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Successful dating types



When you look at guys who succeed with women you can’t help but notice certain traits that are common to all. Those traits form if you will an archetype that we can decide to emulate, like a role model of sorts. However, you must understand owning those trait is not a requirement to succeed in dating. I have met men who don’t display such traits but still succeed with women. However, most men who seem to have a happy, healthy dating life full of choice and abundance tend to follow a sort of pattern. In dating science, we, as instructors, break those down and try and spot them in our students or teach them somehow.

I will outline some of these traits.

1. Synergistic relationship between logic and passion. Guys who succeed with wome n don’t show a contradiction between what they want and what they go after. It seems like logic and passion are married in a perfect way. They are intuitively, sexually and impulsively attracted to beautiful women with exact, surgical, and intellectual calculation. They want what they want and they go after it with ease. There is not the usual contradiction of “she is the want that I want but I am afraid she might reject me”. Since passion and logic go hand in hand they just seem to go from A to B faster than the average guy.

2. They don’t seem to fear. Time and again, the average guy seems to dodge opportunities to meet attractive women due to fear of rejection. A successful dating type, not only engages women he likes in an interaction but also seems to get away with it. Since they have zero fear of rejection, they enjoy the benefits of having a clear head and sound judgment when they initiate interactions. They also trust their instincts and seem to go for the right moves at the right time. It is all a by product of non-existent fear. Performance doesn’t get sabotaged.

(I thought about re-post this video from a live coaching session for those who didn’t see it. It has to do with Fear Technology, a concept I have been developing to increase performance fast. My voice is almost gone after a night out in the clubs but you still can hear me deliver what I think is the core of fear technology to meet women. I have been developing fear technology for the last 2 years and I have gotten to a point where it has been field tested long enough so I can release it into the world. I am very excited because it keeps developing, growing and bringing results to my clients.)



3. They fix what needs to be fixed. I have found they are easy to coach because they have fewer hang ups. They are not afraid to change something that is not working for them. They rarely give it a second thought when you, as a coach, point out something in their behaviour that needs to be fixed. They are trusting yet not naive.

4. They don’t seem to fall into the usual traps of meeting women. Women don’t test them as much. Women tend to test guys who display inauthentic behaviour. They implicitly trust the successful dating types because they are trustworthy. They don’t hide their intentions, they rarely resort to “impressing others” or “winning others over”, that’s why their interactions are manipulation free. They tend to raise less red flags or “bitchy” behaviours and if they do, they just ignore them and keep going.

5. Dating techniques and tactics tend to raise healthy curiosity but not an obsession. Obsession over dating techniques tend to defeat its purpose. It drives guys to be “unnatural” in their interaction with women. Too much micromanagement of interactions causes interactions to not flow and is detrimental to success. Successful dating types have a healthy interest in dating tactics and techniques but they know most of the work has to be done by themselves not by an specific method or approach to dating. Women pick the man behind the tactics not the tactics themselves. So who you are is more important than the method being employed to meet a woman.

I could go on forever about the different features of successful men in dating. I just wanted to give you the broad strokes of somebody who is successful with women and how you could or not emulate those who are successful. Like I have said before, you can succeed with women despite your limitations. However, it doesn’t hurt to look at the most common successful types and draw wisdom from them.

The winding road of learning to be yourself



It is amazing that guys who obsess over dating tactics, after long and hard years of learning, they end up becoming successful dating types like I have outlined above. They get there through the tortuous ways of learning tactics and techniques. They get to the point where everything seems to click and they start to drop most of their inauthentic behaviours and let their real selves shine through. They become.

Can you speed up this process? Can you manipulate it? Can you get there sooner rather than later by “doing something”?

You can and you can’t

Sometimes one thing changes and everything changes. I give one piece of advice to a student and he runs wild with it and he achieves tremendous success with just one piece. Sometimes many things need to change before you become successful. In that case you had more to overcome. Hard to say because it is up to the personality of the individual.

