Ozzie's Blog

Unless You Try

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In This Article
- Mantra of “try and see”
- “Spill over” effect of pickup
- Predicting catastrophes
- Mixed set scare
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I think I made a life philosophy out of this simple mantra. Keeping it simple has always been my credo. I don’t believe in complicated solutions to big problems. (More on this in my book “The Physical Game” coming out TODAY)

For the “try and see” approach.



- Experiment. “Try and see” what happens has always been a part of my life. When I started to experiment with physical game I couldn’t believe the kind of shit I could get away with. Make a girl suck your dick over your pants. Go for it. There is other stuff that I did that I won’t even say for the sake of not appearing like a braggart -- most shit that happens in-field sounds unbelievable to the layman. Girls get sexual very quickly when you truly don’t give a shit.

- Keep it simple. I took a big chunk out of this philosophy from seeing Tim in the field. Whatever it is, just try it and don’t overcomplicate the thing.

The Story

I remember an RSD retreat in Greece, 2006. The whole crew was there. We had so much crazy shit happen to us on that retreat we had to make a habit of improvising on-the-go. From being stranded on a dirty hippie island with one water taxi a day, to banging girls, to getting ourselves into unavailable hotel rooms, to hop flying in a small cheap plane from one island to Athens etc. In the end everything worked out and we had some of the best moments ever. I learned that nothing is impossible if you “try and see”. I remember being stranded in Ios Island with no hotel rooms available, our entire luggage on the floor of a Cafe at almost 11PM with no prospect of having a place to sleep and Papa walking around the island on an impossible mission to find a place for us in a tourist-packed party island. Not only did he get us rooms but he also got us into one of the best beachfront hotels on the island for a fraction of the cost. It blew my mind. He resorted to a front office contact he cleverly got from a receptionist girl I banged in Mykonos Island.

Generalization

It is customary for guys who take RSD programs to change other parts of their lives. The program and newfound confidence has a “spillover” effect on their jobs, friend relations and overall life. Plenty of dudes leave my program and decide to quit their “chode” jobs -- I don’t endorse this -- and go on a world tour. They think “if I can get women, I can do whatever I want with my life”.

This “spillover” effect leads them to take on new challenges: new jobs, embark on new business ventures, etc. Confidence breeds confidence.



“I am Tony Montana, a political prisoner from Cuba ...give me my fucking human rights!”

You can play the system when the system has no play with you.

Remember:
When you crystal ball interactions into major catastrophes, you reduce your “try and see” capacity. You expect the worst so you won’t try. You feel like if you approach a mixed set the guy will beat you up, however unlikely the prospect is. You would be surprised how many guys won’t approach mixed sets because of this fear.

The Mixed Set Scare

I approach mix sets all the time, I know they are the simplest. My mixed set skill has gone through the roof because of this. I have gotten so good at befriending guys in set that I have ended up “amogging” the girls at times. Sometimes guys start talking to me all at the same time and the girl leaves the set and I have to chase her back into it. It has happened on a couple of occasions -- I see my girl getting ignored while guys mob me with high-fives and ask me questions like little school girls. I have tried to patch this up by approaching girls first but still I get it once in a while.

COACH INSIGHT
If you are afraid guys will “beat you up” you might want to think in terms of worst case scenario here and evaluate the situation more realistically: “The worst that can happen is that a jealous boyfriend beats me but it is unlikely”. So you go ahead and “try and see” for yourself. Since you know worst case scenarios are unlikely you will approach with less fear. The less fear the greater your “try and see” capacity. You will be more action-oriented and less analysis-based.

Soon your “generalization” will kick in. After a couple of good interactions with guys in mixed sets, your mind will “generalize” that it is always positive like that -- your mind will rule out the chance of a worst case scenario. Your fear will be reduced.

You can apply this generalization concept to every area of the game: opening girls “out of your league”, getting physical from the opener, making out, pulling to dance floor etc. For every good experience you have, your mind will do the “generalization” job. Your fear to do those “scary” feats will be greatly reduced to the point that fear is almost gone. For me to have any fear approaching after doing this for more than 5 years, I need to crank it up manually. Simply, I am not afraid of doing anything anymore.

So after generalization, your “try and see” meter will go up. You will just try and see what happens with those things you are scared of doing.

Good hunting!



Steps to success
- If fear was not an issue how much would you try in the field?
- What is the worst case scenario of approaching a group of people? Can you handle it?

The Fear That Rides Desire

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In This Article
- How to curb fears of approaching women
- How challenges in other areas can be applied to your sex life
- Using research as a tool against fear
- The connection between fears and goals
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You want something but you are too scared to go for it

Fear tells you fight or flight. You want to run in the opposite direction when you want something. Fear of failure rides you. However, deep down you know you can’t get what you want unless you risk failure. Sometimes I feel like AA is just fear of failure. The guy is afraid of looking bad or failing in front of an instructor, friends, strangers or worst, his ego.

A new life plan



I see all kinds of threads about a new living plan like new diet, gym, clean living, etc. Though I think it's great that guys make a new life plan, I also know that it probably took them a while to overcome their fear of going into an uncharted territory like that.

It is scary to set up new goals.

- Fear of the unknown. You don’t know what will happen if you do certain things differently. It might require adjustments in other areas of your life like new schedules, meals, preparation, etc.
- Fear of failure. You are afraid to commit to something and then fail at it. Nothing worse than to look back and find yourself right where you started.
- Fear of negative social consequences. What if others knew and then hold you to your word? What if you decide to drop 10 pounds and then failed and everybody knew about it? You could lose face in front of friends and significant people in your life.

It takes the same courage to approach beautiful girls. Others might laugh if you fail.

How to destroy fear: research

One of the things fear tells you is that you are thoroughly unprepared to undertake the action you want. You don’t know. You will never know. You will never be as good as the successful guys, etc. All bullshit.



When I talked to TD about writing a book, I had no idea how to write a book. I just wanted to write one -- in English!!!. My English grammar sucks; I can’t produce a lot of material -- all kinds of excuses etc. Very quickly Papa sent me a “how-to” book to write a book. Research started. 2 months later I had the outline for my book and 3 chapters... Right now it is ready -- coming out September 1st, watch out! However, fear kept on striking me. Sometimes I just felt I wanted to stop writing and do something else. I am no writer, you know. But I kept going.

When you research you discover the territory you will be walking on.

1) Find out your worst case scenarios. Since fear is usually fear of the unknown, you will destroy it with research. Research and your fear will become less poignant. Research more and you will see that worst case scenarios rarely happen and you will relax. That’s why AA tends to subside after guys find out that there is nothing to fear after a couple of approaches. It actually is pretty simple.

