Phred!'s Blog

Wow....I havent updated this thing in a long fuckin time. So lets do it....

Work has been EXTREMELY busy and stressful. It's tax season....working my ass off 50+ hours a week, but somehow I still have the energy to go out and get this shit handled.

I now consciously live hardcore by the concept of RIGHT ACTION. When I get out of work at 10pm after starting at 9am, I do not want to go out. I say out loud to myself "Yes....go to the bar...take right action....get this shit handled....get the glory" or if I dont want to go to the gym I say to myself "take right action....go to the gym and get fit...youll feel that much better and heathlier". Or when I dont want to approach a girl because I have fear or I'm lazy, I say "take right action....she's cute...you want her....make the attempt to make it happen...make her night special because youre awesome"

Because the greatest thing I've learned about myself since involving myself with RSD is how far away I was from being THE MAN. For the longest time, I was irresponsible, unmotivated, and lazy. I might as well have just grown a vagina. I was not on my path. But now when I make the conscious decisions to take right action, it makes me feel good because I'm being the strong man that I'm meant to be. The same strong man who will one day have a family of his own...who wants to teach his son to be this way so that he doesn't go through the bs I did.

So what has changed since my last update?

1. I stopped getting drunk when I go out. This has been huge. It makes so much of a difference in my game, my health, and my attitude. I have the best times when I'm not wasted. I'll have a beer or two throughout the night as a social thing, but I'm no where drinking as much as I used to. When I go out, all the guys are wasted....so it actually gives me the advantage when I approach a girl sober....she's relieved and happy that I'm not drunk.

2. The brazilian girl that I pulled in my last update has become a very solid FB for me. I'm afarid that she has become to like me too much, as she sorta tried asking me whether we are/we will boyfriend and girlfriend a few weeks back. I come to realize that she's pretty insecure. For example, last Saturday night, I had my mom's birthday surprise party so I couldn't hang out with her. She actually didn't believe me when I told her this. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with her? When this happened, I layed the law down for her. I dont put up with girl's bs like that. I told her that I cant be with her if she never believes me, and that if she doesnt start trusting me, then I'm not going to see her anymore. I was completelty 100% willing to drop her, and she apologized for her actions. Since then, she's been a lot better and the trust issue has never been brought up again. Trust is somethign I extremely value in a girl, and if she doesnt have that, then I wont be with her.

Anyway....with the concept of right action coming an integral part of my lifestyle, I really sat down yesterday after work to evaluate where I am in this game....

I still have AA. It may never go away, or it may go away. I dont know. But if I'm taking right action, then AA isnt really much of a factor. I know that if I'm nervous or lazy, then I have to approach anyway. Taking right action will just make me game stronger.
Going for the approach is by far the most difficult thing for me out of the whole process from open to close oddly enough. A lot of guys can open fine, but escalating is difficult. I'm the opposite. When the set hooks and I'm in, I can easy make things happen.

Example from saturday night - My friend goes to dance with this girl and her friend starts dancing by herself, and is getting bored. She's about to grab her friend away from my friend. I see this happening, and so does my other friend, who wants me to go save. I really dont want to, and I'm kinda nervous but I go in anyway. I grab her by the neck and pull her in. I say "Hey...I really like your tattoos". She's into me right away, and I escalate quickly by grabbing her arms to see her tattoos and talk about them. Then I start dancing with her. Then I say "fuck it....we're going over here". I pull her into the corner and start kissing her. She's not kissing me back and giving me tests saying "wow...you're a little forward" and giving me shit about the age difference (I'm 23 and she's 27..who fuckin cares lol). I'm completely unreactive and keep escalating. Eventually, we make out a little and keep dancing. Then we start hardcore making out and shes really all up in my shit. I ask her "so what are you doing later" (credit Brad- da man). I qualify her by telling her that she seems really cool, and unique with all the tattoos she has. I say let's go and I pull her outside. The pull was set and she was down for it, but I end up staying at the bar. I was on such a high for doing this so effortlessly that I wanted to go back to the bar and try it again! hahah fuckin loser. I think to myself "Is this it? Is it that easy?" Kinda mind blowing at the time....

So my goal over the next month is just approach any girl I like. Or for the girls I'm not into...just be social. I dont want to just approach or talk to the hottest girls, as I want to be good with all types of girls. I realized this weekend that everything else in the set is extremely easy for me, and I want to be great at this....so I must be able to do everything from open to pull.

