THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Why Naturals get girls and how to become a Natural?
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BishUK

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 254

The Natural. He is the top of the food chain. What every community guy aspires to be. A guy who gets girls without tricks and tactics and techniques. A guy who dominates his social environments without little or no effort. Actually, a guy who makes tons of so called errors but still gets the girl.


BUT…


There is something missing here…

Imagine if you read a sales page that said ‘How to get girls by being yourself?’. It doesn’t read like ‘126 ways to sneakily get into a girls pants’ but it is all you have to do. Be yourself.

That’s what a natural is. Himself. That’s why it is called ‘natural game’. Any other type of ‘game’ is founded upon the idea of you not being enough to get girls on your own so you need ‘tricks and techniques’ in order to win the girl. Its founded on scarcity thinking, which even if it led to you getting the girl would keep you on the edge of your seat the whole time worrying about if she threw IOI’s at some dude stood at the other end of the bar. Micromanaging life. Who wants to live like that?

These naturals that the community has on big pedestals are regular guys. They have the same insecurities that everyone else has. They are not really that different to you. In fact they are mostly regular guys. They are not super human. They don’t necessarily have bigger biceps, better looks or anything superficially superior.


So why do they seemingly get girls with such ease and regular guys don’t?

Do they? Like really? Some do for sure. Some operate in environments that allow them access to women. Some are just really cool guys so it makes sense.

Beware of the grass is always greener on the other side thinking. Maybe that guy thinks the way you pump buying temperature is amazing and he wishes he had 1000 lines and gimmicks to help him out? This whole mindset is born out of the same scarcity thinking that holds people in dead end towns and boring 9-5 jobs etc.

Of the guys that do, it doesn’t mean they are a nimbus of glory all the time. Often they are just that bit freer to express themselves than the average guy. This doesn’t mean they are talking machines or they are saying anything that impressive, it just means that they feel that bit more free to say what they really mean. Often they will suck too and maybe they won’t put too much into it. Some things that natural dude might do that you don’t might include:

Maybe someone does something that crosses a boundary and they are that little bit more willing to call them on it than most people.

Maybe they don’t have as much invested in an interaction with a girl because they already have other girls that would happily hook up with them (self fulfilling prophecies are a huh!).

Maybe they just buy into the whole women are princesses ideology. btw… this doesn’t mean they think all women are bitches, it just means that they don’t have a whole bunch of scarcity social programming running through their brains when they interact with a women.


Whatever...


The point is that they probably didn’t plan this out as a whole scheme to get a harem of girls, it just happened that way. If anything, often you could take away these girls and their whole sense of reality wouldn’t come crashing down around them. This in itself differentiates them from most people who have one special girl they fantasise about being with.


So if these are the character traits of a supposed natural, what can we learn from this?


Well the most important thing is freedom to express themselves. Self expression. Watch Bruce Lee in interviews as he talks about martial arts being about self expression. It is moving because it comes from the fabric of who he is. He’s not trying to consciously win you over. He is just expressing something he has dedicated the best part of his life too and it hits you on a level that forces you to recognize.

Learning to express yourself comes down to realising that it is mostly irrelevant what people think about you. People are fickle. Opinions change, fashions change, trends change yet any masterpiece is timeless. I remember seeing all the structures that the ancient Egyptians created in person and literally having my breath taken away. These structures are approx 3000 years old and still stand today. Compare that to the way the country has evolved now. Do you think anything they built in the last 20 years will be around in 3000 years time?

If you want to get a better grip on this, read both the major Ayn Rand books (The fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged) and take a bootcamp (or at least go out A LOT in between and really focus on the idea of being yourself when you interact with people). It’s the best investment in yourself you will ever make. I can actually imagine the day coming when rich depressed people would spend $10,000 a day just to hang out with guys like Tim and Ozzie. It would be the new self esteem therapy except it wouldn’t be a band aid fix, it would be a REAL miracle cure. I digress.


The point is you have to come to the realization that if you are to achieve anything in life that you are going to polarize people’s opinions. Some people will like you, some people will hate you, some people won’t really have an opinion and will move on with there lives. Some people will appreciate the value you offer to them and some people won’t. The killer thing is that nothing in reality changed because of it. You are still you. Your friends won’t love you any less whether you get girls or don’t get girls.

(SIDE NOTE - this may challenge some peoples perceptions of the natural order of things, and they may eventually screen you out or you may screen them out, but think about it – people drift apart and become tighter all the time, this is the natural order of things and isn’t anything special just because you have a new hobby of self development).


My favorite quote from anyone I’ve met since I started going out:


In the first 25 years of your life you care about what everyone thinks about you.


In the second 25 years of your life you stop caring about what people think about you.


In the final 25 years of your life the penny drops, no one ever was thinking about you.


