THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
StateIsKing's 21-day Challenge
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stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

I turned 21 two weeks ago. Now that the dust has settled, I'm going to do what I said I would do as soon as I became of age: go out 21 days in a row and approach.

Here are my rules:

1) Go out EVERY DAY for the next 21 days for two hours or 5-10 cold approaches
2) I must plow until: a) I'm asked to leave b) girl, girls, girls & guys physically walk away c) # close or extraction
3) I will go out alone if I have to
4) NO "guy's night out"; for the next 21 days, my goal is to take my game to a new level, not to have a good time w/ my friends (I don't have many here anyway, I'm only here for a summer internship)
5) Drink ONE drink (if I choose) only once I'm in-state (thanks Jeffy)
6) Field Report every 3 days

That's it. My challenge starts in two days (Thursday).

-J
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#1
stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Day 1:

It was a thursday, so I went out to W 6th street to a place called Mercury. I must've gotten there way too early, because there were literally only people over 40 there (well-dressed and sexy, but still). I bounced to a place called Paninis, and then to one called Traffic. This place is DEAD, but I get a phone call from one of my girls from school and oddly enough, this gets me into state like crazy.

I open this dude standing next to me, who's with a HB8. Before I can build rapport with this dude (I'm out alone btw), he's like "Heeey, this is G . She just got back from Italy." I talk to her, and he bounces to go to the bathroom. I engage this girl like crazy with hyperfocus, stories, and she's eating it all up. She's playing with my white sunglasses, asks me to dance, and asks me to flex for her, etc... I've gotten into the habit of leaning against the wall/bar and have the girl "game me." She starts calling me a liar (about my age, nationality, state of inebriation, height...), but I'm for the most part unreactive.

We can't find her friend, so we walk up and down the street summoning him. At this point, she tells me she's only 20 and she'll have trouble getting into places, blah blah blah...I hit up other places and try to open girls, but no luck (the shock of the club loudness is overbearing and I'm not in state). I see that she's molesting one of the bouncers trying to get in. I do the magical tap, get her to turn around, and say "give me your number." (no crystallization).

I only did one two more approaches that night, but I spent about an hour with this girl so it's justified.

In retrospect, I could have and should have made out with this girl. I guess I figured it was my first approach on my first day and it was "too good to be true." Tsk tsk.

Day 2:

Not much here; Cleveland's DEAD on fridays where I went (some places only open during Indians' games). I did call HB8 from yesterday, but she cut me off within like a minute and a half. I talked to the hottie bartender and some wasted bar fly dude. Other than that, there were some couples having dinner, etc...at least I found out where NOT to go on fridays.

Day 3 (last night):

I went out alone again. I showed up to Traffic first, and chatted up the hottie bartender for a while (Cleveland's full of these). This place was dead, so I left. I did spot one chode crystal and started to notice some of the other typical club shit (linger chodes, dudes with game, dancefloor chode crystals). I opened a few girls but didn't stick around for long or got their numbers. As a new rule, I will try to # close every girl I talk to for more than five minutes from now on.

I go to a place called Bar Flyy, and I BECOME a linger chode. This place is LOUD. I had a hard time ordering a drink (soda n lime). My boy calls me up and I tell him to meet me up front. I promise myself that I'll do at least 1 approach before leaving, so I approach with the famous Jeffy "Douchebag opener." She laughs and tells me that I DO look like a douchebag, but then she tells me to go away because I asked her if she was "cheap." I also stepped on her foot and she was wearing sandals.

I run into HB8 from other night and she's not very receptive (maybe I should've gone in for a hug and picked her up in the air instead of a high five, which is fun but doesn't show enough intent). At any rate, I think I'll be seeing a lot of this girl on weekends.

I meet up with Rob and we go to a place called Pig something or other. I try the "spin and in" and I tell Rob to do the same (this dude doesn't have the least bit of game, but whatever....i'll try to get him up to speed). These count as approaches, but for some reason they don't do me any justice. The girl always looks freaked out or simply won't do it. I open another girl with douchebag opener and she doesn't hear it, and thinks I called her a douchebag. Some dude rolls up and makes the "he's drunk" signal (which is nonsense, but whatever). I complete my five sets and bounce.

We hit up Mercury before we leave, and I open with the Tyler very simple "what are you drinking." She tells me, and then she arms me with an incredible follow up "opener." She literally says "just out of curiosity, what do you think is the safest drink to order, you know, that the bartender won't fuck up no matter where you go or the circumstances." This chick's there with her boyfriend/fiancee, but we start asking other people this and it almost sounds like an opinion opener, but it works! I'll use this next time.

