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December 10th, 2016
The Sad Truth About the Guys Who Get Hot Girls
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Zabka

Zabka

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/15/2007 | Posts: 190

A lot of you guys don’t give yourself enough credit…



There are certain guys who get hot girls. Community guys may call these guys naturals. In reality, maybe only 10% of these "naturals" are actually alpha, charismatic guys with real game. That was the biggest shocker for me. When I saw how dorky some of these guys are—who still get very hot girls—I was floored. I spent like a week just trying to reconcile it in my head. Then I just kind shrugged it off and went back to having fun with my life.

Don't get me wrong. None of these guys are blatant social retards: they abide by basic social norms and don't look weird. Even the guys who throw money at these girls aren't socially clueless. But to suggest most of these guys are personality dynamos does not correspond to anything I've witnessed.

Here is a rough breakdown of the guys pulling hotter girls:
1) 70% of guys are using a career, hobby, or personal connections.
2) 20% of guys use primarily their looks. Even then, it's a certain kind of look that conveys they are part of a certain social world. The look tends to be more Abercrombie & Fitch Model All-American Fun Guy--less Rico-Suave in a button-down shirt.
3) 10% of guys are doing it primarily on cold-approach game-type stuff.

The biggest common factor between all of them is that they are able to convey they are from the same social world as hot girls. This is a fairly nebulous concept that I'm still working with, but it's very real. . If you cannot convey it to hot girls, you will not pull them consistently. No, this is not the same thing as conveying you're part of the secret society. A lot of the guys who get very hot girls are not card-carrying members of the secret society. For example, I've seen these male models who are unbelievable dorks and have a newbie level of game, but who still get pull very hot models. It has very little to do with their looks. There are plenty of decent-looking guys who don't get laid. Rather, they belong to the "model world" and it helps them immensely.

Here's the kicker: Nowhere does it say anything about being interesting, intelligent, well-read, having a nice bachelor pad, being spiritually grounded, whatever. It's great to do these things for their own sake. But to be blunt, hot girls don't care about any of this stuff.

You probably care because you're an intelligent guy, who wants to improve himself and stay on top of events. I do too. Hot girls don't care because they're...hot girls, who want to laugh, gossip, dance, and hook up with fun guys. I wish there were more to it, but that's really about it. That may bother guys who are still looking for emotional security or intellectual validation from women.

Again, if you could see the average guy who is pulling hot girls, it's a big eye-opener. Take some bartender that basically runs a train on the hot waitresses at nightspots in your city. Here is a fairly accurate portrait of him: not well-read, maybe did a semester or two at community college, lives in a rundown apartment or crashes on friend's sofa, probably has a decent personality. If this guy were selling insurance, he would not get much ass. But he's a fairly socially adjusted bartender, so he does well. He's part of the same social world as many hot girls.

To reiterate, the average guy who gets hot girls is probably just an average dork. He typically made a few key lifestyle choices that you probably didn't make or had some dumb luck or both. Hidden behind the smoke and mirrors, that is pretty much the truth of the matter. Community guys can't accept this because they don't give themselves enough credit or they have propensity for self-flagelattion and histrionics: "I must self-actualize and do 1000 approaches before I pull hotties!!!" The most fundamental difference between a player and normal guy is the hobbies and lifestyles they had over the years. Yes, really.

Take a guy who had the following hobbies: played sports in highschool, waited tables at cool restaurant during the summer, and maybe joined a frat in college. A guy like this will probably be decent with women. If you put him in a socially plugged-in role, then he will probably get laid fairly regularly. On some level, most community guys realize this--or they should.

Once you combine your cold-approaches and theory, becoming part of the same social world as hotties is a fool-proof way to become good with women very quickly. So it baffles me when guys take the exact opposite route when picking their hobbies. For example, a guy might be like, "I want to be more well-rounded to attract more women...so I'm going to learn how to snowboard." Okay…it's good they're making an effort here, but there are two problems: (1) Girls don't care if you're well-rounded. Most guys who get hot girls are not well-rounded at all. (2) Snowboarding, while a great hobby, doesn't really put you around hot girls.

