How to bring down your fears around hot women so you can approach them from a position of power
How fear makes women appear hotter
Hot women don’t get approached so they are in reality more approachable
Doing unusually difficult sets improves your overall performance in the “easier sets”
I am currently piggybacking Julien in his tour of Europe. I am still mind boggled at the crowds this guy is drawing. It is amazing that at a young age he is doing all the right things to be successful. Anyway, it has been great touring like that and also rewarding. I am able to shoot a new video in every city and post it. I also get badly needed material from the free tours I am doing.
I will be next:
May 31-June 2, 2013: Amsterdam, Holland
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
Let’s get down to the bottom line. Women sleep with men that they find self-confident, daring and slightly dangerous. In other words, somebody they feel challenging. It is up to you if you are it.
You will NOT get laid by playing therapist, being best friend or through romantic courtship. If women are hot, they have seen it all. To invest themselves they need something more. You cannot be lovely friend and dangerous jerk at the same time. You might as well face the fact you are not a jerk but a nerd from the internet. Jerks are born. By faking jerk behavior she will see through you. Why? Women have an advanced sense to smell bull when they see it. It won’t work, at least not for the long term.
On the other hand you might score being a nerd if you dare to approach. Hotter women know men find them intimidating. Just taking action might put you up there in the list of gutsy men who dared to speak to her. You are part of a small elite of men who dare to talk to women that they are attracted to. Women find this also very attractive. The irony
Let’s talk female psychology here for a moment. Women boost their beauty with cloth and make up to attract the right candidate. However, in the process they attract a bunch of losers they need to get rid of. Women are on high alert for chumps in the club. They see them out of the corner of their eyes circling them but not daring to approach. It makes them uncomfortable because once they approach they must get rid of them if they approach at all. The silver lining of this situation lies in the fact that most men never dare to approach a hot girl. If they did, they give up fast at the first sign of trouble. Most guys think “she is out of my league” and simply move on. Hotter women feel lonely by their condition. If they did get approached they need to figure out in no time whether the man really likes her or he is just window shopping. She won’t invest in a guy who is just interested in her for her looks only; you must remember she is also looking for Mr. Right, just like the other skanks. Her beauty is as much of a problem to her as it is a god given talent. Attractive women deal with insecurity issues too… of a different type though.
Having said that, you must target hotter women as a whole because not only you improve your chances with lesser girls but also because you might score! You won’t find a downside. If you did the approach and fail, you get a pump in self-esteem for approaching a fearful situation but also all the girls around that area saw you chatting the sweetest girl there. They won’t know whether you were rejected or not for sure. Other women think that if you are good enough to talk to the alpha female, then they can invest in you too. If, on the other hand, you succeed and she likes you, you take all the cake. “Making all the first moves”
You want to make all the first moves because women won’t. You might think it is unfair on you but it isn’t. Hotter women don’t differ much from regular girls in that area. They expect you to “Man up!” and get on with it. If you don’t, then you are not good enough for her anyway. First moves philosophy applies all the way to the bedroom. In dating males take all the risks. Women take the final risk of having sex with you. Economically, the daring prospect of getting pregnant and not having financial support is all on her. Men can only win on that one. For men there is no downside when it comes to sex, not for the woman. In courtship, though, the female of the specie doesn’t take a lot of risks; all she has to do is sit and wait for the right candidate.
So make your move! What women say and what they actually do is a different thing. When women talk about what they want in a man, they are usually repeating what they heard from their mothers or what sounds right for their mother. What women crave they don’t tell because her mom or dad won’t approve. Women crave being surprised by a man. But they won’t tell you the truth. If they have to tell you how to behave around them, they are not interested anymore. What they think is different from what they do.
Anyway, I am out. Short article today.
Comments are welcome.
I will be next:
May 31-June 2, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam, Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
On Budapest as we speak.
Excited to be here and do my first webminar. I decided to throw a Google type
of video this time around sprinkled with some infield from the Oslo BC
(disclaimer: infield videos are not up to Hotseat standards of quality)
relevant to the content. I ran a program with Julien and a free tour in Oslo.
It was amazing the turnout. Thanks for coming out, you guys and girls (some
women too) were great.
I will be changing the format of articles and
write up articles and videos on the same topic rather than different topics as
I have done until now. It makes sense marketing and content wise to center on
one thing per article. Whatever I won’t cover in the video, I can make up for
it by writing about it. Sometimes I can’t talk about certain things in the
video which I would rather write about. Anyway, hope you like it. Comments,
constructive criticism, welcome as usual. I try and answer all your questions
same day depending on how busy I am or internet availability.
I will be next:
May 17-19, 2013: Budapest, Hungary
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
The thing to remember about low self-worth is that it
fluctuates. There are days when you have it or on others you feel alright.
Still, if this is the case there is room for improvement and growth and you
might as well start working on it.
Indicators of low self worth
1. You have trouble and anxiety shaking hands with
people in general, you feel you don’t deserve to be treated well and you most
of all you don’t deserve the attention
of hot girls.
2. You become overly upset with rejection when cold
approaching. You need people to like you to like yourself.
3. You don’t feel competent or intelligent when
approaching women. You avoid the task altogether and if you do it, you do it on
the down low. You pick situations that are few and far between and don’t represent a threat for your ego.
You might approach easy and simple sets over the juicy, big sets with the super
hot girls in it.
Common types of
negative self beliefs
The following beliefs spawn negative self talk. Always
remember that beliefs are NOT facts. They don’t necessarily have to be
true.
In this game, you might find yourself thinking.
1. I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING INTERESTING TO SAY AND I
WILL COME ACROSS LIKE AN IDIOT IF I DO
APPROACH. (this is accompanied with anxiety and butterflies in your body when
you are around hot girls. Obviously, the negative belief is that “you are an idiot and incompetent around
women”.
2. I DON’T HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY AND NO WOMAN
DON’T FIND ATTRACTIVE. (You avoid
situations where this can be revealed. You feel anxious around women and again,
you are thrown into paralysis.)
3.I AM NOT SMART/GOOD/CHARMING ENOUGH FOR COLD
APPROACHING. (So, you think that only a few “chosen” guys can do this. You
always fantasize you had the skills of your
best friend “the natural” but deep inside you know you are hopeless.
Need I say more.
Make a list
Good things always start making a list. Write down at least ten good things that are going on in
your life. May be your job, your new android phone, just anything. If you keep
adding things to the list you will start finding things about yourself that you
like. It might cheer you up and you can use that when talking with women. The
best thing about the list is that it is real. Everybody has positive things
going on, they just don’t bother to look.
Winner body language
I make my students walk like a winner for 5 minutes in the
club before approaching. It raises their self esteem most of the time. Practice walking like a winner. Changing your
body language has an effect on the chemicals in your brain. It might off set
the negative chemicals that are making you negative. Try it and try it again
until you get the desired effect. Don’t pay attention to your mind if it tells
you “you are still a loser” when you do this drill. Make sure you make eye
contact with women when you are walking around.
How to make her want
you more (relationship advice)
. Care about how you
look. I didn’t care about how I looked around my ex. I didn’t know she did.
She made every effort to look good for me but I didn’t reciprocate. You might
be transmitting to her you don’t care about the relationship. Dress for the
occasion. If you are going to dinner, dress smart. If you are going dancing, it
is ok to wear different types of cloth but try and not look scruffy. Women hate
that. It also kills her attraction towards you.
. Hung around other
women. She wants to know you can handle women in general. Don’t go
overboard there. But you must show her other women find you likable. In social
situations, step aside and talk to her friends and be sociable and ignore her
for a bit. Show her other women find you attractive(no need to create jealousy
plot lines here. Be easy about this). You might also convey you are slightly
unavailable to her that way. In the same vein, don’t answer her texts right
away. Keep her waiting for a bit. It raises your value to her to think you have
your own life and she is lucky to be a part of it.
. Avoid lying to her.
Women know when you are lying. Make sure she deserves the compliment before you
give it to her. They can read you like a book. Remember if she is your ltr you
spend a lot of times together and she knows all your little body language signs
and tell-tale signs like a poker player. You can’t fool a woman, not for long
anyway. If she has a nice dress, tell her. If you don’t like it, tell her too.
I always say to her, “I like that other dress you were wearing the other day”.
You are not criticizing her present dress but you are also conveying what you
want from her. Be clear in your messages but kind.
And I am out of here. Hope you enjoyed the video and my
webminar if you were there. Peace out!
I will be next:
May 17-19, 2013: Budapest, Hungary
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece www.rsdbootcamp.com
The LIVE WEBINAR will start on May 16th, 2013 at 10:30 PM London Time or 5:30 PM New York Time
DURING THIS FREE WEBINAR YOU WILL DISCOVER:
- How you can you keep out yourself going through the night without letting approach anxiety sidetrack you. Invigorating vs. debilitating warm up sets.
- How to approach the toughest sets to up your skill level.
- How to warm up before you enter a club so you get results you won't even believe the day after
- And Lastly, You'll Get To Ask Me ANYTHING related to game
"DO NOT MISS OUT!!!"
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I will be next:
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
First hurdle in your way becomes your logical mind. You must view it as a right/left brain deal. Most of the time you don’t know which drives because you shift from one to the other even in the middle of spontaneous action. But you want to know where your spontaneity lies.
Lines, openers, alpha behaviors
Anything you copy from the internet basically kills your free will intuitive mind. You must follow guidelines but never suppress your creativity. On program, as a coach, I aim to uncover the student’s true self by not getting in the way. You do that by giving the student a framework and then leave it up to him to fill in the blanks.
Solving complex situations at a subconscious level. In other words that buried iceberg inside your head contains all the answers from a coaching standpoint. Where you cannot logically explain why you went a certain way or chose a particular action from another. Now that’s intuition. Thinking on your feet. You can’t teach this stuff. If you can teach it, then you deviate from the true meaning of it.
Intuition and Success
It is the difference. You don’t have all the answers at a logical level. You can’t predict the ripple effects of your remarks to a girl. Your intuition can serve as radar for when things go bad or just before they go bad. Your spontaneity will guide that situation into a successful interaction. You must develop it.
