Ozzie's Blog


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You always get this on program “I have this friend who is a natural, really good with women. I

can’t possibly beat that guy”.  His identity, the person he believes he is, already has a core

belief which says that, “I am the type of guy who is not good with women”. It points to the

fact that he thinks that this is not a skill, just a “talent”. In others words either you have it or

you don’t. He is doomed.

Identity becomes a behaviour


We tend to be defined by results. It permeates who you are. Results minded people end up

full of fear because they can’t stand when they lose. That’s why you think “when i get that

result(hot girl) I will be attractive to other women”. The result will transform us. We fall

victims to this toxic mindset and get defined by results. It becomes our identity.

When you let results define who you are, girls or whatever else you  become a byproduct of

your results minded orientation. For example, you give too much importance to isolated

single events (like hooking up with a hot girl every night and so on)that have nothing to do

with growth or true success. This identity is not sustainable over long periods of time and it

will get in the way of your effectiveness in field. Because not every night you will be able to

produce amazing results and on that night you will be miserable. It will affect the rest of the

nights. In line with that you will think that that’s the way the world perceives you..like a loser.

You become the product of  a fixed, rigid mindset that will slow you down in your way to

better yourself. 


Here is the straight dope

Your daily actions will ultimately define who you are, the way you see yourself. As your

external behaviour changes so will your identity. Success habits work better when changing

your identity. For example, in my body building days, I would show up at the gym regardless

of how I felt that day. My identity changed as a result of that. I felt committed to it and

started feeling stronger, better, more energetic. If I had a bad day at the gym, I did what I

could and left. But as my habits change, so did my identity from a skinny, out of shape guy

to a guy who knew a lot about nutrition and building muscle. It was the habit that changed

me, not the results. Results came but it was a side dish brought on by new habits. That’s

what a growth mindset looks like, not results. We focus on habits that create a new identity.

Skills can be nurtured and grown
Guys with an identity problem they don’t seem to see a way out of the darkness. They think

they are doomed by not being born with the talent. Skills you can develop and cultivate.

There is no “talent” called skill. You can become better at anything by focusing on building

healthy habits of thinking and acting. I like that thing Tyler talks about “holding yourself to a

higher standard” when you come to bootcamp and not accepting “second rate behaviour”

from yourself. It is about building a “new” identity. “New” to you but it is not new, it has been

done over and over from the beginning of time. Instead of focusing on the big biceps, think of

eating clean protein in your diet (new identity forming habit). Instead of getting laid tonight,

think of approaching the hottest group in the club and owning it. Process, not perfection. In

this process, don’t be afraid to fail big. Failing is not a habit, it is a result. You focus on habit.

Belief: Personality traits are immoveable
Most guys with a rigid mindset think whatever they have is ALL they have, that it can not be

developed. The mind tells you stories over and over and you believe them. Your mind,

always on survival mode, will convince with realistic examples that you are not good enough

for the task at hand. That you have to stick with the hand that was dealt to you. You cannot

develop beyond what you have. However there is no reason why you cannot develop new

skills or get new ones because skills are acquired by nature. You can become better at being

social, at talking with women and why not? At bedding them.

Actions speak louder than words
Habits are actions. Actions transform.

Have a game plan and stick to it, no matter what. Game plans involves schedules, short

term milestones(not results), making time so you make sure you are there. The most

powerful process oriented goal in your transformation is showing up. Showing up for yourself.

Just like the most important part of approaching is just opening your set. Sometimes it is all

you have to do and the rest flows after that.

I will be next:
BootcampAugust 28-30, 2015: London, United KingdomSign-Up
BootcampSeptember 4-6, 2015: London, United KingdomSign-Up
BootcampSeptember 11-13, 2015: Stockholm, SwedenSign-Up
BootcampSeptember 18-20, 2015: London, United Kingdom

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Senior Member

Join Date: 07/22/2011 | Posts: 112

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Respected Member

Join Date: 08/18/2015 | Posts: 554

Great Article. 

The idea of being process oriented is something I'm hearing more and more lately.

One-off Wrote:
Life is a journey and process of evolution. Learning a new skill is also a journey and process of evolution. The end result of life is death. So the focusing of end results is the focus of death.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/07/2015 | Posts: 201

ozzies videos might be the best. Short and simple 
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Join Date: 08/22/2013 | Posts: 32

Ozzie is very practical, sharp like a samurai sword.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 07/30/2015 | Posts: 155

In "The Physical Game" you do a really great job of introducing coaching drills that we can take and do on our own. And as far as self-coaching, so much of game is about transcending your egoic self, stepping back, and being able to direct yourself forward in pursuit of a greater vision. This applies on a macro level, as far as being more long-term oriented, but also on a micro level, as far as "escalate right now even if it fails, forget your ego". A fluid mindset is definitely the key to progress in this and in so much else.
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