2) Get to know who you are. In your research you should include getting to know you. “Know thyself” seems to be the wisest thing ever said. Get to know your learning style (George Leonard), your fears, and interact with people who have overcome their fears. This is probably all the evidence you will ever need.

Doing one thing you are scared of doing every day

Make sure it's something you want to do or always wanted to do: maybe approaching that hottie on the tube or in the coffee shop, simply doing a public speaking gig or going out alone on a Friday night, even saying “hi” to your neighbor. Whatever. Get in the habit of doing something you want to do every day but won’t because of fear.

Remember:
Sooner rather than later you will find that you don’t need people or so much information or support. You become your own support group. You are independent.

COACH INSIGHT
You will not overcome fear.
It is impossible to erase it. You just get better at dealing with it. It also is a blessing in disguise. It is like a compass that tells you you are riding your true deep-seated desires. All your intimate desires are fear-ridden. It is your job to know yourself. It is essential you let fear guide you to your desires but not overwhelm you. It is bittersweet to find that fear is your ally in this. All those years of trying to overcome it, you realize that it actually tells you something positive about yourself.

Fear is your friend. A radical thought



I am telling you all this from the comfort of my laptop because I am a coward. I am no hero. You could say I am doing a little lip service. I'll give you an example: I was terrified of committing to a relationship. I have been banging girls for years without the slightest thought of committing to a relationship.

Bottom line was I was scared. I was afraid of being hurt, committed, or a painful breakup, etc. It was not my PU persona or ego; it was plain old fear. I kept it simple, just sex. Months ago I moved into my girlfriend’s apartment -- I had no choice since my 2 year lease on my apartment had run out. It was the scariest thing I have ever done. I didn’t want to do it. It took me a lot thinking and I did it on the condition that “We will try this for a month”. Even though it felt like stepping into the unknown for me to make this kind of change, I went for it.

This is why I have no mercy in pushing people out of their various “bridges” into the abyss. I am a coward too. I have to push myself out of comfort zones constantly. Homeostasis works for me too.

Fear tells you you are riding your true desire. All desire comes with a great deal of fear attached to it. Do a little research (not too much) and go for it.

Steps to success
- How would your life change if you were to follow your desires and face the fear that rides them?
- Do you have problems writing down your goals? If so, why?
- Do you know exactly the situations you are avoiding when you don’t approach a girl you like?
- What if those fear scenarios you are avoiding by not approaching were to happen? Would that be so bad?

Life and Pick up

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In This Article
- Distractions in the game
- Fun and the game
- The zero logic approach to Pick up
- Getting physical and verbal game
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I had as much fun as frustration when I wrote “The Physical Game Book”(Coming out September 1st)! I realized it all was more fun in the end. I can’t help but look back and write it all off as an interesting journey. Every day was different. I would not know whether I would produce a Chapter or spend the day staring at a blank computer screen. However, despite it all, you can’t say it was boring. It was fun!



Life is what happens to you

“Life is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things” or something. John Lennon said that a long time ago and when I first heard this I thought he was full of crap.

Today I have a newfound respect for John Lennon and his hippie days after I see myself deluding in a myriad of meaningless tasks and find myself needing to focus on the important, rather than the urgent. Plans for the future seem so futile when reality strikes you with all kinds of urgencies. We all feel we are not doing enough or the required with our lives. We feel time slipping by without fulfilling our goals etc.

COACH INSIGHT
As I coach guys, I realize that most guys don’t need to do a lot of stuff; they just have to take some action. Taking some real action over a period of time will solve most of their questions without even the need to answer. It is very common that half way thru BC most questions have already been answered not by me but by the different actions taken in the field. Game is simplified to its basic foundations of seeing a girl, approaching her and taking it from there.

Getting laid is what happens to you when you are busy having fun

If you look at the times when you get laid, there is one common denominator: fun. The girl was having fun, you were having fun, and, as a result, your dick finds its way into her pants. One thing led to another, everything seems to fall into place: logistics, her friends’ approval, etc., and you went home together. It was almost meant to be. If you pay closer attention, you will notice there was not much of an effort and it all flowed somehow with the usual bumps in the road like pulling her out of the club, maybe a bit of resistance when kiss closing, etc.

I would go as far as saying that if you were not in a good mood, having fun, totally in the moment the chances of getting laid would have been reduced to almost zero. No fun, starting the conversation breaks down. No fun, you can’t maintain an interaction based on logical conversation. No fun, you can’t drag her away from her friends anywhere because it is obvious she will not enjoy it wherever you are going together....etc.



Remember:
The whole system breaks when the one obvious thing that glues it together breaks. Fun, enjoyment, happiness, good mood, state, good vibe, high energy, etc. Whatever you want to call it.

Working and fun

I force myself when I am in the field not to look at it as a job. If I look at it as a job to coach guys, I inevitably fall into logical state, repetition and boredom sets in, and my program goes to shit. I aim to have a party in the field with the guys. I jump up and down like a maniac. I make stupid remarks. I shake my ass to girls. I goof around. I high-five people for no reason....it has to be fun. Same as getting laid, a good program is the result of how much fun I had doing it. It reflects on the students.

Once physical you won’t go back

If you are not getting physical with a girl, you are not having real fun. Unless you are spinning girls, holding them, hugging them you won’t enjoy everything this game has to offer.

Every time I teach physical game, I realize guys are having so much fun with it that they don’t rely on verbal game ever again to create attraction. They enjoy it so much they can’t get enough of it. They actually STOP talking. They let their physical moves do the talking. They realize how much easier it is to carry an interaction sprinkled with physicality than to talk their ass off forever. You can get interactions going longer and faster if you apply all THE PHYSICAL GAME moves.

Zero Logic

Every time you bore people or you bore yourself, you must check for logic in your conversation. Logic will kill an otherwise fun interaction. Going into the interview mode of “questions and answers” will do that to you. For every question you make, produce 5 affirmative sentences in your dialogues with girls. i have made a habit of turning all my questions into affirmative sentences by using “i am guessing here...” “I think that....” “I want you to...” instead of “do you think..?” “do you want?” etc.

Remember:
Make a commitment to stop logic when you are in the field. Make a deal with your wing to give him 10 dollars every time you start a conversation with a background of logic behind it -- talking game in the field is logic-related. You will make your wing rich. You will be forced to have fun.



