Todd's Blog

Todd
 
Um hi,

In this article you will learn how to improvise and persist through any obstacle and how to stay calm in the face of the game's uncertainties.

But first off, I want to tell EVERYONE that the first FREE Inner Circle event is this Saturday, so if you are in any of the following cities, I recommend you go check it out. It is a 100% FREE EVENT where you can meet up with local RSD contacts for dinner and go out together afterwards. Here are the cities where we are organizing:

Amsterdam
Rotterdam
Melbourne
Montreal
Boston
New York
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Toronto
London
Chicago
Sydney
Tel Aviv

So again, come out and check it out, it’s totally and completely free. You can also find your local group on facebook, or email me at todd@realsocialdynamics.com with any questions you may have about the program.

As usual I’m writing this article while in transit; this time between New York and Boston. I had an AMAZING time in New York and Philadelphia over the past weekend, though as usual it was too much ‘play’ (i.e. game) and not enough ‘work’. This is my backhanded way of apologizing to all those people whose emails I just returned last night and my two students to whom I currently owe phone calls.

Biggest lessons for me this weekend: LOGISTICS are huge and it’s important to escalate quickly. It’s so easy to just sit back once you have attraction and settle for the easy phone numbers and pleasant reactions. It is something else entirely to push forward and really ‘assume the burden’ of escalating and leading. You are not allowed to rest… either physically or on your laurels.

I had a ton of makeouts with REALLY hot girls this weekend and a whole lot of pulls that ended up getting fucked by logistics… but overall I was very proud of my game and self amusement over the weekend. One thing that has helped massively with self amusement and ‘state’ for me is a lesson I learned from Alex.

He said: “If I look around the club and I see a guy who isn’t tapping his foot to the music, I know that guy isn’t getting laid”… or something to that effect. Well I’ve started dancing, singing along to the music, and generally enjoying the environment much more than I used to, and it has correlated to MUCH better results. I’ve even started dancing and singing to myself in DAYGAME.

So with this in mind, and given the fact that it’s been on my to-do list for years, I’m finally going to take dance lessons. This is me committing to it. It’s absolutely criminal that I’ve been in the game for 12 years and am still a poor dancer with a relatively soft voice. These areas will receive attention.

For any of you who would like to receive attention in your game, I will be in New York City every weekend this month except for the 25-27 when I’m doing a regional conference for Inner Circle. For more information on regional conferences or Inner Circle in general, visit www.rsdinnercircle.com

I have two videos for you guys today. The first is from the free tour in New York City where I talk about managing logistics and being proactive in order to ‘win ugly’. I see tons of guys with pretty good game, in the sense that girls find them charming and attractive, but I see far fewer guys who are real ‘closers’ who capitalize on that attraction. It’s just too easy to quit, give yourself excuses, or get lazy. I address that in this video:



I actually have another clip from the same speech with some field reports where I apply these principles, but there are a couple details I need to sort out before I post that one, so we’ll just put it down as a ‘coming attraction’ for now. This topic of playing to win and being a closer is a HUGE one for me because I feel that it has been one of my biggest sticking points, not only in game, but in life. So I really hope this video is helpful for you.

The second video is one that I’ve been meaning to put out for quite a while. I actually shot it in Vegas during World Summit, but the sound was messed up, so I had to re-shoot in DC. Variance, the concept that I address in this video, is a topic central to gambling which I learned as a professional poker player. And learning to deal with variance in poker has massively helped me with outcome independence in game. I hope you can apply the same lessons yourself.

It’s so important to realize that randomness just happens in life (and in gambling) and that to some extent you should take the weight off of your own shoulders and accept the results for whatever they are… providing, of course, that your effort and execution have been good. Anyway, here is the video:



I hope you found that interesting and informative, and I also hope I didn’t get you too bogged down in the details about poker and gambling. I actually cut a bunch of those out so I wouldn’t bore you. Anyway, lots to do in terms of arranging the Inner Circle events, but I’ll be back with another article next week.

-Todd

p.s. Check out www.rsdinnercircle.com for more info on the program and how to get ongoing lessons and support from RSD Instructors like myself.

p.p.s. For a daily dose of new pickup lines and philosophies, check me out on facebook and twitter. www.facebook.com/rsdtodd and www.twitter.com/rsdtodd
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Comments

#1

Kash.TO

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/05/2011 | Posts: 111

 Awesome! Awesome!
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#2
J Dilla R.I.P.

J Dilla R.I.P.

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/30/2012 | Posts: 113

 Cheers Todd, some great insights
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#3
RM

RM

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/23/2012 | Posts: 2

Damn Todd, loved the second video. I've been a poker player for some years now, so I can't stress enough how much it resonated with me. Never actually had thought about how something from poker could correlate with game, but now that I think about it it actually makes sense.

From the way that you talked about from poker I could assume that you used to play cash games, right? Even though the variance in tournaments are crazy sick too. Dealing with that kinda of thing crazy variance and the emotional swings that come with that can really give some strong refferences to not giving a fuck to 'bad beats' (either in poker or in game... actually in life in general) and to know that to make the right decision is all that you can do, knowing that its moving you towards what you want in the long run.

