May 20th, 2018
The other day I was doing one of my classic drills on BC where zero self talk is required and I happened to be doing it with yet another brilliant guy. For some reason he was incapable of doing it. We went back and forth but he couldn’t... I kept at it, encouraging, pushing, trying to relax him and he started doing it right towards the end. He seemed to shut the self talk off for a while.

Self talk
You will find yourself at your peak when you are able to shut the mental chatter off. Smart people have trouble with that. They are in the habit of intellectualizing everything. They seem to weigh the pros and cons of every decision before they do something. This, no doubt, is a killer of game. It will make you hesitant.

The best players have a quality of zero self talk that makes them extremely effective in the field. In the field, little or no self talk is required. Self talk is actually bad for you. You will notice you climb huge positive peaks when your self talk is at the lowest.

It is literally impossible to feel good and be happy and have any kind of self talk. Self talk tends to be reduced as we focus and get in a flow. Actually the word “flow” is very much related to not having any mental cobwebs. Just “flowing” like a river would.

Analysis and stalling, another name for AA?

It is when you can’t make any forward progress because you bog yourself down in useless details, pondering, weighing the opposed to getting on with it. Sound familiar?

While it is perfectly natural to want to spend time pondering about a plan, especially one with elements of risk involved, there comes a point where any more thinking goes against its accomplishment and you need to start making some real progress.

Planning is good. Failure to plan is planning to fail. But too much can be as destructive as not enough.
It is pretty common in this community to have a guy reading material for a year and a half or sometimes 3 or 4 years without doing a single approach. The guy knows everything there is to know about pick up but fails to execute in the field. In his mind he has to be ready first. By ready he means, I got to have all the angles covered, all the openers, all the possible situations as he devours pages and pages of pick up related stuff. He plays the game in his mind over and over.

Then he comes to BC and it is a shocker that he doesn’t need 90 percent of all that knowledge to approach a girl. The game is simple.

I remember in executive training in my old job, there was this pamphlet being passed around about Collin Powell, the guy in charge of the US Military campaign in the Middle East,’s management style in which he claimed he would make decisions with as little as 40 percent of the information. Most managers in my old company frowned at that. Needless to say my old company was known for long 4 hour meetings that would yield no clear decisions. They couldn’t understand that more information doesn’t necessarily equal better decisions.

Some good pointers to break procrastination are the following:
1. Agree on a point in time to get something done...and get it done or die trying. Don’t allow yourself to float into the nothingness of no dates.

2. Get reckless. Yes, act like a lunatic for a while. Go kamikaze for a while. If you are the typical procrastinator, this will show you the power of actions over ideas.

3. Make up your damn mind! Yes, shit or get out of the pot. Start small: what cloth to wear tonight for the club?

4. Gain momentum....does 3 or 4 approaches on your way to the club. Don’t wait for the situation to be perfect.


I like this list of excuses I found on a web page. These are real excuses parents gave for their children not to go to school. Some have gross spelling mistakes in them. Enjoy.

“Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her

“Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30, 31, 32, and also 33.”

“Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip”

“John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face”

“Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part”

Smart people, because they are brilliant, can produce extremely compelling arguments NOT to do something. They are hand downs the best excusers in the world-from “I am not good looking enough” to “she is not hot enough for me”... If you let them, they can argue their way into sitting by the bar and getting drunk without approaching a single girl in the whole night. They love to give arguments, pros and cons of such and such method of pickup, etc.

Bad for pickup.

That’s why most of the best guys that I know are either dumb or have a knack of minimizing self talk or reducing it to zero as soon as they get into a club. That’s the quality that I am after when I teach bcs. All my drills, tactics and strategies to teach aim at eliminating self talk.

You could say “what about positive self talk?” Very clever. Smart point I tell you. You will notice when you are in the “flow”, that self talk is all gone. You seem to be in the present moment, not in the past, not in the future. And yes, you will be positive without trying.
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I’ve dated a lot of girls that I’ve met from cold approaches, but I’ve also dated a lot of girls that I’ve met by using my skills at doing cold walkups to random girls to build a social circle of amazing girls, all of who have introduced me to their attractive girlfriends. The way I view a social circle is that a social circle is like having a boat with a giant net to catch fish instead of pickup, which is more similar to going fishing for 1 fish at a time.