If you are going to get hobbies in order to make yourself more attractive to women, you should first ask, "How will this actually help me meet the girls I want to meet?"

Otherwise, you might end up with a great physique, being impeccably well-read, self-actualized, and sitting in your pimp bachelor pad whacking it to Asian Gangbang 9. Meanwhile, across town, a DJ who thought the 11th grade was "too tough" is plowing two sorority girls.

Just food for thought.
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Zabka
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Game = not being socially retarded + good lifestyle + having balls + dressing decent + sense of humor
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#1

TheMachine

Member

Join Date: 11/13/2007 | Posts: 67

Zabka Wrote:


Here is a rough breakdown of the guys pulling hotter girls:
1) 70% of guys are using a career, hobby, or personal connections.
2) 20% of guys use primarily their looks. Even then, it's a certain kind of look that conveys they are part of a certain social world. The look tends to be more Abercrombie & Fitch Model All-American Fun Guy--less Rico-Suave in a button-down shirt.
3) 10% of guys are doing it primarily on cold-approach game-type stuff.


But what about the droves of guys who have the same career, hobby, personal connections, or looks, as these dudes, yet DONT get laid? What's the distinction? In my mind, dudes who pull hot girls consistently have game, BY DEFINITION. Being able to pull from cold approach is just one kind of game.
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#2
Ro_Bert

Ro_Bert

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/06/2006 | Posts: 654

Wrong, wrong, wrong. I disagree with you completely. You're forgetting that most guys who get hot girls but are average are getting these girls because they're part of a club etc. But this is complete opposite of what you're trying to achieve, being in a club makes you approach the girl but it's not a cold approach anymore. You're not getting the girl for who you are yourself but what you are part of. He's with the football team so he's going to get laid just because he's part of the football team.

Being able to do cold approaches and succeed in them is totally different than what you're trying to project. It gives yourself confidence, you work to a total goal and if you are using that goal, probably well trained, educated and pretty rich, to get woman too then that's a good point but the main priority of being in "the game" was to be succesful overall not only for woman.

You are primarly focussing on getting a hot girl here but are forgetting the superior goal and that is self actualization. And being completely satisfied with yourself isn't coming if you decide to become bartender only for the women. Of course you have to combine these two in a normal, thoughtful way but being who you are entirely isn't only getting laid with girls.

If you want to get laid with girls consistently join a high-fashion club, frat or Lamborghini club and use that as "your game". While you read that you maybe questioned yourself what's wrong about that and it's only that YOU don't get the girl but the CLUB gets the girl and is therefore not what the community stands for.
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#3
STEELE

STEELE

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/05/2007 | Posts: 344

Zabka Wrote:
A lot of you guys don’t give yourself enough credit…




If you are going to get hobbies in order to make yourself more attractive to women, you should first ask, "How will this actually help me meet the girls I want to meet?"

Otherwise, you might end up with a great physique, being impeccably well-read, self-actualized, and sitting in your pimp bachelor pad whacking it to Asian Gangbang 9. Meanwhile, across town, a DJ who thought the 11th grade was "too tough" is plowing two sorority girls.

Just food for thought.



This is spot on. Having game helps but most of these naturals we see are simply in the right place at the right time. The place is "around hot girls" and the time is "the same hot girls are lonely/horny".

I have a friend who's terrible with women, but he was a cook at a chain restaurant and banged 3 of the waitresses. Why? Because he had game? No. He banged them because he was there. That's it. This guy was awkward, shy, quiet, and then he'd sometimes have temper explosions over stupid shit. I would say those qualities are fairly unattractive. Didn't matter.

He quit that job and didn't have sex for 2 years. He started working at another restaurant and banged 2 of the waitresses there. Right place right time.

Cold approaching works on this same principle but it's just more effort. You're trying to expose yourself to hot girls (literally!) so you do 1,000 cold approaches to increase your odds and improve your skillset. Meanwhile the guy working at Kinney shoes in the mall and lives with his parents is banging all the salesgirls he works with.


