THE FORUMS

December 4th, 2016
Applying a Mindset.
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Halffull

Halffull

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Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

There's a trend I've been noticing recently when trying to talk to guys about inner game. There are certain guys who you can reframe something on a totally abstract level, and they'll immediately be able to incorporate it into their game. If you tell them about having intent they'll be able to immediately go to the club and it will up their game by leaps and bounds.

With other guys I'll try to explain this and they don't even understand how this helps them. Have intent. Ok. But HOW do I show intent. Examples give them specific things to try, but still it doesn't lead to the adoption of the mindset. It's not until weeks or months later, something will happen in the field, and they'll come back with an epiphany they had which was exactly the abstract concept I had been trying to impart all that time.

At first I just chalked it up to different learning styles, but then I began to think... there must be something that the first guy is doing that the second guy isn't which allows him to apply the mindset. When you look at it from a practical standpoint, how you think has absolutely no bearing on what happens to you in field... other people have no idea what you're thinking, only what's on the outside. So what was it that was allowing the first guy to effortlessly take a mindset and turn it into something that was getting him results?

What I want to do is take these guys who do much better with concrete details, and teach them how to take any mindset and turn it into those concrete details which they can work with.

This isn't meant to be an exhaustive overarching theory, it's just a list of practical things you can do to apply mindsets. As such, if you guys have anything to add, please do.


Learn the art of expression: This is a HUGE one, but the least concrete of them all. There IS no natural game without expression. It's at the heart of every good natural. Expression is the communication of inner state through outward appearances. Let's start with the basics: Posture, Voice tone and fluctuation, eyes and eyebrows, hand gestures. All communicate something about your inner state.

When you're happy, it gives you that wonderful feeling, it's just bursting out of you, outward and upwards. So your body takes on those characteristics. Your posture widens outwards and your back straigtens upwards. Your mouth widens into a smile. Your voice tone rises. Your eyes open wide and communicate that energy, your hand gestures become wider and have that upward quality to them.

When you're angry, there's a feeling of energy being sucked inwards and building up. So you're body expresses this. Your eyebrows narrow inwards, your eyes communicate that intense energy building. Your posture tightens up and your shoulders hunch inwards. Your fists clench inwards and tighten.

Learning this skill is essential if you want to master natural game.

Imagine how a guy who had that mindset would act: Ask yourself: "If I believed X, what would I do?" If I truly believed that every girl was attracted to me, what would I do? If I truly believed that I should be amusing myself, what would I do?" Then take those actions.

Imagine how a guy who had that mindset would think: What would be the thought process of someone who had X mindset? If a guy was really into self amusement... what would he be thinking? He'd be thinking "how can I make this fun?". If a guy truly believed that every girl was attracted to him, what would he be thinking? He'd be thinking "What is she doing to impress me?" Then you take these thoughts and consciously use them to replace your old thoughts.

When you catch yourself thinking "I'm bored", when you're standing in the corner at the club, you stop yourself and replace it with "How can I make this fun?", then you realize you could go and do crazy moves on the dancefloor.

When you catch yourself thinking "she must not like me" about a girl who's looking at another guy, you stop yourself and think "How is she trying to impress me?", and you realize that she's just playing hard to get, or, she hasn't realized yet how attractive you are.

Think of guys you know who have that trait: Think of a guy you know who has that mindset, and ask yourself "How do I know?". For instance, I know that I can immediately tell if a guy is self amusing, because all the self amusing guys I know have this similar thing they do. They all have this sort of half smile on this face, while they scan the room. Once they find something that can amuse them, the half smile develops into a full smile and they share it with other people. I know a guy is sexual because of his voice tone and fluidity of movement. This can be tv and movie characters just as easily as it can be examples from your own life.

Overcompensate with verbals:This is something that I have found to be crucial and universally applicable for me when I am first developing a mindset. I think to myself "What would a guy who had this on his mind all the time talk about?" Eventually, as you begin to internalize the mindsets, you tone down the verbals because it comes through in subcommunications, but to start it really helps you get the mindsets down pat.

Let's use the example of confidence... what would a guy who had self belief on his mind all the time talk about? He'd talk about how awesome he was, how sexy he was, he'd accept every compliment with an "I know"... again this is overcompensation, you're taking confidence to the point of cockiness verbally, because you don't yet have the subcommunications down.

What about dominance? What would a guy who had dominance on his mind all the time talk about? He'd be telling people what to do. He'd always be telling people to get him things and he'd very clearly state what he wanted. again, overcompensation, this is just a stage you go through, and gets toned down in the end.

