Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
Comments are welcome.
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I will be next:

December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aChB9Lhrp4

The fear tech I developed rests on the shoulders of several schools of thought. I didn't make it up. I just adapted whatever I  thought it was helpful. One of the pillars of symptom expansion is HIT(high intensity training). HIT comes from body building. It  is about lifting briefly and intensely to failure. It maximizes muscle growth and intensity. The idea is to overload the muscle and take it extreme in order to maximize time of training. I found this extremely useful in my bootcamps because time is one thing you don't have when you are on a three day program. It forces the instructor to cut to the core and get rid of all the bullshit. That's why I don't have a lot of time for lengthy discussion about attraction theory because it is so random and it is just theory with no fact behind it. Truth is nobody knows for sure how attraction is created, they just theoritize about it based on random facts("it worked last night because I got laid, so it must work every time", guys generalize based on isolated events). There is factual evidence that confirms that HIT works. I just applied whatever I thought would work.
HIT emphasizes muscle exhaustion for maximum growth. They also do "controlled failure". You should be able to hold the weight for some time in a state of failure and then lowering the weights when you can't take it anymore. That would guarantee maximum growth in the muscle. That's one of the things that excited me. You should be able to do "controlled failure" in a pickup situation. You need to lift the interaction and hold it up there for a period of time even in "failure". That would maximize learning and stamina. That will guarantee growth in your pickup muscle. You need to pay special attention to not to walk away in the middle of "failure" because the muscle won't grown. So being thrown in a tough set that would challenge you, you will need to hold that set to "failure". But there hast to be pressure for skills to develop quickly.
This is the theory. Practice becomes slightly different. You need to teach students what it means to "hold to failure" in an interaction. They need to know how that feels and overcome it. You need to train them in symptom amplification, because that is the "maximum weight" that they can hold to failure. It is a complex operation in the field and a subtle one.
Why HIT works in pickup?
It works faster, better and the quality of the learning is better than low intensity approaching. When you approach in less pressure situation aka "the easy set", you have nothing to push against. There are no symptoms. As a result growth is slow and "low quality" of learning happens. In lay man terms, you are not being  challenged. There is little or no growth. In other words it will take you longer to build "muscle" if the muscle is not strained.
Why you won't do HIT in pickup?
Because chances of failure are higher. Fear of rejection kicks in and you will balk at it. It will happen at an unconscious level. Your choices in the field will be different because fear activates a whole host of symptoms to prevent you from risking rejection. In the process, fear will prevent you from learning.
Mind and body
This is where pickup meets philosophy. Mind and body cannot be divided. They are a unity. In fear technology we work with body and mind to achieve our maximum potential as human beings. You must attempt to be brief, intense to achieve the best results in the shortest amount of time. You must apply critical thinking and not be enchanted by magic pills out there. You must embrace the "no pain, no gain" philosophy of body building that is applicable to all areas of life. You must indoctrinate yourself with the idea that if you are not pushing you are not growing. The ability to live a happy life rests on the idea of overcoming obstacles in your way, not avoiding them. Muscle hypertrophy is related to intensity, not duration. So you do more in less time when you raise the pulse of an approach. One approach in HIT is equivalent to 20 in low intensity mode. Fact.
Gorilla Training?               
Gorillas are typically lazy animals. So what explains their incredible muscle mass? Rumor has it that Arthur Jones spent time watching big animals like gorillas and tried to find out how they achieve such tremendous strength and power. The idea is that if a lion or a gorilla excersize with the frequency of a body builder they will probably won't survive. The truth is that big animals at the top of the food chain do very little but their activities are hard, brief and not frequent. In other words a gorilla rarely moves but when he does he goes with 100 percent so does the lion. When a gorilla moves from branch to branch the lift heavily because of the size of their bodies. They do it in short controlled bursts. In other words you don't need to do an awful lot of training to get big, you need to do maximize time and quality of the activity. 
video games?
you want to test this theory? Go to your android and start playing a game at HIT level by playing at the "advanced level". Do that for a while. You will fail a lot but your skills will rise faster than if you played at the "normal level" or "low intensity" level. In fact if you play at low intensity levels you will play more and "learn less". Quality and speed of learning is at the high levels.
Quick and Dirty: the benefits. "It is painful but it does work".
. Shorter sessions. You work less and achieve more. No more marathons of cold approaching. You can do in two hours what it will take you six hours. Too much approaching will be equivalent to overtraining and will do more harm than good.
. Your learning will multiply. More epiphanies, more eyeopening experiences in shorter periods of time. Even after you are done, your mind will still be learning.
. Lower levels of fear the next day. Symptoms of fear tend to go down significantly or disappear long term. As a result by fear going down your performance will improve by itself.
. Factual. People do improve in short periods of time. HIT simply works. You cant go wrong because it has been verified through direct observation. HIT has been applied sucessfully to bodybuilding, military training, sales training and so on. It consistently works everywhere.
. You become more positive. you have increased levels of confidence as a result of overcoming challenges that seem impossible. So, yes, you become more positive.
. Efficient. Progress is guaranteed in short periods of time. It will fit in your life style better because you don't need lots of time to do it. You can do a session of high intensity approaching in your lunch hour just wherever you are. 1 hour of high intensity is equivalent to 3 or 4 of low intensity. So you do more in less.
. It can be applied to your career, hobbies, preferred activities or anything skill related.
Old resource


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7QlRVCCLKE
Comments are welcome.
 -------------------------
I will be next:

December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
 
 
 
25 Comments | 8,048 Views
Ozzie
 
Comments are welcome.

