Ozzie's Blog

Ozzie
 
Only Help When Help Is Needed




I have seen students struggle on program and my first instinct is to help them. But I don’t. I sometimes give them more pain by making them do even worst things out of their comfort zone. At times it seems cruel. But I don’t feel guilty. It is not like I am physically beating them down. I am beating down their ego!

Let’s say a guy is struggling opening moving sets and he is going blank when he starts conversations. I make him put his shirt front side back, inside out. All of a sudden he is more worried about the ridiculous shirt than about performing well in in his verbal exchanges. As a result he stops worrying about “what to say next” and starts to panic about his looks. Then voilà, sets start to open without him trying. By the time I ask him to put his shirt back on in the right way, he has moved past his “sticking point” of “running out of things to say” in the beginning of the interactions. Another example: a student can’t approach on the dance floor because he is terrified of opening a tough looking guy making out with a hot girl. My reaction is, “Ok. You don’t want to do this, and I understand because you are afraid. I am willing to take 50 pushups in lieu of not approaching.” He drops on the floor of the dance floor and starts pumping. People start fucking with him. Guys kick him, girls ride him like a pony, and other guys laugh. As a result when he stands up from the dance floor after 50 hard pushups, everybody around wants to talk to him including a bunch of girls who want to know why he was doing pushups in the first place. He starts to realize the futility of his fears around people. Next time, I ask him to approach he will approach.

Ego Struggle vs. Success

Ego works like a cocoon that is meant to be broken for the beautiful butterfly to come out. However, I must never interfere with the process of struggling with the cocoon. I must facilitate it only, not help. In nature, the butterfly needs the struggle with the cocoon to get strong. As a general rule, it is best to help when help is truly needed. If I help, I will only be helping the old behaviors to keep cycling like fear and avoidance. In nature, if you attempt to help the butterfly out of the cocoon it may die. So does the ego destruction process. Student’s growth might be destroyed by help. He must negotiate his growth on program. He must become his own hero. He must move past instructor dependence in three days. That process cannot be tampered with. He must struggle on program so his muscles get strong. Since I discovered that, I turned my Boot camps into “struggle” camps.



I facilitate the process, but I don’t make it easy for them. I make it harder! I want really strong muscles to fly. (I know you think this metaphor is gay and so do I. But I am going somewhere with this. Do read on.)

Cloaked Hero


I stopped playing savior to students on program a long time ago. It was not helping my students. Why? As soon as they left program and their savior was not there, they reverted back to old patterns. Sometimes quickly, other times slowly. To curve this, I had to take a hard look at myself and find out where I was “saving” and where I was “helping” for real. It turned out that 90 percent of my program was about “saving”. My entire program was like a big rescue mission. Every inch of the way I was making it easier for my students to navigate the program. I took them to cheesy clubs where they would meet “party girls” from out of town and they could get laid easier. I would send them into sets that were not so challenging. I would always open the first set and sometimes brought them into my set/sets and they will pull off my sets. I would design seminar sessions with tons of video and slides so my students didn’t have to find out for themselves what physical game looked like. And so on and so forth. It was a shitty program. I was holding their hand the entire time. It was “summer camp” as opposed to “beast camp” like Jeffy likes to call it. I love the term “beast camp”. It implies you will be pushed out of your comfort zone.



The light bulb went off when I saw papa after delivering barely 1 hour of Free Tour, sending the students to an infield mission right away without preparation, analysis or video. He just sent them in field without any supervision. I thought it didn’t make sense but students came back all excited, some of them have had some successes even with little or no information or teaching. I thought it was brilliant. Let the field do the teaching, the coach is just a facilitator, time to let go of the old pick up coach’s ego.

Fight Fire with Fire




For my program to move forward, I needed to move myself out of my comfort zone and device something more challenging for my students. In that process I had to challenge myself too. I had to become a better coach since my students were going to face bigger obstacles than the ones they were facing. It worked. I had to find harder venues, design drills, create an inner game system around it and so on and so forth. It was worth it. It was very imperfect but it was progress. I started to be happier with the results after a while. It took years for me to start to be happy with my program but I kept my motto of “progress over perfection” alive and it worked. I remember nights of approaching in Barcelona during my three-month-long instructor training where Jeffy and I adopted the philosophy of “one more set”. That was it. It summarized our “pulling” game. Just one more set and we will be closer to our goal. I went back years and re adopted my instructor training philosophy and applied it to my program. Sometimes the answers are there at your fingertips.

