THE FORUMS
OK i had this EXACT PROBLEM.
Here you go!
1. BE HONEST WITH HER - if she is your LTR she has to understand it, work past it with her, she needs to be cooperative. She also needs to know that its NOT HER because a girl can easily feel disqualified by this (she believes you don't think shes hot or some other nonsense) so be open with her
2. At what frequency and how (technique) do you masturbate? If the answer to this question is too personal, fell free to PM me as there are answers here beyond "stop whacking it." There are technique changes to make. The general advice here is stop whacking it for 7 days straight and see how your erection does then.
3. Get some lube. I like Astroglide. Have her put it on you and give you a HJ with it. Then, the preferred position is her on top, you on your back - cowgirl style. Once you are nice and erect from the lubed HJ, have her get on you and insert you into herself. Key - she does the penetration. Additionally, do not be embarassed about having her do this, this is actually (from my personal experience) the best position for giving girls the fastest/more/most powerful orgasms.
So, thats your recipe. Stop spanking for 7 days, (after that maybe change your technique if you PM me about that), get lube, don't use the condom (ONLY because this is your LTR, AND make sure she is using some sort of birth control, pulling out does NOT count), and use the position/penetration as I described. After doing this a few times, your subconscious will start to align with it.
Oh, and btw, don't worry about losing the woody here or there. I still lose it from time to time. It's no big deal, and the girl won't even care. Just make her suck it/stroke it back up then go back in. :)
Set Women Free
-JD
Here you go!
1. BE HONEST WITH HER - if she is your LTR she has to understand it, work past it with her, she needs to be cooperative. She also needs to know that its NOT HER because a girl can easily feel disqualified by this (she believes you don't think shes hot or some other nonsense) so be open with her
2. At what frequency and how (technique) do you masturbate? If the answer to this question is too personal, fell free to PM me as there are answers here beyond "stop whacking it." There are technique changes to make. The general advice here is stop whacking it for 7 days straight and see how your erection does then.
3. Get some lube. I like Astroglide. Have her put it on you and give you a HJ with it. Then, the preferred position is her on top, you on your back - cowgirl style. Once you are nice and erect from the lubed HJ, have her get on you and insert you into herself. Key - she does the penetration. Additionally, do not be embarassed about having her do this, this is actually (from my personal experience) the best position for giving girls the fastest/more/most powerful orgasms.
So, thats your recipe. Stop spanking for 7 days, (after that maybe change your technique if you PM me about that), get lube, don't use the condom (ONLY because this is your LTR, AND make sure she is using some sort of birth control, pulling out does NOT count), and use the position/penetration as I described. After doing this a few times, your subconscious will start to align with it.
Oh, and btw, don't worry about losing the woody here or there. I still lose it from time to time. It's no big deal, and the girl won't even care. Just make her suck it/stroke it back up then go back in. :)
Set Women Free
-JD
__________________
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face--for ever.
Abower Wrote:
I don't want to hijack the thread, but what techniques Jack ?
I encountered this one when doing some independent study on sex therapy, a concept called "Traumatic Masturbation Syndrome"
Essentially it means you beat your penis up too hard whacking off -
-grip too tight
-stroking too hard/fast
-too much harmful friction
-rubbing yourself in a pronated position (meaning on your stomach in bed) either with your had or just friction between your body and the bed on your dick, like you are humping your mattress
This kind of behavior actually damages your penis, making it less sensitive. Being accustomed to this kind of abusive stimulation makes it harder to achieve consistent/lasting erections during more normal stimulation such as intercourse.
So, whenever I run into a guy who says he's having trouble in the sack with getting/maintaining an erection the first thing I screen for is a problem with masturbation technique. What happens is you have 1 or 2 bad experiences early on and it sets you up for a really bad negative feedback loop where you develop the mental kind of ED after suffering from a physical issue.
This is, of course, in addition to any issues that may arise from excessive frequency of masturbation, even below 'chronic' level. Just a new dimension to editing your masturbation techniques to change your performance in bed. The usual techniques for prolonging ejaculation and control still apply :)
-JD
__________________
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face--for ever.
Abower Wrote:
lol once again Jack, I am at your mercy. What ejaculation prolongation and control techniques ? I'll probably do a search, but your so helpful :p
It's no problem, lucky for me my current job is an internship that involves me sitting in random cubicles (whoever is out of the office that week) with no one knowing my exact location, my exact schedule, or exactly what I'm responsible for doing ;)
The techniques... they are the pretty normal ones for delaying climax. I thought everyone knew it - You masturbate yourself JUST to the 'point of no return' then you STOP. No stimulation, shut your eyes, think of your grandfather naked being assfucked by a horse. Hopefully that doesn't turn you on, if you aren't a sicko you won't blow.
Then go back and do it again. Do this as many times as you can stand it before you start to pop. Each time try to control your breathing and your abdominal contractions while you are assaulting it with your hand. Don't slow yourself down to cheat, you have to be really fighting it - and stop at the point of no return till you calm down. If you are a real freak like me, you will do this 4-5 times and not even let yourself orgasm, just let the erection die off and go back about your day.
