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The evil Ego. It is in my mind and as far as I know it is also in everyone's else. I am not sure if one can totally get rid of it and use solely pure self esteem. I have the glow inside, the power to control my emotions in most scenarios and life situations and I feel good, really good; but there is still some emotions that I do not know if I should call them negative: fury, pride, a drive for competition, anger, etc. that I think are a result of my ego trying to build its self esteem.
Even though I give value wherever I go there is always a flame of competition in the back of my mind, a drive to put other guys down and emerge victorious after the "pick-up war". What is this thing? Why do I feel that? How do I avoid it if all I want to do is to give value and togetherness?
Testosterone. A male hormone that inspires competition and less socialization. Could it be the explanation to it all?
The male nature is to be aggressive, dominant and to compete against other males, but to be attractive one has to get rid of this "need to be the best". In other words, one has to get rid of ego validation. But is it possible to do that when our brain is being bombarded by testosterone, especially when meeting women and following our path? I would say it is impossible. Nature vs Nurture, no argument. But what we can do is to make our nature work in our favor.
The default state is happiness. The moment we are present and forget time (past and future) we feel absolutely, 100% great. We can condition ourselves to tap into this happiness. It is fucking awesome, you can take the glow everywhere you go. But in my experience there is a problem. The glow is there, time is gone and there is only the nimbus and the moment, but there is a third element which I cannot get rid of no matter how much I try, and that's the need to compete. I have little experience with this new mindset so in the future all this could be irrelevant, but for now I will indulge myself in my theory.
We are human. Self aware, conscious mammals who know how to think better than other species out there. We struggle between nature and consciousness. Our brain is telling us to live life by instinct but our reason is telling us to live by social conditioning, therefore the ego. I do not think one can erase ego from the mind. It is part of our intelligence and absolutely necessary for creating an identity. But it is when left unchecked that problems arise. One can identify with the ego and forget that self esteem is the default emotion, that is when, according to Tyler, we go on an "ego feeding frenzy" validating our false identity in ridiculous unnecessary ways.
But we can use this need for validation on our favor. Beware though, one has to recognize and truly believe that self esteem is all there is before using the ego as a tool for motivation.
I said before that the male nature is competitive, aggressive and dominant. That is why on the field there is that "dark energy" emerging when we see other guys approaching girls we really like. I have controlled it and can almost totally erase those feelings but I've noticed that when I do that I end up on a beta role. Last week I tried tapping into those competitive feelings to see what happens.
There were five girls sitting by the dance floor bored out of their minds, guys were going in but getting rejected instantly, the girls did not respond and they looked sort of angry, one of them was falling asleep. In short it was a difficult set. I went into state and opened them with a friend, the girls got in state and started dancing with us. By this point all of this is normal, I was not threatened by any guys because when one takes over the club guys go in spectator mode as Tim would say, but then something happened, a first time for me. While we were dancing and talking with this five girls a pack of five creepy guys came and started dancing with the girls on the five set that were alone. I stayed with my girl and my friend with hers, the other three girls were in state so it was really easy for this guys to open them. It was lame. That is when I decided to tap into the "dark force" (haha)
The fury.
Now I feel competitive, I want to push those guys out of "my territory" and violent thoughts start crossing my mind. Of course I would never, ever do something so stupid as to start a fight but I balance this thoughts with the woo and I get this new powerful emotion in me. I feel the intent, no one can stop me. I keep talking to my girl but while she is answering my questions and laughing I see how her attention is going towards her friends with the creepy chodes. The friends are bored, this guys were creeping me out, imagine how the girls felt surrounded by five guys staring at them, yuck! The eye codes start and in two minutes the girls are leaving the venue.
Before, I used to say "oh well, another learning experience" But not this time, I am burning with aggression inside and I will not let this guys ruin this for me, I keep saying to myself "I am better!" So as I see them leave I get up and run behind them.
They are outside now, I yell their names and none of them even slows down. My chode self says "its over man... time to go home man..." But no! I will not let those creepy guys win, "I am better!!" I yell to myself and walk faster catching up with the honeys, I plow through massive bitch shields and after making them laugh I get the phone number of one of the girls. Victory, I feel glorious. The creeps did not win.
The next day I call and is a solid phone number, not a fake nor flake, another first time for me. I feel even more glorious but as I am shining with emotion jumping through the room on one foot and yelling I am number 1!! (it is obviously an exaggeration) I stop and think IS THIS AND EGO TRIP?? Am I validating my ego right now?
And that's how this post came into existence.
