THE FORUMS

December 14th, 2018
I Used EFT to change my Beliefs and it works like a Charm :)
Your rating: None Average: 3.7 (42 votes)
Bookmark and Share

Redish

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2008 | Posts: 17

Alright, so i wan't to really get deep into the whole EFT stuff, since i just don't seem to improve despite all my effort.. In some ways, ofcourse i improved,

but on the inside i still found myself desperately seeking validation, ways to show im good enough, get people to like me, avoiding possible episodes that might get me looking/feeling bad, even though they shouldn't.

So, i've been reading the thread, been doing ALOT, and i mean... ALOT of notes on what i feel, old memories, what i think is wrong, what i can correct etc., all sorts of notes i'd like to tap on.

but, but, but.. I can't seem to get it all organized or figured out what i should start with, or if i should do any tapping before i start tapping on old events/negative feelings. Like, blockers? :s

Especially you Erika, and Shankar, where did you get your resources/materials to get that much succes/insight in the whole EFT thing?

Hope you can help me out here, since some thoughts i had is to some day help other people with this tool, but i need to master the tool and myself first.

Regards
Redish
Login or register to post.
EatmewhileImHOT

EatmewhileImHOT

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 330

akro_bat wrote:

I see people keep mixing EFT with psychoanalytic theory (revolving your past in order to discover hidden emotional traumas, etc.).

Don't wanna start a discussion here and everybody is free to do whatever they want, but it doesn't convince me at all... it implies lots of work. Tapping may take you 15 minutes but discovering all negative facts in your past may take a lifetime...

By the way, I went to Hot Seat and after seeing how a good pickup looks like, I started to approach girls more or less like Tyler does, playing like a child, treating girls as if they were cockies, totally egoless, escalating at once, being expressive with voice tone, etc. I am starting to get some strong attraction from girls I never was able to got. After the two first approaches I get in state and it makes you think how approaching could have been so hard before.

I wonder how long I had need to get at this point if I had to discover all of bad things who happened to me as a child...

I really think the best method is to get in state and getting reference experiences of a guy who is attractive for girls from there. Enough reference experiences will make you believe you are an attractive guy, even if you had lots of situations in your life where you were rejected.

If you are too scared and have lots of AA, just approach a girl and ask her a cigarrette or where the bathroom is, or at what time the club closes, or what other clubs are around the place, anything that doesn't force to keep a conversation. After that, you'll feel more confident to follow the interaction. Build state from here.

Hope it doesn't offend anybody.

Respect.









I'll have to disagree on that, but it's from personal experience.  If this hasn't been your experience, then fuck it.  I've piled on a 'good self image', rsd self help type seminar sayings on top of my old image, and it just didn't work out.  Maybe you have certain insecurities that aren't as strong as other people that lets you just get by with 'pushing over it', but not everyone is this way.  A good majority of people aren't this way, and I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find the old you still there, beneath all the mantra and shit. Everyone has different insecurities to different degrees, and this is what allows different things to work for different people.  Some people are more angry towards women, and towards their shame in general, that lets them get by with saying "fuck what they said, Im not a worthless piece of shit!', and can get by with paving "Im attractive!" over that.  Cool, I personally don't believe thats the way to truely feeling attractive, but to each their own.  Other people feel "Im just a piece of shit", combined with "women dont like me, no one would.", combined with "They never loved me because I was a bad person", and there is so much shame/sadness in their past that they can't get over their beliefs.  They can't just say "IM A 10, THAT WAS THE PAST, IM ATTRACTIVE NOW." Their subconscious feelings/definitions to who they were just say NO, THATS NOT WHO YOU ARE. Some people have this voice louder than others, these 'insecurities'.  This is why some guys can pickup rsd materials, and run with the wind and get results much quicker than say...someone with a VERY VERY negative outlook on themselves/feelings about themselves.  The effectiveness of the materials is literally dependant on the amount of insecurities you have in one area, (which determines the effectiveness of the compensating strategies that RSD provides to have you think 'your attractive');   It's very possible to hold a negative and positive image of yourself in your head, which is why I disagree with your 'get reference experiences' example.  Don't believe me?  

Look at people who say "I'm the shit, look Im awesome, Im a pickup master!", when they pull a girl, or even when you 'get in state', in general.  Now wait for it...wait for it...the girl gives you a bad look, or disagrees with what you have to say.  WHOOOOOOOM state plummets, like a bad balloon.  They (other people) 'reinforce' the image of you being attractive, and changing with girls.  When they don't gel with your new 'image', you plummet and feel like shit.  Of course you tell yourself "dont let state plummet!", and your mind begins resisting feeling the old bad image, until you can't feel anything but numbness and 'state', i.e. eating validation off others.

