THE FORUMS

January 20th, 2017
Making Stockholm dangerous: a journal
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#91
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Debrief from Wednesday 15 April. (LR: The story of the fatty, the fag, the friends and a guy called Kilo.)


It was a crazy night, I learned some things:
I learned that a girls sucking skills does not correlate with her looks.
That the bathroom is always a place you can pull to in the club.
I need to lower my standards.
It’s ALL in your head. Leading with certainty will get you far.


Friday 17 April
Night out with Mathias! and sasha~.

Top venue in town, we get there early. This place is usually really good on weekends, somehow it wasn’t tonight. Don’t know why but only one third of the club was open. They still charged full entrance, fucking bitches.

I get going right away, order two beers and start talking to two girls next to me. I’ve not said more then three sentences before Mathias and Sash join. Don’t join until it’s hooked! I move back, three on two is never going to work. Sash moves back too. I go back to Mathias after a while, when it’s properly hooked. But my vibe is completely off now and I kinda blow us out. Sorry about that mate.


Not much is happening, meaning no girls yet. Ok talk to some dudes instead. If there’s no girl, only one thing to do, jäger shots! After that, flaming samboka shots. Waters and some guy buys us a another beer each, awesome.



The place starts to fill up and I try to get some momentum up, but I never hit it. Short interactions everywhere.
Two girls walking by, claw one girl in.
Guy and girl dancing, go in to get girl.
Four girls partying, start cheering with all four.
And so on, good reactions blowouts about 40/60.

Get later in the night, try to dance a little, go outside. Stop approaching, get in an discussion with sasha about how guys and girls can’t be friends.
Like I said before in this thread.

I think he finally stopped lie to himself and realized my point.

Mathias is chatting some girl up, looks ok. We leave for burgers and debrief.



Debrief

I truly felt this throughout the night, I’m not worthy of the girls I’m talking to here. Like sure I can pretend and maybe manipulate them to like me, but I don’t see any point in that at all. I want things to be real.
Deep down I feel like we wouldn’t get along. It’s a value thing example from the night:

I was not in state on this one. I’m actually very, very rarely in state now a days.
Gorgeous brunette is dancing with her gorgeous friend in front of me. I really look at them, I’m not embarrassed by my feelings. Sasha gives me a little push, I go up and engage her with a warm smile and really direct. I put my arm around and say something like “you’re the cutest one here tonight, I had to meet you”. She lights up, starts talking and it’s “going really well”. She touches me and smiles a lot, her friend is not interfering either. But then I feel not worthy of her, she is too good for me, I eject with her holding her hand on my back.

I logically know what I should do, the same as always. Bubble play, make it sexual, lead her around and escalate. But if I don’t feel like I’m worthy of her those good, playful things don’t come out.


Can you see the problem?


When I feel that feeling for a girl again, I’m going to tell her exactly that, with lots of emotions behind it. Wonder what will happen.

 
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#92
Mathias!

Mathias!

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Kilo~ wrote:
I get going right away, order two beers and start talking to two girls next to be. I’ve not said more then three sentences before Mathias and Sash join. Don’t join until it’s hooked! I move back, three on two is never going to work. Sash moves back too. I go back to Mathias after a while, when it’s properly hooked. But my vibe is completely off now and I kinda blow us out. Sorry about that mate.

Dude, I saw you open. Then when I looked back I just saw you standing "behind" one of the girls ordrering in the bar where none of the girls could even see you, even less talk to you. I did not interpret that as "you being in set" at that time. Sorry bro!! Just tap me - or chode slap me - and I'll move over and we can split that thing. ;) Until then, I owe you one.

Fuck, that film is crazy btw!



Debrief

I truly felt this throughout the night, I’m not worthy of the girls I’m talking to here. Like sure I can pretend and maybe manipulate them to like me, but I don’t see any point in that at all. I want things to be real.
Deep down I feel like we wouldn’t get along. It’s a value thing example from the night:

I was not in state on this one. I’m actually very, very rarely in state now a days.

When I feel that feeling for a girl again, I’m going to tell her exactly that, with lots of emotions behind it. Wonder what will happen.