I have no clever way of finishing this article and I am way over the word count. So, yeah. Take what you like leave the rest.

I am out.
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Comments

#1

isostar

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/20/2010 | Posts: 6

 first yeaah 
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#2
SocialGuy

SocialGuy

Member

Join Date: 12/30/2009 | Posts: 92

 Awsawm stuff !
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#3
traavy

traavy

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/27/2011 | Posts: 6

 Hey man, that was an awesome thread :D
A++
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#4
Laaavish

Laaavish

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/30/2007 | Posts: 306

Ozzie

Your message is, in essence, the exact same with every damn article you write.......and I love it. Repetition is the mother of skill.

The tougher/more impossible something seems, the more limiting beliefs you when you take on the challenge. It builds beastliness for sure.

For so long I simply COULD NOT go out while I was baked (often). Pot makes you get all 'in your head' and the high has some level of anxiety to it....but the other night my buddy gave me enough pain to break through. We had just smoked a bowl and he wanted me to come to the bar, but I said "naaah, I don't like going out when I smoke weed", and he basically chewed me out, cause the reason he wanted me to come was to meet a new girl in his life. So his anger gave me the leverage to just say "fuck it" and go out anyway.  He wasn actually helping me by being a dick about it.

Lo and behold, we go to the bar, I was perfectly comfortable after like 5 minutes and the girls are magnetized to me.

The most dire problems are just in our heads.

.
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#5

The jazz

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/13/2009 | Posts: 244

physical game (the holly book of closing ) ... buy it now ! it's awesome:p
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#6

El_Diego

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/29/2009 | Posts: 146

I was on a free tour with Papa on 2008 when he throw us out to the street and told us to approach a number of different types of sets (moving sets, mixed, seated, etc) at that point i was TERRIFIED of showing my real intentions and walking up saying stuff like "you´re cute", i thought that she would have no reason to feel attraction for me after saying direct stuff like that because i thought that i had to do "something special" to make her feel something for me. Aaah yes the old button push stuff.

We went out in couples, i was with a great dude from Argentina who was visibly nervous but nevertheless he was quicker than me when he jumped into a group of people that were coming out from work, he said hello, i rolled in and tryied to back him up making some sense to what we were saying but we bombed. That was it, it was so much fucking FUN.

Then i see a cute girl with an older woman (who obviously looked like her mother) having coffee seated in a table of a coffee shop near by. I had no fucking idea what i was about to say but i started walking and they both were staring at me when i reached the table.. I said to the mother: is this your daughter??, she said yes, i replied: gosh, i had to tell you that you´ve done a great work, we´ll be a great couple, then i looked at the girl and said: I´m Diego... for a second there i froze up, but then they both looked dazzled, i thought to myself "oh, shit this is working!!!"..and got her number and her mother´s blessing :)  and for the rest of that night i jumped at any girl that i found attractive without knowing beforehand what  was i about to say and stating  what i was thinking at the moment and just laying what i wanted to do with them. Later i recognized that as "Intent".

Since then i get reactions like "you´re bold" with giggles or "who are you?" and stuff like that,

so  thanks Papa.

After that i´ve bumped into other sticking points but i´ve managed my way through a reality that everyday is more and more internally validated. I have to thank the rest of RSD for that.

So thanks you guys, and ozzie for making me remember this with your article. Good stuff
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#7
Kuz

Kuz

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

So u don't do bootcamps at infernos anymore?
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#8
Kuz

Kuz

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

So u don't do bootcamps at infernos anymore?
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#9
player1975

player1975

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/27/2011 | Posts: 257

 I like it :)

Your advice is always easy to understand.

Cheers
P
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#10
Roark101

Roark101

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

Inspiring stuff. I'm taking the Sept. 22-24 London boot-camp, my second one with Ozzie. My first was a year-and-a-half ago. I've evolved a LOT since then, and it sounds like Ozzie's boot-camp has, too. I can't wait to see what happens. (And if nothing else, I can use the exercise. Fifty pushups? I can handle that.) 
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#11
Be_Present

Be_Present

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/05/2011 | Posts: 19

Great stuff Ozzie \m/
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#12

Easy

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/02/2011 | Posts: 5

Great great stuff
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#13

tgbrfv

Member

Join Date: 08/17/2010 | Posts: 34

I love the Ozzie articles.
Your bootcamps sounds intense man!
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