In other news, I just put a deposit down for my next BC. I think I'm going to take it at the end of April when tax season is over. It'll be a nice treat for me for all the hard work I did. I'm going to take it with Ryan, and I can't fuckin wait. This is another reason why I want to push myself...so that I have a ton more reference experiences under my belt for BC. It's gonna be a sick weekend.

Anyway...I will report during the week or next weekend. Keep making shit happen people. RIGHT ACTION! YES!

Phred

Okay...so I've developed a sticking point that I know some guys have gone through, and if you havent...then thats awesome. The sticking point is because of my ego (by the way...I hate that word lol), and if anybody can give some advice or feedback...I'd really appreciate it.

So anyway...I've always considered a good intuition about the happenings in field. We call that the Social Matrix. With enough field experience...you can easily tell which girls are lookng to be picked up...which girls have boyfriends....which guy is her boyfriend or just a lingering chode, etc.

I consider myself to be very good at this. I believe that despite the many other things I need to work on to get to that sick level, I have at least a very good clear intuition about the social environment I'm in.

But I feel like this is hurting my game. While it's good to have that intuition...It's also stifled me. I've had a habit of overanalyzing the situation, instead of fuckin just going for it and not giving a shit about whats going on.

So for the next few weeks...I'm just gonna say fuck it...whether the situation is....I'll just go in and hope for the best. Taking chances just because you find the girl hot....not because the situation works in your favor. I want to be the guy who has a nice balance between knowing the matrix and just going for when he wants always.

I will keep you updated on my progress. If anyone has anything to share...go for it.

Phred

This is the lay with the brazilian girl that I met last weekend. I said in my last entry that it was basically a done deal....that it would be an easy lay. Well...it was pretty easy but less easier than I thought. I'm writing this LR despite that the fact that she was really into me since last week. That's because it has a funny story involved, and I feel like it can give value to other guys reading this with the lessons I learned from it.

I drove up from NY to CT at about 10pm saturday night. I meet up with her and her friends for a birthday. Our night starts right back up from where it did last weekend.....were touching each other....were hookin up all night. She doesn't speak English well, so I spent the majority of the night physically connecting with her. This has just been a phenomial experience in my time gaming. It's just amazing how two people can truly connect without the same language.

Throughout the night, little congruence tests come at me. During the night, she tells me that shes not coming over to my hotel room tonight (I planned on staying at Holiday Inn for the night). I just look her deeply in the eyes, and with a smile respond back "Ok...fine with me". She's a little shocked over it....guessing that I would react badly to her comment. I pass her tests tonight with flying colors.

Her friend is chatting up another guy and trying very hard to get with him. He makes out with her a little, but he's not leading this anywhere. I'm thinking to myself....this very attractive brazilian wants you so badly....come on....you cant fuck this up.

We are making out all night having a blast. All I need is more leading and logistics to send this one out of the park. When the bar lights come up, and it's time for us to leave....I need to bring her, her brazilian friend, and the dude she's with me, and to drop them off at their places.

It's when we're leaving when she says that she wants to hang out with me longer at my room, so I drop off the friend and the dude first. BUT, with my luck....it isnt just a normal car drive. I'm crusing down I95 South, when I start smelling smoke. I'm thinking OMG...this cant be happening to me right now....I hope it either passes or no one notices except for me. Ofcourse....a minute, the dude is like "ummmm....I smell smoke man". So I start to get off the exit to where I need to go when suddently the guy is like "HOLY SHIT DUDE....THERE"S A FIRE IN YOUR CAR!"
I look back, and see smoke coming up from the backseat floor of the car. I'm absolutely freaking out inside wondering what the fuck is going on. Once I get out of the car, I check around the floor to see a lighter. Appearantly what happened was that he mustve somehow lit up the lighter with his shoe when he was sitting down in the back. Once I see this, I start laughing my ass off......this is the type of shit that happens to me a lot. This couldntve been an easy pull ofcourse...my fuckin car has to light on fire.
All while this is going on....there's two brazilian girls in my car who hardly speak english not knowing what the fuck is going on or what I'm saying. Despite that ruckus in my car....I tell myself that I need to just laugh this off and remain calm, I don't want to fuck up the mood.

So finalllyyyyy...I drop off the guy and the brazilian friend, and drive to the holiday inn and get a room.

When we finally get the room (the guy took forever....horrible), I throw her on the bed and start hardcore making out with her. This goes on for a little bit, but she stops. I sense that she's really nervous for some reason because I think she knows that this is going down.