Intuitive people become masters of their field. Great chess players use their intuition to anticipate their opponent’s moves 3 moves ahead of time. You can’t do that logically because they only have seconds to make decisions. Same applies to the best strikers in football who can anticipate what the defender will do and fool them. Ronaldo Nazario Lima, possibly the best striker of all time in the game, would look at the defender’s feet before executing his dribble. He could tell ahead of time what the defender would do in seconds. He would also position himself in the field where he knew the ball will find him so he could score. On an interview, the three-time World FIFA Player was quoted as saying, “I just play”. He had no idea how he did those things. Smells like intuition to me.
Same applies to dating women. If you look at a pull in retrospect, you will find moments where you anticipated situations before they happened and came up with solutions on the spot. You, for example, befriended her friends ahead of time so they would not cock block at the end of the night and such. You came up with “I don’t have any friends. I am all alone” (tongue in cheek) when they asked you, “Where are your friends?” That stuff came up out of nowhere.
So if this is so sweet, how can you develop intuition if you have none? You are this logical drone that thinks women are unpredictable emotional creatures from the planet Neptune and you can’t figure them out. How do you go about doing this?
Miscellaneous Couple Tips (Relationship Advice)
1. Never go to bed angry. I have said this one before. This is the one that allow me personally to extend my LTR over the three year limit (a personal record). Resolve differences before bedtime, ideally in a neutral ground like a coffee shop. You avoid scenes and you can get to agreements faster. One of my boundaries was not to discuss heated relationship issues inside the house. It was hard at the beginning because we spend a lot of time in the house but it is better outside if issues are heated. She will run and hide somewhere in the house if she gets into a tantrum but not in a coffee shop. Women care about how they come across to strangers more than you think. She will act like a puppy in public even though inside she feels like a spider monkey about to scream(intended humor). Furthermore, I would also take her for a nice breakfast on a Sunday morning if I wanted to talk to her about stuff in the relationship I wanted her to do for me. For some reason all those continental breakfast “happy carbs” and caffeine made her more open minded to my ideas. Be smart. Don’t be a chump.
2. Plan ahead of time couple’s holidays. I used to plan mine 2 months ahead of time. You get the best tickets at the best price. Unfortunately amazing holidays cannot be booked unless you do it well in advance. Not only you save money but you can book special activities together that otherwise will be impossible on short notice. Plan is the word. Don’t leave it up to chance. Pre-agree on things you want to do together there. Don’t leave days open because you might find each other with nothing to do. She will blame it on you for not being forward thinking enough. Many times I found myself with three days in my holiday we had nothing planned for. Your girlfriend might interpret this as a sign you don’t care enough for her. She will start whining sooner rather than later. Then she will scratch like a cat. Watch out!
3. Buy her brand-name stuff she is already buying. This is smart. When you give her presents pick stuff she is already shopping for…but better. For example, new perfumes that are coming up but she don’t have yet and so on, perfect gifts for birthdays, couple anniversaries and celebrations. It shows you pay attention to her likes therefore you care. Even if you don’t.
4. Learn techniques to resolve conflict. Guys act weird and withdraw when they fight with their girlfriend. Primary reason is they don’t know or have no idea how to approach/resolve conflict. Take time to learn skills to conflict negotiation and resolution. Don’t rely on sex to resolve conflict. Why? Though makeup sex is great, you might reinforce to her the idea of drama in an indirect way. In other words, she might create all sorts of drama in order for her to get amazing sex at the end of it. Not very healthy and it will drive you crazy with all the conflict she will create. You want to discourage drama, not promote it. Whenever there is conflict, deal with your emotions separately from her and then resolve conflict. Women will interpret your emotionality as a sign of weakness. She will drum up bogus conflict to hurt you or to get back at you because she knows you can’t handle it. Silence is not a solution to conflict. By being mute, you are telling her you are insecure and incompetent if/when you do not address situations in the relationship by using silence or stone walling her. Women know this is a weakness. Women love a man but hate boys. For her, if you cannot handle her emotionally you are a little boy. In my LTR I would yell at her and call her on her shit but then go away and cool off and come back to resolve conflict. She wants to know you are alive and you care (you can get mad at her and let her know she is being ridiculous) but also you are in control of your shit (pass tests). David Deida’s old school books come to mind now. Women crave security. She wants a man, somebody who can handle her tantrums and still screw her brains out. Make no mistake; girlfriends have no mercy for guys who act like boys. You will pay a big price for behaving like a toddler which includes testing you 24/7 and/or flirting with guys behind your back. Your choice. Learn the fucking skills.
3 Easy Ways to Develop your Sixth Sense (intuition)
Here we go. Quick and dirty like I like.
1. Let your body talk. Listen to whatever your tingling sensation your stomach is hinting at. Butterflies indicate you are about to do something risky your logical mind disapprove of. You must go against the grain here and do the opposite of what your rational brain tells you. Butterflies happen around hot women you are attracted to or groups of them. You must go in and expand your comfort zone. Heart racing is another example of your body indicating you are about to do something scary your logical mind finds disagreement with. Just do it! like the Nike commercial. You are retraining your brain that way. New neurological paths are being created as a result of your actions. That’s game!
2. Meditation. Meditation is a great way to expand your intuition. When your head is completely calm, new ideas pop up. It is really when your real self speaks. Walking meditation in nature can help you get new perspective on things. Long walks away from civilization help you unplug from the stress of life. When you come back, you are likely to have fresh ideas on how to approach old problems. Above everything, meditation teaches you how to listen to that inner voice inside yourself. That’s the voice of intuition. After all, Newton discovered gravity sitting idle under an apple tree and being hit in the head by an apple. Nature or nurture.
3. Fast intuition. A good mechanic can tell just by the sound of the car the solution to the engine problem. He trusts his associations. He trusts his gut. What is your gut (not your mind) telling you about a particular group of girls you are about to approach? Discard the usual voice of fear telling you you will suck and get deeper. Eventually, you will hear the voice of intuition telling you will be fine. Nothing bad ever happens so go for it.
Anyway I am out. You guys have fun.
I will be next:
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
Hi guys,
Just got back from Belgrade. Hot women period. Great gene pool. In this video, I dedicated
the song (Mayimbe’s “NO QUIERO COPIADERA”) in it to those who shamelessly copy
and rehash my material, FEAR TECH. I challenge you to mind your own business
and get infield and CREATE your own material and not copy another guy’s hard
work.
I will be next:
April 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
April 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
Once you remove your fears, then what? Most students don’t
know where they are going because they
never had any goals in dating because they thought they were impossible.
Once they go through a bootcamp they see the light at the end of the tunnel.
But instead of having challenging goals they sell themselves short. I sit with
them and we try and map out comprehensible goals for the future and for the
most part they seem afraid to dream big.
What’s happening? Why don’t you have challenging dreams?
First off, if you don’t dream big enough you will fail.
Dreaming big is different for everybody and it depends on where you are at
psychologically. If you feel you are a home body who spends his time playing on
line video games and masturbating to porn, then having a great dream will be to
come out, just get out there and
approach a few women. No shame in that. If you are stuck banging those 6’s and
7’s and you can’t get those turbo hotties, then that’s your dream. It really
depends.
Number one reason people dream small and fail to rise is fear of failure. It is a classic. Because you fear being unsuccessful you set
your sights very low. Though this could be a great strategy to get out of
inaction, it hurts you when you are trying to motivate yourself. The bigger the
dream, the more fear you will have that it will fail. It is easier to stay in
comfort zone and keep doing what I am doing, which is nothing. Misery feels
comfy. You don’t want to stretch.
Explosive Sex with Your Girlfriend (Relationship advice)
It is not about new positions. It is about sexual
compatibility or connections. A combination of dieting, fitness can do it for
you. Find food that boosts a woman’s sexual arousal. A woman’s bodily response
to stimulation can be influenced through certain foods like shellfish, certain beans, almonds. Her
bodily response or libido, on the other hand, can be damaged by the wrong kind
of foods like chips, fatty stakes, hamburgers and so on.
How many times you have heard foreplay is important? Too many
times? You need to hear it again. It is far more important than penetration and
thrusting. If you have a little routine with her where you take her to seafood
restaurant for dinner, some wine and later great sex, she will respond in kind.
It is like Pablov’s dogs when they hear the dinner bell. As soon as you get her
to the restaurant, she will start to get wet already. You don’t even have to do
foreplay. Remember she values the relationship in as much as you are able to
bring her to orgasm consistently. Women value orgasm in the relationship so get
with it. Invest in sex toys if you must. Learn to back and forth with her.
Women tend to think you care for them if you do a bit of push and pull before
penetration. On the other hand, going straight forward into penetration makes
her think you don’t care about her. Think on that. After 3 years with my ex,
our sex life became mechanical and she would complain about it. I was too bored
to care at the time.
Do it regularly! The more you give it to her, the more she
would crave it. Her body gets used to it. Her libido will be boosted by more
regular sex. It is like eating chips. You can’t stop yourself from eating more
and more. It also means you care for her. She thinks she is attractive as long
as she can keep you interested. This is vital for her otherwise she would be
out there trying to get another guy’s attention. So watch out! Give it to her
in the car where she doesn’t expect it. Surprise her that way. It might be a
spin through hell for you to have sex while the gear stick is stabbing your
ribs but she will enjoy it. Women think you are being spontaneous when you do
crap like that. It means they are wanted. Girlfriends need to feel wanted…all
the time. It is a pain, I know. But you want your little girlfriend to be
faithful and think of your Johnson as the joystick of God, you need to do stuff
like that. Believe it is a small price to pay for home bliss. A happy,
satisfied girlfriend will enrich your life, but a grumpy, needy, unsatisfied
one will drive you nuts. Good luck!
Another related fear is to be afraid of the obstacle that
will appear in your way. You are afraid to hit that brick wall. Obstacle are a
prompt for you to get creative, not a bad thing at all. That’s where you grow. You wouldn’t grow if it wasn’t for obstacles. I hear guys say, for example, “I
live with my parents, that’s why I can’t pull girls back home”. Not having a
place to bring girls back to is the afore mentioned obstacle. You might want to
pull girls back to your car, to her house instead. It only means you have to
get better at pulling. An obstacle is not a reason to give up.
