RyanForReal

Ryan®
 
 Hey Fellas,

Today I want to delve into the importance and benefits of a healthy lifestyle. I know, I know… no one likes to be told “go to the gym” but today I actually want to approach it from a psychological angle and explore the immediate psychological benefits and social impact a healthy lifestyle yields.

The relative principal here is Cognitive Dissonance – (thank you to the kind folks at Wikipedia for the following definition)

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. The "ideas" or "cognitions" in question may include attitudes and beliefs, and also the awareness of one's behavior. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, or by justifying or rationalizing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

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Or to put simply: anytime your actions are not in line with your beliefs your brain is not happy.

Well, this simple semi-obvious holds a special relevance us that does not apply to most people. See, essentially when learning this game our challenge is to re-wire our brains as much as possible over as short a time-span as possible so as to align our thought patterns with those that are naturally attractive. In essence, to form new beliefs and identifications that are not necessarily justified by prior teachings, or more importantly, reference experience.

A common trait among those who excel in this game is a high degree of cognitive mastery – an ability to actively shape their thoughts and beliefs based on what will serve them, as opposed to what meshes with their existing understanding and experience. Or essentially an ability to convince themselves of what they believe will be useful.

Now when it comes to success in dating, what are some essential core beliefs? What are the catch phrases people are affirming and reaffirming to themselves?

“I’m the shit!”
“I’m the man”
“I deserve this”
“She’s for me”
“She should be with me?”
“I’m the highest value person in this room”

Ok, most likely you’re not actively repeating these to yourself… but there’s no doubt these beliefs are inherent to a high-value mindset held by a naturally attractive guy and ALL are representative of a single core belief – a level of self-value.

Here’s where cognitive dissonance comes in… I hate to break it to you, but if you’re sitting in your basement from Monday to Thursday playing World of Warcraft and eating Cheetos it’s going to be impossible to step to a hottie on Friday and feel “I deserve this”…

Fact is… it’s impossible to successfully and consistently pick up girls without first feeling good about yourself. And guess what… cognitive dissonance means that it’s impossible to feel good about yourself without behaving like you feel good about yourself… like you like yourself…like you value yourself.

What does it mean to behave in a way that indicates you like yourself… that you value yourself?

Suppose you value your car… You’re probably washing it regularly, putting premium gas in it, taking it for checkups, rotating the tires, etc.

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Well, you’re no different. When you value yourself - or at the very lease you don’t hate yourself - you’re going to make an effort to care for yourself… this means being at least minimally conservative with what you put in your body – eating at least decently healthy, taking in fruits and vegetables, cutting down on junk food. Beyond that comes maintaining a minimal level of physical activity. Personal hygiene and present-ability also fall into this category.

Beyond that, what you do for YOU is determined by just how much you value YOU. Here we move beyond simply caring for and maintaining yourself and into the realm of actively improving oneself. Things like adhering to a schedule, going to the gym, eating healthy breakfasts, pursuing activities that develop you physically, mentally, or spiritually. Taking classes, travelling, enriching your life.

I’ll tell you, I honestly do not know a single person who holds themselves in high regard who does not engage in the above activities.

Now, as you read this, sit up straight, roll your shoulders back, and SMILE. How do you feel… a little happier?? The effect here is ‘psychosomatic’ – or a backwards rationalization from the mind based on the body. The mind says “Hey look at that, I’m sitting up and smiling…. Usually I do this when I’m happy, well I’m doing it now so I must be happy”.

Well, in this case, you spend your day productively – you eat a healthy breakfast, hit the gym, learn something, accomplish something, and all the sudden you’re brain is bombarded with evidence that you’re WORTH something. Then you go out, start that interaction and suddenly you feel a new strength in your own identity… you carry yourself with a sense of value, with a sense of self-worth.

On a personal level, if I roll out of bed at 2pm, throw on some dirty sweats (possibly stained from the meatball sub I ate 3 nights before), and head out to get some grease breakfast from the 24hour diner… there is absolutely no way I can “turn on the game” and socialize effectively. It’s got nothing to do with the way I look… it’s got everything to do with the way I feel.

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And on the flipside, when I’m living in alignment – with the way I treat myself reaffirming the way I feel about myself, the world can tell and responds accordingly.

Ultimately, the way I feel is derived from that over-arching sense of self-worth that’s either their or not there depending on the physical evidence I spend all day every day acquiring.

Are you worth it? Are you behaving like it?

If you think you’re brain is going to let these two exist in misalignment, you’re in for a rude awakening. So choose your answer and solidify it… both internally and externally.

