Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
Kiss Foot

You attract what you are, not what you are trying to be. May be, all you are is a weirdo in a club at this point. Been there done that. No shame in it. If I look at the barrage of head cases I used to fuck I must admit that it was all me. None other. I was running all kinds of weird shit in my game that made girls fall into mental loops of liking me. Think about it. What sort of girls fall into mental loops? Loony ones. I was attracting the exact type of girls that was meant to attract with the type of crap I was running.

I was never myself, I hid my intentions all the time, I had phony memorized jokes and lines, etc... Who would fall for that? You guessed it, weird chicks. They would do crazy shit to be with me because my weirdness stroke a cord with theirs. Attraction guaranteed. But I was getting laid so that meant I was good, right? Really?

Something Terribly Wrong. Personality Functions

Phony

This is when pick up is a function of your personality, not who you are. It is simple. For example, you discover that when you are positive, people tend to give you more approval and you feel better about yourself. Then being positive becomes “a trick” in your bag, not real whatsoever.

Being positive is not you but you do it because it has a function. With repetition it becomes a function of your personality, a gimmick, a hook for people. But deep down inside you know that you are not. You are cheating. You haven’t build character; you have built personality functions that make you functional.

The Real You

Personality functions sub the real you. They push him down. They don’t let him out. In fact you can get so deep into personality functions that you will lose your real self forever. You don’t know who you are anymore. You become this mesh of personality functions that make you functional but not happy. Because you cannot be happy at the expense of the real you. The real you is sad because he cannot come out and play.

Real Self Vs. Social Self


Social self kicks in social situations. It is a like a bunch of personality functions you use to interact with people and get approval. It rarely represents who we really are. The social self is not interested in anything but approval. So it builds a persona that he knows people will approve of and in the process butchers, pushes down, and bullies the real self into submission. Ever met somebody that is name dropping all the time and talking about exclusive destinations he has travelled to ski or kill a fucking manatee? A guy like that has identified that society approves tacitly of wealthy people as worthy ones. So he uses this as a tool. Sadly enough it repels most people.

The Real Self

I stopped getting laid when I switched gears. I would go out and just be myself around girls but it would not get me attraction. For somebody used to getting laid almost on a weekly basis with new girls it was hard to accept that who I really was didn’t get me any pussy. I struggled for a while...and for a while.

May be the real self is not the way to go or so I thought while I walk the streets of Barcelona with Jeffy at night and approached anything with a pulse on a Tuesday night, a dead night by the way. This happened while Jlaix and me dropped routines altogether and dedicated ourselves to try to pull girls home with nothing but sheer enthusiasm at a time when routines and canned game ruled.

We hit upon a couple of things like self amusement. I remember doing the “super star” dance because it amused us. We would do some really fucking weird dancing moves -jeffy copied from a crazy guy in London- and teach them to girls. Then we would teach this to a couple of girls and then lots of people in the club would join us in the weird dance. It blew my mind to see this. All of a sudden we hit gold without meaning too.

There were other useful discoveries on the way to being natural like physical game, dance floor game, etc...But it was all experimentation; we never aimed for it as “game”. It was more like what we wanted to do at a certain point, etc.

Can I Say What I Want To Say?

Of course you can. There is one condition: you must not look for approval or outcome. If you do it becomes a personality function, not character. I am after character in the game. Personality functions not only are damaging to the real self but they are short term band aids on a bleeding wound that requires surgery. If you are serious about changing your life then don’t go for the quick fix that would make you miserable down the road. Sacrifice the instant gratification of personality functions for long term transformation. Uncover the real self and let it roam free. You cannot fake real growth, you must pay the price.

I usually ask for bold statements to guys: tell me something about you that would get you the least approval from a girl: “I ate my own buggarts growing up and I still do”...I want you to say that to a girl and shut up. Let her fill in the blanks. Let them judge you. Don’t judge yourself. Quiet your inner critic which is yelling in your head “don’t do that” “that’s so wrong on so many levels”.

Your inner critic is your social self. It maintains the status quo: prevents you from doing things it deems “dangerous “and it steers you towards things that make you “acceptable” to others. It is never happy with anything other than approval. But in this deal you will always be short changed. Your real self is the price you will be paying.



In the end you can’t fight truth. Conning, manipulation and hiding your true self are all personality functions, not character. True character is measured by how comfortable you are being yourself around people. Comfort means not paying attention to approval.

