August 14th, 2018
Surrealism;43683 wrote:
I've been trying out some new techniques spurred from something cool I read on Tyler's blog that I wanted to try...let me know what you think:
-Tyler said on his blog that he would ask a girl "on a scale of 1-10, what is my friend?" In order to get the girl to approve of his friend and in-turn, get his friend laid...

I like this...but I actually have changed it slightly, and have been using it as more of a early qualification technique...
Allow me to clarify this concept... not that what you're doing anything wrong. It's awesome you're qualifying and being innovative. Remember, if you're not qualifying them, they're qualifying you. Here it goes:

The concept Tyler was talking about in his blog is a favorite in my playbook: value elicitation (Though he's using it differently as an opener, I believe that the most powerful and exacting time to use this is while in isolation and "comfort"-it's devastating. I don't think I would use this as an opener, but if I were to say something like this during a conversation, I would more likely ask to rate my friend's 'husband material' quality if I saw they had a vibe. To a girl it's funnier, more emotionally relevant, and IMO you are eliciting more accurate values you want her to express). I believe I talk about it to an extent in older posts from former hook ups.

Anyway, the concept at play is having her illicit her values. Pretty amazing stuff. After a girl elicits her values (it’s like an emotional compliance level), it subsequently emotionally forces her to search and identify those values with you. In other words, she's the one selling herself on you. It's your choice which values you want to express (ONS, FB, GF, husband material, etc.)

I know other “gurus” have talked about eliciting values, but I've taken this to whole new level from what I've seen. The next level, synthesizing a few PU concepts, is me eliciting my values while simultaneously leading and qualifying her on them. I consider this a significant piece of my "game" (which I won’t go into now). This ain’t no child’s play.

Here's an example of a simple mutual value elicitation (the majority of my qualifying and obvious leading has already been laid out in the conversational part):
I came up with this during a hook up in February with a gorgeous (solid '9') 20 yr old medical student from Holland while flying back from Rio, Brazil. She had just had the "time of her life" frolicking on some secluded beach with her boyfriend (who visited her from Holland) and was "in love".

Anal Sex

(WARNING: This is almost evil how devastating this is. I am a bad man. Since this has evolved, I only use this for "putting the final nail in the coffin" and speeding things up with girls I see myself pursuing for more than one night. Otherwise, it's just plain evil to give these girls these emotions and ditch her.)

During some amazing conversation lasting some 2+ solid hours into the flight, I ask Holland girl:

Me: Can you take a sincere compliment?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Me too. You first.

(I adapted Papa's old school sincere compliment opener and evolved it into my eliciting values model. Though I've never used this as an "opener" before, it just came to me. I was already leading the conversation, but my intuition told me I needed her to emotionally escalate more and faster)

This is powerful in a conversational dynamic. Every time I've said this, I've consistently been told the most amazing genuine compliments I've ever heard in my LIFE. Practice this after you know a girl likes you. After Holland girl gave me my compliment, I was so devastatingly impressed, that even 'I' was blushing. I liked this because it differentiated her from other girls and made me like her MORE. It was like she opened up her soul (gay) to tell me all the deeper emotions that she genuinely loved about my personality in a way nobody has EVER told me. Wow. She aimed to impress and she did. Again, note that I led her to express herself without judgment.

After this, I honestly told her how I was stunned by her comments (now, I'm an alpha dude so you can see the contrast-she’s earning me and doing a great job of breaking me down). She then asked me for her compliment, to which I replied that I've never been good at giving compliments (true) and don't think I could ever come close to the one she gave me.

In turn, I proceed to compliment her based on the positive values that she’s already expressed in our conversation leading up to this point. Being a compliment, I tell her how much I genuinely admire and like those values and give examples of why (i.e. I'm eliciting my values through the positive things I like about her-technically, I've been eliciting my values from the moment I sat next to her). Incidentally, Holland girl told me that I gave her the best compliment she's ever received.

So, within three hours of meeting on the plane, I've led the interaction to such a strong emotional connection that she now feels we’re soul mates finally finding each other (I know exactly what’s going on). I am in the midst of an emotional frenzy and could tell this girl to do anything and she'd follow (btw, most people only hope to feel this once in their life—and then marry that person).