Don't believe me? Look at the millionaires who lose all their money, and then drive towards suicide.  It took them out of 'Im the shit Im rich", towards "Im poor, im worthless (old image)';  It's a egoic compensating strategy.

Anyway,

If you keep trying to tell yourself that you are, you just split off your personality into some weird pickup guy, who isn't really intune with reality. 

I'm not saying that RSD isn't effective in itself, but it's damn sure TRUELY LIFE CHANGING if you remove the part of you that had problems with women before RSD.  Rsd's principles are off the wall, and extremely effective...if their the only thing you believe.

  This isn't just about women either, it's about TRUE HAPPINESS WITH LIFE. 

As for "Just do it", brute force eventually works, but thats after youve paved over your mind with cement.  Ever wonder why approach anxiety goes away for awhile then comes back?  You temporarily disarm it with "IM A 10, BLAH BLAH BLAH", and then it comes back when what you say doesn't gel with your reality.  It's much easier to just remove the thinking associated with the anxiety.  If you don't think eft's a solution, try CBT.  That's scientific and proved to be succesful.

Minds a bitch.



I don't think you'll change your mind/way of thinking though, that shit is really hard to do without outside tools, and your mind tries keeping you stuck in your beliefs as much as it can.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As to the post above me, tap on that.  "even though I dont know what to tap on".  Anything and everything is a feeling and a thought.
__________________
"Happiness does not come from a vagina. It goes into one."-Utopia5
Login or register to post.

Chris the Wanted

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/07/2010 | Posts: 2

I'm new to this forum and this thread really got me interested. I think i have found the core belief that always held me back. As a kid my dad really drove into my head to always be a gentleman. Treat women with respect don't do it if they don't want to and all that approving bullshit, pretty much placing them on a pedestal.

So i came to the fear of not being a gentleman
they won't like me if im not a gentleman
they will reject me if im not a gentleman
can't make them attaracted to me unless im a gentleman
they would psuh me off if i acted on my instints
im not congruenent with myself if im not a gentleman
they won't liek my actions
so on and so on

pretty much all bs, now i just have to get rid of these beliefs and do everything else in field. =D Oblv my dad had problems hahaha
Login or register to post.

akro_bat

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 267

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:

akro_bat wrote:



I'll have to disagree on that, but it's from personal experience.  If this hasn't been your experience, then fuck it.  I've piled on a 'good self image', rsd self help type seminar sayings on top of my old image, and it just didn't work out. 

You can't pile a good self image on top of your old self image, cause your self image are just thoughts about yourself.

But if you have enough reference experiences
that contradicts your old self image, eventually it will start to be more positive.

Correct me if I am wrong but maybe you just tried to tell yourself "I am a 10" while inside you felt like shit. Of course, that doesn't work.


Only real experiences makes you start having good thoughts about yourself. And they don't get piled on the bad ones. They get replaced. You thought "I suck with girls". After getting hundreds of girls attracted just being yourself and self amusing, you start thinking "I am attractive". Maybe a real insecure guy will need 500 reference experiences, or another with blind spots who only see negative reactions will need to work on focusing in good reactions, but the point is that "real experiences" makes your self image change.

Maybe you have certain insecurities that aren't as strong as other people that lets you just get by with 'pushing over it', but not everyone is this
way. 

I don't push over it. I started in this pick up thing asking directions and the time at girls at streets. Even this made me feel anxious at that time, but after choding out a little finally I did it. I really recommend what RSD guys preach, to build state progressively. Of course, Ozzie recommends approaching at once the toughest set in the club, and I agree if you have strong AA you won't be able to do it. In fact, I am not able to do it. I approach first the easier sets, get a bit in state, approach a bit more, state increases more... in the end I am able to approach the hottest girl in the club even if she is surrounded by guys. And I don't even think, I just act. Cause I am in state.

A good majority of people aren't this way, and I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find the old you still there, beneath all the mantra and shit.

I am a fan of Tolle and I think the "real me" is consciousness, intelligent energy, etc. My thoughts are not me, be positive or negative.

Everyone has different insecurities to different degrees, and this is what allows different things to work for different people.  Some people are more angry towards women, and towards their shame in general, that lets them get by with saying "fuck what they said, Im not a worthless piece of shit!', and can get by with paving "Im attractive!" over that.  Cool, I personally don't believe thats the way to truely feeling attractive, but to each their own.  Other people feel "Im just a piece of shit", combined with "women dont like me, no one would.", combined with "They never loved me because I was a bad person", and there is so much shame/sadness in their past that they can't get over their beliefs. 

All of this would be solved if exposed at experiences that contradicts those beliefs. Someone who thinks "women don't like me", of course have had experiences were he was rejected. That would change if he started getting girls receptive.