She gets up to go to the bathoom, and I just lay down and watch some tv. When she comes back, she lays on top of me, and reinitates making out. Now this time....she's grinding me hard and she gets really into it. We're going at it for a while, and then I start to finger her. It's all going well...and things start to get really hot when all of a sudden, she takes my hand off her vag and SHUTS DOWNNNNN completely. She literally just turns over....closes her eyes.....and says that she's sleepy.

I'm thinking...fuck....why is she killing the mood for? Like...she's ruining the flow of everything....it's not right. But for some reason, I dont care if this goes down. I'm disappointed inside, but I stay unreactive. Instead, I take her real close and start cuddling with her. She starts telling me that she wants to go. I tell her okay...but then she stops me and says "I mean that I really want to stay with you.....Idk...I'm confused". I look her straight in the eye and say "listen...if you want to go, then I'll drop you off....If you want to stay, then stay....whatever is fine with me". She's just extremely nervous about this whole thing, but she really wants it to happen. In this case, I think I did the right thing. I needed to make her extrememly comfortable, and to make it seem like I'm not forcing her to do anything, which I wasnt. 

We end up watching Deal or No Deal, for a few minutes and she initates the making out again. This time I throw her on top of me, and we start really going at it. This time around, I buckle her pants with no resistance, and GLORY ENSUES :-)

Note: Throughout the night, I start to gather up that she's really shy despite the fact that she's extremely comfortable with me and really passionate. She has a hard time looking me straight in the eye a lot and she blushes a lot, which kinda bothers me, but I also think it's pretty cute. Because i had this pretty much on lock down unless I really was stupid....all I needed to do was create huge amounts of comfort and no gaming. Qualification was key as well...as she really needed to know that I really liked her (and I do) considering she really liked me. I think she wanted to make sure that I was the real deal. Even later on in the night, when I'm driving her home, she asks me if I still like her. I realized how important qualification is in game. Girls love sex, but they need to know that they're with a man who truly appreciates them, or else they feel like trash. There are girls out there that just want to fuck, and dont care about thatshit....but for the other classy girls out there...qualification is extremly important...and I'm finding out each weekend how important it is.

The fire in my car really fucked more with my head than I wanted it to, but (I'm reaching far out here) I feel like it was a test to see if I could keep it all together, which I did.
This was also my first taste of token resistance. I realized that was going on right when we were watching Deal or No Deal, and just the fact that I knew what was happening really put me more at ease. At that point, it was on...but I didnt know how long it would take me to score.

Phred here with another weekly update with a FR story....and some things I've been working on/noticing in field.

I didn't go out Thurs and Friday, which is a rare occurance. I used my heavy workload as an excuse to stay in which is complete bullshit. My heavy workload will continue until April...so I can't use this as an excuse all the time. I will go out solo if I need to...2009 is my year!

Saturday I do go out with a friend of mine to the city. I chilled with his frat buddies. Saw Northern there for a little which was cool.

We chill at this bar downtown for awhile, and I realize that girls are throwing themselves to guys to be fucked. They dont say it, but all the signs are there. Being about to tap into the social matrix is an amazing and dangerous thing to do. It's just one of those nights. I know that even though I'm not in the greatest state, I have to try to make something happen.

I approach a few sets at the bar, but they dont go well at all. Blown out. But I go into sets with one hundred percent conviction. I had about a 90% conviction, and I got blown out for it. It's understandable now. YOU MUST GO TO A GIRL WITH 100% EFFORT, CONVICTION, BELIEF...whjatever else you wanna call it. Tim says it himself...but this is the first time we're I've finaslly realized how true this was. Girls will pick up on the hesitation in a heartbeat.

After the blowouts, my state is at a high. I'm having fun with my friends, I'm approaching girls. I spot a cute brunette brazilian wander around me, so I start dancing with her. She tells me "My friend wants to meet you". I dont think this is ever happened to me before. Appearantly, she saw me earlier in the night. Hmmm...I've never been opened like that before. I assume its because I'm projecting an awesome state.

I grab her hand and walk over to her friend. I pray to God that she's not ugly. Much to my extreme suprise...she's amazinglyyyyy cute. I would give her an 8.5 if I used the scale. Usually...I go fuckable or not fuckable.

Slim tight body...long blonde hair....slightly tan....nice tight ass....brazilian girl. I saw her for a second earlier in the night, but I didn't see her after that. I'm thinking WOW! I'm not nervous at all. Partially because I know it's on...and because I'm in such a great state. Non outcome dependent at all.