Fake It To Make It


I always had issues with this philosophy. It is still very popular and wide spread. My question is “how long can you fake something you are not?” Your true self will push through at some point. May be in other disciplines that philosophy pays but I have found it to be extremely counterproductive long term in this game. Why not become what you are meant to be in the first place? Draw energy from your true purpose in life. Start looking inside. No need to run around faking it.
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Comments

#1

horizon

Junior Member

Join Date: 05/18/2008 | Posts: 26

Great read Ozzie.  I was dating this girl for about 3 months  Initially it was all about sex but then she wanted more with me.  But, through the time that I met her I was always looking for approval from her.  if I talked to a girl she would get pissed.  If I went to the gym instead of see her, she would get pissed.  II ended things with her and I have never felt freer. 
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#2
eCstatic

eCstatic

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 139

Awesome post Ozzie. I'm still at the stage where its hard to allow myself to say or do funny/dumb stuff with confidence, but I'm aiming towards that inner self-esteem!
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#3
murfster

murfster

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Join Date: 07/11/2008 | Posts: 377

Hrm....Often it is difficult to discern which is the real Vs. social self.
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#4
EnVee

EnVee

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Join Date: 01/15/2009 | Posts: 277

Man I love your articles. Always fresh ideas.
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#5

subx

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/18/2008 | Posts: 1248

so how do you work on becoming your REAL SELF?
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#6

hasan

Member

Join Date: 06/11/2007 | Posts: 30

nice stuff ... but isnt it almost compulsery to fake it till u make it.....i mean chodes cant start being themselv es fromthe get go or somehow they will slip into a comfort zone.....?
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#7
gman3

gman3

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/13/2008 | Posts: 250

love the article, but at the end the whole fake it till you make it thing.. yeah i agree it is not the best way, because it feels incongruent. You say just become what you are meant to be, that is the goal, but how do u get there??
when im trying to freely express myself, it still feels uncomfortable in certain situations, so in a way it feels like im "faking it" but the more i get out of my comfort zone and act through my own intentions the more natural my new reality comes. My thoughts are still not clear on that.. but i think in a way u gotta "Fake it till u make it" untill you get more reference experiences.
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#8

elemeno

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Join Date: 03/04/2009 | Posts: 317

I always end up with weird chicks, now I know why
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#9
Jack Hammer

Jack Hammer

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/30/2008 | Posts: 646

This is when pick up is a function of your personality, not who you are. It is simple. For example, you discover that when you are positive, people tend to give you more approval and you feel better about yourself. Then being positive becomes “a trick” in your bag, not real whatsoever.

Being positive is not you but you do it because it has a function. With repetition it becomes a function of your personality, a gimmick, a hook for people. But deep down inside you know that you are not. You are cheating. You haven’t build character; you have built personality functions that make you functional.


question here... what if you're just being positive becasue you know it brings good results... ?

you're saying anything you do for results is bad.. if you're going to do something like trying to be more positive.. it should be becasue you're trying to do it for yourself and not the results it could bring?
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#10
The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353

Awesome,

Quick question: Why was there a gap in results when you went from using routines and personality functions, to being honest and your true self? 

A matter of becoming congruent of being your true self or something else..?
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#11

gogl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 469

thanks for that great article
it cleared a lot of thoughts I had since Bootcamp!
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#12

Charles Ou

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Join Date: 04/03/2008 | Posts: 585

Damn I like ozzie posts :)
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#13
The Rev

The Rev

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/04/2008 | Posts: 179

great article man.

good shit in here, your a pretty good writer whens ur book commin out
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#14
noble

noble

Member

Join Date: 11/20/2006 | Posts: 94

While reading this, I felt a deep sense of love, comfort, and relief inside. This is amazing. Thank you.
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#15

Buddy Rich

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/16/2008 | Posts: 248

My 'real self' is not gonna get on with the general public very well...
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#16

MAGICNIMBUS

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/21/2009 | Posts: 27

 " Ever met somebody that is name dropping all the time and talking about exclusive destinations he has travelled to ski or kill a fucking manatee? A guy like that has identified that society approves tacitly of wealthy people as worthy ones. So he uses this as a tool. Sadly enough it repels most people."
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#17

Shazam!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/01/2008 | Posts: 1295

Lovin' this article... it's something I've been dealing with for the longest time, but I'm kinda starting to get a grasp of my 'real self', and hopefully meditation and continued self expression continue to help this.
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#18

underworld

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/12/2008 | Posts: 6

i gotta say.  i hate on all the a**-kissers on here, but this is my favorite post by ozzie.  so simple and boils it all down to the basics.... 
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#19

Danny O

Member

Join Date: 09/09/2007 | Posts: 36

Masterful
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#20
Bobby K

Bobby K

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Join Date: 11/26/2008 | Posts: 255

amazing and very daunting.
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#21
tycho!

tycho!

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/07/2008 | Posts: 463

 That's pretty fantastic. I was talking a girl this afternoon, and telling about a recent relationship that I was in, that I had to invest in, in order to feel attracted. And she's like, "Oh, so...like, fake until you make it." and inwardly, I flinched. Inside my head, somewhere i'm like, "NO THATS FAKE" but couldn't put my finger on it, so you did. So thank you!
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#22
fishbulb

fishbulb

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/27/2007 | Posts: 405

I can't tell whether "self amusement" is a technique or being my true self.