They can't just say "IM A 10, THAT WAS THE PAST, IM ATTRACTIVE NOW." Their subconscious feelings/definitions to who they were just say NO, THATS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

I agree this doesn't work. But I don't recommend saying things you don't believe. Just have experiences that contradicts your limiting beliefs.

Some people have this voice louder than others, these 'insecurities'.  This is why some guys can pickup rsd materials, and run with the wind and get results much quicker than say...someone with a VERY VERY negative outlook on themselves/feelings about themselves.  The effectiveness of the materials is literally dependant on the amount of insecurities you have in one area, (which determines the effectiveness of the compensating strategies that RSD provides to have you think 'your attractive');   It's very possible to hold a negative and positive image of yourself in your head, which is why I disagree with your 'get reference experiences' example.  Don't believe me?  

Look at people who say "I'm the shit, look Im awesome, Im a pickup master!", when they pull a girl, or even when you 'get in state', in general.  Now wait for it...wait for it...the girl gives you a bad look, or disagrees with what you have to say.  WHOOOOOOOM state plummets, like a bad balloon. 

When you are really in state, it doesn't affect you if having a bad look from a girl. I had my face slapped by a cockblock recently while being in state. It was fun. I would have been angry if it had happen when in my normal state. You feel so good about yourself that reactions from others don't mind.



As for "Just do it", brute force eventually works, but thats after youve paved over your mind with cement. 

I don't recommend brute force. Just exposing yourself gradually to situations where your beliefs about yourself are going to be contradicted.

Ever wonder why approach anxiety goes away for awhile then comes back?  You temporarily disarm it with "IM A 10, BLAH BLAH BLAH", and then it comes back when what you say doesn't gel with your reality.  It's much easier to just remove the thinking associated with the anxiety.  If you don't think eft's a solution, try CBT.  That's scientific and proved to be succesful.

Minds a bitch.



I don't think you'll change your mind/way of thinking though, that shit is really hard to do without outside tools, and your mind tries keeping you stuck in your beliefs as much as it can.

Anyway, I'm glad if you had succes with what you tried. But I really think what I recommend (and RSD guys) is the fastest way. Yo recommend tapping all of your past thraumas in order to be able to approach, etc. I recommend just approaching at the level you are at and building confidence from there.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As to the post above me, tap on that.  "even though I dont know what to tap on".  Anything and everything is a feeling and a thought.

__________________
 
Login or register to post.

Redish

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2008 | Posts: 17

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:
P.s., shankar doesn't elaborate on alot of the shit you have to do to be/get success with EFT.  He wrote a thread on "releasing resistance to change", but it was a global thing.  Tapping isn't fucking global, like prescripted stuff you can go universal on.  It's UNIQUE to every person and situation, except that most people have the same sorts of blocks stopping them.  Read above.

the even funner part is, since you guys won't tap because your subconsciously afraid/dont deserve change, you self FUCK yourself up from changing anyway.

Popinjay, if your talking about your anxiety approaching, your probably tapping the wrong shit.  
"even though I have xyz anxiety I love and accept myself"

It's not the anxiety that you need to tap on, it's your repressed self image/baggage.  When I was doing the whole PUA thing w/o addressing underlying issues, I felt constant anxiety.  Tapping on that didnt do shit, the anxiety says "hey man, theres something fucked up with you or this is why it isn't okay."  


I'm not gonna lie, unrepressing all the bullshit is painful, and it sucks, and you can get pretty sick of doing it pretty fast.  But the grass is GREENER on the other side.
Conclusion: EFT sucks, is painful, and makes you look gay.  But it will open the doors and things will change in your life.  It's kind of like bootcamp though, because your mind sabotages you, only so many people make it through.
Congrats Shankar on making it through all the bullshit in your own head and getting to the other side.  I'm a quarter way through.
Eatmewhileimhot, im concerned that i may have some of these blockers holding me back from succes aswell..

How did you figure out what to tap in the area of change, failure and succes? i mean, i can do alot of lines i think might be the causes, or guess,

but.. Is there any real way to know if youre "ready" to go the next step and work on the issues that id like to change?

Or any other who worked on this?

Regards
Redish
Login or register to post.
EatmewhileImHOT

EatmewhileImHOT

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 330

@ akro bat, see chris the wonderlands response;  If you didn't have bad beliefs in you from the start, you wouldn't need pickup period.  Your beliefs are thoughts attached to emotion, nothing more.  You created these beliefs early on in your life.  State is you stepping into your pickup man persona.  It's not the real you, you can't 'get in state', and tell me how many times have you gotten laid from 'getting in state'?  The only thing I can say about 'state', is all the validation makes you feel your a good person, and it numbs out all the bad beliefs in your head that you were struggling with.  When you 'break state', as in lose validation, all the beliefs come back.  That's why it hurts to approach again, night after night after night after night.  I've been in 'state' before.  I've made the same mistakes you have for a good couple months until I realized there was something I was covering up.  But your mind will fuck you and won't let you even get that far as to considering that what I said is the ultimate reality.  It's w/e man, I wish you the best of luck.