Growing up in grade school, my social circle was relatively small, and it consistently mostly of people from my school and sports. However, outside of sports and school, I’d rarely hangout with these people. Thus, while attending the University of Wisconsin – Madison, I was determined to have an awesome social circle from the get-go. So I started throwing amazing parties, hung out every day with new friends and girls from the dorms, and I valued my relationships with my friends above and beyond anything else.

I found that by developing a fun social circle, I’d always have lots of interesting women around me and gave me plenty of opportunities to meet new girls. Developing a social circle became a passion of mine, but it got replaced by my newfound addiction to picking up girls.

For the first couple years of living in Los Angeles, my entire social circle revolved around Real Social Dynamics; however, I decided to make a change when I joined the young Hollywood socialite party organization, Xenii. Every Friday, we’d have all-night parties at movies studios, and, every Sunday, we’d have all-day parties by the poolside of mansions of other members in the club. Some of the sexiest girls in LA were at these parties.

My favorite Xenii summer poolside party at the mansion of the CEO of Bear Stearns.

When I started going to events, I didn’t know anyone and I was going solo, but there were regular poker events at the parties and I’d sit down to play poker and network with the guys there. My poker skills were pretty good because I used to spent hours playing poker on the internet while listening to CDs about how to pickup girls. And I always enjoyed meeting new people.

All of the guys who were members had similar interests so I found myself hanging out with a bunch of them to go to bars, make them my wingmen on trips (ie Mardi Gras in New Orleans), and to hangout at restaurants or house parties. Although my friends never studied how to pickup girls, they would walkup with me to meet girls and I’d carry the set. On the other hand, some of them were total closers with the ladies and would frequently hookup with new girls.

When I was not at the poker table, or hanging out with the other members, I was constantly doing cold approaches of girls and gaming them up and exchanging contact information. Soon, the girls and guys that I met would introduce me to their friends, and this adding perpetual motion to allow me to grow my social circle.

Sometimes, I would a female friend that I didn’t have an interest in hooking up with, so I’d do a double date with her with a cool guy friend of mine, and she would hook me up with a hot female friend as well. When I introduced the girls to really cool guys, they’d appreciate that and help me hookup with their girlfriends. And they would hookup me up with high quality girls because I introduced them to high quality guys.

I started doing this so often that I had one month where I literally had a date with a different girl every night of the week. Many of them were from cold approached myself as well as from introductions via my social circle. I’ve always been the kind of guy to field test everything to see how it would help me get hot girls.

Whenever I would go to the Xenii events, I’d text message all the other guy members that were my friends to make plans to meet up, and I’d also text message all the girls that I met at Xenii and outside of it to invite them to the events. The girls appreciated this because the events that I invited them to were absolutely amazing, and they would bring their friends along. What started off as a small handful of girls joining me eventually became several dozen girls rolling to the party with me every night. I became somewhat of a party promoter or a VIP Host.

In fact, I spent about 2-3 hours/week text messaging my social circle. Good thing I had the unlimited Verizon Wireless text message plan.

Every text message I sent out with hard sell whatever party or event that I would be involved with to make it sound like the coolest party, whether or not it was the best party or not because I knew it would become the hot party when I contacted my list (and my list of girls and guys were loyal to me because I would always make sure my events were truly fantastic).

For example, when I would organize a dinner party one day, I sent out:

“I’m hosting a special event dinner party at Magic Castle tonight at I’d love for you to join me. There will be roaming magicians, great food and drinks, and a hot crowd in a trendy mansion full of secret passages.”

On the other hand, when I would travel to cities where I didn’t know many people, I’d do similar text messages by promoting whatever nightclub I was going to attend (even if there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary happening, but hype it up so that the girls and guys I met would join me:

“I’m posting a Red Carpet event tonight at Pascha so come join me. It’ll be the hottest thing in town.”