Think about the mindset as a default state: Think and act as if the mindset is a natural part of you that has always been there. Instead of thinking "I'm trying to be unreactive, I shouldn't respond to their teasing."  Think "I'm unreactive, of course I couldn't respond to their teasing."  Instead of "I'm being self amusing, I should do something totally unexpected," Think "I'm a self amusing guy, how could I NOT do something unexpected." (Credit IvanPerez)

Tune into the emotional wavelength of the mindset: Ask yourself what it would feel like to have that state. What sensations would you have in your body, what aura would you give off? Then from the inside out, try to imagine yourself into that state.(Credit Hamlet)

I'll post up some examples later taking specific mindsets that RSD talks about and breaking them down using the above methods. For now, I hope this is enough to demystify the whole mindset thing for you detail oriented guys out there.
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#1
AustinProfessional

AustinProfessional

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Join Date: 06/30/2008 | Posts: 388

I feel like this is a very important topic. A lot of posts on here are "but HOW do I do this?" They understand the concept but don't know right action mentally and physically. This isn't an algorithm, there is no step 5 OK you're a PUA.

Once fleshed out more, I think this is definitely wiki material. Great insight.
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#2
IvánPérez

IvánPérez

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 1714

Genius Halffull. I would add one:

Make it normal, so it is already natural. When you already believe something is the right thing, but you may not know you have the courage to do it. Make it natural. Think to yourself 'how could I not X?'. Is it a trick? Not that much because you already believe you are doing the right thing, it only allows you to express it.

Cheers.
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Some principles that have been getting me some success:
- When I'm out: it's me-time. I focus on expressing myself and doing what's fun for me, I don't care about girls. Self-absorbedness.
- 'It's all good, it's going to be fine, I am enough'. No worries or concerns. Let the dynamics work for me.
- Nobody is going to pull girls home for me. Self-image will stop you, take action regardless.
- Focus on finding a girl DTF vs. trying to game/arouse/whatever girl after girl.

IvánPérez.
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#3
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

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Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

You may have just uncovered the missing link!
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Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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#4
gruenfeld

gruenfeld

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 1283

Halffull wrote:
 There are certain guys who you can reframe something on a totally abstract level, and they'll immediately be able to incorporate it into their game. If you tell them about having intent they'll be able to immediately go to the club and it will up their game by leaps and bounds.

That's because they want it bad enough.

AND, i've been blabbing about this relentlessly. you must be in a mode where you understand stuff. -chill mind. if you are scattered, it just goes over your head.
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#5
Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 589

It also has to do with ego. If they're too identified with their chode selves, then they would find it frightening to ask: "how can I make this fun?" in the club. So the sense of unease in their stomachs would stop that train of thought before it's even begun. Or, rather than stopping it, they would "conceptify" it - they would make self-amusement into a little word that floats around their heads and interacts with other pickup concepts, such as "intent". But they don't let it sink in, because the ego subconsciously filters out anything that could threaten its existence. So they're racking their brains trying to UNDERSTAND self-amusement  when really it's the easiest thing in the world. Self-amusement isn't some ethereal, highly advanced concept that you need to be super smart to understand. It's so utterly simple that it eludes us. That's why it's difficult. You actually have to STOP thinking to understand how simple it is.

The scariest thing for a smart guy is to go open something without anything to say. Without planning it out in advance. But if he actually has the guts and the humility to go open sets without thinking, he'll soon find that he's self-amusing. He'll feel an enormous sense of freedom - of not having to always be one step ahead. Then he's like: *ding!* "NOW I get it! Hahahaha, it was so simple!" But really, when you look at it, the self-amusement came OUT OF no-mind. He didn't consciously reach for it, it came to him. Next time he's in the club, he's likely to reach for that self-amusement that he felt and be disheartened if it doesn't show. He'll think: "wtf? I had it last time! Why can't I have it now?" That's because he hasn't understood the UNDERLYING lesson, which is that you can't reach for self amusement. As Ciaran used to say, it is a "red herring".

Instructors face this problem when teaching reverse engineered concepts to students. How do you teach a concept, and then make the guy understand that you can't get it if you TRY to get it?

The same thing happens when we try to reach for intent, or woo, or anything else that nuRSD teaches. Most guys think: "how can I get intent? How can I muster that raw masculine power within?" and they begin to self-monitor to see if they have intent. But really, all they have to do is look at a hot girl - I mean, really LOOK at her body, her face, her lips, imagine touching her. And then, boom: Intent comes.

