Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
(Fair warning: probably my corniest article to date. Meaning I don’t expect you to relate much to what I say here. But hey, it is free. Enjoy!)

It all started small. People would compliment me and I would feel awkward and tense. At first I didn’t pay much attention. Then it grew up and it became almost a default reaction to compliments. It was simple. I couldn’t take compliments. I was perpetually discontent with who I was. Actually compliments brought up the worst in me. “Am I worth it? Is that really me? I know I suck sometimes”, so went my selftalk.

Girl Mirror

If it was my girlfriend who gave me the compliment, it was not valid because I was banging her. If it was a student it was not serious because the student was on a BC high and just super excited. If it was my company, they are just doing their jobs, it cannot be real.

I Dunno

Bottom Line

I didn’t like myself no matter what I did. Discontent was permanent. It all came down to lower self esteem- I needed to do something, achieve something, win something, be the best at whatever. Horse crap. And the joy of achievement is short lived. It is so fleeting it barely lasts longer than 20 minutes. I might as well get high on alcohol. It is the same shit. I got tired of chasing futile dreams that won’t bring long lasting joy.

Fear Of Non Achievement And Paralysis


Well without achievement what am I? A big nothing. Undependable, untrustworthy, a big none. How can I reconcile my need for achievement with the need to truly feel lasting joy?

The Myth Of Permanence



Actually deep down I believed that positive things could be permanent. It was a big head fuck. I thought that I could be good all the time, do right all the time, feel good all the time, etc...And that in itself is misery.

Nothing is permanent. It is against nature. With achievement I was just trying to perpetuate good feelings. But it is the nature of feelings to not stay with you, no matter what. You can not feel truly miserable more than 20 minutes. Try and time yourself. Same applies to jolly feelings.

I was not after real achievement. I was after good feelings. I was after a mirage.

Hey, I Am A Good Guy

It all came down to admitting I am a good person and that I have something to offer to the world. Something unique. My contribution. However small it was mine. Good guys do that. I need to admit that even though I might screw up big here and there I am still good. Nothing is wasted. Even one hour in the tube, where the train stops for no reason, it is a good hour. I don’t have to do anything in particular.

Pick Up And Permanence


Most guys want to extend their good performance to all their actions in the field. This in turn sabotages them. Why? Their state is defined by whether they succeed or fail in the approach. Their state goes up and down because good/bad performances in a club scenario largely depend on a variety of factors not under your control.

Try To Fuck Up



Pay attention to where Kasparov says that in every successful game there were a number of mistakes.

I send the students all the time into “failed missions”-chances of succeeding are none. I want them to get resilient at making mistakes. It turns guys on to feel they can fail and nothing happens. They always come back to me and say “It went well”. What? It means they are ok with making mistakes. Their state is not affected by failure no more. Performance doesn’t define who they are. They go on to achieve things for real without the strain of “having to be perfect every time”

What Is Your Contribution To The World However Small?

What is that you offer that it is unique to you and you give to the world without effort. No matter how small you can bring something which is usually under your awareness level. “Hey, I can touch my nose with my tongue”. Open like that. “This morning I made a fantastic bowl of oatmeal, then I put some raisins in it and I made the perfect breakfast”. Open like that.

Don’t care about the consequences. Let the chips fall where they may.
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Comments

#1
Orange

Orange

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/31/2009 | Posts: 123

So basically you're saying that instead of being "ah... i messed up, i'm not good enough", you should already know you are good enough. 'Failure' isn't that big a drama.

The Kasparov video was interesting.
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#2

JAS760

Member

Join Date: 08/03/2009 | Posts: 41

Thank you for this, i loved it...
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#3
nestea

nestea

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

great article as always.

If it was my girlfriend who gave me the compliment, it was not valid because I was banging her. If it was a student it was not serious because the student was on a BC high and just super excited. If it was my company, they are just doing their jobs, it cannot be real.


