January 17th, 2019
Mega-Post: Speaking from a place of COOLNESS
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Join Date: 10/09/2006 | Posts: 2613

Once you reach a certain point of self-development on this glistening journey of life, you will find yourself at a comforting little clearing in the forest where you internally feel fucking COOL and validated when you are by yourself.

Whether you are walking, shopping or going about your solo activities, you feel like MONEY. You KNOW IT. You feel mischievous, cool, relaxed, stellar, sexual, comfortable, devious and easygoing. You find yourself delighted in your own thoughts, and further reinforcing thoughts only serve to emphasize how you already feel, making you feel even better. If you have reached this point, then this thread is for you.

Your inner game is pretty solid, and now it’s time to take this a step farther and develop it into an unshakable identity. The hitch? This state of coolness is usually shaken up in the presence of other people.

You probably have noticed this:
You feel fucking amazing walking by yourself on a gorgeous day, looking at the trees and the vibrant colors; everything you think… quite honestly… amuses the shit out of you. But suddenly a cute girl you know walks out of a coffee shop and runs into you. You two have a 30 second conversation where you succeed in making her laugh, and perhaps even getting her number to hang out later, but after she leaves, you are left with a peculiar, unsatisfied and almost emasculated taste in your mouth, but you aren’t quite sure why. It feels like you are slightly reactive or needy, but in such a subtle way you can’t quite be SURE; It’s difficult to place.

I’m going to talk about taking that cool feeling when you’re by yourself, and extending it to include speaking from that same place when in the presence of other people.

This is a fun concept to work on because now you have a good FOUNDATION to work from. You’ve fucking got this far and all is well, you just need to pay attention. This part is SWEET because it actually is a test of creatively being in the NOW.

I will post a good, pertinent example at the end of this thread, and explain everything in each ‘step.’

As Tyler says…

The Self is Always Showing Through!"

Let’s pretend you are sitting by yourself in class, feeling groovy and cool… not paying attention (you bastard!). Suddenly a gorgeous girl who you’ve talked to before, but haven’t gotten to know yet, sits next to you. Suddenly, you feel a tension. Right NOW… there is a fork in the road. There are two ways you can go:

:. First is not paying attention to her at all, and acting as if you are still by yourself, before she sat down. Suddenly that coolness state resurfaces and a sly smile grows back across your face.

::. Second is you switch OUT of your natural coolness state and divert your attention to what she is saying, putting you in a sort of emotional limbo that definitely doesn’t quite feel like your solo-coolness state.

Well the first case is what you’re aiming for, but what about the more likely choice number 2?

If you have in fact cultivated an internal coolness that you are happy with when alone, then continue reading.

You will notice that before you speak from this second state choice mentioned, you will get a very subtle EMOTIONAL WARNING not to say it, or to say something differently which is more harmonious with your coolness core. This idea is the basis for this article.

This is (one facet) of the SPIDEY-SENSE that people so often talk about. It isn’t thinking or analyzing.. it’s a FEELING that comes to you. It’s a very very subtle feeling that says “hey.. You’re stepping out of your solo-coolness-guy state.. don’t say it.. don’t do it…….” You won’t actually think these words, but it’s more of a very subtle weird-feeling pang of vulnerability that washes over you. Time to choose!

This is where THE NOW comes in!
Often times at first you won’t even notice the warning, let alone be able to heed it. When you are in the moment, it doesn’t mean you lose your identity or anything stupid like that, it ALLOWS YOU TO NOTICE THESE VERY MINUTE STATE CHANGE WARNINGS! When you start listening to the now without all that mental noise and interference, you will develop a sensitivity to feeling that lets you know when you’re stepping outside of your natural solo-style coolness vibe or state into a needy or reactive state.

The easiest to recognize manifestation of this is the difference in feeling between before and after you run into the girl. Can you feel that difference? Can you feel how you might be able to, in time, maintain it?

You need to learn to be aware of this all the time so that your coolness SOLO identity will start to MERGE WITH your identity around people, allowing you to be cool ALL THE TIME. You do this by paying attention to the NOW and never straying from your coolness state.

