Call me old fashioned but the colder it gets outside the less inspired I am to suit up and hit the streets in search of a fleeting tryst. Because of this, one must find more sustainable ways of keeping the bed warm – as such, this winter can aptly be renamed Girlfriend Season.



I always get a kick on bootcamp when guys say things like “Ryan, this is all good an well for getting the same night lay… but I’m in this to get a girlfriend”.

Or even better, I want to take a bootcamp but I don’t want to go to clubs because I don’t want to meet my girlfriend in a club. Duhhhrrr. Well… I’m looking for a boxing gym – my boxing ambitions hardly extend to becoming the next Floyd Mayweather, but I’m still looking for the best gym I can to train in the most efficient way possible.



Simply put – to every excuse-monger who’s uttered BS like “I wanna learn girlfriend game, I’m not interested in one night stand game” – I ask you this… Do you really think if you can get a girl into you enough to sleep with you that night, she won’t return your calls the next day?? Really??? Or do you really think that if you can step into a legit nightclub, run train and pull a girl, that stepping into Starbucks the next day and pulling an instadate won’t be a complete joke??

What I’m getting at is: simply put, the best way to get a girlfriend is to have tight game…period! The best way to develop tight game is to hit the club. Period.

OK, rant over.

So, you’re out, nightclub or café, you meet a girl, you vibe, she likes you, you start thinking “Winter Girlfriend”. The first step to spring-boarding your relationship is knowing that whether you’re looking for a one-time shag or a girlfriend. The process is identical from ‘hello’ to lay. That is to say, any myths about taking it slower with a potential GF are complete bullshit… yes, I said it.

As such, this article is going to focus on the differences after the lay… essentially how to go from 1-time hookup to Winter Girlfriend.



The biggest piece behind the girlfriend transition is bringing the girl into your life. The more you pull her into your unique world, the more she’ll want to explore around it and possibly make herself comfortable.

So for instance, after sex with a one-night stand, I’ll happily lay in bed resting for an hour before shagging her again and then politely walking her out. With Winter Girlfriend, I immediately move on from sex into some other ‘my world’ centric activity. Example: I have really cool roommates - we watch Audrey Hepburn and other classic movies together - so after sex I’ll pretty quickly throw the girl a pair of my boxer shorts and one of my shirts and have her come hang out in the living room to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Also, my livingroom has a big shaggy white carpet, so we lay on that and drink wine.



Now, I promise you – there’s not a girl in the world that wouldn’t love drinking red wine, lounging around on the shag carpeting watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a bunch of cool guys. And beyond that, this is an activity that is SPECIFIC to me and my world… there really is no other guy out there she’ll experience this with.

From there, maybe the girl spends the night, maybe not. BUT, if she does, come morning time she’s going to be on my program. This means she’s waking up at 11:00 whether she wants to or not. Also, being pretty health conscience I eat healthy – albeit gross – breakfasts, typically something like egg whites, spinach, and flax seed oil. Guess what… the girl is having breakfast with me. Again, the girl is experiencing something pretty unique to my world (I’m sure tons of other guys eat this as well, but I’m also sure none of those guys have ever made egg-whites for 2 and insisted that she eat it because ‘eating healthy is important’).

From there, if she’s still with me and I need to drop off my dry cleaning… guess what we’re doing together? Not only are we doing it together, but the whole time I’m filling her in on all the past drycleaners I’ve used, who typically does a good job, and which of my shirts need to be dry cleaned versus which can simply be laundered.

Does she care? Yes and no. Me taking the time to educate her on how I like my dry cleaning done sends a pretty powerful message… the fact that I’m investing my time and effort in teaching her about me implies we’re going to have a future together.

On the flip side, I think about how I would have handled this situation a few years ago. Say by some miracle I did manage to sleep with a girl, the next morning would look more like “hey, so what would you like for breakfast? We can get whatever you want  “. “So what’s your schedule today? Ohhhh, I’ll totally come to Bed, Bath & Beyond with you…” Then I’d wonder why the girl wouldn’t see me again… :-/

So, piece number 1 – bringing her into YOUR world, allowing her nesting instincts to kick in once she’s there.

And piece number 2 – building DAILY relevance. With a girl I just want to shag from time-to-time, I’ll maybe send 1 text every 2 or 3 days. When I’m transitioning into Winter Girlfriend, I’m shooting anywhere from 5 to 20 texts daily. Talking about my lunch, how I’m annoyed with my roommate, how I’m procrastinating sitting down and doing work, how I’m thinking dirty thoughts about her… you get the point.

Simply put, I build myself into the girl’s daily life to the point that we actually become real friends, to the point that we’re actually getting to know each other on a day-to-day basis, and to the point that she actually associates a part of work with texting with me, and thinks of me when riding the train, and having coffee, and hanging with her friends.

So, in short – the 3 pieces are:

1.) Run solid game to being with.
2.) Bring her into your world as much as possible. Let her walk a few steps in your shoes.
3.) Text lots… build actual practical relevance in her world.

And you’re well on your way to having a Winter Girlfriend. Have fun, be merry, and don’t forget to plan something special for her birthday.

Cheers,
Ryan