Sometimes, my friends would get a table so we’d have a private area for our invitees to party with us. Other times, we would just party away with the rest of the people we invited. Regardless, I had a great time, and so would the people that we invited.

Although not everyone would respond to my text message, a lot of them would RSVP or tell me they wouldn’t be able to make it, but that they appreciated the invitation. Either way, it kept my name fresh in their mind so they would reciprocate by inviting me out to other events as well. Whenever holidays came by, I’d wish everyone else the best via text message (ie Happy Valentine, Day. May all your deepest, wildest fantasies come true) via hundreds of texts.

Some girls didn’t respond to my text messages for a couple years, and would suddenly show up at my parties. I actually dated a girl who was in this situation. She was dating other people, but when she became single, she started going to my parties. Suddenly, we were hanging out on 1on1s outside of my regular parties and hooking up. This is why I never get rid of a girl’s phone number even if she isn’t responding to my texts at first.

And I knew that whenever I went to a particular party, I could help make it truly outstanding by bringing a lot of hot girls. One night, the NBA basketball player, Stephen Marbury, had a party at his Starbury Mansion in the Hollywood Hills, and I texted 400 girls I met, but 50 of them showed up (which is above the average 10% response rate that I usually get, which I consider pretty awesome for such a large list). Thus, almost all of the girls at the party were invited to it by me. So I would get invited to more private parties because I became known as a guy who knew a lot of girls.

This reputation would increase in status as my list of girls that I contacted on a weekly basis (or more often) grew from a few hundred to a few thousand. All of these girls I had personally met in real life via my social circle or via cold approaches. Some of my friends use Facebook and MySpace to contact thousands of girls they don’t know to invite them to parties. Others use email newsletters, but I’ve always wanted a more personal touch.

A lot of my friends became super promoters and popular socialites in Hollywood. Many of them modeled what I was doing and I was modeling the innovations that they were doing as well. I sometimes enjoyed the social networking and politics of Young Hollywood more than picking up girls, and many of my friends were in the same boat. We just loved the process of meeting new people and the excitement of new events.

Today, several hot girls rely on me for their social life to tell them about the hot parties in town. In addition to rolling to Xenii with hot girls, I’d text message girls telling them just to go to various hot nightclubs in town with me and sell the club as the hottest party around at that particular night.

Hanging with Snoop Dogg with Girls at a Movie Studio Afterhours Party

Also, whenever I met another person I respected, like successful CEOs, peers from Real Social Dynamics, or celebrated entertainers (ie the lead singer of the rock band, Candlebox), I’d invite them to join me at the Xenii events. Soon, I’d also get invited to go on exotic vacations with other Xenii members and I would travel to Sundance Film Festival, ski trips on Big Bear Mountain, and to rent mansions with other members at the concert festival, Coachella.

I really liked doing these travel adventures with my friends and social circle because it added the diversity of doing things outside of parties. One of the things I liked about Xenii was that every party was at a different venue, and they also hosted non-party activities, such as dinners, wine-tasting, cocktails at private residences, international VIP special event invitations, and they hosted a social networking site for us to organize our own events.

Thus, I started invited others to regular dinner parties and events myself in small groups. I enjoyed doing this very much, and it reminded me of a smaller-scale version of what I did at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, but with only a selective high caliber group of people.

To manage my social life, I built multiple lists of contacts to organize the various people in my phone. I’d store people in my phones under categories: hot girls, bottle service guys, friends, hot dates. After getting a 1000 people in my phone, I moved my contacts to Excel and also organized them by city because I was doing a lot of traveling. Soon, I had a couple thousand people in my phone and started using more rigorous software. I spent hours working my lists.

Girls who were on my party list would be moved to my “hot date” list if I started inviting them out for dinner or drinks outside of parties. If it didn’t work out, I’d move them back to the “party girl” list. Many girls would go back and forth my different lists. And I’d invite girls from one list to particular events and girls from other lists to other events.

