Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 

Rocket science



Pickup is not rocket science. “You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball’’. Simple game of
baseball. However, you can enact any number of theories that have nothing to do with baseball. I once
read a book called ‘’The Inner Game of Baseball’’ written by a successful pitcher in MLB. However, when
it comes down to execution the more you have in your head the worst it is. ‘’ I can’t think and hit at the
same time’’, quote from an unknown player.

Pickup is not baseball

However pickup is simple in the same way or at least how I understand human interactions. “See a girl
you like, approach girl.”

Why do people complicate pickup more than it really needs to be? The outcome.

Most guys would like to control the outcome of an interaction, which throws everything out of
its ‘’natural’’ rocket. They want to play God. How can I always get what I want out of an interaction?

It sounds a bit like, ‘’How can I always get what I want out of life?’’.

The problem with life in this case is that you always get more than what you expected. Always. And
always you are sorely disappointed with it. It fails to provide that high you expected. When you say, I
wish I could open the hottest girl in the club and at least survive 20 minutes of conversation with her
and get physical. When you do get it, you feel like nothing really happened. It was easier than you
thought! It always is. Why? Your own head creates the difficulties.

Same thing when you get laid with girls. Most guys say: ‘’It was effortless. One thing led to another. It
was easy’’. However, was it really easy? Or may be you were overqualified for the job after all hard work
you have been doing in the field. Do things happen or you make them happen? This is not Tony Robbins
type of cheap psychobubble bullshit. This is real.

You make things happen. However, things don’t happen for you in your own time and terms. Why?
The universe’s randomness comes into play. You can’t predict when and where results will happen. It
doesn’t mean Pickup is a numbers game. “The more you do, the more you get” kind of deal. Absolutely
not true. I have seen guys go out for two years and get zero lays. If it was a numbers game, you wouldn’t need a mindset, a philosophy of approaching and a game plan. Anybody could do it. I spent 1 year in field doing it “my way’’ because I thought it was a number’s game. The more you do the better you get. I got nothing in a year. However, after my first bootcamp, I had my longest lay streak of my life. That’s not numbers. I was doing things differently after my program. Sometimes just a slight change can bring about amazing results. You might say that I am a Pick up coach and I have to say that to sell programs.

Fair enough. However, you might want to think about the fact that I was a newbie when I took my first
program and I was just another normal guy in field trying to get laid. No bullshit there. You want to
consider the fact also that my story in the game is actually very ordinary. It is more or less the same
story for many others who are not bootcamp instructors.

Playing God With The Outcome




By focusing on the outcome, you reduce the chances of the outcome ever happening. The moment a
student focuses too much on performance during program the more he brings it down. it is only when
the he drops his obsession with performance that he soars. I am very careful on program with outcome
dependence. I know it kills the outcome. Once a student is too bent on doing a good job, he screws up
and gets frustrated. It is a catch 22.

This is why I have mantras such as “If it is worth doing, it is worth doing it poorly” as in “If you see the
hottest girl in the club surrounded by her entourage, just do it”. Don’t complicate this anymore than it
is. There is learning in failure. Mostly you get rid of your fear of it.

Numbers Game?


Why then some guys are more successful than others? Do they approach more? Do they adapt better to
situations? Are they technically gifted?

Are they doing something different? Yes, they are. However, they still approach a whole bunch of girls
to get their lays. You could say they are playing the numbers game. On the surface perhaps. But deep
down you know it is not true. If it was that easy everybody would be getting laid. No need for a pickup
education. No need to spend your hard earned money on PU.

I don’t remember how much I paid for my first program. Probably too little.

Numbers Game Gone Wrong


Here is an example. Students leaves set too early and he thinks something is wrong with his game. He
keeps doing the same throughout the night and finds himself with no girl at the end. He concludes, “this
numbers game sucks”. It is elusive to him the fact he has left too early every set. Not only that he has
made a habit out of it.

However, just a little tweak might multiply his chances by 50 percent. A student who leaves a set early
is generally afraid to fail. He is afraid of rejection so he rejects himself before the girls can. As a result,
he deprives himself of both opportunities to learn and of getting laid. Plowing through a bad first
impression, is key in success in pickup. Why? Because you can’t have smooth openings all the time.
Moreover, it is not necessary.

However, you need to learn that many times plowing through a bad first impressions gets you that
elusive hot lay that you want. Fact. However, if you are a perfectionist you won’t stick to a crappy start because you think you have to be smooth all the time. As a result you will end up with distorted
conclusions about your game.

