THE FORUMS

July 22nd, 2017
I Used EFT to change my Beliefs and it works like a Charm :)
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Macavity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2454

 About the 20 Min Audio....

-Can this be done with any affirmations? Because i'd rather change some of them. eg "Fuck fear" to "I do not fear confrontation"

-Wouldnt it be more effective to have less affirmations rather than so many?

-Even though im tapping in these positive ones, is it still necessary to tap the negative? Or can i just do this for like a month? 

-Is this audio used in conjunction with normal tapping sessions or can it just be used alone?

Thanks
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

Pirate wrote:
 About the 20 Min Audio....

-Can this be done with any affirmations? Because i'd rather change some of them. eg "Fuck fear" to "I do not fear confrontation"

-Wouldnt it be more effective to have less affirmations rather than so many?

-Even though im tapping in these positive ones, is it still necessary to tap the negative? Or can i just do this for like a month? 

-Is this audio used in conjunction with normal tapping sessions or can it just be used alone?

Thanks
What is the 20 minute audio? 

Affirmations have some power by themselves, but it's extremely important to tap out the negative or there's not any space for the positive affirmations to take root.

I have had success getting men to repeat over and over "I choose to be powerful because powerful is who I truly am."  Even if they haven't yet tapped out all the negative.  Certain affirmations seem to be powerful enough to take root anyway.

But think  of it this way.  My definition of congruence is that your words match your actions match your thoughts.  Everything is perfectly lined up.  If you add positive affirmations on top of a bunch of negative thinking, without getting rid of the negative thinking first, are you likely to be congruent with the new positive affirmations?  NO, in fact incongruence may INCREASE because you've got a bunch of negative static that undermines the positive affirmations.  Make sense? 
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Erika

Erika

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Join Date: 09/21/2008 | Posts: 491

Someone sent me this question by private message, so I'll answer it here for everybody:

Hey erika. I don't know where to start.. I wanna use eft on my approach anxiety.. could you come up with a list of affirmations about what to say to tap myself out of it and how to word it.. or like, make a videoblog physically demonstrating it on youtube and message me the link.. ? i wouldnt know how to repay you.. but it would make my life much better. I probably have loads of reasons why I get AA.

:| Thanks for reading babe.


************
This is one of the most frequent questions that I get about EFT/tapping and my system of Holistic Belief Reprogramming.  And if I could give you what you are asking for and have it actually work for you, I would ...

But your question raises one of the most common misconceptions in the world of tapping, the idea that someone can give you a premade script and it's going to solve the problem.

I personally have tapped along with many, many premade EFT/tapping audios.  Although some of them were useful for giving me ideas about customizing my own scripts, I don't recall a single one of them ever resulting in a miraculous result for me ... because they are not customized enough.

Many guys think that AA is just AA.  It's usually not.  The subconscious mind has recorded every single thing that ever happened to you in your entire life.  At the moment of approach, it has a subconscious catalog of EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG when you approach the girl ... and it is not only concerned with the immediate fears (fear of her saying something mean or blowing you off), it is also many, many steps ahead of your conscious mind, and has thought of everything that can go wrong IN THE FUTURE even if you succeed in picking this girl up.  And it is TERRIFIED of all those things that could go wrong, from now until the day you are sleeping in separate beds from your wife 20 years from now.  So it says, MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF I SHORTCIRCUIT THIS WHOLE PROCESS BEFORE IT EVEN GETS STARTED ... thus, AA.

To get rid of AA successfully, you need to find all of YOUR specific fears, memories, and beliefs that are blocking you.  YOUR fears will be very different from another guy's fears.  This includes both FEARS OF FAILURE and FEARS OF SUCCESS.  Often these are subtle and not at all obvious to the untrained person.  This is why a premade script usually doesn't get the job done, and why it's so important to work with an expert instead of trying to do this by yourself.

That said, if you want to come up with your own script, I suggest taking a piece of paper, drawing a line down the middle, writing FEARS OF FAILURE on one side and  FEARS OF SUCCESS on the other.  Write down every memory that jumps into your head as you do this, and every limiting belief, and then tap ALL OF THEM.

