havnt done a blog update since i first started this adventure/journey so here goes with a small blog update were i am upto after being in the game/rsd after 6 months.

just come back off my second bootcamp and hotseat,

things i have learned about myself

to stop beating myself up when not in state. also if i am not in state enjoy and ride it just as much(HAVE FUN) as when you are as you wont be in the present moment instead being in your head talking shit. on sidenote on this is getting state off the music in a club at one point i felt guilty as its "not drawing state from within" which is bullshit which i have now learned is fine as long as your not drawing state off the good emotions of the girl or her reactions

having more energy/ not being half hearted or wishy washy more intent assume attraction

one of the biggest things i have taken out of this bootcamp is just being totally centred (unreactive but responsive) at all times or as much as possible as its like a muscle! which can contract and expand and which i control

persisting at times, i just bail because im thinking about the next set instead of staying in and seeing how far i can push it

finding the solution to the girls situation not letting her bored friend drag her away 

expressing myself better just saying any shit if i run out of things to say

self amusing is big for me i know that once i start expressing myself properly too i will be unstoppable as i have had a number of experiences of this but its still not consistant as i would like

a lot more narcisistic reframing of situations lol eg i am getting more and more awesome because i am taking care of business,nutrition,working out, taking action in field



theres so much more i can say right now but they are the main things that are in my grid at the moment. i might put up some of my field reports from the last few months or i might just start afresh