Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
 
Comments are welcome.
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I will be next:
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
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Common Thought Loops In Pickup 
"it won't work"
"I will suck"
"it will be weird so I rather not do it"
"Can't do it because I don't have the skills/pickup line/right mental state right now"

I deal with this stuff every weekend. I coach guys through this and rarely the work done at the weekend is enough. They go home with a lot of homework to do.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz6a24NfpKA
 
Picking up girls live in field will amplify whatever character flaw you have to stratospheric levels. If you are a thinking negative type you will become doom and gloom. If you think you are awkward in social situations, now in pickup you become "weird". If you behave like a victim, always whining to friends and colleagues, in pickup you will become a drama queen.

In other words everything gets blown out of proportion because there is fear and rejection involved. It is like they say in sales, "not everybody can be a good salesman" because not every can handle rejection on a daily/hourly basis. I was in sales a long time ago and the best salesmen were guys who didn't care about the customers at all, in other words they had a very simple approach, "just make the sale". Everything else was meaningless to them.

Pickup is not sales. But you have to be able to handle fear of rejection. To achieve that you have to act sometimes like you don't care even if you do care. Everything else is a waste of time. The best way that I have found to teach this is to expose my students to the possibility of rejection and ask them to push through failure. Simple enough, but complicated to implement.

Circular Thinking And Fear Of Rejection

I don't know who said that if think the problem is a nail, everything becomes a hammer. Or something. For a person scared of rejection anything becomes a sign they are being pushed away. For example, if she is laughing at your jokes you think she is just being polite. If she shrugs her shoulders it means she is bored. If she talks to her friends for a couple of minutes, it means she doesn't want to talk to you. Everything is a hammer.

Circular thinking is a lot like that proverbial hammer. Things "have to" go a certain away every time. The same thought pattern or "rigid" way of thinking interferes with positive action taking. I was watching that movie "the secret life of Walter mitty" and it was interesting to see the main character going into the same fantasies over and over, kind  of in a loop. So he would look at a girl and always think that he was inadequate and not attractive enough to talk to her.

So he would make a up a more appealing sexual man in his own head and create a fantasy around him, who would attract the girl sexually. At the end of the movie he finds out he is that man anyway. That he doesn't need the fantasy anymore. With loopy thinking you find out the same thing, you don't need to be amazing to approach a girl, that you won't suck as much as you think. Probably the truth is somewhere in the middle. You are not so amazing but you are not so bad either. Walter Mitty finds that reality by taking action. So will you if you decide to challenge loopy thinking.

You need action because action clarifies. On the one hand you find out you don't suck as much as you think, and on the other if you did suck it is never as bad as you imagined. That applies not only to approaching but also to escalation and closing the deal with women. You find that guys get trapped in the loop, "yeah, I can approach but then nothing happens". Action clarifies here too.
I tell my students in the day time approaching to invite girls for coffee all the time and collect "no's" for a while. So their job is to fail at it for a while. Once they lose their fear of failure, they start disappearing for a couple of hours with girls on "instant dates". In other words, they have disarmed the power of loopy thinking through clarifying action. It is funny how now they expect every girl to say "yes" to the invite. Total transformation happens.
Comments are welcome.
 -------------------------
I will be next:
January 3-5, 2014: London, United Kingdom
January 10-12, 2014: Helsinki, Finland
February 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
February 21-23, 2014: Barcelona, Spain
February 28-March 2, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 7-9, 2014: Oslo, Norway
March 14-16, 2014: London, United Kingdom
March 21-23, 2014: Amsterdam, Netherlands
March 28-30, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 4-6, 2014: London, United Kingdom
April 25-27, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 2-4, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 16-18, 2014: Stockholm, Sweden
May 23-25, 2014: London, United Kingdom
May 30-June 1, 2014: Copenhagen, Denmark
June 6-8, 2014: London, United Kingdom
June 13-15, 2014: Munich, Germany

www.rsdbootcamp.com
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Comments

#1

jonjonwhii

Member

Join Date: 02/28/2011 | Posts: 58

My nigga Ozzie, this video is dope as fuck. Much better format then the ones before. This one was very clear (not saying the other ones weren't; they're great also) and concise and the reading material was great. Keep up the good work mang. 
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#2
Pual

Pual

Member

Join Date: 04/20/2011 | Posts: 68

Thanks Ozzie for being honest! I think its great to know that everybody gets into these Patterns, and that its no big deal. Its just time to rest.

Honestly, I think work or sports also help with circular thinking, exept if you are so run down that it makes things worse. Either way I think its a signal that tells me to take action, whether that be rest, work, or simply taking a shower.

Peace!
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#3

Wingcommander

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/05/2012 | Posts: 9

High five Ozzie! Very helpful as always. Funny how I find I have to take control of my brain and snap out of those thought loops or ask my brain to come up with a solution and put it to rest and the answer comes out of nowhere when I'm doing something completely unrelated. But all the thinking in the world can't beat action and practice to create good habits in the field. Looking forward to your next vid! Happy New Year!
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#4

PussyNPoker

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/17/2012 | Posts: 19

Great stuff as usual
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#5

nondual

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/24/2013 | Posts: 274

"we always think that thinking is a good thing"
Nice one!
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#6
Anthony John

Anthony John

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/20/2011 | Posts: 149

Nice vlog me like.
Funny how you mention not knowing what to say when you record a video and once you just start going through the motions you get shit done.
That kind of goes with everything.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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#7
Ryan The Only God

Ryan The Only God

Member

Join Date: 08/05/2013 | Posts: 30

Ozzie's game is so underrated
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#8
Euphoric

Euphoric

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/08/2011 | Posts: 134

I could not agree more with what's being said in this video.  In my opinion, the best way to solve bullshit thoughts is to take action.  One thing that changed my psyche drastically is from reading Nathaniel Branden's book, The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem.  He says in that book that self-esteem is something that is a by product of taking massive action and also a cause of taking massive action.  So, if you don't have sufficient self esteem right now, you know that you need to take more action, which will then create more self esteem, which will then create more action and so on.  It's all about taking action though.  Once you decide what you want, taking action towards it creates massive self esteem and massive entitlement when talking to girls.  You begin to not give a fuck about the girl anymore because you know that you're competent and that you've cultivated the internal resources to get it again.
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#9
kapz

kapz

Alex Hot Seat Member | Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2007 | Posts: 796

Great video Ozzie. Thank You
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#10

IHeartCats

Member

Join Date: 09/28/2013 | Posts: 71

Another great video. Love the analogy of how everything is a hammer. Definitely the story of my life right now
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#11

jackiemach

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/31/2013 | Posts: 1

I never think about failer and I always do my work with my honesty.
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#12

Astore

Member

Join Date: 12/16/2012 | Posts: 33

Obsessive thoughts most of the time are related to a shameful or fearful situation, and once the thoughts get into your mind it's quite difficult to get rid of them. Social anxiety is the typical one, obsessing ourselves about embarassing situations, and as Ozzie says taking action can be the solution. Also is very interesting how the more you think how to solve a problem, a little solution you will get, probably if any solution comes up, will be in a moment of relaxation or in a wake up morning after a good night sleep. So many times this happened to me. Out of frustation taking action can get massive results, if you feel stuck with a problem, aerobic exercise or a meditation session can be very helpful. Thanks Ozzie for the vid and happy new year to everyone!!
 
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#13

DarkHorse222

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/01/2014 | Posts: 6

thanks ozzie
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