I’ve now pride my skills in building a social circle as one of my strongest skillsets. I travel so often that I’ve learned how to land in a city and build an instant social circle. Sometimes, I’ll use social networking sites, like aSmallWorld (a private invitation only social networking site). I would post about how I’m traveling to a city and meet up with whoever was interested in hanging out.

Other times, I’ll just go out to the bars or other public places and start socializing with people. I’d do this both solo and with friends depending on whether I was traveling with companions or not. Either way, I have a very easy to model system on how to build a social circle and I am not confident that whenever I live in a new city for an extended period of time, I can quickly and easily create a group of friends and meet a lot of girls through it.

Whether I am inviting people to an elite party at the Playboy Mansion, inviting people to a dinner party, or casually meeting people for a beer at a local bar, I find that by having my head on building a social circle, my overall social skills with picking up girls and all other aspects of my personal development have improved as well.

It may be constant work, it is also a lot of fun, and similar to how I am a business man who has regular operations to manage, I’ve found that by running my social life like a business, it is very profitable.
34 Comments | 31,476 Views
2008 is going to get marked down as one of the most notorious years in history – America’s first Black president got elected, the subprime crisis continued to shake the world economy, millions of people lost their jobs, and all this was topped off by the infamous scandals with Madoff and Blagojevich that were unraveled towards the end of the year. There’s no shortage of even more bad news today either. Unemployment figures just inched up to 7.2% and it’s very likely that this recession is going to carry forward over the next few years. People are worried and scared. The world is changing. It’s going through a massive global restructuring and everyone’s reality is getting fundamentally disrupted in one way or another. 2009 isn’t off to a pretty start…

But wait – why am I writing about this, especially here, on a forum dedicated to game and self-development? Why not start off my first article with some smooth tactics and grounded pick-up theory for you guys instead?

I would, and definitely will in the coming articles, but it just doesn’t happen to be on my mind right now at this very moment. It’s January 2009. It’s the start of a new year and there’s a lot of uncertainty now, given all that’s happened in the world recently.

Yet, I also can’t help but to see this in a bigger picture and relate it to everything that we’re discussing on this forum about self-development. It’s weird, but deep down inside I’m actually really excited. Despite so many people losing jobs, our economy getting crushed, and bad news headlines hitting us every day, I’m relishing all of this. I quit investment banking two months ago and now I’m launching an internet start-up and I’m back working with RSD, but I’ve never been this focused and thrilled before with my life. While everyone’s scared amidst all this chaos, I see nothing but golden opportunities lying ahead.


One of the things that I’ve been reading over and over again is that it’s not good times or bad times that make or break a person – or even a company – rather, it’s the strength and perseverance of that person or company that’s ultimately going to dictate whether it ends up surviving and being successful ( You guys on this forum are testimony to this. If you’ve been hitting the field hard over the past several years, granted that you’ve went through strings of bad nights or even a dry spell here and there, you still held on and you’ve built up a skill-set that was well worth the time that you put into it.

Guys that get ahead in any endeavor in life think long-term. The guys that just dominate in whatever they put their mind to are frighteningly ambitious, and it’s a trait that I see in most of the instructors in our crew, as well as the students who tend to get awesome results. Whether it’s picking up women, accumulating wealth, getting in shape and looking good, or developing a positive outlook on life – ambition always wins.

How many of you guys really want to date models and tour some of the best parties in the world?

How many of you guys really want to be a multimillionaire?

How many of you guys really want to be in the best shape of your life and live every day to the fullest?

You only live once.

All of you are going to nod yes, but few of you will ever put in the work to get it. Fuck self-help. The difference between the guys that win and the guys that lose in the game of life is ultimately this raw ambition. It’s a drive that’s pushed humans forward since the beginning of time. It’s the killer instinct that you were naturally born with, but may have lost as you accepted society’s artificial rules and barriers.


