RyanForReal

 
Call me old fashioned but the colder it gets outside the less inspired I am to suit up and hit the streets in search of a fleeting tryst. Because of this, one must find more sustainable ways of keeping the bed warm – as such, this winter can aptly be renamed Girlfriend Season.



I always get a kick on bootcamp when guys say things like “Ryan, this is all good an well for getting the same night lay… but I’m in this to get a girlfriend”.

Or even better, I want to take a bootcamp but I don’t want to go to clubs because I don’t want to meet my girlfriend in a club. Duhhhrrr. Well… I’m looking for a boxing gym – my boxing ambitions hardly extend to becoming the next Floyd Mayweather, but I’m still looking for the best gym I can to train in the most efficient way possible.

Wimp

Simply put – to every excuse-monger who’s uttered BS like “I wanna learn girlfriend game, I’m not interested in one night stand game” – I ask you this… Do you really think if you can get a girl into you enough to sleep with you that night, she won’t return your calls the next day?? Really??? Or do you really think that if you can step into a legit nightclub, run train and pull a girl, that stepping into Starbucks the next day and pulling an instadate won’t be a complete joke??

What I’m getting at is: simply put, the best way to get a girlfriend is to have tight game…period! The best way to develop tight game is to hit the club. Period.

OK, rant over.

So, you’re out, nightclub or café, you meet a girl, you vibe, she likes you, you start thinking “Winter Girlfriend”. The first step to spring-boarding your relationship is knowing that whether you’re looking for a one-time shag or a girlfriend. The process is identical from ‘hello’ to lay. That is to say, any myths about taking it slower with a potential GF are complete bullshit… yes, I said it.

As such, this article is going to focus on the differences after the lay… essentially how to go from 1-time hookup to Winter Girlfriend.

Winter Girlfriend

The biggest piece behind the girlfriend transition is bringing the girl into your life. The more you pull her into your unique world, the more she’ll want to explore around it and possibly make herself comfortable.

So for instance, after sex with a one-night stand, I’ll happily lay in bed resting for an hour before shagging her again and then politely walking her out. With Winter Girlfriend, I immediately move on from sex into some other ‘my world’ centric activity. Example: I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together - so after sex I’ll pretty quickly throw the girl a pair of my boxer shorts and one of my shirts and have her come hang out in the living room to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Also, my livingroom has a big shaggy white carpet, so we lay on that and drink wine.

Audrey Hepburn

Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.

From there, maybe the girl spends the night, maybe not. BUT, if she does, come morning time she’s going to be on my program. This means she’s waking up at 11:00 whether she wants to or not. Also, being pretty health conscience I eat healthy – albeit gross – breakfasts, typically something like egg whites, spinach, and flax seed oil. Guess what… the girl is having breakfast with me. Again, the girl is experiencing something pretty unique to my world (I’m sure tons of other guys eat this as well, but I’m also sure none of those guys have ever made egg-whites for 2 and insisted that she eat it because ‘eating healthy is important’).

From there, if she’s still with me and I need to drop off my dry cleaning… guess what we’re doing together? Not only are we doing it together, but the whole time I’m filling her in on all the past drycleaners I’ve used, who typically does a good job, and which of my shirts need to be dry cleaned versus which can simply be laundered.

Does she care? Yes and no. Me taking the time to educate her on how I like my dry cleaning done sends a pretty powerful message… the fact that I’m investing my time and effort in teaching her about me implies we’re going to have a future together.

On the flip side, I think about how I would have handled this situation a few years ago. Say by some miracle I did manage to sleep with a girl, the next morning would look more like “hey, so what would you like for breakfast? We can get whatever you want smile “. “So what’s your schedule today? Ohhhh, I’ll totally come to Bed, Bath & Beyond with you…” Then I’d wonder why the girl wouldn’t see me again… :-/

So, piece number 1 – bringing her into YOUR world, allowing her nesting instincts to kick in once she’s there.

And piece number 2 – building DAILY relevance. With a girl I just want to shag from time-to-time, I’ll maybe send 1 text every 2 or 3 days. When I’m transitioning into Winter Girlfriend, I’m shooting anywhere from 5 to 20 texts daily. Talking about my lunch, how I’m annoyed with my roommate, how I’m procrastinating sitting down and doing work, how I’m thinking dirty thoughts about her… you get the point.