CONCLUSION:

Going out three days in a row helped me realize that I hardly think about the times I get blown out the next day (no matter how "bad"). I've become a little more in tune with the dynamics of bars and clubs, the typical shit, and the non-typical shit. I chose to start off my 21-day on a high-intensity scenario on purpose, so that I can reflect and apply some of the concepts over the next few downer days.

The field teaches you to work under pressure and gets you out of the "ideal scenario" mentality and always waiting for the optimal moment.

More FR's to come.
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#2
stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

These slow days seem to blend together. However, I'm no longer afraid to go out ALONE.

If you're never gone out alone, DO IT RIGHT NOW! Two things happen:

1) It forces you to engage other people (guys too) in conversations because you feel awkward otherwise; at first you'll be even MORE awkward because you keep thinking they're going to ask "why are you alone? no friends?" and fuck up the set
2) You don't have your chode crystal with you, so you have to get into state all by yourself

Lessons learned:
1) My vocal projection is good (I rarely have people saying "what?!" to anything i say), but it seems too nasal...not sure if that's good
2) When I'm telling a story, it's better not to let other people interrupt me for any reason and just finish my sentence (at least)
3) Strangers are more interested in short conversation bits at smaller bars w/ regulars (aka i field tested "short set" article)
4) I will not die from rejection
5) I hesitate less when starting conversations, but it's still not like tim's "girl...hot girl...must meet hot girl"

That's really it for these slower week days. Tomorrow should pick up leading me into the weekend. I already feel subtly different.
-J
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#3
stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Lot to talk about here. Let's get right into it.


Day 8:
It was a thursday. I called up my buddy P and ended up joining him. The place we went to was pretty dead, but still had some girls. He was with a bunch of friends of his, and I immediately introduced myself to all of them. They loved me.

There was no place for me to sit, so I moved them to a different area away from their table. As we kept chatting, I hit state. When I went to buy a drink, I opened a girl who was alone with a guy. I ignored the guy completely. I told the girl that this was no place to be frowning and that every time I walked by I better get a smile from her. As I was walking back to our table, I opened P's girls (hotties) with some dumb shit. They love me, so I walk away and tell them to join us a little later.

As the night goes by, they do end up joining us and ask me to sit down next to her. I tell the girl that we are now married and that I pawned my wedding ring in order to buy loud/obnoxious speakers. I tell her that the romance has escaped our marriage lately and hold her hand passionately. We take myspace-style pictures (because I told her that I accidentally recorded three hours of static over our wedding video and lost our wedding pictures). As I start to lose the group, I bust into a story about my uncle and his divorce of glory (funny story).

This shit is the money guys! F-book close, etc...she's in my social circle so I'm not that worried. Before I leave, I grab a Cleveland Indians coaster and give it to this girl I'd opened as a present. She loves my attitude, and I tell her that I'll give her more if she's nice and that my mom told me to find nice girls from now on, etc... She laughs, I leave.

Day 9: On friday, I went back to the same area. I slept in on my friday evening nap till about 10:45 pm, but I still HAD to go out. I go out feeling like shit. I'm drinking lime & sodas and decide to chat up the dude next to me and see if I can get a good laugh out of it. I realized that when chatting up dudes , it's better to turn TOWARDS them (even if they're not necessarily your wing). They respond a lot better IMHO. After we laugh it up, he leaves and I get a text message from Eli (my wing back home, who knows about this challenge): "You better be approaching son." Because I've hit state from just talking to this dude next to me, I chuck it up and walk up to a group of five girls.

For all you opener junkies out there, this was my opener: "Hi guys I'm J, you guys look like a nice, open-minded, generous and loving group of girls. I had to come meet you guys." They laugh and ask me to sit down. Two of them leave on a high note of theirs (hmmm) and the other two stay. I put my arm around Nicole and say to her friend "didn't we use to be the cutest couple? come on...i know you pretend to enjoy your life more now that she's not with me, but you secretly miss us being together...admit it!" I have them both laughing with this utter nonsense: good times good times...