I claw her in immediately....I'm dominant, intentful...this girl is a full blown cutie. I easily take her over....she's giggling uncontrollable. We talk for a minute, and I tell her how she cute she is and give her a kiss on the cheek while still in the claw. A few seconds I go for the makeout and BOOM...I'm in.

Her friends love me, and they allow me to do my thing. I love when this happens. No jealousies....no cockblocking...it's all win/win. My eye contact is harder than ever...lazer eyes extreme. She cant keep eye contact with me, and my eye contact is so strong. I've been making a note of doing this lately, thanks to KevinNJ's eye contact post. So...if you're reading this brotha....thank you hah!

She lives in Stamford and I live on Long Island, so it's a bit difficult logistically to pull. A bathroom pull could have been an option. Truth is, I didnt think of it at the time. It's so easy to think of how I could've pulled after the fact. I was just enjoying her so much, as well as she did. Her english wasn't so good...but the chemistry is just there. It's CLICK and FLOW. The whole interaction was just so natural...we hardly spoke the whole time. I get her number at the end of the night, and I'm meeting up with her on Saturday, so hopefully I can finish the deal then. She is really into me...telling me how amazing I am, and how I'm not like other American guys. I know its a seal and a deal from here.

I realize now that what I did was 100% conviction. I went in hard, and didn't hesitate with anything. It was all just WHOOSHHH. I couldn't think of doing this a year ago. It's amazing how things change.

This is what it's all about people. It's just about believing in yourself that you take whatever you want. It's self entitlement, and there's nothing more attractive to a girl that a man who believes and knows what he wants...and takes it. This is my theme for 2009. SELF ENTITLEMENT. I want to believe deep down that I'm entitled to any girl in the bar. I want to make a girls night like I did for this one. Your core presense and expression is valuable.

During the week, I want to blog about eye contact experimentation I've been conducting the past week. I'll update soon.

Phred

With the launch of RSDN 2.0 (which kicks ass btw), I figured it would be cooler to write in this blog then keep my thread going in the FR section.

Anyway....with the blog being dubbed Phred Explores New York V 2.0, I think that a nice little update would be just about right.

The month of January has had its ups and down.

For one, it seemed that taking about a month long hiatus from getting better with women by sitting comfortably in cherish mode had brought a lot of AA back. It seemed like a big deal at the time. Well....actually it was. I went out with my wings the first weekend in January, and froze up like it was my first time out. I was stifled to say the least, and I was uncomfortable. I felt like I didn't belong there. All my hard work seemed to have vanished. I had flashbacks of pre-BC, and how this seemed so hard. I gained so much informations, reference experiences, etc. since that bootcamp that I felt like all that hard work was gone. I just needed to push myself back to where I got to.

So I decided that this would not stand. I needed discipline, and I needed set guidelines for myself whenever I went out. I decided that each  night I went out, I would have to approach at least five sets.

So far, its been working. I've built that confidence back up to where I had in before cherish-mode. It was almost two weeks ago that I almost pulled home a cute 27 yr old blonde chick with minimal effort, because of two things. One...I had state. I was out having fun and totally comfortable in my surroundings. Two....my game intuition took over.

I want to focus on the second part more than the first. I repeat from before....my game intuition took over. Did you ever have a close where it "just happened?" You try to right down in a FR/LR every detail, and every line of the interaction as if it was a movie script. Didn't you hate it when you couldn't, but you knew that it was so SWEET? That's when game intuition takes over. When you don't think...you just do.

My almost-pull (almost because of shitty logistics) was so natural. I wish I remembered what i said...and what I did. I knew that I clawed...flirted...made out...isolated....tried for pull. Thats the basic outline. This crack in the clouds comes on and off. This natural ability to do this isn't 100% there yet....but I've seen glimpes of it. Slowly....it's becoming more frequent. GRADUALLYYYYY.

The second realization I've come to came from last Thursday. I went out with a non community friend to a local club. Full of young college hotties. I was on the dance floor when I saw a rather cute brunette young girl just standing around. With lazer eye focus, I come directly to her, and say "Are you okay?" She starts to go on about something, so I pull her in and whisper in her ear, "I dont really care what happened...I just wanted to come over to you because I thought you were cute." She smiled back at me, and said "You know? That was probably the best approach i've gotten all night".

I didnt think much at the time, except that I had gotten her attention with my honest approach. What I didn't realize until later was that she responded well because it took balls. Women will appreciate the genuineness of that. It came from the heart. I meant every word. Instead of grinding them from behind like most guys would do at a club....women even as young as her (18 yrs old) or as old as other women respect genuine behavior.
I shall update again next week