Now, I've said this in past posts, but maybe now you can see why I've said girls routinely fall in love with me once they are in my web. My comfort and connection "game" is pretty sick. Better than anyone I've ever known anyway (props to growing up with cool sisters). Hey, we all have strengths.

This FR fragment was only an example of a mutual value elicitation that happens when you create strong lasting bonds with people (btw, I also used the compliment bit to seal the deal with Playboy model). The real work though is during the conversation, which sets up my strong, yet sincere, leading frame and allows me to ask for a compliment. Additionally, the sincere compliment really wasn’t necessary except that I had a flight time-constraint and strong boyfriend LMR (we were already attracted to each other—I just needed to get her into a certain peak emotional state fast).

Be Passionate. Make me proud.

34 Comments | 24,524 Views
Last week on program, as I opened the hottest group in my vicinity,

Hot Girl

and by far the hottest girl in the club that night - I open the sets nobody wants to open - I got some unlikely hardcore rejection coming in. The not-so-hot girl in the set put her hand in front of my face in a “Stop now” motion.


It is very unlikely for this to happen but when it does it never ceases to amaze me how much of a hard on I get -  I love the challenge. Why? I know this from experience: if I am able to turn this rejection around coming in, the girls in the set want to sleep with me. They get mesmerized by how easy I handle rejection.

Anyway, I stuck in, plowed and it turned out the not-hot girl was half drunk and her boyfriend too. Cool. Immediately the hottest girl want to talk to me and we initiate a chat and it turns out she speaks a bit of Spanish and we talk and get physical very quickly as she is leaning into me like a motherfucker. I can breathe her hottie smell. She is supper friendly as all truly hot girls are with no hang ups or inferiority complexes. Sooner rather than later her not-hot friend and boyfriend disappear leaving us alone. I introduced the hot girl to my student who is standing there watching me. He gets excited and goes kino on her ass.

Now, most guys would have walked away when they get this type of rejection coming in.


Unfortunately they don’t see the silver lining whatsoever. Rejection as an opportunity to show how strong you are internally.

I literally make guys provoke rejection in women in order for them to be able to survive a bad first impression. I give them all kinds of retarded openers, make them approach on one leg, make them open with embarrassing statements about themselves, make them approach women in “impossible” scenarios etc. All this to make them fail, get up, get over and keep walking. Just like a kid would do with no self-consciousness whatsoever.

Little children fall all the time, cry, get up and keep playing. That’s my ultimate goal with guys on program. No matter how many times they fall they must go back in time and become like a kid again: egoless, spotless, impervious to bullets.

Create Opportunities for Rejection

Most fear of rejection is killed when you realized it is not life or death. You won’t die from a rejection. Chances are you are likely to get excited because you dared to do something brave like opening the toughest set in the club etc.

Opportunities for rejection are plenty in a club. However, you can create them. Expose yourself to being blown out and you will grow faster in the game. The goal is not to avoid rejection but to lose our fear of it.

What I found in my own practice is the hotter the girl, the better. So if I get rejected by a hot girl it really turns me on to try it again. The bummer is that most hot girls are friendly and rarely have an attitude. It is just the skunks, midgets and fatties who are defensive. It doesn’t turn me on as much being rejected by a fattie since I have no vested interest in her talking to me.

“I Made A Fool Of Myself”

Most guys dread this. However, there is a major therapeutic value in looking like a fool sometimes. You won’t take yourself so seriously and approaching would not seem like a burden to you. “Now, I have to approach, puffff..”: most guys don’t want to look bad.

Read Mastery by George Leonard and you will find that a key to mastery is to risk looking like a fool, taking chances, risking being rejected etc.

I made a habit of looking bad in front of others. I do it so much I don’t even notice it anymore. I clown so much in public places with my students that I think I embarrass them half the time. Because I do this embarrassing things, my students are not afraid to look bad anymore. Most times we both do embarrassing things together while I film people’s reactions etc. after students see the film they get excited to find out how people don’t give a damn about what you are doing.

Making a fool of yourself should be your credo.

Guide to Look Bad

1. Write down your top 2 fears in a club
2. Put yourself in a situation likely to cause your top 2 fears
3. Repeat

Let’s say your top fear is “rejection by a hot girl”. So you must approach hot girls in order to elicit those fears in you. You will be surprised how those feared scenarios rarely happen. You will kill your fear.