However, you can, in fact, learn to be successful. It is learnable. That’s the good news. No matter that it is through big changes or a single change in what you are doing so far. You can improve. I remember how needy I was around women and how I would think if I got one girl, she was my only chance for love. However, after I succeeded repeatedly and had sometimes more women that I could handle, I changed that neediness. I actually went the other way and started acting like a jerk around the opposite sex. I don’t think that’s very healthy either. So I had to work my way to a healthy middle ground. But it proves that changes come in unexpected ways.

Emulating/mimicking successful types

This could be a double edged sword. By copying behaviours you won’t go far. Behaviours don’t stick unless they are rooted in your personality. For example, it will be tremendously incongruent for a geek to act like a jock. It will achieve the opposite result at times. A jock has always been a jock. You can’t step into his shoes without paying dearly for it. The same way, you won’t be able to implant a “successful dating type of guy” personality which is a sum of many successful behaviours without looking incongruent.

What to do if you want to emulate a successful type?

Pick that one thing about him that makes more sense to you. For example, let’s explore number 1 in the list above, “marriage between passion and logic”. Start there. Find where you have been failing in this area. Investigate why you have failed repeatedly to go after the women you want. Was it fear of rejection? Was it fear of failure? Was it fear of looking bad in front of others? Why is this not working for you?

Then try and change that piece. Make sure you slowly acquire this knack for going after what you want. Make it a goal to approach every woman who is attractive in your everyday life. Disregard the results of your actions. Do it no matter what. That’s your new rule. Live by your rule.
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Comments

#1

Johnathan Sampson

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/10/2009 | Posts: 697

Ozzie wrote:
What to do if you want to emulate a successful type?

Pick that one thing about him that makes more sense to you. For example, let’s explore number 1 in the list above, “marriage between passion and logic”. Start there. Find where you have been failing in this area. Investigate why you have failed repeatedly to go after the women you want. Was it fear of rejection? Was it fear of failure? Was it fear of looking bad in front of others? Why is this not working for you?

Then try and change that piece. Make sure you slowly acquire this knack for going after what you want. Make it a goal to approach every woman who is attractive in your everyday life. Disregard the results of your actions. Do it no matter what. That’s your new rule. Live by your rule.

I can't

I'm ugly

I get 16-25 year olds confusing me with a person in my thirties even though i'm 25

Atleast I discovered my piece

Can't approach every girl i'm attracted to since they would be creeped out by my hideous looks. Had plenty of them refer to me as "creepy old guy hitting on younger girls" 
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#2
Wurzel

Wurzel

Member

Join Date: 05/30/2010 | Posts: 47

Great Post Ozzie


Sums up much of what I have been going through the previous weeks, and I came to the same conclusion somewhere along the line:

no matter what I see, feel, hear, smell, taste etc... etc... know for a fact what I'm doing is heading down the right path and let no results change it.
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#3

holdmydrinkbitch

Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 35

Ozzie wrote
Dating techniques and tactics tend to raise healthy curiosity but not an obsession. Obsession over dating techniques tend to defeat its purpose. It drives guys to be “unnatural” in their interaction with women. Too much micromanagement of interactions causes interactions to not flow and is detrimental to success. Successful dating types have a healthy interest in dating tactics and techniques but they know most of the work has to be done by themselves not by an specific method or approach to dating. Women pick the man behind the tactics not the tactics themselves. So who you are is more important than the method being employed to meet a woman.

Defiantly dating tatics boost my confidence when I use them, but if I try to use to many I micromanage and its really painful and not fun, you put it into perfect wording

Also and most importantly I was 3rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#4

almightyhashka

Member

Join Date: 10/09/2010 | Posts: 59

 awesome post
u get to the core of stuff real fast
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#5

Jaguar23

Member

Join Date: 01/31/2011 | Posts: 82

Johnathan Sampson wrote:







Ozzie wrote:
What to do if you want to emulate a successful type?