You Are On Your Own

After a certain level however, you are on your own. Nobody can help you but yourself. On my second
program, way more expensive than my first one-6 months after my first program-, I only picked up a
couple of things but they had the most impact in my game. As an advanced guy who was getting laid
already, I had to really open my mind to my instructor and lose myself in the process of learning. I was
a beginner all over again during the program. It worked for me. I picked up a couple of things and went
home and got laid back to back Friday and Saturday. Then continued getting laid until I hit a wall or dry
streak. Dry streaks happen no matter what you do. Only human.

However, does that mean my bootcamp was not valuable because I was advanced? The answer is no. Even though I picked up a couple of things only. However, those 2 things went a long way. It was totally my next level. As you get better, it is harder to move forward. Normally you need input to move forward from qualified people otherwise you are stuck in a rut for years. As you move up it becomes harder to improve for obvious reasons. For example, take ATP tennis, to move from number 5 in the world to number 1 in the ATP tour, it takes years. Check out the case of the current Tennis ATP number 1 guy. It took him a couple of years to be in a position to beat Nadal, the former number one. As a result, he now beats everybody else. His leap was a quantum leap. However, it was just a couple of numbers in the list. The same happened to Nadal vs Federer back in the day of 3 years ago (pun intended).

Fear Technology is no fun




I have had plenty of guys telling me that fear tech is not fun at all. They suffer the 3 days of my program. I wouldn’t be doing my job if it was otherwise. If you want fun, go to the circus. Growth hurts. In my opinion if you don’t hurt in the game you are not growing as you should. You are shrinking. However, once you have no fear, pickup can become fun. However, getting rid of your major fears is painful. They have been with you for too long. You don’t want to let go of them. Some of your dreads have become your excuse not to grow and stay as you are. Pain doesn’t mean you are not growing. It often means the opposite. Welcome the pain.

{QUICK PROMO FOR MY HAVANA BC 16-18 DECEMBER. COME ON PEOPLE…}



Fear technology is a simple solution for complicated people. People want to complicate stuff so they can dig deeper into their own paralysis or non-action. As long as you don’t face your deepest fears around women you don’t have to change. Change is pain…for a while. Then you feel liberated because new avenues open up for you.

Pickup is not entertainment. However, I don’t rule out the idea of having fun with my London Crew Reload when I go out. But it is a different kind of fun. We approach some scary situations, some hot girls and we shake the fears and in the process and we have a laugh. But this is a side effect but not a goal in/and of itself. I enjoy this process but I don’t really care whether it becomes fun or not. Not my goal. I don’t think I am a fun guy nor an entertainer. I don’t need to be to get the job done. Actually trying to be something that I am not is the problem, not the solution.
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Comments

#1

Obisco

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Join Date: 08/26/2010 | Posts: 735

Nevermind.
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#2

LoveHandle*

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Join Date: 03/24/2008 | Posts: 940

 wow good article
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#3
LethalLex

LethalLex

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Join Date: 11/20/2010 | Posts: 1093

Reading this after a very average night out. Reckon I got a couple of indights out of it... Definitely going to reread. Thanks man.
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#4
GaryUranga

GaryUranga

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Join Date: 02/21/2008 | Posts: 554

You took your first bootcamp as a newbie. 6 months later you took your 2nd bootcamp as an advanced guy, took you 6 months to get advanced?
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#5
Voss

Voss

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/23/2011 | Posts: 9

 I saw part of Ozzy's BootCamp over the world summit and he's the man, he definetly does/apply's  what he preaches . . Good Stuff! 
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#6
freshbit

freshbit

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2009 | Posts: 180

 Yeah, after BC with Jeff I had the clear sense of having "arrived". Lay streaks or dry streaks aside, I doubt I could have "gotten it" without actually taking bootcamp.
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#7
Pumba

Pumba

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Join Date: 05/20/2009 | Posts: 440

Ozzie your articles are so effective and so on point, not too flashy, I like them, I really do.

Cheers
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#8
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

If I ever take a bootcamp I'd consider going to europe to take one with you. Your ideas about game resonate with me the most.

This stuff doesn't have to be so complicated.
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#9

Watermel

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/10/2010 | Posts: 219

You should measure the worthyness of your programs by the progress of your students.
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#10
Goran~

Goran~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/11/2009 | Posts: 1238

GaryUranga wrote:
You took your first bootcamp as a newbie. 6 months later you took your 2nd bootcamp as an advanced guy, took you 6 months to get advanced?

And thats why he was hired as an instructor...

Back in the day the awesome guys didnt pussyfoot and complain that it was hard and  that they have approach angsiety, they pretty much went out every night, not even a 30 day challenge but like a 365 day challenge.
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#11

gogl~

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Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 469

did this come with your age, that your goal is not primarily to have fun?