Don’t Entertain Yourself with Your Dark Side

Refuse to evaluate those situations after you have dared to look bad. Don’t curse, criticize or otherwise flagellate yourself for looking bad. Your only goal was to look like an idiot. You did. Mission accomplished. You are golden. Keep doing it and you will eventually not even think about what you have just done. Get negative evaluations about yourself out of your system. You are a champ because you dared. You tried. Make this your only philosophy.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
36 Comments | 16,072 Views
Easy Way, Hard Way

Response based on earlier articles in this series
Focus Quote
I don't know. I never really focused on that. I just focused on the experiences I wanted and let the rest take care of itself (btw, I voluntarily got off the parents payroll when I was 18). Now, that being said, I've had a lot of help from my sister, friends and strangers that would always seem to help when I needed a pick-me-up the most. It's funny, but people always say I've got amazing karma because I've gotten into some real jams and they ALWAYS work out great. Granted, I've never been destitute and I've always worked hard. I've worked REALLY hard. It didn't matter what job I did I always did it the best of my capability--which I normally mastered.

Here are some examples of some of my thought processes and how I got into things. I was in the Navy and NOBODY could believe it. I am as independent as it gets and people knew that and couldn't believe it. I did it on purpose. It was a challenge and not what people expected of me at all. Out of respect, I also didn't want my adoptive father supporting me for the next 5-6 years of college, (there's more of that meritocracy stuff that I believe in), which he would have done. I joined the Navy and I never really liked the ocean or boats. My family's legacy was always Army. The ocean, in its infinite power, kinda scared me. Yet, I became a diver. I would never do anything normal or average because it doesn't challenge me.

Later I became an investment banker. I've always sucked at math and disliked it with a passion, but it was a challenge and I wanted to master the art of investments and numbers. I did it, and did it at a top firm. I willed myself into these things and mastered what I focused on. It wasn't easy by any means, but I gained immeasurable skills and ability. I guess from living in Italy and studying the Renaissance, I always admired the Renaissance men that mastered many crafts. On top of it, I hate being told I can't do something or that it's not possible.
2002?: The Infamous Venice trip where we temporarily bought a boat just so we could get the fuck out of town (this was taken minutes after getting off a boat and sure ‘nuff had a beer waiting for me. I nice surprise… 24 hours prior I had flown from Madrid to Bologna, stowed away on a train, slept on bench in Padova, made a new awesome Italian friend and swapped stories at 4am over a bottle of Sherry, and then reached Venice with no idea how I’d find my buds. The above is when I found them)

Dual Picture Left : 2007: Valley girls = Very Nice
Right: 1995: High School. Unfortunately my mom didn’t appreciate the kegs as much as I did. Fuck it. I had a blast throwing parties

There were things that I accomplished that opened opportunities that I never would have had otherwise i.e. graduating from a top school, search and rescue in the Navy, etc. Life builds and connects itself in weird ways--there's no way I coulda planned at 20 for the way my life has gone. I always just stuck to a certain set of principles. To live my life free and aim for the impossible.

As for making things work out financially, I've never been more than 3 grand in debt (aside from the $3500 in college loans at 2.8% that never seemed to go away--regardless the interest was lower than inflation). I've always lived pretty comfortably and in some VERY pimp pads. To some degree I can be pretty damn extravagant (I hate cheap people and the way people can fuss over a few bucks-it can really seem like, to a degree, a waste of energy). I only buy top quality stuff, but I only buy things that I need or want and I take care of them. I am very much a minimalist. I've been forced that way, because I never know where my next opportunity may take me. I am always prepared to leave, if need be, at a moment’s notice.

While I was banking in Texas is when things probably got toughest for me. Near the end, when I was REALLY about to make a lot of money, I left. I was running MILLIONS of dollars in investments, but I didn't like where I was in life. At the time I had a house and a ton of furniture. I left it all in a matter of about a month and moved to Los Angeles after seeing Texas play Michigan in the Rose Bowl Game. While I was visiting, I was offered a job at MTV making comparably nothing and took it. All I brought with me were two loads of things that I could pack in my Jeep. I had recruiters banging on my door with lucrative job offers that I turned down. I rarely even listened or responded to them. My mind was made and my heart wasn't in it anymore. It took a ton of courage, but I knew I was done with that chapter in my life.