 
I think this is above my expertise to give you solid feedback on. Hope you get that instructor feedback on it, I'd be interested to hear a professional opinion. But I'll give you the best feedback I can think of anyway and let you sort out if it is useful or not.

Being honest is the shit, it is definatelly better than trying to hide your feelings. But don't use it as an excuse or a way to limit yourself either, you don't need that. Be concious about where that line is and go with your gut.

However, understand that this is also just in your head. And it will go away.

As I side note, I had super shitty confidence w women when I first got into this. Fuck, I could not open to save my life. I was totally in the grip of a hard ego not letting me do what I wanted. First two months after committing to this I did fucking affirmations during morning jog runs before work to kill my chode beliefs that I was not worthy to open a girl. This was before I even went into the field the first time with the intent to "game". Stay at it and it will go away. Progressive desensitazation, it will burn up.

Also, about rarely being in state - realize that you are starting to change on the inside. And it is probably affecting you subconciously. Like an uneasy feeling of not really feeling familiar to yourself on the inside. There might even be a time where you will feel more "vulnerable" or "fuzzy" about what is normal behavior for you or who you are. At least I had a period like this.

Realize that this is you starting to refactor your sense of identity and then rearranging what "behavior" will fit appropriately "ontop" of that modiified you. It will feel different. Realize that this is just what it is, no more no less, and It's ok. Just allow it to happen and keep your focus on taking consistent action and sticking to the process. If you feel this is what is happening I'd recommend doing Nathan's excecise, search for it. Awesome stuff.

Then, about the sense of self and what you deserver - for me Tolle, Alexander's landmark blog posts on ego/identity/self-esteem and reading Rand also helped a LOT to get over this, and to eventually kill it (I think I have now actually, fingers crossed). Hanging w guys like Ingvar and Beamer a weekend also helps. ;)

Lastly...

You deserve it! It does not matter where you are, who is with you or whatever. You deserve to allow yourself to use your best self and go for the best, and to get it. You are a man, it's inside you. So is any other guy who tries to do the same thing. Somebody has to fuck these girls, and it might as well be you. Only you can give yourself permission. And you have that permission.
__________________
I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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#93
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Thanks for a really, really solid answer. I'm listening to all advice I can get.


I see this as a success barrier, a glass wall. Also it's a reality thing, it's outside my reality right now, but sticking to it will help and just keep approaching the hotties. I'm actually going to do the opposite also to get me some reference points that I can actually pull chicks.



About the state thing. I think as I've grown I don't feel a buzz after opening some sets and singing some song.
Before this was both really fun, exiting and out of my comfort zone. Now it's normal behavior, I need to do more extreme stuff.
Hmm take lemon in eye move, enhance it to: lemon in her eyes! Yes, self-amusing to the max! teeth
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#94
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614





Saturday 18 April


I’m chilling at home with my roommate. Going to bed early, then I get a booty call from the girl from Wednesday.
I grab two beers, head over to hers and give her some pleasure.

It was nice training because the first time she was drunken fun club chick, now it was a totally different vibe. I talked about my day and bullshit, being completely honest / genuine. I escalated from the time meeting her and closed at her place.


Wednesday 22 April

Bar, down some beers and talk shit with friends.


Thursday 23 April

Watching a football game at a bar with my mates, cheering and drinking beer. Our team won 0-1. They’re leading the series now :D
Continue to new bar, more mates join and more beer, good times!


Friday 24 April

Student leaving party with ma bro Zebra and a bunch of other good friends.

Awesome time, lots of momentum this night and bouncing around between girls. It’s fun but don’t create that closer environment or mindset, it’s just fun and adventure. I think I almost spoke to every hot girl in there.

The place wasn’t packed so the dancefloor was almost empty at times.

Then after some bouncing around I was caught completely off guard when nearly everybody I’d spoken to left around 1.30 am, wtf!
I had the 10 till 2 in mind, don’t go for the close yet, have fun, do it later.

Me and Zebra bounce for burgers and debrief, good times!


All I do now is go direct, blame the girl for being to hot for me not to approach her (S & A mindset, blaming her for the lovestruckness) claw her, qualify and go into bubble play, here I escalate for the makeout.
I screen for the SNL “what are you up to later”. Sometimes it goes ok, sometimes it doesn’t. And it’s all on based me, I know exactly what I did or didn’t do. Basically when I go for it, I get it. Other times I out too early.