I do shit just for my own amusement but also because I know I'll get good reactions from people I'd want to know (technique?), and because it's fun (true self?).

It's like a safety mechanism in social situations... when in doubt do something amusing.
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#23
Angle

Angle

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/08/2009 | Posts: 145

Great article, that is exactly what I needed.

Thanks.
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#24
ReallityFactory

ReallityFactory

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/16/2008 | Posts: 240

BooooK! It needs to be done, Ozzy is the man.
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#25
JamesBond

JamesBond

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/17/2008 | Posts: 444

pure gold ozzie..rsd is gonna make me a film maker bigger than steven spilberg and woody alen with in 10 years..guaranteed
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#26

fuckTheCommunity

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/16/2009 | Posts: 4

I think this post is poor and unhelpful.

What if the real self
is not what attracts what we got into this for? There is a lot of
'sad but true' about and this has to be faced. This is almost completely
the customer base for all seduction  businesses.

I think
falseness is better to get some results initially. To experience the
thrill of macking a girl from a club, requires a lot of false crap from
you - falseness period. How do you describe what Jeffy calls
"overselling the shit out of something" re. extracting? Is that the
real self?

Your concept of a set of personality functions sounds
very descriptive - like the impression I get of most people involved in
the commercial community, both before The Game and after it.
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#27
sub5tance

sub5tance

Member

Join Date: 02/05/2009 | Posts: 95

This post is actually one of the deepest I have read on so many levels I can't even start to enumerate. but key is the somewhat philosophical question of: Are you Stuck With Who You Are? Or can you change your personality (fake it til you make it)

I'd like to think the latter - that, through behaviour, you can change who you are at a deeper level, rather than doing the best with what you got. Its that hope that gives me motivation and enthusiasm for life. the act of creation and imagination - applied to defining who I am and who I want to be
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#28
Slojodan

Slojodan

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

I am getting wayyyyy too many weird chicks lately so this is exactly what i needed to read in the moment.

Thanks a lot Ozzie.  Get your f'n product out!

--Dan
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#29

Chaos84

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/15/2008 | Posts: 253

Exactly! Great article, thanks. 
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#30

HowBoutNo

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/02/2007 | Posts: 484

Not easy to implement... but the only way to go. Truth always wins in the end. You cannot deny what is.
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#31

BiggieSmalls

Member

Join Date: 09/03/2007 | Posts: 40

Beautiful - sums up so many things I was trying to before. You can take that lesson for "positivity" and apply it to any attractive qualities we try and teach and learn: dominance, assertiveness, etc. Then again, it's a beautiful learning cycle and when you start to know in your soul when you're taking on a personality function vs. congruently expressing yourself. It's a very non-linear game; the big lesson for me from the article and from my game these days: developing attractive personality traits and good habits for myself, not for the sake of "being attractive to girls." 
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#32
fpales

fpales

Member

Join Date: 03/25/2008 | Posts: 43

I love this article because I think it clearly delineates calibrated versus natural game.

Personally, I believe I am actually 80% me / 20% calibration and it's working out fine.
Three months ago I used to be 100% and that would only work with the most "fulfilled" women. I would hit up state continuously and enjoyed tremendously, but I lacked women though.

However, I realized that with a little bit of calibration I could offer lots of value as well to others, and that would help as well to fit myself into other people realities.

Moreover, I am beginning to get the results after several months of just having myself. I realise now how much valuable have been these experiences. Because now I do not depend emotionally on any other person (or much, much less) and I am free to enjoy myself or give as much value as I want.

Ozzie, I love your articles and admire your "transformation"... :)

Enjoy,

Javi Garcia (Spanish mate living in Barcelona)
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#33

Nephilim

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/13/2009 | Posts: 101

Ozzie's articles are my favorite because they always tie back to the "you are not your game'" theme, but he also gives practical steps like tell her something that the inner critic is screaming not to say and DONT fill in the vacuum and dont even care about saving face. 

I do think techniques and frame control do have a place in even the most 'in tune' core confidence guy, though. Honestly, I just love the look on a beautiful girl's face when she gets a mild neg; the technique isn't done because I want to manipulate her through a routine, it's done because I just enjoy using certain techniques (like grabbing her hand and thumb wrestling as a way to gain rapport/kino, but also just because I want to). So the techniques are congruent with the real me, and are thus not techniques. 
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#34

zine

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2007 | Posts: 122

my roomate really needs to read this.  A few of his girls have ripped apart my room and they don't even know me.
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#35

berlinrsd

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/29/2009 | Posts: 734

i am eating
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