THE FORUMS

January 19th, 2017
I Used EFT to change my Beliefs and it works like a Charm :)
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im2park

im2park

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Join Date: 05/05/2010 | Posts: 87

Hey erika,  eft sounds too good to be true. if we have approach anxiety do we simply just tap, "even though i have approach anxiety and i love and accept myself"?   sounds too easy
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NewMan

NewMan

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Join Date: 05/06/2010 | Posts: 404

im going to tap my self in the cheek and i will get a gf?

yea...
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TapArtist

TapArtist

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Join Date: 06/25/2010 | Posts: 376

I think the point is to tap into REALITY. as in, the girl wants you to be REAL- i.e. you want to fuck her. you must show her this.
there are probably over 100 terms, DVDs, bootcamps, conventions, theories, and they are all really one and the same.
you can break it down endlessly, and this is where money is made. Once you understand the underlying principle of man vs woman, the rest is bullshit.
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Mitizaro

Mitizaro

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Join Date: 09/14/2009 | Posts: 1070

TapArtist wrote:
I think the point is to tap into REALITY. as in, the girl wants you to be REAL- i.e. you want to fuck her. you must show her this.
there are probably over 100 terms, DVDs, bootcamps, conventions, theories, and they are all really one and the same.
you can break it down endlessly, and this is where money is made. Once you understand the underlying principle of man vs woman, the rest is bullshit.
True. It is like the world is based on mystical truths. Once you've master them - the rest is the details.
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:

Pirate wrote:
How would you get rid of Neediness through using EFT? 

Because i only remember a few instances growing up of needy behaviour and thinking about them doesnt bring up enough emotion for me to even think of them as significant. But neediness is my one biggest problem/becoming attached once i've madeout with a chick. 

Thanks.
Look for early memories of feeling unloved. /believing your unloved.  Ever jealous of your mom/early girlfriends? Could try that too. Try following your entire lifespan back and fill in all the missing parts of you as a kid.  It's repressed, which means you won't be able to find it at first.  First it'll look like a quick flash of a memory, maybe. Just keep going at it.  Don't judge, just figure out how you really feel.

Yes, agreed, it's most likely repressed ... I've had some pretty dramatic results working with clients on "Oedipal complex" issues.  I myself had pretty big issues in this area, as my mother used to play one family member against another, which creates a lot of fear and resulting "neediness." 

Also, most people have a repressed feeling that the opposite sex is "off limits" due to the sexual norms of our society where the father could have the mother sexually, but sex was "off limits" to the children.  

With tapping always be open to the possibility that you may have the described issue even if at first you think you don't ... that's what repression does ... hides the issues and makes it that much more difficult to resolve ...
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

im2park wrote:
Hey erika,  eft sounds too good to be true. if we have approach anxiety do we simply just tap, "even though i have approach anxiety and i love and accept myself"?   sounds too easy
Yep, sounds too easy and won't work ... let me explain why ...

I also received this question by private message:

"Hi, I just got my hands on some EFT reading material last week, so I am fairly new to it.
How should I get rid of approach anxiety? Is it simple as doing the tapping and repeating "Even though I have approach anxiety, I completely and deeply accept myself"?

Please post your reply on the EFT thread: www.rsdnation.com/node/91379

Thank you, "

So let me answer both questions here ...

There's good news and bad news.  The bad news is that Approach anxiety is actually one of the most stubborn issues to resolve with tapping (or any other method, for that matter).  This is because AA is not a single "issue."  Basically it tends to be a combination of pretty much EVERY social fear a guy has in his life, all wrapped into that one God-awful moment of approach.

The good news is that if you  unravel all the fears contributing to AA, your life is going to take a huge quantum leap, because you didn't just resolve the AA.  You pretty much resolved about a hundred different things that were blocking you from your full potential in a bunch of areas of your life.

One of the main reasons tapping doesn't work for many people is what you described above.  "Even though I feel this approach anxiety ... " is WAY too general and global to do you much if any good.  You MUST, for long-term results, get into the SPECIFICS of what created the anxiety, and you MUST go back as deep INTO YOUR PAST as possible to get to the roots of where the anxiety began.  
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Macavity

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Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2511

 About the 20 Min Audio....

-Can this be done with any affirmations? Because i'd rather change some of them. eg "Fuck fear" to "I do not fear confrontation"

-Wouldnt it be more effective to have less affirmations rather than so many?

-Even though im tapping in these positive ones, is it still necessary to tap the negative? Or can i just do this for like a month? 

-Is this audio used in conjunction with normal tapping sessions or can it just be used alone?

Thanks
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

Pirate wrote:
 About the 20 Min Audio....

-Can this be done with any affirmations? Because i'd rather change some of them. eg "Fuck fear" to "I do not fear confrontation"

-Wouldnt it be more effective to have less affirmations rather than so many?