Some people recommend rating your arousal on a scale of 1-10, and stopping at "9.9" till you get back down to about "7." Usually i find this to be a little too logical and shit, just do it till you feel good to start again. What you do is get used to what it feels like when you are about to pop, so instead of it being this 0.5 second moment where you are just like "OH SHIT!" and you are done, it gets to be a much more gradual and noticeable shift. This lets you control how close you are during sex by changing your rhythm.
I've got tons of tricks on how to wiggle the hips to stimulate her way more than you are stimulating yourself so you can keep 'thrusting' during your 'mini-cooldown' but those are for another day
Additionally, once your 'point of no return' becomes a wider, more noticeable range, you get to play around with it more and the act itself becomes extremely enjoyable, not just the 'road to orgasm.' This is my general Tantra principle - you are to enjoy the act of sex itself as more than a road to orgasm. The orgasm is not the goal, your sensation is the goal.
Oh, interestingly enough, after practicing this type of masturbation for a while I've found that my refactory period is next to nil. I've had a few nights where I blow my load and its still hard, and stays rock hard even after orgasm until i hit my 2nd or 3rd!!!
Set women free
-JD
__________________
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face--for ever.
Hey man your search no doubt bought up my recent problem-littered posts.... well heres all you need to know..... I got over it, it is all in your head, when your trying to relax your still in your head.... you're trying to relax rather than being relaxed....
do what JD said and dont spank it for a week, think about how hot your LTR is throughout the day, and how you like it when she does certain things, that turns me on when my current (hopefully LTR) isnt near by.... think about what you want to do to her!
All I can say it, it will go away, dont be ashamed it happens to ALOT of people....
- Silva
do what JD said and dont spank it for a week, think about how hot your LTR is throughout the day, and how you like it when she does certain things, that turns me on when my current (hopefully LTR) isnt near by.... think about what you want to do to her!
All I can say it, it will go away, dont be ashamed it happens to ALOT of people....
- Silva
Felt like bumping this puppy. A lot of the stuff you guys are saying is really hitting home, I masturbate with ALL of those harmful techniques lol! Definitely going to go on a 'no touch strike' and switch up the methods when I start up again. Oh and that whole "when you're thinking about becoming relaxed your still in your head" omg this is so true, I was sitting there the whole time repeating " relaxation over arousal. deep breaths. relaaaxxx. omg I hope it doesn't go limp. ok release all tension form body. relax. relax. "
Any more advice / success stories of INSPIRATION (how you guys got over this if you had the same problem) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys, I love you all lol
Any more advice / success stories of INSPIRATION (how you guys got over this if you had the same problem) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys, I love you all lol
__________________
“Supernova: The sudden explosion of a star, becoming extremely luminous in the process. At it’s maximum brightness, the exploded star may outshine an entire galaxy… when you hit Supernova everything in your life explodes & becomes so big that your life creates it’s own gravity, where great things are drawn to you.”
hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls :)
woOoOoOoO :D!!!! + CORE, FUCKING INTENT. all you need to fuck 10's. period.
enjoy ~women. see the best in everyone. if they act nervous, KNOW they're cooler and better than that shit.
hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls :)
woOoOoOoO :D!!!! + CORE, FUCKING INTENT. all you need to fuck 10's. period.
enjoy ~women. see the best in everyone. if they act nervous, KNOW they're cooler and better than that shit.
Wow. Awesome info, JD. Thank you, and my penis thanks you as well.
__________________
-chic
THERE IS NO CERTAINTY.
-TD
THERE IS NO CERTAINTY.
-TD
im 19 now. When i was 17 i was dating the hottest girl in my highschool. But i had the same problem, i was thinking why! she is so hot, why cant i stay hard and cum.
Later on, she actually told me, that when i would go soft after sex, she felt like it was a challenge, and she was insecure about it, but wanted to try harder to get me off from `now on`. lol. That was a different girl tho, cant be bold enough to say they are all the same.
For longevity, when i was a big pothead i used to get retarded baked, and watch porn. I would unconsciously do what JD said, i would prolong orgasm, but i did it, because i wanted to watch the WHOLE movie. I actually came without even masturbating, from visual arousal, it was pretty intense....
none of this was advice... just personal experiences i felt i needed to share ;-)... happy fucking mate.
Later on, she actually told me, that when i would go soft after sex, she felt like it was a challenge, and she was insecure about it, but wanted to try harder to get me off from `now on`. lol. That was a different girl tho, cant be bold enough to say they are all the same.
For longevity, when i was a big pothead i used to get retarded baked, and watch porn. I would unconsciously do what JD said, i would prolong orgasm, but i did it, because i wanted to watch the WHOLE movie. I actually came without even masturbating, from visual arousal, it was pretty intense....
none of this was advice... just personal experiences i felt i needed to share ;-)... happy fucking mate.
