Hi guys,


Been working a lot on video editing and producing 4 new videos. Learning as I
go. Anyway leave comments, criticism is welcome too.

Anybody from the London, UK area is welcome
to apply for instructor assistant. Just email me at
.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's my schedule for the rest of the year 2012/13:


November 16-18: London

November 23-25: Copenhagen or London

November 30-December 2: Reykjavik

December 7-9: London

December 16-18: London

Here's the schedule for 2013 

January 11-13 Munich or London BC with Alex

January 18-20 London BC

January 25-27 Oslo BC with Alex

February 1-3 London BC with Alex

February 8-10 Stockholm BC

February 15-17 London BC

February 22-24 Tallinn BC

March 1-3 London BC

March 8-10 Dublin BC

March 15-17 London BC

March 22-24 Berlin BC

March 29-31 London BC


Sign up right now at: www.rsdbootcamp.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Benefits Of The Mind’s Awesome Pliableness
You rarely use the mind extreme plasticity to your advantage. You keep seeing people use the powers of the mind to ostracize themselves or simply be idle when there is real potential in such
characteristics. Mind’s extreme pliable qualities are demonstrated when people
make radical changes in extremely short periods of time like a single approach
or in a weekend’s program. That’s thanks to the power of the mind to extremely
adapt, overcome and change in an instant.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx3GpsQODyc



If you want to get mystical, you can look at Gurus who claim that spiritual enlightenment came to them in one
single moment when they were doing something absolutely unrelated to spirituality,
or people who radically change after a death of a close one. The mind changes
very rapidly for the worst too. However, it all shows you one single thing: the
mind changes fast. New habits and behaviours can replace old ones very quickly.


Don’t Change Your Life, Instead
Change Your Thinking

It is not what happens to us in the club but how we interpret it. I got rejected hard last night on my first two
sets to the point my only student that night was enjoying it-students get a
kick out of the instructor getting blown out. My third set went extremely well.
 I asked my student whether my first two fouled tries were necessary to set me up for the third successful one. But he didn’t understand my question at first. The harder I get blown out, the more
excited I get. Sometimes I do it on purpose to get excited –not this time
though.
It has a better effect when it happens without me trying to fail on purpose. I always get a rise out of it. It motivates me to do things and deep down I know that my good set is coming around the bend. I
have changed my mind’s plasticity to think differently about failure.  

Events, Not, But Your
Interpretation Must Change

Sometimes, people expect the worse in life so every event is tinged with that. So there interpretation of events
has always these black overtones. If things are bad, they become dark. If
things are dark they become doom. So it really doesn’t matter the event but the
interpretation.

But you can change that.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aV3xRjPSAk

We can use alchemical processes with your mind by means of which you might change the way you interpret events.It doesn’t mean walking around with rose-tinted glasses. It means not walking
around with red-tinted glasses. You see red everywhere.

Let’s say you expect women to be mean, so you will interpret every bit of body language from a girl as a
confirmation of your view of the world. Sometimes you might even interpret good
signals as bad.

It is said of people with social fears that they walk around with amber-colored glasses. It is like they are
paralyzed in front of a traffic light stuck in amber and they are waiting for
it to either go red or green. In the interlude, they do nothing. They are just
stuck in fear.

When a student tell me, “Well, I have been rejected before, that’s why.” That’s a valid answer and I am always
glad when I get honesty and not delusion. I know the student is close to the
alchemical change because their mind is very plastic and it is ready to change.
I normally ask, “Is that so all the time, every time that you approach?” Of course,
this question allows them to redirect themselves to the positive evidence. They
start recalling situations when things have gone well for them.

Or maybe they haven’t developed a thick skin to situations and they are oversensitive to women’s remarks by
reading too much into what women say. They might be misreading female testing
for what it really is, just another way of being attracted to you. All of this
brings about short term change but alchemy is more about permanent change. Long
term transformation of your psyche.

You Need To Die

A part of you needs to die.
Sometimes all of you. That part of you that is a chode must be annihilated. Tim
invented that letter of good-bye to the inner chode that we use in our
bootcamps. That letter is about a part of you that needs to die.  It involves a sacrifice. It is a symbolic
death. Some students throw that letter down the toilet, others burn it. The
essential you needs to survive though. But without the old.