Then go in field, see if your results have changed.  If you are still feeling anxiety, notice the thoughts that are coming into your head.  Write them all down, and tap those. 

Rinse and repeat.  :)
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akro_bat

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 267

I see people keep mixing EFT with psychoanalytic theory (revolving your past in order to discover hidden emotional traumas, etc.).

Don't wanna start a discussion here and everybody is free to do whatever they want, but it doesn't convince me at all... it implies lots of work. Tapping may take you 15 minutes but discovering all negative facts in your past may take a lifetime...

By the way, I went to Hot Seat and after seeing how a good pickup looks like, I started to approach girls more or less like Tyler does, playing like a child, treating girls as if they were cockies, totally egoless, escalating at once, being expressive with voice tone, etc. I am starting to get some strong attraction from girls I never was able to got. After the two first approaches I get in state and it makes you think how approaching could have been so hard before.

I wonder how long I had need to get at this point if I had to discover all of bad things who happened to me as a child...

I really think the best method is to get in state and getting reference experiences of a guy who is attractive for girls from there. Enough reference experiences will make you believe you are an attractive guy, even if you had lots of situations in your life where you were rejected.

If you are too scared and have lots of AA, just approach a girl and ask her a cigarrette or where the bathroom is, or at what time the club closes, or what other clubs are around the place, anything that doesn't force to keep a conversation. After that, you'll feel more confident to follow the interaction. Build state from here.

Hope it doesn't offend anybody.

Respect.
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Redish

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2008 | Posts: 17

Alright, so i wan't to really get deep into the whole EFT stuff, since i just don't seem to improve despite all my effort.. In some ways, ofcourse i improved,

but on the inside i still found myself desperately seeking validation, ways to show im good enough, get people to like me, avoiding possible episodes that might get me looking/feeling bad, even though they shouldn't.

So, i've been reading the thread, been doing ALOT, and i mean... ALOT of notes on what i feel, old memories, what i think is wrong, what i can correct etc., all sorts of notes i'd like to tap on.

but, but, but.. I can't seem to get it all organized or figured out what i should start with, or if i should do any tapping before i start tapping on old events/negative feelings. Like, blockers? :s

Especially you Erika, and Shankar, where did you get your resources/materials to get that much succes/insight in the whole EFT thing?

Hope you can help me out here, since some thoughts i had is to some day help other people with this tool, but i need to master the tool and myself first.

Regards
Redish
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EatmewhileImHOT

EatmewhileImHOT

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 330

akro_bat wrote:

I see people keep mixing EFT with psychoanalytic theory (revolving your past in order to discover hidden emotional traumas, etc.).

Don't wanna start a discussion here and everybody is free to do whatever they want, but it doesn't convince me at all... it implies lots of work. Tapping may take you 15 minutes but discovering all negative facts in your past may take a lifetime...

By the way, I went to Hot Seat and after seeing how a good pickup looks like, I started to approach girls more or less like Tyler does, playing like a child, treating girls as if they were cockies, totally egoless, escalating at once, being expressive with voice tone, etc. I am starting to get some strong attraction from girls I never was able to got. After the two first approaches I get in state and it makes you think how approaching could have been so hard before.

I wonder how long I had need to get at this point if I had to discover all of bad things who happened to me as a child...

I really think the best method is to get in state and getting reference experiences of a guy who is attractive for girls from there. Enough reference experiences will make you believe you are an attractive guy, even if you had lots of situations in your life where you were rejected.

If you are too scared and have lots of AA, just approach a girl and ask her a cigarrette or where the bathroom is, or at what time the club closes, or what other clubs are around the place, anything that doesn't force to keep a conversation. After that, you'll feel more confident to follow the interaction. Build state from here.

Hope it doesn't offend anybody.

Respect.