Simply put, I build myself into the girl’s daily life to the point that we actually become real friends, to the point that we’re actually getting to know each other on a day-to-day basis, and to the point that she actually associates a part of work with texting with me, and thinks of me when riding the train, and having coffee, and hanging with her friends.

So, in short – the 3 pieces are:

1.) Run solid game to being with.
2.) Bring her into your world as much as possible. Let her walk a few steps in your shoes.
3.) Text lots… build actual practical relevance in her world.

And you’re well on your way to having a Winter Girlfriend. Have fun, be merry, and don’t forget to plan something special for her birthday.

Cheers,
Ryan 
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Comments

#1
English Boy

English Boy

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Join Date: 11/02/2008 | Posts: 201

 what would you describe as solid game?
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#2
Abower

Abower

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Join Date: 08/26/2007 | Posts: 1857

When you actually do write, Ryan, you write amazing things.
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#3
Adam+

Adam+

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Join Date: 04/23/2008 | Posts: 103

great article thanks man......

getting the right transition does take time and calibration like everything else......thanks again.
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#4
Aaron87

Aaron87

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Join Date: 03/20/2009 | Posts: 142

Cool.
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#5
Lowdash

Lowdash

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/24/2007 | Posts: 542

Great article, Ryan.

I like how you talk about "the after" fornication ritual. How you integrate her into your world.

I especially like the unique movie, "healthy eats" and taking her on errands w. you like drycleaners. It communicates: "I have my shit together, and i'm not some schlub who watches reality TV all day" 


Cheers
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#6
Lowdash

Lowdash

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/24/2007 | Posts: 542

My "after lay" ritual is driving home, listening to Orbital - Halycon. I love that "afterglow" feeling- so peaceful, and calm, and content. It feels like everything is right w. the world. Sometimes ill hitup a coffee shop, or smoothie place, and flirt with the cute barrista(s), and sip on a freshly brewed cafe

"Ahhh... life is good" 



Cheers
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#7
Daniel

Daniel

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Join Date: 10/10/2008 | Posts: 1943

ITS AUSTRALIAN SUMMER,

the summer of same night fucking I guess itll have to be shades 
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#8
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

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Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 5038

Wow...Ryan fucking RULES.

I never bother showing the 'boring' shit in my life.  Who'd a thunk?  I'm a gonna have to be bringing (the special) chicks to watch me do jiu jitsu now.  And watch me read.  (j/k on the second one...)
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#9
CHERISH

CHERISH

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/09/2007 | Posts: 880

This article is great.

One of the key things for me was texting the girl everyday, just once or twice every day to stay fresh in her mind.
Also Facebook msgs to inbox where we could talk about things and I'd get to know more who she is.

I have an awesome girlfriend now and the sex is *good and often* plus she's real sweet caring etc and this could go on forever, I do not know :)  I do know she makes me feel very good!

The way I got my gf was just txting 'do u wanna be my gf' after lots of kclosing and obvious investment -- it was unexpected and a friend said it was "too soon" but its turned out great and I love it.  Making her GF makes everything a ton easier and changing the status on facebook, its like setting your intention and she can really think about it and will probably go along with it. 
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#10
zippetydragon

zippetydragon

Member

Join Date: 07/11/2009 | Posts: 45

looking for a boxing gym?  that's awesome bro!! ya i noticed a while back you were into jiu jitsu don't lie bro i know you were fucking sad as fuck when marcelo garcia left NYC!!! a little about me i just found out i'm gonna be sponsored by monster, which was my #1 pick so i'm glad that's out of the way...now i just gotta work on universal and extenze but that should be cake.  next time youre in vegas hit me up and we'll train homeslice!!
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#11
Getupa

Getupa

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Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

 thanks dude.
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#12

mcdlxxi

Member

Join Date: 09/22/2009 | Posts: 28

what i don't understand is how you can escalate so quickly and keep a girl around so easily. in the mind of a man, if he sleeps with a women very quickly (i.e. a week or less) he loses interest. fast. is this just a means to an end for the winter season or is there reason to believe this winter relationship can last longer?
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#13

pasinglet

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/30/2006 | Posts: 155

Quote:
I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together

I LOLed.