 First you need to accept that the old ways of
thinking don’t work out anymore. They have become a drag.

If you are a way too negative guy, it is helpful to facilitate your transformation by making “a grateful list”:
     
I am glad ……
 
I am glad I am not…..

I am fortunate because….

Etc.

If you are too critical with yourself –perfectionists are- it is helpful to do the “die-hard supportive
friend” drill. It goes like this for every negative thought; I want you to
imagine you have a “die-hard supportive friend” ready to give you sound advice
to counter-act the negativity. For example, “girls don’t like me”, I want you
to write down your “supportive friend’s advice next to it, like, “there are
lots of girl who do like you, you will find them if you keep approaching”.  And it goes on and on like that for every pestilent cognition you might have. For this to work, you need to imagine this friend as
somebody ultra-positive to the point of delusion that will be there for you to
the bitter end. This is guy is so ultra-supportive, positive that he will make
you puke with his unconditional die-hard support.

If you keep doing this drill with die-hard tenacity, you will become your number one fan.  You will change. You will become the
supportive friend to yourself. Simple, but difficult to execute since people
are their own worst enemy.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrhOP4hdMt0

The Program Drill

I use a program drill to teach students that they can’t expect everyone to like them and that’s ok. It is them
that need to like themselves not others. Even though my students understand
this at a logical level, they can’t accept it at an emotional level so I have
to force them to feel it. So I position them at the top of a tube escalator,
partially blocking the way for people to get through and I ask them to spread
their legs and arms in start fish position. This is a really embarrassing drill
and as people get through they give you mean looks.

 Students need to take people’s justified anger
for blocking their way but eventually they get used to it and it doesn’t bother
them anymore. They learn to be supportive of themselves without external
validation. This is the process of transformation. The old you is dying and a
new you-who was always there- coming up. People won’t change unless they have
to. That drill forces you pliable mind to bend and become different very
quickly. 

Dubious Affirmations

I am particularly dubious about certain type of affirmations that people recite like crazy in order to get rich
and things like that. That strikes me as some sort of misguided narcissism and
wish fulfillment. Psyche doesn’t really transform that way. By visualizing a
better car or house, you might be blocking emotions you need to feel. Not
really sure how it helps. I like affirmations that relate to your particular
characteristics and need. I also like affirmations that create cracks in old
belief systems. But they must apply to you personally. I like affirmations that
are specific and not to out of the wall, like “I have limitations but I know
can do better”.

I prefer you write them down in primary school fashion. And repeat them 5 or 6 times mornings and evenings.
Writing is very powerful. It kind of imprints them in your subconscious. And
like I said, the idea must be relative to you and your issues, otherwise, there
is no positive effect. Transformation only happens around your issues, that’s
why we can’t use another guy’s affirmations. All of this proves the mind’s
extreme pliableness to change if you have the proper tools.

Relationship Advice? Little Things
That Go A Long Way

Sometimes it is not what we do but
how we think of it that makes a difference. Most guys think of a relationship
like a long string of chores and also putting up with a girl’s moods in order
to get regular sex. I want to side with men in the forum who are in a long term
relationships and tell you exactly where we fail as men in relationships. I
always thought of those things as chores but I realize how important they were
to keep her out of her “mood swings”.

I want to give you the top “actions” if you want to keep her being a good girl, hooked on you. On the flip
side, these are red flags if she is not “interested” anymore and is already
looking outside to “fill the void”, otherwise known as cheating. Women move on
faster than we do. Also they move on earlier. It is common for a woman to be looking
at other men while she is on her way out of a relationship. Men take longer to
smell the coffee. She knows she is going to be single soon and there is nothing
they hate more than being single “again” after investing 2 or 3 “biological”
years on a relationship. So she is “bridging” you while you are in limbo
wondering whether to break up or stay with her-she has limited “biological
time” while you don’t. I insist you pay attention when she “plays down”
important things as a tell-tale sign.

