May 20th, 2018

You will find most people are friendly and take you in as long as you don’t behave like a weirdo and are cool. No need for sophisticated strategies or tactics here. Be enthusiastic! That’s about the only rule I have.

It is unlikely worst case scenarios will arise. Nobody will bite you head off for talking to them. Nobody will beat you up. Guys with girls you approach will be super friendly for the most part, provided you talk to them and are cool. Nobody gets into fights unless they are looking for them.

As to people being rude to you, most people will be polite when dismissing you. Girls that don’t want to talk to you will say “we have to go the toilet” or “we are going back to our friends” and excuse themselves.

So what’s the problem when approaching? Well, the real problem is fear itself. Fear of the unknown. Your fear of doing something new that you haven’t done before. Once it is done and repeated over time, it becomes simple and normal to do. Most guys struggle with unfamiliarity. Approaching strangers in a club is not something they are in the habit of doing. With time they get used to it and fear dissolves.

Just like bank robber Willie Sutton’s famous answer when asked why he robbed banks: “Because that’s where the money is.” The reason we approach in clubs because that’s where the girls are. Hundreds of them in one place.

Why not make a lot of questions

Making a lot of questions is another nasty effect of “my mind goes blank when I talk to girls”. Because they are trying to impress a girl, most guys run out of things to say in a hurry. Their minds cannot keep up with the stress of producing stories or recounts that would get them the desired approval from females. Out of desperation they turn to questions. Why? Because they are easy. No need to be a genius to produce 20 unsolicited questions. “What’s your name?” “Where are you from?” “Where do you live” “do you like the music here?” and so on.

It doesn’t take much to understand that most people will be turned off by this. It is so common in my trade that we gave it the name “interview style”. Instead of talking with a girl, a normal chat, you go into a “job interview”. Because every guy does this when they don’t know what to say, most girls have seen it all many times and are repelled by it. Most girls will just excuse themselves and leave and others will be rude to you and leave. That’s about the outcome of such a style. It is a no-no. As in don’t you ever.

What topics of conversation once I am in?

First thing, I wouldn’t talk about anything that doesn’t amuse me in the first place. If I see the conversation going in a direction I don’t like I cut her off with something like “that’s great but check this out”, and I change the topic into something I enjoy like salsa dancing or Barcelona-where I used to live-, etc. Most guys have problems with this because they think is impolite. Well, being the nice guy will not get you girls. Approval seeking only will get you into “try hard” territory-read most women will lose interest fast.

Once you get down to it, and by approaching lots of girls, you will find yourself talking about your personal interests and things you are into. One student said after the first night of live program “I have opened girls talking about pineapples, tap water and my country. So simple. ”

It is simple because-as you will find out after you approach hundreds of girls-what you talk about, the content, is irrelevant. The feelings, emotions, and general vibe you are bringing into the interaction will account for as high as 90 percent of your approaching success.

On nights you feel good, positive, enthusiastic you will float to success. On other less inspired nights, you will have to make it happen out of cheer muscle work. We are only human. I wish there was a button to push to make us execute to perfection but there isn’t. Don’t give yourself a hard time for it. Regardless of your level of skill, you will have nights where you tank. Get over it. Tomorrow is another day.

Token resistance or why you want to love ploughing thru

It is a given. When you first come in and introduce yourself, they are all asking themselves “who in the hell is this guy?” the question pops for a second in their head, and I have even recorded this on camera myself-yes, I have approached girls with a camera in my hand aimed at them, sue me. I can stop pause the video at the exact point when this question is going thru their mind-in fact I show it to my students during my seminars.

If you don’t know what I mean, think when a stranger stopped you for directions on the street. There was a split second there when you asked yourself “who is this guy, what does he want?”, but then your mind went “it is ok, he just needs help”. All happens fast. You pass a quick judgment on that guy as to “safe or not safe”.

Same happens with girls. At the beginning they make snap judgements that are activated in split seconds. Those judgments run along the lines of “is this guy cool or lame?” especially if you are trying too hard to impress them right off the bat, they go “lame” and turn their back on you. Sorry guys. Girls don’t have much time. Remember their biological clocks are ticking. They are looking for guys with potential for breeding.

Token resistance is just a screening mechanism girls develop over the years of meeting guys. They are programmed to give you some kind of resistance at the beginning to see if you are strong, sort of a test to pass. That’s why I love it when they give it to me. I see it as an opportunity to show her I am not your average Joe. I want to push through that initial wall and have a big chance at converting the interaction into a lay.

It is a fact that unless you are used to getting through that kind of resistance you won’t get laid often. Most of the students I have trained with amazing success during and after program are guys who aren’t fazed by this kind of resistance. Master ploughers as I call them. They even enjoy working their way through initial resistance.

Reality check: If you are looking for positive reactions right off the bat towards you-so called approval seeking in game lingo-, you will be pigeon holed under “entertainer” or “lame” labels. In both cases girls lose interest fast. Most guys that abandon ship early or give up on a girl too soon do it because they don’t get the reactions or approval they were looking for right away. Since girls are programmed to screen males and not give approval right away, those guys end up bouncing off girls all night and getting zero results.
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