As you said, there are two types of guys, the ones who get it and the ones who don't. But here's WHY they do or don't get it.
1. The first category of guys are the ones who understand right off the bat because they don't overanalyse stuff. Think Hoobie. "Oh, you shouldn't put limitations on yourself. Okay, cool, I won't do that then." Voilà. Problem solved. These guys are fucking rare, and most of them are naturals who never bothered to learn the game, cause it would probably do them more harm than good.
2. The second category of guys (which I belonged to for years, but less so now) are the ones who, as you say, take weeks or months in field to understand something. They're filtering info through the ego and creating nice little theories and mental constructs from concepts that they like to DISCUSS. Although it's more difficult for these guys to get good than for category 1 guys, they CAN transition into the quick learning category if they come to understand how the ego works. How we create a false identity and try to live up to it. How, once we've learned to self-amuse, we subconsciously form an identity as the guy who has fun in a club and gets women to like him and then try to LIVE UP TO THAT IDENTITY. This happens over and over and over again, with every single concept learned, until we realise the fundamental ego pattern and simply choose not to create an identity out of it but to be present. Even the fear of subconsciously creating an identity of it disappears, because presence dissolves everything. Now a category 2 guy can transition into category 1. He can hear something like: "Be the music" and instead of going into a nightclub and TRYING to be the music, he'll simply ALLOW himself to be the music. He'll listen to the music intently, with full presence, and then he'll actually start to feel his body want to groove and dance. "Be the music"is no longer a cool concept he learned online - instead he understands that there is nothing to understand and he allows it to penetrate deep.


So to wrap this rant up, what Halffull said in the OP, asking yourself "How would a guy who sees himself as attractive actually think around women?" is ideally a way to bypass the concept "attraction" which your mind has all sorts of cute theories about and go straight into feeling - straight into present-moment awareness. HOWEVER, it is still possible to THEORISE up in your head about how attractive guys see themselves without allowing that emotion to penetrate into your body. Your mind could say: "Oh these attractive guys probably think everyone's their friend, and they probably misinterpret every signal in their favour" but your ego could still filter out the emotion to avoid it *clicking* as an epiphany. It would be pure brain stuff - thoughts. What's worse is those thoughts would be CORRECT. Attractive guys actually DO have these thoughts. But see that wouldn't help you if you don't allow it all to penetrate to your core. So as with most problems, I think practicing presence is what's gonna improve your game as well as your ability to understand new concepts. Otherwise you just deal with concept-overload without ever improving, and this post would be another one of those concepts. It would be: Halffull's get-inside-the-head-of-an-attractive-guy-technique and it wouldn't mean anything.

Hope that makes some sense to someone.
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#6
HappyHero

HappyHero

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 281

Just, Wow!  Great post.  I copied and pasted this in my "kick ass articles" folder.

Can't wait for the follow up
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#7
Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 589

thisguy wrote:

Hamlet wrote:
Amazing post
Wow...Amazing post dude. You really opened my eyes.

So, practice presence, then FEEL concepts. Don't think about it.

I know it sounds like I'm trying to logic-ize what you said, but I'm just trying to see if I got it right. Could you elaborate on how to use presence to further understand concepts?

How would I go about creating that click that epiphanies give you?

Yes, feel them, as Halffull and I have both said. If you haven't read Tolle, then I recommend doing so. That's one way to generate a click. There are others. Basically, they all come down to bypassing thought in some way and internalising concepts. 

One way to internalise something is to pummel your brain with the same concept expressed in 28 000 different ways until something resonates with you. This is what Eckhart Tolle does in The Power of Now and what Tyler does in The Blueprint. This is still bypassing thought, but through the principle of "fire a machine gun at a target 1 mile away for 4 days straight and hopefully one bullet will hit".

Another way to create the click is to first learn the concept and understand it on a logical level, then go in field and have a great time when you're totally in state, and suddenly notice how you're self-amusing/showing intent/whatever and then put the lived experience and the thought together and have an aha-moment. As I said above, this usually consists of: "Oh! NOW I get it! Hahahaha, it's so SIMPLE!" Of course everything you ever need to know about  picking up women is simple. Not easy, but simple.