I can say or write all I want-I've told people similar things my entire life-but you will only understand this if you are bold enough to do things for yourself. Do what interests, excites, challenges, and scares you--always. Only you can figure this stuff out for yourself.

Flawless NYC
2008: Flawless Natural SuperConference, NYC
While I'm on it, I should say that I hardly plan for shit in the short term and always go with my gut. Last October, after spending 3 weeks with my near-death grandmother in a hospital in Iowa, on a moment’s notice I flew back to LA and 4 days later I was in Europe for 3 weeks. I did it based on a feeling that I had and felt I had to do it. I loved every moment (minus how cold London was) and looking back I see how important it was for me to do that at that time. It changed my life and I learned some really important lessons--it all happened because I followed my gut.

Simply put, my life has been about relentlessly curiosity, non-stop education, and finding truth. Tthen having the courage to take action on it.

And I don't think there's a person out there who could look at my life and not say I've lived a massively successful and fascinating life. Keep on it. Even asking questions show that you are on the path to finding the answers to evolve. Be relentless and have patience. Above all, stay positive and have faith.

To be Continued…

Live with Passion. Make yourself proud. Challenge and have faith in your life you’re meant to live.


Visit for more on Nathan and being whom you're meant to be
21 Comments | 19,903 Views
I’m very excited to announce that Real Social Dynamics has been accepted into the Inc Magazine’s “Inc 5000” List, ranking us as the 860th fastest growing private company in the world based in the USA.

Inc 5000
Screenshots from the Inc Magazine website of the Real Social Dynamics company profile.

In addition, Real Social Dynamics has been ranked as the 60th fastest growing private company in the Los Angeles area and the 59th fastest growing Consumer Products & Services company in the United States of America.

Over the last 7 years, we’ve grown into a company offering live programs in over 200 cities and 60 countries, consisting of a global network of over 400 people working together, offering almost 1000 live programs every year that has taught over 20,000 live program students, and this is mainly because of the word of mouth of happy students. So I want to also thank all of you for helping us to grow into the world’s largest dating coaching company.

I also want to let you guys know about some of the amazing things to come because after this year’s rapid global expansion plan, including me personally traveling to over 200 cities and 60 countries in the last 6 months during the RSD Free Tour workshop series (, we have some amazing new ideas in the works.

First of all, we are about to launch the most intense program on how to pickup girls that has ever been created. It is called the RSD World Summit ( and we already have over 200 people confirmed to attend the event in Las Vegas from September 28-October 4, 2009. So gather your friends and come join us in Vegas.

World Summit

To give you a preview though, the World Summit will include:

- Access to hot nightlife in Las Vegas and a RSD Photographer will be available to create a photo journal of the entire Summit's debacles.

- Celebration of Tyler's 30th Birthday (expected to be held at the 10-bedroom house of Adam Sowell, a new RSD Intern) with corporate alcohol sponsors and the party being DJ'ed by DJ Timothy Marc himself. Guest DJs may include DJ Ashley Taylor and DJ Style Wise. Participants will actually be involved with helping to plan, organize, and learn how to throw a big party.

- Mission Impossible exercises organized for students of any age group (including a custom mission for students under the age of 21).

- In-field videos from the Bootcamps of various Instructors.

- 4-hour seminars of each Instructor in RSD's Executive Coach staff

- Bootcamps being offered that weekend with any Instructor in RSD

- A chance to network and meet every member of RSD, including both the Instructors and Business Teams.

- Participate in a Global Mastermind Group in the fun environment of the City of Sin.

This event will not be recorded for mass distribution and we will actually have a security team outside of the conference room throughout the duration of the RSD World Summit to make sure no electronic devices (phones, computers, camcorders, or any other recording devices) can be brought into the meeting because we will be revealing secret field reports and hardcore videos that we only want made available to attendees participating at the event.