Furthermore, guys say usually, “well, I don’t have the
skills others have yet” so they set their sights in accordance to their skill
level. No way. You must dream before you have the skills. That’s how you get
the skills! If you don’t push yourself high enough you will never the skills
necessary. Watch those “feel good” movies where there is a team with no chance
to win full of losers and they end up beating the other “big bad team”. Those
movies are a crock. But they hold something of a truth in them. Those guys dare
to dream beyond their skill level. Guess what, it is like that in real life.
Prizes are for those who want them bad enough.
Some quick and dirty tips
If you are getting ready to put your dream goals on paper
the following might help you.
1.
Be wild. Imagine anything is possible. Push
yourself beyond the realm of the possible. It is not what’s happening to you now.
Those are your limitations. When it comes to mapping out your future, your
present doesn’t help a lot. Ask yourself, if you don’t like your present life
right now, are you really living?
2.
Think outside your circumstances. As a child you
were probably adviced by your parents not to be dreamer. As a result you became
a realist. The problem with realists is that they never accomplish anything
exciting. They cripple themselves with their “realistic” thinking. You must get
passed that and think out of the box. What society tells you it is possible for
you now is exactly what you must avoid. I have had 60 year old guys on program.
So what? They want what they want and they don’t care anymore at that age about
ridicule or what society thinks of them. That’s why they get it.
3.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with one
step…. One step at a time. All you have to worry about is what you need to do
today. Not the future. Don’t force your goal to happen. However, you take one
little step towards your goal every day. Your success depends more on
commitment and hard work than on anything else.
4.
Network. Build a network of people around your
dream. You don’t have to do this alone. You won’t do it alone. Other people
hold the pieces of your puzzle together for you. You need support. We all do.
Human beings are social beings for a reason, we associate to achieve what we
can not do by ourselves alone. Get supportive wings, join an internet forum,
create a social circle of like minded individuals. Where can you meet people on
the same path that you are? Go there and meet them.
5.
Make dreams specific and quantifiable. Big
dreams bring the most rewards. Why? Small goals anybody can do. A big dream
will test your stamina and determination. It will make you stretch. You know
you are dreaming big when you are uncomfortable. Make your dreams crystal clear
so there is no doubt in your mind as to where you are going. I remember Tim
from Rsd placing a picture of ripped abs on his mirror so he would look at it
every morning. He was dieting and working out to achieve those abs. After 8
weeks, his abs looked better than the ones in the picture. Magic. Most dreams
get lost in the clouds because they are murky and undefined. Your mind thinks
in images and quantities. Give your mind what it needs to succeed. Speak the
language of your mind.
But I want you to think bigger… Let’s get to the good stuff.
This is the story of the little engine that could or sort
of.
When the dream is big enough facts don’t count or so they
say. You might have done that one in your past without knowing it or being
fully aware. It is like when somebody tells you something is impossible.
Everybody tells you. Society seems to agree something is beyond the realm of
the possible like a woman playing major league baseball. However, as we know
from past experiences, it only takes one person to change the course of
history. Somebody told Edison he was an idiot. Somebody said Einstein was
crazy. We all know the stories. Facts don’t count as much as you think. History
teaches nothing. Statistics lie all the time.
Get yourself a bigger dream and let others laugh at you and
then set yourself in motion. If you aim for the moon and you land a couple of
stars, it is not a bad deal. Nobody will laugh then. It is about the journey, not
the destination. Once you embark on a certain journey, you already won. It is
just a matter of time before reality catches up with your dream.
I have found when I got I wanted, nobody cared except me. It
doesn’t matter who supported me or not, I was the one who lived through it and
got the growth. I was the one who struggled daily with fear and frustration. I
went trough the grief of being tested. I made it through and nobody could
believe it…except me. I did all the leg work. I had moments of huge doubt,
frustration and second guessing. But facts don’t count as much as you think. I
have had students on wheel chair, handicapped, and so on. It didn’t matter to
them. They seemed to take everything in stride. I have had healthy guys with
the worst attitude ever. It is all in the dream. I know I am sounding fruitcake
on this one but it is fruity. It is all corny. It doesn’t mean it is not true.
April 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
April 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
Decided to throw some infield here well knowing it is not going to satisfy everybody's needs but I just wanted to illustrate how I deal with guy's fears on program. Hope it will help you somehow to see where I am coming from. Again, these infield clips are NOT up to hotseat standards, just a fair warning, rather are used to illustrate points I make on my articles. Here we go, God save us all!
I will be next:
April 5-7, 2013: Belgrade, Serbia
April 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
April 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
I have been meaning to write an article about the topic of
the economics of sex. Much has been written about this on the mainstream media.
It has prompted several theories that are popular. Books like “The Selfish
Gene” spawned a generation of pickup weirdoes back in my day including me. The
logic and appeal of such theory was irresistible. I have changed my views since
then, quite a bit.
In the following article I am going to simplify the issue of
sexual relations to a ledger, a combination of checks and balances in the hope
you can understand certain behaviors. On a personal level I am trying to
revisit a topic that used to drive me crazy with questions. I don’t have all
the answers today, but just the important ones.
How true is it that men need sex more than women do? Society
deems women as sellers and men as buyers. If this is true then women have the
upper hand because we “need” them. They are a high valued commodity in economic
terms. If we take this assumption at face value, it explains why men are supplicators,
caretakers, providers and all that terminology we invented in this community a
long time ago. Yet still it doesn’t explain women’s behaviors
Women Control?
Women have something to lose when they offer us sex but for
us it is all win. That’s why women manipulate thru sexual behavior. We become
desperate sellers, a.k.a alpha guy. Women pick and choose because they have all
the money, a.k.a sex. With sex, women risk getting pregnant, pain and losing
their lives at child delivery. Men, on the other hand, walk away from the act
without further risk. It means sexuality for women has value, not for men. This
is why women aim for relationship, long term sustain of the new born baby and
the potential family, and men, well, go for the act and couldn’t care less for
the long term outcome. This is folk wisdom. No secrets here.
However,
If it is a straight forward transaction when does the value
go up or down?
In other words, it follows that there are ways in which you
could manipulate the prospective buyer...again giving all your power away in
the process.
Let’s look at how the value goes up in the sexual market
place. Let’s keep it simple.
1.
The woman is beautiful. (Skanks use cosmetics to
enhance their attractiveness so they have more choice-more buyers. Dim lights
in the club plus alcohol help the transaction to go smoothly.)
2.
The woman is young.(she is a better breeder
because she can stand child delivery better and her eggs are prime for
reproduction. Older women won’t reveal their age or lie about it)
3.
Guys are desperate to have sex. (It increases
the value of the woman regardless how suitable the product is in the market
place. A chubby girl becomes hot due to high demand. Reason why bitchy behavior
is rare among really attractive women.)
I am going to stick with number 3 to clarify why women
behave the way they do most of the time. There is the assumption wildly
accepted due to the number of chodes in clubs and bars that men want it more
than they do. Whether this is a lie spread by our culture it is irrelevant.
Women believe this because it is easy to believe that in our culture. Guys have
no game. There is another lie that is more predominant: men take it wherever
they can because they live in scarcity. Women, on the other hand, are free to
choose when and where and with as many partners as they please. It is a
seller’s market for them.
Female bitchy and aloof behavior can be explained by number
three above. However, sex with a valued male can be scarce, not abundant. So
women dress up for that valued male. On the other hand, guys make every effort
to become that valued male including lying about it. But women smell lies. They
are endowed with better communication skills than men. They have better
instinct in that area. When they become mothers they need to find out the
baby’s needs just by looking at the baby. So nature gives them that six sense.
They can read males like a book. They also pick and choose whoever is the real
Mac Coy.
“Your Girlfriend Is
Attracted to Other Guys?”(Relationship Advice)
Yes, deal with it!
She feels attracted to other guys but she won’t tell you.
She deals with it so should you. You might be living in fairy tale land where
your girl is yours only and she is your queen and you are her king. Sorry to
burst your bubble but it is not quite that way. Women feel attracted to other
guys all the time. They flirt, intrigue even text guys behind your back.
Fret not. You can’t stop this. Women are validation whores.
They want reassurance all the time they are still in the market, especially
when they have been with you for a couple of years. It doesn’t mean they will
run and cheat on you. If she values your relationship, she might feel urges but
she won’t act on them. Flirting is a woman’s way of getting reassured she is
still attractive. I remember my ex having this conversation on the phone with
some random clerk 1000 miles away from a carrier agency. She didn’t even know
what the guy looked like but she was flirting on the phone. She forgot I was
sitting right next to her. I accused her of flirting and she denied it. May be
she got carried away or simply she wanted to make me jealous. All I know is
that it was a wake up call for me to see where after three years of
relationship I have been dropping the ball somewhere. You might want to go over
where you have been failing as a boyfriend because you do have responsibilities
and you are not supposed to take her for granted.
Anyway, women feel attracted to other guys. It is a fact and
you are going to have to deal with it in a long term relationship. When I had
FB’s I couldn’t care less about what they did. Some of them even had
boyfriends. But once you get in a LTR
you lose part of your power. You don’t have the game to back you up. You only
have yourself unless it is an open relationship where you two are seeing other
people. You need a new set of skills to deal with a girlfriend. Giving her
great sex won’t cut it, not for long anyway.
What happens when your girl is attracted to another guy? She
is not really attracted to another guy but it is how he makes her feel. For
example, a rocker with tattoos, leather pants might make her feel the danger
aspect of a relationship. On top of that, if a guy like that throws her a bit
of attention she might feel validated that such guy wants her. Again, this is
something that she is missing herself in your relationship. May be you are
slacking off after a couple of years and you don’t surprise her anymore. You
don’t take her on dates like you used to. Sex has become stale (you never want
her to get all the sex she craves from you. Keep her slightly deprived. My ex
had to beg me for sex sometimes and still I would not give it to her. I wanted
her to earn it. I was the chick in the relationship! Attempted humor).Things are becoming quiet. So she is looking for
excitement elsewhere. Remember that she might be attracted to other guys but
she is in love with you. You are the guy. So you always have the upper hand
when you come up against competition. She is not inclined to risk what she has
going with you for some guy she just met. Women in general are nesters. They
won’t risk unless you give them a good reason. Again, it all comes down to
mindfulness. You want to pay attention to what’s going on in the relationship.