Saturday 25 April

Started at home and have an awesome pre-party, but only with dudes.
Later go to a bar and meet up with Job, nothing happens but a very good conversation with him about where I’m at right now.
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#95
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

OMFG!11!%
Workshop timezzzzzzz!!!




Monday 27 April

Stressed and tired I meet up with the guys at the hotel. Said hello to the other attendees, chit chat a bit and Papa gets going.

I won’t do a run down of exactly all that was covered but things like proximity, winging plus a bunch of basic stuff was talked about.
The proximity/posture was all covered on my bootcamp so it wasn’t new to me, but it was a good reminder.

Then he started to talk about our mission, approaching in the day. This is a new thing for me, I’ve not approached in the day ever.

Papa explains that when you do it in the day you’re doing something that no one else is doing. No competition. I like this, it’s more outside my comfort zone then in a nightclub for sure.

We’re split up in little teams and sent out, minimum three approaches. I’m in the dreamteam with my new buddy R and Mathias!

How did it go?
First day FR ever:

First girl, she’s heading up an escalator, I’m behind her. I tap her on the shoulder and ask her about a store inside the mall, I’m buying a present for my friend. We get off and continue talking, standing still. Bla bla bla.
The conversation lasts a couple minutes. Then I say thanks and move along. Next!


Inside the mall, it’s closed down and empty. Two young girls sitting down I ask something about the stores being all closed then move along. Next!


Head in to McDonalds, almost empty, spot cute girl and her friend by a table. I walk past them, then come back and sit down at their table, across from them. As I’m opening my mouth the friend stands up and leaves.
I say that I’m just waiting for my friend who is late, tell her about the closed down stores and that I was going to buy a present for my buddy.
The vibe is very light and funny, I joke around and she giggles. Her phone rings, I get up and order a water, come back to her talk some more, ask her a little about herself. She’s a twenty year old economics student that plays handball(a big female sport in Sweden), she’s blond and very physically fit ;) .
After about fifteen minutes we get up and walk outside together. When we get outside I thinking now it’s time to go for the number, but just am thinking that her friend shouts her name, and she runs off. Next!


Walking down the street, I catch up with Mathias. We go outside a video store, a girl comes out. I ask her about a romantic comedy that will suit us two. Joke around with her, she’s on her way the whole time but stays along as I keep talking. Finally I let her go, no close and I didn’t show any intent towards her. It was all very funny and self amusing. Next!


Inside a coffee shop/cinema I start talking to two girls and one guy in front of me, asking if a vanilla frappochino is gay to order, joke about this. They don’t turn to face me, talk shit with Mathias and R instead. We tell R to approach some cute girls sitting by a table. He hesitates, not acceptable when you’re on the dream team. We push him, he approaches and has proven he got some balls.
We get our order, Mathias goes to one girl and we head to the girls R previously talked to. I grab a chair and sit down next to them. Now this was really good for me, the whole time I just expressed myself, didn’t ask anything really only talked in statements. The girls where like a brick wall.
But I just kept on having fun and expressing myself, they eased up and began to talk, smile and giggle. I kept on pushing then it was time for us to head back to workshop so I said my goodbyes.

Gave R a few pointers and some props on the way back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That concludes my real first day in field and I feel great. I’m really glad that I did this and will continue doing it further more, it’s really fun. Right now is also a good time to start with summer coming and a lot of beautiful girls being outside, waiting to be taken.


I need to stop viewing myself as a newbie, not being able to do stuff, I've worked hard and what I've achieved has all been well deserved.
I need to stop pretending to be a chode.


Expression not impression is the way to go and as always whatever you feel, she feels. 
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#96
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Thursday 30 April – Valborg, Walpurgis (holyday in Sweden)

Meet zebra and scale at a crowded bar. Buy tons of beer and get going. Three girls sit down next to us, I’m on the far end and can’t engage them properly. Zebra hits me with a quote of the night: All drinking and no approaching make Kilo a dull player.

Zebra pulls me out of my chair and approaches four seated girls, I join and we chat with them for a good 15-20 minutes. No close in sight.


