Ozzie's Blog

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……………………

 

Addicted to Misery Part II(continued)

 

First I will give you a check list. If you tick more than 3
boxes my might qualify just like me as a mild-to-hard case depending on the
day. You might want to look into solutions. Let’s review, shall we?

1.
I feel threatened when i am in a good mood, too
excited or feeling too successful.

2.
I often say I have goals and huge ambitions but
don’t do what I need to do to get them.

3.     
I feel threatened by changes even when they are
for my own good.

4. 
I don’t like to be around people and isolate
because I feel I don’t fit in or belong.

5.
I often feel like I am not qualified or unfit to
carry out a task.

6.    
I don’t want people to help me and resent them
when they do.

7.
I sometimes let others get away with stuff at
the expense of my well-being. I sacrifice myself so others are happy.

8.
I feel life is unfair and I don’t get the
opportunities others get.

I can go on but this is just a short article. So this is
just a taste of what it looks like to be addicted to bad emotions.


 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_hqgl025OU

 

People in this category keep a perpetual cycle of negative
emotions. You can’t get out because most of your actions are directed at
reinforcing it rather than getting out of it. it is a little bit like the cycle
of fear, you avoid situations you are scared of thus sustaining unconsciously
your dread of them. If you were to expose yourself to those situations the fear
cycle will come to an end. It works paralleled when your cycle relates to
familiar “down” feelings. You keep adding fuel to the fire by the very actions
you are taking.

For example, if you think the world is unfair you will go
out into society and find evidence to support your bleak vision of the world.
You will be in a club and a girl dismisses you, you will conclude that ALL
WOMEN are mean and so on.

Order and chaos enwraps the world but you must look harder.
Things can be as bad as you think. Like I used to read but never believed,
“there is nothing world with the world”. If you look closer you will pickup
your disempowering patterns of behavior and feel strong about changing them.

Patterns, patterns

Why is it so important to identify patterns? Well, first of
all, once you identify a problem you can solve it. if a problem remains
unidentified it might fester forever.

So what are those self damaging patterns that keep you in
this state of misery? Where do they come from? Why do we keep them around?

Those are some of the questions you must ask if you are to
get out of self-induced pain.

If you look at how these patterns work you will find that no
single straw breaks your back but many. You will encounter as you unmask them
one by one that you might be infested with termites. One termite, such a small
insect, can’t do nothing but a whole bunch of them can bring your house down.
negative thoughts operate in a bunch. Sometimes you might have 3 or 4 operating
at once. You don’t stand a chance when that happens. Together they are strong.
If you separate them, they are just weak and you can remove them in a jiffy.

For example, I look at a girl and go, “she won’t like me,
she is too hot, I will look weird if I speak to her.” That’s three negative
thinking patterns all roll into one. Enough for you to paralyze and get your
approach anxiety. Your body is getting ready to “fight or flight” so you don’t
stand a chance. Your anxiety got to you.  I takes away your resources. Most of us don’t
have the capabilities to know when we are handing our power away to others. It
happens without our awareness. That’s why most people go through life in a
haze.

Perfectionism
revisited


You can carry one or two straws with you into the approach.
You don’t need to clear all your negative thinking patterns for your approach
to succeed. Don’t let one or two patterns discourage you. by the end of the
approach, they might have left you anyway. As a matter of fact, some of your
negative thinking patterns might never leave you. they are part of your dna.
Stay with them, they are like birth marks, they become smaller with time.
however, don’t obsessed over being pure positive. We never are 100 percent
anything. And that’s a comforting thought. Because it doesn’t matter what goes
through your head  you still can make the
approach. In fact, there is nothing more rewarding than proving your negative
predictions wrong, even half wrong. You can’t predict the future. Life would be
too boring you knew what would happen. Who wants to live a groundhog day.

You want to know my stinky thought patterns like the palm of
your hand. You want to know yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Ok here we go.

You want to feel miserable because it is all you know.
misery is familiar, the unknown is too threatening. Better to be miserable and
unhappy because you know it all too well. Excited and happy are unfamiliar even
unsettling. So when you feel good, you think somebody is going to steal it away
from you. So you make yourself feel bad on purpose because you feel in control
in misery. Happiness feel out of control. Have you found yourself and then
fucking it all up by “accident”? it happens all too often that guys who are
addicted to misery deny themselves by missing the winning shot. You have seen
this in sports. A footballer manages to dribble his way past the defense only
to miss the winning goal when all he had to do was push it in. Pressure got to
him in the last yard. Losing is the easy way out. Winning takes responsibility.