The reason I’m relating all of this to business is because the guys that consistently get ahead in that “game” have all the right qualities necessary to do phenomenal in pick-up too. I see too many parallels between the guys who have excelled in both fields. Along with being ambitious, these guys are extremely self-reliant, persevering, and they have a strong sense of self. In business, you either win or you lose; there is no in-between – you either put out or you’re shut out. It’s Darwinian in the fullest sense. Nobody’s ever going to ever feel sorry for you if you fail. It’s your ultimate test as a man. You’re on your own and you will inevitably fuck up at several points along the way, but the only way you’ll get ahead is if you continually get back up and motivate yourself to keep on trucking. “Plowing” isn’t something you just do in set – it’s really something you do all throughout life.

Just say fuck it in 2009. A recession is looming and it’s a jungle out there, but you need to tap into that natural drive, relish the challenge, and smile back at the world. Tough times only strengthen the already-strong and weaken the already-weak – which one are you? This is a really exciting time to be living in and it’s going to be the biggest test of your strength and character. While everyone else is running around feeling dejected and confused, you’ll be eyeing new opportunities and making bold moves towards your goals.

Make your New Year’s Resolutions really count this year. The world is yours and there’s nothing stopping you. The resources are all here. All you have to do now is just go out and TAKE IT.

22 Comments | 12,307 Views
Hey now... it's your boy Jeffy here.

If you've followed Real Social Dynamics for any length of time, you know that not only are we about getting guys the results they want with women FAST, but we also bring a heavy dose of overall self-improvement to the equation. The thing is, if you have excellence as your mindset, then whatever you want in your life, you're going to have that. And that's why we have that emphasis on self-actualization in general.

To that end, in recent years I've become somewhat of a fitness freak. Back in 2006, I realized that my "moobs" (a portmanteau of "man" and "boobs" FYI) were becoming so pendulous and hefty that they would jiggle like Santa's proverbial "bowl full of jelly" each time I mounted a set of stairs.


Enough was enough. I decided that it was high time that this sorry state of affairs was brought to an end. And so "The Summer of Ripped Abs" was born.

Over the course of that fateful summer, I read all I could about fitness and so forth, diligently applying what I learned day in and day out in the gym. The results were dramatic. In a matter of months, I had accomplished what I had set out to do: attain a midsection reminiscent of a tray of friggin' ice cubes. BOOM.

Fast forward to today. I'm still in the gym, plugging away, continually learning and improving my physique little by little. The thing is, these days the results are not as dramatic from day to day. In fact, sometimes it can seem like I'm doing all this work and not really making any progress whatsoever.

This is the kind of thing that can make a guy just quit completely. Where it's seemingly become a routine for the sake of routine, with no visible progress.

Don't worry though, I'm not about to revert to the Pillsbury Hoe-Boy on your ass.

That's because this whole time, I've been taking meticulous measurements and recording my progress week to week. Each Monday, not only do I weigh myself, but I also take my body fat percentage using a set of calipers, take a tape measure to various areas of my body, and take a photograph for posterity. This way, I know for SURE that I am actually making progress, even if that progress is small and incremental.

For example, in the last month, both my body weight and fat percentage have fluctuated slightly up and down, but because my records are so meticulous, I can see that regardless of this my lean body mass has been steadily increasing. At the same time, the amount of body fat I carry has steadily dropped, even if by only a fraction of a pound per week.

So let's get down to brass tacks. "How does this relate to getting laid, Jeff? I'm not here to listen to you talk about your abs bro."

Glad you asked. The point I'm stressing here is the importance of consistently recording your progress as you endeavor to learn a new skill set.

This year, I've traveled the globe giving free talks on my vaunted "Jeffy Freedom Tour." In every speech, I ask the audience to raise their hands if they are consistently writing field reports about their nights out.

In every city, I'm shocked at how few guys raise their hands.

I am absolutely convinced that one of the reasons that I got good at picking up women as quickly as I did was the fact that I would ALWAYS write up a report after a night out.

I went to university for English Literature. I'm an English Lit chode. So initially, when I got into this community and started doing this stuff, I saw it as an outlet for my writing. Each and every night, I'd come home and write up that report. The net effect? I basically have a diary outlining every single thing I did, in excruciating detail, for a period of three years. That's something like 2000 posts (I could write a book... and actually, I am. It's going to be SICK, so keep an eye out for that in the near future).