We bounce to a student party, I’m thinking about going home, but I tag along. On the way there Zebra drop the second quote of the night, he tells me I’m the ghost wing. When I wing, I move in on my own and swoop the other girl away without my mate even knowing it, I don’t address him in anyway. Smoothness.

At the party I engage three seated girls and one guy, it’s obvious he’s gaming them, he tries to tool me I just ignore him. After some time he gets what’s going on we switch seats so we are closer to the girls, insta wing instead! It “goes good” but again no close.

Some dancing, I approach some more girls, don’t go anywhere I’m really not feeling it tonight and head on home.


Debrief
I got a bad start on the night and didn’t get any state or momentum up. I wasn’t feeling it at all. I did show up and pushed a little, still a bad night.

Always nice to meet Zebra and scale.
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#97
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Friday 1 May – Guitar Hero

I’m starting to see a pattern in my nights, after bad ones come good ones. Just keeping going out is key. Consistency always wins.

The Field Report
Meet Mathias! at a lounge bar thing. Damn the girls here are high class. I’m intimidated but I like it. I’ll be hanging out here more. Some of Mathias friends join and we bounce to a top club in town.


Get in right away. I talk a little with the cashier chick, then approach the first girl I see two steps in the club.
Talk some indirect bullshit for a few seconds then her friend drag her away. Next!


Go inside, leave jacket. Then approach two girls with same indirect shit. They start talking to me but after a while one of them says:
Girl: “Are you saying that to all girls tonight?”
Kilo: “What no, I just got here”
Girl: “You said the exact same thing to my friend over there” *points at first girl*
I try to save it but can’t keep myself from laughing and the girls go away to their friends. Haha. Next!


Get a water, joke around with the bartender. Go up to Mathias. As we’re chilling a cutie blond (West side blondie) walks by, I claw her in. I don’t remember what I say but we start talking, Mathias is showing some super tight wingman skillz and engages the friend instantly, before I even have time to see her.
I’m super relaxed, letting the vibe flow and its lots of fun, we laugh a lot. I get her to tell me some crazy story and then I do the same. I tell her about my day and just express myself. I’m not touching that much, half hugs every minute or so, holding her hand etc. While doing this I drop some S & A in the mix, works like a charm.
After a while I try to lead her to the dancefloor, time for some escalation. She says no, I pick her up and carry her towards the dancefloor. She says ok and I let her down, lead her by the hand. We grind a little, I escalate but she’s looking for her friend. I can’t hold her and she walks back. I follow after some seconds.
After some minutes of more talking Mathias and I let them go to the dance floor. It’s cool, we’ll find them later.

I chill some more, get an energy drink, go outside for some air. Outside Westsideblondie walks past me, I say her name in a BR tone and stop her with my voice. Engage her and the friend in some small talk. They move along, I go inside shortly after.


Again I’m super relaxed with Mathias, he walks up to two really fine girls by the bar. I wait two seconds, ok he’s hooked. I do the ghost wing and we’ve turned the girls facing away from each other within seconds.
I mimic my girls (Hot Brunette chick) body language and bust on her for that. I call her, her friends bodyguard. We play with this roleplay some time, I claw her and spit some S & A lines. I’m super relaxed and unreactive, the eye contact gets deeper. We buy drinks at the bar, the bartender forgets to ask me for money and I get mine for free, yay! Her friends come up, one is introduced to me as her girlfriend and they kiss, I’ve heard this before and am not faced. They all go to the dance floor. I’m holding my drink so I don’t follow, I can’t dance and hold her close with one hand.


I regroup with Mathias and his friend, chill deluxe, I teach him some thai boxing, all super fun! I miss that shit a lot. Some more joking around, and I decide to hit up the dancefloor. I only see HotBrunettechicks friend. Walk up and start grinding with her, ask her where my girl is, she doesn’t know. I say to her “If I don’t find her, I’m taking you instead.” We grind some more then I leave her.
Mathias tells me West side blondie is sitting by the door at some couches. I go find her, she’s on the phone, I sit down next to her and mimic her, take out my phone as well. She laughs. Some dude is gaming up the friend but has no game. He ejects.
They both want to go to another club, I seed the pull, I want to go eat instead then afterparty times! She doesn’t comply I take her number and they drift off in the night. Next!


