THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
Journal: Mathias!'s quest of dirty deeds and passionate love through Stockholm, and beyond
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Kilo~

Kilo~

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Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Enjoying it, not struggling., Love it.
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Ingvar!

Ingvar!

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Join Date: 02/06/2008 | Posts: 332

 Yeah me 2.. Enjoying your focus. Keep smiling brother :)
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It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously. Wilde.
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Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Thank you for the support guys. Oh the man-love, it would not be RSD without it. teeth
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

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Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760



 Saturday 27th
Talked to Zeb, but he was busy and seems most guys where this night.

But I want to go out, so I do - solo time baby.

A-bar is empty, so I go to S-Bar. Almost

This whole process, or whatever you should call it - t is some funny shit. When I got started in this I was petrified at going out alone. Horror stories of self-pressure. Now this night, I feel like the coolest motherfucker in the whole fucking bar. It is almost empty. I stand there alone, feeling almost untouchable in terms of how I feel.

 I have my own fun. Know some ppl in the bar, the dj etc. Short hi, but mostly I just stand there.

Place fill up. I get going.

Some shorter interactions, some longer. Music amping up. There are Michael Jackson songs. Place is heating up.

Some idiot guy comes over. Tries to buy me a beer. Nah, I'm good. Hey, you should stop looking at my girlfriend, he says. What the fuck man. Total retard. He believes he is entited to control who I am looking at. For the record, she was flat out openly flirting with me from accross the whole bar and I have done nothing. So I let him full out have it.

Again, funny as hell. Here I am standing by myself in the bar. Full social pressure on me, and I just feel fucking dominant. No agression, just strongly assertive dominance. TEll him he is acting like an idiot. That I honestly think his girl is tooling him (startled face on him), tell him I'll look wherever I want and that he should not go out w her if he can't take guys looking at his girl. That I couldn't care less about her. Then tell him to fuck off, basically. I can tell that this is outside his reality, he tries to persuade me like "well, it depends on what you believe is wrong and right". No the fuck it doesn't, fuck off. Walk away from here. He leaves.

Zero state drop. I forget him in one minute and keep partying. Super positivity.

There are girls here. I talk to a few more. It is fun, but not that thick.

Meet an awesome guy. This is the highlight of the night. First connect with him when we are "guy coding" from accross two girls in the bar. Insta laugh, I high five him then we open them simultaneously. We have some completely crazy fun. He is super masculine, super fun, with a super-distanced view of his own masculinity that I've only seen in guys doing matcho-physical, competitive sports. This guy is an ex thai-boxer. We are hugging like brothers and jumping around making playful warrior jokes in our own reality. Instant inside jokes that only we seem to get. Etc. This shit is insane. Get his no, call him Pete The Killer, he is laughing his ass off - since it is perfect.

We talk about some girls, approach and joke around. He likes some girl. I open and intro him. Almost a bit overloaded, but I bring it down later. His brother and some girl is there. The girl likes me, so I start hitting on her. She is gaming me. I pace out, see him talking to her later. Body lang is obvious, it is not his girl but he is just chilling her down. Hey, I see man, I'll drop her I don't care - no problem man (bro's before ho:s style). Nah, her boyfriend is a friend of mine. Yeah, I kinda saw something like that was up. Fuckit, let's have some fun.

We party it up. Talk to some girls. He buys me a beer, I buy him a beer later, etc. Haha we are so fucking cool, he says. We are bad men, he goes. Nah, we are the fucking good guys, that take what they want and don't ask permission, I go. Haha. Party more.

Hey, lets to to a club, I go. Hey, I'll follow you anywhere he says. Hey, you are my hero you are awesome, I go. Hey man, I love you, he goes. I love you too, I want you to be my guru. No, no, hahah I want YOU to be my guru. etc etc, all the time we're being physical, slapping hands, its that kind of vibe. Big men making big, silly masculine jokes.

Bounce to S-club, get to know eachother better on the way over. Walk in, party more. We open some girls. One older girl is very receptive.

I'll cut that short and just say I bounced around between her and a younger psychology student. Told her I probably knew more about practical psychology than her. We talked about Michael Jackson, identity, etc. It was not on. End up making out w the other girl. She is gaming me A LOT. My buddy has gotten a rose-wine bottle that we are sharing, etc.

Haha, we are fucking retared mirror images, he goes. Haha, you know it motherfucker, I go. Jump around, in embracement. This is what having the same core masculine frequency can do, fucking masculine resonance off the charts.

