Hey Fellas,

Doing bootcamp week-in and week-out, it doesn’t take long to notice some clear patterns in guys who are new to the game – simple mistakes guys make that can be fixed in a snap. Below are a few of the most common sticking points I see in beginners that can be easily addressed and once in order will definitely lead to noticeably better results.

Cue Soundtrack:




Approach Scanning – This takes place before the approach even happens… the guy scans the room looking for a girl to talk to, sees a girl he’s attracted to, then comes up with all the reasons why not to approach. “She’s with a guy…she’s too tall… she’s in a bad mood”. Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so instead of seeking out all the reasons why not to approach, let your thought process be this: “Girl…Hot Girl…Get Hot Girl.”

The Decaying Orbit – Here we’ve got a guy who’s decided to approach, but instead of making a straight line to his target and opening dominantly, he instead sort of circles around – gradually edging in and finally trying to initiate with a timid tap. YUK. When I see a girl I want, I am A MAN ON A MISSION. Nothing will come between me and her, and she knows it. Move dominantly and with purpose…let her see you’re a man who goes after what he wants… a man who grabs the proverbial bull by the horns.

The Far Talker – Any guesses as to what distance you want to be when talking to girls (in a club)? The answer is about 1 head length…this is a LOT closer than you think. Get comfortable being close.

Going Interview Mode – Game is expression of self. If the spotlight is on her then by default it means self-expression is at a minimum. Go first – put yourself out there and let her follow your lead. So it’s not “What do you like to do?” instead go first and let her follow… “I’m really into snowboarding” will usually be followed by her reciprocating by telling you what she’s into. Share your opinion… don’t be some impartial reporter, let her know what you think “that’s really weird…that reminds me of the time I…”



Growing Roots – Guys, it’s not “let’s stand here and talk for 2 hours then go back to mine.” It just doesn’t work like that…it’s more like “Let’s go to the bar…now let’s go dance… now let’s go chill…now let’s go back to the bar… now let’s go outside…now let’s go chill…now let’s grab something to eat…now let’s go back to mine.” Get her into the habit of following you on the little things first, before you go for the big ones. This also leads into our next point:

Fighting Against the Current: Look, if you’re talking to a girl and you see her standing there with an empty drink I got news for you – she’s gonna go to the bar at some point. You can only hold her in one place for so long before she gets thirsty. Likewise if a girl tells you she loves to dance… you’re only going to be able to keep her on the sofa for so long before she leaves to go dance. If you see a girl glancing around to see where her friends are… she’s going to want to find her friends no matter how charming you are. Instead of working against the current and trying to hold her, let her momentum work with you. Meaning, when I see a girl’s drink is empty I say “I’m thirsty, come with me to the bar”. When you see a girl looking around to see where her friends are, pre-empt her walking off to find them – “Hey, we haven’t seen your friends in a while…let’s go see where they went.” Really, what’s she gonna say…”No”?? “Fuck you”???



Spinning the Wheels – Ok so you’re at the club, girl is in a party mood and she REALLY likes you. Well, I don’t care how interesting you are, you can only have a friendly conversation for so long before it gets BORING. Or, even worse, before she thinks you’re a prude that’s scared to escalate. This is SOOOO common, guy likes girl, girl likes guy… guy and girl talk for an hour…guy does nothing to escalate either physically or verbally, guy and girl go their separate ways. Girl concludes guy doesn’t like her, feels insecure, develops eating disorder.

Filler Speak – This is where the guy is scared to reveal himself and his own thoughts and feelings, so instead he seeks to fill the conversation using external stimulus, “yeah the lighting in this bar is really cool… oh the DJ is pretty good tonight…yeah I’m drinking a vodka tonic.” Quit hiding – say what’s really on your mind.

Not Communicating Interest – I’ll make this simple. A girl won’t like you until you like her. A girl doesn’t know you like her until you TELL HER you like her. This can take place verbally or non-verbally – but if you have a problem with this make a resolution right now that the next 100 girls you talk to will get told either “you’re hot”, “you’re sexy”, or “I like you”. PERIOD. NO EXCEPTIONS.

No Physicality – Simply put, get VERY comfortable being physical. How? Just be VERY TOUCHY. Practice makes perfect…it’s not rocket science.

Assuming It’s Not On – ARGH, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a guy walk away from a girl that likes him only to say “really? You think she was into me?” after I point out the obvious. Guys – if she’s talking to you she’s interested. It’s that simple. To be clear – She is into you unless she makes it blatantly clear otherwise.

Ignoring the Friends – Take a moment to introduce yourself and chat to her friends, this will make your job much easier down the line.

Not Trying for the Close – assume you’re closing, get verification one way or the other. No exceptions.

And lastly…

Giving a Fuck What Other People Think – Repeat after me…”I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT ME”. Good… now say it like you mean it.

Cheers,
Ryan