So in conclusion: there is an ego and I do not think one can erase it. Rather, I prefer to use it as a tool for motivation by tapping into the need to compete and "put down" the other guy but keeping crystal clear the fact that this is just a mental tool and that the real place to be in is pure self esteem. Even though I called those other guys creepy and wanted to push them around they still have a place in my world as people deserving of my friendship and value.
Even though I give value wherever I go there is always a flame of competition in the back of my mind, a drive to put other guys down and emerge victorious after the "pick-up war". What is this thing? Why do I feel that? How do I avoid it if all I want to do is to give value and togetherness?
Testosterone. A male hormone that inspires competition and less socialization. Could it be the explanation to it all?
The male nature is to be aggressive, dominant and to compete against other males, but to be attractive one has to get rid of this "need to be the best". In other words, one has to get rid of ego validation. But is it possible to do that when our brain is being bombarded by testosterone, especially when meeting women and following our path? I would say it is impossible. Nature vs Nurture, no argument. But what we can do is to make our nature work in our favor.
The default state is happiness. The moment we are present and forget time (past and future) we feel absolutely, 100% great. We can condition ourselves to tap into this happiness. It is fucking awesome, you can take the glow everywhere you go. But in my experience there is a problem. The glow is there, time is gone and there is only the nimbus and the moment, but there is a third element which I cannot get rid of no matter how much I try, and that's the need to compete. I have little experience with this new mindset so in the future all this could be irrelevant, but for now I will indulge myself in my theory.
We are human. Self aware, conscious mammals who know how to think better than other species out there. We struggle between nature and consciousness. Our brain is telling us to live life by instinct but our reason is telling us to live by social conditioning, therefore the ego. I do not think one can erase ego from the mind. It is part of our intelligence and absolutely necessary for creating an identity. But it is when left unchecked that problems arise. One can identify with the ego and forget that self esteem is the default emotion, that is when, according to Tyler, we go on an "ego feeding frenzy" validating our false identity in ridiculous unnecessary ways.
But we can use this need for validation on our favor. Beware though, one has to recognize and truly believe that self esteem is all there is before using the ego as a tool for motivation.
I said before that the male nature is competitive, aggressive and dominant. That is why on the field there is that "dark energy" emerging when we see other guys approaching girls we really like. I have controlled it and can almost totally erase those feelings but I've noticed that when I do that I end up on a beta role. Last week I tried tapping into those competitive feelings to see what happens.
There were five girls sitting by the dance floor bored out of their minds, guys were going in but getting rejected instantly, the girls did not respond and they looked sort of angry, one of them was falling asleep. In short it was a difficult set. I went into state and opened them with a friend, the girls got in state and started dancing with us. By this point all of this is normal, I was not threatened by any guys because when one takes over the club guys go in spectator mode as Tim would say, but then something happened, a first time for me. While we were dancing and talking with this five girls a pack of five creepy guys came and started dancing with the girls on the five set that were alone. I stayed with my girl and my friend with hers, the other three girls were in state so it was really easy for this guys to open them. It was lame. That is when I decided to tap into the "dark force" (haha)
The fury.
Now I feel competitive, I want to push those guys out of "my territory" and violent thoughts start crossing my mind. Of course I would never, ever do something so stupid as to start a fight but I balance this thoughts with the woo and I get this new powerful emotion in me. I feel the intent, no one can stop me. I keep talking to my girl but while she is answering my questions and laughing I see how her attention is going towards her friends with the creepy chodes. The friends are bored, this guys were creeping me out, imagine how the girls felt surrounded by five guys staring at them, yuck! The eye codes start and in two minutes the girls are leaving the venue.
Before, I used to say "oh well, another learning experience" But not this time, I am burning with aggression inside and I will not let this guys ruin this for me, I keep saying to myself "I am better!" So as I see them leave I get up and run behind them.
They are outside now, I yell their names and none of them even slows down. My chode self says "its over man... time to go home man..." But no! I will not let those creepy guys win, "I am better!!" I yell to myself and walk faster catching up with the honeys, I plow through massive bitch shields and after making them laugh I get the phone number of one of the girls. Victory, I feel glorious. The creeps did not win.
The next day I call and is a solid phone number, not a fake nor flake, another first time for me. I feel even more glorious but as I am shining with emotion jumping through the room on one foot and yelling I am number 1!! (it is obviously an exaggeration) I stop and think IS THIS AND EGO TRIP?? Am I validating my ego right now?
And that's how this post came into existence.
So in conclusion: there is an ego and I do not think one can erase it. Rather, I prefer to use it as a tool for motivation by tapping into the need to compete and "put down" the other guy but keeping crystal clear the fact that this is just a mental tool and that the real place to be in is pure self esteem. Even though I called those other guys creepy and wanted to push them around they still have a place in my world as people deserving of my friendship and value.