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October 25th, 2014
telling a girl you miss them?
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stocktonx3

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/26/2008 | Posts: 19

Just needed some quick advice....I just broke up with my ex recently and weve still hung out on occasion since then...We dont talk as much obviously because were not going out...I have been seeing other girls but my thoughts are always about my ex Do you think it would ruin everything(any chance of getting back with her) If I told her I missed her....I know the saying "anything you would normally say to a girl, say the opposite" because theyre just not wired the same as guys

what do you guys think? Were not together anyway is there anything to lose here? thanks for your advice
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#1
Dizaster

Dizaster

Member

Join Date: 06/06/2008 | Posts: 35

If you really want to tell her you miss her, you could do it a little bit differently than the way movies portray it, or the typical way of being like "my life is missing something without you" type thing..


You could just do something like, "I don't really think about our relationship that much anymore etc, but you know, I had this weird nightmare the other night, and couldn't get back to sleep.. So I got up to make a peice of toast and a hot chocolate before trying to go back to sleep... And while I was making the chocolate,,, just for no reason at all.. I thought of you.... I'm not sure if I was associating you with chocolate or having a nightmare or whatever.... But just as I thought of you then, I had this feeling.. Like just the type of feeling I had when we were first together and everything was awesome... It was a weird feeling that I havn't really had before, and it made me smile... And I went back to bed feeling kind of good,,, and it made me miss something about you, for some reason...
Anyway, then I woke up and it was business as usuall shrug it all off as if, that was it! Just one moment... Like Tyler says, "A break in the clouds".. You just revelealing this little moment you had the other night...
Then just be normal again.. let her think of that or figure it out.. If the seed wants to grow in her, then it can... If not, that's fine too, you don't lose anything....

I think something like that is a better way than kind of, having that "laying your feelings out there" type moment... You're running the risk of kind of coming across needy if you do it the wrong way...

That just 1 suggestion of a thousand though... :) and probably a pretty poor one... It's past my bed time,,, so to late for me to think of anything too clever.
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#2

stocktonx3

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/26/2008 | Posts: 19

well alot of the reasons we broke up is because of me and my jealousy and just being an AFC during the time we were going out...I know she still loves me and has feelings for me but what girl is going to be attracted to an AFC

see my problem is, all of the girls i dont like or have any attraction for are on me like a fly on shit...this is prob because theres no feeling involved and I possess all of the alpha qualities...Its when i start to like a girl and start a relationship where all my alpha qualities leave me

anyone have situations like that happen to them? I dont know how to find a middle ground my emotions overcome me it fuckin sucks
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#3
Dizaster

Dizaster

Member

Join Date: 06/06/2008 | Posts: 35

stocktonx3 Wrote:
well alot of the reasons we broke up is because of me and my jealousy and just being an AFC during the time we were going out...I know she still loves me and has feelings for me but what girl is going to be attracted to an AFC

see my problem is, all of the girls i dont like or have any attraction for are on me like a fly on shit...this is prob because theres no feeling involved and I possess all of the alpha qualities...Its when i start to like a girl and start a relationship where all my alpha qualities leave me

anyone have situations like that happen to them? I dont know how to find a middle ground my emotions overcome me it fuckin sucks


I kind of get stuck in that same position as well... I've heard a lot of advice, but when some of those attachment type feelings unwantingly come in, it can really mess up your game...
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#4

stocktonx3

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/26/2008 | Posts: 19

anymore advice on how i should handle this situation here? june 21st she and I are going to my ex bosses wedding together if she wasnt interested anymore she def would not want to be going to this i still think theres a chance here if i play my cards right so any help here would be greatly appreciated

i also think that when we get back from the wedding(were both gonna prob be wasted) i should not kiss her or have sex with her because this will show that she cant have me whenever she wants and I am a strong person for it (although that will prob be hard as fuck to deny) haha

let me know bros
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#5
JJJjjj

JJJjjj

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 427

Telling a person that you miss them isn't the issue. I tell my gf I miss her sometimes. When I went away for 3 weeks for example. I'm not "supplicating". The bigger isse is whether you actually miss your ex girlfriend, or whether you miss the emotional validation. You need to look at that closely. There was a reason you broke up with her in the first place, remember that.

DO NOT get back with her until you have established that it's actually her as a person that you miss, rather than the emotional crutch of having a gf always on call.

All the best man.