This one realization made a huge improvement to both my game and my quality of life.


Shit Tests. Naturals fail these all the time and still hook up with girls. Guys get hung up on shit tests to much IMO…

There is only one real shit test. The rest is an illusion. Can anything a girl does to you knock you out of the zone (or out of state)? If so, then you failed the shit test.

Except this isn’t really a shit test. It is how life works. Whichever animal out lasts, out fights or out stares the other wins. Whoever has the most unbreakable sense of reality wins out. It is not even about winning . It’s just about being yourself regardless of what happens around you. This is all you need to do. Be yourself regardless of the external events around you.

The average shit test people stumble on are things like ‘are you hitting on me?’ and ‘are you gay’ etc. Why would someone with significant real life things going on and problems feel the need to respond to such BS?


The thing that stands out about the game is that it made me think more. It made me more analytical. This is great because it drove me to get involved with RSD, read tons of books on self development etc. However, it is a double edged sword. You end up micromanaging situations which really you shouldn’t worry about. Sometimes you feel the pull to use that killer line on a girl just to get her attention back. It can end up counter productive.


To this day it is my number one sticking point with life. How can I think less, get out or my head more. I have read I Am That a bunch of times, which is a must read though isn’t for anyone that wants a quick solution to life problems. I am putting off Eckhart Tolle. I originally saw it as more of a sellout version of I Am That but having read Ozzie give it all the props (knowing he rates I Am That too) I am going to have to suck it up and get more into the ‘Now’ :)


Some other important distinctions too are:


Understanding female psychology. When it is time to say ‘wanna fuck’ and when it is time to say ‘wanna come see the penguins and dolphins sing out of my bedroom window’.


Learning how to lead interactions through road blocks. How to befriend other guys, not just the ‘target’ . How to deal with friends that want to drag the girl away from you.


How to be ‘naturally’ dominant in social interactions. Evolving from being a try hard to being a ‘nimbus’ of pure energy and light


Learning what it means to be a man and evolving from the ‘tyrant boy’ into that self assured man


There are probably loads more you can find from all over the forum too.


So action plan time. What are the specifics I can do to progress towards these ideals?

Go out. A LOT. Meet lots of new people. If you live in a small town think about moving to a bigger city. If you are stuck in corporate chode hell plan your escape. You get one shot at this life. You can go out 3-5 times a week and meet people even if you work 50+ hours a week. It is easily possible if you prioritise your time for it. If soap operas and crap TV are too important to you then sure you won’t have time. It is easy to rationalise on this one but its also easy to create that habit of going out.


Read. Lots of books. The right books. Not romance novels about some guy serenading his women. Read things that will expand your reality. Find all the people who post here that you like, skim there archives and see what they are reading. Ask them. Don’t do this at the expense of socializing. Do it as an addition to it. Make a habit of ½ hour per day.


Positivity challenge. Become more positive in the way you do things. Whenever you feel like complaining about things stop yourself. Incorporate this with going out so you integrate the habit real time.


Go to the gym. Eat a balanced diet. Do things that are good for yourself because you identify with looking after your body. (note to self – get better at this!)


Travel. See new things all the time. Experience poverty. Experience the fine things in life. Experience thrilling rides. Ski, surf, bungee jump whatever. Shake up your reality to its core. Look at some of the crazy things Richard Branson did. Read his book ‘screw it, lets do it’. It’ll take you an hour and completely outlines his philosophies on things. That book alone could change your life.


Contribute. Help others. Mentor others and offer advice on places like this forum. Doing this re-enforces your own gains.


This stuff really isn’t that hard. It’s a lot of fun too. It just boils down to create a habit, be consistent over a 2 year or more stretch and sit back as the gains accumulate. If you want to know where to move towards, look at the profile of a guy who is getting girls, look at yourself. Spot the gaps and make it a 12 month project to improve those areas. Just go out and be aware in the back of your mind about these things.


The last thing… The bar really isn’t that high. This isn’t the NFL or playing soccer for Manchester united. Just go out and have fun and evolve towards what you want to be. Simple huh?



Bish
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#1
Bourne Perfection

Bourne Perfection

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Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 696

Wow, absolutely great post here Stuart.

The one thing I'm concerned with is that quote you like, about the three sets of 25 years of your life...

I want to live to be more than 75 ;) And I really mean this in a not-at-all-sarcastic way. People want to be doctors, astronauts, etc. I want to live to be really old. I'm only 19, and have wanted to live to over 100 since I was about 7. Ideally, 112, to live between three centuries, the 1900s, 2000s, into the 2100s.

It isn't really something in my hands if you think about it in terms of medicine and everything, BUT I've decided that the best thing I can really do for that goal is to make sure I just love living so much, build up my internal 'Will to live' per say. Cover every possibility.