Because it pretty much comes first for me, because the fun times are always the times were im unstiffled and therefore feel freedom, which is probably my best emotion. That motivates me. Nothing else like a fun night.
Especially when you come from a "you only live once"-mindset.

Or does this,too, become "superficial value" once you grew further? Or did I get your point wrong?
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#12
Kaladyn

Kaladyn

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Join Date: 02/12/2010 | Posts: 663

  badass post ozzie. money spot.

 
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#13
Kaladyn

Kaladyn

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Join Date: 02/12/2010 | Posts: 663

gogl~ wrote:
did this come with your age, that your goal is not primarily to have fun?

Because it pretty much comes first for me, because the fun times are always the times were im unstiffled and therefore feel freedom, which is probably my best emotion. That motivates me. Nothing else like a fun night.
Especially when you come from a "you only live once"-mindset.

Or does this,too, become "superficial value" once you grew further? Or did I get your point wrong?

he has fun just like a kid playing in the sandbox. the kid doesnt idealize "what motivates me to get in the sandbox, i only live once so i should play in this sandbox hard as fuck right?"

you dont see the kid trying to unstifle, he is free. 
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#14

tgbrfv

Member

Join Date: 08/17/2010 | Posts: 34

Great article.
I find Ozzie's articles the most motivational pieces on RSD Nation! Always enjoy reading them.
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#15
timmilicious

timmilicious

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/12/2009 | Posts: 271

awesome article Ozzie,
your stuff is the best and helps me a lot, as your bootcamp did. Keep it up!!! :)
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#16
jRad

jRad

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/23/2009 | Posts: 476

Kaladyn wrote:

gogl~ wrote:
did this come with your age, that your goal is not primarily to have fun?

Because it pretty much comes first for me, because the fun times are always the times were im unstiffled and therefore feel freedom, which is probably my best emotion. That motivates me. Nothing else like a fun night.
Especially when you come from a "you only live once"-mindset.

Or does this,too, become "superficial value" once you grew further? Or did I get your point wrong?

he has fun just like a kid playing in the sandbox. the kid doesnt idealize "what motivates me to get in the sandbox, i only live once so i should play in this sandbox hard as fuck right?"

you dont see the kid trying to unstifle, he is free. 
wow, that really hit home for me.

thanks kaladyn.
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#17
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

jRad wrote:

Kaladyn wrote:

gogl~ wrote:
did this come with your age, that your goal is not primarily to have fun?

Because it pretty much comes first for me, because the fun times are always the times were im unstiffled and therefore feel freedom, which is probably my best emotion. That motivates me. Nothing else like a fun night.
Especially when you come from a "you only live once"-mindset.

Or does this,too, become "superficial value" once you grew further? Or did I get your point wrong?

he has fun just like a kid playing in the sandbox. the kid doesnt idealize "what motivates me to get in the sandbox, i only live once so i should play in this sandbox hard as fuck right?"

you dont see the kid trying to unstifle, he is free. 
wow, that really hit home for me.

thanks kaladyn.
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#18
Ozzie

Ozzie

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

jRad wrote:

Kaladyn wrote:

gogl~ wrote:
did this come with your age, that your goal is not primarily to have fun?

Because it pretty much comes first for me, because the fun times are always the times were im unstiffled and therefore feel freedom, which is probably my best emotion. That motivates me. Nothing else like a fun night.
Especially when you come from a "you only live once"-mindset.

Or does this,too, become "superficial value" once you grew further? Or did I get your point wrong?

he has fun just like a kid playing in the sandbox. the kid doesnt idealize "what motivates me to get in the sandbox, i only live once so i should play in this sandbox hard as fuck right?"

you dont see the kid trying to unstifle, he is free. 
wow, that really hit home for me.

thanks kaladyn.

Like it too.
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#19
Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 590

I don't see the Federer-Nadal pun?
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#20

Ocean2

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Join Date: 07/18/2011 | Posts: 698

 Thanks, I have the bad habit to leave a set too early alot. Now I know why, because of the perfectionist mindset. Going to work on it!
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#21
Ozzie

Ozzie

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Michael111 wrote:
 Thanks, I have the bad habit to leave a set too early alot. Now I know why, because of the perfectionist mindset. Going to work on it!

the idea being if it doesn't happen quickly it won't.happen at all.
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#22

theuprising

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2010 | Posts: 392

 Pickup is no fun? Why the FUCK are you doing it then? Social expectations?

Dude, you're picking up chicks because it is MORE fun than choding out with your friends. Imo doing it like this will work but why don't you just transcend to another mindset... why would you put yourself through such pain, this isn't like getting good at tennis or something, its being true to yourself.
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#23
scottsdale

scottsdale

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/23/2007 | Posts: 1558

This is a really powerful post!! Thanks Ozzie.