We take more pictures (because once again, I "spilled beer all over our old relationship pictures on accident"). Her camera sucks, but whatever. I find that girls love taking pictures of you with them. I'm not sure if it gives them validation or not, but guess where my hands are (and guess where they stay...boom!)? They try to venue change me (meaning I probably didn't take the initiative), and I agree (why not?). I command them to wait for me (they say they'll be outside), but they get opened by some chodes, so I decide that I absolutely MUST open the two-set next to me while I wait for my $2.50 tab. I do so, but because I'm INSIDE my head thinking about the logistics, the girl hears "You're drunk" instead of "You're drunk." If you're in the field a lot, you understand the meaning of that last sentence.

I walk outside but the girls are clearly way down the street. I don't wanna chase them, so I call Eli for tech support. He advises me to open a two-set and venue change them to the next bar, and then re-open the other girls once I'm there. It's a wonderfully good idea I think. I open a two-set, but a fight breaks out in back and they go outside. I hate fights: they fuck up the zen/flow of my game (trying to mitigate this). In retrospect, I should have told those girls that I could be in a fight next and that I need two bodyguards, asked them to flex, grab one in each arm, and bounced. At this point I've opened enough girls, so I cut my losses and go home. I feel great though.

Day 10: I met this dude A at an intern BBQ at our apartment complex. He was interested in coming out to Harry Buffalo w/ me. I get him to come out, and the dude is super energetic. I like it. We chat each other up and we start opening some girls. Yeah, we're getting blown out, but whatever: it's fun. A is energetic, but more uncalibrated than I am. I'm starting to catch a whiff that he might be familiar with the community.

We barhop some, and HE actually stops these two cute joggers and asks them while they're running at midnight (they were). They respond fantastically; he tells them to get changed and meet us at Harry Buffalo. I like this guy's attitude. We go back to Harry Buffalo and open some more sets. We're still getting blown out, but I still think it's funny because we're so high-energy. The hard road to calibration, right?

We leave to ATC (next door) to meet up with K (it's his birthday, and I met him day 8). I see this dude on stage performing who looks like one of my Fraternity buddies. I decide I need to take a phone picture of him. I must have been squirting pickup juice out of my eyes, because this girl I've never seen comes up to me and closes my phone, pops my collar, takes my white sunglasses and puts them on. I start dancing with her to OAR's Crazy Game of Poker. I'm a good dancer guys, but nobody else in the bar is dancing. I'm possessed by SUPERSTAR haha! Before I know it, BOOM! Kiss close. I tell her that we shall meet again, and I go congratulate K on his happy birthday.

After about four steps (and like fifteen "what the F ' just happened's"), I see a girl I've recently opened. I tell her to quit stalking me (classic). We sit down with K (who is FUBAR). Everybody's been buying him shots, and he's going to throw up. A lot. He gets up and I decide to follow him from a distance to make sure he's OK. Now, I'm still glowing from dancer girl apparently, because this HB makes eye contact with me. I don't break it, but I do break through my first chode crystal EVER.

Once again, for the opener junkies out there, this was my opener: "Hi I'm J. I saw you from over there and I had to come meet you." She's smiling, but her friend isn't. I fix that, and now I'm talking some nonsense about me learning to remember names a few years back after I'd forgotten all of my newly-met cousins' names. Whatever. They like it. A comes up, puts his arms around me and says "look at this sexy guy right here!" The girls laugh, and I bring him up to speed. I tell them that the weirder the name association you make, the better it works. He doesn't get it: "What the HELL are you talking about man, you're crazy! That's a weird conversation topic man!" BOOM! OUT! The girls turn away from us, and I grab A and sit him down.

I tell him that he must always agree with what I say when we're opening. He tells me that the guys behind me (aka the chode crystal) were making fun of me like crazy. I tell him that a) I do not give a damn what anybody thinks of me (thanks RSD) and b) I was in my bubble of love with these girls and that I LITERALLY tuned that shit out entirely (it didn't register). At this point he asks me if I've been listening to David D or a certain dude's method (whose name will go unmentioned in this and all notes). I pull him out of the club and we chat.

The dude's clearly in the community, but an extreme novice and kind of confused (and a little too cocky, but it could be good). He tells me he wants to come out with me a couple of nights a week. I say "Sure" and we talk "pickup" on the rest of the drive back. I've read, bought, and watched EVERYTHING under the sun at this point. He hasn't, so this might be tough. Any ideas?