Steps to success
- If you are not having fun in the field for lack of results, does this “no fun” mentality affect/improve your game? What can you do about it?
- How hard would it be to make a commitment to fun instead of outcome? Wouldn’t you rather have both?
- How physical are you with girls? Do you wait for signals from her or do you create such signals with your physicality? What would it mean to you to get physical without signals?
- Can you think of fun stories to share with your wing while you are in field? How can you improve the general vibe you bring into your sets?

Hi guys, today I will talk about my new book, The Physical Game, coming out September 1, 2010. This book has been a 2 and a half year effort of writing and editing. Many hours have been invested into its completion and it is finally ready to come out. It has been worth it just to see the final product... This book is like a tour into 5 years worth of programs dealing with everything that has been thrown my way.



My audience



I wanted to write a book that would help guys at whatever level of game, from newbie to those guys who consider themselves to have advanced game. So whether you are a rookie without any approaches under your belt or you are already having success with women, but want more consistency, this book will speak to your particular situation in the game.

YOU NEED THIS BOOK IF
1. Your interactions die before you can do anything sexual with the girl
2. By the time you want to get physical/sexual is too late
3. You get bogus phone numbers that won’t answer back
4. You get other girls dragging your girl away from you in the club
5. You want to relate to women in a non-approval seeking manner-not like a friend to a friend aka friend zone.
6. On a day 2, you are asking yourself, “Do I hug her when I see her?”
7. Women lead you as opposed to you leading them
8. You want to move a girl around in the hectic environment of a club and go for the final pull
9. Other guys feel entitled to come into your set and try to blow you off
10. You lack clarity when you approach or women perceived duality or lack of genuineness in your approach to them
11. You think you need gimmicks to talk to a hot girl
12. You fail to approach women you like in any scenario, day or night time
13. You want to use the dance floor as a tool to kiss close/make out

What makes this book special?



Well unlike most pickup books until now, rather than saying “My pickup method is the best”, I go into “this is how I teach it to hundreds of average guys”. I have been teaching this material for 5 years and my experience as a pickup coach proves that I can teach this to anybody.

If I can teach pickup to a novice client in a weekend and get him the kind of girls he likes, then it is worth writing a book about it. I teach basically how to go from literally 0 to 100 in terms of success with women in a 3 day program known as a “bootcamp” in the industry. I have crafted my techniques over years and now I am ready to write about them and share them with the world.

The novelty of this book is physical game. Unlike other systems, books of pickup that teach memorization of structure, routine parroting and lines, my system is based on improvisation and getting physical with the girl faster. It is what I teach these days. Nobody that I know in the industry is doing this. The manuscript will have 14 chapters and each one 5000 words long with illustrations that will show what I am describing in the text. For example, when I teach “the claw” technique I will show a back picture of a man with his hand on top of the girl's shoulder demonstrating how it is done.

It will be the first book

- To explain the complicated and controversial topic of physical escalation in pick up based on the author’s 5 years of experience as a pickup coach
- To offer the unique view of a pickup coach on how to self-teach this material, including typical mistakes and how to avoid them
- To open the vault of a pickup coach’s program drills he uses on his live in-field programs
- To break down pickup simply, so an average guy can understand it without all the lingo and complicated maneuvers that muddle other books on the subject. I break approaching women down to the bare bone and stay away from weird, unintelligible stuff, providing simple drills at the end of all relevant chapters for every guy to be able to self-teach the material

I also plan to throw in an online resource attached to the book so guys can go and check out the in-club video demos that I currently use in my programs to teach this thing. I don’t think this has ever been done before either in the industry.

I plan to accompany everything that I explain with some form of visual aids.

Some of the well-kept secrets, kept for my thousands of dollars worth program every weekend will be disclosed to everybody, including drills, belief systems, techniques, etc. It is all very exciting for me to share this.

How This Book Is Organized

This book is divided into 4 parts and 14 chapters. The table of contents lists every item with more information about every chapter, but the following details the grand sections of the book.

THE PHYSICAL GAME BOOK

PART I: FIRST THINGS FIRST: HOW TO START AN INTERACTION FROM ZERO

In Part I, we get to the bottom of “My mind goes blank when I see a hot girl” symptom. Why and how it happens. How to overcome it. We discuss how small increments can help you when you express yourself. We get deeper into the relationship between “Running out of things to say vs. expressing yourself”. You also learn how doing what you feel like doing or saying what you feel like saying is the right thing to do. You also learn how allowing structure to rule your game, you are harnessed into a tight-fitting costume, one which is hard to get out of and leave little or no room for flexibility for improvisation. Other pointers in this part include

- How to start conversations without an opening line
- Steering clear of “weird” pickup stuff and becoming normal
- Simplicity and closer game. How to make it simple so you can repeat the same in every group without even thinking about what you are doing
- “Say anything” solution
- Focus on being yourself
- Being loud to get authority and attention faster
- The secret to open big groups of people
- Mirroring. How an irresistible positive vibe will open people up to you
- Comfort zone blaster exercises and drills
- And so much more...

PART II: GETTING PHYSICAL

Learn how and why we are afraid to get physical with women. Learn how lifetime cemented old behaviours still operate in you and how negatively they affect your game. In this chapter you also learn what “back siding” is and how to deal with reverting back to old behaviours. You also learn to ignore and deal with homeostasis and how “I am going to die” signals from your brain that indicate resistance can be averted. We also deal with the 1-2 step rule to negotiate most types of resistance in guys to change behaviour. Self defeating concepts like “magic pill” and “instant gratification” are also treated in depth. We deal with defects like “too much talking” or “too many tactics” and teach you the right way to lead girls physically.

This is where you learn what I call the “bully” approach to physical game. You learn how there is no time to lose and that leading physically fast and firm is the way to get a girl in bed. I also teach how to not to be a “tactic collector” and avoid the paralysis of overanalysing every approach that you do. You also learn the value of simplicity and rolling in the field with 1 or 2 ideas at a time. I also teach how not to be the “horny guy” in your physical approach and become playfully aggressive physically. I also teach to avoid trying to look good as opposed to letting go of the outcome dependence and get laid. You also learn how bold doesn’t mean you are confident and you learn how to get confident from the core and not a superficial level. You also learn “the claw” as a great physical domination tool to have in your arsenal.

- Playfully physical
- Getting good vs. getting laid
- The choke vs. the creepy touch
- The “train hard, pull easy” philosophy
- Fear of mistakes
- Cultural issues and how they affect getting physical with women
- “Girl is hotter than me” syndrome and how to attack it
- How delaying gratification can help you to get good
- And so much more....

