THE FORUMS

September 15th, 2014
Applying a Mindset.
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#11
Getupa

Getupa

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Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

Psychocybernetics principles...
You can get rid of approach anxiety doing this without going out "sarging"... just with normal everyday life.
props dudes
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#12
Hamlet

Hamlet

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 601

Halffull wrote:

Tune into the emotional wavelength of the mindset
:  Ask yourself what it would feel like to have that state. What sensations would you have in your body, what aura would you give off?  Then from the inside out, try to imagine yourself into that state.

Yes, that's it in a nutshell. This "wavelength" doesn't necessarily consist of words in your head. It's more like you scan the room and when you see a little hottie, your mind goes "Mmmmm... Nice". Automatically. 

And no, you're right to say that one doesn't have to be a Tolle disciple to apply it. That's just the way I view the world.
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#13
Ozzie

Ozzie

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2563

always learn the mindset behind the practice. practice might change but mindset remains.
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#14
Drama

Drama

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Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3632

Great article!  You've done a tremendous job helping me develop a deeper understanding.  Much love.
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#15

upstart

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/30/2008 | Posts: 240

being dominant, or having intent, are based on so many feelings first, like self reliance, "deservedness", if the guy doesn't feel those, being dominant isn't gonna work, or it's just gonna be a show the person puts on. shadow work relates to this imo.
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#16
Halffull

Halffull

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3224

upstart wrote:
being dominant, or having intent, are based on so many feelings first, like self reliance, "deservedness", if the guy doesn't feel those, being dominant isn't gonna work, or it's just gonna be a show the person puts on. shadow work relates to this imo.
It's a chicken and egg problem.  The mindsets will give you the proper emotions and attitudes, the emotions and attitudes will give you the proper mindset.

The techniques in this post are meant to bridge the gap.
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#17

ninja08

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Join Date: 06/21/2008 | Posts: 607

Attitude follows behavior
attitude implies self
self attatched to outcomes = pain

self attatched to behavior = not pain

 
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#18

Jarno

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/25/2010 | Posts: 609

Hamlet, thank you SO MUCH for sharing this post(s)

I have EXACTLY what you discribe.. i feel FUCKING confused.. because i know with just a click in my mind (that i've had before). I have core-confidence, i feel good about myself, i am in the moment, i am superfunny, i feel good with whatever i do, i do not give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me.. totally not giving a fuck.
But then after sometimes 1min, or 1hour or a day poof it's GONE.. and i'm like FUCK.. back to the theory again.. But that's my problem, i am 90 % of the time FUCKING confused because all i do is study self-improvement, eckhart, RSD, whatever.. and i forget how easy it all is. I also do MAJOR over analizing, i am super logical and want to understand why i should feel good about myself etc.. why shouldnt i feel like im a fucking worthless chode? Even when im talking to people i can't even hear what they are saying because in my head i'm so struggling with :   "your enough  "... hmm that didnt work FUCK,  "dont give a fuck what she thinks " fuck it didnt work either.. I just feel so fucking lost. And yet i do know that that awesome feeling we all strive for and create all these difficult theories and posts about is just so fucking simple it's not even funny.
But yeah, Hamlet.. i would REALLY appreciate it if you could look at my situation and give me some advice, because your posts REALLY connected with me, i really see myself in it so much !
By the way my  "big problem " is i always feel i need to prove myself to others, and i dont want to feel insecurity, i want to look superuber cool (which i can only be if i let go of shit and enjoy the moment and myself).. but yeah, i'm very very in my head and dont know who i am anymore.

I'm talking too much !

peace

Jarno.
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#19
Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 601

Fuuuuu just wrote a long post and it got fuckin deleted. Fuck. Okay, I'll write it all out for you again Jarno, just because you're an endearing chode and you remind me of myself.

A year and a half have passed since I wrote that post and my perspective has changed quite a bit. If I had to respond to the OP today, I wouldn't have written what I wrote then. Not because my post was factually wrong. No, in fact it was pretty much spot on. I wouldn't have write it that way because I now understand that what I wrote is completely unhelpful.

