it's fun and I figure it leaves you never knowing what to expect. :)
So this first one is the video about how to get laid within minutes of meeting a girl.
I've done this a few times in my life. Well maybe more than a few times. LOL. It's funny to do this, like it sort of feels like a gay hookup where you just meet some stranger and start having sex.
It's not exactly what I got into the game for, and yet, it's an ELEMENT of the game that you ideally want to know and gain experience with.
Being a lil bragging and honest here as well, most of the girls I've done this with have been HOT and generally intelligent.
Guys often wanna dismiss the fast lay as saying the girl is a lil dummy cum dumpster slut and it's simply not the case (well at least not ALWAYS the case). I've even had relationships with girls I fucked within minutes and I love it cause the entire time she has to worry that even if she goes to get money out from the bank she could come back to you fucking someone else. :) Hurry up girlie!!
Anyway this is something that I think you'll value learning a great deal, and I break it down pretty damned impeccably in here so enjoy.
CLICK THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW, INTERNALIZE WHAT YOU LEARN, AND GO OUT AND BANG A NASTY LIL CUM DUMPSTER SLUT!! HAHA JUST KIDDING!!
How rockin' is the beard in this video btw? That was the peak of the beard. It was pretty insane. I was truly a proud man!! :)
I hope you got a lot of entertainment out of this, and like I said, the fast lays can become an addiction similar to how pulling 2sets with a good wing is an addiction.
Sure it's good to get laid, but there's also larger aspects of the game you're looking to gain out of all this so don't make it a crutch. Do both!
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Now as far as this next video it's probably my personal favorite I've ever recorded up to this point. I know I'll do shit I like a lot better in the future, but this shit was so funny and off the wall to me I loved it.
The topic is "Advanced Subtleties In The Game" and it basically explains how there's no easy answers in all this, and how the paradoxes often confuse people.
I think you'll learn a great deal from this but more importantly you'll be entertained as all hell. It's like being on some weird acid trip watching this thing. It starts off slow and then builds and builds.
Maybe most important of all though?
What you're seeing here is an authentic expression of my point of view as a guy who lives my weird life.
Why is that important? After all it's MY life and not YOURS.
Well I've long believed that humor is basically our psychological IMMUNE SYSTEM against the pressures of life. It's basically the way our perspective of the world becomes ALTERED to sort of TICKLE us and keep us in good spirits so that we can be resourceful, competitive, clear thinking, etc etc.
When you talk to a girl you want to communicate whatever YOUR view of the world is in a similar way as I do in this video.
Well actually it goes in two steps, 1) cultivate a way of looking at the world that makes things funny for you so that you stay in good spirits, and 2) expressing it in a way that's authentic and without filters.
Do this as you talk to a girl and you "suck her into your reality" in a similar way as I do with the audience here. It's what gets you laid and allows you to overcome all barriers -- just suck her in, get her worldview to align with yours, and then show her that you're the man and that sex with you is fun.
Next thing you know this powerful subcommuncation of your psychology is getting you results beyond anything you've experienced. Trust me on this. It works.
CLICK THIS VIDEO TO BE WILDLY ENTERTAINED, LEARN ABOUT ADVANCED SUBTLETIES, AND GET A WINDOW INTO MY BIZARRE WORLDVIEW THAT KEEPS ME IN A GOOD MOOD DESPITE MY WEIRD LIFE SO YOU CAN USE IT AS AN EXAMPLE FOR YOUR OWN.
Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did presenting the talk.
Someday people will probably look back at stuff and think of how bizarre it is. I'm sure the fact I go out 7 nights a week has made me a lil more off the wall than I'll be in the future. :)
(That shit has a major impact on your personality and behaviour.)
So I usually like to include more written content in my articles but it's now 7AM and my flight is in the morning so I better cut it off. :) I'll try to hit back with more content next week!
Travelling back to Los Angeles for 7 days and hopefully relax a bit, then off to Miami for the first week of three model season bootcamps.
I recorded new Chicago and New York Free Tour clips as well as some good video blogs at the Rockerfeller Centre as well so look out for them. Next week I'll actually be posting a double video on the topic of "Results VS PUA Batting Average" that are also both from the same San Diego and Los Angeles Free Tours that these were from and I'm kinda excited at the impact I'm hoping they'll have on the RSDN community.
See you soon! And also thanks again if you signed up for the Hot Seat 2. Obviously if you haven't yet get it done RIGHT NOW by checking out this site...
Let me know your thoughts on fast lays and subtleties in the game. Why did the fast lays happen for you? And if they haven't, what's stopping this common event from making it's way into your life? :) And as far as the advanced subtleties of the game, do you feel you're someone who GETS these or are they still tough? I want to know!
Thanks for reading and have fun!! I'll see you soon!! :)
Tyler
PS:
Alex has a KICK ASS new blog design going and a sick new article over at -- www.alexattitude.com
Brad is also still going strong on his blog and has recently shaved his glorious mane which you can see pics of over at -- www.bradbranson.com