Secondly, there are several more books coming on the way. Of course, we have just released Nine Ball ( by Jeffy, which is the most fascinating piece of literature that I’ve read in my entire life over 432 pages in a hard-cover book. I thought I knew Jeffy until I read this book and discovered so much that I didn’t know. He basically walks you through the stories of having sex with over 100 women and the drama & adventures coming from it all.

Check out a preview of what you can learn from Nine Ball:

This book is so good that it should be made into a best-selling television series or a feature film.

However, soon you will see other amazing books coming from the RSD Instructor staff, including:

-Tyler releasing a unique book on relationships so that you can develop the skills to manage a success long-term relationship with the woman of your choice.

- Ozzie releasing a book on physical game so that you can develop the ability to escalate physically with girls quickly and easily.

-Tyler releasing the Blueprint book, which will contain new concepts that supplement the Blueprint Decoded ( to explain concepts about authenticity, psychology, and identity-level change so that you can develop a strong internal belief system that will help you in every aspect of your interactions with beautiful women.

-Alex releasing a series of books on his crazy adventures around the world and the lessons he learned.

-Tyler releasing a tactical e-book that will explain the Foundations about how to pickup girls so that you know exactly what to say and do when interacting with beautiful women.

… and several more books and programs coming from RSD Instructors (Nathan, Ryan, Brad, myself etc.)

Third, after traveling around the world this year, I’ve created several new ideas about how to run a series of new, innovative live programs that we will be releasing so that you will be able to have RSD instruction available in nearly every city in the world on a regular basis. Of course, we already do that with our bootcamps, but we will be expanding the scope of the live programs and they will be very intense, fun, and help add continuity for live program alumni.

Fourth, we will be offering monthly teleconference programs with our entire Instructor Staff to help provide training to you. We already offer this to our bootcamp alumni and Jeffy has spent the last year doing this as well for those people that have received special invitations. However, we will be marketing this to the public soon as well.

Fifth, we are going to be re-launching RSD Underground ( Although this site is defunct right now, we have invested over $100,000 in rebuilding a new infrastructure so that you will be able to see videos of our Instructors in action. You saw what amazing things we were able to do to RSD Nation after investing almost $200,000 into the new software, but you’ll be blown away by the new video infrastructure of RSD Underground.

RSD Underground

Similar to how RSD Nation has blogs from every Instructor via featured articles on the RSDN Homepage, we will be using RSD Underground to be our video blog and so much more.

On a personal level, let me tell you about some of the amazing things that has been going on in the personal lives among the RSD Staff.

I’m getting ready to fly to Washington DC for the Inc 5000 Awards ceremony. When I return to LA, Tyler and I are celebrating at the Playboy Mansion, where I am in charge of bringing 350 girls as the manager of the female guest-list. It feels so good to be back in LA as I take a break from my crazy “day-to-day a different city travel tour”. I’m looking forward to spending more time with my closest friends and family now that the RSD Free Tour is almost over.

RSD Free Tour

Right now, I am in the USA, but I have traveled to every continent around the world in the last year. I’ve been hanging out with the RSD Staff and volunteers in 70 countries around the world, but I also took a break with our Board of Advisors (a group of other highly successful CEOs) in Park City, Utah, where I picked up a hot girl, who later flew down to visit me in LA for dinner.

During dinner, Wolfgang Puck himself cooked a personal dinner for my date and I because Wolfgang wanted to meet me when someone at his restaurant told him that I was coming to his restaurant, Spago’s. Definitely made me feel lucky and I loved the food. Afterwards, I took my first vacation of the year in Las Vegas and Salt Lake, where adventures continued, including in-door sky-diving, spas, Le Reve cirque de soleil, and a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon.

RSD Global

Tyler has been doing bootcamps every weekend in Los Angeles, but he has also been trekking down to Phoenix/Scottsdale in Arizona with his instructor assistants. He’s been working out hard at the gym and hiking across California in his spare time.

Brad is touring around Europe for Special Event bootcamps and is available in any city in Europe for programs; however, Alexander is planning to take over his tour because Brad is planning on doing a USA tour after the RSD World Summit. He is using a new video camcorder team and setup to record some hot, hardcore videos (Jeffy, Ozzie, Ryan, Alex, and Tyler have recorded some amazing in-field footage to be shown at the RSD World Summit as well).

