RyanForReal

Alright Guys, lets get a little advanced here…

Firstly, if you’re not pulling at least with moderate regularity (say once a month), this article isn’t for you. For those of you that are… lets get to it.

You’re in the club, it’s 1am, club is in full roar, DJ blazing the latest club hit (for the second time of the night):



Girl presses herself against you, kisses your neck. You take a swig from your vodka Redbull before another makeout. Yes, It’s On.



You: Ay, after-party at my place… drinks!

The DJ keeps on it… now it’s T.I.’s Whatever You Like.

Girl: Oh my God I LOVE this song! Dance with me!

And she’s sexy. So you dance.

And you keep dancing.

And now the club is closing.

You: After party, woooo, SKO!

Girl: I wanna dance, is there anywhere still open?

And now you’re asking the bouncers about after hours clubs… I think Pink Elephant is still open…

Except you don’t want to go to Pink Elephant, you wanna go home…

You: After party at my place! Drinks and Wii Tenis! After party SKO!

Girl: Your place? Is it close?

You: Yeah, it’s right up there, Sko, SKO! TAXI!

Girl: Christine, we’re going to the after party!

Of course “right up there” is extremely relative… but irrelevant because now we’re on track, it’s we’re ON.
Or are you? … Here’s where things go pear-shaped.

You: Excuse me, Driver, could you turn on some music?



And you get to your place and play bartender with whatever you can rummage up… cheap vodka and mango juice it is…

And the girl is bouncing around like a… well… like a girl who just left the club expecting an after party.



She’s waking up your roommates and has commandeered your laptop to play for you all her favorite Taylor Swift songs. She takes periodic breaks from the playlist to text friends. And her phone is ringing…

“What? No I’m just hanging out at…hold on, what’s your name again?? Yeah we’re hanging out drinking… ok hold on… Hey do you mind if my friend Sarah comes over? She’s really cool, you’ll like her.”

Of course she neglects to mention that Sarah’s been comfort-eating herself to sleep for the past 4 months after being dumped by her ex because of her 3 way affair with Ben and Jerry…

But that doesn’t matter because you tell her that it’s better that Sarah not come because your roommates have asked you to keep it down.

And you start making out. And she gets up to change the song.

And you make out. And she pauses you to send an important text.

And you stand behind her and pull her tight against you. And she kisses you. And she walks across the room to pick up her drink.

And you’re losing it, and you know it. You lay down as she walks around the room feigning interest in the assorted keepsakes you’ve collected from along your journey, pausing periodically to tweak the playlist.

Her: Do you know any clubs that are still open?

And in a last ditch effort you pull her down onto the bed with you and try to dry hump her into submission, thinking if you get her horny enough she’ll sleep with you. But that never works as you already know.

So where did it start going wrong?

Well, like anyone with an elementary understanding of game, you understand that Energy Begets Compliance. The higher the energy level, the more compliance you get. That’s why it’s easier to pull to the bar or makeout on a “WHAT!?!? You’re crazy! Let’s get drinks!” than it is on a “Hey, I’m thirsty, come with me to the bar…”

As the night progresses, you’re trying to lay the foundations for a pull – moving her around the bar, physically escalating, etc – ideally varying the energy level as needed to maintain positive compliance. Problem is, as you get more excited by the increasing attraction and compliance she’s throwing at you, and the notion of pulling becomes more and more likely, you naturally get excited and start making bolder moves. Your increased excitement, as well as the boldness of your moves leads you to game at a higher energy level… which seems fine at the time because it only increases her interest in you, but ultimately sets you up for difficulty later.

Because the girl is now state-pumped she’s going to be having a lot of fun in the club, seeing you as an integral piece of those positive high emotions. Sounds good except now pulling becomes a lot tougher… you’re essentially stuck at the club until it starts winding down. Consider…

You: Woooo, let’s dance!
Her: Yaaayy! You’re amazing!
You: …SKO, back to my place!

It just simply doesn’t make sense… if you’re having this much fun in the club at such a high state, why would you leave the club for a deflated state? The simple act of trying to pull here is in direct contradiction to the vibe you’ve spent all night building. The pull is therefore dependant on either state preservation or continued state enhancement – either “I know another club that’s even better!” or “This place is winding down, after party!”

So if you do manage to leave before closing time, you’re likely headed to another even louder more hectic club… or more likely, you’re at this club until closing, when if you do leave with her it’s under the pretext of either finding another club still open, or (best case) under the pretext of keeping the high energy state going with an after party at your place.

Because her feelings toward you are anchored to that high energy state, you’re essentially bound to it in the cab ride home – simply preserving the vibe while in transit. And you get to your place and that vibe is still there… she wants to listen to music, dance around, show you videos, the works… Maybe you hook up, maybe you don’t, either way, you took the easy road earlier and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass…

The Lesson: Pull Down

I’ll be the first to admit, it’s very tempting to state-pump a girl and from there to utilize the compliance to move forward – even if it is counter-productive down the line.

Instead, more and more these days when I’m with a girl and it’s on, my focus becomes to PULL DOWN. That is, actively pace and lead the energy level to as low a point as I can and sustain it there. I’ve still got the flexibility to spike up, but I’ll only do this if I absolutely need to, instead opting to ride out the low and even negative vibe to facilitate the pull.

So at 12:00 while other guys are yelling “Woooo, Let’s Dance!”

I’m saying “Aw man… this is all a bit much for me, I need a drink”

And at 12:30 when other guys are yelling “Woooo, let’s go to the bar!”

I’m saying “Christ, I’m pretty tired, come with me to the other room where we can sit and it’s quieter”



And at 1:00 when other guys are wondering what the hell to do when the girl is spastically jumping around with her friends after being re-united with ‘Girls Night’, I’m isolated in the corner saying something like:

Me: Look, this club isn’t for either of us tonight, let’s just get out of here… we really don’t need to be here anymore.
Girl: But where will we go?
Me: Doesn’t matter, I just really can’t be here anymore…

So when we’re in the cab, there’s no assumption of an after party, no crazy texting to see where’s still open. And by the time we get back to my house, there’s no need for Wii Tennis or cocktails… it’s fully congruent for me to simply climb into bed and let her follow.

That’s it. Efficiency of Movement.

Pull Down.

Cheers,
Ryan
www.twitter.com/RyanRSD