THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
In the way you do anything.. you do everything
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Manwhore

Manwhore

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Join Date: 11/08/2006 | Posts: 6925

Seems my ability to post has been resurrected as a certain number of threads have been deleted.

Just something I wanted to comment on; based on IMs, a current trend on here I've noticed, and the recent loss of Ciaran.

You guys gotta understand..

Pushing thru this stuff is the journey. Is the destination. As Tyler says "No one is above the process". The process is the deservedness. How do you get better..? You go out and do it. You experience life. See something difficult that would be uncomfortable? Relish it. It is you growing. It takes a level of life experience to elevate yourself into an area where you "get" this stuff.

Some guys want the magic pill so you don't have to go thru it, feel the pain, GROW, and become men.

Don't want to push yourself? How 'bout we cut off your foreskin at age 15. How 'bout we shove you out into the wilderness and make you kill a wild animal with your bare hands. How 'bout we require all men to join the military? Gawd I would love this. You trying to talk to me about how hard being social is? Geezez

That is the process. That is why you deserve women, why you deserve life, why you deserve the way people treat you and respond to you. Ya maybe you don't have to kill wild animals anymore. Maybe experiencing death or nature in its harshness is not the measure of adulthood anymore. But there still is a measure of who you are; in how you live your life.

Reason why you can't get yourself to do certain things socially, i.e. PU, will be the same reason you don't experience success in life. In the way you do anything.. you do everything.

You have to be able to, and have experienced the relative harshness of reality, accepted the personal responsibility of your life, figured out how to deal and make your mark on it, to come out the other side, having earned the respect of yourself, and therefore of those around you. Deal with the amogs, the social circle of friends, the bitch-shields, the attitudes, the logistics, the career, the boss, the debt, the higher education. Is this stuff going to grow you up? Make you tough and deserved of women? Hell yes.

Are you socially awkward, but otherwise sane? Good, RSD can help you deal with that. They will definitely help you deal with that. Give you a road map so you have a path and plan.

Want to get super fucking polished? Like.. bad ass. Attend a bootcamp.

Are you experiencing discomfort? Relative failure? GOOOOOD. That shit is awesome. The ability to push on in the face of hardship makes you who you are. Dealing with uncertainty with calmness, forthrightness, and pushing on with it is the measure of a dude.

I read about some guys going through despondent times, jaded over the community. WHY!

The community is not meant to fill that hole. It can lead/point you in the right direction. But if you're looking to gain/prove your self-worth by becoming better at getting reactions out of other people, out of women.. then holy shit you're fucked. Do you understand women look for this? Any time a woman can feel she is the measure of how a man feels about himself.. he is a goner.

If you're trying to use this "PU" to fill a huge fucking hole in your life, your head, your emotional being.. well you're fucked. Don’t ignore that stuff, attempt to use PU to fill it, and then blame PU for the frustration you feel. "Game" and success is a reflection of your overarching well-being. The community is supposed to make you realize your blindspots, so you can fix them. Those comments in Ciaran’s blog about the “end” of PU leading to nothingness and despair; ya it won’t fulfill your life.. but it doesn’t lead you to despair either. Pure egotistical nonsense. Nothing but you can lead you to despair and personal pain. Done.

You can’t take your baggage with you. It's why we tell you, you can't hold onto your hatred of women, self-hatred, low-self esteem, argumentative nature, etc., and experience success with women. Don’t ignore that stuff in lieu of PU. You’ll still be frustrated in the end. Those are all reflective of what is going on inside you. If you have not dealt with this all, then why do you think women or society will let you in? But don’t blame yourself, instead take action. And don’t subtly blame someone else for your lack of growth, or point negative attention at the other guy. Because then you’re stuck aren’t you. You’re resisting your reality and focusing your attention on that which does not matter. You are the process. Not them. You worry about you. They’ll worry about them. Also try not to project your feelings concerning something, onto the actions of someone else. Making assumptions is dangerous. Creates blindspots.

If you are not getting the results you need, accept it, do not resist it. Do not look elsewhere. Look inside.

You get back from people what you project outwards about yourself. Sure maybe a single interaction, a single “opening”, is a bit superficial.. but that’s why you’re not to be bothered by being "blown out". You can come back 5 minutes later and have a great time with the same girls or group of people.