And coming from a hardcore perfectionist I can say that some of these ideas instantly motiveated me.
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#24

Chode_no_longer

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/15/2011 | Posts: 220

I didn´t quite get the point of this article.

The article is basically telling me to not  desire to control the outcome and not leave a set early?
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#25
Kaladyn

Kaladyn

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/12/2010 | Posts: 663

 went out and applied this exactly last night :: great night! the security at the door told me i was going in & out too much... but i always had a different girl with me so they were like "awhhh ok, go ahead!"
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#26
Kaladyn

Kaladyn

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Join Date: 02/12/2010 | Posts: 663

Chode_no_longer wrote:
I didn´t quite get the point of this article.

The article is basically telling me to not  desire to control the outcome and not leave a set early?

i think its saying to stop analyzing.

why would you leave a set early? - because you think you need to.
so instead of saying "am i in the set long enough, or too long" - stop thinking about it and just have fun hitting on the girl.

its kind of like when you are sitting with your friends or family, and they stop talking to you for a second - you don't think "oh shit they stopped talking to me, i should leave"  , instead... you probably just chill and jump back 
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#27
Ozzie

Ozzie

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

theuprising wrote:
 Pickup is no fun? Why the FUCK are you doing it then? Social expectations?

Dude, you're picking up chicks because it is MORE fun than choding out with your friends. Imo doing it like this will work but why donfer't you just transcend to another mindset... why would you put yourself through such pain, this isn't like getting good at tennis or something, its being true to yourself.

Fear technology is not for everyone.
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#28
gruenfeld

gruenfeld

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 1283

ozzie's coolest article yet.

I now hail him The GRAY KNIGHT
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#29
billy ray cyrus

billy ray cyrus

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/01/2011 | Posts: 20

 i like reading these articles, they remind you of the simple things you often forget...

fear is a sign to challenge yourself. respect the process. to become a master, you must work the grind. you can only control yourself... etc. etc.

fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals.

thanks ozzie.
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#30

Ocean2

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/18/2011 | Posts: 698

Plowing alot more now, I already notice the benefits. Thanks again!
Ozzie wrote:

Michael111 wrote:
 Thanks, I have the bad habit to leave a set too early alot. Now I know why, because of the perfectionist mindset. Going to work on it!

the idea being if it doesn't happen quickly it won't.happen at all.
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#31
Kuz

Kuz

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

 Don'e PLOW. Sit back and let it happen at a different pace.

Great article btw.
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#32
flux

flux

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/24/2009 | Posts: 556

I've been focused on having fun more as a goal, but of course I'm sure it's a perfectionists version of 'having fun', which I suspect comes from a different place to a naturally social guys version of 'having fun'.

I also have a habit of remembering the times I pulled girls when in state doing the fun stuff, and forget about the times I did nothing special, just persisted. But like you say, focusing on performance just holds you back. The focus needs to be on the action (approaching, plowing, getting physical etc), that'll keep the perfecionist in me happy because I can see I'm acheiving, so I can then relax and actually start to have fun without trying to chase and demand it perfectionist style. Focusing on the basic defult actions is something that can obviously be repeated again and again and again without a requirement to get certain results, either from a girl or in how I feel.

So do you think perfectionists will always approach this stuff differently to guys that are just naturals? Is trying to stop being such a perfectionist and develop attitudes similar to a natural the wrong way to go about it?
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#33
Adil

Adil

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/29/2010 | Posts: 305

Now everybody will go stay long in the set even if it's going BAD :)

IMO, there are two ways it usually goes.

1) It won't go anywhere if you are trying to keep the girls in the conversation because you care. That being the case you will rationalise that you don't reject yourself (as Ozzie pointed out) and stay in the uncomfortable set and then surprise-surprise eventually the girl blows you off. You will feel awkward and start questioning what went wrong even though Ozzie told you to plow. Answer: you cared about what the girl thinks of you and you still focused on performance, i.e. staying in the set longer.

It's still good to stay in when you care because with more practice "caring" will go away. It won't go away though if you are unaware of your weak points and continue doing the same mistakes over and over again.

2) Overcoming bad first impression is key in my growth. It's about sticking to and projecting outward my narcissistic frame, my reality. You come to girls to try to reject you and you subcommunicating (don't brag - it's lame) that it's impossible because you are so fucken awesome and charming. With this mindset hitting hard sets becomes fun, you really start to not give a fuck, you are glad to see and welcome shit tests, and most importantly you don't reject yourself. This works.
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#34

alvferna

Member

Join Date: 07/26/2011 | Posts: 30

Very cool article!
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