Talk more to girl, escalate the tension. I think I let her touch my dick, not sure. I just take what I want. Later she gets stuck on me not reacting to her. Asks if I am gay (incredibly stupid, since I've been very very masculine to her). I'm obviously passed her reference experiences. I tell her no, but she is stuck on her and asks again. Hey, no you are being stupid, move on. She is still stuck in her head, so I get fed up with her and shove her away and leave. Moron.

Later randomly bump into her upstairs. She is now reaching hard into her head to game me. I am nice to her, but just tell her she is being too weird. She asks why, I explain that she has too little experience and add that I think she probably has issues with sex. I feel for her as she is now even more stuck in her head still wanting me but is not protesting, so I leave.

My newfound buddy is gone. That sucked. Think he was a bit drunk, and actually I think I was too.

Play around some more before I leave for some kebab and the sack.

Summary
Nobody has the right to force their values onto me. Fuck em. Not only did I stand up for myself, I did so being all alone and without any fluctuation of state. I fucking owned his ass. Good job man.

Good job not going for the pull when that girl was not that hot, being weird and giving signals about not being 100 % congruent about sex. I don't want weirdos or the notch. I want quality, because I deserve it.

Fantastic night out solo. Best ever. Hall of fame stuff. I am proud of how far I have taken my "inner game" or whatnot. My deepest self obviously believes I deserve to go out solo and just fucking let it rip. Internally defined value, yep box !!

Met an amanzingly cool guy. Should make him a friend. Tried calling him twice already, but his phone is not on. Straight to voice mail.

Too much alcohol this one time. Would not have happened if my new buddy did not start buying me beer and wine. How could I have said no.
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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TwoTyme

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Join Date: 01/08/2009 | Posts: 540

Nice thread man, one of the few threads here I enjoy reading, keep it up. Also it's really awesome that you went out alone and felt good about it, I can relate to that feeling even though I only been solo once. I definately need to start doing it more.

TwoTyme
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Danny O

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Join Date: 09/09/2007 | Posts: 36

Sounds like a great night man. Love reading it.

To be able to go out alone is truly liberating, everything is possible then.
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Zebra

Zebra

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Join Date: 06/01/2007 | Posts: 274

Inspiration delux!

Explaining to that girl why you didnt want to get with her = pricless.

Thats is all
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Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Thanks again guys, always fun to get some feedback. Loving the love in the air tonight. ;)



Saturday 27th
Real short here. Was at a private party for a girl I know a bit, she turns 30. Pretty chill night. I was not really gaming it up, rather just enjoying myself and recharging, cause friday was kinda rough.

There are some girls. I mostly vibe and am just social. Food is great, and there is wine. Ooops. There are like four cool girls there at least (and I know some are real perverts). Kinda end up gaming them a bit, unconciously by just having fun.

One of them I am totally self amusing myself with while having fun w two gay guys. The three of them all work in the model industry, we have a lot of fun. Maybe should have taken her number, forgot all about it only about having fun for my own sake and blowing off steam.

Some of the ppl here are just really cool. I know a few of them are into going to special dominance/sex clubs, like where girls and guys have sex in the club, or just bring out the whip, swap girls and get after it. Very relaxed and centered ppl, just also very relaxed about sex it seems.

Another girl is the little sister of the girl having the party (who Adamski is having a little fling with, he's here and Fisken too, he knows a lot of these guys). Anyway, get it on a bit with this girl. There are nonverbals and tension. Move over to get physical, game her up a bit almost by accident. All of a sudden a guy gets on me from accross the table. Hey, you are going too far here, she is with me. Haha, another chode boyfriend. I did not even know he was even paying attention I did not even register him. I just face him up a bit. I have done nothing wrong, etc. Unreactive. He is being a bit chode about it, but does not push it and it is all cool. But he is not worthy, she's not bad and all he's been doing is sitting there and getting drunk, playing delutionally cool with his even chodier friend who is very drunk - seems all they've been doing is drinking and ignoring his girl and her friends, etc.

Whatever, I kinda pace out. See later that she and him do not leave together, like he has had some type of disagreement with her. Obviously, she did not feel he passed the test of facing up with me. He deserved it. Try again a bit later, but it is extremely late (morning) but I'm just horny and both too drunk, she won't go for that of course.

