Hi guys,




Had to squeeze my article in today because I haven't posted in two weeks. Also there is a product launch coming and won't be able to post only one article more before next year. Been working a lot on video editing and producing new
videos. Learning as I go. Anyway leave comments, criticism is welcome
too. 



Anybody from the London, UK area is welcome

to apply for instructor assistant. Just email me at
ozzie@realsocialdynamics.com



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Here's my schedule for the rest of the year 2012/13:


November 30-December 2: Reykjavik


December 7-9: London


December 16-18: London


Here's the schedule for 2013 


January 11-13 Munich or London BC with Alex

January 18-20 London BC 

January 25-27 Oslo BC with Alex

February 1-3 London BC with Alex

February 8-10 Stockholm BC 

February 15-17 London BC 

February 22-24 Tallinn BC 

March 1-3 London BC 

March 8-10 Dublin BC 

March 15-17 London BC 

March 22-24 Berlin BC 

March 29-31 London BC 


Sign up right now at: www.rsdbootcamp.com



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  How To Stop Being A Little Bitch In The Field And Become A Victor.
High Vs. Low Level Of Consciousness.

 

“Music is too loud”, “I don’t feel good today”, “I don’t
like the girls here”, “girls are too bitchy”, “I hate this club”. These are all
things you tell yourselves when you are in victim mode in the club. They all
come from the same place: I feel victimized by my circumstances. We have all
been there. It doesn’t mean we want to stay there. You want to have a process
in place when you fall prey to those thoughts because even when you dealt with
them they do come back and bite you in the ass. So here we go.

Victim Mentality Triggers

(The following video I really did enjoy making it. I have to thank S. my assistant for putting up with my perfectionism. Great guy. I am finally enjoying the process of making videos. I couldn't enjoy it before though. I was in victim mentality. :) Hope you like it.) 



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7NCxAP5W3U

A string of rejections or one rejection can trigger victim
mode. It is very simple. A guy pushed you out of set and you felt bad because
you couldn’t handle it. A fatty pushed you out of a group that you thought you
had conquered, an ugly girl/hot girl ignored you and so on. The victim role can
be triggered by elementary circumstances in cold approaching.

But not necessarily.

If you are in victim mode a lot is for a different reason.

You take a victimizing approach to life.

It is not just in the club. Your whole outlook on life is
that of a victim. You probably don’t even know it. Why? Because in this society
it is acceptable to play the victim. However, you might reconsider whether you
want to play the victim in your own life and continue to screw it up. Your
victim mode will make miserable every step of the way.

True grit is a great western to watch if you want to see the
opposite of victim mentality. I particularly love the girl playing the lead and
her unwavering focus on her goals throughout the movie and the many things he
had to go through to achieve his goal.

In real life we have papa as a good example in our company.
I never heard that guy complain about anything in all the time I have known
him. he gets things done. That’s it. Even when instructors bitch and moan about
everything from hotel rooms, flights, etc., to really stupid shit he keeps
focus on solutions never on problems. I always come to him with a bunch of
problems and he provides solutions without asking how the problems came about. Even
when we were head butting on occasions, he would keep focus on solutions. Great
living example. Not sucking up to the boss, just plain facts. I don’t think
sucking up works with him neither. There is no other way of keeping a company
afloat in a crazy business. He keeps us moving forward no matter what, bad
times, good times, one of the reasons I am still around no doubt.

Victim And Lower Level Of Consciousness

Victim mentality from a lower level of consciousness. It
could be said that you are very unaware of it when you slip into it. Some
people call it “ego protection” but there are so many things people call “ego”
these days I rather not refer to it that way. A lower level of consciousness
means you are almost sleep walking. Ever heard the phrase “sleep walking
through life”, that’s exactly what I am referring too. People never stop to
think about what’s happening, they just follow the general random string of
events. It is important for you to know what it is to recognize when you are in
it.

For example, it helps to know what the opposite is in order
for you to integrate both sides of your personality. Lower level of
consciousness vs. higher level. I can only write this article from a higher
level of consciousness. When you are being creative is an example of a higher
level of consciousness. Being proactive vs. reactive forces you to step out of
yourself and find solutions. Whenever you are solution oriented, you are at a
higher level of consciousness.