Another thing that I think its interesting its how when you start getting mastery in different areas you start to correlate a lot of things in common between then. I'm not even close to getting mastery in the game, or in poker per-say, but I had done it in other things when I was younger and I can see clearly how many little things apply in everything that you are trying to master in your life. 
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#4

Waginator

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/10/2011 | Posts: 272

Yes! Thanks For this Todd! Very helpful and so relevant. i can say that this is an extremely applicable topic for me right now.
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#5
chiffonade

chiffonade

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/07/2012 | Posts: 780

speaking of statistics... one thing to remember is failures and successes are CLUSTERED in the real world.

throw 100 darts against the wall randomly.  are they going to land evenly spaced, like a grid?  NO they will be clustered into random groupings.

collapse that 2 dimensional wall down into 1 dimensions (the time dimension) - failures and successes will be CLUSTERED.  there will be lots of empty space in there.
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#6

elmagic

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/17/2012 | Posts: 8

The second video Todd is something that I have been hoping you would discuss. I've been playing poker for 4 years now and i've never had a job.

The concepts in poker are directly related to life and resonate with alot of the things rsd educates on. But knowing the theory of poker (varience, results orientated, +/-ev etc) and trying to apply it to game will only get you into your head and you will start to anaylse at the wrong time for people new in the game.

Whenever Julien talks about reference points which are cruicial to life and mastery he needs to talk more about being results orientated. Which is a huge in life and game.  Through reference points and having an understanding of variable results you can change your game to specific targets which is something I have seen Alex talk about. This again aligns with poker in creating stategies and taking different lines to exploit opponents.

Yeah I could talk all day about it. But good vid I think it could be better though.
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#7

philippoohh

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/19/2012 | Posts: 118

haha you played poker for a living? stakes? nl? sounds like 200-400 nl
great video and the poker comparison fits perfectly. just do whatever you can and then see what happens - some times it wont work out, most of the times it will

but i disagree with the last part where you talk about what you can do about tilt / downwards spiral in game. you said that you should do sth. else if you feel bad about results etc. but dont you think thats the point of time where you should start being conscious about yourself being emotionally attached to results?
i mean if you start reframing success as soon as its going in the wrong direction it would make a lot more sense imo. means to become aware taht effort and not results matter - so even having a +10 stacks night you might be completly unhappy when you know you were not concentrated to yourfull potential and were autopiloting for good period of time. at the same time you might be completly happy while dropping a couple of stacks, cause of being concentrated and not finding big mistakes while reviewing the session.
same thing with game, being centered + being myself = success, everything else = failure, no matter what result i get (julien talks about it a lot as well).
takes time in the beginning to rewire, but def possible
2. become aware of variance. just become aware before you start playing / going out that in the next few hours its perfectly normal to drop x stacks / get blown out every single time or win x stacks / hook every set etc
...which makes me less emotionally attached to results from the very beginning

anyway, thanks for the great video and inspire some more thoughts on that topic
cheers
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#8
Alphamode

Alphamode

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/04/2012 | Posts: 212

What about San Francisco?
Todd wrote:
But first off, I want to tell EVERYONE that the first FREE Inner Circle event is this Saturday, so if you are in any of the following cities, I recommend you go check it out. It is a 100% FREE EVENT where you can meet up with local RSD contacts for dinner and go out together afterwards. Here are the cities where we are organizing:

Amsterdam
Rotterdam
Melbourne
Montreal
Boston
New York
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Toronto
London
Chicago
Sydney
Tel Aviv

So again, come out and check it out, it’s totally and completely free. You can also find your local group on facebook, or email me at todd@realsocialdynamics.com with any questions you may have about the program.
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#9
livoi

livoi

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/13/2012 | Posts: 4

SPLENDID .MAGNIFICENT,BRILLIANT
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#10

Patrick.Bateman

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 117

Great vid Todd!

Alot of guys are just afraid to close, sometimes I'm still too. It just the challenge to make closing part of your reality and like you said don't take the easy way out.

Cool Stuff on lightning Mike this guy sure knows how to multitask!
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#11
CharlieT

CharlieT

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/07/2012 | Posts: 178

 Second vid was fascinating. Thanks!
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#12

Rich~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2006 | Posts: 1573

 AWESOME vid on variance Todd.  I really get alot out of these kind of "understandings".  Funny how just having a mental model of it can help you navigate through it as it occurs, in any endeavour.

Love to hear more analytical-type wisdom - I know some guys dont resonate with it, for me it's killer though.  

btw a cool book with a shitload of similar useful understandings (mainly business-related, but alot of human performance and systems-thinking in there too) is "The Personal MBA" by Josh Kaufman
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#13
Rockefeller

Rockefeller

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/31/2012 | Posts: 131

Good stuff. I was waiting for you to do a video on the overlaps between poker and game or like you said anything that involves chance. Like you said the key to overcoming short-term randomness is getting hundreds of reference experiences. 
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#14
zippykremlin

zippykremlin

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2011 | Posts: 530

It's funny Todd, about your first video. I started game when I lived with my MOM and learned how to pull in my car. It became so easy and normal for me that now that I live alone I have MORE trouble getting girls to my house!
I guess I learned early on that girls LOVE public sex and I LOVED and love the adventures of pulling it off in my car or where ever. I've had sex in some very risky situations (only been caught once... or technically twice).
 