Prevention goes a long way. Keep doing things that show her YOU CARE, it is not
just her who cares about the relationship. Men pass the buck onto women for the
running of the relationship. Women get sick and tired they are doing all the
work. Change that! Be smart but don’t be a smart ass. You want to care but you
don’t want to be too obvious about it. Surprise is the factor. Throw her a
curve ball (attempted humor again).
What Lowers The Value
Of A Woman In The Sexual Marketplace?
Very simple, when the value of the man goes up, then women’s
value go down. The tables are turned. Status, for example, drives the woman’s
value down to the ground. When a male has high status, women’s value hit a low.
Consider the stereotype of the middle-aged CEO of the company banging the hot
secretary. Even though she is hot and could get any man in a club, she goes on
her knees in CEO’s office and performs fellatio risking her reputation and even
economic stability. Status wins every time. It doesn’t matter the guy’s
married, older and would never consider staying with her for the long term. He
drove her value down by becoming high status. She would put aside her bitchy
behavior and vow to the man with the most status. The illusion is that she
would get status and power by proxy even if it means people will drag her name
in the company’s water cooler gossip. It doesn’t matter because she is selling
and she got a good transaction. Economics of sex defined.
Another thing that dove tails value for women is
availability. In other words, places where men are scarce. Competition for men
drives the woman’s value down to the ground. For example, if you took a women’s
cruise where you are the only man around, you will get laid before the trip’s
end. This is not theoretically, it is a fact. One way or another you would
trigger competition amongst single women in the ship. It will be a buyer’s
market for you. You can buy at low price.
You can discard the above example as a simple minded one. It
is, indeed. How about when you are the only high valued male around? It happens
when you approach a group of girls in the club and you are able to trigger
competition amongst them by displaying certain personality traits. Some of
those characteristics can be faked too. You drive the price down. Sometimes you
can drive the women’s value down in an entire area of the club like the VIP
area or a section of the dance floor by just being social with people. It
happens very quickly and it doesn’t last very long but sometimes a few minutes are
all you need. It happens when I do my salsa dancing, and I am able to impress
with my dance moves. All of a sudden women want to dance with me and you create
a sort of feeding frenzy. You became scarce by being the best dancer around. Scarcity skyrockets your price up in the
market place.
Why Do Women Lose
Value When They Sleep Around But Men Don’t?
Their value goes down because the law of supply and demand
says that a commodity raises is value when it is in short supply. In other
words, it becomes valuable when it is scarce, like diamonds. This is why men
are not naturally attracted to ugly or fat women. There is huge supply of
those.
A woman having fewer boyfriends or not a long history of
sexual partners becomes valuable. She is less available. This is the reason why
women act bitchy or brat. They know a woman reluctant to offer sexual favors
instantly becomes higher value. This is why women try to hide when they have
too many sex partners. It drives their value down in the sexual market place.
So being a brat helps sell her product. It explains why average looking women
act brat in your regular club where there are no hot girls around. Plain
looking girls feel their price has gone up because of little competition; offer
is low and demand is high-that’s why it is easier to score in a hot club. A hot
club drives the price of average women down so you have more choice as a buyer.
Simple economics. Reason why the opposite is true for the guys. Sleeping around
might mean the guy is in high demand. It drives the value of a woman down. He
is not desperate so he won’t push for the buy, so the seller has to come down
with the price in order to sell. For some women, it means following the valued
guy into the toilet at the club to have sex there risking being seen and thus
driving her value down. The risk is worth it if she can have a shot at the
valued male. The situation is akin to that of the hot secretary performing
fellatio to the CEO in the office. If she got caught her value in the sexual
market place would go down but she doesn’t care because she thinks she will get
status by proxy.
Women hold back sex when they get into a dating pattern
because they want to drive the price up. It happens unconsciously. This is why
you want to prevent against getting into dating patterns. Typical dating
patterns include “the orbiter”, going on numerous dates, taking too many phone
numbers, “friend zone”, and many others. However, you drive their price down
when you say “I am no boyfriend material”, “I am bad for you” and other similar
lines. You become high value very quickly. Becoming unavailable, you drive the
price up by virtue of the market place dynamics. You become scarce. And you
drive hers down.
One Night Stands And
The Economics Of Sex
Women lured into one night stands by a player are pulled in
two different and conflicting directions. On the one hand she is attracted to
the guy and can gain an eligible male over her competition (other women) but
she is underbidding her price at a sexual market place level. She is risking a
lot by taking the plunge into the one night stand- I am talking about regular
girls and not club skanks who sleep around. This is why you see a lot of LMR
around because some women feel pulled in two different directions. This is the
reason a girl might be attracted to you but won’t sleep with you. She wants to
get a “good price” for her sexual favors and a one night stand offers the guy
the possibility to walk away without committing. A man only benefits but she
stands to lose in the transaction. Most women will exercise restraint and look
for safer options to offer sexual favors when/where they can guarantee a return
in terms of commitment from the guy unless you drive her price down with the
tactics offered above. By driving her price down you help her make that
decision of selling. The fire sale. All goods need to go. Bank is closing in.
You have that effect on a female when you give her full attention and then
switch to her friend and ignore her for a while. You are outbidding her. It
also happens by itself when the hottest girl in the group gives you her
undivided attention. All of a sudden you are in fire sale with the group’s
members. You successfully drove their price down.
Again, this topic is fascinating but boring too if talked
for too long. So I will stop here hoping you found it interesting. Again, I am
revisiting old topics here with the hope of bringing new light into them. No
matter how old the topic of value comes up every weekend on bootcamp. It never
goes away.
I am out, peace.
Comments welcome.
I will be next:
April 5-7, 2013: Belgrade, Serbia
April 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
April 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013:
London, United Kingdom
Hey guys,
Just came back from Berlin. What a party city! I feel great there. Berlin is a city
that accepts everybody, the most accepting city of all Europe in my opinion. No
wonder artists go there. It is kind of like New York but European style. I feel
welcome there. Even my weird FT drills don’t seem to freak out anybody. Lovely.
Again, long article and videos today at your disposals for comments, criticism
or/and fun.
I will be next:
March 29-31, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 5-7, 2013: Belgrade, Serbia
April 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
April 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
April 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
May 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
May 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
May 31-June 2, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
June 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
June 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
June 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
July 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
July 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
July 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
August 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
August 23-25, 2013: Amsterdam,Netherlands
August 30-September 1, 2013: London, United Kingdom
September 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
How to know you are going in the right direction in your
game? How do we make sure you are doing the right things and you are
progressing? How can you guarantee you have put your ladder against the right
wall so you get to the right place? When to change? Should you be tuning your
path in the game or simply go back to the drawing board and start over?
Deep questions that need to be answered. Let’s explore some
of this here.
It takes attention to detail and listening to your inner
self to find out. Continuous practice will make you better at recognizing when
you are doing things wrong or you are headed in the wrong direction. Let’s look
at the indicators of things going wrong.
. Looking at the next guy for motivation otherwise called
“keeping up with the Jonses”. Compare
and despair. You are going down the wrong road. Why? What works for him
might not work for you. If a guy is shy, he will attract women that find his
introvert personality as a mystery to explore. On the other hand, you might
have a different personality type. You might be extrovert and cheerful. So you
wonder why it doesn’t work when you try to imitate your shy friend’s game.
That’s an indication you are on the wrong track. Again, what’s my advice? What
are your strengths? Are you focusing on them? How can we bring them up and use
them. If you are extrovert, how about opening bigger groups? You might profit
from bigger exposures to more women at once. While your shy friend works the
little two set in the corner, you might want to work the big group in the
middle of the dance floor. Food for thought.
. You might want to turn around and start over again if you
see signals that something doesn’t feel
right. For example, if you don’t have the energy to go out, it might be
because you are depleting your energy in the field as opposed to amplifying.
“Are you having fun in the club?”, “Does going out feel like an adventure?”,
“Are you excited the next day when you wake up and are ready to do it again?”
If you answer “rarely” or “not often” or “sometimes” to the above questions.
You might be on the wrong path in your game. Personally, in my first two years
on this game, I was so motivated to go out that I would use my vacation time
from my job to pickup girls. What are you doing wrong? You might have to go
back to the drawing board and explore your actions and attitudes. Average
issues that affect motivation in this game are outcome dependence and fear.
Outcome dependence means you are out for results, not for growth and progress.
You depend on women’s validation to feel good about yourself. Fear of rejection
can be a factor too in motivation. You spend all your energy trying not to be
rejected. It takes a lot of muscle to keep people liking you all night. By the end
of the night, you feel like you ran a marathon. You don’t want to go out again.
Coming back into your path might include finding a reason to go out beyond
outcomes and/or cold hard numbers. You might have started on the right path,
having fun and somewhere down the line you took the wrong turn to outcome
dependence. Investigate, ask questions, and be curious about your intentions
when you are in the field. Low self-esteem means only liking yourself when you
do things right. You must love your mistakes too. You must understand in the
growth process mistakes count as much -if not more- as successes. Check it out,
now. “Love thyself”.
. Another wrong path is
looking back while all the time not seeing what’s in front of you. You care
too much about what happen yesterday. You only see that horrible night you had
at the club, while failing to see that your present night could be amazing. You
don’t know that yet. By focusing on the past, you make sure you ruin your
present. You might want to fine tune your vision and accept whatever happened,
happened and you can’t change it. You want to focus on tonight’s night. Fear is
your biggest obstacle against success. Telling you “what if,”, “I should have
done this or that instead”, “I would have...” and so on. Forever dialoguing
with yourself about the past will destroy your chances now. Remember the saying
“Life is what happens when you are busy making plans” or something. The way out
of fear is putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes getting to the
club is enough. You just take that step and you meet a girl on the line to the
club. Just a small step at a time. Most of your anxiety is self-created. There
is nothing to be afraid of. All those catastrophic scenarios don’t happen.