Jeffy is preparing for his Nine Ball Customer Appreciation Seminar for those lucky people that ordered Nine Ball book before September 5, 2009. The program will take place in a famous location from Nine Ball book on 9/9/2009 (lots of 9’s in that date) and it will be recorded and given to those people who were invited to the event (whether they could attend or not). You still have 24 hours to get an invitation by ordering Nine Ball book right away.

Ryan has been hanging out with fellow RSD Instructor, Saad, in New York City, where he and Sam are available for bootcamps every weekend. Our Instructors have been doing bootcamps every weekend in other cities, such as London (with Ozzie), San Francisco (with Jeffy), Texas (with Nathan), Australia (with Alexander), Los Angeles (with Tyler), Europe (with Brad), and, soon, Chicago (which will be run by Brad).

The legendary, Flawless Natural, Tim, will be coming back to teach RSD bootcamps as well. He will be doing his first bootcamp in over 1 year during the RSD World Summit. I’m so excited about this that even I am thinking about signing up to check out the program as a student because he is the only Instructor that I didn’t get to learn from during my Instructor training program last year.

He has been DJ-ing at nightclubs in Melbourne and managing a club in Australia, but he is ready to get back in action to harness the amazing skills he has as a RSD Instructor.

In addition, all of the Instructor staff has been working our asses off so hard that we’ve decided that the day after the RSD World Summit, we are all taking an Executive Retreat to Miami South Beach with the rest of our staff to relax, party, and enjoy good times with close friends.

Well, once again, thanks again for all of your continual support over the years, and I’ve hope you have enjoyed this short update that I may make a regular occurrence per the recommendation of the Instructor staff here at Real Social Dynamics. If you want to stay up to date with the latest RSD news, I also recommend you signup for our Newsletter by visiting:

Cheers, Papa
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40 Comments | 22,813 Views
Changed Priorities Ahead

Response based on Part 1 of this series and the things I've experienced in my life:
I could write a book, or at least a blog, on almost all of those experiences. There are a lot of things I've done and seen that I still could add.

Here's more: I've fought 3 fires as a fireman, how I was forced into alcohol rehab twice when I was 20 (Failed the first time because I didn't take it seriously enough for the Navy), been forced to testify before a grand jury, was an analyst at a top 5 wallstreet firm, had a higher than top secret clearance, hooked up with girls in at least a dozen countries, I've recently been considering training, with the help from my Olympian friend, to qualify for the next winter Olympics, was president of my school (charisma goes a looong way is what I'd call that story..haha), met congressmen, played 5 seasons of soccer and 4 seasons of baseball in Italy, the story from after tearing two muscles playing soccer in Madrid and kept playing- I was treated by the medical doctor for Real Madrid soccer team (good story of not quitting for ANYTHING), meeting Willie Nelson on stage at Luckenbach (a true poet, idol, and outlaw), I once saw my roommate (his father was in President Bush’s cabinet) get kicked in the face AND OFF A BOAT by a bouncer in Spain, my friend who was a drug dealer in the Italian mafia and his stories (fucking crazy!), the time I almost saw a public beheading (thank god I didn’t), the time I passed out in a public bathroom in Amsterdam (one of the grossest and luckiest stories in my life), when our personal driver took us to a Santo Domingo brothel in the Dominican Republic (Ozzie hates that story), I could write a series just on Hollywood, was courted to play D2 college football even though I only played my junior year, toured the slums of Rio de Janeiro and witnessed kids with submachine guns, temporarily buying a boat in Venice on a whim because the city went on strike, hooking up with a girl-who spoke no English-in Florence by telling her "I'm from Texas like the TV show Dallas", helped rewrite a US Navy tactical manual (based on my unique SAR rescue), the time after high school my friends and I drank 21 kegs of beer in under 6 days and the only food I remembered eating the whole time were 3 sandwiches and some Doritos, doing improv in Hollywood's UCB, had glass tables thrown over my head, been beaten up by a gang (a couple times-in hind sight I probably provoked them smile), and how insomnia and an over-active imagination has robbed me of years of my life (ala TD from Fight Club).

