Ozzie's Blog

The other day I was doing one of my classic drills on BC where zero self talk is required and I happened to be doing it with yet another brilliant guy. For some reason he was incapable of doing it. We went back and forth but he couldn’t... I kept at it, encouraging, pushing, trying to relax him and he started doing it right towards the end. He seemed to shut the self talk off for a while.

Self talk
You will find yourself at your peak when you are able to shut the mental chatter off. Smart people have trouble with that. They are in the habit of intellectualizing everything. They seem to weigh the pros and cons of every decision before they do something. This, no doubt, is a killer of game. It will make you hesitant.

The best players have a quality of zero self talk that makes them extremely effective in the field. In the field, little or no self talk is required. Self talk is actually bad for you. You will notice you climb huge positive peaks when your self talk is at the lowest.

It is literally impossible to feel good and be happy and have any kind of self talk. Self talk tends to be reduced as we focus and get in a flow. Actually the word “flow” is very much related to not having any mental cobwebs. Just “flowing” like a river would.

Analysis and stalling, another name for AA?

It is when you can’t make any forward progress because you bog yourself down in useless details, pondering, weighing the odds...as opposed to getting on with it. Sound familiar?

While it is perfectly natural to want to spend time pondering about a plan, especially one with elements of risk involved, there comes a point where any more thinking goes against its accomplishment and you need to start making some real progress.

Planning is good. Failure to plan is planning to fail. But too much can be as destructive as not enough.
It is pretty common in this community to have a guy reading material for a year and a half or sometimes 3 or 4 years without doing a single approach. The guy knows everything there is to know about pick up but fails to execute in the field. In his mind he has to be ready first. By ready he means, I got to have all the angles covered, all the openers, all the possible situations as he devours pages and pages of pick up related stuff. He plays the game in his mind over and over.

Then he comes to BC and it is a shocker that he doesn’t need 90 percent of all that knowledge to approach a girl. The game is simple.

I remember in executive training in my old job, there was this pamphlet being passed around about Collin Powell, the guy in charge of the US Military campaign in the Middle East,’s management style in which he claimed he would make decisions with as little as 40 percent of the information. Most managers in my old company frowned at that. Needless to say my old company was known for long 4 hour meetings that would yield no clear decisions. They couldn’t understand that more information doesn’t necessarily equal better decisions.

Some good pointers to break procrastination are the following:
1. Agree on a point in time to get something done...and get it done or die trying. Don’t allow yourself to float into the nothingness of no dates.

2. Get reckless. Yes, act like a lunatic for a while. Go kamikaze for a while. If you are the typical procrastinator, this will show you the power of actions over ideas.

3. Make up your damn mind! Yes, shit or get out of the pot. Start small: what cloth to wear tonight for the club?

4. Gain momentum....does 3 or 4 approaches on your way to the club. Don’t wait for the situation to be perfect.


I like this list of excuses I found on a web page. These are real excuses parents gave for their children not to go to school. Some have gross spelling mistakes in them. Enjoy.

“Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her

“Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30, 31, 32, and also 33.”

“Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip”

“John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face”

“Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part”

Smart people, because they are brilliant, can produce extremely compelling arguments NOT to do something. They are hand downs the best excusers in the world-from “I am not good looking enough” to “she is not hot enough for me”... If you let them, they can argue their way into sitting by the bar and getting drunk without approaching a single girl in the whole night. They love to give arguments, pros and cons of such and such method of pickup, etc.

Bad for pickup.

That’s why most of the best guys that I know are either dumb or have a knack of minimizing self talk or reducing it to zero as soon as they get into a club. That’s the quality that I am after when I teach bcs. All my drills, tactics and strategies to teach aim at eliminating self talk.

You could say “what about positive self talk?” Very clever. Smart point I tell you. You will notice when you are in the “flow”, that self talk is all gone. You seem to be in the present moment, not in the past, not in the future. And yes, you will be positive without trying.
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Junior Member

Join Date: 12/12/2009 | Posts: 5

Self-talk can be a debilitating behavior. It can seriously mess with the outcomes of any approach on any particular night. I've noticed that my best times out are when I don't care about anything, I'm just there to have a good time. Once I get into my head though, I begin to hesitate before I act and everything falls apart. Stay away from negative chatter and don't make excuses. Like Nike says 'just do it' and you'll notice a big change when conversing with women. Good read. Thanks!
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Junior Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 2

Great article oz i definitely need to start minimizing small talk thumbs up
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Junior Member

Join Date: 05/12/2011 | Posts: 22

Amazing article.
My biggest problem is that I "intellectualize" everything. Always weighing the pros and cons. I have to remember to just not give a damn and go for it, cause that's what helps the most sometimes.
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/07/2011 | Posts: 457

true, when I m successful to lead girls into fucking quick, I m flowing. It s happening. period. no self talk. 
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