 -------------------------

I will be next:
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
 
Internal boundaries are what separates you and the world. you need those boundaries so you have something bad things or rejection to bounce off of. Boundaries are not walls. Walls prevent interaction with the world. Boundaries, however, facilitate communications with the outside world without letting all the garbage in. Think of it like a fence, not bricks.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdon_7g1Els

Why do you need boundaries?

Some people venture into cold approaching without boundaries and they fail because they can't handle rejection or bad reactions. They end up being contaminated with the negativity put out by the world. People without internal boundaries or collapsed boundaries have a hard time dealing with reality. Why? because there is no separation; you don't know where you end and the world begins. In other words you and the world are one. You forget who you are and your sense of self gets annihilated by the outside world. When you absorb the world without boundaries you take the good and the bad in. However, you want to keep the bad out. You want to remain yourself. If you don't have boundaries you lose yourself in others. You must get close to others but protect your sense of self. For that you need strong boundaries, not walls.

People with walls instead of boundaries

People build walls around them because of fear. It is kind of like Shrek who scared anybody who got close to home and lived in an inhospitable swamp. He wanted to keep people away and be left alone. Imagine somebody like that walking into a night club where there are people everywhere and he sees people as "threats" to his survival. That person will hide himself and won't approach. Fear of getting too close to the "fire" of rejection. Guys won't approach and if they do it is short lived. Either they do few approaches or their interactions don't last because they are so scared of being rejected they walk away before that happens. They play safe. Walls come up real quick.

This is a response to lack of boundaries. They build safety walls in order not to get hurt. It applies to people who remain distant and shy in social situations. They keep themselves safe but they are sorry because they don't interact with anybody. They exchange healthy human contact for a sick need for safety. Walls work like in illusion of control. The person thinks he is in control but in reality he is being controlled by others. Same happens when they are around women they fancy.

Collapsed or no boundaries

You are a case of collapsed boundaries if:

1. Put others bad emotions above your own. A bitchy girl makes you stop approaching and sends into a spiral of negativity and you stop approaching/conveniently lose interest
2. You feel you have no control over people in an approach and it makes you nervous.
3.  You feel helpless and exposed when you approach because you feel people can "hurt" you with their reactions.

Strong internal boundaries separate your emotions and responsibility from theirs. It is like a virtual line or mark in the sand that makes you separate from the forces of social conditioning of others. 90 percent of my students struggle with "I am afraid people will think I am weird". It indicates they do the thinking for others. There is a lack of or collapsed boundary at work. If you blame others for their reactions it indicates lack of boundaries too. You are taking on other's negative emotions. Being highly reactive to others points to lack of/weak inner strength. You won't go far approaching people that way. What or where is the line between you and others?

Control your thoughts? 

Some guys claim they get negative or lose motivation to approach. 9 out of 10 those guys are pretty rigid and lack flexibility in their values and opinions of themselves. Can you allow others to have an opinion of you without becoming too rigid? If you become weak and defensive it may point to your lack of inner boundaries. It doesn't matter that you get high on emotions and can approach like that for a while, you will revert back to negativity because your collapsed boundaries will not the negativity outside, sooner or later it will break in. It is like that tale of trying to keep the damp from collapsing by sticking your finger in the hole. Sooner or later the pressure of the water will the damp and you in the process.

Avoiding Drama With Girlfriend and ...taking control (Relationship Talk)

Women test your boundaries and ...your patience when they feel insecure. Pimps are very good at making a girl feel safe and trust them, at least this is what I see in Hollywood movies (attempted humour). Joking aside, women need to feel safe. Security ranks high in a female's priorities. If they don't have it, they will create drama to see how you react and thus confirm whether they can trust you. In my last article, I mentioned how your girlfriend might flirt in front of you to gauge your reaction and see if you care. A big smoking gun to leave a relationship or cheat for a woman is to realize their boyfriend doesn't care about what they do. With my girlfriend, I used to notice everything from her changing her hair style to the type of dress she would wear on our dancing night. She knew I cared about stuff like that so there was no drama around that. It allowed for her to be reassured that I was still interested in the relationship. This is big for women. You can't patch lack of interest in the relationship with presents as women will see it as a way of you buying your way out of responsibility. Women care about the survival of the relationship more than men since we tend to be more focused on career, money or achievement. You need to be reminded that for a woman to be successful in life she needs to succeed at a relationship. That's part of her deal. Even career women always try to build a family and succeed as mothers because it ranks high in a woman's priorities, not so much for men.

So to avoid drama, it is best to prevent drama. Make them feel secure and safe by reaffirming your interest in the relationship. Presents won't work. You must show interest for real. Nothing like the real thing.
(back to article)

The Compliance Boundary

May be you were taught to hold other's opinions above your own. It usually happens with authority figures like teachers, bosses and so on. But it could happen with women in a club. You are so invested in validation that you give your power away to them. In other words, you tend to obey them, value their opinion over yours just like she was your boss. The lack of internal boundaries allows for this thing to happen. It generates fear and anxiety around hot women when their opinions matter to you more than yours.

Who are you?

Without internal boundaries it becomes virtually impossible to get to know yourself. Internal boundaries gives you the freedom to go out into the world and experiment. Without those valuable inner fences you can't distinguish between yourself and world but you lose yourself in it. Some guys lose their sense of self when they cold approach. They can't own their experience because they are too concerned about what others think. That imaginary circle keeps you safe around others and permits to know who you are and own your experiences. It will allow for you to make your own decisions and experience liberty of choice.

Self protection

It is all about protection of the self against outside attacks. PRACTICE is the word. If you lack boundaries you need to build them and it doesn't happen by accident. Conscious practice as a the tool will go a long way. Once we understood why and how it happens we must take diligent action to correct course. Boundaries, like anything, don't grow by themselves.