After I told Tyler about my struggles to write the great American novel lately, I've seriously been working on getting in the groove of doing it more regularly by posting. That and he said he learns a lot from my writing.
San Sebastian
2002: The boat in San Sabastian, Spain where my friend and roommate
(and son of George W. Bush’s cabinet member) was kicked off

Baja 500
2005: "Team Kawasaki" Pit crew, Baja 500 Mexico. Incidentally, my team was Canadian

Setting Goals
I thought I was finished, but I feel I have to talk about motivation because it's so close to what I've said. Call it the practicality part. Whatever. This may be a shock to some people, particularly to people that love him, but I'm not a big fan of Tony Robbins or anybody that tells you how you should do things, UNLESS you use them as a vehicle to realize your own abilities and core intrinsic motivations. Sometimes people just need permission to do what they already know. Being whom you're meant to be is about BEING your own Guru. Not following other people's paths, though it may make them a lot of money.

As I said before in earlier articles in this series, I believe EVERY question you have in life can be answered in yourself. You just need the courage and strength to follow what you already know. That being said, time is sooo precious in my life. Time flies by so fast. I would, and always have, set daily and long-term goals. For some reason, it brings clarity to your smaller purposes. It gives you permission and reason to do different things. I always set goals, but I think it should be said that I keep a strict-loose like perception of them. Particularly my daily goals. I don't kill myself if I don't get to things. Oh well. I will though. You cannot always plan for the things that need extra thought or time. For example, I find it hard to rush creativity and frequently run over time when writing.

Recognize Greatness and Find Inspiration in Man:
I find inspiration in my family. My grandfather is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. Truly an idol. He came from a small farming town, super poor as 1 of 16 children (many of them died before the age of 18), he often slept in ditches, and never graduated high school because he had to work.

My grandfather went on to fight in WWII on the small South Pacific Island of Tonga, hitch hiked all around the country from town to town (Jack Kerouc style) including old school California, was a gold prospector in Montana, was a great mechanic, built his own-and many other- houses, sang country western music across the West, and experienced tons of amazing adventures. Later, my grandfather recieved his GED, taught himself college algebra, trig, and calculus and climbed to the top of an american engineering corporation.

The best part is that EVERYBODY loves my grandfather. I saw this growing up, it particularly resonated with me when I lived in Italy, he would, and still does at 89yrs, just talk to everybody. People are infected by his amazing stories and friendliness (definitely a Casanova from the stories). Additionally, one of the things I'm most proud was that he grew up when America was highly segregated and my grandfather was intelligent to know people as people. He admits to the times when people just said things like, "that's mighty white of you". He got it and changed with the times when people weren't so easy to let go of the past.

Contrarily, many people, even in other parts of my extended family, see the hard and poor upbringing as one of shame and embarrassment. Where's your perspective on the people in your life?
Early 80’s: My other grandfather on our family farm in Iowa

Another inspiration I had in my young life was my adoptive Chinese father. His story is that grew up dirt poor and the son of immigrants. In the 1930's all of his siblings born before him had to be left in their country and were sent money. Growing up he and my grandparents were continuously hated just for theirs race and threatened by the US government to be deported even though he was born a citizen in the US.

Growing up in the streets of Queens New York, he was dirt poor and suffered from rickets because of malnutrition. But in the back of his parents single room laundry cleaning store, he studied on a 3 legged desk that my grandfather had pulled out of a dumpster. He went on to get a scholarship to one of the, and still, highest rated and competitive high schools in the country. From there he attended the Ivy League's Columbia University and on to medical school (he was rejected from Harvard Medical school because at the time Harvard had an allotment of only one Asian per year--to this day he still knows the guy who was accepted over him). He just retired as one of the most respected, most senior, and most decorated officers in the military. Yes, he also served in Vietnam.

So, in respects to my life, I see it as that there is very little that I could ever do that could compare to either what my adoptive father or grandfather achieved. No matter how hard life can possibly get, it would be NOTHING compared to what they endured and accomplished. There are no excuses for not succeeding; they did. Out of respect for my adoptive father, I left at the age of 18 to stake my claim and do it ALL ON MY OWN. No excuses. This is where I come from and, yes, I grew up always believing in meritocracy. Have balls and just do what you know you need to

Earn this. Earn Your Life. Saving Private Ryan

To Be Continued…

Live with Passion. Make yourself proud. Earn your life.


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