Pick that one thing about him that makes more sense to you. For example, let’s explore number 1 in the list above, “marriage between passion and logic”. Start there. Find where you have been failing in this area. Investigate why you have failed repeatedly to go after the women you want. Was it fear of rejection? Was it fear of failure? Was it fear of looking bad in front of others? Why is this not working for you?

Then try and change that piece. Make sure you slowly acquire this knack for going after what you want. Make it a goal to approach every woman who is attractive in your everyday life. Disregard the results of your actions. Do it no matter what. That’s your new rule. Live by your rule.

I can't

I'm ugly

I get 16-25 year olds confusing me with a person in my thirties even though i'm 25

Atleast I discovered my piece

Can't approach every girl i'm attracted to since they would be creeped out by my hideous looks. Had plenty of them refer to me as "creepy old guy hitting on younger girls" 
THats good. Although you might find it a little steeper learning curve when you start off in the game, your game will be more solid and sustainable because it will not rely on your looks.

Also Btw RSD teaches and they're right that your looks do not contribute to attracting a girl. What matters is your behaviour and what you do.
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#6
The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353

Great article. 

That video is one of my favourites.
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#7
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Johnathan Sampson wrote:







Ozzie wrote:
What to do if you want to emulate a successful type?

Pick that one thing about him that makes more sense to you. For example, let’s explore number 1 in the list above, “marriage between passion and logic”. Start there. Find where you have been failing in this area. Investigate why you have failed repeatedly to go after the women you want. Was it fear of rejection? Was it fear of failure? Was it fear of looking bad in front of others? Why is this not working for you?

Then try and change that piece. Make sure you slowly acquire this knack for going after what you want. Make it a goal to approach every woman who is attractive in your everyday life. Disregard the results of your actions. Do it no matter what. That’s your new rule. Live by your rule.

I can't

I'm ugly

I get 16-25 year olds confusing me with a person in my thirties even though i'm 25

Atleast I discovered my piece

Can't approach every girl i'm attracted to since they would be creeped out by my hideous looks. Had plenty of them refer to me as "creepy old guy hitting on younger girls" 

Then you must open with the very last line of your post.
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#8
Moving truck 37

Moving truck 37

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/14/2010 | Posts: 154

1 and 2 are so valuable, intent, no fear, have fun
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#9
Leo-~

Leo-~

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/19/2008 | Posts: 315

Ozzie,

Don't you think that focusing so much on 'fear' makes fear actually more real for your students?

Why not focus on fun instead?
Don't you think that making such a big deal out of fear maybe could actually really make the game more scary?

Thanks for the videos, they are really amazing!
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#10
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Leo-~ wrote:
Ozzie,

Don't you think that focusing so much on 'fear' makes fear actually more real for your students?

Why not focus on fun instead?
Don't you think that making such a big deal out of fear maybe could actually really make the game more scary?

Thanks for the videos, they are really amazing!

there is no fun when you are afraid. fun starts when fear ends.
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#11
Kaladyn

Kaladyn

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/12/2010 | Posts: 663

Good post Ozzie.

"Too much micromanagement of interactions causes interactions to not flow and is detrimental to success."

This , combined with the article, is something I needed to hit on again.  - Thanks
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#12

HaydenM

Member

Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 69

"Today is all about the system. How we learn the system. Apply the system. And learn the system" LAWLL
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#13
swordofguard

swordofguard

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/10/2009 | Posts: 23

 Omg.. Ozzie, you're like a therapy for me.
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#14
SCB

SCB

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2010 | Posts: 194

Ozzie wrote:

Then try and change that piece. Make sure you slowly acquire this knack for going after what you want. Make it a goal to approach every woman who is attractive in your everyday life. Disregard the results of your actions. Do it no matter what. That’s your new rule. Live by your rule.

and suddenly I feel things have "clicked" in me :)
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