Inner voice

I focus on program on separating my students from their negative inner voice. Some guys, because a self belief of defectiveness in this area, can't control how they talk to themselves. First step to correct this is to separate yourself from the negative talk. Negative talk happens in waves. That's why, as a coach, I aim to provoke an avalanche of negative thoughts in "controlled environment". So at the beginning of the night, I make them walk like a loser around the club and spot check their negative thinking patterns, then we examine them together. In this "controlled environment" without approaching yet we can explore the extent of their negative thoughts and it helps separate the student from the disruptive, intrusive self talk. We examine beliefs like "I am a defective item", "I am not good enough", "I am unworthy of good things" and so on. We separate them the belief from the thought. We start working then on changing the belief. We question the belief's validity by saying "is it 100 percent true you are a total loser all the time every time?". Those negative beliefs rarely can stand scrutiny. They fall by their own weight. By making a dent in the belief we start to change it. INSTANTLY a new internal boundary begins to grow where there was nothing. The students start to allow negativity to appear in his head but not give it much energy. The extent of his success on building inner fences depends on how hard he is willing to work on it. It is a matter of time and effort now. It requires a specific type of action to build inner boundaries. Perfect practice makes perfect.

Old resource


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdA-cH470j4
 
Comments are welcome.
 -------------------------
I will be next:
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
16 Comments | 7,458 Views
Ozzie
 
Comments are welcome.
 -------------------------
I will be next:
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 27-29, 2013: Berlin, Germany
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
 
 




http://youtu.be/FUXpABedK4Q

The cost in energy and motivation of expecting the worst in situations depletes your energy resources. Long term it leads to paralysis. Because you keep expecting the worst you will put off actions that need to happen right now. You get shut down by the "ifs" and the "may be's". Fear talks this language of endless negative possibilities. If you are to defeat it you must learn the communications that panic transmits to you. Learn the "fear language". Part of my job as a "Fear Coach" becomes to make my student calm and dispassionately look at their fears. First order of business requires you to become self aware. Unrelenting doubts and the fearful voice in your head interfere with action.
The many names of fear
worrying about worrying, fear of fear, fear of symptoms, anxiety about anxiety are some of the names pure dread comes to you. They all point in the same direction. You "believe" that constant rumination will keep you safe. You drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the future and how to control it. Future ends up controlling you with lack of action and zero clarity. 9/10 fears students have on program never happened to them or happened once. It means they worry about nothing. They worry out of habit. They have fed the negative belief that constantly being on guard against evil will prevent evil from happening to them. Being on guard all the time requires so much energy that you will have none for cold approaching which is almost like a work out.
Worrying about outcome as a process
it has become entrenched in your subconscious mind both as a survival tool and an escape route from reality. Somehow you made yourself belief that it protects you. However, it doesn't serve a positive purpose. When you boil it down, a worrying mind is like a broken record player stuck on the same song. Some negative thinking patterns become the only banjo note you can play for the lack of better skills. Anticipating negative outcomes has somehow established itself as a process your mind doesn't seem to have other options. You must start questioning your mind on this. Is my expecting the worst helping me or interfering with my genuine purposes? We all want success but do you? Your mind seems t have a different agenda. How long will you listen to your mind and not your higher self purpose in life? Once you realize that negative thinking patterns are the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your real self and disregard your mind as a nuisance. You must deem it unproductive. I always say to my perfectionist type students, "Your job is to make your perfectionism productive, right now it is the opposite."
Don't try to stop it!
Trying to stop negative thoughts doesn't work. I remember practicing to stop negative thoughts for a period of 21 days. I never made it to 7 days without negative thoughts. In this case, you can't fight fire with fire. You need an agent that destroys the negative thought from the inside. If you are always looking for the negative thoughts and nuking them, it won't work. You can't prevent them from happening. It is naive.
 