I think working at the mall would be a goldmine of poon. Sometimes I'll have to go to the mall at 11am on a tuesday to get something and there's HB's all over the frikkin place.
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#4
FoodBuddha~

FoodBuddha~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/11/2007 | Posts: 3978

He's not wrong. Neither is Bert - you are both so close to, but near-missing a basic Foundational point, which Tyler made. SOCIAL CIRCLE. All of your lays and socializing, going to clubs, joining clubs & groups, putting yourself in the world of hot girls... ALL of it goes under the same general heading: social circle development.

If your social circle consists of grannies, well, my friend, time to change groups. If you stay home and play Halo, your mom is your best friend, and you never go out; ...dude. You need to develop your social circle.

If you lay hot chicks but never see them again, and you are lonely because of this... you need to develop ways to draw them into the interesting world of YOU, in other words... SOCIAL CIRCLE.
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#5
Ozzie

Ozzie

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 2529

i feel you in the post. most of these questions i used to ask myself. what is a natural? is it real or made-up by geeks to justify their lack of success? if there are naturals where are they?

after training some of these so-called naturals and seeing what they are capable in terms of cold approaching i must say the myth start to demistify and i tend to have a more realistic approach of what naturals are.

one thing i have noticed training guys that have or claim to have laid over 500 girls etc., is that most of these lays, in their own words, happened thru social circle adquaintances not thru stone-cold cold approaching like we do-which is the toughest thing to do- and it is very hard for them to replicate these results outside their town, or their social circle which is the number 1 reason most of these guys take a bc- i have had porno producer/actors/catwalk models/rich guys who find themselves unable to duplicate their success with women in new towns or new environments. another thing also most of these guys drink and need alcohol to "get in state" so when i banned "alcohol-related" state in my bcs, their game goes down.

i must say that to find a pure bred natural that gets laid thru cold approaching ALL THE TIME, it is rare. many people might claim "i got this friend who gets laid all the time without game". believe me i heard this so many times i dont even pay attention anymore. most guys with no success with women tend to exagerate when they see some guy getting laid a couple of times a month. which is nothing compared to what a motivated player can do going out 4 nights a week with intent from back to back lays to threesomes and multiple lay months, long streaks of lays putting up big numbers etc., which are impressive, etc....

i dont want to put down naturals or what we call naturals because some of the stuff we teach today is "natural" as opposed to "gaming". we define it as natural for lack of a better term. i would call it "being yourself", "putting your personality on the line", "living your core values" or any title or concept from the blue print you might wanna call it.
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#6

TheRoyalFlush

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 188

Quote:
Here is a rough breakdown of the guys pulling hotter girls:
1) 70% of guys are using a career, hobby, or personal connections.
2) 20% of guys use primarily their looks. Even then, it's a certain kind of look that conveys they are part of a certain social world. The look tends to be more Abercrombie & Fitch Model All-American Fun Guy--less Rico-Suave in a button-down shirt.
3) 10% of guys are doing it primarily on cold-approach game-type stuff.



It's funny cus I was planning on writing a post about this.

I have a buddy, this dude is the definition of chode... is a delivery boy, short, gets constantly picked on by his friends, has a blue nose from a surgery he had, looks about 16, but somehow is ALWAYS with a girl. Those are just the exterior chode qualities. On the inside this dude has little integrity, constantly (and obviously) exaggerates the truth to make himself sound cool, and overall has a very low self esteem.

The community tells us "guys with game get laid". After 7 years of hanging out with this kid I can certainly tell you, he has NO game. Observing this has made me come to the conclusion that guys who get girls don't always have their lives in order, in fact most of the time they don't.

What does this kid have that makes girls like him?

Hes straight up delusional. If you heard the shit that comes out of his mouth you would literally crack up. He has unbelievable delusional confidence and guess what, it gets him laid.

I have other friends that are the same way, they have nothing to show for why girls are attracted to them. They don't have "integrity", or a "strong sense of self" or "goals" , they don't eat healthy, they don't lift weights, and they sure as hell don't meditate. But every single one of them has a highly delusional self image of themselves that is obviously not congruent to reality.

It's funny cus one of the big dogmas of the community is "if your not getting girls your an afc, or a chode" but I see allot of stand up positive guys in this community beating themselves up cus they think they are a chodes and they are the furthest thing from them.