Quote:
Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.
I LOLed again. I dont know, but this sounds pretty queer to me...maybe there's a reason why other guys don't do this. LOL. But hey whatever floats your boat.
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#14
Jay®

Jay®

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Join Date: 01/06/2009 | Posts: 488

 Wow, great stuff.  Perfectly on point for me right now.
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#15
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 1730

"What I’m getting at is: simply put, the best way to get a girlfriend is to have tight game…period! The best way to develop tight game is to hit the club. Period."

Yup.
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#16

pringles

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 1006

English Boy wrote:
 what would you describe as solid game?
banging a girl, afterwards she wants to see you again to hang out and have sex

but it depends on what your goals are
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#17
Firewater

Firewater

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/17/2008 | Posts: 1384

Wow, if this article isn't about living your life in congruence, i don't know what is.


AWESOME.
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#18
JoBa

JoBa

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/28/2009 | Posts: 23

When you say the below in the article (below in italics), can you use the couple texts or so a day with someone you havent slept with or fooled around with (for instance only met once) to get into her daily life or would this come off annoying/bothersome if you dont have that physical relationship yet but trying to get it. (i.e. could it backfire)

Also what about daily life texts for a former FB that cut you off that you would like to rekindle but dont want lo put in lots of effort to get it back?

"And piece number 2 – building DAILY relevance. With a girl I just want to shag from time-to-time, I’ll maybe send 1 text every 2 or 3 days. When I’m transitioning into Winter Girlfriend, I’m shooting anywhere from 5 to 20 texts daily. Talking about my lunch, how I’m annoyed with my roommate, how I’m procrastinating sitting down and doing work, how I’m thinking dirty thoughts about her… you get the point."

"Simply put, I build myself into the girl’s daily life to the point that we actually become real friends, to the point that we’re actually getting to know each other on a day-to-day basis, and to the point that she actually associates a part of work with texting with me, and thinks of me when riding the train, and having coffee, and hanging with her friends
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#19
Synyster

Synyster

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Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

Golden...I fucking love it and this is what I need right now.
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#20

Ryan®

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

JoBa wrote:
When you say the below in the article (below in italics), can you use the couple texts or so a day with someone you havent slept with or fooled around with (for instance only met once) to get into her daily life or would this come off annoying/bothersome if you dont have that physical relationship yet but trying to get it. (i.e. could it backfire)

Also what about daily life texts for a former FB that cut you off that you would like to rekindle but dont want lo put in lots of effort to get it back?

"And piece number 2 – building DAILY relevance. With a girl I just want to shag from time-to-time, I’ll maybe send 1 text every 2 or 3 days. When I’m transitioning into Winter Girlfriend, I’m shooting anywhere from 5 to 20 texts daily. Talking about my lunch, how I’m annoyed with my roommate, how I’m procrastinating sitting down and doing work, how I’m thinking dirty thoughts about her… you get the point."

"Simply put, I build myself into the girl’s daily life to the point that we actually become real friends, to the point that we’re actually getting to know each other on a day-to-day basis, and to the point that she actually associates a part of work with texting with me, and thinks of me when riding the train, and having coffee, and hanging with her friends



Interesting question - i don't really take numbers from girls I haven't slept with, but in that situation I text lots but also build in LOTS of no responses...

So for instance, she innitiates text, I won't respond... maybe she texts again, i'll respond to that, and then I'll drop off again after she responds... Doing such is what allows the sexual tension to not be released...
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#21

Ryan®

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Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

JoBa wrote:
When you say the below in the article (below in italics), can you use the couple texts or so a day with someone you havent slept with or fooled around with (for instance only met once) to get into her daily life or would this come off annoying/bothersome if you dont have that physical relationship yet but trying to get it. (i.e. could it backfire)

Also what about daily life texts for a former FB that cut you off that you would like to rekindle but dont want lo put in lots of effort to get it back?