Vulnerability as a way to get deeper (section for guys in a long term relationship)
First of all becoming vulnerable with your girlfriend is NOT  a sign of weakness ...but of strength and women love it! It takes a big man to admit he feels vulnerable. If you see your girl flirting with a guy, tell her exactly how that makes you feel. Getting angry and jealous at her it is a sign  of weakness. It means you are not a man, you are reacting like a child. Let her know how you  felt when she was flirting with another guy. Don't say it right away. Pick a time when you are both together and enjoying your  time to bring this up. Be matter of fact and not emotional but make sure you tell her  how you feel about her flirting with another. If you  do this, she will never do it again and you will also score major points in terms of being a grown up man and not a child. Women hate boys but love grown up men. You might get some extra bonus compensatory sex that night. Women reward mature attitudes. They hate you being reactive and a little bitch. Acting like a little is what women do and expect you to tolerate as part of being a male. Women test you all the time, and this is one area where you will receive the most testing. Sometimes they flirt in front of you to see if you care. Women are insecure by nature and want guys to reassure them all the time. Part of reassurance is their testing. Women want to know if you are the real deal.
When you become vulnerable with her, not weak, you grow into bigger and better intimacy. It means you give her something that she hasn't experience with any other guy. You  become something of a rarity in her love life. She will reward this with loyalty and compliance. Guys who complain about their girlfriend not wanting to comply is because they haven't done enough to make her trust them. Once women know your vulnerable side they trust you further  into other things. They will also bond deeper with you.
So take any opportunity to become vulnerable with her. Make sure you do your homework and don't react to her tests, rather pass them comfortably. 
(back to article)
Join your enemy if you can't defeat it
I ask my students to invite negative thoughts in by all means "be negative" on program. It always has the opposite effect. They become automatically more positive. By making their negativity obvious to them they stop doing it. You basically go with the flow of the negative thought. Contrary to popular belief, the negative thought when called upon gets weaker and not reinforced. It happens because you become self aware of your stinking thinking patterns. Right at the beginning of the approaching session I instruct my students to "invite" negative thoughts in. At the beginning they come in floods but slowly they go away. They can't resist the light of awareness. They self destruct.
Focus on solutions
Ask yourself if there is a solution to the situation at hand. Negative patterns focus on the problem, not the solution. In switching your focus to the solution you automatically step out of the negative pattern. Is the situation really dangerous or is this another worst case scenario that never happens? How realistic am I being at this moment? Is the guy in the mixed set really the angry boyfriend that is going to kick my ass? What proof do I have she will reject me or my approach? How do I know this information other than taking the very action I don't want to perform?
Productive worrying are things that you can take care right away. They can translate into action that yields results. Unproductive thinking patterns have no answer because they are connected with the "what ifs" of life. "What if she rejects me", "what if she doesn't like me", "What if she called the cops" become unproductive thoughts because they can't be verified unless direct action is taken. I urge my students to invite those thoughts in to see how ridiculous and disempowering they are. To do that I situate them in front of a challenging situation that in the past they refused to approach. You put the finger straight into the wound in order to make it painful. Pain is the cure. You want to disregard thoughts that have no solution because they debilitate you. Expending your energy on problems doesn't really solve the problem. It only makes it worse by depleting energy resources that can be helpful when focused on solutions. On the other hand you want to listen to thoughts that sound negative but can be quickly verifiable and solvable. For example, "I might miss the plain" you might want to check your flight itinerary and make sure your commute to airport is arranged on time. "I might miss the plane" is a "valid" worry because It can be easily verifiable with simple actions and avoid negative consequences. "She might not like me" on the other hand cannot be "easily verifiable" unless you take direct action. "She won't like me" cannot be easily verifiable even after you took the action of approaching her, even then you might not know for sure if she likes you. So why worry about it? Like I mentioned earlier, worrying is a problem in itself.
Accepting the unacceptable
What is it that you can't tolerate or seemed to anyway? Sometimes the thing that you can't tolerate is living with uncertainty. "Not knowing" becomes extremely uncomfortable. Tell that to Columbus who set out to sea with nothing but a vague idea of where he was going. In many ways when you approach a girl that intimidates you you are a Christopher Columbus in a journey of discovery of new worlds with a difference: you won't die in the process. However, you must live with the uncertainty of not knowing the outcome of your actions beforehand. You want predictability in an unpredictable world. You need to know with 100 percent certainty you won't be rejected. You don't want unpleasant surprises and wish to control the outcome. Instead of worrying, you need to start addressing your need for safety and security in social situations that require risk taking. Your worrying is already keeping you from the good things in life. You are already paying a high price for worrying.
In my programs I want students to learn that failure is "acceptable" and it can be exciting. You can tolerate those scenarios you are avoiding. Rather than upsetting you they will show you that when "bad things happen" they are tolerable and never as bad as you imagine them. A girl not liking you doesn't have to turn into a drama, rather a stepping stone to better things to come. I urge my students to collect "no's". I insist they request "instadates" from girls they just met all the time and collect a few "no's" even when the possibility of the date is not there because she is in a hurry and going somewhere. As soon as they get a few "no's" and find "no's" are tolerable, they become bolder and start getting instant dates from 2 minute approaches. Why? Because they feel safe now with the "No's, they start getting the" yes's'.
Imagination gone wrong
when you use imagination to scare yourself out of taking action you any possibility of happiness. Somehow the process of imagining things went awry. At some point, you decided to use your imagination to paralyse yourself with negative outcomes. You have the power to project future scenarios in order to become successful, not to become a loser. You were given the gift of seeing things before they happen so that you make your dreams come true not the opposite.
So practice forecasting "good weather". Be the nice weather forecast, not the rainy type. Ask yourself how can I forecast  "good weather" in this social situation. It will be challenging to you to visualize having a great interaction with a girl seconds before you approach her.
Conclusion
Stretching your comfort zone will trigger "worst case scenario" type of thinking. You want to stretch and not shrink. If you are to succeed you need to amplify your negative thoughts and do the uncomfortable. You are short circuiting your mind when you challenge it that way. Remember that you can change your mind fairly quickly about situations if you just take the action. Action clarifies, it cuts through the bull. The right kind of action will have a transformational effect in a very short period of time. So take it.
 
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I will be next:
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
December 13-15, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 27-29, 2013: Berlin, Germany
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
 
 
 
