THE FORUMS

September 20th, 2014
Advice on ex wife lesbian please!
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share
 
Sexpest

Sexpest

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/09/2007 | Posts: 186

Hey, need to vent some fustration and get a few peoples views on this guys.

Ok, lil back story. Am 24, got two kids with a woman i am currently divorcing. She was always bi, now she seems to think she is full gay. Not too much of an issue for me but.....
I am really not comfortable with her and another woman raising my children. I thought it was a passing faze but she now tells me they are thinking of moving in together.

I have already told her my views that i really dont believe in children being brought up by lesbians, especially mine, i want them to have the most solid of foundations possible, and kids are easily confused.
I told her i have no problem with the gay thing but to save all the affection and stuff for when the kids are not around as having seperated parents can mess them around enough let alone getting their hars around why 'mummy' kisses another woman.

She basically told me its tough shit even though when we first discussed her getting into a lesbian relationship she told me she had the same views as me, she even used to turn the tv over if there were gay people kissing on tv in front of the kids.

Also, the lesbian she is with is kind of unstable as is their mum, and i dont trust what she is going to be like around the kids if things start going wrong between the two of them. (I do admit this part might be me just being an overprotective parent)

The kids mum thinks as long as her and I are doing a good enough job and show them enough love it wont matter, but i disagree.

Was hoping i could get some of your nuetral views on this and some advice on what i should do or any experience you have with this.

Dont be afraid to tell me if i am being a dick.

Ta guys.
Login or register to post.
#1
Frame

Frame

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/29/2007 | Posts: 350

You are being a bit of a dick.

There's nothing you can do to start with, if your ex wife is a lesbian she will want to find a partner, you can not object to that. It will not harm the kids, especially if you play an active role and be the male influence in their growth (which I believe is nessacary). When they stay with their mother, her partner will be able to help raise the children and allieviate some of the problems that arrise for a single mother looking after kids (be it only on the weekends or whatever).

Their is no evidence that children of gay parents turn gay. Sexuality is a genetic thing to a very large extent.

I really think you should be honest with yourself and re-consider your objections; I wonder if perhaps you still have feelings for your ex-wife and are jealous of her finding a new partner?

Best Regards

Frame
__________________
Enlightenment in Ten Minutes
Ask yourself "Is it possibile that I don't exist, that there is no see-er, only see-ing. That there is no I to experience things, only the experience itself."
Just ask yourself is it possible, that is all. Once you do that, with an honest heart, you will see it is truth and that that is enlightenment.

Then message me.
Login or register to post.
#2

DiTi

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/22/2008 | Posts: 215

Take her to court, and make things legally clear.

Then again, it might blow up in your face - because of this whole feminist sillyness going around the world nowadays...
Login or register to post.
#3
Change

Change

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/11/2007 | Posts: 679

do you have any say in the matter? even if you violently object to her moving in with her new partner, is there anything you can do about it?

if not, then chill out, accept that it is what it is, and be the best dad for your kids that you can be.

if there is, what can you do?

how you feel about it is pretty much irrelevant. what actions you can take, if any, is not.
__________________
Be a man of value and success will follow. - Albert Einstein
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn - Alexander~
Strength finds strength. Weakness finds weakness. There's only one thing that you can do to sort this out. Become strong. - Ciaran
Login or register to post.
#4

Yahma

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/12/2008 | Posts: 18

You are absolutely NOT overreacting. Women (Men too) can become irrational when experiencing the feelings of love, so much so that their desires can override what is best for their kids.

Sounds like that is what is happening with your wife. I wouldn't let my ex raise our kids with another lesbian! I'd be in court fighting! Do what you can to be a good father, and be firm with your ex. If that means going to court, then thats what you gotta do as a caring father.
Login or register to post.
#5

JohnJohnJohnson

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/05/2007 | Posts: 719

I'm going to disagree with the last poster and say you're definitely being a BIT of a dick. All that matters is how they treat the children. Will the children be more likely to catch "the gay?" I honestly don't think so!

You getting upset about this is so so so much worse for your kids than anything else could be right now. If I were you, I would veeeery carefully introspect, in order to discover whether or not this "concern" was just a manifestion of resentment for the divorce. I mean, that has got to bruise the ego somewhat - wife gone, with a GIRL.

But the healthiest thing for a child is a lot of happiness.

So what are you bringing?
__________________
LTR is strictly non-closed
Login or register to post.
#6
DarkMatter

DarkMatter

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/23/2008 | Posts: 251

Sexpest Wrote:

I am really not comfortable with her and another woman raising my children. I thought it was a passing faze but she now tells me they are thinking of moving in together.


That attitude is so... 80's...

Why does it matter?

The ONLY thing that will turn it into an issue for your kid is if you push your prejudices onto the kid.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#7
Sexpest

Sexpest

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/09/2007 | Posts: 186

Ok, some good points.

The thing is, i am not usually against homosexuality, i have friends that are gay, male and female. Its just that when finding out i was going to be a father, this is not how imagined my family to be like.

I do care for my wife, but i do not love her, this is not bitterness. It is not about my children maybe becoming gay, Just me unsure of how these things can affect kids, and not wanting anything to get in the way of a happy future.

I do think about trying to gain custody, but then would i be able to do a good enough job as a father, i would i end up becoming just a male mother, staying at home, cooking, cleaning, giving no dominant/leader male example to my son and daughter?

Fuck knows, so much to think about that could just be irrelevant, i just love my kids and want the best for them.
Login or register to post.
#8

Yahma

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/12/2008 | Posts: 18

Sexpest Wrote:
I do think about trying to gain custody, but then would i be able to do a good enough job as a father, i would i end up becoming just a male mother, staying at home, cooking, cleaning, giving no dominant/leader male example to my son and daughter?

Fuck knows, so much to think about that could just be irrelevant, i just love my kids and want the best for them.


Sorry to hear about your problems. I'm in a similar situation, although my ex is not lesbian.... I know that if I were to raise my kids, I'd become a male mother. (which is not necessarily bad, but you can probably forget about dating the 20something hotties). So perhaps, you should count your blessings if your ex is being a good mother to your children. On the otherhand, if she puts her relationship with this woman before your kids, you need to step in.
Login or register to post.