Unhelpful? How so? It certainly appears to have helped you - right? It helps you to see the functioning of the ego and learn to overcome it so you can be the guy you really want to be, the one currently covered up by all the bullshit....... RIGHT???

Wrong. What I wrote hasn't helped you and it can't help you. If you think it's helped you, you're just adding another chapter to the story of you. The truth is, you cannot defeat the ego.

Let me repeat that. YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE EGO. It will forever control your life and there is nothing you can do about it.

Now you're probably thinking "Huh? What's up with Hamlet? He was so full of wisdom back in the day and now he sounds like someone who's just given up on life!"

Don't worry, I'm still full of wisdom. Fuller than ever.

You can't defeat the ego.

How so? Eckhart Tolle has defeated the ego.

Nope.

Of course he has - he wrote a whole book on how to defeat the ego.

No he didn't. He wrote a whole book on how to be aware of the ego.

But once you become aware of it, it dissolves - right??

Let me ask you - has this been true in your experience? Has observing the ego defeated it?

Now you're probably thinking "Well... no not completely, but I'm still pretty new at this. I just have to keep observing the ego and eventually it will disappear. I've already noticed a lot of improvement."

Good luck. The fact is - nobody has defeated the ego. Ever. Not even Buddha defeated the ego. Not a single person in the history of the universe has defeated the ego.

You cannot defeat the ego.

You cannot defeat the ego and I'm gonna tell you why,

You want me to tell you why?

Of course you do.

So I'll tell you why.

You ready?


You really ready for it?




Get ready for it!




You can't defeat the ego because................................................... YOU ARE THE EGO!


Sit with that for a while. Just sit with it. Don't read the rest of this post. Take your eyes from the computer screen for a minute and consider whether there is any truth to that statement. "I am the ego." Even if you think you've heard this before, really consider it. I am the ego. The ego is me. The ego and I are two names for the same thing.





Okay. Did you look? Don't read this if you didn't actually take a full minute to look. Go back and look.


Okay, good. I'll take it you've looked. If you didn't stop to DEEPLY consider the implications of what I said, then you're a chode and you'll never get good at girls or life or presence. Ever. So really look. I am the ego. Is it true?

You are the ego. That is what you are. In fact, ego just means "me". That's all it is. EGO = ME.

So you cannot defeat the ego. Can you see why? Because the ego cannot defeat the ego. Impossible. Can't be done. You cannot defeat yourself. Nor can you overcome yourself. Nor can you transcend yourself. Nor can you even fucking embrace yourself, accept yourself, understand yourself, or even observe yourself. Think about that for a second. You cannot observe yourself. Go ahead. Try and observe yourself. Do it right now. Same looking thing as above. Observe yourself.

What did you observe? Your thoughts? The sensations in your body? The room you're in? Is any of that stuff YOU? Are you your thoughts? Are you your body? Are you the room?

No, you are not any of those things. You cannot observe you. I cannot see I.

You cannot observe yourself and you cannot observe your ego. Hence you cannot defeat the ego. Hence any attempt to outsmart it/overcome it/shine the light of awareness onto it is hopeless. Cannot be done.

So next time you're in the club and you feel approach anxiety, don't think "there's the ego again". No - what you're observing is not the ego. You are not observing yourself. You're just observing an emotion. That's all. A feeling. A contraction in the stomach. That's what you're observing. Is that contraction in the stomach the ego? Hell no. The ego is you. The ego is the one OBSERVING the emotion. The ego is the OBSERVER.

Okay?

You are the observer. You are the experiencer. And you are the ego. So the ego is the observer. The ego looks everywhere, IN SEARCH FOR ITSELF. Trying to find itself - trying to root itself out so that it can finally live a cool life, free from ego. But that's impossible. The ego cannot see itself. Wanna know why? Here's the second secret, an even bigger secret than "you are the ego".

The second secret is....

Are you ready?



Okay, I won't do that whole thing again. Here it is: The second secret is that the ego is just a thought.

