Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
The western mind is geared to forward progress, forward change. Our culture is obsessed with forward motion. We want to go from point A to point B in the least amount of time...and all the way there we are asking ourselves “are we there yet?” “Where are we?” “How long do we have?”

Trained Dummies



All our culture is based on the idea that progress is linear. It is not even questioned. You invest a certain amount of time and effort and you get from one end of the pool to the other end of the pool. With more time and more effort and more training you can reduce –in a linear fashion- the time you do this to a swimming world record.

Wrong.

Linear Progress as an Illusion

Tank

It doesn’t take much to find out that this model for change is flawed. If change was linear we could change everything very easily. We just had to invest time, effort and money and voala. Change is done. We can move to the next thing.

On further examination linear progress is just a construct of our minds to somehow give a logical explanation of reality. But as we all know, reality is far from logical. If it was, we could all be millionaires tomorrow by investing in the “best” company in the stock market. Following a linear pattern, the company with the best fundamentals will steadily increase its stock value exponentially and will make us rich in time down the line. If that was true everybody will be rich. If everybody is rich what’s the point of having a stock exchange anyway?

Cycles of Change

Butterfly

Change operates in cycles just like nature does. Nature is cyclical and so are we. We cannot expect personal change and skill progress to be any different. It is against nature. It is not real.

Skills and personal changes go thru cyclical patterns. There are moments of spurts of progress and there are moments of sudden darkness, where nothing seems to be working.

It is not uncommon for me to receive emails from advanced guys in the game who are stuck at some point in their development where nothing seems to be working. They also complain that “forward progress” has stopped.

Well, forward progress is just an illusion to begin with. It is how we explain things but it is not the real thing. Forward progress is just how we make sense out of reality. However, this illusion of straight-onwards change is at the very foundation of most guy’s inner game. It is only a matter time before this illusion bites them in the ass.

Even economic experts, trained in logic, talk all the time about economic cycles. They always talk about riding the wave of economic changes and let the economy do the work for you.

Airplanes Never Fly On Route

May be this is a example to understand change. An airplane never sticks to its original course. It is always out of course but always gets to its destination. I think the same applies when we set goals for ourselves. We are most of the time blown off course, sometimes taking by-ways or secondary routes until we get back on track. However, without a goal we have no direction. We would be lost.

The Newbie’s Linear Progress

One of the things that feeds this myth of linear progress is how a newbie progresses in the game. The newbie that starts from scratch marches forward in an apparent linear manner. They go from not being able to approach to engaging girls and at times making out with them in the first night of BC. Their levels of excitement propels them to incredible results. Nothing can touch them. In their mind they are moving forward at 200 mph.

And in a sense they are right. At the beginning skills develop real quick but then the challenge of consistency starts to rear its ugly head. They find out pretty soon that producing those kinds of results on a regular basis take some lengthy repetition and practice.

However, guys get used to thinking that progress is linear and they are only going to get better in an increasingly linear fashion.

Needless to say, as they go out consistently they realize that change is not linear and it sometimes goes back and gets worse before it gets better. And that to get good at anything they have to plough thru rough periods or times where they are not getting what they expected-namely linear progress.

Negotiating Change

I teach guys that you have to become a master at negotiating change. We all have an inner resistance to change. We have to negotiate it every time.

A big part of negotiating change is understanding change. By knowing that change is not linear, we can welcome going backwards a little bit. We can adapt better to periods where nothing seems to be happening in our game. We can expect those moments and not obsess over them and keep doing our jobs like nothing happened.

We can adopt the mantra for hard times: “I don’t know where I am going but it is ok”. Sooner or later I will hit my stride if I don’t fuck with my head too much. It is all part of becoming a master of change.

I can think of Christopher Columbus in the middle of the ocean leading his expedition into the unknown and thinking “I don’t know where the fuck I am but I will keep going”. If Columbus believed in forward progress he would have quit his efforts to discover the new world long before he even started. It took him a long time and many backwards cycles-namely fund raising- to get his expedition off the ground.
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Comments

#1
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

I cant wait for my BC on the 31st.... awesome stuff Ozzie.
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#2

pringles

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 998

real talk
nice ozzie
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#3
ceoarob

ceoarob

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/20/2008 | Posts: 1293

 How do we achieve an end result without becoming attached to the outcome?
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#4
Full.Metal.0_0

Full.Metal.0_0

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/09/2009 | Posts: 319

Weather your motivated or not, your goal is still the same: progress.  I know what you mean by saying when its more challanging you are going to grow more; thats true for anything.  But approaching girls in state or not should eventually lead to the same result.  It sounds like your saying motivation and state are synonymous.  I believe state and progress are a byproduct of being intrinsicly motivated.
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#5
CarlosCollato

CarlosCollato

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/24/2009 | Posts: 6

TheBravo wrote:

...One of the pitfalls I fell into in the past was approaching when I was motivated, but stopping approaching once I got it right. I'd know exactly how to give a girl the eye and make her attracted in a second, know how to pick her up, but I'd be like "oh, it's indifferent, who cares if I go pick her up or go home and masturbate". I'd be in my head at the start of the night, and approach, but then I'd lose all willingness and just stop.

So guys, never make the same mistake I did. It's actually when you're not motivated to do something that you're gonna get good at it. Because motivation is like an external shell that is just made for you to gain momentum and modifiy your inner core. But most guys change their external shell and when it's time for the core, they just stop.
Man, you hit right in the spot!