PART III THE INTERNALS FOR PHYSICAL GAME

In Part III you learn how your current beliefs affect your results in dealing with women. You are also taught ways in which you can change your beliefs so you avoid sub communicating the wrong things when you are interacting with women. I also break down the most common behaviours that repel women and how to go about correcting them. I also teach you the “assume the gun is loaded” belief and its application to picking up women. I also discuss why shaky beliefs lead to inconsistent results and the way to correct them. Avoiding the “popularity” contest is also taught together with some assertiveness drills. I also teach specific mantras to repeat in your head while you approach that will correct 90 percent of your approaching problems.

You learn what is “girl on a pedestal” perception and the objectivising women and how it hurts your game. You also learn how to stop talking to external signs of value and start talking to the woman for real and get thru to her. You are also taught several other drills like “meet the club owner” drill or visualization drills that get you to belief you are the coolest guy there. You also learn how to produce situational confidence in unlikely places. Craving for value and looking for it outside hurts you and you are taught how to stop these self defeating tendencies.

- Become. No gimmicks mentality
- The ioi junkie
- Like to be liked
- Bold statements
- 5 min drill to overcome paralysis
- Craving is needy
- Value attached to outcome
- Learn how to stop the “dance floor monkey” syndrome
- The friend zone. How to avoid it
- Isolation and make out on the dance floor
- Kino rules in the dance floor. Distance issue
- Basic dancing skills
- Unassuming approach. Be non judgemental
- Superficial values in a club
- And so much more...

PART IV CLOSING THE DEAL AND TROUBLE SHOOTING

The reason why we play the game is to get laid. Learn how to extract girls from the club and take them back home. Learn group tactics and my proven “group leader” theory to approach groups and extract girls successfully. Learn how “getting the cheek” twice is not a bad sign when you attempt to kiss close girls. Learn also about women’s weak reality and how and why they cannot say “no” more than 3 times. Learn how to be assertive and close every girl you meet and forget about the consequences of their actions. Learn the “not ready yet” concept and how it applies to kiss closing girls. Learn how to pull a girl home without kiss closing her by establishing a dominant lead. Learn how to assume “she wants it”.

Learn the most common ways guys screw up and destroy their practice. Learn how girl’s negative reactions can kill your state. Learn how self evaluation can derail you from the path to success. The “good night vs. bad night” syndrome. Focusing on negativity. How to stop picking up in order to restore your positive state. Learn how fighting your bad state is self defeating. Learn to become a master by negotiating your resistance to change, “back sliding” effect. Learn the most dangerous mindset in pick up. Learn the “20 minute” rule and how it will affect your game if you don’t apply it. Learn how vanity can destroy your game. The “I want to improve” attitude vs. “overly critical” attitude.

- Once you are in there is no way out
- Women’s weak reality
- Different types of extractions: food extractions, car extractions, “no reason” extractions
- Doing it poorly but getting it done. Not looking good but closing anyways
- The number one reason for failing
- Accentuating the positive
- The big picture in pick up. Embracing and celebrating the positive
- Not focusing on your short comings

CONCLUSION

This book takes on a trip from meeting a girl to bedding a girl. At the beginning it leads you to discover your own internal resources to approach women without using other people’s pick up lines and material. Then it takes you to the arena of personal beliefs required to approach women and how to ground them deep in your psyche. Finally it deals on how to close the deal. All the way, your journey will be sprinkled with readymade drills used in coaching sessions live in the field. It will be a personal journey where you will feel transformed and different at the end, ready to face the challenge of meeting women.

Get on the VIP Interest List for the Physical Game Book by visiting:
http://www.physicalgamebook.com

Liberator of Men

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In This Article
- Definition by the media of Pick up Guys
- Quick fixes in the game
- The myth and reality of the Pick up “job”
- How Pick up can lead you to better things
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Now that I throw myself in the marketing campaign for my book “The Physical Game” (Launch September 1st), I find myself being pigeonholed in the category of “Pick up” guy. I am blasted into the same weird, jargon filled, sex-hungry, needy category as the rest of the pickup guys selling products out there -- the very thing that I have tried to avoid and try to keep my clients away from. But, no victim mentality here. I will tell you my honest ideas on this and why this has happened in an effort to clear some misunderstandings as to what is that we, pick up coaches, do.

Media whoring

So far the image of “Pick up guys” in the media or guys like me who dedicate themselves to this job doesn’t reflect what we do. We are creating various stereotypes without even knowing it that won’t help our industry. If you see a pick up guy in the various media out there you will be left with the following impressions.

- Cheesy. Apart from the barrage of pick up lines to “seduce” women you will notice in his choice of wardrobe something that screams “awry”. It makes me go “yikes”. You notice something out of place in the haircut, slick clothes, weird accessorizing, etc.

- Suspicious. In an effort to sell his pick up product he needs to at least pretend he has some “secrets” to seducing women that nobody else has. He might be a great stand up dude but he is confronted with the reality of a stereotype he needs to fill in order to be marketable. Because of all this “secret” mentality, our industry is moving into the dangerous territory of “too good to be true” -- fake, that is. You also reinforce the mentality that with these “trade secrets” people don’t have to make an effort, work hard or become better human beings to be successful.

- Tricks. It is assumed that pick up guys have a bag of tricks that they use to seduce. So, ordinary people imagine a guy with a toolbox of tricks and aces under the sleeve to be flashed out when he meets a female. All of this contributes to the stereotype of the trickster, namely, a dishonest, cunning type who uses voodoo-like incantations to trick women into bed with him. The tricks being the shortcut to get what you want, again without much effort or any kind of real growth.

- The jerk persona. Some of the guys you see have made it a habit in their journey from chode to champ to acquire, refine and absorb the jerk persona. As a reaction to their old geeky self now they want to impersonate the high school jockey or something. But even though they have managed to bury the geek very deep down, they can’t still manage the jerk persona because it is totally not congruent with their personality even though he has managed to change everything outside like clothes, gadgets, hair, etc. This glitch in the personality results in fakeness and incongruence that can be spotted after he has exhausted all his arsenal of prearrange, rehearsed attitudes and strategies. All of this makes them look shady or suspicious characters to say the least. Another stereotype in the making. If he keeps that up he will end in an asylum staring at the wall due to multiple personality disorder.

All of the above in a nutshell is value-taking. It means when we talk to a girl all we are doing is try to steal value from her. We don’t offer anything in return. It promotes the image that we are out “on the take”.