So this is my top 6:

Birthdays/Major Dates/Anniversaries.
This is the winner. There are two anniversaries where
women need you, her birthday is one. Those are crucial times for her because
she is likely to “poke holes" in her love life. If she rather spends (or
plays down) those dates with her girlfriends, you are already in trouble. You
might want to think why that is. Her girl pals might be talking her out of your
relationship with her. This one happened to me. Every time she spent time with
her girlfriends, she came home in a “mood”. I am smarter these days. I remember
having my ex-girlfriend at the time take me to a restaurant on her birthday and
making her pay out of her pocket for the meal –not a fancy restaurant either- after
I completely forgot about the birthday. I am a cautionary tale. It was like
everything I did screamed I don’t give a shit about you. New Year’s Eve is
another important one because it involves 
“family” stuff. I recall telling my ex on New Year’s Eve to go and hang
out with her friends because I was busy with my own family. Ouch!

Looks Fucking Matter!
Don’t let yourself go because you are having regular sex, and
also don’t stop approaching women if possible. Those two things might keep you
interesting to her and “hooked”. Growing a pouch gut might be “cute” but she
will start looking for men that look after themselves instead. She might lose
interest. In fact, she might be looking as we speak. I would also keep her on a
leash if she was out of shape. She loved that I was always on her case and
watched her diet. I wanted us both to be in shape.

Jealousy.
Stop that shit. Girlfriends sometimes test you in that area. When they see you
can’t handle it they will sneak their flirting from you. You will lose her
easier that way. If she enjoys male attention, which all women do, she will do
it behind your back. Instead of being reactive, show some restraint and talk to
other women yourself, she will come crawling back. It is funny the more women
are interested in you, the more your girlfriend will be on a leash. There is
nothing like being on “demand” to keep them interested. I used to go dancing
salsa with mine and she got jealous/concerned when other hot girls ask me to
dance with them. On the other hand, if she doesn’t give you a reason, don’t
overplay your hand. Don’t blatantly approach women around her in order to make
her jealous. Being over jealous also leads women to cheat more. It has to do
with prohibiting something and human being just want to do it, kind of like the
forbidden fruit deal.
Don’t Underestimate
What She does for a living even if you make a ton of money more
than her.  Include there milestones in
her job, career, studies, new jobs, etc. It shows you care. Be happy for her
and celebrate. Take her out dancing or for dinner. Again, it is the little
things she cares. On the flip side, if she doesn’t tell you about these things
and doesn’t make a big deal out of it, you are in trouble. She lost interest in
the relationship. Again, watch out for evenings with her pal friends and so on,
she might be moving on. Surprisingly, this is one of the few that I always kept
in mind with my ex even though she made/had way more money than me. I would
encourage her in her career goals even though I was always slightly jealous of
her boss. 

Cheating.
This is so big and this is why I always stay strictly monogamous in my long
term relationships. Cheating is a pain in the ass because you have to hide
things from her and in the end they always find out. Women have radar for your
body language and “cheating ways”. Alternatively, if you tell her openly you
will see other women and they say they are “fine with it”, I got news for you,
women are not “fine with you sticking your pecker in another woman”, any more
than we are with her and another guy. If you, on the other hand, are already cheating,
remember the females excel at one thing, revenge. She doesn’t have to know for
real. If she feels you cheated on her, she might do the same to you just to get
even. In her mind, she will rationalize it as you did it first, so it is open
season. That guy who is been flirting with her in the office, will get lucky at
the next Christmas party.

Don’t let her get away with bullshit.
Call her on her bullshit. They tested and you
passed that’s how they see it. One of the things she used to tell me as a
positive was she could never get away with anything in our relationship. They
love that you care enough to point out shit even if  she doesn’t like it. Things like the way she
dresses when she is out with you, the way she talks to you, when she tries to
get away with something she knows you don’t like, etc. are crucial to keep in
mind. Even if it comes to an argument, she knows you care. Sometimes they do it
to see if you are paying attention. Women need constant reassurance, they are security
freaks.   Again the flip side, if they
are not testing you, that means they might be looking elsewhere for validation.
They might be have lost interest and are already moving on.
                                                                                                                                                                            

Where does this fit with the pliability of your mind?