Cheers,
Ryan
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Comments

#51

MockingMarkup

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/21/2010 | Posts: 1

Great article. +1
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#52
xlxgnarkillxlx

xlxgnarkillxlx

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 11

yes yes yes! LOVE the pic with the cat and the lion haha
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#53

tejas

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 5

 i think im sexually attracted to that plate of food.
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#54
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1574

So much value.. 100% congruence starts with valuing yourself.
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#55

sant114

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/25/2010 | Posts: 2

 Medicine for the soul, sometimes we need someone to remember us this stuff in order to be back on track. Thanks Ryan
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#56
TheGP1

TheGP1

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/13/2010 | Posts: 2

 Wow! very intresting!
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#57
blu3boy

blu3boy

Member

Join Date: 10/10/2010 | Posts: 54

Really good article bro,

Im doing a degree in sports psychology, soo to the doubters out there.... living a healthy lifestyle really does effect who you are. Ive read soo many articles and seen many people change with thier new lifestyles its not funny soo take it under consideration doubters.

Anyone who needs some help with mainting exercise whether it be motivation, guidlines, timeframes or some new exercises for a raging new 6 pac, hit me up i'll give you some tips

Good luck sarging peeps :D

Why cant everyone be Blu3 ?
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#58
NineNineSeven

NineNineSeven

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/17/2010 | Posts: 21

I like the comic strip... I thought the same about my job. That's why I'm going for my Cisco CCNA certification and moving to a more populated area.thumbs up

Granted, it doesn't take money to attract women per se; at least not like the Nice Guy thinks you do. However, if you're living in an outhouse and getting around on a tricycle, it's going to be pretty hard to be pulling in hotties every night. I find there's two ways one could go... either work towards changing the situation or accept them as they are.  I'd rather be my own man than somebody else's boy... shades
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#59

iCantStop

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/17/2010 | Posts: 4

10/10 really amazing and helpful article - gave me great insight into a fact I already knew but lost touch with.
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#60

Jarno

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/25/2010 | Posts: 609

thanks dude i have this problem very much, my dad died 3years ago.. and after that i felt like i needed to be perfect (to protect myself from feeling feelings i think, especially insecurity)
so whenever i did go out and a normal thought or insecure feeling popped up(which is normal and every human has it), i focussed on it so much and i thought : look.. i am not perfect.. i AM insecure, and i was gonna identify myself with my (little insecure totally normal feeling what normally only lasts for 3 seconds or something).. then i came in a very insecure state where i didnt felt any emotions at all..
had much therapy etc, nothing really helped.. now im stuck @ my house all day doing nothing for almost 3years, only searching for help and answers.
now i know what my problem is and im gonna live on my own and also with help from other shrinks etc.. gonna fix it. i hope it will work because i now know what exactly the problem is.
and i think that if i use the dellusional sense of coolness of tim, together with accepting that everyone has these insecuritys and they only last for a few seconds, and it doesnt affect my coolness.. when i feel a little insecure feeling, that i say : ok, thats a part of being human, i'm still the coolest muthafucka.. so i accept it and replace the insecurity with positive thinking again and it floats away.

i know this very good in theory but practical its very hard.. im gonna try : cognitive behavioural therapy dont know if you have heard about it ?

if anyone has ideas on my problem i would love to hear it :)

Thanks, and big up to RSD !!
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#61

Jarno

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/25/2010 | Posts: 609

my dad died 3years ago.. and after that i felt like i needed to be perfect (to protect myself from feeling feelings i think, especially insecurity)
so whenever i did go out and a normal thought or insecure feeling popped up(which is normal and every human has it), i focussed on it so much and i thought : look.. i am not perfect.. i AM insecure, and i was gonna identify myself with my (little insecure totally normal feeling what normally only lasts for 3 seconds or something).. then i came in a very insecure state where i didnt felt any emotions at all..
had much therapy etc, nothing really helped.. now im stuck @ my house all day doing nothing for almost 3years, only searching for help and answers.
now i know what my problem is and im gonna live on my own and also with help from other shrinks etc.. gonna fix it. i hope it will work because i now know what exactly the problem is.
and i think that if i use the dellusional sense of coolness of tim, together with accepting that everyone has these insecuritys and they only last for a few seconds, and it doesnt affect my coolness.. when i feel a little insecure feeling, that i say : ok, thats a part of being human, i'm still the coolest muthafucka.. so i accept it and replace the insecurity with positive thinking again and it floats away.

i know this very good in theory but practical its very hard.. im gonna try : cognitive behavioural therapy dont know if you have heard about it ?

if anyone has ideas on my problem i would love to hear it :)

Thanks, and big up to RSD !!
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#62

Jarno

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/25/2010 | Posts: 609

sorry, i posted it twice because i thought it wasnt posted lol
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#63

Waginator

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/10/2011 | Posts: 271

Thank YOU!
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#64
Starchild.

Starchild.

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/17/2011 | Posts: 450

 Really good article 
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