Victim mentality happens when you are asleep but awake.
That’s why you can call it “sleep walking”. For example, you say things like,
“That girl was mean to me. Why is she such a bitch? She is not even hot”.  Basically you are saying she victimized you.
You are the victim, she is the persecutor. Why give your power away? Simple,
you are sleep walking now. You are shutting down your solutions vault
temporarily. You want a reason to stop approaching and she is giving it to you
on a silver tray. “Why are women such bitches?”

Another example, “I don’t feel like approaching tonight. I
am not in the right mood. It would not work anyhow when I am down”. Why is this
victim mentality? It doesn’t have to be a person victimizing you. It could be
your mood! Lower level of consciousness! You are sleep walking again.

Most people spend their lives in a fog. They never come out
of their self deception. They spend their lives tolerating a job they don’t
like anymore, a wife they are not attracted to, a place they don’t want to live
in, and so on. They do it because they have some wishful thinking going on.
They think one day they will wake from their dream and things will be
different. They die and nothing has changed.

What Does It Take?Instant Gratification Vs. Instant Discomfort

You want the latter. To give you an example: jogging in the
morning. You will find mornings are chilly, you have to get up early, you put
on your shoes, it is raining at times. Victim, victim, victim. Right? There is
no instant gratification but unfairness to jogging in the mornings. However, if
you try it, it will change your whole outlook on your day. It will energize
you. long term benefits are countless. Again, when in victim mode you don’t see
any benefits. It is all inconvenience. What if I am travelling, what if I am
busy, what if I am sick, what if I catch a cold in the morning chill, all valid
reasons…to be a victim.

It is really no choice at all. Either you are picking one or
the other in real life.

Change Your Compass?

(The following video explains how I coach this with clients. I had to cut it short because of you tube requirements and time for loading. The process does get deeper in real life and is far more extensive.)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-1QpJL9UOs



Most people in victim mode on one area, tend to be that way
in every area. Their compass always points to the V of victim. So if you are a
victim in one area of your life I suggest you look at other areas. You might be
“covertly” self deluding in other parts of your existence. Self deception is
rejecting the obvious and accepting the impossible. For example, you might be
saying, “this is not too bad”, “I will wait for things to change”. Remember
that things don’t change unless you take some aggressive action.

If I feel generally angry in some part of my life, I am
probably victimizing myself one way or another. I have to look into it to see
what’s really going on.

Getting Head (Tips Section Of The Article)

(I mean to have a section on every article for guys in
relationship or multiple relationships. It is all part of the game. it could be
used also for one night stands,  it is up
to you.)
So in this case if you are a fan of oral sex like I am-effortless sex-
you will enjoy this part. Some women don’t like giving oral sex or simply guys
don’t know how to ask. First, you need to understand women perform this feat
for guys they really like only. If she is not giving it to you, you might want
to look into why that is. It could be a simple communication issue so here it
goes. Top tips to get blow jobs. I will give you simple stuff you can do right
now and so you don’t make it into rocket science.

  . A blow job has to do with you doing for her and
get her to do it for you. In other words learn how to give her great oral sex
first. Do your research, don’t be lazy if you are in a relationship. You want
amazing blow jobs, learn to give them first.

. Positions. 69 is a great position to get her to
reciprocate. Do it often.

 . Take a fucking shower. Be clean before sex.

. Trim the fuck out. Don’t want her spitting pubic
hair. It is a turn off.

.  Ejaculating. It is up to her where/when she
wants to take it and what she wants to do with it.(I have had girls running for
the toilet after it, others just enjoy it, others like to play with it, etc.)
Some women are open for anything, others aren’t. So let her do what she wants
with it and see first where you stand before you enter into negotiations with
her about your particular fantasy. Remember this is real life and not a porn
movie. Those porn actresses get paid a lot of money to take it in the face.

 . Final tip. Pablovian shit of dogs salivating at
the sound of a bell: give her great sex in general. Women are more willing to
do more things for you if you give her a great time in bed. After giving her
multiple orgasms, you condition her to think that she giving you oral sex is
somehow associated with great sex. She will buy into it faster that way. She
will associate giving/receiving pleasure with giving great blow jobs. Next time
she wants amazing sex, she knows what to do to get it.

What’s The Ultimate Solution The Victim Problem?