To further expand on this feeling…
When you notice her sit down next to you or say something, you might start to get a growing sense or feeling that you want to say something funny or witty, or you might subconsciously move your body to face her to give her your attention. It’s very slight and subtle, but it WILL feel different than your cool guy state. This is the WARNING.
It feels somehow emasculated, EVER so slightly needy or reactive. It might feel like you’re trying to please her. Even if you don’t consciously THINK these things (hell, you might even deny that you’re doing them logically), it ultimately is all those feelings mixed into one constant uneasy, enfeebled feeling that washes over you.

As already mentioned, this is often so subtle that it’s quite easy to overlook it and just say FUCK IT, and say what was on your mind anyway. This is not desired because remember: the self ALWAYS shows through. Once you switch states, your INTERNAL SELF of neediness will show through and she will pick up on it. You must pay attention closely young grasshopper.

If you don’t heed the warning, and say the words anyway, you will probably notice that she will give a reaction that you weren’t really expecting, or she seems less interested than you had HOPED (key point: you shouldn’t be ‘hoping’ anything). She may just look at you and shrug or just not really pay attention at all. She may give a bland answer. Suddenly, you are REACTING to HER! You didn’t follow your own internal-gudiance warning. You changed your behavior in the first place (reacted to her) and thus set up a cycle loop of you reacting to her. If this loop continued, you’d feel a stronger ‘pang’ of neediness as a result of her coldness to your statement, and the prophecy would self-fulfill.
You will be left with a ‘blahness’ or self-neediness taste in your mouth.
The reason you are left with this feeling is because you chose to speak in a way that was INCONGRUENT with your natural coolness state. You compromised yourself in order to please her. Pay attention CLOSELY to the maintaining the coolness state and speaking ONLY from within it. If you can’t think of anything… talk with your body language how you really FEEL in that moment.

So what makes you want to compromise yourself and please her in the first place?

The neediness feeling that causes you to ORIGINALLY speak anyway, despite the warnings, is almost always caused by feeling that she will like you less because you are ‘IGNORING’ HER or being MEAN for not giving her your FULL ATTENTION. You might have an uneasy feeling like if you keep doing what you’re doing and ignore her, she will move onto something else and you’ll have ‘lost your chance.’ You might feel that she will become annoyed, disinterested or even disheartened if you don’t respond in a ‘fun’ way back (although remember, if there is no warning then by all means say that fun response).

All of this is actually the exact opposite of what WILL happen.

THIS IS BECAUSE THE COOL GUY STATE ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON, and if it feels fucking cool to YOU, then IT IS NEVER WRONG. It knows what’s going on because that is YOU. That is the SELF. And when you are by yourself, that SELF is shining brightly, it’s only when people come around which throws a wrench in your spokes. This cool self is trying to tell you… don’t do it. Follow your own guidance like a religion, as yourself should be your best friend.

Whether that self is needy and reactive or cool, SHE WILL FEEL IT either way. If you choose the cool route, she will NOT lose interest no matterhow much your chode feelings tell you she will become disinterested or disheartened in you if you don’t dutifully respond to her. It’s impossible for a girl to lose attraction here because girls are biologically wired to be SUPER attracted to this UNREACTIVE, cool state (a trait of a masculine man). That is why girls love assholes, but were not in this to be assholes. You must move beyond that, because an assholes ‘coolness’ state doesn’t even hold a candle to your FUCKIN GLORIOUS NIMBUS state. It is hardly a comparison. That is why when she finds you, she will melt in your presence, as you are one unique mother fucker. :D

You are staying in your own state and not changing your behavior or feelings (you’re not ‘switching over’ to the other state as a result of her) based on what she says. She will notice that you are completely in the moment and will feel SAFE around you, because a MAN who has his priorities is one who can protect a girl and make her feel secure.