 
10 Comments | 5,766 Views
Ozzie
 
Comments are welcome. -------------------------I will be next: November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, SwitzerlandNovember 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, NetherlandsNovember 15-17, 2013: London, United KingdomNovember 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, SwedenNovember 29-December 1, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, DenmarkDecember 13-15, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 20-22, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 27-29, 2013: Berlin, GermanyJanuary 3-5, 2014: London, United KingdomJanuary 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, FinlandFebruary 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomFebruary 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, SpainFebruary 28-March 2, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 7-9, 2014: Oslo, NorwayMarch 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, NetherlandsMarch 28-30, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 4-6, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 25-27, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 2-4, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, SwedenMay 23-25, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, DenmarkJune 6-8, 2014: London, United KingdomJune 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germanywww.rsdbootcamp.com------------------------------------------------- 
http://youtu.be/UNI8BSkUJBw Aproaching the hottest of the hotWatch body language, specially fidgeting, not making eye contact and looking you are out of your depth. Women of this calibre have seen it all before. They are jaded by this kind of behaviour. Nothing is going to cut it except a bee line to her and holding your ground. If you don't look good she won't have to bounce you, her friends will do it for her. They come with their entourage of not so hot friends who will be more than willing to "rescue" her from the odd guy. Playing the jerk won't help you if you are not a jerk because you will come across as overcompensating for your lack of confidence.Beauty in the eye of the beholderYeah, right. Super hot women intimidate men, period. Men are terrified at being reject by a hot girl. That's why they are great target practice. I even suggest  holding the student back until he has built his fear symptoms of fear to the max, only then allow him to approach. I also recommend approaching them in a very visible way so you heighten the sensations of fear. Take a walk across the room and build your fear as you approach her and then use that energy  by channelling into your performance.Steer clearSteer clear from beauty talk. Refuse to go there. Back in the old days we used to deliver to stunners the line, "Beauty is common but what do you have going for you?". Even that carefully crafted line will give out a stench of being affected by how she looks, so stay out of it. Mostly skanks will buy that line but true stunners won't because they know they are hot and how men react to them. Best to stay out of a conversation about her looks or you risk looking phased by her beauty. Talk about shoes, coffee shop, how you favour an specific airline over another but not looks. Plenty of topics out there to choose from.Be casual in your approach...if you canThey have heard it all before like guys pretending to be jerks, guys flashing jewellery, needy guys and so on. How about being casual? Look like you do this all the time, that you are comfortable approaching women. It doesn't happen by accident. You need to approach a lot in order to appear casual when you are actually going in for the kill. You want to own her, you want to look like it is not a big deal to do so.Regular barsRegular bars and clubs don't pack super hot women. You want to start going to venues that gather them. There is a watering hole in every major city where hot girls go. Be there. Find such place and become a regular. Most places like that it is tough to get in. Either get friendly with the staff or arrive super early. Most hot venues have strict door policies to prevent low value guys from getting in. Dress code is key as well as wits. You want to find your way around the gate keepers. If you want to land hot girls you need to approach lots of them. Actually having a strict door policy will work in your favour later in the game where you become a regular. You will appreciate the fact that you are the only player there. Befriend promoters, managers and door men. Grease the wheels with a bit of bribe cash if you must. Anything to get your foot in the door.Having FunA good indicator of your pickup ability is how much fun you are having. Make sure that you seem to always be having more fun than the girl. Self amusement is key. Most guys cannot self amuse because they are too afraid. Getting rid of your fears is key to self amuse. You want to be more comfortable than the girl. If you go to the same club all the time you will desensitize yourself to the venue and have more chances of having fun. Don't underestimate the feel good factor when approaching the super hot.----------Old resource
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgtUmTVqxsQ&list=PL579023F1D067092F  Comments are welcome. -------------------------I will be next: November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, SwitzerlandNovember 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, NetherlandsNovember 15-17, 2013: London, United KingdomNovember 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, SwedenNovember 29-December 1, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, DenmarkDecember 13-15, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 20-22, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 27-29, 2013: Berlin, GermanyJanuary 3-5, 2014: London, United KingdomJanuary 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, FinlandFebruary 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomFebruary 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, SpainFebruary 28-March 2, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 7-9, 2014: Oslo, NorwayMarch 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, NetherlandsMarch 28-30, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 4-6, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 25-27, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 2-4, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, SwedenMay 23-25, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, DenmarkJune 6-8, 2014: London, United KingdomJune 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germanywww.rsdbootcamp.com-------------------------------------------------  
19 Comments | 7,108 Views
Ozzie
 