Again with Matte and his friend, awesome guy btw. We’re joking around, I spot HotBrunettechick and her friend by the bar, I don’t walk up. I want to claw her in as she’s walking past. They move closer to us, I don’t walk up, I’m faced away from them when I feel a slap on my as, it’s HotBrunettechick, I spank her back and go in with some hard escalation. I do something new, I lift one of her legs up while she has her arms around my neck, playing her guitar hero style!

While we’re loving each other her girlfriend walks up



Again I’m not faced because I know that all girls are bi sexual. I tell her this fact. She goes to get her jacket, we do too. By the wardrobe I engage her again, escalate and kissing but no hardcore makeout, she keeps telling me she’s a lesbian, I keep telling her that all girls are bi. Kiss some more, try for the pull no go, take her number and she’s off.


We also leave, talk some shit, get some burgers and call it a night. I text both girls pushing for a after party. Both answer the first text, but not the second.


Debrief
This night was focused on being able to chill, but still take action. I’m really pleased with myself that I could be relaxed in this top caliber venue, last time (Friday 17 April, scroll up for the FR) I didn’t enjoy it here.

I should’ve wallslamed HotBrunettechick and made out with her hardcore. Can always push things more but anyway a good night lots of fun. 
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#98
Job

Job

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/11/2008 | Posts: 130

Oh my! Kilo keepin' it real! Awesome dude!


/J
__________________
Job
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#99
Kilo~

Kilo~

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

Saturday 2 May

I feel like a match maker between wings, tonight I put ma boys Zebra and Mathias! together, awesome.

Meet up with Zebra and Mathias at a cool bar, share stories and have a blast. I’m enjoying myself fully. We bounce to a new club, get in for free, no line, on the list.


Inside zeb starts talking to two girls. I take a little lap, stop a hottie walking by.
Kilo: “You’re the cutest one here, I just had to meet you.”
She opens up, she tells me she’s here with a crew of fifteen people celebrating a guys birthday = No isolation, befriend some of her friends and send her on her way. Next!

We get a beer each and go outside for some chill time. I’m relaxing more, something doesn’t need to be happening all the time. We just joke around instead, mad fun, vibe is great.


Time flies, some dancing and dance floor approaches later me and Zebra are outside again, he starts talking to some guy. Their whole crew ends up at our table, three girls and five guys. Shoot the shit with them for a long time. Nothing is happening here, we bounce.


Kebabs of glory is had, Mathias does some long distant gaming on some hot chick, all really fun.


As I think we’re heading home Mathias get us in to another club, wtf happened haha oh well.

Inside I’m enjoying the music and the party vibe, do some dancing. Later as I’m chilling by the bar four hotties walk up to order, a dude approaches one of them, but the other three tries to drag her away. I can’t let this happen, so I grab one of the chicks and stop her from dragging.
Interact with her a short while, the original dude has dropped his girl and now she’s dragging away my girl. Need to help out your fellow man when you can.


Chill some more and zebra finds me, tell him that I feel like leaving. He starts talking to two girls in front of us, I wing. Mine is not that cute, we position ourselves good and it goes fine. After a couple minutes zeb leaves his girl. Shortly after I leave mine too.


Walk around some more, planning on leaving. Find Mathias just as he starts interacting with a girl. I get my camera out and try to get some infield video, but it turns out bad. Damn it’s hard to film undercover in the club.
It will be better next time.
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Mathias!

Mathias!

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Haha, yeah those where some really fun nights. I'm way behind on my journal but I'll catch up eventually.

Picking and playing the girl "guitar hero" style was fucking amazing man, trade mark stuff!!

An about those girls from gothenburg at the opera, my girl told me some good dirt on your "west side blondie" girl (on my request of course), that she recently got pulled and fucked by some random guy from stockholm back home before they came to visit. No question, they where down there open to fuck the right guy. And she friggin loved you man, think with a bit more proactive persistance and leading you could have pulled her. Anyway, that's what it looked like from my outside perspective at least. Great fun regardless!!
__________________
I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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