In pickup, a guy does everything well until he is about to
pull a girl at the end of the night. The girl is ready to go and he is ready to
go. Friends come out of nowhere and scoop the girl away from him. Bad luck. I
don’t think so. That’s why pulling game is different from opening game or flash
game or “look, I made out with 4 girls today game”. Pulling game is real game.
it takes a real winner to pull one night stands consistently. It takes
dedication. You must become a winner at heart. You must figure out all the
angles and proactively work on the long game. Most girls won’t go home with you
unless they feel they can trust you. You can’t con girls into trusting you. short
term you can though. But they eventually will see through you. You must become
truly confident. That’s why back in the day, success was measured by the girls
you pulled week in week out not by the girls you approached or made out with.
Unless you put a whole bunch of lay reports on the board, nobody will respect
your opinion. I remember putting up a couple lay reports on the board and Jlaix
will post a lay and a threesome and steal my thunder. True competition. But
that was the old school, we have come a long way. With the expansion of the
community, things got murky.  But I won’t
complain. In many other ways we are doing better than in the old days. In some
ways, you live to see the dismembering of the old codes. It will take years before
the pendulum swings back to the old.

 Only people who want
to win can focus for long periods of time. When you first start you think it is
all about approaching and getting those kiss closes. To consistently pull you
need to become successful for real. It is the difference between the long con
and the short con. Long con thieves are artists, specialists at their craft.
They work all the angles proactively. I am a huge fan of the franchise Ocean’s
eleven. They are masters of the long con and they work through the nooks and
crannies of a robbery even the disgusting ones but they also dominate the short
con when they need it. they make sure they don’t self sabotage. Back to misery.
If you want to fuck up on purpose because you feel to excited because you won a
battle but lost the war. You really didn’t want to win the war. You want to
perpetuate the general idea that life is bad and you have no chance because it
is all you know. Lucky coincidences happen for guys who want to win. The universe
aligns itself with them. It also works the other way around.


Watch out for the
following patterns


 

. Expecting the worse
pattern: you are totally unfamiliar with what success looks like and so you
expect failure. Expectations are always negative and pessimistic. You live by
“Prepare for the worst” motto. “Most things go wrong”. There is no reason to
expect things to work.

. Captain of the
universe
pattern: most times you feel powerless over events in your life.
As a result you are determined to get as much control as possible. You don’t
want to appear powerless. As a result you isolate and don’t become social. You
can be the king of your little kingdom at home.

. Misery, my friend
and ally
pattern: when you don’t have misery you miss it. you get to feel
uncomfortable when you don’t feel down. You are dependent on it. it is like a
drug. You feel right at home. You feel uncertain when you don’t have it, like
something is missing.

 

Some Quick Solutions

 

1.
Identify
patterns
: understand your misery’s addictive power. Be aware of your
debilitating thought patterns. Miserable thinking is a large part of it. So
whenever your mind is giving you a hard time, spot it  and be aware. You can stop it just by spotting it because eventually you will see that it is not really helping you but sabotaging you.

2.   
No more
video games
: identify the things you do to get out of misery. There is usually
two or three things that you do and substitute them for healthy habits. Instead
of masturbating to porn, go to the gym. Instead of play station, approach one
girl. Tell yourself you won’t play until you approach that girl at the gym. You cansubstitute an old habit for a new one. If you don't do the substitution work and stick by it, you will slide back into the old one eventually. 

3.    
Get out
of isolation
: risk failing. If you don’t take risks to get out of your
comfort zone, you wont succeed. Most guys addicted to misery are really trying
to control their environment. They rarely venture out of comfort zone. Make a
commitment to risk yourself into scary situations. Practice fear technology,
you know, Ozzie’s brainchild. (attempted humor, but seriously)


How To Give her More
Pleasure (Relationship Advice)


Sometimes it is confusing for guys whether you are giving
your partner vaginal or clitoris sex. Some say target the G spot or whatever
that is. Others say focus on the clit. Not good either. Don’t worry about those
two things. Women are all different and worrying too much will bring down your
performance as well as your enjoyment. Remember to give her pleasure in the
sack and she won’t go anywhere. She will be in your pocket. Know your girl.

Some simple rules for double targeting your girl.

1. 
Women enjoy variety. So, don’t be all bent on
thrusting and slip out your shaft and massage her clit once in a while with
your weenie. Don’t be all about pushing and heaving because they get used to it
and then it is not exciting anymore.

2.  Check out positions that cover both clit and
vaginal sex. Like kneeling and riding her right leg while holding the other one
over your shoulder. In this case she would be lying on her side. In this case
you have access to the vaginal as well as you have your hands free to work her
clit.(smart choice and also you get some amazing sensation in your butthole.
Ok, my bad. No gay shit.)

3.    
Another good thing to try is have her stimulate
her clit against your leg while you penetrate. You can do the reverse cow girl
with one knee up instead of having both legs lying down. She will hold that
knee as she straddles you in reverse position. Now all she has to do is rub
herself against your thigh for her clit and also ride your Johnson while you
penetrate her.