All of this is a CHOICE if you pay attention. This isn’t above your awareness or some abstract thing that takes a lot of practice to recognize. If you FEEL GOOD when you’re by yourself (you have most of your shit together), then all you have to do is pay attention to the state changes in situations which challenge your coolness attitude, and always HOLD ON to that cool feeling, don’t let it go. Always look at what people are saying THROUGH that feeling, let it engulf you. Don’t step outside of that no matter how much pressure you have to speak without feeling first out of fear. If you do this, strippers made of gold will fall from the sky.

Here is a purposely arbitrary personal example from today in class. I picked something meaningless to help demonstrate how this applies to EVERYTHING. The self is ALWAYS COMING THROUGH, not just when you’re in attraction, not just when you’re in rapport. It applies ALWAYS, even if you’re just asking her for your keys.

I was sitting in the front row when this little hot number I’ve known for a while, but haven’t gone past attraction, sat down next to me. We bantered a little at the beginning, and at the end of class she said “
I have to go to the bathroom so bad!
Had this happened in my more chodeliness of days, I might have said “
Yeah I do too!” because.. well.. I really DID have to piss like fuck, because I drank like 5 mountaindews.

In my reality today however, I was in my coolness state the entire class, and even though I did have to pee awfully bad myself, it would have brought up a warning feeling to say something like that above. So, congruent with my state, I searched my feelings said “
thanks for reminding me of how much I have to go..” and I gave her a devious raised eyebrow. This doesn’t seem like a big difference, but it adds up. These are high value SUB-COMMUNICATIONS!

That came from the SELF. It may on the surface also seem like a more jackass thing to say, but she instantly giggled, said “
I saw her state raise and attraction bump up ever so slightly.

Had I replied with “
yeah I gotta go bad too!” I guarantee she would have felt no emotional spike at all, and probably wouldn’t have even responded. This is because I would be stepping out of my natural feel-fucking-good I AM THE MAN reality to give value to her (in this case playful energy) when she didn’t deserve it. Her level of value given to me did not meet my threshold to give a more ‘nice’ or ‘energetic’ answer. Had she put more into her response to me, it would raise my level of awareness and it would accommodate for a more INVESTED answer from me.

Girls WILL pick up on this and if they notice that you don’t BREAK or YIELD for them, that you never deviate in your state to accommodate for their (usually meaningless) things they say, attraction WILL go through the roof. Of course this conversation would need to continue for some time for this to lead to the bedroom, but that is the principle. As a huge sidenote that you will have to figure out for yourself, this is where the whole process of naturally screening comes in.

Lines and Routines

Those lines and routines you might memorize from this board are simply lines thought up in the MOMENT (The NOW) by fucking suave sonsabitches like Manwhore or Tyler at some point in their life. Maybe when they were getting a blumpkin on the shitter, or LORDING an entire California venue, what is important is that it happened in the moment, and it can happen ANYWHERE at ANYTIME. You do NOT need a perfect line for everything you say, it simply needs to stem from that cool centered state.

When I’m in state and I come across certain situations, I may encounter it numerous times before something ‘witty’ pops into my head. I’ll make a mental note that I like it, and I’ll remember it for next time. That DOES NOT mean I have to use it every time I encounter that same situation to gain attraction, NOR does it mean I have to say something of that same witty caliber in every other situation. QUITE THE CONTRARY!

okay..” in certain situations, and girls will GIGGLE LIKE FUCK because they KNOW and FEEL based on their social calibration that you are speaking from your cool core without deviating from the spidey-sense of neediness. Suddenly their attraction for you goes right up, despite whatever contradictory feelings of yours try to tell you otherwise (you are listening to the warnings, right?).

Their attraction leads them to try and please you because they feel your completely centered coolness. When you ignore those contradictory feelings, and take on this seemingly ‘colder’ and more dominant presence around them, you will GAIN attraction. It may feel like you have ignored them so much, but this RAISES THEIR AWARENESS around you. Suddenly they will feel social TENSION around you because they want to say the ‘right’ things, and they will think more about what they’re saying before speaking. You become a sort of dominant figurehead. Suddenly they are in a reaction feedback loop to YOU. Fuckin’ hell ya! Now when they start to say things which raise less ‘warning alarms,’ THEN you can go and put more invested words into the interaction. NOW they will feel as though they have earned it, and the cycle repeats.