I'm always afraid that my house is too dirty or she'll be wierded by my roomates. Or that my tiny bed is not comfy enough to fit the both of us on it, and how I'm gonna kick her out. It's easy to kick a girl out when you had sex in the car, it's called drop her ass off.

I was at this free tour btw, and you really gave me very on point advice that has seriously helped me, especially when you said if you 'almost' have sex with a girl and don't she might not call you back ever again. Eye opening.
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#15
Todd

Todd

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1350

We will probably have San Francisco events in the future, but not this Saturday because we didn't get enough people stepping up to be local contacts, and because Jeffy is in Canada.  We are only doing events where we have confirmed local contacts who are willing to have their phone numbers available to other members.  That way we can ensure that people are able find one another and meet up.
Alphamode wrote:
What about San Francisco?
Todd wrote:
But first off, I want to tell EVERYONE that the first FREE Inner Circle event is this Saturday, so if you are in any of the following cities, I recommend you go check it out. It is a 100% FREE EVENT where you can meet up with local RSD contacts for dinner and go out together afterwards. Here are the cities where we are organizing:

Amsterdam
Rotterdam
Melbourne
Montreal
Boston
New York
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Toronto
London
Chicago
Sydney
Tel Aviv

So again, come out and check it out, it’s totally and completely free. You can also find your local group on facebook, or email me at todd@realsocialdynamics.com with any questions you may have about the program.
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#16
Frank128

Frank128

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/30/2011 | Posts: 200

dude 2nd video was awesome, I like poker so it was fun the analogy
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#17

StuBeDo

Member

Join Date: 10/10/2012 | Posts: 77

That's really good Todd; Sounds like understanding variance and tilt is a good counter to the homeostasis I'm feeling at the moment, post bootcamp.

Funny; with wealth I've always followed the idea of "become a millionare not for the money, but for the man you will have to become to achieve it", but I've never applied that to game until recently. D'oh!! Game really is something you are rather than something you do isn't it.

Hey, I am still fearful about my (nieve) friends who know I'm a PUA and expect me never to crash and burn!! Haha!!!

Thanks
StuBeDo
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#18

StuBeDo

Member

Join Date: 10/10/2012 | Posts: 77

 Really looking forward to the London Inner Circle dinner on Saturday btw. Awesome!!
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#19

perfection

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/11/2012 | Posts: 23

Todd will you be doing any events/teachings out side of the states eg. Australia?
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#20
Todd

Todd

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1350

I'll be doing 3 weeks in Australia (Sydney and Melbourne) in late January including a regional conference even in Sydney on Jan 26.
perfection wrote:
Todd will you be doing any events/teachings out side of the states eg. Australia?
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#21

Neocortex

Member

Join Date: 07/05/2009 | Posts: 47

 Todd you need to bring yo ass back to Pittsburgh... which company did you do your presentation for??

Or better yet you and all the instructors should start doing Hotseat/Free Tour events here. I would definitely be in attendance
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#22
Mountaineer-~

Mountaineer-~

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/07/2011 | Posts: 360

awesome stuff!
BUT PLEASE SPEAK A LITTLE BIT SLOWER. especially in the beginning take your time to start talking. guess your concepts would reach the audience significantly better this way! ;-)
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#23
Todd

Todd

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1350

Yeah, I've been noticing that too.  Guess it's something to work on.  Thanks
Mountaineer- wrote:
awesome stuff!
BUT PLEASE SPEAK A LITTLE BIT SLOWER. especially in the beginning take your time to start talking. guess your concepts would reach the audience significantly better this way! ;-)
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#24
Slade

Slade

Member

Join Date: 12/31/2007 | Posts: 43

 Loved it. The second video reminded me of your Mastermind from a few years ago: "I would rather do everything right and still lose than do everything wrong and succeed" (Paraphrasing). That one meant a lot to me. 

Thanks, man.
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#25
Anthony John

Anthony John

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/20/2011 | Posts: 131

 I have terrible speach and communication skills, but I am doing something about it.
I learned that taking speach classes and singing lessons help.  These both are things that will also help step out of your comfort zone.  I just recently joined a class called Toast Masters where we meet once a week and critique each other on our speach.  It helps!
Also, I like how you relate your material not only to Game but Life in general.  Watching your rsd videos really help motivate me to be an overall successful man.
So with that being said, Thank You Very Much!  teeth
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#26
xJohnnyBlackx

xJohnnyBlackx

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/14/2011 | Posts: 2

 Pocker analogy was great actually and helped me to no be so outcome dependent. 
Great video Todd, actually I hate gambling and was skeptical about the video, but to be honest - nothing hit me 
on a such deep level about outcome dependence than this one!
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