Victims are always in reactive mode to their fears. They
can’t seem to take a step back. In order to defeat the tremendous pull of your
personal faggotry, you need to learn to live with the fear. Stay with your
fears and not react to them. When you take actions based on fear, you
immediately move into spoof territory. You are already on the wrong side of the
stick. You need to stay with your panic for a while and THINK. I know this is
something you don’t want to do but remember what I said earlier about instant
gratification vs. instant discomfort. You want the latter. It pays off long
term.

By stepping back, you are not only not being reactive, you
are stepping out of the victim mentality. You give yourself time to move into a
higher level of consciousness. You are transcending. You are taking the bull by
horns. If you act based on fear, you are training yourself to accept fear as a
motivator for taking action. All your energy will go into taking some action
“against” the problem(victimizer). You can say, “how can I ever solve the
problem without taking action “against” it?” Valid question but mute. You will
be reactive and your problem will aggravate. You are training yourself to take
action ONLY when there is anxiety. Bad for you long term. On the short term, it
might give you “illusion of action”. It is the typical situation of people who
go on a diet only when they look fat. But fail to take long term precautions
around their diet in general. They keep coming up against the same problem over
and over. They get fat, then they lose weight. They get fat again, they go on a
diet again. They fail to take consistent long term action because they are
“reacting” to their fears. They have trained themselves to act ONLY when there
is fear.

In our community, it is very easy to spot this. People go in
the field without  a comprehensive plan
of action and find themselves reacting to their circumstances and getting into
victim mode. I have heard many times the usual “I have been in the game for 2
years, but still not get laid”. I am the victim of an unfair state of affairs.
You take the wrong side of the street to look at your situation. Instead of
looking exactly what you have been doing for 2 years, you decide to jump into
the “poor me” pool. For example, on further examination, those guys that have
been in the game for “2 years”, they usually don’t do more than 2 approaches
per night if at all. Others approach for 2 months and take 2 months off so they
block their progression. Others have been “reading stuff” for 2 years but have
failed to take any concrete action and so on. There are many reasons why that
person is stuck and the biggest one is victim mentality, acting out of fear.

 

What Does The Future Look Like For You?

Biggest thing you can do to stop falling prey to
debilitating patterns is to sit down and work out a plan, a focus, a design for
your life in this area. Be specific. If you want a hot girlfriend, write it
down. this is being solution oriented as opposed to problem oriented. Be
ambitious. If you want threesomes, write it down. Know where you are going and
set out to do it. When I envisioned threesomes early in my game -since I didn’t
have a bi girlfriend-, I decided to approach a whole bunch of two-sets so I
could master the art of pulling two sets. Eventually it started to happen. I
was not afraid anymore to pull two girls at once. That was a little baby step
towards my goals.

What do you want out of this game? write it, picture it,
have it present. Don’t try to do it all at once. What can you do today to make
it happen? Focus on doing the little things and big things will take care of
themselves. For you a “little thing” might be to sit down right now and write a
whole bunch of goals on paper. See what it looks like “not to be victim”
anymore.

The more you focus on your plan, the less you will worry
about people victimizing you. whenever somebody bothers you, you just step back
and don’t react to fear. Get back to your plan and ignore those victimizers.
They will just delay you from getting what you want. Provided your goals
motivate you will be able to tap into your passion. That will put you in higher
consciousness level immediately. You will become creative, proactive, exciting.
Ever been passionate about anything? Remember those extracurricular activities
that you went to because you like them. You never got into victim mentality
during those times. You were excited only to be there. That passion would wake
you up in the morning ready to go because you had your activity that day. In my
case, I can’t wait to my dancing night. I know it is fun and that’s why I have
zero victim mentality around it. I am creative, proactive and excited about it.
My compass always points north on that day.

Find a goal that motivates you and you will enjoy the victor
mentality too.

 Distortions Of The Victor Mentality

Wanting to win at all costs is by far the one. Why? Because
you are in reactive mode. You are acting out of fear. you will become outcome
dependent and you will react when things don’t go your way, and eventually you
will land in faggotry, excuse land. Another problem with “winning at all cost”
is that you will start to compare with others and eventually others will start
“victimizing” you. you will start asking yourself “why is he getting the girls
and I don’t?” Victim question. Compare and despair, I say. These are examples
of low level of consciousness because you are not being solution oriented. You
are being “whine” oriented. You are becoming a little bitch. You are acting out
of the fear that you won’t get what you want. This is sleep walking. This is
low level of consciousness.  