The best part of all this is now you can truly start to search yourself to find things which are CONGRUENT with this coolness state in new situations. This is a creative process.

This plateau of learning is totally fucking FUN because now that you have a coolness state established, and you know HOW TO STICK TO IT, you can start to develop its STRENGTH.
When you become aware, you will many a time find yourself in situations where you can search your ‘coolness’ feelings... really FEEL IT, really embrace that feeling, and simply let a response EMENATE out of you (or.. not responding at all is perfectly legit). On the other hand, you may take the other path and speak just to speak, always with much less powerful results, and often setting up the wrong kind of feedback loop from the start.

Very important: I am NOT talking about simply finding WITTY responses. I am talking about finding any and all responses to generic situations which resonate with your COOLNESS vibe right down to its CORE. You need to eventually be unshakable. Any response, whether it’s witty or not, IS IMPORTANT.
The self is always coming through!
I’m sure you’ve met a hot girl who said something TOTALLY BLAND, yet it sounded fucking AWESOME to you. This is it. She has a very strong sense of her own ‘coolness state,’ and she has become comfortable with speaking FROM it, letting responses emanate out of her and strictly following those warnings. That is how certain hot girls can be around you, they can be TALKING TO YOU, maybe even calling you cute, but at the same time they give off a very strong non-neediness vibe. They may also say “
yeah” and you will think “God DAMN that is like…. such a HOT response to that situation. How did she do that?

At first, you probably won’t have enough time or recognition to truly search your feelings for a good response which matches your coolness state.
The pressure of not having something to say will probably outweigh maintaining the cool state, and you’ll be forced to respond prematurely with something that’s more in between: not cool yet, but also not entirely needy. That is perfectly OKAY. In time you will start to NATURALLY find SOLID, UNREACTIVE things to say to ANY situation, completely regardless of whether they are witty or not.

HERE is the fucking delightful part because you will start to SURPRISE yourself. When you truly are in touch with your feelings and warning signs, the ease with which you will handle ‘shit tests’ (haha fuck that term, they won’t even apply to you anymore), AMOGS, bitchy girls and any other situation will totally BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND. You will stand amazed before your own AWESOME POWER. This will only further reinforce the NIMBUS, burning like a fucking fiery inferno of BRILLIANCE that grows
hotter and hotter with each passing moment…

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Join Date: 10/09/2006 | Posts: 2613

Dave;122038 wrote:

Mega Post indeed. Love it. shades This is spot-on. I've noticed this before but haven't been able to articulate it. Speaking from that comfortable core coolness is when everything and anything I could possibly say is -just right- because it's authentic to me. Not necessarily funny or spiking, just total congruence expressed.

That crazy fucker... "do you believe in luck? It doesn't look like you are closed..."

Speaking genuinely is very important, and connects with this next idea.

That bold portion that you said which I quoted brings up a very important point for anyone interested in this thread.

This is the core distinction between developing yourself using lines, and developing yourself at the core.

I learned this first hand a long time ago. When you are going through the process of learning you will almost always go through a phase of button pushing. That phase of knowing WHAT to say, and pulling it off, and simultaneously not possessing the core characteristics of one who genuinely earned the right to say those things. Therefore you say things which pump a girls state to validate your own lacking core.

Quite a while ago, I knew how to pump girls states through memorized 'cool' lines from Tyler or whoever else. Not even just 'lines' themselves, but I learned the method BEHIND the lines. I didn't even have to memorize things anymore, I just knew that if I teased, suddenly girls would get pumped up. I thought this was the answer.
When I used these lines, they would get girls pussies wet and right away they would be attracted and more than likely would end up in my bed. HOWEVER, after the fact they would start to test me and I would FAIL the 'tests' NOT because I didn't 'memorize' cool comebacks to the tests, BUT BECAUSE I still had a chode-centerd core, with a hardened shell of GAME. I had NOT practiced my ability to CHOOSE to speak from my COOLNESS core meaning that EVERY response in itself is reason enough not to fuck with me, in other words, meaning I'm genuine with a rock solid core center. When I would say a 'HOT' line, and then something totally chode-worthy, their red alarms would go off and then they would put the pressure on me in order to break down that false barrier.

