RyanForReal

Taken from RSDNation:

“What's the best way to deal with”

“Should one ____________ and just ___________________, and how does one set this up?”

“It would seem that _______”

And my personal favorite: “Is it the kiss of death when a girl ________…”

Guys, unfortunately there’s a necessary truth anyone hoping to get this skill set needs to accept – No One Can Win This Game For You.

There is no substitute for experience.

Being around this community and forums for a few years now, I can pretty accurately predict which forum posters are going to ‘get it’ and which ones aren’t. The single biggest predictor of success – ratio of experience posts to question posts.

Seriously.

You see someone on RSDNation posting “I noticed that when I…” or “Sometimes when I _____, the girl responds by _______” or “I’ve found the best way to ____ is…” or even “This weekend I…”.

These phrases are necessitated by action; they are evidence that the guy is actually out, piecing the puzzle together, developing reference points and experience. And when they do post on line they get either affirmations or contrary opinions, further shaping their understanding.



On the flip side, you’ve got the “what does it mean when she…” and the “My friend told me that…”

Straight up – plain and simple, this is a defeatist mindset. And even worse, you notice a pattern forming, a question like this is usually followed by another… and another… and then we get into advanced keyboard jockeying… As if this guy is gonna get ALL his questions checked off then be like “ok, yep, time to go out and pimp” *rolls eyes*.

So then, a change in mindset is necessary – and here it is:

Next time you find yourself slipping into abstract fantasy land, like maybe “It would seem like if you approach too direct the girl will then have no reason to get to know you” – stop yourself. Really, shut the fuck up, and follow this rule: The next words that come out of your mouth must be “In my experience…”.



If you’re able to string together a coherent thought with a modicum of intelligence behind it – great, you’re on the right track.

If not, stop what you’re doing immediately, approach a girl, and get confirmation on your “it would seem that” so that it then becomes an “in my experience”.

By this point, half of you are nodding like “yeah, that’s right” and some of you are inevitably thinking “But isn’t it efficient to learn from the mistakes of others and to get feedback from those more experienced than you?”

The answer is – Yes, BUT, wisdom without reference experience is WORTHLESS.

So if we’re talking about escalation and you’re the guy saying “well I’ve heard that”… bad news: you don’t even qualify to begin learning escalation until you’ve first gone out, tried it, fucked it up, tried some more, then fucked it up some more. Only then will you even begin to benefit from all the “Club Game and Sexual Escalation” posts you so dedicatedly submerge yourself in.

And guess what – when you do post “Funny thing happened last night that I’d love to get feedback on” – the quality of feedback you get is actually much higher because those who know what they’re talking about actually recognize that you’re a man of action. Thing is, pretty quickly you’ll realize that it’s actually more efficient to just go out and fill in the blanks on your own.

I’m all for mentors… in fact, I’m off for an appointment with a personal trainer in just a few minutes. We’ve got a good little system going. He tells me what to do – I fuck up the form, he corrects me… I try again, he tweaks things a little bit more…I get it right… then I push the weight till I’m fucking nauseous. So far things are going pretty well…



Take individual responsibility and get out there and actually DO. And if once you’ve actually gone out and DONE, if you still disagree, throw up a comment… just make sure it starts with “in my experience”.



Cheers,
Ryan

p.s. follow me on Twitter for random thoughts and live updates from bootcamp - www.twitter.com/RyanRSD