Men deserve women because they've experienced self-doubt, experienced fear and uncertainty, pain, even anguish. And shoved through it. This is core confidence. Confidence in their ability to deal with a situation, whatever may arise, and to deal with it. This is natural game. The ability to naturally deal with situations, communicate your intent and purpose naturally, rather than having to resort to a routine, and get stuck if you do not have a predetermined stack.

How do you become a social bad ass? By developing faith and acceptance in yourself. How do you get these? By pursuing and achieving personal success in yourself/through yourself; and continuing to pursue it, not allowing stagnation or procrastination. This is core confidence.

Is learning routines bad? Hell no. You are developing the ability to deal with situations, and life in general. Routines is training yourself, is building the social experience to deal.

But say you don’t have routines down, or natural game, charisma, etc. Is that a reason to not put your personality on the line? Risk losing a false sense of identity? Because you fear it? What is fear but inexperience? You fear what you do not know. So therefore get out there and experience life. Fall down, get back up.

This is what a man is, it is the measure of a man, and how much he deserves in life. He takes, he does not get it handed to him on a forum.

I've seen all kinds of rationalizations for the kind of depth of experience some of us guys push ourselves through: "Oh he's a chauvinist, a bully, uncaring and unfeeling. Insensitive. He's an asshole."

No dude. We just don't let shit slow us down.

The top guys on here are not here to get laid or talk about getting laid. We get laid. End of story. It is not our purpose, our end-all. If it were we probably wouldn't be getting laid. Seriously.

Tim..? Full positive angelic nimbus? A hard ass. One of the most naturally leading dudes I've ever met. I thought it only existed in the military before I met boy wonder.

Tyler? A fucking rough dude. Someone I trust to take the hearts and minds of this community forward in the right direction.

Nathan? I don't have to talk about that guy.

This is what women look for. Seek.

These guys earned their success. Anything besides this is why women fundamentally have a problem with the "seduction" community. They hate the idea of a man being able to seduce a woman, without having earned that hard place to become a naturally seductive man.

Most women are already there. You might think they're batty, emotional, ditzy. You're not supposed to worry about that. Why are you looking to her for emotional stability? That comes from you.

She is supposed to be able to play in your playground. In the social context of you.

This is why RSD teaches inner game. It is why we teach you to become whole. And why we don't focus on routines. Because YOU are all YOU need. How could it be any other way? J Does this seem hard to you all of a sudden? That you can’t rely on someone else to bring you success? That’s only a thought, a fleeting assumption. The process is the destination, is the success, is the pride in yourself and the positive emotions. You are the prize to be won.
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#1
Suspect

Suspect

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 1237

"Go towards negative emotions"

That shit changed my life.

Pain avoidance was my unconscious modus operandi. That, above all, was what caused me the pain I tried so hard to evade. The day I realized this was the day I no longer needed the community. What is it about RSD? They know what it takes to make boys into men. They're filling the role that society no longer does. Nobody wants to see a bunch of 30 year old "men" still sucking from momma's teat. Why do we bother? Cold approaching women is the Manhattan of success. If you make it here, you can make it anywhere. Swallowing your pride, and doing it anyway. Feeling that sinking in the pit of your stomach, and doing it anyway. Having faith in the process, having faith in your actions, in success over failure, when all evidence points against it... being willing to walk away. Trusting yourself to survive with just the information you're armed with and your ability to figure it out as you go. This is what makes you a man.

How could a woman not respect that?
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#2
Remco~

Remco~

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Join Date: 05/12/2007 | Posts: 1489

Thanks for this man.
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#3
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

This needed to be said.
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#4
Leiv

Leiv

Member

Join Date: 04/25/2008 | Posts: 75

Intense stuff.

"What makes a man deserve to be called a man is him putting his personality on the line, time after time, thereby exposing himself to his demons until they lose their power over him, whereafter he is able to trust himself fully and let his personality shine into the world fearlessly."

Could it be understood like this?
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#5
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

What's happened to Kieran?????
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Hai!!!

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#6
Algeristo

Algeristo

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Join Date: 01/29/2007 | Posts: 546

This is a 5-star, must-Wiki, best of MW thread. :)

You can't find this kind of real talk about masculinity in any self-help books or anywhere. I guess there are so few men nowadays who have the internal fortitude to go through all those challenges and the suffering. I know I'm limiting myself severely to decrease my pain, and that's exactly what prevents me from becoming a man. That's why I'm in the community -- to overcome that.