Hi Guys,Quick update. I am in Frankfurt, nice flight of one hour. Frankfurt program soon to be started. Haven't been here for a year. Getting the program into gear and dropping this article I wrote recently. Going back to written articles and free tour videos. Comments are welcome.--------------------------------I will be next:October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, GermanyOctober 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, SwitzerlandNovember 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, NetherlandsNovember 15-17, 2013: London, United KingdomNovember 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, SwedenNovember 29-December 1, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, DenmarkDecember 13-15, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 20-22, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 27-29, 2013: Berlin, GermanyJanuary 3-5, 2014: London, United KingdomJanuary 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, FinlandFebruary 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomFebruary 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, SpainFebruary 28-March 2, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 7-9, 2014: Oslo, NorwayMarch 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, NetherlandsMarch 28-30, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 4-6, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 25-27, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 2-4, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, SwedenMay 23-25, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, DenmarkJune 6-8, 2014: London, United KingdomJune 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany www.rsdbootcamp.com-------------------------------------------------I often have the typical guy on program who wants results today but he hides it from me. But as a coach, you can see that he wants results badly to validate his Bootcamp. Bootcamp sometimes offers that possibility of quick results. But don't let them fool you, it is in no way a sign of good things to come. Students sometimes can't handle quick results without success going straight up to their heads. They need to suffer defeat in order to learn. Not unusual for guys to do well on the first night and crash on the second night because they wanted to perform at least at the same level of the previous night. There are no repeat performances in Pickup. Because you never remain the same from one day to the next. You might be chasing rainbows out there because you can't repeat performances EXACTLY as before simply because you changed with the performance. Performance changed and you changed with the performance. 
 http://youtu.be/fNQvsOq2OwI If you grew up being praised for your accomplishments (grades, appearance, people pleasing and other forms of performance) but praise was removed when you didn't, you are basically trained like a Pablov's dog at the sound of the dinner bell. You salivate for praise. No wonder you crash your state when you have no tangible results. This is the basis for perfectionism. It is wrong because your self esteem is based on what others think of you. So even when others are not there, there is no judge or juror you become your own judge and juror. You are probably harder on yourself than others. You are the ultimate punisher for bad results.The protective shieldYou think having results will protect you from the juror. Actually it is being the ultimate judge and juror of your performance is what will prevent you from progress. You are on the defensive. You won't try risky things because you don't want to fail because you want to keep the judge(yourself) away. You don't want negative marks. The self-imposed yoke or belief is that you will be able to atone the judgment if somehow you would perform better EVERYTIME. It is the idea that you will be protected if you didn't make mistakes. Safe from criticism, self criticism, you will enjoy a sweet ride.But since performance is all perception(from outside), you fail to be internally motivated. In other words, you are performing for "others". But you are the judge. You internalized other's judgment and now you decide with other's point of view. The feelings of not being "good enough" or "feeling like crap" come from this dysfunctional way of evaluating your performance. Instead of saying "I did this, and I did that, which I never done before", you minimize your accomplishment by saying for example,  "But the girl was not hot enough". "Hot enough" is judgment of others that somehow you made it your own. Not saying you should approach skanks and fatties here. You aim for the hottest girl around you. That's it. Sometimes the hottest girl around you might not the "perfect girl". Remember that hotness is relative to the venue. May you need to go to a hotter club if your girls are not quality enough. But by taking away your merits through self criticism you bring yourself down in the process. Self judgment is the enemy of progress. You have internalized a set of beliefs and standards imposed by others and you mercilessly and systematically apply them to yourself. Your motivation is the ultimate casualty. But without motivation you accomplish nothing. It is obsession with performance that kills performance in the first place. The imperfect approach you did is always better than the one you never did because you were looking for a perfect set of circumstances to "perform" and protect yourself against the judge and jurors.Eliminate the "ifs" and "whens" from your vocabularythe internal jurors  would like you to think that  things will get better  "if" and "when" certain other things are "accomplished". Not true. Things will improve  if and when you internally "fire" this juror from this ultimate position of power. For example, it tells you "you will only have great value when/if.."you can attract a certain type of girlsyou get promotedyou buy a new caryou make certain amount of moneyIt is all a crock. But you believe it. You know than even when those things happen you will still be miserable. The internal juror will make you miserable anyway. Let's say you have a threesome and the internal juror decides than one girl was not hot enough. Let's say you get the promotion but the money was not as good as you expected plus you have to work extra hours. It never ends.Living the dreamSo, if you tell yourself, "I am crap". How can you improve crap? You gave yourself no choice there because crap cannot be improved. Instead, if you tell yourself, "I made a mistake here and I know I can do better". That's progress. There is a difference between making a mistake and being one. Actually  without mistakes there wouldn't be progress, you wouldn't know where to work. Sometimes the mistakes are made in the area of "self criticism" not in real life. Some activities require a whole lot of "mistakes" because they are like contact sports, the more contact, the more you learn and mistakes are irrelevant in the big scheme of things. So if you feel you are mistake all the time, there is no chance for you. Cold approaching is such an activity where making mistakes is part of the deal. When you stop caring about mistakes, then things happen.Releasing the internal pressureFor you to perform and grow  you need to release that internal pressure. You need to silence the  inner critic. Re-evaluate your expectations. Is it about getting good grades or becoming an engineer, a doctor, or a lawyer? Who is going to remember your grades 20 years from now? All people will know is that you became a doctor  or a lawyer or a teacher. That's all they need to know. When I go to a doctor, I don't ask for his grades. I just want to know whether "he is" a doctor. Emphasis on "is". The real goal in cold approaching is to become good all around with women, which includes, yes, getting laid, but it is not all of it. After getting laid for a while, you  might decide to settle down with one woman, somebody you not only fancy but like too. So keep the big picture in mind. ----------------Old Resource of The Week(oldie but goodie) 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEDFEa8tVLw  -------------------------I will be next:October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, GermanyOctober 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, SwitzerlandNovember 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, NetherlandsNovember 15-17, 2013: London, United KingdomNovember 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, SwedenNovember 29-December 1, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, DenmarkDecember 13-15, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 20-22, 2013: London, United KingdomDecember 27-29, 2013: Berlin, GermanyJanuary 3-5, 2014: London, United KingdomJanuary 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, FinlandFebruary 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomFebruary 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, SpainFebruary 28-March 2, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 7-9, 2014: Oslo, NorwayMarch 14-16, 2014: London, United KingdomMarch 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, NetherlandsMarch 28-30, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 4-6, 2014: London, United KingdomApril 25-27, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 2-4, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, SwedenMay 23-25, 2014: London, United KingdomMay 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, DenmarkJune 6-8, 2014: London, United KingdomJune 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germanywww.rsdbootcamp.com-------------------------------------------------
15 Comments | 5,412 Views
Ozzie
 
Hey guys,
In this article you will learn:
Pure Pickup Content without gimmicks, funky hats, or marketing manipulations.
Comments are welcome.

--------------------------------
I will be next:


October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My4xB8cPdvU

--------------------------------
I will be next:

October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark
www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------

8 Comments | 4,187 Views
Ozzie
 
Hey guys,
In this article you will learn:
How to grow skills by focusing on changing behaviour patterns
What develop skills quickly and for the long term
How to make sure you don't waste time when skill learning

Not really sure today about what to do. Written articles don't carry a lot of weight, so I have decided to give this a go. Let's try video only and see what happens. At the end it doesn't really matter the quality of the article or how well written. Sometimes I think putting a cat playing with a thread in my videos will get more views than talking any "serious" pickup content. Internet works the way it works. Not up to me to change it.
Comments are welcome.

--------------------------------
I will be next:

October 10-11, 2013: October 10-11, 2013: Antwerp, Belgium
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------
I will be next:

October 10-11, 2013: Antwerp, Belgium
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp)
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------
26 Comments | 8,215 Views
Ozzie
 
Hey guys,

In this article you will learn:
How to grow skills fast
What successful people do to develop skills
How to make sure you don't waste time when skill learning


Comments are welcome.