I'll have to disagree on that, but it's from personal experience.  If this hasn't been your experience, then fuck it.  I've piled on a 'good self image', rsd self help type seminar sayings on top of my old image, and it just didn't work out.  Maybe you have certain insecurities that aren't as strong as other people that lets you just get by with 'pushing over it', but not everyone is this way.  A good majority of people aren't this way, and I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find the old you still there, beneath all the mantra and shit. Everyone has different insecurities to different degrees, and this is what allows different things to work for different people.  Some people are more angry towards women, and towards their shame in general, that lets them get by with saying "fuck what they said, Im not a worthless piece of shit!', and can get by with paving "Im attractive!" over that.  Cool, I personally don't believe thats the way to truely feeling attractive, but to each their own.  Other people feel "Im just a piece of shit", combined with "women dont like me, no one would.", combined with "They never loved me because I was a bad person", and there is so much shame/sadness in their past that they can't get over their beliefs.  They can't just say "IM A 10, THAT WAS THE PAST, IM ATTRACTIVE NOW." Their subconscious feelings/definitions to who they were just say NO, THATS NOT WHO YOU ARE. Some people have this voice louder than others, these 'insecurities'.  This is why some guys can pickup rsd materials, and run with the wind and get results much quicker than say...someone with a VERY VERY negative outlook on themselves/feelings about themselves.  The effectiveness of the materials is literally dependant on the amount of insecurities you have in one area, (which determines the effectiveness of the compensating strategies that RSD provides to have you think 'your attractive');   It's very possible to hold a negative and positive image of yourself in your head, which is why I disagree with your 'get reference experiences' example.  Don't believe me?  

Look at people who say "I'm the shit, look Im awesome, Im a pickup master!", when they pull a girl, or even when you 'get in state', in general.  Now wait for it...wait for it...the girl gives you a bad look, or disagrees with what you have to say.  WHOOOOOOOM state plummets, like a bad balloon.  They (other people) 'reinforce' the image of you being attractive, and changing with girls.  When they don't gel with your new 'image', you plummet and feel like shit.  Of course you tell yourself "dont let state plummet!", and your mind begins resisting feeling the old bad image, until you can't feel anything but numbness and 'state', i.e. eating validation off others.

Don't believe me? Look at the millionaires who lose all their money, and then drive towards suicide.  It took them out of 'Im the shit Im rich", towards "Im poor, im worthless (old image)';  It's a egoic compensating strategy.

Anyway,

If you keep trying to tell yourself that you are, you just split off your personality into some weird pickup guy, who isn't really intune with reality. 

I'm not saying that RSD isn't effective in itself, but it's damn sure TRUELY LIFE CHANGING if you remove the part of you that had problems with women before RSD.  Rsd's principles are off the wall, and extremely effective...if their the only thing you believe.

  This isn't just about women either, it's about TRUE HAPPINESS WITH LIFE. 

As for "Just do it", brute force eventually works, but thats after youve paved over your mind with cement.  Ever wonder why approach anxiety goes away for awhile then comes back?  You temporarily disarm it with "IM A 10, BLAH BLAH BLAH", and then it comes back when what you say doesn't gel with your reality.  It's much easier to just remove the thinking associated with the anxiety.  If you don't think eft's a solution, try CBT.  That's scientific and proved to be succesful.

Minds a bitch.



I don't think you'll change your mind/way of thinking though, that shit is really hard to do without outside tools, and your mind tries keeping you stuck in your beliefs as much as it can.


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As to the post above me, tap on that.  "even though I dont know what to tap on".  Anything and everything is a feeling and a thought.
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Chris the Wanted

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/07/2010 | Posts: 2

I'm new to this forum and this thread really got me interested. I think i have found the core belief that always held me back. As a kid my dad really drove into my head to always be a gentleman. Treat women with respect don't do it if they don't want to and all that approving bullshit, pretty much placing them on a pedestal.

So i came to the fear of not being a gentleman
they won't like me if im not a gentleman
they will reject me if im not a gentleman
can't make them attaracted to me unless im a gentleman
they would psuh me off if i acted on my instints
im not congruenent with myself if im not a gentleman
they won't liek my actions
so on and so on

pretty much all bs, now i just have to get rid of these beliefs and do everything else in field. =D Oblv my dad had problems hahaha
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akro_bat

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 267

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:

akro_bat wrote:



I'll have to disagree on that, but it's from personal experience.  If this hasn't been your experience, then fuck it.  I've piled on a 'good self image', rsd self help type seminar sayings on top of my old image, and it just didn't work out. 