. You need a carrot
to keep your game going. You can’t go out for going out’s sake. This is when
you know you are in the wrong path. When you are in the right path you feel
good all the time. You have extra energy for everything. You don’t need huge
rewards. Think of things you enjoy doing and consider the fact you need no
reward to do them. If you are in the wrong path you won’t feel like doing
anything unless you see a payoff.
If you have challenges in your way, it doesn’t mean you are
in the wrong path. In fact, it often means the opposite. You are never getting there in a straight line. There will be
detours on your way. So stop whining and embrace the obstacles you have as part
of your journey. Making huge mistakes doesn’t mean you are wrong. It just means
you are walking. A big part of my teaching philosophy is to make guys make
mistakes when they approach. They learn not to avoid risky situations and
benefit from them. They lose their fear of failure.
What to Buy your Lover (relationship advice)
Let’s face it, you will have to break down and buy some
stuff for your girlfriend at some point. There comes a time when you have to
come down from your alpha high horse and do regular boyfriend stuff whether you
like it or not, if you want a true long term relationship. You might as well
get some “relationship game” here too. In other words you want to be smart
about it.
Let’s skip the expensive jewelry, shoes and all the fancy Champaign
dinners and dig in the real deal. Learn what women do and shop for/really care
about. Even if this is a bit gay you want to listen here because what sounds
gay might be the best thing to do for your sex life with your couple. Let’s not
talk about the obvious like women like shoes and lingerie. Let’s move into
territory of what can be wonderful gift for her when you can spare the cash and not break the bank. Simple stuff that
will benefit your relationship.
Three bullets coming at you.
a)
Studies show women can spend as high as 40
percent of their monthly income on their personal grooming. Looking good is of
high priority. Pedicure and manicure
seem to run high in women’s shopping list. My ex use to go twice a month to a
manicure near our apartment. You might want to get your girlfriend a bunch of
session’s worth of luxury manicure and pedicure. It could be a great birthday
gift for the same price of a bottle of expensive perfume. She might reward you
with that extra bonus sex you wanted (you know, that kinky thing you asked but
she refused).
b)
What is it with women and Pilates, uh?
Seriously, I am asking (attempted humor). Women
spend on Pilates. There is this hype that is both healthy for your body and
also relaxing. Pilate’s classes can run high in cost but you might to do a bit
of research and find affordable ones. It would not hurt you that much
financially to throw a month’s worth of Pilate’s sessions for her. Remember
that this is an investment, not an expense. You are investing in your own home
life bliss.
c)
Massage. Women love it. Buy her some deep muscle
massage sessions. Again, make sure the masseuse is either gay or woman. You
want to make sure. Unblocking her body’s
chakras releases sexual energy. You don’t want her to be around some other
guy when that happens. Again you can use her extra sexual energy in the bedroom
for your pleasure. You see where I am going with this; I had a plan all along (again
some attempted humor).
Use the above at your own peril. Use common sense when you
buy stuff for your girlfriend. Make sure you do it when it is appropriate. You
know, timing is everything. Birthdays and couple anniversaries are ideal to
deliver and show you care. Alternatively, you might want to use the above
suggestions as reconciliation tools when you had a fight or you screwed up in a
major way. Reconciliations are a huge part of the relationship. Women love
reconciliations because women love drama.
You might want to become an expert on them. Furthermore, as men as we are we
make stupid mistakes all the time and women need patience to deal with us.
That’s what gifts were meant for.
Key Things To Pay Attention On your Path
To know you are on the right path you must start paying
attention to your inner world. It has the key. You know you are right when you
feel a sense of freedom and contribution to your life when you go out. In other
words you feel that you are growing. Another way to know you are on the right
is when you feel you are learning a lot about yourself. You are not only
approaching women in a club but you are in a self-discovery process. You don’t need a carrot in front of you.
The carrot will happen anyway and you know it if you keep grinding your path.
In other words, motivation comes from inside, not outside. You also feel
positive about going out, not fearful. Somehow you have broken through your
maze of fears and now you are beyond fear. Going out feels like and adventure,
not a torture.
Anyway, this is all folks. Sign offs are not my forte. So, I
am out. See you next time.
How can anybody can do this and cheat their way into success? It
might help others far down the learning curve too. Quick and dirty tricks to
seduce a girl you can use right now. I was asking myself how to create this
hacking stuff for guys that are new. It might result in motivation to go out
and keep practicing. So I am going to prescribe the very outer game stuff you
might want to focus on. Again, fair warning for those guys who are advanced or
too serious about this game. This article might not be for you. Again aren’t
you tired already of all the hard work of being a super alpha male and all that
jazz? Why not have some fun instead. Be a hack for a while. I love hacking
around because I am always too damn serious and perfectionist. Hacking
challenges me.
However, you might want to go over this even if you have been in
the game for a while. Some of this stuff you might be passing up as too obvious
but it works if you practice it consistently.
1.Flirting: it can happen in
different ways. However, you want to project alpha male characteristics right
away to the woman. If you are able to project or “fake” alpha male vibes on to
women you don’t even have to work that
hard. When you flirt with her make sure you use it as an opportunity to
reenact desirable traits like confidence, calm, fun and so on. Cheap and dirty
way of doing that is through body language, you must know it is far more
effective than verbal flirting. Use old school techniques like “leaning back”
when she talks to you so it looks to her she is seducing you and not the
opposite. Use quick “cut aways” as signs of “you might not be interested in
her”. You do cut aways by turning around and angling away from her when she is
talking to you or simply giving her your back slightly as you talk to her
friends. Do this on “high points” because she is more likely to chase more when
she is having fun with you. In old days we used to cross our arms when we were
talking with women as a way of pushing them away but also as a way of becoming
a challenge for her. You want to uncross them when she is doing what you want
as a way of reinforcing positive behavior. You might hack your way into her
pants this way without going to seduction school. Try it.
2.The boyfriend line. Ask her about
her boyfriend. “You here with your boyfriend? I don’t want to get beat up for
hitting on you tonight”. Not only you are being cocky but also showing you are
vulnerable. Women eat that shit up all the time. On the other hand you can
screen girls that have boyfriends that way so you don’t want to waste time.
This line, on the other hand, my turn and bite you in the ass if the girl
doesn’t like you. So, use with caution. Again, this is quick and dirty stuff
that can get you laid but it could turn on you. So use at your own peril.
3.The old school “push and pull”
technique. At a verbal level you can agree with something right away but
immediately back off from it. done properly this technique can amplify interest
in you. For example, “You are my next girlfriend”, “Wait, Can you cook?”, “No,
we are broken up now”. Many women might fall for this and you might cheat your
way into bed with some of them without being a superman seducer. Again, cheap
and dirty. It works because it artificially creates sexual tension between you
and her. Some gullible women might interpret that as a sign of attraction and
they just follow it like puppy dogs. Women, especially the needy ones, are on
high alert for signs of the “right guy” coming along. If you trigger sexual
pursuit, you might fool her into thinking you are the one. Getting laid can be
like scoring in a playground football match. You don’t know how it happened but
you did it.
4. Avoid being too predictable. For example, she
asks “what do you do”, and you go, “I am a computer programmer who has recently
been promoted to head of the regional branch…bla, bla, bla”. You might make a
great presentation but you are being too logical which brings the interaction
down. Long story short, she says “what do you do?”, you say, “Guess”. Simple
enough. You just became a challenge for her. Remember, quick and dirty. Women
fall for that crap. You might want to remain a mystery to her. I strongly
recommend this if you feel you are boring when you talk to women and
interactions die down on you all the time. I used to tell girls to guess my age
all the time. I believe some slept with me just to find out how old I was. They
were never happy when they heard my real age. I used to tell them when I met
them I was 19.
The ABC of a Better Relationship(relationships)
How can you get away with a lot by doing very little in the
relationship. Some of the stuff you can do it is so obvious that it is insane.
However if you did it, you will get away with a lot in the relationship and you
can have an impact on her happiness which will translate into a better life for
you and also in the sack.
a)Do the opposite. If she is mad,
don’t be mad back. Be the opposite, be cheerful and understanding. Most women find intensity in brawling with
you. if you are the opposite, You passed the test. You will see her drive for
drama going down because you showed her you can handle her emotionally. That
will translate into you taking control and leading her. When she doesn’t want
to talk to you, do the opposite. Talk to her. Engage her. Listen. Be there for
her. If you do the opposite, you might increase her trust in you. When she is
crazy, that’s when you have to be the opposite, be reasonable back. It takes
practice but you will get it.
b)Today women hold jobs and also,
if you live together, she might also come home tired and has to do all the
house work. Either share the housework or hire a cleaner. It will do wonders
for your couple life. You will have more time for each other plus the house
will be in order. If you can spare the cash, hire a cleaner. Do your shopping
on the internet and have it delivered. Don’t spend an afternoon shopping for
groceries when you can be taking her somewhere nice. Having so much leisure
time, will have an effect on your sex
life. The energy she doesn’t spend on doing the menial chores she can spend on
pleasuring you.
c)Bringing your problems to bed.
Most couples avoid issues until they have a fight and then they dump
emotionally on each other. Fights usually happen around bed time and around the
bed. So, settle issues outside the bedroom. It will improve your sex life. Take
your girlfriend to a coffee shop for neutral ground. Pay attention to what she
says there. A public place guarantees she won’t run into the bedroom or
bathroom and shut you out. She won’t make a scene either. So you listen to her
calmly and she feels heard. When she feels heard she won’t act out and you will
have conflict resolution in no time. This way you guarantee the problems will
not spill into your sex life at bed
time.