--------------------------------
I will be next:
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom
(Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark


www.rsdbootcamp.com

-------------------------------------------------

 



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXsDLwsROgc


Can't learn new things rapidly. Can't teach old dogs new
tricks. Not true. It doesn't take long for your neuropath ways to learn a new
skill. We have extremely capable brains. All we need is willingness to put your
mind to something. According to experts, it doesn't take more than 20 hours for
your brain of consistent practice for your brain to start learning and adapting
effectively to a task. Humans are fast learners. We were born  to adapt.

Let's explore what it takes to learn quickly. Successful
people might go about doing this in a different way than you. If you can mirror
super successful people's mindset we mind end with something.

I remember this interview with my favourite celebrity actor
Christopher Walken in which he said something like, "I only read my part
in a script, I never read the whole thing". I realized that Christopher
Walken was looking for speed. He had many scripts to pick his movies. This is
how he saved time. One thing about successful people is they keep things
simple.
The old KISS method applies to them. Simplicity is hard. Most geniuses
are simple in their approach to their line of work. Too many choices cloud the
mind. They lead to confusion and lack of action. At the club level it could
mean doing the set right next to you. It could mean approaching the hottest
girl in the club. Whatever simplicity means for you, just do it.

To become successful, you must become realistic and
specific. Create a goal that is measurable. How would you know if you succeeded
if you can't measure it? Instead of saying "I want to be more
social", say "I want to approach ten new girls today". That way
you would know when you hit the target. People who develop fast, they have
quantifiable goals. You will get excited when you  accomplish.

Impossibly high standards for success might get in the way
to develop skills fast. The sky won't fall if 
you don't dot every "I" or cross every "T". You want
to avoid delays, stress and under achieving by being a perfectionist. You might
get discouraged that way. The universe becomes reluctant to give to
perfectionist types. Face it, you will never be good enough at something. But
you can get things done now. Getting things done is more important than
perfection.

The problem of not being ready becomes your number one
problem. Successful people won't wait until they are ready. Opportunities to
learn abound but you  won't learn unless
you want to do the uncomfortable. You 
want to embrace the opportunity even when not ready. Get used to
stretching out of your comfort zone.

In addition, the cliché "Work smarter..." applies
here. Approach sets where there  is a
maximum learning yield and discard situations that do not strain you. Like body
building, "no  pain, no gain".

Becoming a problem solver seems to accompany greatness.
Sometimes you stunt speedy skill learning by relying too much on expert. You
can learn to play the guitar faster by learning the sounds of the chords as
opposed to searching for the you tube video that explains the particular song
you are trying to learn. By resolving problems on your  own, you train yourself for when they appear
in the future. You can fail at something many times and it becomes a learning
experience for the  future problems. By
avoiding the trial and error you avoid learning. Intentionally "plan
failure" so you become more resourceful.

Over training can stunt skill learning. You might do better
by spreading your learning in short intervals as opposed to marathon sessions
that leave you tired and frustrated. You might want to allot time in short
bursts to your skill learning but make sure it is regular as opposed to long
sessions. You keep it interesting that way. I am in the habit of quitting when
I feel excited and feel like things are working out. It keeps me hungry for my
next session.

Hope you apply smart skill learning which equals faster
skill acquisition. Skill practicing doesn't necessarily mean acquiring skills.
You can get skills faster if you apply the principles outlined in this article.

--------------------------------
I will be next:
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom
(Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark


www.rsdbootcamp.com

-------------------------------------------------
25 Comments | 5,976 Views
Ozzie
 
 Hey guys,
In this article you will learn:
How to break through your "false" identity
How to define your identity in dating
How to change your identity

Comments are welcome.
--------------------------------
I will be next:
September 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
September 27-29, 2013: Oslo, Norway 
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom
(Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------

 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ycE4zhvZY

Who you are
It is possible to know who you are. You don't have to go on
a cave or spiritual retreat to find that out. Mostly you would have to make an
inventory of your behaviours and beliefs and scrutinize them for clues as to
you really are. Who you are is already happening, it is just that you are not
really made aware of it. Living in denial about who you really are could be
part of your identity.

I remember somebody telling me one time I was
"kind" and I didn't think he was referring to me. However, I explored
my identity and found kindness there under a hip of assumptions and
rationalizations about me. Another time I thought I was a coach and that was
who I was. But on more scrutiny I realized I was really a teacher. The answer
was always simpler. I just needed to pay attention.

 Identity as a source of misery
All pain comes from not knowing. That's why a maxim is
spirituality is "Know Thyself". That's where true freedom lies.
Because if you know yourself you won't be a victim of fake identities or
"super imposed" labels like "geeky computer programmer"
or  "weirdo with girls" or anything like that. Problems starts when identity is defined from outside. You
start pinging off your environment to define who you are. So if a girl happens to
reject you, then all of a sudden you are "bad with girls". That will
cause you to bleed from that identity. Subconsciously you might be doing things
to "live up" to that identity. What people think of you can't be your
identity because they only know the superficial you. I used to make my clients
draw on program "how others saw them" and then, another drawing of
how they really saw themselves. Then I would help them define their real
identities by creating a more truthful picture of who they were with elements
of both. This exercise help them present themselves to women in more truthful,
grounded way.

Vulnerability
Your real identity should make you feel vulnerable. You must
not present yourself to others like a superhero because it would be far from
who you really are. I normally advice my students to acknowledge to women when
they feel awkward by talking with them. By admitting their shortcoming to a
woman, not only they connect with her at a more human level, they find out it
doesn't affect the interaction, but helps ground it. Next time, you approach tell
a girl, "It feels awkward talking to you like this but I had to...".
If you feel like that for real. You must remain genuine. That's far more
powerful than playing superhero smooth talker. Actually, you might say that
admitting you feel awkward is smooth talking.