This server for anything you're doing: Gym, work, projects, plans, special training or whatever...

Congratulations for the valuable comment!
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#6

DerDomi®

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/01/2008 | Posts: 195

Good stuff, Ozzie. A lot of wisdom there, especially the mantra is really solid. Thanks
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#7
TheBear

TheBear

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/29/2008 | Posts: 354

Ozzie,

This is a really important article. The cyclical nature of game is one of those epiphanies I had some time ago and I think the stock market is a great example for guys to understand this concept. Just because the market is bad, doesn't mean you stop investing in your 401K. You may have to change where you put your money, but investments continue. Knowing that you have to keep approaching, even when you're not doing well is sooooo fucking important. Just having faith that things will turn around so long as you're taking right action is huge. I think the reason why so many guys quit is because they feel like pleatuea  or downtime = Its not working anymore. Little do they know they're on the cusp of something big. The bad times I've had in the game have ALWAYS resulted in subsequent good times. Those down times are sometimes required for the important changes to occure.
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#8

Nephilim

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/13/2009 | Posts: 101

"Self-improvement is masturbation."
I don't agree - but the idea of formulaically making progress, like smoothly 'leveling up' as if this game was a MMO, is fantasy.

I've been getting decent results with girls in my college and nearby clubs, and so logically, I shouldn't have pussied out yesterday at the Starbucks when this bookish Hb was typing away on her laptop. Keep plugging away, don't beat myself up...

It's frustrating and painful to make progress and question if you actually have made progress, but you can't knock the hustle.
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#9

ninja08

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/21/2008 | Posts: 607

Yo this has to be one of the best posts I've read here. Or ather, the most versatile. I love this, thanks ozzie.
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#10
Adam+

Adam+

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/23/2008 | Posts: 103

great article thanks man.
i think the desire for linear progress is linked to our lust for certainty or predictability  of the future.......just a thought....
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#11
Mathias!

Mathias!

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Good analogy. Here's anotherone.

In some phases of "the process" your "worst level" is improving while your "best level" is standing still or even regressing - refusing to get better until the "worst level" has cought up and been integrated as stable.

This is progress. But most guys don't see that because they stare themselves blind at their "best level", because the tendency to always identify with your best self and your most favorable reference experiences.

Thus you should view both your "worst level" and your "best level" as evolving and improving, often independently. The more you view your progress by longer periods, as in by the month and not by the night, the easier this becomes.

And yes, it is cyclical. For me it has been most apparant by the fact that the same concepts reoccur over and over again in your development, but you see them from different perspectives. As you grow and everything "deepens", the same concepts do too and you get back to them again and again, each time with a slightly different meaning that teaches you new things about yourself and how you behave socially.

Good post. thx
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#12

aurelius

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 281

Great article. Very true. Gives a different perspective of progress, which is very vital.
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#13

Chocked!

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/03/2008 | Posts: 279

I like your post. The more I work at this the more I realize it aint always pretty :) A great deal of the time I find myself pushing through fear of humiliation, and expanding my comfort zone...

Recently I've experienced large setbacks. Honestly the worst was after boot camp. I felt as though I was not even at the point I had been before I attended. However, I continued with what Nathan told me and with time things became dramatically better! Then moved to a new city and skills became dramatically worse (to the point of finding myself crying out front of the bar)!  Now after a couple months in my new city things are MUCH better than even before I moved.  It just seems to go back and forth like you speak of and the more I push myself the more extreme the swing seem to be.  I think reaching your goals is more so about accepting this process you speak of, acknowledging the set backs, and continually taking action.

Thanks for the post!
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#14

zine

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2007 | Posts: 122

honest and insightful.. great post.
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#15
Whorelord~

Whorelord~

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/03/2009 | Posts: 772

I don't know where the fuck I am but I will keep on going. teeth
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#16
Timbo Slice

Timbo Slice

Member

Join Date: 03/18/2009 | Posts: 46

Consistency, plowing through rough times, and sometimes it is gonna get worse before it gets better.. get used to it, think long term.. lots of value here,  I love your realness Ozzie
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#17
leeroybrown

leeroybrown

Member

Join Date: 09/22/2006 | Posts: 45

             You pick a bad Taco shack today .But ,no big deal you'll pick another one tomorrow and if that one suk's? then qit? No!  You like taco's!  You will find a good Taco shack! and it will go out of buisiness.....Fuuuuuuuuuuk!.........Then a whole new journey begins.
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#18

One1

Member

Join Date: 04/07/2009 | Posts: 83

Ozzie is my favourite instructor for sure.
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#19

zine

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2007 | Posts: 122

.amazing read loved every moment of it and learned alot as usual.
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#20
Solstice

Solstice

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 289

Can completely relate to this. The last few weeks I haven't even gone out, but I'm back at it again. Ups and downs are part of life. Great article Ozzie.
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#21
YoTeach

YoTeach

Member

Join Date: 08/12/2009 | Posts: 36

wow this is one of my favorite articles by far.

this has been a major problem for me for the last 5 months. I would go back and forth with progress and it would really frustate me.
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#22
Chaq Groove®

Chaq Groove®

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2007 | Posts: 72

Kudos to Batman movie "We fall to learn how to pick ourselves up"thumbs up

I love this, it is how we grow. Compare it to sports, like tricking takes a lot of time to learn even the basics,
honing technique while also gaining strenght and speed.
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