Anyway, keep her happy at the bedroom and otherwise and you
will have a puppy for girlfriend.

This is embarrassing to talk about this sex shit but I think
I am doing my best. You guys can feed me back if you don’t like it anyhow.

I am so out of here…have fun, guys.

Comments, criticism, anything, welcome….

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Related Posts

Comments

#1
Kool Kane

Kool Kane

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/03/2010 | Posts: 169

Thirst!
just joking... I'm still running the train;-)

Ozzie motivated me to face my fears and go out alone in the past.
To me going out alone and talking to girls felt like a huge pain in the ass.
But I evolved with time and now I'm addicted to going out all the time. It's almost more fun to hustle new chicks than fucking them. almost...

thnx for being a great motivator.
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#2
Noronha

Noronha

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/27/2010 | Posts: 142

HAHAHAH "I want to be good, but not that good!" 
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#3
jabbaworks321

jabbaworks321

Member

Join Date: 12/03/2011 | Posts: 45

Always feel like Ozzie's vids and articles get to the real heart of the problem. Not that other instructors don't but...Ozzie systematically targets the embarrassing shit, which makes it less embarrassing and isolating, and nonjudgementally breaks it down. Thanks dude.
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#4
Snakeeye

Snakeeye

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/16/2012 | Posts: 1700

i like to find ozzys blog, do some one have a link ?  thanks,
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#5

The Dave

Member

Join Date: 02/12/2013 | Posts: 59

Great advice!
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#6
machine81

machine81

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/17/2012 | Posts: 13

Genius. Some really inspiring points in the video. "10% is how to" "focus on motivation"

When I started this a year ago I pushed myself in a blind sort of way, riding on the faith that I would benefit and be rewarded. That was my motivation and it paid off. But now I sense a slowing down in my game.

I need to review myself, find the motivation, focus on it and "the how to will find its way"

Thanks
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#7
Todd

Todd

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1498

hahaha... LOVED this vid!
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#8
IVIsHero

IVIsHero

Member

Join Date: 06/10/2011 | Posts: 53

awesome
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#9

tigerbalm

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/27/2013 | Posts: 5

Hey Ozzie, i was reading what you were talking about patterns that run through your head before you approach a girl and i can relate to that so much.

After like 4 months of doing this i wasn't aware that i got caught up in negative thinking patterns and i'm so glad i took the time to read this article. When i look back now i realised that every time i approached a girl i would be thinking "Everyone will look at me and think i'm a weirdo" & "Her friends are there, they're gonna think i'm weird".

Thanks again!
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#10
MakeItHappen

MakeItHappen

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/25/2011 | Posts: 529

ozzie i really like your raw style of delivery. your standards for the CONTENT of your posts seem to be extremely high and while there are many people who appreaciate style of delivery, flashy editing etc. there are also many clients who are more focused on the pure content. They come here not to be entertained but rather to learn valuable lessons that will help them improve their lifes.

also i really appreciate the relationship advice! anyway, since you're diving into the more weird sexual topics, i think you could expand into realms outside of relationships, and give advice on how to escalate from makeout to fuck after you brought your date home or after you pulled a girl home the same night etc..... that would be really valuable
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#11
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

thanks. you sub habits basically, bad ones for good ones. that's all the secret to this.
Kool Kane wrote:

Thirst!
just joking... I'm still running the train;-)

Ozzie motivated me to face my fears and go out alone in the past.
To me going out alone and talking to girls felt like a huge pain in the ass.
But I evolved with time and now I'm addicted to going out all the time. It's almost more fun to hustle new chicks than fucking them. almost...

thnx for being a great motivator.



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#12
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

cheers.. lol.
Noronha wrote:
HAHAHAH "I want to be good, but not that good!" 



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#13
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

this is basically coming straight from programs week in, week out. rsd instructors don't stop working, that's the difference with other companies. this is really like a sausage factory here. our material evolves organically. 
jabbaworks321 wrote:
Always feel like Ozzie's vids and articles get to the real heart of the problem. Not that other instructors don't but...Ozzie systematically targets the embarrassing shit, which makes it less embarrassing and isolating, and nonjudgementally breaks it down. Thanks dude.
Login or register to post.
#14
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

thanks for all the suggestions. i try to provide lots on content in one article so it is valuable. i don't post until i really have something to say. i know the entertainment side of the audience and i try to cater to both. the problem with pickup technology is that all has been said already. coming up with original stuff becomes increasingly harder everytime. it doesn't help me i provide content and nobody cares. i did that for a couple of years on my blog, lots of effort for nothing. people are not interested in real coaching. it was a painful lesson but i learned it well. i was called anything from moronic to slow, to idealistic. loving my lessons though. nothing is free in this life.
MakeItHappen wrote:
ozzie i really like your raw style of delivery. your standards for the CONTENT of your posts seem to be extremely high and while there are many people who appreaciate style of delivery, flashy editing etc. there are also many clients who are more focused on the pure content. They come here not to be entertained but rather to learn valuable lessons that will help them improve their lifes.

