THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Communication in the Moment: Inherent Value
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Halffull

Halffull

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Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

Words are not words... they are just a flowing of value. Not an exchange, but a flow.

You do not judge people based on words, you are just feeling the inherent value that those words express. This comes from the core of the person, everyone can appreciate this inherent value. When you respond (and you respond with all your being, words are just a small part), you are acknowledging this value, and you are giving a part of yourself... letting your value flow forth.

Ever noticed how good music can get you into the moment? Listen to others like you listen to the music. You are merely enjoying the Inherent value that the music is holding in itself. You can start to sing along... Acknowledging the songs value without judging it, as well as giving a part of yourself. I have seen dismal rooms TRANSFORMED when one person comes in just singing a tune. Eventually everybody is doing it... allowing the value to flow throughout the room.

This is the same thing that happens in conversations where somebody is competely in the moment. Their value flows forth, affecting everybody. I have been this person, I have been affected by this person. You know the one I'm talking about.

You too can be this person. There are several ways to get yourself to this state, where you're not thinking or judging, just letting the value flow throughout the interaction.

The first way to do this is to listen for the inherent value coming from others. Don't try to listen to their words (hear their words all the same) just try to listen to their value. Passion is the biggest indicator of core value, the easiest to spot. Listen to the passion behind someones words, and you will soon be moved into this state. The Inherent value is always there, passion just brings it to the surface.

The next thing to do is to VOICE YOUR THOUGHTS. Thoughts are poison to the flow of value. Having long trains of thought will disrupt the flow of value. Instead of continuing to have the thoughts voice your thoughts stop thinking. By vocing your thoughts directly after you have them, you are effectively stopping the thought train in its track. Your inherent value is being voiced.

Another imporant aspect is to feel your value. I don't know if other people have this, but I actually physically feel this as a WARMTH throughout my body, a stillness in my mind, a fluidity to my movements. Value should flow from you when you are sitting, just sitting. You will get stares, people will feel the value flowing to them.

Senses, use them. Hear, smell, taste, feel, see. Don't judge. Hear, and be in wonder of the sounds. Smell, and let the joy of the smell spread through you. Taste, let your body be overcome by the sentation. Feel, and let all your warmth be amplified, the touch of a female when you are communicating like this is electric. Value flows from and to you and all becomes amplified. See. See the value. Not physical but tangible still. Value flows.

Feel the flow of value with all your senses.
See the inherent value in all people.
Be the value, until it is YOU who is flowing throughout.
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#1
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8738

Yeah this is exactly how I do things as well. Good stuff.


Tyler
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#2

Fullcrum

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Join Date: 04/22/2007 | Posts: 326

Beautifully written.

A nice way to connect "In the Now" concepts with "Value", something people are often confused about.
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#3
tongue

tongue

Member

Join Date: 02/08/2007 | Posts: 72

This post actually brought me back to the now.
Im really in awe of the massive value being "flowed" thru this forum.
This is definitively one of those posts. Nice one.
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#4
Change

Change

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Join Date: 06/11/2007 | Posts: 679

This was worded just right. It gave me an 'a-ha' moment. Thanks.
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#5

Jaffar

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/04/2007 | Posts: 778

Hello,

"Don't try to listen to their words (hear their words all the same) just try to listen to their value."

It works when Value is negative as well.

This reminds me of something a friend of mine does. He's a unique fellow, his particular job requires him to be up on his feet, everyday, essentially improvving, essentially in battle. You get into a room with him, you don't want to try to AMOG him, because he'll take you down, and it'll be funny. He's quite creative when it comes to comebacks.

He has another characteristic, one that is confusing until you get used it it, that I've begun to think is linked to his humour. HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO A WORD ANYONE SAYS. Really. He hears them, sure, but when you first get to know him you might get annoyed that he really hasn't responded to a thing you said. You'll think "that's not related to what I said" for a few seconds before you realize what he IS responding to. Because of what he does, he has to be very JUDGMENTAL about people's MOTIVATIONS. He reacts directly to his OWN judgments about people's motivations, but almost never to their words.

He doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the words. So he's really only listening to his own judgments. Because he's pretty good with those judgments, he can interact without bothering people because he rarely listens. In a way, I guess, he listens closer than anyone.

For a short example, if a person we meet tries to be domineering or give orders, he wouldn't say "fuck off" or "no way" or "get lost" or "what's your problem...", but react to his judgment about that person's motivations or perspective, for instance if he felt the person perceived himself as being in control he might use the comeback...