Anyways, I found the article vary valuable, so much so that I took a couple of hours to translate the whole article to Finnish to drive the point even deeper into my mind. I'd also like to post my translation to the Finnish community boards if that's OK with you.

Kuz Wrote:
What's happened to Kieran?????


Let's not derail this thread to OT land and towards an inevitable closing. There are about 3 closed ones for him already. Scroll down the forum and visit his blog at http://zentransformation.blogspot.com/
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#7
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

Oh i see what happened, i just did a search.

Difficult not to mention Kieran, he is kinda the elephant in the room with regard to this thread. i'll drop my thoughts and be done:

i am a writer - a journalist. A very successful one. Last month i landed a new gig at a newspaper - this is a MASSiVE break for me. i worked my whole life to be in the position i am. i'm in my mid-20s and i haven't even completed 1% of what i set out as my life's purpose.

Part of this has to do with pushy parents who filled me with obnoxious ideas of achieving greatness. This has driven me since the age of 8. i'm academic and highly literate. i give a fuck about a LOT of political causes. i care pationately about the Palestinian cause. i'm read in Marx, Wittgenstein, Derrida, and more. i'm working on two books. i've done film making courses and i'm gathering funding to make a documentary which is very important to me.

This is just a sliver of creativity i've always had in me. These things have been my life purpose above and beyond women. Pick-up couldn't even come close to what i see as my "purpose".

But you know, before getting into "the game", i dealt with massive sexual frustration. i had a head fuck girl friend who'd look at me disgusted everytime i penetrated her. i'd see couples in the streets and be intensely jealous.

i love women, im sexual - i craved abundance in this - as a biological function. it something i needed to take care of - to at least get it out of the way so i could concentrate on the more important aspects of my life. More than that, i'm drawn to the seedy edges of life. The idea of fucking girls in piss soaked alleys is a total trip for me - i LOVE it.

However in getting here i've scratched a level of myself which was both unsettling and now incredibly empowering. if i didn't need to do it this way, then it wouldn't have mattered. i never came here to redeem myself. i didn't think i needed any soul searching. Anything i've done is simply a levereage to pull girls, simple as.

But here i am... now i'm getting good. i have my own philosophies to this game. i think what i do is fun. i'm focused back on the important things in my life - my journalism, my creativity etc. i know what i do in this game - the self-actualisation, the 7 days challenge - is a massively fun adventure. But i'm not looking for any purpose in it.

Deep down i'm a nihilst. i don't believe in a spiritual dimension to my life or my existence. if people indulge in that hippy-shit in this community, then it should only be as levearge. it helps me control my emotions, to learn not to take myself too seriously - and to, more than anything, cherish my brief period of consciousness in this world. And that's it.
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#8

Storm

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/05/2008 | Posts: 539

I'm pretty sure I created one of the threads you talked about, when you said
"I read about some guys going through despondent times, jaded over the community. WHY!"
and I must say this thread struck huge chords with me. When I entered pickup, I did it because my life did not feel complete, and I hoped that pickup would make it complete. I've also always tried to avoid pain.

great post, thanks man.
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#9
Intime

Intime

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/25/2006 | Posts: 153

no matter how many posts are written.

there will always be people who felt that they spent too much of their time and effort into PU'ING.

Even among the various guru's there are loads who feel they regret some part of their time in the community.


Every guy in this community is influenced by a various number of other people. Depending on what actions they take, they may or may not end up in a better place.



So yeah, there will always be people who walks one of the paths that isn't the best for them.

I think its ok that they about whatever they now believe in because it is just one extra opinion for other guys to consider.



we still have a culture of the better I am with women, the cooler I am. is this fucked up? who knows.
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#10

ranger101

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/09/2007 | Posts: 548

I was in the middle of writing a post on Authenticity, that I've been writing for a few days as I find more clarity from what I've been experiencing. And what Manwhore writes here is a massive, core chunk plus some more I need to apply.

Thanks Dude.

I realise this post sounds a bit confused, and its probably because I'm in a bit of a weird state right now.
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