"And piece number 2 – building DAILY relevance. With a girl I just want to shag from time-to-time, I’ll maybe send 1 text every 2 or 3 days. When I’m transitioning into Winter Girlfriend, I’m shooting anywhere from 5 to 20 texts daily. Talking about my lunch, how I’m annoyed with my roommate, how I’m procrastinating sitting down and doing work, how I’m thinking dirty thoughts about her… you get the point."

"Simply put, I build myself into the girl’s daily life to the point that we actually become real friends, to the point that we’re actually getting to know each other on a day-to-day basis, and to the point that she actually associates a part of work with texting with me, and thinks of me when riding the train, and having coffee, and hanging with her friends



Interesting question - i don't really take numbers from girls I haven't slept with, but in that situation I text lots but also build in LOTS of no responses...

So for instance, she innitiates text, I won't respond... maybe she texts again, i'll respond to that, and then I'll drop off again after she responds... Doing such is what allows the sexual tension to not be released...
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#22

Ryan®

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Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

pasinglet wrote:










Quote:
I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together

I LOLed.






Quote:
Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.
I LOLed again. I dont know, but this sounds pretty queer to me...maybe there's a reason why other guys don't do this. LOL. But hey whatever floats your boat.
Reading your comment I LOL'd myself, like "haha he's right that is kinda gay..."

But then I thought - how queer can it really be considering I'm doing it with a hot girl i just fucked?
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#23
Papa

Papa

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 5353

Lol. Awesome article. I'm partaking in girlfriend season as well.
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#24

Ryan®

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

pasinglet wrote:










Quote:
I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together

I LOLed.






Quote:
Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.
I LOLed again. I dont know, but this sounds pretty queer to me...maybe there's a reason why other guys don't do this. LOL. But hey whatever floats your boat.
Reading your comment I LOL'd myself, like "haha he's right that is kinda gay..."

But then I thought - how queer can it really be considering I'm doing it with a hot girl i just fucked?
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#25
ArcticWolf

ArcticWolf

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/06/2009 | Posts: 99

Good ol post lol, i love winter. reminds me of when i used to skip off school with my ex and drive out in the woods on skidoo where i had an igloo built lol, and fry bacon and weiners over a fire and listen to music with the ipod thing ^ ^... and have sex, in the igloo. good times. perhaps i could do with another gf just for the winter sounds like a good idea to me, and its christmas!, Christmas is a time of year when the Inuit of Labrador put so many lights on the outside of their houses, that you dont know if they are celebrating the birth of jesus christ or NL hydro. lol peace
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#26

Slick85

Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 77

Even after I have hooked up with girls, I always get the feeling that 5-10 texts a day is "coming on too strong"... now I may be wrong but I don't feel like girls are into me enough to want to hang out with me that much, even the ones I sleep with it seems thats all they want and I don't want to mess it up... am I doing something wrong?
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#27
LegalSeagull

LegalSeagull

Member

Join Date: 07/28/2009 | Posts: 94

in my experience i did the "daily texts" and i got that girl that i hooked up with to be my girlfriend. Ironically back then i thought that was a mistake and that i should have stayed aloof with the 2-3 texts every other day. However i believe a lot of this still comes from the abundance mindset even though you are trying for a girlfriend, not because you are being need of course.

Great article, it helped me connect to my experience to you expert opinion
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#28
besserwisser

besserwisser

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Join Date: 07/28/2008 | Posts: 3090

Lesson is: 1. Be normal 2. Don't be a chode
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#29

Fingerman

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 775

Good stuff Ryan. I do all this stuff naturally because I fucking hate going into other people's world. Other people's worlds suck so much. Mine is much better. When I leave my world I feel lost, I don't know what to do, how to behave. When Im in my world Im free. I know where to go. I know what to do. I know how to act.

My world is so amazing. MY world is the only reason I am happy. Reality sucks. It really does. People waste their lifes working and dating people they dont like and blablabla. I escaped it a long time ago and I never want to do back to it.
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#30

Slick85

Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 77

ryan... could you help me out on my earlier question... they wanna hook up and stuff sometimes but how come I'm not getting them super interested in me, the only times I do is because of luck it seems but I feel like maybe I'm boring
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#31

Ryan®

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Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

Slick85 wrote:
ryan... could you help me out on my earlier question... they wanna hook up and stuff sometimes but how come I'm not getting them super interested in me, the only times I do is because of luck it seems but I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
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#32

Slick85

Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 77

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
ryan... could you help me out on my earlier question... they wanna hook up and stuff sometimes but how come I'm not getting them super interested in me, the only times I do is because of luck it seems but I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
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#33
TopgunAviator

TopgunAviator

Member

Join Date: 03/08/2009 | Posts: 58

 THANK YOU!