Hacking your way into her pants(continued)
5.Telling women “I hate you” might
work for you. Let me explain. Women lose interest once they find out you like
them. Why not go the other way? Quick and dirty. Tell them “tongue in cheek”
you hate them for something they said. You might want to follow up with “I love
you” for something else they did or said. They never know whether you like them
or not. Keep them guessing! It works. Some women fall for that. You might score
quick and dirty this way.
6.Simple text messaging. Again I
don’t want to complicate this. So you got a phone number from a girl and you
might to text her with something quick without being too obvious. Women eat
that crap up. Say you are in bed late and you text her, “lazy today”. It is an
invitation for her to ask “why”. You can alternatively say “about to watch this
amazing movie in my computer”. You leave it like a comment but it is really an
invitation. Women pick up the subtext. Remember you don’t want them to think
that it is your idea but theirs to sleep with you. you might find that many
women jump at the opportunity and text back “can I come?”. It happens. Make sure you do this late in the evening so
if they come they know what’s about to happen. That’s how you transform a booty
call into manipulation into going to bed with you. Women like it to be their
idea coming over to see you. basically you are making it her choice to sleep
with you. Again this is not solid game but it might work on a quick and dirty
way.
Again i hope you might have found some quick ways to get laid in
this article if you are starting off but also, as an advanced guy, you might
think you are over the simple and easy stuff. My perfectionist side is not
proud of this article but I needed to write it for my sanity.
I am so out of here. hope you enjoyed the video and the article.
Comments and criticism is welcome as usual.
------------------------- I will be next:
BootcampMarch 1-3, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMarch 8-10, 2013: Stockholm, Sweden
BootcampMarch 15-17, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampMarch 22-24, 2013: Berlin, Germany
BootcampMarch 29-31, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampApril 5-7, 2013: Belgrade, Serbia
BootcampApril 12-14, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampApril 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg,
Russia
BootcampApril 26-28, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampMay 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
BootcampMay 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMay 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United
Kingdom
BootcampMay 31-June 2, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampJune 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
BootcampJune 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJune 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
BootcampJune 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJuly 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
BootcampJuly 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJuly 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
BootcampJuly 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampAugust 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
(Instructor: Ozzie)
BootcampAugust 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada,
USA
(Instructor: Ozzie)S
BootcampAugust 16-18, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampAugust 30-September 1, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampSeptember 27-29, 2013: Athens, Greece
Igniting Change.
I want to deal with this “winning is not for me” attitude in
pickup because it is an area that keeps haunting me in my programs with my
clients and also in other areas of my life like relationships.
I keep coming up against blocks for not wanting to win at
being happy. So I want to explore it. When I was ready to succeed in pickup I
just did. It happened naturally. However in other areas it keeps resisting.
Half trying is self-sabotage. You want to spot it if you
want to win big. If you just approach and bail as soon as things don’t go your
way you are killing your opportunities to succeed. If you find yourself bailing
too much out of interactions you are self-destroying. You don’t want to win.
Change is too scary. You rather stay as you are.
How can we change for real, not half ass attempts? What does
it take?
Spotting, the greatest tool!
Spotting patterns takes the cake! Finding when you are
avoiding disappointment and thus perpetuating it. Self-defeating patterns need
to be uprooted and brought to awareness. So if you find yourself avoiding
feeling frustrated, you got a winner. Because just by keep doing it you are
indirectly enabling it. Avoiding situations that might because you stress and fear
are responsible for you staying as you are. It kills change.
Change activator: Throw yourself mercilessly in those
interactions that have potential to frustrate you. You want to look around the
club for those groups that you don’t want to go into, and step into them! You
will find out that, a) you not only rarely get frustrated by them but also you
get excited, and b) if your frustration flairs up is never as bad as your head
imagined. Practice this also outside the realm of cold approaching. Try those
things you have been procrastinating that can potentially because you stress
but also can be rewarding like signing up for a gym.
Various change activators
“Stop avoiding avoidance”. Stop whatever you are not doing.
This can be a great igniting device for your fire-change. If you want to set
your change motivators on fire, you need to stop “not doing”. What is it that
you are not doing? Then, stop it. You don’t go to clubs because they scare you.
Stop doing that. You approach half assed. Stop doing that! You rather stay home
and play video games than going out. Stop doing it. You don’t tell girls you
are grade-A nerd for the fear of being rejected. Stop doing that!
In other words you want to become proactive about
identifying your avoidance/procrastinating patterns and do the opposite.
Remember your mind wants you safe but sorry. You want success you must go
beyond the mind.
Boost her Self Esteem(relationship advice)
If you have a girlfriend with low self esteem, it is very
annoying. She might need constant reassurance from you and it will drive you
crazy. As a man you are bent on things that females don’t give a shit about.
Women don’t give importance to the same things that men do. In other words, if
you are a real guy, you won’t be able to see what she cares about even if she
rubbed it on your face. I will give you a few pointers. Remember a happy
girlfriend makes your life better. A grumpy girlfriend makes your life a living
hell. Bad news is that you can’t solve the problem of low self esteem for her
anymore than you can make another person happy. Happiness and high self-esteem
is up to the person. However you can do things to patch you up so you are not
miserable around her.
1. Notice her! Things like new hairdo’s, nails, new
cloth…all that female crap. Yeah, that! Notice it and compliment her on it.
Women bitch all the time that men don’t notice them. You must know that she
does all that to please you and make you attracted. She might identify your
neglect as a sign of rejection or that you lost interest in her. Very dangerous
stuff.
2.
Reduce criticism. If she has low self worth,
your criticism will be received as a form of rejection. Be easy on her which
doesn’t mean let her get away with things. Instead of saying, “you suck at
this..” say, “You could do this differently, here is how…”
3. Acknowledge her by taking her to dinner. You
might want to pickup the check on this one. Make sure it is not a cheap place.
My ex had this thing about cheese cake, new york style. For some reason, even
if I just took her for cheese cake, she would think I was acknowledging her and
her needs were important to me. She loved her cheese cake even if the dinner
was not that expensive. Problem was that good cheese cakes, the ones she liked,
were quite expensive and she knew all the expensive places where they served
them. Honestly, it was worth the money because I had a happy girl for the next
couple of days…until she forgot about it and I had to do it again.
Another Change Activator
“The propaganda machine”, I call it. Activate the positive
propaganda machine. Your mind has a very strong negative propaganda machine and
tells you gloom and doom things all the time like “I will suck in the next
approach”, “she won’t like me anyway so what’s the point of approaching”, “she
will think I am weird”, and so on. It kills your chances for success. Why? Your
mind wants to stop you from approaching because it perceives rejection as a
threat. So be it.
I will create my own propaganda machine to counter act my
mind. I will repeat to myself slogans like “I can do this poorly but I feel
great for doing it” (Perfectionists), “Progress, not perfection” (if you are a
perfectionist), “I am ok by just talking with girls without an outcome” (if you
find it hard to approach).
By regurgitating positive messages you bring balance to the
negativity your mind will bring by way of your fears. This balance can be
difference between absolute success and active avoidance. When I am having
trouble editing or creating a new video blog I replay other video blogs I have
made in the past. It seems like reminding myself of past successes helps me in
my present challenges.
Keeping images of past successes no matter how miniscule can
catapult you to action. Images are very powerful to bring the mind’s propaganda
machine to its knees. I always conjure an image of a situation where I pulled
the last set of the night (two girls) back to their apartment and banged one of
the girls on the sofa. I did this after a horrible night of sucking everywhere
and already accepting defeat. One last set, all it takes. Remember active avoidance
is the enemy. I also keep images around of when I was ripped and working to get
back in shape. I tell myself if I did it once I can do it again, no matter the
many negative slogans my mind tells me.
Maintaining a façade
Maintaining an appearance of normality kills the
possibilities to change. You present an image to the world and you try to keep
it shiny. It is difficult to exert change when you have decided to keep
appearances. In all probability, you might have unconsciously built a self-image
in this area of your life that doesn’t serve you anymore or keeps you safe but
sorry. You go to a club and pretend to be happy when you are not. Dismissing
the fact that you suck. Pretending that active avoidance is ok. Get mad at this
behavior. It is harder to succeed when you are maintaining something you are
not. On the other hand, don’t bark at people because it is not their fault you
don’t succeed. Instead focus on change itself. Aim at that façade of normalcy
from inside and blow it to pieces by taking action.
So far that protection of your ego worked but it has stopped
if it makes you increasingly unhappy. It needs to go. Another thing, it takes
lots of your energy to pretend. By the time the night is over your reserves are
depleted because of all the hard work it takes to keep up appearances. When you
decide to pinch the balloon of your ego, you will experience relief and hit a
gusher of energy. You won’t know what to do with so much energy.
That’s it. I am so out. Comments are welcome. Loving your
input.
I will be next:
BootcampMarch 1-3, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMarch 8-10, 2013: Stockholm, Sweden
BootcampMarch 15-17, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMarch 22-24, 2013: Berlin, Germany
BootcampMarch 29-31, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampApril 5-7, 2013: Belgrade, Serbia
BootcampApril 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampApril 19-21, 2013: St. Petersburg, Russia
BootcampApril 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMay 10-12, 2013: Dublin, Ireland
BootcampMay 17-19, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampMay 24-26, 2013: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
BootcampMay 31-June 2, 2013: London, United
Kingdom
BootcampJune 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, Sweden
BootcampJune 14-16, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJune 21-23, 2013: Barcelona, Spain
BootcampJune 28-30, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJuly 5-7, 2013: Vienna, Austria
BootcampJuly 12-14, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampJuly 19-21, 2013:Cologne,Germany
BootcampJuly 26-28, 2013: London, United Kingdom
BootcampAugust 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
(Instructor: Ozzie)
BootcampAugust 9-11, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
(Instructor: Ozzie)S
BootcampAugust 16-18, 2013: London, United Kingdom
First I will give you a check list. If you tick more than 3
boxes my might qualify just like me as a mild-to-hard case depending on the
day. You might want to look into solutions. Let’s review, shall we?
1.
I feel threatened when i am in a good mood, too
excited or feeling too successful.
2.
I often say I have goals and huge ambitions but
don’t do what I need to do to get them.
3.
I feel threatened by changes even when they are
for my own good.