I would sit and watch better dancers in you tube and later I
will try and imitate them in the dance floor. Not for a moment I felt jealousy
because I was not in victim mode. I just wanted to look like the best dancers.
I never compare myself with them. I don’t envy them. I feel excited because I
am going to do something that looks amazing on the dance floor. This is the
reverse of envy. This is healthy admiration. This is  coming from a higher level of consciousness.
I need to become creative and resourceful to imitate those guys. I am growing.
I am not shrinking. I am not acting out of the fear of them being better than
me at this point.

It doesn’t work all the time though. (Warning! baseball
story coming at you! don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.)

 I was the same when I was playing baseball. I just wanted to imitate the best. I study up on them. I
would imitate their stance in the batter’s box, I would try and think the way
they think and so on. I was passionate to go and train because I could practice
new moves and approaches to the ball. (But it was not always like that. At first,
I was jealous of the real pro players we had in the team from the USA and
Venezuela who were significantly better than I was and got paid to play-I
wasn’t paid a salary, just my expenses. I was relegated to be a “bench player”
for a while. I had to play coming out of the bench. I bitched and moaned about
it for a while before I decided to step into solutions and stop reacting to
those guys who were obviously better).

I remember learning to hit the inside pitch for power
because I watched Barry Bonds do it- he also talked about it. Instead of home
runs (I was a skinny player) I learn to hit line drives and hard ground balls
that were impossible for the infield to catch. I started hitting the inside
pitch right in front of me down the third base line with such power that my
grounders hissed past the infield. The cracking-whip sound of my bat (I trained
myself to only hit balls in the sweet spot of the bat for maximum contact and
“cracking-whip” sound) was intimidating to infielders who would hear it and get
out of the way. I just applied something I learned from a power hitter –hit the
ball in front of you and pull it- and adapted it to a small player like me.
This is called being creative. The fringe benefit was that I would forgo the
outside pitch. I started drawing a lot of walks because pitchers would not
throw the ball near me. I got the respect of a slugger being a small player. Higher
level of consciousness. Coach, who was not stupid and wanted to win, gave me
the starting job on many games. I still remember the warm feeling of leaving
those “pros” in the bench as I came in the field to start the game. But those
guys motivated me. They were my “persecutors”.

“How Can I Give Value Right Now?”

Asking that question and making
that shift in what you focus on really helps, even if you may not feel totally
like doing it.So I figure out how I can give
someone else value, how I can help someone out.And thing is that the way you
behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave
towards yourself and think about yourself. For example, judge people more and
you tend to judge yourself more. Be more kind to other people and help them and
you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.A bit counter intuitive perhaps,
but that has been my experience. The more you love other people, the more your
love yourself.

 

As long as you keep this high/low level of consciousness in
mind, you are more unlikely to fall prey to victimhood. You will become a
victor. You will realize your visions and your goals for yourself. You might
want to try that formula in your job or something simple first before you
branch out. It works faster than you think.

Anyway leave comments, criticism is welcome too. 







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Here's your schedule for the rest of the year 2012 and 2013:


November 30-December 2: Reykjavik

December 7-9: London

December 16-18: London


Here's the schedule for 2013 


January 4-6 Amsterdam or London BC with Alex

January 11-13 Munich or London BC with Alex

January 18-20 London BC 

January 25-27 Oslo BC with Alex

February 1-3 London BC with Alex

February 8-10 Stockholm BC 

February 15-17 London BC 

February 22-24 Tallinn BC 

March 1-3 London BC 

March 8-10 Dublin BC 

March 15-17 London BC 

March 22-24 Berlin BC 

March 29-31 London BC 



Sign up right now at: www.rsdbootcamp.com



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Ps: Loving all

the comments I got in the previous article,
including the youtube comments.

Working on some of the suggestions there. Video
quality improves slowly but we

are getting there. Soon I will release some
infield if possible. Anybody from the

London, UK area is welcome to apply for instructor
assistant. Just email me at
ozzie@realsocialdynamics.com