I was totally having troubles deciding to go into a relationship with a girl, but I'm afraid It'll cost my growth process. I'll try it this way, but I won't stop reading, and hitting the clubs occationally.
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#34

Ryan®

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

Slick85 wrote:

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
 I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
"I feel like maybe i'm being boring" - this is the problem...
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#35
Powerhouse

Powerhouse

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 1707

My roommates and I do stuff like this every now and then. Not Audrey Hepburn just damn good. Apocalypse Now, Patton, Godfather, Fantasia, 2001 A Space Odyssey, etc. Girls love getting fed, wine and cheese/chocolate, pizza and beer, cooking a full sized pig in a bbq pit. they're both just ways to bring her into your reality. If you don't watch good movies you might want to check it out but don't watch stuff that is "supposed" to be good that you don't like. 
pasinglet wrote:










Quote:
I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together

I LOLed.






Quote:
Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.
I LOLed again. I dont know, but this sounds pretty queer to me...maybe there's a reason why other guys don't do this. LOL. But hey whatever floats your boat.
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#36

Slick85

Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 77

yes but if I could tell they were MORE INTERESTED in me they I wouldnt get that feeling... I'm probably getting that feeling b/c they are bored... right?
Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
 I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
"I feel like maybe i'm being boring" - this is the problem...
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#37
Organ_Donor

Organ_Donor

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/01/2008 | Posts: 169

Slick85 wrote:
yes but if I could tell they were MORE INTERESTED in me they I wouldnt get that feeling... I'm probably getting that feeling b/c they are bored... right?
Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
 I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
"I feel like maybe i'm being boring" - this is the problem...

WOW!!!!!!!
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#38

Slick85

Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 77

LOL I know it sounds stupid but I can't help to feel that way! when girls are super interested they give a lot of IOIs act super playful etc... I feel im only getting women interested on a low-moderate level and feel I need to upp the attraction
Organ_Donor wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
yes but if I could tell they were MORE INTERESTED in me they I wouldnt get that feeling... I'm probably getting that feeling b/c they are bored... right?
Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
 I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
"I feel like maybe i'm being boring" - this is the problem...

WOW!!!!!!!


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#39

Ryan®

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

Awww, well wouldnt it be great if girls gave you all the validation you needed and that way you could be super confident and cool around them!?!?>!?

Sorry, doesn't work like that - classic chicken or the egg.
Slick85 wrote:
LOL I know it sounds stupid but I can't help to feel that way! when girls are super interested they give a lot of IOIs act super playful etc... I feel im only getting women interested on a low-moderate level and feel I need to upp the attraction
Organ_Donor wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
yes but if I could tell they were MORE INTERESTED in me they I wouldnt get that feeling... I'm probably getting that feeling b/c they are bored... right?
Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:

Ryan® wrote:

Slick85 wrote:
 I feel like maybe I'm boring
Think like a chode, get treated like a chode
ya okay... so where is my thinking going wrong? trying too hard to be alpha?
"I feel like maybe i'm being boring" - this is the problem...

WOW!!!!!!!



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#40

Bartle B

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/17/2007 | Posts: 303

Ryan® wrote:

Interesting question - i don't really take numbers from girls I haven't slept with, but in that situation I text lots but also build in LOTS of no responses...

So for instance, she innitiates text, I won't respond... maybe she texts again, i'll respond to that, and then I'll drop off again after she responds... Doing such is what allows the sexual tension to not be released...




You dont take numbers from girls you haven't slept with? Does that mean all the success you get are same night lays?

Coz I've long been having this problem where I'm getting tons of numbers but it doesn't go anywhere, with the occassional Day2s but a lot of flaes... what would you recommend? stop going for the number altogether?