Girls become disgusted at me after finding this out, and at some points they became so disgusted they would start HITTING ME as hard as they possibly could. I didn't even do anything! I just was totally fucking with them in the WRONG way, and royally screwing with them in a total sense of (blind-spot) self insecurity.
They were testing me to see why I wasn't responding in a MASCULINE way like it first appeared I should have. How could I possess certain oozing ALPHA characteristics while at the same time being a total fucking CHODE on other things?

It's funny in retrospect looking at all those girl's reactions during this period of my learning. It NOW makes complete sense to me. Girls would literally become VIOLENT and spit on me and do ridiculous things MINUTES after having sex or even the next day. I wouldn't even be doing anything that I (at the time) thought was bad. I thought I was 'gaming' them like I was supposed to.

Speak from your sexual, cool core, and you will automatically be genuine. Stick to this, and don't look to pump girls up with 'perfect lines' out of a fear of saying something non-witty or 'normal.' When you are a centered high-value mother fucker, even your "Ok" will ROCK the house, and make every little girlie shiver with anticipation.

Rock on :)

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Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/26/2006 | Posts: 1113

Dude, this post sent SO MANY lightbulbs off in my head, it all makes sense.

That little feeling you're talking about is like a little pressure feeling, or just a feeling of "resistance". Can't really describe it, but "warning feeling" is the perfect phrase, because it just doesn't feel comfortable or right.

If you don't speak from and develop this place of coolness all the time, it's true = using lines and cool things will piss the girls off EVEN MORE when she finds out you're really a chode, because you're an even BIGGER chode for not being yourself. I would be pissed off if a girl was pretending to love NBA to please me, and then we went to a game and she pointed to Kobe Bryant saying "who's that guy?".

Awesome man, loved all of it.
namrobmal Wrote:
dude everyone knows that to become a puah you just need to inject pure Jeffy Semen into your left testicle......
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

I read this early this morning, I mean damn. Very nice. There is always a little pressure, and how to key my attention into it in the now is very important.

I remember this one chick that I pulled from a bar last fall. She was hitting me on the back as hard as she could (owch!) as I was walking in front of her in a group of friends. This is because we'd kissed, but I'd continued gaming her and NOT isolating her so that she could feel comfortable going further with me. I had NO logistics worked out. In retrospect, I think two things 1. she was a psycho, but 2. more importantly in this conversation, she was probably feeling majorly fucked with, because my game wasn't calibrated for extraction at that point.

Girl brain: If you won't fuck me, I'm gonna beat it out of you, you fucker. There's something wrong with you.

That wrong was miscalibration, incongruence that glared. Or, lack of coolness.

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything
at the same time, the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn,
like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding
like spiders ac r o s s the stars.

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De Reet Sap Rammer aka De Reet Thalys met 1986 kpu

De Reet Sap Ram...

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Join Date: 01/04/2008 | Posts: 1267

This post sums up a great part of self-actualization. Beautiful.
THE BLOG of man:

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Respected Member

Join Date: 11/04/2007 | Posts: 778


Subtle work, very well done. Why hasn't this post been starred?

Let me tell you how I phrase it. I tell people to accept that they are a TEN.

Their "game" may be terrible, but it DOESN'T MATTER because they are a TEN. So when people are enjoying their coolness and some hot young thing comes upto them, they don't have to be fazed if they have no "game," because they are a TEN either way. Feeling that game doesn't matter helps to give your state the quality of "I don't give a shit," which makes it indomitable and imperturbable even when a dozen playboy models sit next to you. Ironically, it actually makes your "game" better, helps you speak from that place of coolness you're referring to.

A strategy to help shore up your "Coolness Core" is to always take a few seconds before answering any question or responding to any comment. Purposefully and intentionally take some time, even when you don't think you need it. This helps make it clear to you that you can answer on your own time and on your own terms. It creates a space in which to insure that you're acting from a solid state.