This is a sad state of affairs for the Pickup community. Instead of value givers we breathe value-taking. No wonder many people are repelled by the Pickup community because all these stereotypes have been fed to the media for the past 4 years. However, there is nothing further from the truth. As in any community that you get involved with, you will find all kinds of people: some amazing, others not so and some ok people.

The reality of the Pickup job

No matter how much I try to separate what I do from the above, I can’t help but be stereotyped too. The bottom line is that I do teach men how to get women. However, you can’t say we take value when we approach women otherwise you wouldn’t be successful with them. Nobody likes value takers. A minimum of value needs to be offered for you to get laid. Women are attracted to attractive men. I mean attractive here in the full sense of the word, not physically speaking.

I have encountered in the last 5 years all kinds of people. Like in any activity you find good, bad and ugly. Some of the guys I have met through my job have become friends over the years. Some of the coolest people I have met in my life I have met through pick up coaching. It pains me when I am confronted with the reality of the stereotypes to see that those amazing guys will be thrown in the same cheesy, voodoo-like seduction-community sack as the rest.

Remember:
It only takes a minority for a cliché to set in. In an effort to hawk products, the very essence of our job gets lost.

We help guys



When I see the transformations happening in over a weekend of live-in-field programs, I wonder if the media will be interested. They probably won’t be. Who cares if a guy has become more natural, broke through his long-term shyness and feels happier now with more choice of women in his life?

Nobody cares.

The media doesn’t like positive things per se, unless there is a dark angle, some negativity or something laughable.

I doubt that you can sit in a TV interview and say to the TV talking head, “All you have to do to get a girl you like is be yourself around her. There are no secrets”. I don’t think anybody will tune into that show. You must have “dirty little secrets nobody knows about” to get their attention.

Our job in the field

My job is very straightforward in the field.



- Point A to point B. It has nothing to do with secrets or pick up lines or sophisticated manoeuvring. I have a client who wants to go from point A to point B. I have three days to make it happen.
- Principled teachings, no gimmicks. Growth happens in the weekend as a result of a lot of hard work by explaining, repeating, getting insights, personalizing a number of key principles, drilling, trial and error, etc. The more I can align my client with those principles (not gimmicks) the more he will be successful during and after the program.
- Zero quick fixes. There are no secrets. I wish there were because my life will be so much easier during program. I wouldn’t have to repeat so much. But hey, that’s my job.

A liberator of men

We help guys help themselves. Most guys who come to a program, contrary to popular opinion, have as an end goal to find their ideal soul mate in life. Even though they want to learn how to approach and bed women, most of them don’t want to remain single forever. They just want choice.

COACH INSIGHT
Choice in life means freedom. In that sense, I am a liberator of men, not a trickster. I help men reach their full potential when it comes to the opposite sex and their social life. I help them attain personal goals in their lives. I couldn’t trick them into that even if I wanted to. Real growth cannot be faked; you must pay the price to quote Steven Covey.

The majority of my clients want to have the ability to have a choice as to the partner they want to spend the rest of their lives with. In other words they don’t want to be stuck with a girl they don’t like because of lack of options. That’s a genuine desire. There is nothing wrong, cheesy or suspicious about it.

However, what irritates me is to see the image of sex-hungry addicts we get portrayed out there when the reality is quite the opposite. Men who come to this pick up activity want to have some fun with the women too but their ultimate goal is to have choice.

Remember:
You will have tremendous personal growth as a result of dedicating yourself to pick up. You will become a better person. There is no question. Why? Well, there is no way you will be successful with women if you don’t become successful as a person. You will have to align yourself with various success principles that will propel you to greater heights of personal growth. Failure to align with such principles will mean you won’t succeed in the long term. You might have luck shots here and there but you will lack consistency.



Steps to success
- Do you believe in “quick fixes” or tricks to get women? If you do, do you really want them or would you rather pay the price of growth?
- Do you sometimes behave like a jerk to women as a means to “one up” them? Do you think this is necessary to attract them? Have you tried an alternative way?
- What’s your end goal in Pick up? Are you doing this only for the sex? if you have an end goal, are you making sure you pursue it consistently in the field?
- Do you think the principled approach to Pick up is slower to reach your goals in the long term? Even if it was slower, would you still want it?

I Know That I Know

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In This Article
- Sources of motivation
- Tapping into unknown resources we have
- Listening to our inner “no bullshit” radar
- Intuition and Pick up
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It is somewhat odd to see some of my students to start to do well after being rejected for 2 solid hours in their first night of BC without anything I can do about it. They start doing well. When I inquire they answer, “I don’t know. Everything started to fall into place. I suddenly just knew what I needed to do.”

Crisis management

Many people say the same thing after a life crisis that shook the bejesus out of their emotional core.

- A freak accident. Like having lost a job, a house, or left stranded on a far off place without help. They suddenly knew exactly what they have to do to get out of the emotional pit hole.
- Starting a business venture. Guys that have been terminated from their jobs and start a successful business after being emotionally destroyed for a while. All of a sudden they start having “new” ideas for business and they rock at it.

The Story

I remember years ago in Greece (RSD retreat) when we were left stranded in an island in Greece due to a tour agent fuck up. We were transported by boat to a “nature” resort in a small island with a “taxi” boat service that only transported people twice a day. It was night and we couldn’t go to shore until next day. It was horrible because there was no electricity, we had to sleep on the floor, etc. But we wanted to party and go to clubs. There was no party in a 5 mile radius. We were so desperate and disappointed we started laughing hysterically.

Enter Papa.

He said, “We are not staying here. This is unacceptable." And got into gear.

Papa started calling various people on the phone like a madman. He had no cell cover so he had to climb a rock and call from there while all of us sat down with our suitcases and laptops resigned to our fate. Papa called everybody possible while we all gave up. He never gave up. He got the water “taxi” to do an extra trip back to shore. Once in shore, he called a taxi from mainland in Ios Island to pick us up and take us back to the mainland. Then we had no room in Ios town. He got a room for us at half price the next day in a shore line hotel in Ios -- thanks to a contact provided by a girl I had banged in Mykonos. Amazing. It was by far the best Holiday I ever had. It had everything: sex, adventure, relaxation, friendship, etc.

The crisis prompted all this.

Tapping Into the Inner Resources

Extrasensory information

I know it sounds like a case of the X-Files but it is not. Most of these ideas come from somewhere inside your deep self but outside your rational mind.

You must train yourself to listen.