Cheers...
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#41
ambassador_of_aloha

ambassador_of_aloha

Member

Join Date: 04/08/2008 | Posts: 44

Hilarious. This is standard practice where I'm from due to the lack of local girls. Shack up with a legit girl for the winter and hibernate. When tourist season rolls around there's plenty of quick lays to be had. As far as it ever being considered introducing her to "the boring routines" of your life. Wrong mentality... it's you it's never boring =)
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#42
Remmy

Remmy

Member

Join Date: 01/05/2010 | Posts: 72

But always remember
IF YOU ARE ATTACTCHED TO THE OUTCOME YOU WILL LOSE HER
Don't mention the future or chances are if shes a high value girl she will bolt. (Needy girls exceptions)
Obvious comment perhaps, but its easy to lose your mind when you've got a 10/10 girlfriend
And like Tyler says in The Blueprint and like I know first hand this is the WORST WAY to lose a girl because:
1/You feel you've choded yourself out - the power has switched (she's 'got' you).
2/ there really ain't no way back from it.
Remember
She fell for the fun loving guy that chatted her up, not an emotional chode!
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#43

Canello

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/23/2008 | Posts: 1261

Ryan® wrote:




What I’m getting at is: simply put, the best way to get a girlfriend is to have tight game…period! The best way to develop tight game is to hit the club. Period.


The best way to get a girlfriend is tight game.However tight game helps a little in the developing of a relationship.I know many guys who don't have game but they are cool,they have confidence and they have nice relationships with very hot girls.And i know guys that they can pull very constanlty but afterwards the girl leaves them.

There are two types of persons.Those who are cool,have confidence,are attractive etc and they use the pick up skills only as a process-to be able to meet girls threw cold approach- and there are other guys who pump their confidence because they are good at this game,they built a character threw game.If you are the second type of person then yes tight game is very important to keep a gf because without it you lose your identity.That's why many people when they are in a relationship they continue game in order to keep their confidence levels high.
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#44

PillowFire

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/11/2009 | Posts: 1032

I don't understand why you would "politely escort" a girl out after sex, or why you would take a girl with you to do your daily, monotonous chores such as dry cleaning. I can understand trying to get familiar with her. But too much of a good thing is not a good thing in many cases. A girlfriend is not the same thing as your guy friends who you "chill with." A girlfriend is someone I imagine seeing a few times a week and having some fun doing it. Not taking her to drop off your friggen dry cleaning or buy groceries. Does that sound like fun to you? No, personally, I don't care how cool of a guy you are, if you are going to take me to do these dull tasks every day, I will find someone else. Because if I wanted to wade through groceries, dry cleaning, or listen to some dude telling me about his clothing preferences, I could date any old guy. What makes you special?
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#45

PillowFire

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/11/2009 | Posts: 1032

Oh and I want to know why "it's you, it's never boring" (to quote an earlier reply) makes sense. This is unrealistic idealism. Just because you are a confident person, or know what you are doing in life, doesn't change reality. Routine stuff is routine stuff. I bet a girl will enjoy herself more with an "emotional chode" who at least knows how to set a good mood with a quality dinner made by him with nice, romantic music, and good company, than "supah puah ryan" who spouts gold and fluffy rainbows from every orifice at all moments of the day.

Confidence doesn't give you super powers. It makes you attractive, but when I use my head and imagine me being with a hot girl at the grocery store, I honestly don't feel too thrilled even if she is attractive to me. Buying groceries doesn't get me hot and bothered. Listening to a hot girl tell me about her dry cleaning doesn't do that either.
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#46

PillowFire

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/11/2009 | Posts: 1032

Triple post, sorry. But I also don't understand what "tight game" is. Attractive people are those with confidence, purpose. Therefore, helping guys get good with women should revolve around helping them gain confidence. And the best way to do that isn't by blowing trout and salmon shavings up their ass about how awesome they are despite in reality them being broke cheapskates with no job, no education, and nothing going for them.  The best method of giving a man purpose and confidence is to actually give him a tangible thing he can point to and be proud of. That means education, money, achievement. These are all things that one can be proud of because they help reinforce the notion that you have a purpose in life. It's not the things that you derive confidence from, but the fact that YOU did them. So, a life worth living is what will draw women, not your "tight game." I don't understand this at all. Is RSD about self improvement, or about a bunch of guys running "tight game" so they can rub genitals with a stranger.
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#47