Warning:  This is f@#$ing Sparta.  Don't die a coward. RSD - Inner Circle:  TORONTO Chapter  - An RSD Social Club for Toronto and Area locals.  Social events, self-development, city to city outings, general mayhem.  Check us out at... Some recent RSDTIC events:
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Respected Member

Join Date: 01/09/2008 | Posts: 997

yeah dude, this feeling is like the Nirvana of RSD and Tolle teachings. You feel like the man, and you should be the center of everything. It's kind of narcisistic, but it makes you a much better person actually.
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds..."

-Bob Marley
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Senior Member

Join Date: 11/01/2007 | Posts: 126

Android, thanks for this awesome post. I'm just having trouble understanding the difference between when my "cool guy alarm" warns me not to say something, and when my "chode guy alarm" warns me to shut up and stay in my comfort zone. Jaffar says to purposely take some time to "think before you speak," but isn't that being stuck in your head?

Jaffar Wrote:

A strategy to help shore up your "Coolness Core" is to always take a few seconds before answering any question or responding to any comment. Purposefully and intentionally take some time, even when you don't think you need it. This helps make it clear to you that you can answer on your own time and on your own terms. It creates a space in which to insure that you're acting from a solid state.

When I pause to think of something, it's almost always bad. The coolest things I say flow naturally without me pausing and consciously thinking of them. For example, I was talking to a hot girl (amanda) I'd just met, and her friend asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I instantly replied, "Yes, Amanda!" They both cracked up, because it was awesome. If I'd paused to analyze the situation, I never would have come up with something that cool, and it wouldn't have sounded natural. So Would you say Jaffar is wrong, or am I not relating the two ideas properly? And how do I tell the difference between my subtle "cool guy alarm" and my "chode alarm?"
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/22/2007 | Posts: 326

He means pausing for effect to enjoy the silence and feel good - not pausing to "analyze for best response" or something.

Pause to show control over the situation and that you're calm - it's all in the situation. Truth be told, it really depends on the situation, but that's what he's referring to.
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Join Date: 11/04/2007 | Posts: 778


I understand where you're coming from , Seth, and I remember times when I would pause to obsess about something that was just casual. To actually think. That was "thinking" before I spoke. We shouldn't be doing this unless we're in philosophy class or in court.

The key is that you're not pausing to obsess, to THINK, you're pausing to collect yourself and enjoy your "Coolness Core." Your silence expresses your utter comfort with the situation, the social vacuum and the individual.

Many people rush to fill silences, to respond to questions, and in doing so lose their state and have their responses dictated by others. Intentionally pausing helps you learn to cure that. That said, you usually don't want to make the mistake of going in low energy and bringing the vibe down when you're in a high energy environment if you have something fun to say. Are you SURE it wouldn't be said better with a pause before it? Common sense prevails. After you're in state your rhythm evens itself out.

Try this on cute salespeople or waitresses. Walk up to them and say "Hi." Then just look at them with a slightly amused look for a few seconds "too long" before you SLOWLY ask them for whatever information you needed from them. You'll enjoy the difference in their reactions.

I'm not sure I can answer what the difference is between your "spidey sense" and your "chodely sense," though I think Android mentioned that it had to do with the difference between thinking and feeling. What I can say is that whatever warning you get, the response is to experience your Coolness before you speak. Speaking from the right place, it doesn't matter what you say.

If you're Rick James (bitch), it doesn't matter if your shoes are muddy.


Warning:  This is f@#$ing Sparta.  Don't die a coward. RSD - Inner Circle:  TORONTO Chapter  - An RSD Social Club for Toronto and Area locals.  Social events, self-development, city to city outings, general mayhem.  Check us out at... Some recent RSDTIC events:
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Respected Member

Join Date: 12/28/2007 | Posts: 937

great post

seriously now, right around when I got to the point about "gotta pee" my mind went ka-click. Is rare I read a post like that, well done
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