4.
I don’t like to be around people and isolate
because I feel I don’t fit in or belong.
5.
I often feel like I am not qualified or unfit to
carry out a task.
6.
I don’t want people to help me and resent them
when they do.
7.
I sometimes let others get away with stuff at
the expense of my well-being. I sacrifice myself so others are happy.
8.
I feel life is unfair and I don’t get the
opportunities others get.
I can go on but this is just a short article. So this is
just a taste of what it looks like to be addicted to bad emotions.
People in this category keep a perpetual cycle of negative
emotions. You can’t get out because most of your actions are directed at
reinforcing it rather than getting out of it. it is a little bit like the cycle
of fear, you avoid situations you are scared of thus sustaining unconsciously
your dread of them. If you were to expose yourself to those situations the fear
cycle will come to an end. It works paralleled when your cycle relates to
familiar “down” feelings. You keep adding fuel to the fire by the very actions
you are taking.
For example, if you think the world is unfair you will go
out into society and find evidence to support your bleak vision of the world.
You will be in a club and a girl dismisses you, you will conclude that ALL
WOMEN are mean and so on.
Order and chaos enwraps the world but you must look harder.
Things can be as bad as you think. Like I used to read but never believed,
“there is nothing world with the world”. If you look closer you will pickup
your disempowering patterns of behavior and feel strong about changing them.
Patterns, patterns
Why is it so important to identify patterns? Well, first of
all, once you identify a problem you can solve it. if a problem remains
unidentified it might fester forever.
So what are those self damaging patterns that keep you in
this state of misery? Where do they come from? Why do we keep them around?
Those are some of the questions you must ask if you are to
get out of self-induced pain.
If you look at how these patterns work you will find that no
single straw breaks your back but many. You will encounter as you unmask them
one by one that you might be infested with termites. One termite, such a small
insect, can’t do nothing but a whole bunch of them can bring your house down.
negative thoughts operate in a bunch. Sometimes you might have 3 or 4 operating
at once. You don’t stand a chance when that happens. Together they are strong.
If you separate them, they are just weak and you can remove them in a jiffy.
For example, I look at a girl and go, “she won’t like me,
she is too hot, I will look weird if I speak to her.” That’s three negative
thinking patterns all roll into one. Enough for you to paralyze and get your
approach anxiety. Your body is getting ready to “fight or flight” so you don’t
stand a chance. Your anxiety got to you. I takes away your resources. Most of us don’t
have the capabilities to know when we are handing our power away to others. It
happens without our awareness. That’s why most people go through life in a
haze.
Perfectionism
revisited
You can carry one or two straws with you into the approach.
You don’t need to clear all your negative thinking patterns for your approach
to succeed. Don’t let one or two patterns discourage you. by the end of the
approach, they might have left you anyway. As a matter of fact, some of your
negative thinking patterns might never leave you. they are part of your dna.
Stay with them, they are like birth marks, they become smaller with time.
however, don’t obsessed over being pure positive. We never are 100 percent
anything. And that’s a comforting thought. Because it doesn’t matter what goes
through your head you still can make the
approach. In fact, there is nothing more rewarding than proving your negative
predictions wrong, even half wrong. You can’t predict the future. Life would be
too boring you knew what would happen. Who wants to live a groundhog day.
You want to know my stinky thought patterns like the palm of
your hand. You want to know yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Ok here we go.
You want to feel miserable because it is all you know.
misery is familiar, the unknown is too threatening. Better to be miserable and
unhappy because you know it all too well. Excited and happy are unfamiliar even
unsettling. So when you feel good, you think somebody is going to steal it away
from you. So you make yourself feel bad on purpose because you feel in control
in misery. Happiness feel out of control. Have you found yourself and then
fucking it all up by “accident”? it happens all too often that guys who are
addicted to misery deny themselves by missing the winning shot. You have seen
this in sports. A footballer manages to dribble his way past the defense only
to miss the winning goal when all he had to do was push it in. Pressure got to
him in the last yard. Losing is the easy way out. Winning takes responsibility.
In pickup, a guy does everything well until he is about to
pull a girl at the end of the night. The girl is ready to go and he is ready to
go. Friends come out of nowhere and scoop the girl away from him. Bad luck. I
don’t think so. That’s why pulling game is different from opening game or flash
game or “look, I made out with 4 girls today game”. Pulling game is real game.
it takes a real winner to pull one night stands consistently. It takes
dedication. You must become a winner at heart. You must figure out all the
angles and proactively work on the long game. Most girls won’t go home with you
unless they feel they can trust you. You can’t con girls into trusting you. short
term you can though. But they eventually will see through you. You must become
truly confident. That’s why back in the day, success was measured by the girls
you pulled week in week out not by the girls you approached or made out with.
Unless you put a whole bunch of lay reports on the board, nobody will respect
your opinion. I remember putting up a couple lay reports on the board and Jlaix
will post a lay and a threesome and steal my thunder. True competition. But
that was the old school, we have come a long way. With the expansion of the
community, things got murky. But I won’t
complain. In many other ways we are doing better than in the old days. In some
ways, you live to see the dismembering of the old codes. It will take years before
the pendulum swings back to the old.
Only people who want
to win can focus for long periods of time. When you first start you think it is
all about approaching and getting those kiss closes. To consistently pull you
need to become successful for real. It is the difference between the long con
and the short con. Long con thieves are artists, specialists at their craft.
They work all the angles proactively. I am a huge fan of the franchise Ocean’s
eleven. They are masters of the long con and they work through the nooks and
crannies of a robbery even the disgusting ones but they also dominate the short
con when they need it. they make sure they don’t self sabotage. Back to misery.
If you want to fuck up on purpose because you feel to excited because you won a
battle but lost the war. You really didn’t want to win the war. You want to
perpetuate the general idea that life is bad and you have no chance because it
is all you know. Lucky coincidences happen for guys who want to win. The universe
aligns itself with them. It also works the other way around.
Watch out for the
following patterns
. Expecting the worse pattern: you are totally unfamiliar with what success looks like and so you
expect failure. Expectations are always negative and pessimistic. You live by
“Prepare for the worst” motto. “Most things go wrong”. There is no reason to
expect things to work.
. Captain of the
universe pattern: most times you feel powerless over events in your life.
As a result you are determined to get as much control as possible. You don’t
want to appear powerless. As a result you isolate and don’t become social. You
can be the king of your little kingdom at home.
. Misery, my friend
and ally pattern: when you don’t have misery you miss it. you get to feel
uncomfortable when you don’t feel down. You are dependent on it. it is like a
drug. You feel right at home. You feel uncertain when you don’t have it, like
something is missing.
Some Quick Solutions
1. Identify
patterns: understand your misery’s addictive power. Be aware of your
debilitating thought patterns. Miserable thinking is a large part of it. So
whenever your mind is giving you a hard time, spot it and be aware. You can stop it just by spotting it because eventually you will see that it is not really helping you but sabotaging you.
2. No more
video games: identify the things you do to get out of misery. There is usually
two or three things that you do and substitute them for healthy habits. Instead
of masturbating to porn, go to the gym. Instead of play station, approach one
girl. Tell yourself you won’t play until you approach that girl at the gym. You cansubstitute an old habit for a new one. If you don't do the substitution work and stick by it, you will slide back into the old one eventually.
3. Get out
of isolation: risk failing. If you don’t take risks to get out of your
comfort zone, you wont succeed. Most guys addicted to misery are really trying
to control their environment. They rarely venture out of comfort zone. Make a
commitment to risk yourself into scary situations. Practice fear technology,
you know, Ozzie’s brainchild. (attempted humor, but seriously)
How To Give her More
Pleasure (Relationship Advice)
Sometimes it is confusing for guys whether you are giving
your partner vaginal or clitoris sex. Some say target the G spot or whatever
that is. Others say focus on the clit. Not good either. Don’t worry about those
two things. Women are all different and worrying too much will bring down your
performance as well as your enjoyment. Remember to give her pleasure in the
sack and she won’t go anywhere. She will be in your pocket. Know your girl.
Some simple rules for double targeting your girl.
1.
Women enjoy variety. So, don’t be all bent on
thrusting and slip out your shaft and massage her clit once in a while with
your weenie. Don’t be all about pushing and heaving because they get used to it
and then it is not exciting anymore.
2. Check out positions that cover both clit and
vaginal sex. Like kneeling and riding her right leg while holding the other one
over your shoulder. In this case she would be lying on her side. In this case
you have access to the vaginal as well as you have your hands free to work her
clit.(smart choice and also you get some amazing sensation in your butthole.
Ok, my bad. No gay shit.)
3.
Another good thing to try is have her stimulate
her clit against your leg while you penetrate. You can do the reverse cow girl
with one knee up instead of having both legs lying down. She will hold that
knee as she straddles you in reverse position. Now all she has to do is rub
herself against your thigh for her clit and also ride your Johnson while you
penetrate her.
Anyway, keep her happy at the bedroom and otherwise and you
will have a puppy for girlfriend.
This is embarrassing to talk about this sex shit but I think
I am doing my best. You guys can feed me back if you don’t like it anyhow.
I am so out of here…have fun, guys.
Comments, criticism, anything, welcome….
I will be next:
BootcampMarch 1-3, 2013: London, United KingdomSign-Up
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BootcampApril 26-28, 2013: London, United KingdomSign-Up
BootcampMay 10-12, 2013: Dublin, IrelandSign-Up
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BootcampMay 31-June 2, 2013: London, United KingdomSign-Up
BootcampJune 7-9, 2013: Gothenburg, SwedenSign-Up
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BootcampJuly 19-21, 2013:Cologne,GermanySignup
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BootcampAugust 2-4, 2013: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
(Instructor: Ozzie)Sign-Up
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(Instructor: Ozzie)Sign-Up
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Posting this two-part article from Tallinn, Estonia.
Came all the way here through snow storms and delayed flights. I aim to shoot a
video tomorrow. Let’s see how is the weather. Decided to cut this article in two because it was too long.