Ryan®

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2007 | Posts: 914

PillowFire wrote:
Triple post, sorry. But I also don't understand what "tight game" is. Attractive people are those with confidence, purpose. Therefore, helping guys get good with women should revolve around helping them gain confidence. And the best way to do that isn't by blowing trout and salmon shavings up their ass about how awesome they are despite in reality them being broke cheapskates with no job, no education, and nothing going for them.  The best method of giving a man purpose and confidence is to actually give him a tangible thing he can point to and be proud of. That means education, money, achievement. These are all things that one can be proud of because they help reinforce the notion that you have a purpose in life. It's not the things that you derive confidence from, but the fact that YOU did them. So, a life worth living is what will draw women, not your "tight game." I don't understand this at all. Is RSD about self improvement, or about a bunch of guys running "tight game" so they can rub genitals with a stranger.
How much of what you posted is speculation and how much is from experience. When you write " bet a girl will enjoy herself more with an "emotional chode" who at least knows how to set a good mood with a quality dinner made by him with nice, romantic music, and good company" it leads me to conclude it's the former, rather than the latter. 

Personally, I have the luxury of not having to 'bet' and have learned from experience that sadly, and despite what hollywood may tell us, "romantic music" is not the way into a woman's heart. Anyway, give it a shot and let me know how it goes though ;-)

Cheers
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#48
ambassador_of_aloha

ambassador_of_aloha

Member

Join Date: 04/08/2008 | Posts: 44

 PillowFire... yes it is unrealistic... albeit a bit of a necessity for some.. confidence takes calibration just like anything else... for most people that got involved with this in the first place (me included) they possessed a lack of self-confidence when it came to picking up girls. I found that overshooting the line and reaching borderline arrogant then bringing it back down worked for me and I have seen it work for others. Hence unrealistic ideals such as this can be helpful. This is the nice thing about approaching girls in a manner like such.. rejection poses no risk of physical harm if you overshoot your ability level, unlike other "sports" like surfing where if you're over confident you can end up bouncing your face off the reef ;) As far as changing reality... to a certain extent I believe you shape your reality (somewhat of a quantum physics a la the secret etc type mentality ) The problem with the emotional chode mentality (and how this fits into the never boring deal) is that you lack the manliness that girls want, and in all honesty most chicks like that shit because it makes them feel "special." Majority of the time guys just fuck them and bail. For some odd reason society has turned most of mankind into a bunch of whiney pussies groveling at women's feet. This is what the emotional chode does and this will rarely get your chicks. If you believe in something 100% most time girls with roll with it, and I have experienced it personally. Makes absolutely no sense, I'll admit it. In all actually it all boils down to how confident you are and yes no one will ever have a 100% success rate but I am a broke cheapskate with a shitty job and no education, and what does it get me? Free dinners. Confidence should not be based on your job, how much money you have or what you have going for you. It comes from within, the fact that you are a fun good person regardless of your financial state and your supposed social standing. It's a pity society has us trained to believe that we are our job. Read the article in the forums about Ego vs. Confidence helped me out a lot =) I apologize for the random thoughts all jumbled up I was attempting to address everything at once =)
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#49
ambassador_of_aloha

ambassador_of_aloha

Member

Join Date: 04/08/2008 | Posts: 44

Oh yea thanks Ryan by the way for the txt numbers regarding gf vs. lay clears up a lot of confusion I had regarding girls getting all clingy on me and lays all of a sudden wanting to turn wife. 
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#50

SynCoast~

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/05/2008 | Posts: 142

I would like to say great article. Cleared some things up.

I'm very eager to explore this part after you have sex with the girl. Staying in touch with them.

Is there any other examples u could give us that u use to text the girl? Like example: ''I just made the best dinner for myself tonight" or ''boy do I hate peak hour traffic, im going like 1km/hr here. ...... or would u throw out texts like hows ur day been or just  send her texts on what your doing at the current moment.

Im also curious, a lot of the texts that u sent out, did u get a lot of no responses, like say 70% of the texts u sent didn't get a reply?
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