-J
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#6
Eazy-R

Eazy-R

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/11/2008 | Posts: 929

stocktonx3 Wrote:
anymore advice on how i should handle this situation here? june 21st she and I are going to my ex bosses wedding together if she wasnt interested anymore she def would not want to be going to this i still think theres a chance here if i play my cards right so any help here would be greatly appreciated

i also think that when we get back from the wedding(were both gonna prob be wasted) i should not kiss her or have sex with her because this will show that she cant have me whenever she wants and I am a strong person for it (although that will prob be hard as fuck to deny) haha

let me know bros


I'm in your position, bro. Here's goes:

I dated a girl for a while around the turn of this year, and the only game I knew was "GH1" stuff, etc. and deep inside I was still a chod-o, but this girl was crazy about me. Eventually, shit ended, but on an open "let's take a break note". This break went to hell after we both disregarded each other and moved on, it was obvious that it was over. I've had great success (read: discovered RSD :)) since then and it's changed my thinking a lot. I know if I go back to that relationship, it will probably last a long time. OK, enough about me, on to what I'm doing:

It's been about 3 months since I last talked to her, save for one occasion. I moved on as in 1) stopped letting my emotions get the best of me, 2) gamed a trillion other chicks, 3) stopped caring whether or not I had a future with this girl. This is a key ingredient... if you're worried about a future with her, you'll project neediness. Massive, nasty neediness.

Fuck, I had a massive paragraph typed to follow up that last one, and I fucking erased it on accident. Damn. Anyways, last thoughts on your situation: Don't worry about the not having sex with her thing. I think that's sort of a stipulation in getting back together, and that's how it will be if i hang out with E again, but if you don't want to go that route, don't leave the place with her. Create a logistical barrier and your penis should be safe. ;)

Haha but on the real my man, good luck. Hope all goes well. Keep me updated.
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#7

stocktonx3

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/26/2008 | Posts: 19

thanks for the reply that makes sense i definately miss her and not the convience of having her but i also feel that since we are not together, me telling her i miss her or i miss the good times weve had makes me look like a chump and less attractive dont you think?
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#8

DAMiEN

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/18/2007 | Posts: 1021

Why don’t you instead make HER tell you?

Get your shit together, show her what a cool mother-fucker you are and have her re-thinking the break-up was a bad idea.

Ultimately, she’ll be the one saying, “I miss you”.

But you can’t go back into without first having yourself fixed. It seems, from your posting, that you’re still a bit weak over her, etc. It’s ok to miss her and want her, but you must first fix yourself up and get your shit together before you (or her) even consider another chance at this relationship.

DAMiEN!
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#9

stocktonx3

Junior Member

Join Date: 04/26/2008 | Posts: 19

that makes so much sense Damien...make her miss everything by fixing myself sounds like a great idea.... so do you guys have any advice on how i should handle going to this wedding with her(its june 21st)? should i make it seem like shes just a friend and enjoy the night with her what about hooking up and sex? im still emotionally attached to her so i dont know if the whole hooking up and sex thing is a good idea

let me know what you think
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#10

DAMiEN

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/18/2007 | Posts: 1021

Sealdan Wrote:
I would advise against fixing yourself up and becoming self-fulfilled for the sole purpose of getting your ex back because then it's not really self-fulfillment you're working towards.


Thanks for clearing that up. Yes, it’s very important to heed this advice. I was assuming you wouldn’t be dick-head and do it wrongfully (as in, just to get her back). Never do this kind of shit for a woman, do it for yourself.

The best part of all this is: when you begin to ‘fix’ yourself, you’ll begin to discover and realize the things you really want. If you still feel the same for her at this point, then a second go at it might be worth it for you. Otherwise, move on.


stocktonx3 Wrote:
that makes so much sense Damien...make her miss everything by fixing myself sounds like a great idea.... so do you guys have any advice on how i should handle going to this wedding with her(its june 21st)? should i make it seem like shes just a friend and enjoy the night with her what about hooking up and sex? im still emotionally attached to her so i dont know if the whole hooking up and sex thing is a good idea

let me know what you think


Truth is, it’s a WEDDING! And she is a GIRL. She is going to get mushy, emotional and will probably envision herself getting married to YOU. This whole wedding shit always spikes women’s emotions and gets them to creating these mushy future scenarios of marriage.

Hell, she might even cry.

All you have to do it is play it cool. She’ll probably the one who gets emotional and tries to jump YOUR bones.

DAMiEN!
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