Been running programs with Alex
back in London. Lots of crazy stuff happening. Not really. Feeling good though
about travelling here. We will see how the weekend goes.
Comments are welcome as well as criticism. Hope you enjoy the article.
Here's the schedule for 2013
February 15-17 Amsterdam
February 22-24 London
March 1-3 London
March 8-10 Dublin BC
March 15-17 London BC
March 22-24 Berlin BC
March 29-31 London BC
Conventional wisdom says women are complicated but are they?
Always thought who cares about what women think. When you are cold approaching,
you really focus on getting the next approach on the way and getting laid. In
fact worrying too much about what women think of you can land you in a whole
lot of trouble in the field. But bear with me with the following patterns
because it might answer some of your life time questions about female
psychology. On the other hand there are some you might want to avoid for your
own safety. If you don’t want to end up banging a chick that will eventually
become a stalker and show up at your door unannounced at three, harass your Facebook
account, or meet your mom “accidentally” in the supermarket (boil your pet
rabbit in a pot), you better listen.
Actually what’s happening these women are trying to draw you
in for their own purposes. You might want to learn who they are by spotting how
they operate in social situations.
Let’s talk about common types.
1. The Psycho: She is not hard to spot. For a quick
understanding, I refer you to that famous movie where this psycho woman boils a
white pet rabbit in a pot, can’t remember the title. They look like they are
doing nothing wrong but they are actually reeling you in. Once they get you in
their nets, they will exploit you for their psychopathic needs. An obvious one
is the secretive woman. If you go on a day two and she is compulsively checking
the phone, you got a live one. And if you ask her what she is checking all the
time she refuses to tell you or dodges the topic, she is keeping secrets from
you. She won’t share her life with you it means she is hiding probably a bunch
of guys she is dating beside you or her Facebook account with 200 “friends” in
it. Another behavior you want to spot is the super needy. She would be super
clingy, calling, texting you all the time and demanding your attention.
Sometimes they are crybabies. They cry if you don’t pay attention to them just
like a baby does. If they do, it means they have learned to play the
“desperate” game to get their way. They know most men have a soft spot for
women who cry. So they use it to get their way. A third “psychic ward” case is
those women that are way too compliant. They go the extra mile to please you
and it seems that they seem too involved, too out there; too happy, too
friendly, too social, too loud, too funny…something is wrong. They want
something out of you you can’t possibly give: her sanity. Yet another different
case is the “self-centered” bitch. She would talk about herself, her issues, and
her needs all the time while you just stand there and take it, thinking that
you are attending a monologue, not a conversation. She, her life is her
favorite topic. This type targets nice guys who won’t tell them off/call them
on it and use them for their selfish needs. People pleaser type of guys are particularly
vulnerable to this “self-centered” bitch type because they won’t tell this
woman off on account of being polite and nice to her. So she walks all over
them. Some Hollywood types come to mind, women who obsess about their
acting/modeling career (again not necessarily gold digging type) or social
status and can’t seem to shut their trap about it. But you can find this type
anywhere. Needless to say some of those women types are extremely beautiful and
you might want to bang them. I suggest you adapt your strategy to the type.
Others, severe cases, you might want to avoid all together. Remember, if you
hang out with crazy people, you turn crazy too. Laying those psycho types it is
not hard; however, it is a challenge to get rid of them later. So watch out.
2. The High Heel Alpha Female (Gold digger types
are not necessarily included in this category though some might.): This is the
ultimate head case who just wants crazy male attention. She means to
demolish/annihilate her female competitors. They peacock big time. You know,
the works: high heel stiletto shoes, super slick hairdo (model type), tarted up
to the wazu, super tight clothe revealing her curves, explosive cleavage and so
on. You get it. She uses her looks to get male attention AWAY from her “loser”
female counterparts. So when you approach her, she “fulfilled her destiny”. So
right then and there, she dumps you because she is not interested anymore. She wants
more male validation. Second thing she would do is she would play aloof,
distant, and be self-absorbed like she doesn’t care. But she does. That’s how
she will trap you in her net. She feels in control now. Once she gets guys
chasing she is in charge. She is deep down a control freak and gets off
controlling guys. It heightens her self-esteem. She feels wanted. That’s all
she wants. It is the old cat and mouse game, where the cat plays with the mouse
before it kills it, by letting the mouse run a bit and make it believe it has a
chance to survive. Cat wants to be entertained before it kills so does a woman
playing with a guy before they blow him off. But she won’t follow thru because
her needs for attention are being met just by you approaching her. That’s what
her act is all about. They are not that serious about sex (even though you might
lay this type), because the mechanics of intercourse and intimate nature of it
would be a step down from her attention seeking game. If you refuse to play her
game you might have a shot at this one. By opening her group and paying attention to
other girls there, you might trigger a chasing pattern and you might be able to
trap her on that pattern. Sometimes, these women are childlike inside, and all
they need is a good spanking. Taking the attention away from her and giving it
to other girls in her group, could be interpreted as an act of power by a high
value male. Those women respond to power (You become her trophy male). She
might want to get that attention back to her and you score that way. Good luck
with that anyway.
3. The Stalker:
women stalk for different reasons. In theory, they are all stalkers when they
like a guy but this type won’t let go. You become their trophy. Disregarding
popular opinion, a stalking woman is not after sex, but commitment. One thing
is to have sex with you and another is getting a guy to commit and love them.
They want love. Unfortunately for stalkers, they commit to hook themselves up with
people that can’t give it to them. That’s why a player is stalked all the time
by women like this. A player who lays women left and right won’t commit to
anyone woman in particular. Most F.B’s will leave you alone after 2 or 3 months
because they realize you won’t commit so they move on. On the other hand,
stalker chicks want what they cannot have. They are in love with the promise of
a relationship, not with a real relationship. They play out a fantasy in their
heads of the two of you together but that’s about it. Since the guy they are
stalking would not give them the fantasy or won’t commit it is perfect for the
stalker to keep chasing that fantasy in their head. Real relationships are too much hard work for
the stalker so they rather chase somebody who doesn’t want it.
4. The Bitch: Finally we got to my favorite type. I
want you not to confuse this one with the “high heel type” I mentioned earlier.
Because “the Bitch” is not out for attention. She is out to test. Conventional
wisdom says that a woman who puts out too easily will harm her chance to get
men to commit to her. I won’t deny that but we are dealing with border line
psycho behavior here, not old wife’s tales. This type usually hates men because
they have been dumped a few times or they are fearful about committing and
being hurt. Women in this category take testing to a whole new level, almost
insane. Women like this are icy and dismissive when men approach them because
they know the weak men will leave and only the strong will plow through their
bitch shield. It takes patience to break the ice with these women but believe
me, once you do, you will have a puppy following you everywhere desperate for
you to throw her a bone if you know what I mean(attempted humor, bone=sex. Not
funny, I know.) These women test hard at the beginning but less at the end. So
you might get away with more stuff than with a regular girl who tests
moderately at the beginning but it is too smart to let you get away with
uncommitted sex later.
Anyway, these are the major types I wanted to talk about,
plenty more out there. You will find traces of one type into another type and
so on. You can never have a pure breed. Notice I never included the dreaded gold
digger in those types. It is not an accident. True gold diggers are calculative
women who won’t bother playing games with you. They are after power, money or
fame at whatever cost but they won’t waste their precious time and money in
fantasy or mind games. For starters, you will find them in places where their
goals could be met; alternatively, they would work certain social networks or
you will find them in certain industries. In many ways they behave like sales
men. They are realistic about their looks and their ambitions and work their
way up the ladder in a rather conscious way, not in a reactive, crazy way.
Porn and your relationship (relationship advice, it applies
to your cold approaching too this time).
Guys use porn and that’s fine. It becomes a problem when it
becomes too much and here is why.
1.
Porn users report a general lack of interest in
real sex. Sex is better when it is a fantasy than in real life. Over 60 percent
of the general male population uses porn. Porn companies know about this so
they overflow your inbox selling you the latest stuff. Porn can become a
permanent substitute for sex with women since it is stress free (you don’t have
to deal with all the trouble of approaching, dating and pulling women). Also
remember that at the same time you become a home body with real social skills that
won’t be able to replicate his genes. Fear can be a powerful motivator.
2.
Losing interest in sex with your partner. Of
course, she doesn’t look like the porn goddesses who you will find on the
internet. Little you know those women are generally tarted up, in friendly
lighting and good camera angles to look great. They are pros. Your girl is not
a pro, and this is not a movie, it is real life. You are not the pizza delivery
boy who happens to luck out by knocking on the door of a nymphomaniac girl; but
just a guy with a normal job and a regular girlfriend.
3.
It might kill your confidence to watch another
guy’s long and hard “Johnson” satisfying a beautiful woman so watch out for
that. It will make you feel insecure about your little pecker. Remember that
those guys are pros, camera angles, enlargements and so on. So you see them
pleasuring two or three women and you might think the whole thing is true. You
don’t know that coke, Cialis, and other hard drugs are common place in the porn
industry. I remember being invited by Hoobie (when he became a porn producer)
to do his first on-line porn movie and I said no. I decided I couldn’t compete
with those guys. I am glad I didn’t do it. In retrospect, it might have been
fun though.
4.
It does kill your real libido in real life. You
won’t be able to hold an erection with your girlfriend for too long because you
are too used to masturbation, not normal intercourse. You might have trouble
finishing up intercourse because you are not used real ejaculation unless it is
supported by a fantasy of some sort. Some women might interpret this as their
fault and leave you for a man who is more interested and available sexually.
Women interpret using porn as a breach of trust. You are fantasizing sexually
with other women. In a way, you are cheating.
Those are some of the don’ts. It will
affect you not only at the level of relationship but also in your game. Don’t
kill your libido on image on the screen, instead go find a real girl and have
real sex. It is far more enjoyable and human. Don’t be a casualty of the
internet sex industry.
So, I am out of here. I probably went too
long on this one. See you guys later.
February 15-17 Amsterdam
February 22-24 London
March 1-3 London BC
March 8-10 Dublin BC
March 15-17 London BC
March 22-24 Berlin BC
March 29-31 London BC