You can't pile a good self image on top of your old self image, cause your self image are just thoughts about yourself.

But if you have enough reference experiences
that contradicts your old self image, eventually it will start to be more positive.

Correct me if I am wrong but maybe you just tried to tell yourself "I am a 10" while inside you felt like shit. Of course, that doesn't work.


Only real experiences makes you start having good thoughts about yourself. And they don't get piled on the bad ones. They get replaced. You thought "I suck with girls". After getting hundreds of girls attracted just being yourself and self amusing, you start thinking "I am attractive". Maybe a real insecure guy will need 500 reference experiences, or another with blind spots who only see negative reactions will need to work on focusing in good reactions, but the point is that "real experiences" makes your self image change.

Maybe you have certain insecurities that aren't as strong as other people that lets you just get by with 'pushing over it', but not everyone is this
way. 

I don't push over it. I started in this pick up thing asking directions and the time at girls at streets. Even this made me feel anxious at that time, but after choding out a little finally I did it. I really recommend what RSD guys preach, to build state progressively. Of course, Ozzie recommends approaching at once the toughest set in the club, and I agree if you have strong AA you won't be able to do it. In fact, I am not able to do it. I approach first the easier sets, get a bit in state, approach a bit more, state increases more... in the end I am able to approach the hottest girl in the club even if she is surrounded by guys. And I don't even think, I just act. Cause I am in state.

A good majority of people aren't this way, and I'm sure if you look hard enough you'll find the old you still there, beneath all the mantra and shit.

I am a fan of Tolle and I think the "real me" is consciousness, intelligent energy, etc. My thoughts are not me, be positive or negative.

Everyone has different insecurities to different degrees, and this is what allows different things to work for different people.  Some people are more angry towards women, and towards their shame in general, that lets them get by with saying "fuck what they said, Im not a worthless piece of shit!', and can get by with paving "Im attractive!" over that.  Cool, I personally don't believe thats the way to truely feeling attractive, but to each their own.  Other people feel "Im just a piece of shit", combined with "women dont like me, no one would.", combined with "They never loved me because I was a bad person", and there is so much shame/sadness in their past that they can't get over their beliefs. 

All of this would be solved if exposed at experiences that contradicts those beliefs. Someone who thinks "women don't like me", of course have had experiences were he was rejected. That would change if he started getting girls receptive.

They can't just say "IM A 10, THAT WAS THE PAST, IM ATTRACTIVE NOW." Their subconscious feelings/definitions to who they were just say NO, THATS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

I agree this doesn't work. But I don't recommend saying things you don't believe. Just have experiences that contradicts your limiting beliefs.

Some people have this voice louder than others, these 'insecurities'.  This is why some guys can pickup rsd materials, and run with the wind and get results much quicker than say...someone with a VERY VERY negative outlook on themselves/feelings about themselves.  The effectiveness of the materials is literally dependant on the amount of insecurities you have in one area, (which determines the effectiveness of the compensating strategies that RSD provides to have you think 'your attractive');   It's very possible to hold a negative and positive image of yourself in your head, which is why I disagree with your 'get reference experiences' example.  Don't believe me?  

Look at people who say "I'm the shit, look Im awesome, Im a pickup master!", when they pull a girl, or even when you 'get in state', in general.  Now wait for it...wait for it...the girl gives you a bad look, or disagrees with what you have to say.  WHOOOOOOOM state plummets, like a bad balloon. 

When you are really in state, it doesn't affect you if having a bad look from a girl. I had my face slapped by a cockblock recently while being in state. It was fun. I would have been angry if it had happen when in my normal state. You feel so good about yourself that reactions from others don't mind.



As for "Just do it", brute force eventually works, but thats after youve paved over your mind with cement. 