Conclusion:

I'm kind of surprised at my behavior after only ten days. I'm leading interactions, not really feeling shot down after a blow out, etc... My greatest accomplishment was the K-close, but also the fact that I busted right through a jocky chode crystal and didn't even hear them openly mocking me for talking to those girls (THE ONES THEY PROBABLY DIDN'T HAVE THE BALLS/SKILL SET TO TALK TO ANYWAY!). I think I've made very subtle adjustments to my game and state of mind and that collectively, they're reflecting positively. My day game's improved as well.

I MUST BE COME A CLOSER FROM NOW ON.

-J
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#4
stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

I can't believe I'm 2/3 done with this stuff. I already feel significantly different. This is becoming a habit; i don't question going out anymore.

Day 11

Typical sunday at Knockouts. I went there again to sing karaoke. It shocks most people to hear that I go and I do this sober. It gets easier, and it's becoming easier and easier to put myself out there (even when my voice cracks).

This is a dude's sports bar, so I decided to chat up dudes and work on my social skills. I talked to one guy long enough, and he thought i was cool enough and bought me a drink. Is it normal for (straight) dudes to buy you drinks?

Anyway, I sang One Week by Barenaked Ladies. It went alright once I stopped pussyfooting around the words and started singing 100%. I think (and yes, i stole this from jeffy) that there's a lot of analogies between karaoke and game. Also, my voice usually explodes with volume and clarity after i sing.

Day 12

I discovered a bar that's walking distance (hard to do unless you live downtown cleveland). They had karaoke, so I sang again. Truly, I blew it. But whatever, I still high-fived a bunch of people on my way off. They were cold, but i kept state.

It was a monday and the place was relatively dead. I've made it a point to always talk to people and be social, even if no girls are present. It helps you get in that mood.

Day 13


Emotional rollercoaster.

I went out to the same place as the previous night (for karaoke, and to save gas). This place was significantly more lively today. There were actual GIRLS there (besides the bartenders).

I filled out slips for the four songs I wanted to sing (slide by goo goo dolls, bad touch by bloodhound gang, semi-charmed life by third eye blind, and CLOTHES OFF by gym class heroes). I went up to my warmup set with them all facing down and said "pick a card, any card." They laughed, picked one, i high-fived them, and went. I did this within 3 minutes of walking in. I'm getting better at manning the fuck up.

Next, I asked the girl next to me what she would be performing for me tonight. I grilled the crap out of her and she agreed to sing.
HER: "But I never sing, seriously!"
ME:"Irrelevant, time to sing, pick a song...3,2,1 go!"
HER: "If my friend comes"
ME:"Irrelevant, time to sing, pick a song...3,2,1 go!"
HER: laughs "What's your first name so i can know when you're going up...i'm Gina (pronounced gee nah)
ME: It's J; nice to meet you Gina (pronounced as in va-GINA...props to 40-year-old virgin).
HER: laughs "And this is Peter" (chodey next to her, who tried crushing my hand as he shook it...i can taste insecurity in the air)

I go up and perform Clothes Off by GCH and, mind you, I KNOW this whole song and can sing it. I'm acting this shit out fully. By now, the bar's pretty crowded. I can see the engagement, and I can literally SEE the girls looking on-stage. I finish and what I DIDN'T do and need to start doing is approaching immediately after I'm done (high value). I had dudes congratulating me, buying me drinks (led to my eventual drunkness), and I was a star son. A girl i'd held eye contact with kept lookin over. Though I've broken through a chode crystal before, this one was huge (limiting belief). Whatever, I had a couple more songs.

I keep pressing the DJ to let me sing before close (we're out of time). He agrees and I step onto the stage and sing Slide by GGD. I talk to some girls i'd previously opened briefly:
ME: I'm super insecure, could you be my cheerleader once i'm up there
HER: laughs sure
ME: do you want to do indecent backstage dancing for me?
HER: laughs no thanks
ME: fair enough turn away and go sit

Now, I've sung this song many times, and it goes great (even though i'm half shitfaced from free jagerbombs). However, I didn't immediately capitalize on the fact that I'd come off-stage and approached. Girl previously residing in chode crystal had sat close to the stage BY HERSELF, and still, I went back to my chair and chatted up a dude (what am i GAY at this point? eh whatever). I think i'm afraid of success in a sense. The "signals" were there, and i didn't act on them. Lesson learned.

I open the girl who's supposed to be my cheerleader (as i walk up loudly) and get her laughing:
ME: why weren't you cheering?
HER: OMG i totally was!
her fat friend sees me coming and literally BOLTS away from her with a smile
ME: gibberish
HER: HAHAHA
ME: more gibberish / i grab hand
HER: HAHA
ME: i start thinking, getting inside my head "What would YOU sing if you went up there?"
HER: lets go of hand, turns around to "face the stage" cus someone's singing BOOM! OUT!