@ Redish, try imagining success actually happening, or changing actually happening, and listen closely to how you feel.  Work on it from there.

@ chris, tap on each individual thing.

I'm not a pioneer on eft, you guys would be much better off asking erika for solid advice.  Shit, I could even use one of her 6 hour sessions, if I had the money.. ha ha ha;
__________________
"Happiness does not come from a vagina. It goes into one."-Utopia5
Login or register to post.
Erika

Erika

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

Redish wrote:
Alright, so i wan't to really get deep into the whole EFT stuff, since i just don't seem to improve despite all my effort.. In some ways, ofcourse i improved,

but on the inside i still found myself desperately seeking validation, ways to show im good enough, get people to like me, avoiding possible episodes that might get me looking/feeling bad, even though they shouldn't.

So, i've been reading the thread, been doing ALOT, and i mean... ALOT of notes on what i feel, old memories, what i think is wrong, what i can correct etc., all sorts of notes i'd like to tap on.

but, but, but.. I can't seem to get it all organized or figured out what i should start with, or if i should do any tapping before i start tapping on old events/negative feelings. Like, blockers? :s

Especially you Erika, and Shankar, where did you get your resources/materials to get that much succes/insight in the whole EFT thing?

Hope you can help me out here, since some thoughts i had is to some day help other people with this tool, but i need to master the tool and myself first.

Regards
Redish
Hi Redish,

This may be frustrating to hear ... but going this alone without some help and guidance (an actual person helping you) is going to be a very long road ...

My current expertise is the result of 3.5 years of tapping nearly every single day and reading hundreds of articles and books, combined with having spent tens of thousands of dollars to learn non-violent communication and work with various private coaches and healers, and then coaching and doing sessions with hundreds of other people. 

The organization of the method is the key to fast results, and as far as I know, I am the only person who has turned this into one holistic, comprehensive system (there may be others I don't know about) ... but that literally took me years of devotion.  An expert can spot a core issue in 10 minutes that might take you three months to find.

If you don't have the money to work with an expert, it's just reading threads like this one where we are giving free advice, and lots of trial and error.  It takes a real commitment and passion to get good at this stuff.

Does that help? 

- Erika
__________________
- Erika Awakening from SpiritualSeduction.com (my sexy blog)
Login or register to post.
Erika

Erika

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:
@ akro bat, see chris the wonderlands response;  If you didn't have bad beliefs in you from the start, you wouldn't need pickup period.  Your beliefs are thoughts attached to emotion, nothing more.  You created these beliefs early on in your life.  State is you stepping into your pickup man persona.  It's not the real you, you can't 'get in state', and tell me how many times have you gotten laid from 'getting in state'?  The only thing I can say about 'state', is all the validation makes you feel your a good person, and it numbs out all the bad beliefs in your head that you were struggling with.  When you 'break state', as in lose validation, all the beliefs come back.  That's why it hurts to approach again, night after night after night after night.  I've been in 'state' before.  I've made the same mistakes you have for a good couple months until I realized there was something I was covering up.  But your mind will fuck you and won't let you even get that far as to considering that what I said is the ultimate reality.  It's w/e man, I wish you the best of luck.

@ Redish, try imagining success actually happening, or changing actually happening, and listen closely to how you feel.  Work on it from there.

@ chris, tap on each individual thing.

I'm not a pioneer on eft, you guys would be much better off asking erika for solid advice.  Shit, I could even use one of her 6 hour sessions, if I had the money.. ha ha ha;


Lol, thanks for the props, Eatme.

EFT can be used to generate abundance, I use it that way when big bills come in ... you can use the same method I described a few posts back, writing down on a sheet of paper fears of success and fears of failure and then getting into as much detail as possible about the secret hidden reasons why you DON'T WANT MORE MONEY ... because if you don't have more money, there is some secret hidden part of you that doesn't want it (same principle applies to hot girls, lol). 
__________________
- Erika Awakening from SpiritualSeduction.com (my sexy blog)
Login or register to post.

csrpj

Member

Join Date: 07/09/2010 | Posts: 47

 erika, does one need to verbalize "the problem" for the method to be effective? in other words, is it not effective to get in touch with the problem through deep feeling and specific imagery but saying "even though i feel this i deeply and completely love and accept myself"?
__________________
 
Login or register to post.

stayfly

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/24/2007 | Posts: 230

someone, what's THE BEST book or program to learn and apply EFT

I'm willing to give it a legitimate try
Login or register to post.