A third way to create a click, and one to be recommended for those of us that are theory junkies, is to stop reading pickup and self-improvement theory for a while. Don't go to the forums, don't read anything, don't watch anything. Just take a break from it. Hang out with friends. Go to the gym. Do other stuff. Fill your day with work and fun activities. Don't leave empty evenings in your schedule where you're aimlessly clicking around on the computer. After a week you'll probably find that your mind is less active - that you're more in the moment, that you're happier (as opposed to thinking about how to be happy), and a lot of other things. Then you'll look back at your period of searching for the magic pill online and go: "Ugh... that was just a bit pathetic... like I was reaching too far for it. I made this whole business unnecessarily complicated. I should have just chilled out." Once again, you've bypassed thought by not indulging in mental masturbation.

I'm sure there are other ways to generate clicks. What's probably not gonna do it, however, is spending an hour or two online every day, going out once or twice a week and barely pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, coming back online to theorise some more, and just keep going like that without a clear idea of where you are or where you're going.

I don't know how new you are to this stuff, but for most guys here, I would say don't worry too much about the theory. I've spent about 3 years doing this stuff, on and on off. I've read tons and tons of pickup advice. Yet I still go online for more. Now, am I REALLY looking for some little bit of information that's gonna make me a pimp? No, I look for something else. I look for INSPIRATION. I like to read field reports that make me laugh. I like to read damn good posts by guys like Halffull, Android, Pimp of Persia, Manwhore, and of course the instructors. Not because they contain so much valuable INFORMATION that I have never thought of before. Most of it I've thought of many times, and if I haven't then it's usually some little niche area of pickup, like how to game on airplanes. Useful, perhaps, but it's not gonna make a world of difference to who I am. No, I look for inspiration. I look for that feeling of enthusiasm when something resonates within me, even if it's something as simple as "Don't worry, be happy." I have way more information than I need about picking up girls. I'm looking for that feeling. See, when I read a post by one of these guys, I'm literally doing what Halffull recommended: getting inside the head of an attractive guy. If it's a well-written post, then the words will carry a certain energy with them that motivates me. Take Halffull's magnum opus on Making Connections. He doesn't really say anything that's all that revolutionary in it. I mean, we've all heard that being able to listen is a virtue, that we should be real when talking to others, etc. It's not the CONTENT of what he's saying that's so effective, but the WAY he says it. It really makes you wanna go out and just love the whole world. That, to me, is what this forum is all about, and what reading pickup theory is all about. If you overdo it, however, then even the truly effective stuff will simply be lost in the general churning of information up in your head. You might read something inspiring, but then you'll go on to read another 10 posts, and the inspiration will be diluted and then forgotten. So the best way to generate a click is to be grateful when you're inspired by something, and then allow that feeling to sink in. Play around with the feeling. Apply it in your life. Go meet a friend with that feeling in your chest. Go chat to some girls. That's how the click comes. Or rather, the click will already be there, and then when you notice the smoothness and natural quality of your own behaviour, you'll be able to see the link between your being and the idea in your head. There are many paths leading to that place, and worrying too much about which one you choose won't help you. In fact, don't worry, be happy.
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#8
IvánPérez

IvánPérez

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 1714

Hey, not to spoil the Tolle thing but from what I know about Halffull he is not a waa-waa-presence dude. He wrote an awesome articles with logical, understandable ways you can apply right now. Everything about game doesn't have to be misterious, so don't mess this thread.

Concrete questions please. Halffull, mate, if I'm wrong say it.
__________________
Some principles that have been getting me some success:
- When I'm out: it's me-time. I focus on expressing myself and doing what's fun for me, I don't care about girls. Self-absorbedness.
- 'It's all good, it's going to be fine, I am enough'. No worries or concerns. Let the dynamics work for me.
- Nobody is going to pull girls home for me. Self-image will stop you, take action regardless.
- Focus on finding a girl DTF vs. trying to game/arouse/whatever girl after girl.

IvánPérez.
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#9
Halffull

Halffull

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Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

I think Hamlet's post makes an important point that I didn't mention in the original:

Tune into the emotional wavelength of the mindset:  Ask yourself what it would feel like to have that state. What sensations would you have in your body, what aura would you give off?  Then from the inside out, try to imagine yourself into that state.

However, I don't think you can lump not understanding high level concepts under "having ego" or "not wanting it badly enough".  I think we sometimes forget that there are genuine differences in the way people think and understand things.  The forum is mostly geared towards a certain type of learning, this post is meant to bridge the gap to people who don't necessarily think in the same way.  That's why I tried to take Hamlet's post and sum it up above in a more logical and concrete fashion... hopefully more easily digested by people who think in that way.
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#10
Getupa

Getupa

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Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

 one of the greatest...
very value giving...
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