Working out, eating right, and all... that's all about leading the best lifestyle you can. I love this, as RSD continuously shows me that what I'm doing right now isn't just about one aspect of my life, everything I want, everything I am, plays a part.

So thanks.
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#2
phantom-

phantom-

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/12/2007 | Posts: 177

hey the guy from my sig :D

very good stuff, Bish. I especially like the "bigger-picture"-approach.

Cool I ordered Branson's autobiography a few days ago. I got a lot value out of the 2 Rand-books - what further books could you recommend concerning "finding your path/living life on your terms"?
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phantom-

1) Offer Value
2) Put your real personality on the Line
3) Don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of you
4) Don't take ownership of other peoples reactions to you -Bish’s Cheatsheet
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#3
Dawn1

Dawn1

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Join Date: 01/09/2008 | Posts: 997

Great post. I was wondering a lot about this myself. This is the best answer i've gotten. Thanks a bunch.
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#4
FireFly

FireFly

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/18/2007 | Posts: 589

Stuart Wrote:
Travel. See new things all the time. Experience poverty. Experience the fine things in life. Experience thrilling rides. Ski, surf, bungee jump whatever. Shake up your reality to its core. Look at some of the crazy things Richard Branson did. Read his book ‘screw it, lets do it’. It’ll take you an hour and completely outlines his philosophies on things. That book alone could change your life.


Great book. Just bought it today. Small and cheap. Has more insight than most of these "change your life in xx days" handbooks that some self-help gurus are dishing out. And it goes down well with my natural personality. Thanks for the recommendation!

Screw It, Let's Do It: Lessons in Life
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#5
KnocKouT

KnocKouT

Member

Join Date: 11/29/2006 | Posts: 61

Great Post. Hits Home. Definately travel guys, I havent done enough of it but I lived in Denmark for 2 months and it was one of the best experiences of my life.
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#6
Kakánr1

Kakánr1

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Join Date: 01/08/2007 | Posts: 923

Holy fuck. I'm stupid; forgot to comment on the thread. Amazing thread dude..loved the thing about timeless. perfect.




Think it's having values, like Ayn Rand - can DIE for them - and living, loving life after them. Not ever once looking back, not ever once looking forward.. not doing anything for RESULTS; but ENJOYING whatever comes..not because it is THERE or there on the "scale", but just because it is in your life to experience - never miss to experience...Inspired by Tyler I have begun to look at the depth of things and I've found it can be pretty incredible..

Remember, everyone. Just because someone you meet isn't a "deep person", that doesn't mean SHIT. There's the same genetical depth, the same biological potential. just waiting to come out..

Trust your billions of years worth experience solving problems - actually real problems, never bullshit, evolution hasn't caught up with bullshit - imbedded in your instincts; realize even if you lived to be the healthiest 100 year old Leonardo Da Vinci dude, everything you ever learned in life was probably something you unlocked by NOT thinking. This is what I think.. And I think this is infinite intelligence. Trust this, communicate it - MAKE other people do this..value, value, value. shades

Feeling unshakeable joy is just doing what evolution wants you to do; having your OWN values, following them fully, living them EXPRESSING them fully - expression is beautiful.

Remember love, but remember love will only ever be mutual if expressed...Communicate what you think, yourself 100%, let it shine through your eyes and you might hit someone on a frequency that sparkles, that goes DEEP, that changes that persons life forever...and when you meet someone that does this to you you GOTTA hold on to that.

Ten minutes with a right person is more than a lifetime with all other people.
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#7
DonovanVC

DonovanVC

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/06/2008 | Posts: 310

Awesome post. What I want to know more about is...what does it mean to not take ownership of other people's reactions to you?

Does that mean being reaction less? Or just not let it affect you?

Can you give an example of this type of situation in a club or bar setting?

How about an at the work example?
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#8
Maverick1

Maverick1

Member

Join Date: 01/12/2008 | Posts: 91

damn, my brother is one of them naturals; actually hes my twin... faternal, but it still sucks
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#9
Dawn1

Dawn1

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/09/2008 | Posts: 997

My brother also happens to be a natural. His game isn't flawless though. I can see major holes in his game, but he mainly likes girl of lower social status so it isnt a problem for him.
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#10
Maverick1

Maverick1

Member

Join Date: 01/12/2008 | Posts: 91

same here, but it is crazy how he can effortlessly get any girl he wants... I am sure if he put his mind to it he could score big, his problem is he is too gente and gets into really deep relationships. I guess we can all learn something fromt hat
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About me: Maverick is my name and Magic is my game
"There is nothing on this green earth, that is stronger then the U.S. Army, because there is nothing on this green earth that is stronger then a U.S. Army soldier"
-U.S. ARMY
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