It does if you think about it. You need
to change the way you think about women. Women are not this unpredictable,
emotional bundle that you fail to understand. They tend to react in the same
way that we do, most of the time. Look at the list above and turned it around.
Take a moment to think how you would feel if she did those things to you.
Really, take a moment. Shift your paradigm about these things and get closer to
the reality of the world.

Integration Of Opposites


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jn8b71Ze5M

In order to integrate, you need to submit to the process of change. It is painful and it feels sometimes you are
in a tub of boiling water. Students in my program report their body temperature
gets high and they sweat. That means transformation is happening. Alchemy is
happening. Painfully productive time. Next day they wake up and feel like shit
too. However, slowly they start to become more positive as they see the payoffs
of what they are doing.

Human beings change for two reasons, extreme fear or in-your-face payoffs. People report quitting smoking
on the spot when the doctor shows them an x-ray of their decrepit lungs. Other
people stop puffing away at cigarettes when they see how much better they feel
when they stop, how they can breathe better, gaining weight, etc.

I know once a student sees the payoffs of getting rid of his fears in the field, they will embrace the hard
core drills. They stop caring about hard core rejections. As a result,
rejections don’t happen. However, the beginning and middle of the process of
integration is full of pain. 

Why?

Because parts of you are dying in the process. Good death.

 The process of integration moves you from one end of the spectrum to the other. Common opposites are inner/outer, fear/confidence, scarcity/abundance (mind), natural/artificial, masculine/feminine,
negative/positive, active/passive, stagnant/ever-changing, rigid/flexible, etc.
The movement from one end to the other is extremely painful but pay great
dividends in terms of personal growth.

Let’s take the most common movement from being a negative guy in the field, to becoming positive. I do this
movement every weekend, not without pain. First I try to find what’s the guy’s
script, his blue print of sorts. He might think, “Women don’t like me because I
am not good looking”. So he “expects” women to reject him based on his looks.
So I allow him to voice his fears in this area until he zeros in on  a situation that he feels this negative
script will happen beyond the shadow of a doubt –may be approaching a hot girl
surrounded by 7 of her hot girlfriends. Human beings are situational learners
so I use that to my advantage as a coach. Once we identify the “feared”
situation we move in on it, but with a catch: I make the likelihood of the
script 10 times more likely to happen. It means I artificially “charge the
situation” with 10 times more fear. I make him ten times more likely to be
rejected through different program drills and tactics. Slowly the student
starts to find out that rejection doesn’t happen even when he is actively
looking for it, or if it does, it is never as bad as imagined. Transformation
starts to happen in his psyche. He goes from being negative to reasonably
having positive expectations about female’s reactions to him and his “bad looks”.
Sometimes quickly, other times slowly. Yet it happens. ( This process might be quite intricate and complicated than I make it
look like here for the sake of explanation because most guys have multiple
scripts that “interchange” themselves and make my job quite complex at times. “Ever
shifting student’s blueprints” are a coach’s nightmare but also accounts for
the precious wisdom you get on program.)

Anyway this is all I wanted to say about transformations today and how easy your mind changes and adapts to
external stimuli if you use the right tools for the job. Hope it helped you and
drop comments and I will definitely answer them to the best of my ability.[=9pt]



Anyway leave
comments, criticism is welcome too.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's your schedule for the rest of the year 2012 and 2013:



November 9-11: London

November 16-18: London

November 23-25: Copenhagen or London

November 30-December 2: Reykjavik

December 7-9: London

December 16-18: London





Here's the schedule for 2013



January 4-6 Amsterdam or London BC with Alex

January 11-13 Munich or London BC with Alex

January 18-20 London BC

January 25-27 Oslo BC with Alex

February 1-3 London BC with Alex

February 8-10 Stockholm BC

February 15-17 London BC

February 22-24 Tallinn BC

March 1-3 London BC

March 8-10 Dublin BC

March 15-17 London BC

March 22-24 Berlin BC

March 29-31 London BC



Sign up right now at: www.rsdbootcamp.com

------------------------------------------------------------

Ps: Loving all
the comments I got in the previous article, including the youtube comments.
Working on some of the suggestions there. Video quality improves slowly but we
are getting there. Soon I will release some infield if possible. Anybody from the
London, UK area is welcome to apply for instructor assistant. Just email me at
.