I don't recommend brute force. Just exposing yourself gradually to situations where your beliefs about yourself are going to be contradicted.

Ever wonder why approach anxiety goes away for awhile then comes back?  You temporarily disarm it with "IM A 10, BLAH BLAH BLAH", and then it comes back when what you say doesn't gel with your reality.  It's much easier to just remove the thinking associated with the anxiety.  If you don't think eft's a solution, try CBT.  That's scientific and proved to be succesful.

Minds a bitch.



I don't think you'll change your mind/way of thinking though, that shit is really hard to do without outside tools, and your mind tries keeping you stuck in your beliefs as much as it can.

Anyway, I'm glad if you had succes with what you tried. But I really think what I recommend (and RSD guys) is the fastest way. Yo recommend tapping all of your past thraumas in order to be able to approach, etc. I recommend just approaching at the level you are at and building confidence from there.


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As to the post above me, tap on that.  "even though I dont know what to tap on".  Anything and everything is a feeling and a thought.

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Redish

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2008 | Posts: 17

EatmewhileImHOT wrote:
P.s., shankar doesn't elaborate on alot of the shit you have to do to be/get success with EFT.  He wrote a thread on "releasing resistance to change", but it was a global thing.  Tapping isn't fucking global, like prescripted stuff you can go universal on.  It's UNIQUE to every person and situation, except that most people have the same sorts of blocks stopping them.  Read above.

the even funner part is, since you guys won't tap because your subconsciously afraid/dont deserve change, you self FUCK yourself up from changing anyway.

Popinjay, if your talking about your anxiety approaching, your probably tapping the wrong shit.  
"even though I have xyz anxiety I love and accept myself"

It's not the anxiety that you need to tap on, it's your repressed self image/baggage.  When I was doing the whole PUA thing w/o addressing underlying issues, I felt constant anxiety.  Tapping on that didnt do shit, the anxiety says "hey man, theres something fucked up with you or this is why it isn't okay."  


I'm not gonna lie, unrepressing all the bullshit is painful, and it sucks, and you can get pretty sick of doing it pretty fast.  But the grass is GREENER on the other side.
Conclusion: EFT sucks, is painful, and makes you look gay.  But it will open the doors and things will change in your life.  It's kind of like bootcamp though, because your mind sabotages you, only so many people make it through.
Congrats Shankar on making it through all the bullshit in your own head and getting to the other side.  I'm a quarter way through.
Eatmewhileimhot, im concerned that i may have some of these blockers holding me back from succes aswell..

How did you figure out what to tap in the area of change, failure and succes? i mean, i can do alot of lines i think might be the causes, or guess,

but.. Is there any real way to know if youre "ready" to go the next step and work on the issues that id like to change?

Or any other who worked on this?

Regards
Redish
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EatmewhileImHOT

EatmewhileImHOT

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 330

@ akro bat, see chris the wonderlands response;  If you didn't have bad beliefs in you from the start, you wouldn't need pickup period.  Your beliefs are thoughts attached to emotion, nothing more.  You created these beliefs early on in your life.  State is you stepping into your pickup man persona.  It's not the real you, you can't 'get in state', and tell me how many times have you gotten laid from 'getting in state'?  The only thing I can say about 'state', is all the validation makes you feel your a good person, and it numbs out all the bad beliefs in your head that you were struggling with.  When you 'break state', as in lose validation, all the beliefs come back.  That's why it hurts to approach again, night after night after night after night.  I've been in 'state' before.  I've made the same mistakes you have for a good couple months until I realized there was something I was covering up.  But your mind will fuck you and won't let you even get that far as to considering that what I said is the ultimate reality.  It's w/e man, I wish you the best of luck.

@ Redish, try imagining success actually happening, or changing actually happening, and listen closely to how you feel.  Work on it from there.

@ chris, tap on each individual thing.

I'm not a pioneer on eft, you guys would be much better off asking erika for solid advice.  Shit, I could even use one of her 6 hour sessions, if I had the money.. ha ha ha;
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"Happiness does not come from a vagina. It goes into one."-Utopia5
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