This sucked. I was so drunk I didn't understand what had happened (even though I was running solid initially). It didn't crush me, but at the time i was like "damn; i need another drink" Sure enough: I got wasted after that and walked home. Drinking can be a problem, but it's the first time i get like that during this challenge. Not bad for the kind of shit i should be negative about.

When I got home I grabbed a sharpie and wrote "this will ALL go away tomorrow :-(" in big black letters right on my left arm. I woke up this morning and thought: it's gone, i'm alive, what's next? I felt great emotionally as I was driving to work (but slightly hung over).

Day 14


Tonight. Hole in the wall time! Talked to the bartender and there's karaoke tomorrow night (as well as ladies night). Wait for THAT field report!

Conclusion

Not sure yet, but I feel a lot better about a lot of things. Also, this is clearly a ritual and I'm enjoying myself.
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#5
stateisking

stateisking

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Welcome to ground zero.

I don't know what to say, really. I finished the 21-day challenge. I didn't miss a single day of going out. I'm proud of myself.

But really, what did I learn?

Most approaches truly DO become a blur. I learned to own interactions, introduce my own threads, and because I for the past two weeks I've been singing karaoke three times a week, my voice is RIDICULOUS. I can modulate it like crazy to fit the environment.

I had a huge epiphany a few days ago. It came back to Tim's delusional belief system that can get you oh so far. I've become amazing at "chatting up dudes," which helps tremendously when talking to groups. Last saturday, I talked to some guy long enough that he wanted to introduce me to his sister (she's 28). He pointed her out and this girl was at least an HB8.

For some reason, even though she looked at me and I'd been qualified by her older brother, I simply couldn't do it. I went home after a few approaches and began to think: what if every girl I met already liked me or was into me? How would I act then?

I panicked at this thought. It made me uneasy that even if this girl WAS into me, I couldn't just begin closing her. I thought about it, and I developed a huge paradigm shift.

WHAT IF EVERY GIRL I SAW WAS ALREADY INTO ME AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS CLOSE HER?

What if I could adopt this mentality? It would mean that I simply wouldn't need to game anymore. I could just get in there and start closing. I looked at my behavior with girls I'd already close and even old girlfriends of mine. What if I could act like that all the time? Well, enough wondering. I started actually doing it.

As I walked around Target, the mall, etc... I would look at every single girl (even old hags) as already being into me. Now, I'm not THAT delusional. I did have a caveat for myself:

"These girls are all attracted to me. But are they attracted to J? Nah...well, at least not yet. But they're attracted to the CONCEPT of J. These girls already want me and they don't even know it."

From then on, anything a girl did (laugh loudly with her friends, walk close by to me, do ANYTHING really) became an IOI. If the girl sipped on her drink, it was just so she could reflect light and hit me in the eye or something so that I would look at her. It became insane after a while. In a lot of ways, it was totally weird.

But at the same time, it changed my mindset. I no longer had to 'GAME' any of these girls. They were already into me. Like Tim would say, I ASSUMED ATTRACTION and just went for it. I treated every girl like she was already my girlfriend and she was out at a bar with me. When I did this, I was able to truly let go and let myself shine.

The thing is, a lot of girls would walk away. But because I had this mindset, it was no different to when my girlfriend (a few months back) would walk away to get a glass of water as I sat there watching a movie. This way, I became completely unreactive to "rejection." As far as I was concerned, "It's always on."

I've been a huge reader of this stuff, and now that I'm finally 21, I can go out and apply it. The field truly is king, and I am now moving from going out seven days a week for three weeks to a more healthy 3-4 nights a week. This feels great. Wait for other field reports of mine and posts.

Oh and BTW, the reason why I'm posting this on the internet is to hold myself accountable. Yeah sure, I did this so that somebody would read it someday and draw inspiration. But most importantly, I did this for me.

I am truly excited to have finished this.

Cheers!

-J
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#6
bluestyle

bluestyle

Member

Join Date: 08/03/2008 | Posts: 58

WOW dude, that was really inspiring, i cannot wait to do my challenge, i think i'll do a 21 day one since i live 50km's out of the City and it gets expensive driving in every night.
__________________
LAYS: 2 shades

K Close Rejections : 4

Start of PU journey : Aug 5th 2008
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