^ i do the same facking thing!
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#4

Kage83

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/06/2009 | Posts: 5

So instead of saying "You win or you learn", you can basically say. You always learn and because of that you always win, no matter the results...
Good stuff.
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#5
Captain Dynamo

Captain Dynamo

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2008 | Posts: 4

Naaahhh.... it weren't too bad after all.

i was expecting full cheez delux, but the article read pretty well...

when it comes down to it, sometimes ya gotta let go of your ego, let go of your ambitions and just live in the joy of the moment... now that's cheeze... but that's what pickup it to me yo

Peace,

Ak
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#6
Daniel

Daniel

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/10/2008 | Posts: 1943

This is sick
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#7
Captain Dynamo

Captain Dynamo

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2008 | Posts: 4

dude you're sick
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#8
Raeven~

Raeven~

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 126

Ozzie,

Most people can actually relate to those feelings. If not, how can they disconnect from them? I picked up pretty fast on your "Let the challange dictate your state" philosophy and it makes absolute sense. I open with the silliest things trying to fail, wanting to fail. But I hardly do :).

Everybody got a story, but remember

Without the sour you would not know how to apreciate the sweet. Without rain, would you be happy for sunshine? 
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#9
Arnaut

Arnaut

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/09/2009 | Posts: 236

 I love the direction that you're taking this stuff.
Can't wait for your book. Respect.
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#10

Bzzza7

Member

Join Date: 02/21/2010 | Posts: 89

Thanks a lot for this article, Ozzie!

This is SOOOOOOO me!
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#11

The Boss

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/16/2009 | Posts: 823

dude ozzie, your articles make me jizz my pants....

fucking amazing work everytime man i love it
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#12

tzinaski

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/08/2009 | Posts: 16

thnx alot Ozzie, nearly burst into tears while reading this. This is so me
 
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#13
yahtzee

yahtzee

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/30/2009 | Posts: 20

 you're the man Oz, reminded me of Jordan.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." 
-Michael Jordan
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#14

JohnyLove~

Member

Join Date: 07/01/2008 | Posts: 32

I like how you brought up the myth of permanence; noone can walk around all the time with a huge smile on their face. It would look insane and at best suspicious. Allways a relief to be yourself without putting internal pressure on your state. Thank you for this.
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#15
Rick Grimes

Rick Grimes

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/14/2009 | Posts: 914

"let the chips fall were they may"
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#16
Abower

Abower

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/26/2007 | Posts: 1762

Thanks for the update! Very interesting read
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#17
Egowaffles

Egowaffles

Member

Join Date: 01/23/2010 | Posts: 84

This article applies to 99% of my life, and it just pulled me out of one the shittest days of my life. Im printing it off... Ozzie, your a fucking bad ass and I love you
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#18
Occam

Occam

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/17/2008 | Posts: 753

I never really related all that well to Ozzie's previous articles.  Obviously they had some value, but didn't really ring my bell. I always figured it was a language barrier or something. 


Nope.

Best Ozzie article ever.  Quality.

You have my attention now.  I am tuned in.
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#19

gogl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 469

thx, nice read.
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#20
Getupa

Getupa

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

" Meaning I don’t expect you to relate much to what I say here. But hey, it is free. Enjoy!"

^^

This is a mistake you made. 
Thanks dude.
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#21
rufio

rufio

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/30/2009 | Posts: 134

“Hey, I can touch my nose with my tongue”. Open like that. “This morning I made a fantastic bowl of oatmeal, then I put some raisins in it and I made the perfect breakfast”. Open like that.

Don’t care about the consequences. Let the chips fall where they may.

 this is how my game is starting looksmile
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#22
Smooth Ken

Smooth Ken

Member

Join Date: 05/31/2008 | Posts: 54

To think it used to be just about picking up women. Hah.
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#23

Marcoo

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/20/2009 | Posts: 26

+1
Egowaffles wrote:
This article applies to 99% of my life, and it just pulled me out of one the shittest days of my life. Im printing it off... Ozzie, your a fucking bad ass and I love you
Besides that, Ozzie, you made me look at the bigger picture about outcome dependency. NOW I deeply understand it. THANKS A LOT. That's pure value.
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#24
ozymandias

ozymandias

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2009 | Posts: 33

this article is as valuable as your other stuff, maybe even more
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#25

elemeno

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2009 | Posts: 317

love it. thankyou.
this is one of my favorite articles and one of the ones i relate the most actually. 
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#26
TOOBAD

TOOBAD

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/31/2006 | Posts: 1242

Thanks for the article - like always - quality! ;)
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#27
Zebra

Zebra

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/01/2007 | Posts: 274

 This was a good read. Anyone trying to grow or better themself can relate to this.
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#28
Nathan!