-Even though im tapping in these positive ones, is it still necessary to tap the negative? Or can i just do this for like a month? 

-Is this audio used in conjunction with normal tapping sessions or can it just be used alone?

Thanks
What is the 20 minute audio? 

Affirmations have some power by themselves, but it's extremely important to tap out the negative or there's not any space for the positive affirmations to take root.

I have had success getting men to repeat over and over "I choose to be powerful because powerful is who I truly am."  Even if they haven't yet tapped out all the negative.  Certain affirmations seem to be powerful enough to take root anyway.

But think  of it this way.  My definition of congruence is that your words match your actions match your thoughts.  Everything is perfectly lined up.  If you add positive affirmations on top of a bunch of negative thinking, without getting rid of the negative thinking first, are you likely to be congruent with the new positive affirmations?  NO, in fact incongruence may INCREASE because you've got a bunch of negative static that undermines the positive affirmations.  Make sense? 
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

Someone sent me this question by private message, so I'll answer it here for everybody:

Hey erika. I don't know where to start.. I wanna use eft on my approach anxiety.. could you come up with a list of affirmations about what to say to tap myself out of it and how to word it.. or like, make a videoblog physically demonstrating it on youtube and message me the link.. ? i wouldnt know how to repay you.. but it would make my life much better. I probably have loads of reasons why I get AA.

:| Thanks for reading babe.


************
This is one of the most frequent questions that I get about EFT/tapping and my system of Holistic Belief Reprogramming.  And if I could give you what you are asking for and have it actually work for you, I would ...

But your question raises one of the most common misconceptions in the world of tapping, the idea that someone can give you a premade script and it's going to solve the problem.

I personally have tapped along with many, many premade EFT/tapping audios.  Although some of them were useful for giving me ideas about customizing my own scripts, I don't recall a single one of them ever resulting in a miraculous result for me ... because they are not customized enough.

Many guys think that AA is just AA.  It's usually not.  The subconscious mind has recorded every single thing that ever happened to you in your entire life.  At the moment of approach, it has a subconscious catalog of EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG when you approach the girl ... and it is not only concerned with the immediate fears (fear of her saying something mean or blowing you off), it is also many, many steps ahead of your conscious mind, and has thought of everything that can go wrong IN THE FUTURE even if you succeed in picking this girl up.  And it is TERRIFIED of all those things that could go wrong, from now until the day you are sleeping in separate beds from your wife 20 years from now.  So it says, MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF I SHORTCIRCUIT THIS WHOLE PROCESS BEFORE IT EVEN GETS STARTED ... thus, AA.

To get rid of AA successfully, you need to find all of YOUR specific fears, memories, and beliefs that are blocking you.  YOUR fears will be very different from another guy's fears.  This includes both FEARS OF FAILURE and FEARS OF SUCCESS.  Often these are subtle and not at all obvious to the untrained person.  This is why a premade script usually doesn't get the job done, and why it's so important to work with an expert instead of trying to do this by yourself.

That said, if you want to come up with your own script, I suggest taking a piece of paper, drawing a line down the middle, writing FEARS OF FAILURE on one side and  FEARS OF SUCCESS on the other.  Write down every memory that jumps into your head as you do this, and every limiting belief, and then tap ALL OF THEM.

Then go in field, see if your results have changed.  If you are still feeling anxiety, notice the thoughts that are coming into your head.  Write them all down, and tap those. 

Rinse and repeat.  :)
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akro_bat

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 267

I see people keep mixing EFT with psychoanalytic theory (revolving your past in order to discover hidden emotional traumas, etc.).

Don't wanna start a discussion here and everybody is free to do whatever they want, but it doesn't convince me at all... it implies lots of work. Tapping may take you 15 minutes but discovering all negative facts in your past may take a lifetime...

By the way, I went to Hot Seat and after seeing how a good pickup looks like, I started to approach girls more or less like Tyler does, playing like a child, treating girls as if they were cockies, totally egoless, escalating at once, being expressive with voice tone, etc. I am starting to get some strong attraction from girls I never was able to got. After the two first approaches I get in state and it makes you think how approaching could have been so hard before.

I wonder how long I had need to get at this point if I had to discover all of bad things who happened to me as a child...

I really think the best method is to get in state and getting reference experiences of a guy who is attractive for girls from there. Enough reference experiences will make you believe you are an attractive guy, even if you had lots of situations in your life where you were rejected.

If you are too scared and have lots of AA, just approach a girl and ask her a cigarrette or where the bathroom is, or at what time the club closes, or what other clubs are around the place, anything that doesn't force to keep a conversation. After that, you'll feel more confident to follow the interaction. Build state from here.

Hope it doesn't offend anybody.

Respect.
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