That's the second, earth shattering secret. The ego is just a thought. That's what it is. "You" are just a thought. You don't actually exist in reality, other than as a thought. The ego has no more existence than a unicorn. It exists as an idea - but it doesn't actually exist as anything that can be observed or experienced. The ego is the assumed observer. I put assumed in italics because it's just an assumption. We assume there must be someone observing the world, someone having this experience. Who am I? Well, I am the one having this experience! Really? Have you ever EXPERIENCED yourself having an experience? Or have you just experienced experience and assumed there was a you to do the experiencing? You are not the experiencer. You are just a thought. You are the answer to the question "Who is experiencing this?" The answer to that question is a thought: "me". That thought is the birth of you, the birth of ego. And that thought can never defeat itself. It can only be recognised for what it is. A thought. The moment you recognise the ego as being only a thought, it loses its power. It doesn't disappear. It just loses its power. Its power over you? No, it doesn't lose its power over you, because you ARE the ego (remember secret number 1?). So it doesn't lose power over itself. It just loses power over all other thoughts. It stops hijacking the brain. Whose brain? Your brain? No, not your brain. You are just a thought. The brain has no owner. It just is. It's just a brain. This body is just  a body. Not yours. Just a body. The thoughts in the head aren't YOUR thoughts. That's just another thought. Can you see? Can you see that "I am having these thoughts" is in ITSELF just another thought?

Does this make any sense to you Jarno? You cannot defeat the ego because you are the ego and the ego is just a thought. Which means you are just a thought. And a thought can defeat itself and come out victorious. It can't. It can just be recognised for what it is - a powerless thought.  A thought among others. Next time you go out to the club, realise it's not YOU doing any of the pickup. There is just a body talking to another body. Both bodies are having experiences. No one owns those experiences, they just arise. Any feeling of ownership is just that - a feeling. Any thought that you need to BE something is just that - a thought. See what I mean by "The ego will forever control your life and there is nothing you can do about it"? See? The ego will forever control YOUR life and there is nothing YOU can do about it? The ego is you. The thought of you will always control YOUR life, because the idea of life belonging to someone already means ego has appropriated life. Claimed ownership of life. A fictitious "I" who is living life. The hero of the story. YOU will always control YOUR life and there is nothing YOU can do about it. When the mind believes that life belongs to some entity called "me" (the ego) then there is nothing "I" (the ego) can do about it. The mind can only recognise that these entities (me/I/mine/my/ego) are thoughts, thus taking away their destructive power. That's all they are, just thoughts. Harmless, when truly recognised for what they are. They refer to nothing in reality. Look at reality - where are you? Where is "I"? Look. REALLY look. Look around you. What I'm saying here is not some far-fetched spiritual mumbo jumbo. It's incredibly simple and real. And true. Look at reality. WHERE IS THE SELF?
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#20

Jarno

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/25/2010 | Posts: 609

Wow Hamlet.. deep post.
I appreciate you answered my question. Especially with such a long reply. But it sounds a bit vague to me, maybe i'm not ready for it. But i don't know..
I will read it again some other time when i'm more fresh in my head !
It sounds a bit like the books from Jed Mckenna, those ideas you are sharing.
But i do want to say that your post has helped me so far with : Letting go of all pickup material for a while.. I seriously started living again since 3years of sitting at home since my dad died
(that's when i got that social anxiety).. And the last week or 2 weeks i don't quite know how long are going very well. I am not thinking so much about being this or doing that. I just be in the moment.
And realize that all this pickup guru spiritual crap is all simple, not easy but simple as you said it before if i remember it good..
It's just like what Tyler Durden said in the blueprint   "Once you look back to this and you think.. I did a 4 days seminar on this stuff and all i needed to do was JUST CHILL!!"  hahaha, i found that fantastic.
It's like when you just chill and let go of all that crap in your head.. just chill in the moment. Then suddenly you realize that you are being dominant, you dictate reality, you self-amuse etcetcetc.. And THEN
it clicks !
But yeah.. maybe this is a little too deep for me what you wrote. MAybe also because i have been a while off of this pickup spiritual thing but yeah.. I appreciate it and will read it some other time again carefully ! ;)

Peace out bro.
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