I want you to read this article and get INSPIRED to get off your ass and write up some reports of your own, because this can really take your game to the next level. Start this process and before you know it, you'll be hearing me shout, "YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DOGG!" in a Scottish accent.

First, when you write a field report, it "lets you see the movie twice," as my friend Ozzie says. Often times, we go out and the next day, we just have a hazy recollection. Either it was "a good night" or a "not so good night." When you actually sit down and take the time to reconstruct the events, however, a lot of those details spring back into sharp focus. "So then I was talking to her and... OH right that's when she said THIS, and I responded with THAT..."

Frequently, it's during this process that you'll have those epiphanies and all of a sudden, you know EXACTLY where you lost the set, and it's practically guaranteed that you'll never make that mistake again. Hindsight is 20/20... but only if you actually take the time to look back.

If you're just plugging along, oblivious, there's no way to really tell on a day-to-day basis if you're actually making progress, because your vision is myopic... you're too close to the action. Going back to the fitness example, if I were to simply look in the mirror and try to determine what progress I was making from that alone, I wouldn't see anything really. It'd be like trying to watch grass grow.

That's why keeping track of your progress is so important. By writing reports, you can actually look back and see how far you've come. Furthermore, you can actually see if the way you're currently doing things is actually having an effect! If it's not, then change your approach. There's that old Albert Einstein quote, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result." It's the man who's willing to crucify himself relentlessly who becomes successful.

Another great thing about writing field reports and posting them onto RSD Nation is that you will get feedback, from some of the top guys in the world. Now look: a lot of the time, the feedback and criticism you get from a public forum is a mixed bag. I acknowledge that. But you learn who to trust, and once you've got that dialed, that feedback is PURE GOLD. When I was coming up in the game, I'd post up everything, warts and all (ok bad STD pun), and just sit back, ready to take the criticism. A lot of times, it was stuff that I didn't want to hear, but at the end of the day, I was willing to accept the wisdom of guys who were more experienced than me, and I can't begin to tell you how valuable that was. It literally shaved years off of my learning curve.

But wait, there's more! Yet ANOTHER benefit of writing field reports is that it gives you "street cred" in the community. From time to time, you'll see some guy with a history of like five posts put up a thread entitled, "Looking for Wings in the LA Area... EXPERIENCED ONLY PLEASE."


Now, think about this. This is some random dude. I can see the "experienced" guys sitting at home, reading the forum and they come across this. "Oh my god!" he exclaims to his friend, "Look at this! This random dude wants to roll with us! YEAH WOOO HOOOO AWESOME!! Let's go man!"

Uhh... yeah, right.

When I started posting back in the day, it was my field reports that attracted wings to ME. I didn't have to seek them out. it just sort of happened. I developed a bit of a "cult following" so to speak, and when Tyler and Papa came through San Francisco on their first world tour, they said, "Okay, who is a big name in SF? This guy jlaix seems pretty wild, let's see what this guy is all about."

The rest, as they say, is history.

With all these benefits, it boggles my mind as to why EVERYBODY isn't writing field reports.

And do you know what the best part about it is?


It costs you absolutely nothing to write a field report, except for the time it takes for you to actually put it together. But in my opinion, that cost is negligible when you weigh it against the myriad benefits.

"But Jeffy," you whine, "I'm just not a very good writer!"

Look dude, I'm not saying you have to be Shakespeare here. Even if your spelling is atrocious and your grammar sucks, it's IRRELEVANT (my favorite word in the English language). You're not competing for the Pulitzer Prize. At the end of the day, you're writing this stuff for YOU. And if you're NOT doing it at all, then I gotta tell you, you are doing yourself a serious disservice.

One of the toughest things as a writer is sitting down in front of that blank page and getting those first few words out. It's scary.

But you're not a punk, are you?

No, you're not.

So sit down, sack up, and start pumping out those field reports. And watch your game progress faster than you ever thought it would.

You can thank me later.

42 Comments | 24,564 Views