also i really appreciate the relationship advice! anyway, since you're diving into the more weird sexual topics, i think you could expand into realms outside of relationships, and give advice on how to escalate from makeout to fuck after you brought your date home or after you pulled a girl home the same night etc..... that would be really valuable
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#15
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Todd wrote:
hahaha... LOVED this vid!
cheers. love yours too. 
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#16
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

www.pickupmadesimple.com
Snakeeye wrote:
i like to find ozzys blog, do some one have a link ?  thanks,
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#17
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

The Dave wrote:
Great advice!
thanks. let me know if you have time what exactly you liked about it. cheers
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#18
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

sick
IVIsHero wrote:
awesome
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#19
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

this exact  pattern is called labeling. you lable yourself as weird. it applies to all pickup guys who are afraid to get caught seducing or using techniques on women. 
tigerbalm wrote:
Hey Ozzie, i was reading what you were talking about patterns that run through your head before you approach a girl and i can relate to that so much.

After like 4 months of doing this i wasn't aware that i got caught up in negative thinking patterns and i'm so glad i took the time to read this article. When i look back now i realised that every time i approached a girl i would be thinking "Everyone will look at me and think i'm a weirdo" & "Her friends are there, they're gonna think i'm weird".

Thanks again!


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#20
Thor

Thor

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/04/2010 | Posts: 292

I love you ozzie
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#21

Astore

Member

Join Date: 12/16/2012 | Posts: 34

Awesome... the article and the vid. "it's not the guy who knows more about pick up who gets the girls, it's the motivated guy who gets the girls"... love that, motivation is key! Thanks Ozzie!
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#22

porkbuns

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/29/2013 | Posts: 1

"I want to be good, but not that good."
I went out to the club yesterday and had girls show interest, but I totally chickened out exactly as you described. What a timely video. Thanks, Ozzie.
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#23
Luckness

Luckness

Member

Join Date: 12/13/2012 | Posts: 55

BOSS
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#24
Mitizaro

Mitizaro

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/14/2009 | Posts: 1070

Why does not anyone on RSD mention tools, toys, leather straps, anal... yes not in a sense but more like culmination of both partner's sexual adventerous desires.

One of my dreams is to make my room very soon be a palace. Will rearrange the whome room and second bed shall be for sex only.. and above it there will be a curtain - behind the curtain i will hold my homemade lace silikone and leather belt, homemade dildo, the face mask, the silk stoles (for hand/leg wrapping) and the lube - along with a real like those gum machines - but instead it drops condoms!! :)

How awesome would it be to get hot and you just.. pull the curtain out to reveal the Arsenal!!?
Creativity really spices life, love it!! :)
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#25
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Plenty of that on the net. But I am all for sexual stuff that leads to improve the relationship.
Thanks for your feedback.
Mitizaro wrote:
Why does not anyone on RSD mention tools, toys, leather straps, anal... yes not in a sense but more like culmination of both partner's sexual adventerous desires.

One of my dreams is to make my room very soon be a palace. Will rearrange the whome room and second bed shall be for sex only.. and above it there will be a curtain - behind the curtain i will hold my homemade lace silikone and leather belt, homemade dildo, the face mask, the silk stoles (for hand/leg wrapping) ando the lube - along with a real like those gum machines - but instead it drops condoms!! :)

How awesome would it be to get hot and you just.. pull the curtain out to reveal the Arsenal!!?
Creativity really spices life, love it!! :)
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#26
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Luckness wrote:
BOSS

Sick!
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#27
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

Me too. Feedback appreciated if you are inclined.
Thor wrote:
I love you ozzie
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#28
Polarize

Polarize

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/19/2010 | Posts: 255

Ozzie. I gotta say, this article has given me a structure on how to reflect on my issues. It was until I read this article that I realized that I had some negative thought patterns. I have this fear of going out because I don't have a job (money) or transportation right now. Although, the bars are about 6-7 blocks away from my apartment. During the day, I sometimes go to the nearest Starbucks (also about 6-7 blocks away from home) and I fear that I will get kicked out of there for approaching girls (bothering customers) and afraid of being able to convince them to walk back to my place at that distance.
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#29

Rich77

Member

Join Date: 11/01/2012 | Posts: 39

The "Love Doctor" is in the house!!

Thanks Ozzie!
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#30

learn RSD

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/19/2013 | Posts: 13

Thanks for the video!
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#31

learn RSD

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/19/2013 | Posts: 13

Thanks for the video!
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