Identity change
Not really. You might want to get rid of false identities
you have adopted out of need or out of lack of identity.
For example, it might suit you to describe yourself as
"a nerd" because it is comfortable. By assuming that nerds are not
successful with women, you don't have to step out of comfort zone and approach
a hot girl you like. You want to get rid of all self-serving identities that
keep you miserable. You want to foster more challenging identities that remain
under the surface. You must dig deep.

Being A Work in Progress, never finished
As a defective man, you might find yourself playing the role
of "invulnerable". This identity is based on fear. By trying to be
invulnerable, you will delay the formation of a true identity. You will keep
yourself in misery that way. There is a lot of wishful thinking involved in an
"incomplete" person. They are always wishing they were different but
they are not. He might mask it by creating a huge following in facebook, or
social media, creating a family for selfish reasons, being a jerk when he
doesn't have to. He plays into the image of the superhero.

On the flip side, a complete person is not afraid to be
vulnerable and fail.
As a complete human being you have gone beyond your
condition of being imperfect. You accept failure and mistakes and realize they
are not the end of the world. You don't need others to complete you. That's
where the freedom is. You are not trapped in an identity that doesn't suit you.
You are miserable when you don't know who you really are. Human condition is
one of emotional pain. Get in touch with the pain, and you are human. Try to
avoid it and you become a robot.
--------------------------------
I will be next:
September 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
September 27-29, 2013: Oslo, Norway 
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom (Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark

www.rsdbootcamp.com
-------------------------------------------------

 

 

 
18 Comments | 5,706 Views
Ozzie
 
Hey Guys,

In this article you will learn

How afraid you are of making it big
How you resist the sweet nectar of victory and why
How to overcome self sabotage in your  life 


--------------------------------
I will be next:
September 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
September 27-29, 2013: Oslo, Norway 
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom
(Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark


www.rsdbootcamp.com
------------------------------------------------



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wz77YwG4QA

You become very predictable when you are in fear. It doesn't
matter what kind of fear, success or failure. Your neuro pathways will be
triggered in the same way and you will recoil. That's why there is no
difference between fear of failure and fear of success, two sides of the same
coin. You will avoid situations where you could be successful as well as a
failure. One thing you notice is that excitement has the same neuro pathways
than fear. You can't have excitement without fear. But the fact that the same
neuro pathways are triggered becomes a problem. The closer you get to success
the more you fear it. If you have played video games you might have already
experienced this. The closer you got to the end of the game, the more excited
you became but also fearful. You don't know what will happen if/when you succeed.
Then it is fear all over again taking over. If you avoid excitement because it
reminds you of fear, you avoid success in the process.
 Fear of Getting a Whole New Identity
If you win, you might become a winner. If you put winners in
society on a pedestal, you are also feeding your fears of becoming one. If you
are on a pedestal, you might be too visible. People might decide to take pot
shots at your head. In other words you fear becoming a target. You worry with
this new identity you might turn into something you don't like, or your family
won't like. Part of the change is to leave your old self behind. For becoming
new the old you must die. What if you don't like what you become?
To curve this, try to leave scarcity mentality behind. You
can always go back and slip into your old shoes of being a loser. That
possibility will still be there when you take on the new "winner"
identity. Get excited about discovering this new emerging you about to be born.
In other words, you need to step into your power, no matter how scary and take
charge. Be careful, you might like it. You see students stepping into their
power on program. Once they get rid of their fears, they become bold,
aggressive and nonchalant about success. They find out they are not losing anything
but adding.
Failing is Easy
You might want to stay with the familiar, failure. You know
it inside out. It doesn't bother you anymore. You learned to live with it. But
you are afraid you won't be able to handle success. You are entering uncharted
land. You are afraid of the stress, pressure and demands success can bring. It
is ok to fail small, but not big. Big fat success attracts too much attention
and scrutiny, so does big fat failures. The closer you get to success, the more
your mind will try to screw up your performance so you don't have to deal with
the unknown. How many times you have heard a guy saying, "I was about to
pull a girl when....."failure"? It reminds of those ball players who
fall down when they are about to score. Subconscious is too powerful.
You don't think you are up to the challenge.
To navigate those fears, you might want to think that it
took a lot of energy to live with failure, and that energy can be used
alternatively to live in success. In other words, if you can handle failure,
you can handle success. You will have to make a few adjustments but you will
live. Also keep in mind, success comes with big fat bonuses of increased
confidence,  quality relationships and
enjoyment of life.
Be Like Cristiano Ronaldo!
My favourite soccer player by far today. He embodies  a winning mentality. He is famous for
performing better while taunted by the crowd. The worst thing that can happen
to him is to be ignored. He plays better when he has the spotlight and the
pressure. That's how winners are made. Nothing motivates him more than
thousands of people chanting against him. He revels in it.
Can you enjoy the pressure of success? Can you deal with the
attention and the challenges? What's wrong with you? Do you put off things that
you know will lead to success? on purpose? What don't you want to find out? Are
afraid to stop being average?
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I will be next: 
September 20-22, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
September 27-29, 2013: Oslo, Norway 
October 11-13, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
October 18-20, 2013: Frankfurt, Germany 
October 25-27, 2013: London, United Kingdom
(Special Daygame Only Bootcamp) 
November 1-3, 2013: Zurich, Switzerland 
November 8-10, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands 
November 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
November 22-24, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden 
November 29-December 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom 
December 6-8, 2013: Copenhagen, Denmark

www.rsdbootcamp.com
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