1) The inner wisdom. Most guys are not in the habit of listening to their deep self, the so-called inner wisdom that has nothing to do with logic. We are trained over and over to listen to logic by our schooling system. Our intuitive system is not trained by our school; it is actually shut down by it.

2) Take initiative. Repeating information that you hear by a teacher seems to be the norm. It subtly trains you to do what others say instead of listening to your own inner voice. We are trained to discard all kinds of initiative coming from our core.

3) In the field. I want students to start taking initiative on the second night of BC. They must start thinking for themselves in the middle of a crowded venue. So they must turn around and pick and approach the first set that scared them the most at once! Fear is their guide.

Pick up and intuition

It is not unusual for a guy to do the toughest set in a club and get the girl. Why? Because he had to tap into resources that he didn’t know he had. He kind of had to step up to the challenge. Once they listen to that inner intuition, they take more risks in the field. The more risks they take the better results they get.

Other times a girl tests the guy hard all night. She forces him to reach deep inside for that intuition and come up with creative solutions. It is not coincidence he gets the lay.

COACH INSIGHT
I remember one time years ago after running routines and openers for 4 hours (newbie mission) I was exhausted. I wanted to go home. I had only failure all night. Even fatties were dissing me. I got so outcome-oriented that I couldn’t hook a single set. I sat down on the sidewalk, destroyed. Everywhere I saw people having more fun than me. I looked up to a bar and through the glass I saw 2 girls. I said, “one last set”. I went in, blew it open and 2 hours later I was banging the hotter one in her own living room while the other one listened from her room. In retrospect, I should have gone for the threesome.

Tapping into your deeper self

The little voice inside your head that tells you when something feels right or you are just off your internal compass treading on water. You have to train and retrain yourself to listen to that core sense of destiny, intuition, etc. Or whatever you want to call it.

Remember:
Lots of guys fall prey to acting according to pick up community rules or acting as if they have to prove they are good. Of course it all conspires against them in the field. The moments you had great success was when you were inspired by something inside.

Steps to success
- Do you often do things that feel right to you, not just for others?
- Are you listening to your fears in the field while talking to women or do you take initiative?
- Do you talk to her when you should be kissing her?
- Do you avoid talking about relevant information about yourself in favor of “cooler” stuff?

The Next Guy

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In this Article
- Peer pressure and its consequences
- Withstanding the urge to be “cool”
- Peer pressure and performance in Pick up
- Embracing past experiences and moving onto the future
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I have spent the last two years writing “The Physical Game Book” (Coming out September 1rst this year, watch out!), I have had time sometimes to pause and reflect about my life before/after learning “game”. You probably have done the same. So at times it blows my mind how my perspectives about my past have changed.

High school

I was looking at my high school pics and trying to remember who is who. Most of the gang disbanded and they are scattered in different countries around the world, some have children, etc...

I cannot help but think of the tremendous influence those high school friends had on me growing up. From the clothe I wore to the attitude towards women, they moulded my opinion and the way I behaved in social situations. They defined what was cool and what was not. My parents had little or no hold over me anymore. It was the peer group who superimposed their personalities, likes, dislikes, etc... It was a dictatorship. A dictatorship upon my behaviour and overall attitude. I had to conform or else...I would lose major cool points with the “in” crowd- approval is the word. Looking back it is sad but no less true.

My high school friends were a bunch of heavy metal wannabe's and posers. They had the hair, the attitude but nothing to back it up. They were a bunch of losers. Today they hold menial jobs-married early, had kids, no studies -- and have gotten nowhere in life except for 1 or 2 exceptions. It is funny that those exceptions were guys that were not so “cool”. They didn’t care much about the group’s approval.

“It is enough. I am out of here”

I remember going on a road trip with 3 of them, the heart of the gang, trip which by the way I was talked into. Being weak minded and trying to fit in I said yes and went along with it. I was just trying to get their approval.

Of course, on this road trip we didn’t have a car or money. We would just sleep in train stations, beaches, travel at night etc. It was the most retarded stupid idea ever. Looking back I am appalled that I agreed to do that shit.

To make a long story short, I abandoned the trip towards the end. We were 2 days away from going home and I remember all of us going into a pizzeria to eat and I said to them “fuck all of you. It is enough. I am out of here”. Something inside of me shouted to stop. This doesn’t feel right.

Of course, I lost major cool points when I got back to my high school and had to face my “cool/loser” friends. I don’t think my reputation ever recovered. I was considered “not reliable” for quite some time. I lost their approval.

The Problem

It is very simple. This happens usually when you are with your friends out. Unless your friends are tuned into who you are and your desires and are truly supportive, when you see a girl you like and you go “I want her”, there is another voice, peer group’s voice, that goes “you don’t want to be rejected in front of the guys; you will lose major cool points”. Then you don’t approach based on your peer group’s opinion and you lose a major opportunity to meet a girl you like. The dictatorship is back again. Peer pressure reared its ugly head under a different disguise: to look good in front of friends.

Remember:
People think of peer pressure as a teenage thing but it is not. It goes where ever and whenever you go. I remember my novice attempts to pick up girls surrounded by my friends and being blown out and my friends making fun of me. Of course, they would never approach but surely enjoy the show. Then when I got really good and picked up a girl in a bar on a company dinner, my office peers-including girls- started telling me I was too sexual out there and how dare I to pick up a girl on a formal company dinner. You can never win! But girls in the office started to look at me in a different way.

Peer pressure and performance

I have done hours of practice in my salsa moves and as soon as I step on the dance floor I shrink and stay with the “safe stuff”- things I know I can do. Because of that, my salsa dancing stops evolving. The pressure of having onlookers is too strong and you are afraid to fuck up. Better stick to what works. I have to literally force myself and look like an idiot for a while until I am ready to execute my new stuff. If I have a fun partner, like some of the girls in my class, I would probably unwind faster and I will be loose in no time.

COACH INSIGHT
I have heard similar stories from advanced guys in the game when they go out with their “pick up gang”. It paralyses them the prospect of being rejected in front of the “cool, pickup friends”. It hurts their game. Unless your pick up gang is a supportive one you will run into this down the line. People that go out with you should be a rock of positivity and enthusiasm for the game or you are better off alone.

If you started to learn pick up because you wanted to stop being a loser-show everybody you can have a hot girl- you will run into a lot of trouble when you execute. You will not be able to stand being a loser-losing girls- in front of others. Because you came into the game to prove a point....to others. This is actually the root cause for most of your problems with rejection. Are you doing this for you or for the others?

