Here is my schedule for the first quarter of 2012, Europe. I will be hitting some big European Cities with Nick’s Hot Seat. Check it out. I haven’t travelled in Europe in years because I decided to make London my home base and build the UK market. I already did. So, time to spread the love. All my Bootcamps now feature Fear Technology as taught in London for those who have asked me whether I run the same type of program on the road. Yes, I do.

Flat Schedule

February 17-19: Barcelona, Spain

March 15-17: Amsterdam, Netherlands (Thursday-Saturday; Nick doing hotseat)

March 22-24: Munich, Germany (Thursday-Saturday; Nick doing hotseat)

April 19-21: London (Thursday-Saturday; Nick doing hotseat)

April 26-28: Copenhagen, Denmark (Thursday-Saturday; Nick doing hotseat)



In our capacity to get what we want, we get sidetracked from the real deals of life.

Bogey Man And Other Myths

We grow up fearing the bogey man that’s gonna take us away from mom and dad. We grow up fearing it. We find evidence that the bogey man is true, that we are not safe. For example, we walk into our new school and we find that this is going to be harder than our last school. Unless we put up a show we will not survive it. We need to step up our game, so we can get through secondary school, same with high school..all the way to today’s job. Then your boss becomes the bogey man. We are not safe, we must put up a show in front of him. We need to step up our game.

Fear Is The Fuel For Survival

In nature, we find plenty of fear. I go jogging every morning on weekdays in a park adjacent to where I live. I see squirrels gathering food every god damn morning. They are programmed by nature to gather for the winter. As soon as they see me coming the run for their lives up the trees. You would think they would have learned by now that I am harmless, that I am not a predator. But fear is an instinct, deeply buried in their minds, to keep them alive.



Instinct Gone Awry

We live in the safest society known to man. You are unlikely to die even from a heart attack. Chances are you will die from old age. Still you feel like the squirrel. Fear drives you for survival. You are not afraid of predators but you are afraid of the boss, the bad economy, getting fired, being rejected and disliked. None of them are survival threats yet we make them into survival threats. Just like the squirrel s make me into a survival threat but that squirrel is likely to die from old age. They live in a park without real dangers or predators, except the dumb fox who is too fat from dumpster food to even run after a squirrel. We are all safe. However, we are all scared for survival just like the squirrel. I am like the squirrel when it comes to paying my rent, bank account charges, monthly expenses and so on. I get all worked up by it. It is survival to me.

Common Sense As Ignorance

We always take the position that common sense is better than science. Not in human relations. Common sense is often ignorance as it applies to our game. It is done to avoid the real issues. It is done in an effort to bypass troublesome emotions that surface when a guy tries to approach hot women or a groups of attractive people with the purpose of snatching a girl. However, you might want to think about the fact that common sense dictated, before Columbus, that the world was not round but an even parking lot!

Emotions and common sense don’t match. Just because emotions don’t make sense, it doesn’t mean they are irrelevant in PU. We don’t pretend mountains aren’t there because you never saw when and how they formed. You should treat your emotions with respect like the mountains because they define you in field. (I will talk about a concept I call “grounding” later on)

Lame Attempts To Bypass Uncomfortable Emotions

Common sense tells you that people or women will be attracted to fun because you see that on tv all the time or fun people entertain others and they get attention. So there you go and become a fun guy even though you are not and never been. You can’t pretend the mountains are not there because you ignore them. Mountains are still there and so are your emotions. People will read between the lines and see you are not fun at all, you are just pretending to be fun.

Furthermore, because of movies and what not, people get the idea that a woman will be attracted to “alpha male qualities” as seen in motion pictures like leadership, assholeness and what not. So there you go and become an “alpha male” just like in the movies. Again, the mountains are still there, you are just trying to bypass them and not look at them. Ignoring the mountains doesn’t make them go away. If you don’t feel worthy of women, a quick paint job will not change that fact. Also you must remember that movies are just movies, not real life. Some common sense for you.

However, this is common sense at work. It is appealing because it makes sense. You adopt certain desirable characteristics or fake them (it doesn’t really matter how) and you will become desirable. Common sense, right? Any variation of asshole “game” is based on the fact that any attention is better than no attention. So if you get them mad or dismissive, you have done your work. It kind of reminds me of pulling the pigtails of girls in primary school: you get them to pay attention somehow. But how far does it take you into leading a woman to bed?

The truth is that you cannot “adopt” these characteristics at will, at least not for the long haul. Furthermore it is not necessary. Then again, a bunch of women are attracted to those “alpha” traits but others are not. You end up at the same place where you started. You got the same chance that if you didn’t approach with such alpha vibes.

(I really don’t know how to finish this article. Doing the best I can here. Anyway let’s try some solutions and see if it works as a wrap. Sorry I went too long on the alpha shit. It always irritates me. Rehashed stuff.)

Try the Road Less Travelled



Humility is key in this process

You must accept that some girls might not like you for who you are. You need to be ok with others giving you negative evaluations. however, on the flip side, there will be another bunch of girls who will be psyched to know more about you for congruence breeds immediate trust. Some people will trust you implicitly without question once they see you are real person not a phony.

But the biggest pay off is that you will feel right inside. you will realize that you are likable as you are without adornments and that people don’t care that much in the first place for a superficial paint job. You will grow confident and congruent, both attraction generating qualities women fall for.

However this won’t come easy. It needs a lot of rehearsal or exposure to your worst fears.