I think this is one big thing that holds allot of guys back in the community and I'm surprised RSD hasn't started get rid of this silly dogma that if you don't get girls your somehow less of a man.
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#7

Rich~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2006 | Posts: 1576

Great post, spot on. You see this in university and in "traveller" venues here in London - in the latter you get some really quite dorky guys who've made friends with chicks in their hostels, done some touristy stuff together with them, then hooked up with them. Like you get SMOKING HOT latinas or swedish chicks with these weird-looking scruffy-hair dudes without much dominance or charisma. They're just very much in the same boat as the chicks, they're friendly and social, and the girls are looking to hook up, so it happens.
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#8

Essor

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2007 | Posts: 34

Ozzie Wrote:

i must say that to find a pure bred natural that gets laid thru cold approaching ALL THE TIME, it is rare.


There's this one guy I saw once.

Mickey Rourke.

But he has tons of game. Just that he developed it himself.
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#9
Koolaid

Koolaid

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/02/2007 | Posts: 2245

I would say those guys went for it and we didn't. You can be a mega ultra chode but if you take action you will get results.

I remember Ozzie saying he had terrible inner game and was a huge perfectionist yet still got results. So did Tyler, Jeffy etc. Action gets results and I think inner game is for actually enjoying your results and greasing the wheels.
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http://www.rsdnation.com/node/138865

Life changing self-esteem article by Tyler
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=12471

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http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=13223

Field report thread.
http://rsdnation.com/node/127554
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#10

TheMachine

Member

Join Date: 11/13/2007 | Posts: 67

Wrote:
This is a very interesting perspective. I do think that where you spend your time definately dictates your success.

The fact of the matter is that if you set up your life in a way that allows you to mingle with a lot of women and get to know them, as long as your not sabotaging yourself, your gonna get ass.

Now most naturals just have a knack for connecting with women. You may see them as dorks but if you look closer they are doing things that are effective.

The big thing that community minded guys don't get is how they are doing it in a way that seems so simple.

It seems simple because they are not overcomplicating it.

Here are the biggest factors:

1- Naturals have a lifestyle that allows them to interact with women naturally

2- Naturals are socially adjusted

3- Naturals know when to make a move, and seem to understand the wave-length a woman is on.

4- Naturals have a strong identity.

I don't agree with you that women don't appreciate a well rounded guy. I think that they appreciate a guy with a strong identity and if a guy is a snowboarding dude, who loves adrenaline rushes, and tells all kinds of snowboarding stories, that contributes to his strong identity.

I think the biggest problem with studying PU, and getting too into it, is that it prevents you from having a strong identity.

Why?

Because the whole premise is that you are not someone who is successful, and that you must do this and be that and learn this or that.

How can you have a solid identity that way?

That is why some focus on mostly inner game, and there is a movement towards that.

The issue with that is that you become so involved in being this perfect flawless person, and trying to overcome the natural things that tend to make you imperfect. You put so much stock in becoming this flawless person that there will always be room for others to point out that your not, or for a behavior to creep up that is not so perfect.

The fact is that being sure of yourself, accepting that you arn't perfect, and not taking everything so seriously is true inner game, and that is simplistic in form. Most inner game teachings are not so simplistic.

My conclusion to all of this is that to succeed one must put themselves in social situations and carry with them some very simple foundationally relevant things to keep in mind, things that lead to you being comfortable in your own skin, and strong in your identity. Things that leave room for imperfection.

Have fun, try to hang out with socially adjusted people, have a strong identity, and don't take yourself too seriously. Set up your life so that you have access to hot girls.

Naturals are called naturals because they make it look easy, and to them it is easy, because they just have to be who they are, and who they are is socially adjusted people who put themselves in favorable situations.

There are also AFC's that get lucky, but that's a totally different thing in my opinion.

The truth is though that there is no such thing as an AFC or a community guy or any of that stuff.

There are many many guys out there that have been getting a lot of ass before the community even came about. The stuff you learn here is not the be all end all. In reality things are just much simpler. That's not to take away from what you learn here, it's just to make you realize that you don't have to be a certain way to get women. You just don't.


Dude. Awesome post. It's spot on.
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