Instead, I just hang and chill with a couple of other guys there. One of them is definately a player, deluxe. Here he's fucked half the social circle and their friends, etc. He is very cool, just talk a bit w him. Talk about player stuff, he even asks me if I have read the game. Must have sensed I've got some game or whatever, or maybe somebody has told him. I've gone out with a couple of the girls at the party and had sick dominant nights, so they have probably talked about me. Anyway, he tells me that he always had have 100 % belief that "she wants me", and that's why hes gotten girls. He brings this up, just because of the nonverbal vibe between us, not something spoken. We are not really talking "game" or whatever, he just transitioned into it and then we left it. THis is just normal.

The same girls just love to hang with us, and at some point where we are having fun they take my cell and punch in this player guys number, and tell us both that we should hang out. Later, they do the same thing with another cool guy there who I have met before, and who talked to me a couple of times during the night. He is really chill, and just coming out of a relationship.

Girls always playing the matchmakers, you gotta love it - haha.

Talk to some psychology student girl, geez many of these huh?! Talk a bit about identity. I'm kinda rambling, but she likes it.

Chill and hang a lot w Adamski and Fisken too, who are here. Adamski is doing his spotify dj-magic.

Have not called these guys yet. Maybe I should. I feel a bit dual-edged about it. Like I did not even ask for their number, and now I have them. Hmm, probably just noise in my head. These are cool guys. We had some genuine relaxed chill, fucking fun. Hm. Yea, should call them at least to say hi.

Summary
It's ok not to game. Fuck, I ended up with some type of gaming anyway. Regardless, I had a lot of fun.

However, I should have taken that hot older model girls numbers. Don't forget to close, even if it is a social only night.

Call these guys and just big them up. Expand network of knowing cool guys.

Too much alcohol, two nigths in the row. WTF, free wine again for like 6-8 h and I did not even think about it.

Bring swimming pants next time! This place was right next to a lake, why was nobody swimming??

----------

Oh, yeah. Got ahold of my new brotherfucker from friday. Was a fun chat. He had lost his wallet, his cellphone etc. That's why he did not have it on. Talked a bit, we'll see if we hook up again. It would be cool. We talked about doing that on the phone, so why not.
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Talked to meetup2-girl again yesterday. She even called me back. Talked a bit, but she is not interested (in sex). As I thought then. But she is cool, we might just go out and party it up sometimes.

As I hung up I took a bit of a player ego hit. Felt bad, like a loss. But was it really? I know I just wanted to fuck her. She was nice, very cute and a cool girl to hang out with. Lots of laughs, smart etc. But she would probably just have been somebody I fucked. I should have just told her that. Now, its like she ditched me for being a player, but a player that did not tell her that just wanted to fuck her. I should have just done that. Adapted to how I felt for her, and just expressed it. Instead, I just did my "normal" generic thing. Some really good connecting, me amusing myself. Not "outer game", but just me but leading, escalating etc. Generic elements.

It's gotta be more real than that.

Something I read the other day that Slojodan wrote. It was so fucking spot on.

At some point you just have to realize that "you are strong enough, that you are enough". We all know that, and it can be fucking hard. It was REAL hard for me.

But that is how I feel now, finally. I am enough. I know it.

But when you do, you should start to not play by the rules. Especially if you know them well.

If you don't, you will stay limited by knowing "the rules of the game", and it will restrict you in ways that can't be predicted. As much as you know, it will be a curse. It will "push me off center" in my expression of who I am.

This totally speaked to me.

Stop fitting "my self" into a better me that plays better by the rules. Like REALLY dumb down.

Fuck the rules. Just fucking go super congruent instead, and always speak and act from your core - even if it breaks "the rules". It will work, because it is authentic and true, my truth.

It is about time I start doing that. I know I am enough. Just express it. I am the fucking game.
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Ok, what the fuck have I been up to? Have had quite a few guys ask me that.

Well, quite a bit. Identity crack, opening up new areas to work on. Quite a bit of learning, good lessons. New challenges, new perspectives. Clearly improved top level, reduced average level from playing it safe and telling myself I have nothing to prove. Increased player ego. Improved congruence, improved depth, reduced "umph". Had virus and been sick & because of that reduced energy/stamina, some resulting problems with intent and less working out.

Quite a bit of vacation in there too, 4 wks off work. Bordeline too much, even with lovely stockholm in the summer, met some new cool friends including a few cool visits from out of town, both new and old faces. thumbs up

It has been so long since I wrote in my journal that my backlog now is immense. So I will have to sum things up in a few posts the next couple of days. Will have to, as I am about to challenge myself to punch through the wall, and fucking tear it down, brick by brick.

And oh yea, vegas not far around the corner now. I sense some good times coming!

Until then, here's some evian to get that good stuff flowing baby.
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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