Remember:

Most people are not truly supportive. Pick and choose the people you go out with on the basis of positivity, unconditional support and coolness. In my Instructor Crew (Goran “The Gore”, Paul, Matt) negativity has no place. There is unconditional support for everybody even though sometimes we make ridiculous bets on who is pulling that night or not; we always keep a camaraderie and fun vibe in the air. Your wing must be as excited about you pulling as he doing it himself. If not, drop your wing and get a new one. I remember going out with Tim on a Greece RSD retreat of Glory, and he was just as excited about me pulling than he was about pulling himself even though at times it would mean one of us had to leave the room and sleep on another guy’s room or fuck a girl in the swimming pool surrounded by chodes watching. Or get your ass full of sand because you could only fuck on the beach. Lol. God, I hope he is reading this. Fun times!


Looking Back and Looking Forward

I fully embrace what happened in my teenage years but I can’t help but think of things I would have done differently. No use now of course. However, looking back, it taught me a valuable lesson. I guess the lesson goes along the lines of “not give a fuck to what people think”. It is a lesson that gets relearned every single day of my life.

On the course of the week I have innumerable temptations to do what is appropriate and what others would like to see me do, that includes, girlfriend, friends, business, etc...The pressure is always there for you to act out of people’s intentions and not your own. Today I make it a habit to listen to that inner voice. It is a full time job.

Steps to success
- What would it mean to be yourself and disregard what your peer, colleagues, family think?
- Are your Pick up friends unconditionally supportive? Will they give up winning themselves for you to win? Would you be willing to do the same for them?
- Do you get sidetracked by the temptation to please others like boss, family and friends? Do you thing you gain or you lose?
- Were you attracted to pick up to please your friends or “in” crowd aka impressing others? Do you try to impress Pick up people on line?

Profile of the Risk Taker

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In This Article
- Definition of a risk taker
- The value of not assuming anything
- How to identify whether you are growing or shrinking in the game
- Psychological safety devices that keep us down
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(This article refers to parts of my new book “The Physical Game” coming out September 1st, 2010)

Profile of the risk taker
1. Do first, ask later.
2. Doesn’t make assumptions
3. Finds out for himself
4. Sees failure as part of the process
5. Try again
6. Never deviates from goals
7. Commits to goals and disregards whether he performs well or not.

The risk taker always walks up to the toughest set around, opens and disregards the outcome. He understands unless he challenges himself he can’t truly get anywhere in the game. Getting somewhere doesn’t mean performing perfectly. A risk taker is after growth. He understands that growth is an uneven process. It is not linear. You grow in spurts. You can spend a long time going after something and nothing happens for a while. You must understand that this is part of growth. You just hit a plateau. Rewards are around the corner if you keep at it.

Never take anything for granted
Pointers when you approach

- Neutrality. Never think it is going to be neither too easy nor too difficult. Understand the self-evident truth that social situations are neutral -- our mind taints them with fear. But you are safe. Nothing bad will happen from a girl dissing or rejecting you. If anything, you will grow.
- Positivity baseline. Never think the guy with her is the boyfriend, the friends will be mean or unfriendly to you. Don’t assume anything. Have a baseline of positivity that things will work out for you no matter what. No need to be Tony Robbins on steroids. Gregarious encounters are neutral so there is nothing to be afraid of. Chill out and enjoy the ride.

Are you growing or are you shrinking right now?

We are in a constant state of flow; nothing in you remains the same. At a specific moment in time, either you are growing or shrinking. One little measuring device is to ask yourself,  “Right now, am I growing or shrinking?” and be honest when you answer that.

If you are not growing, it is likely you are not challenging yourself in the field. Then you are shrinking; remember you are never static.

COACH INSIGHT
It is impossible to grow without risk-taking. Risk-taking implies daring yourself to do things you are too scared to do: opening the hottest/toughest set around, going hardcore physical, going for the kiss close etc. You can make a list of “dares” in a club and go after them relentlessly. Once you have gone through your entire list, you will feel powerful. You grew.
Make this your M.O. in the game. Destroy all your personal myths around it. You know the type, “I can’t do this or that”, “It is hard to do this or that” etc. All those limiting beliefs need to be shattered through risk-taking.

Risk taker and rewards
Remember:
Only rewards will come to the risk takers. “Safe players” don’t get rewards. They get punished in the field. A woman doesn’t reward cowardly behavior.

A big payoff comes attached to a lot of risk-taking. Unlike finances, you don’t get paid for being cautious in the field. If at all, a player testing the waters only succeeds at eliciting suspicion in females. Girls ask themselves “Why is he here?”, “What does he want from us?” Like it or not, you will be rejected on principle.

Lose your respect for failure by failing. Failing is never as bad as you thought. It might actually arouse you to have a hot girl telling you off in the middle of the club. I know it arouses me. The way I see it: “I already hit bottom: the hottest girl shoved me off, so it is all up from here.” But that’s just me. I am twisted like that. However, I get big payoffs from this attitude. I am rarely negative in the field. I don’t take rejection personally. I sometimes turn those rejections around by throwing positivity back at them etc. I get a kick out of being challenged. Most people don't.

Psychological safety devices

Perhaps most of your hesitance in this game is a psychological safety device you have been holding on for too long or too strongly. It keeps you from exploring your dreams and passions. Ask yourself “If fear of failure was not a problem, what would I go after in the field?”.

In my weekend live program in field, I tell students that I refuse to do a paint job good for a weekend only. I want them to dig deeper in the course of the weekend within themselves and find what’s holding them back and challenge it. At first they don’t like this because most students look for a magic pill to solve all their problems. As the training commences they start to like the idea of thorough cleansing of their mental cobwebs. They embrace the idea that lasting change must be earned, not given. Freedom will not be given to you; it must be taken. You must go through the process.

Steps to success
- Are you growing or are you shrinking in the field?
- If fear of failure was not an issue, what groups or girls would you go after?
- Are you taking risks in the field or only doing things that feel safe? If you feel safe does it mean you are growing?

I keep saying that to Goran and Paully (as if those guys need to hear this from me; they don’t. They are a public menace, social terrorists disguised as regular guys) as we walk into a super-crowded venue on a Saturday program and I dive into my first set of the night.

If you are going to lose, lose big -- I do the toughest set around, regardless of the outcome. Walk into the middle of the fear, stay there, and bring it to submission. Last weekend, I approached a 4 set, hottie blonde to my right, fat girl, ugly and a group leader. The pack leader was a tall brunette with quite some mouth on her. She started fucking with me right off the bat. “Do you have an obnoxious question to ask us?” I ignored question and retorted “you look Spanish. I want to take you home with me”. She loved it because after all group leaders want is attention. I proceeded to ignore her and game the blonde to my right who started engaging me enthusiastically right after I neutralized group leader. These things happen within seconds of starting the interaction. If you don’t flinch, you can get many sets going that way.