"Well if you had that much control, why couldn't you stop your prison mates from [insert tragic incident here]."

He wouldn't even respond or refer to the directions. This is a bit obvious, but I think it demonstrates what I mean. It's like saying "don't worry dude, you're really funny" in this case reacting to a negative judgment about their motivations for speaking to shut them down.

Apart from not LISTENING to people's actual words, at this point I don't think my friend can even HEAR the words, or at least not without a huge dose of motivation mixed in.

It occurred to me that my friend's humour and his mindset were linked. Reacting not to words but to motivatoins/perspectives/underlying things gives you an insight that can really inspire, but can also cut deep. I guess it's because people are not really in touch with their motivations. What can you say if people are being brutally honest with their motivations? Such as Shock and Awe?

I think I read something like this in a post about AMOGGING way back, something about pointing out the gap between who someone projects and who he really is, didn't get it until I understood my friend.

I guess my main points here are:

1.) If one pays attention to what underlies a situation, one's response is far more provoking, in good or bad ways, so

2.) Those of us starting out should spend some time trying to develop a simultaneous perception of people's motivations along with their actual words. (I think we can't help this, to a greater or lesser extent).

Comments?

Jaffar
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#6
Jack Diesel

Jack Diesel

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 1087

Much props, absolutely dude.

I still need to work on voicing my thoughts AS they happen. Where is that link to the article, where the reporter visited that guy who always speaks his mind no matter how much trouble he gets in?

Well, this is something I definitely need to get better at. My filter is wayyyy too strong... gotta let the self come thru!!

Props halfful

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#7
Change

Change

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/11/2007 | Posts: 679

Jaffar Wrote:
Hello,

"Don't try to listen to their words (hear their words all the same) just try to listen to their value."

It works when Value is negative as well.

This reminds me of something a friend of mine does. He's a unique fellow, his particular job requires him to be up on his feet, everyday, essentially improvving, essentially in battle. You get into a room with him, you don't want to try to AMOG him, because he'll take you down, and it'll be funny. He's quite creative when it comes to comebacks.

He has another characteristic, one that is confusing until you get used it it, that I've begun to think is linked to his humour. HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO A WORD ANYONE SAYS. Really. He hears them, sure, but when you first get to know him you might get annoyed that he really hasn't responded to a thing you said. You'll think "that's not related to what I said" for a few seconds before you realize what he IS responding to. Because of what he does, he has to be very JUDGMENTAL about people's MOTIVATIONS. He reacts directly to his OWN judgments about people's motivations, but almost never to their words.

He doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the words. So he's really only listening to his own judgments. Because he's pretty good with those judgments, he can interact without bothering people because he rarely listens. In a way, I guess, he listens closer than anyone.

For a short example, if a person we meet tries to be domineering or give orders, he wouldn't say "fuck off" or "no way" or "get lost" or "what's your problem...", but react to his judgment about that person's motivations or perspective, for instance if he felt the person perceived himself as being in control he might use the comeback...

"Well if you had that much control, why couldn't you stop your prison mates from [insert tragic incident here]."

He wouldn't even respond or refer to the directions. This is a bit obvious, but I think it demonstrates what I mean. It's like saying "don't worry dude, you're really funny" in this case reacting to a negative judgment about their motivations for speaking to shut them down.

Apart from not LISTENING to people's actual words, at this point I don't think my friend can even HEAR the words, or at least not without a huge dose of motivation mixed in.

It occurred to me that my friend's humour and his mindset were linked. Reacting not to words but to motivatoins/perspectives/underlying things gives you an insight that can really inspire, but can also cut deep. I guess it's because people are not really in touch with their motivations. What can you say if people are being brutally honest with their motivations? Such as Shock and Awe?

I think I read something like this in a post about AMOGGING way back, something about pointing out the gap between who someone projects and who he really is, didn't get it until I understood my friend.

I guess my main points here are:

1.) If one pays attention to what underlies a situation, one's response is far more provoking, in good or bad ways, so

2.) Those of us starting out should spend some time trying to develop a simultaneous perception of people's motivations along with their actual words. (I think we can't help this, to a greater or lesser extent).

Comments?