__________________
Why do i need a gun? The same reason i need a condom...its better to have it and not need it...then to need it and not have it.
Adding to JD's wisdom, I also suggest kegels to strengthen erections.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
__________________
What a man can say about the future is always merely speculative anticipation. Every action is a speculation, guided by a definite opinion concerning the uncertain conditions of the future.
~ Ludvig Von Mises.
What a man can say about the future is always merely speculative anticipation. Every action is a speculation, guided by a definite opinion concerning the uncertain conditions of the future.
~ Ludvig Von Mises.
Avikon Wrote:
For longevity, when i was a big pothead i used to get retarded baked, and watch porn. I would unconsciously do what JD said, i would prolong orgasm, but i did it, because i wanted to watch the WHOLE movie.
HAH! I do the exact same thing, pot and all!! I don't smoke anymore due to work, but hells yeah I like watching the whole movie, or even a few movies!
indeasd, thanks for posting that link to the wiki article on Kegels. Kegels are really helpful, I recommend them a lot and I still don't do them enough myself! When I remember to, I just sit at my desk in my office flexing the PC muscle, or in my car while I'm on the road... no one can notice you are doing it, it's like a secret sex workout you can do ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.
What i did:
1. At first, it will be hard for you to isolate the PC muscle. Next time you go to take a piss, start and stop the stream about 10 times. You are doing this with your PC muscle!
2. After you are done urinating THIS FIRST TIME, do 15 Kegel contractions. These are done by flexing this muscle, holding it for a 10 count, then releasing.
3. From this point on, do not start/stop during urinating, as you should be able to do the kegel contractions on your own.
4. You may feel like your anal sphincter is contracting when you do them, that's normal but with practice you should be able to isolate the PC musculature around your 'parts.' You don't want to be flexing JUST your anus!
5. Do these every morning, adding 1-2 "reps" each day till you work up to around 30. This should take about a week.
6. Once you have this isolated, you can do these pretty much anytime, anywhere!
7. People who do these for urinary problems (they can't control their piss) see improvements in 4-12 weeks, so this is the same window you should be looking at for your PC development
Remember, keep relaxed breathing during the exercises and don't tighten your ass muscle or your abs while you are doing them. You want to ISOLATE it.
-JD
__________________
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face--for ever.
try talking dirty and talk about what you're going to do with her and see if that works. I think the imagination is stronger than reality sometimes.
__________________
Mizu
Senior Member
Join Date: 08/28/2007 | Posts: 270
So like for the past 4 attempts at sex with my LTR my penis decides to go soft on me. Yes I used the search, very similar responses but nothing really helped me so far. After the first time I freaked out and thought there was something wrong with me, then I learned about being in the moment, relaxation techniques, etc. But none of that worked. So to fast forward to yesterday's horrid experience [which I'm hoping with your guys' help this will never happen again];
I'm not going to tell the whole tale as that would be paragraphs, the key points are that I WAS RELAXED, oh I lost it during a BJ too, but she was only sucking on my head and that's it.. she's like "hey it's going down" , I was pretty hard after she was giving me a HJ so I put a condom on later and we started having sex, I always seem to lose it right before penetration though, I pushed her panties aside with my hand and started moving my penis around her vagina entrance to find the love hole, as I did this I could feel myself going soft lol?
Questions (read only this part if you didn't read above, and ty for those who did)
1. So what's wrong with me? I'm totally comfortable with my LTR, and I was relaxed, I just don't get it. Maybe I took the situation too seriously... again..
2. Why don't my erections last long?! Like this morning I was in the shower and I started touching myself fantasizing, got hard, then let go continued my shower and the second I stopped touching myself it goes limp. slowly. Aren't erections supposed to LAST? And how can I get them and keep them without stimulation (is this possible) <--- key question guys please answer it
3. I'm an athletic guy, I'm only 17, and on a highschool sports team where we regularly do intense cardio and weight lifting. So then how come this is happening to me?
4. How come I feel numb to sexual desire? Like, I'll have this hb8.5-9 in front of me, panties soaking wet, hot breasts and yet I can't seem to feel anything in the moment for it.
5. Oh and sometimes when we're just sitting together on my couch or something playing a videogame or watching a movie I'll gently stroke up her soft thigh and then before you know it I have this massive erection, just by doing that, so I know I'm capable of it I just need to know the mind-set you guys have during sex to enable you to get hard for long periods of time.
I feel embarrassed when this happens with her, I guess care too much of what she thinks. I make excuses like I told her the cold rubber of the condom killed it, then she's like "ok let's not use a condom" fuck. now what if it goes down again wtf am I gonna say? " oh it's the temperature" -_-' So yeah just if you guys can please help me with anything you know, and I'd only like people to chime in if they'd HAD this problem before. THANKS! :D :D
hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls hot girls :)
woOoOoOoO :D!!!! + CORE, FUCKING INTENT. all you need to fuck 10's. period.
enjoy ~women. see the best in everyone. if they act nervous, KNOW they're cooler and better than that shit.