Nathan!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

I can easily relate.

When we're talking honestly from the core, I think everyone does in some form or another.

And if we all do, then what do we have to fear?  It's our own self inflicted filter to the world. Fear rears it's head again.

Thanks Oz
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#29
stephenc

stephenc

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/15/2009 | Posts: 99

This was great.  Thank you for posting this... 
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#30
Full.Metal.0_0

Full.Metal.0_0

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/09/2009 | Posts: 319

Interesting read for sure.
It reinforces one of my dogmas that you are your own worst enemy and best friend.
In pick up, it's not the girl telling you not to approach or to close.
Its YOU.
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#31
ArcticWolf

ArcticWolf

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/06/2009 | Posts: 99

My contribution is..I'm a bad guy, in a certain perspective. Don't be like me, I see mostly bad things in others and my mind is FUCKED. Don't put your penis in ant holes..dirt or anything that reminds you of it-Marilyn Manson. Don't drink-- I don't..be the BEST YOU CAN BE. Work-out,  jog, follow rsd, and learn new things. This may seem stupid but that is what I have to say.
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#32
ArcticWolf

ArcticWolf

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/06/2009 | Posts: 99

Let me tell you a bit about animals, they feel inferior to other beings, unlike domestic animals so to speak. They are stuck in hunting mode.. foxes and wolfs will only go after you if you frame it that way, don't run..just leave "it" alone, and it will more likely not bother you. Then there are more dangerous animals such as polar bears and lions they will go after you, so I guess if you find yourself in a situation with one of "these" then run away or something.
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#33
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

i wrote this 1year and half ago as i moved in with my girlfriend. i hesitated to post it because it was too personal. today, lots of bootcamps later, after severe family losses, a book written and moved out of my girlfriend's appartment i still deal with those issues. the only difference is that i know what's happening. slow is fast. 
 
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#34
ozymandias

ozymandias

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2009 | Posts: 33

i don't get "slow is fast"
can somebody explain it to me.
thx
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#35
Neurooo

Neurooo

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/15/2010 | Posts: 15

Good ozzie,
I like your writting, it s very accessible, simple, clear.
point a to point b.

It s actually took me a long time to communicate like that.
Point a to point b communication works well with women .
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#36

Artemiz

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/12/2010 | Posts: 106

Interesting. Thank you.
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#37

kcarte22

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/12/2009 | Posts: 5

I liked this article. It puts into perspective that we need to be content with ourselves. No more dwelling on past mistakes or underachievements. Strive for perfection in whatever it is that you are pursuing. Be content with life. Feed positive thoughts and remove immobilizing behaviors. Good read. Thanks!
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#38

HowBoutNo

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/02/2007 | Posts: 484

I've thought back to your phrase of "'with humans, slow is fast" many times. I'm not sure if our interpretations are the same however. I've given it the meaning that while most people have things in their head going really fast, they have things in actual life going fairly slow (lot of stress about nothing (e.g. talking to girls)). While it should be slow in the mind, while fast in the actual world (calmness while taking heaps of action (e.g. effortless effort)). 

As far as I know, haveing feelings of inadequacy will never leave a human as long as there is a sense of self. To have an ego, means to measure, to measure means to win sometimes and to fail others. By going out and failing, you can turn failing into winning, but then that that winning (by failing) will simply become a new measure (this si what happened to me anyway). Failure always finds a way to effect you and this will never stop until the duality of failure and winning is wholely desolved and a state of equanimity towards all things is developed. You (Ozzie) are farther along this path then you probably realize. Sorry for taking up a teaching vibe yet again :(
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#39
The Duck ✘

The Duck ✘

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/02/2006 | Posts: 1353

Ozzie wrote:
i wrote this 1year and half ago as i moved in with my girlfriend. i hesitated to post it because it was too personal. today, lots of bootcamps later, after severe family losses, a book written and moved out of my girlfriend's appartment i still deal with those issues. the only difference is that i know what's happening. slow is fast. 
 
Thanks for sharing Ozzie.

Appreciate it.
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#40
_FOX_

_FOX_

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/26/2007 | Posts: 26

I like your post, it is related how the good feeling should originated and expressed from the deep authentic self. GOOD post.
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