Jaffar


I really like this. It would be interesting to find out how your mate got to be that way. Has he always been like that - did he have a mentor on the job to teach him, did he just develop it? Could he put it into words?
__________________
Be a man of value and success will follow. - Albert Einstein
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn - Alexander~
Strength finds strength. Weakness finds weakness. There's only one thing that you can do to sort this out. Become strong. - Ciaran
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#8
Halffull

Halffull

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

Jaffar Wrote:
Hello,

"Don't try to listen to their words (hear their words all the same) just try to listen to their value."

It works when Value is negative as well.

This reminds me of something a friend of mine does. He's a unique fellow, his particular job requires him to be up on his feet, everyday, essentially improvving, essentially in battle. You get into a room with him, you don't want to try to AMOG him, because he'll take you down, and it'll be funny. He's quite creative when it comes to comebacks.

He has another characteristic, one that is confusing until you get used it it, that I've begun to think is linked to his humour. HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO A WORD ANYONE SAYS. Really. He hears them, sure, but when you first get to know him you might get annoyed that he really hasn't responded to a thing you said. You'll think "that's not related to what I said" for a few seconds before you realize what he IS responding to. Because of what he does, he has to be very JUDGMENTAL about people's MOTIVATIONS. He reacts directly to his OWN judgments about people's motivations, but almost never to their words.

He doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the words. So he's really only listening to his own judgments. Because he's pretty good with those judgments, he can interact without bothering people because he rarely listens. In a way, I guess, he listens closer than anyone.

For a short example, if a person we meet tries to be domineering or give orders, he wouldn't say "fuck off" or "no way" or "get lost" or "what's your problem...", but react to his judgment about that person's motivations or perspective, for instance if he felt the person perceived himself as being in control he might use the comeback...

"Well if you had that much control, why couldn't you stop your prison mates from [insert tragic incident here]."

He wouldn't even respond or refer to the directions. This is a bit obvious, but I think it demonstrates what I mean. It's like saying "don't worry dude, you're really funny" in this case reacting to a negative judgment about their motivations for speaking to shut them down.

Apart from not LISTENING to people's actual words, at this point I don't think my friend can even HEAR the words, or at least not without a huge dose of motivation mixed in.

It occurred to me that my friend's humour and his mindset were linked. Reacting not to words but to motivatoins/perspectives/underlying things gives you an insight that can really inspire, but can also cut deep. I guess it's because people are not really in touch with their motivations. What can you say if people are being brutally honest with their motivations? Such as Shock and Awe?

I think I read something like this in a post about AMOGGING way back, something about pointing out the gap between who someone projects and who he really is, didn't get it until I understood my friend.

I guess my main points here are:

1.) If one pays attention to what underlies a situation, one's response is far more provoking, in good or bad ways, so

2.) Those of us starting out should spend some time trying to develop a simultaneous perception of people's motivations along with their actual words. (I think we can't help this, to a greater or lesser extent).

Comments?

Jaffar


Very interesting. Would love to see your friend work for a day.
Yah, your friend is doing something similar to what's mentioned here... a bit different tho.. The confusion stems from confusing content of words with the emotion behind them. There's no such thing as "Negative inherent Value".

When you are communicating in the moment, and someone gets angry. You know that they are angry... but this is not a good or a bad thing, it just is, and the emotion has nothing to do with their inherent value. You're not even responding to their emotion... you're responding to their inherent value.

You can defuse unproductive emotions VERY quickly in the moment. When people see they are being valued, and not judged... unproductive emotions seem to just disappear.

Your friend is judging their intent as good or bad, which is something that does not happen when you are in the moment.

I definitely think there is a lot of merit to what he does tho. I can imagine people just being in AWE of this dude. Like a psychic who goes around reading people's minds willy nilly. Would probably be incredible to watch.
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#9

Jaffar

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/04/2007 | Posts: 778

Change,

He's refined it over the years, adapated it to his environment, but I believe the attitude came from him. Some of it may have come a bit from a mix of cultures he lived around, one of which was very sensitive to social niceties and the other one which encourages people to be extremely direct with people.

Jaffar.
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Warning:  This is f@#$ing Sparta.  Don't die a coward. RSD - Inner Circle:  TORONTO Chapter  - An RSD Social Club for Toronto and Area locals.  Social events, self-development, city to city outings, general mayhem.  Check us out at...  www.rsdnation.com/toronto. Some recent RSDTIC events:  www.rsdnation.com/node/190215/forum
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#10
Halffull

Halffull

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

Bump.
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