I have made a habit of befriending group leaders and I try to pass that on to my students. However, I understand you need quite a bit of a cold head to identify them because they are not apparent. It is easy if they jump at your throat right away. You know you got your leader. So the rest is easy. You must pay attention.
But if you are transfixed with fear, you are not in the moment and you don’t see the silver lining in those aggressive girls. Those group leaders become key when we extract later on. They hold all the keys to your girl’s pussy.

All You Can Do Is Win.

I think winning is an aspect of the game that takes time to set in. You are a winner. Not for the society-induced way of richness and fame, but because you have carved up an abundance mentality around women. A mindset that reads “I can’t lose” is the best mindset to have...



Walking Away Too Early

When it is uncomfortable, you walk. You leave groups that could potentially yield lays for you but your outcome dependence makes you walk away -- time to go back and watch that Blueprint DVD again. I have come across guys who can recite entire sections of the Blueprint but can’t grasp this basic idea of freedom from outcome.

But when you realize there is nothing to lose, you become naturally excited. There is no need for “state” or “state related” mumbo jumbo, nothing but just another excuse, all bullshit to substitute your need for assurance when confronted with feared scenarios.

Welcome the uncomfortable as part of the deal. The deal that will make you “rich” or abundant. If this game was comfortable, everybody would be getting laid with no effort. So by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, you are doing the right thing, not the “ideal” thing.

The Ideal Thing

The fallacy of the perfect set: you walk in, girls dig your opener, you get them asking you how come you look so hot in those clothes, group leader introduces you to the hottest chick who is, by the way, single and horny for you. They conveniently leave you two alone (isolation), your girl proposes to change venue “just with her”...etc.

Get the picture.

It is not going to happen. Wake up.



“Welcome to the desert of the real”. Morpheus, the matrix.

It is all we got. It is up to you to make the best of it.

Keep Looking for El Dorado



Let’s go to handy Wikipedia for a definition, shall we?

“Utopia is a name for an ideal community or society, that is taken from Of the Best State of a Republic, and of the New Island Utopia, a book written in 1516 by Sir Thomas More describing a fictional island in the Atlantic Ocean, possessing a seemingly perfect socio-politico-legal system. The term has been used to describe both intentional communities that attempted to create an ideal society, and fictional societies portrayed in literature”

I know that even though I am writing all this, in the back of my head I keep looking for an ideal world for me -- only human. One where my needs will be met without too much trouble. I keep searching the universe looking for answers that are hard to come by.

However, I realize there is only one ideal world in the inner world. Outside, it is too messy. It was never intended to be perfect. Life is rarely in accordance with our plans. People call this the 4th dimension. The inside dimension, where all things start and end.

This pick up thing started inside of you, like a little seed, otherwise called an idea. “Could I do that?” “Could I get laid like my “natural” friend?” etc. then you got into internet pick up forums and the rest is history. It started inside. Perfectly imperfect. Nothing sexy about it.



Looking for ideal situations, perfect opportunities and scenarios is futile. It keeps you from taking action. The only rule is “dive in, do the best you can”. That seems to be ideal for me.

(Fair warning: probably my corniest article to date. Meaning I don’t expect you to relate much to what I say here. But hey, it is free. Enjoy!)

It all started small. People would compliment me and I would feel awkward and tense. At first I didn’t pay much attention. Then it grew up and it became almost a default reaction to compliments. It was simple. I couldn’t take compliments. I was perpetually discontent with who I was. Actually compliments brought up the worst in me. “Am I worth it? Is that really me? I know I suck sometimes”, so went my selftalk.



If it was my girlfriend who gave me the compliment, it was not valid because I was banging her. If it was a student it was not serious because the student was on a BC high and just super excited. If it was my company, they are just doing their jobs, it cannot be real.



Bottom Line

I didn’t like myself no matter what I did. Discontent was permanent. It all came down to lower self esteem- I needed to do something, achieve something, win something, be the best at whatever. Horse crap. And the joy of achievement is short lived. It is so fleeting it barely lasts longer than 20 minutes. I might as well get high on alcohol. It is the same shit. I got tired of chasing futile dreams that won’t bring long lasting joy.

Fear Of Non Achievement And Paralysis

Well without achievement what am I? A big nothing. Undependable, untrustworthy, a big none. How can I reconcile my need for achievement with the need to truly feel lasting joy?

The Myth Of Permanence



Actually deep down I believed that positive things could be permanent. It was a big head fuck. I thought that I could be good all the time, do right all the time, feel good all the time, etc...And that in itself is misery.

Nothing is permanent. It is against nature. With achievement I was just trying to perpetuate good feelings. But it is the nature of feelings to not stay with you, no matter what. You can not feel truly miserable more than 20 minutes. Try and time yourself. Same applies to jolly feelings.

I was not after real achievement. I was after good feelings. I was after a mirage.

Hey, I Am A Good Guy

It all came down to admitting I am a good person and that I have something to offer to the world. Something unique. My contribution. However small it was mine. Good guys do that. I need to admit that even though I might screw up big here and there I am still good. Nothing is wasted. Even one hour in the tube, where the train stops for no reason, it is a good hour. I don’t have to do anything in particular.

Pick Up And Permanence

Most guys want to extend their good performance to all their actions in the field. This in turn sabotages them. Why? Their state is defined by whether they succeed or fail in the approach. Their state goes up and down because good/bad performances in a club scenario largely depend on a variety of factors not under your control.

Try To Fuck Up



Pay attention to where Kasparov says that in every successful game there were a number of mistakes.

I send the students all the time into “failed missions”-chances of succeeding are none. I want them to get resilient at making mistakes. It turns guys on to feel they can fail and nothing happens. They always come back to me and say “It went well”. What? It means they are ok with making mistakes. Their state is not affected by failure no more. Performance doesn’t define who they are. They go on to achieve things for real without the strain of “having to be perfect every time”

What Is Your Contribution To The World However Small?

What is that you offer that it is unique to you and you give to the world without effort. No matter how small you can bring something which is usually under your awareness level. “Hey, I can touch my nose with my tongue”. Open like that. “This morning I made a fantastic bowl of oatmeal, then I put some raisins in it and I made the perfect breakfast”. Open like that.

Don’t care about the consequences. Let the chips fall where they may.