THE FORUMS

Ever feel really shitty and just can't open a set? You seem to be doing everything you do every other night but things just can't seem to hook. You have days where every set sucks and you have approach anxiety and other days you just seem to hook every single set.

This is about being instate. Instate is when you just feel good and you feel like you can take on the world. I've been watching guys who sell things on the streets get ready for a day of rejection and I've been trying to pump my wings state up.

Basically, I've noticed, is that if you can see other guys doing it you think you can do it as well. Especially if he breaks it down for you earlier. Somewhat like seminar and boot camps. You are feeding off everyone else’s energy. You feel on top of the world and do not care about rejection. You have already been validated by the group.

Being instate is a catch-22. To be instate I need success but in order to have success I need to be instate. Do little things to get instate like open with high fives. Don't stick in early sets. Just get your validation. Get that all out of the way. Tell yourself you are going to start at one end of the bar and open all the way till you get to the other end. You won't put emphasis on each set. You'll just be bouncing from set to set getting your validation. And you can do either of two things from here: start plowing in the later sets and/or start reopening the earlier sets now that you are instate.

Go with guys who are not as good as you are. Show them the ropes. By being alpha you automatically put yourself instate.

Do not have others correct you infield. You never want to be put into a beta position. Don't compete with other PUAS on targets. WORK TOGETHER. Although, competing can be fun at times - it will automatically beta one wing – so DON’T do it.

Whenever you see your wings have a smile on your face. High Five them.

High five people that walk by - FAKE ENERGY if you must. You fake the energy and the target gives back real energy - you will feed off of her energy and now you have some real energy. This is a great way to pump your own buying temperature.

I see guys in sales do things like jump up and down and shout together – sing and chant. Then they'll high five 50 people before they even start opening. Why? Because then they realize the rejection doesn't matter - they have already been validated by the group.

RSD used to do it back in the day as well. They had people run around in the living room and slap each other high fives. They'd do goofy things to get them emotional and happy. Get them not to care what other people think (telling a group of guys how to dance and making them dance together)

Whenever you get a group of your mates together scream something – high five. Cheers with your drinks. Be loud. I notice when I go around with my buddies and when we see each other we’ll scream “THE CLAWWW” and do this weird hand shake together. I notice that the guys that scream together are instate but those that are afraid of what other people are thinking are not instate. FAKE IT. You will feed off the real energy - the responses from the other people.

After a really hard rejection are you out of state? You probably invested a lot and it didn't go your way. Reopen the next set right away whatever is next to you; do not search. Use some fake energy to gain some of theirs. If I see wings get blown out of set. I don't correct him. I give him some energy. “That was so awesome what you did there and how you twirled her, locked in, and slapped her ass like that.” Just give him the positive compliments (be sincere). When you go into your wings set - DHV him.

Make your wing feel alpha.

I notice when I went to the gym today I was doing the bench press. And when some guy was watching me in awe (or he could have been gay) I was lifting more than I ever did in my life.

Then later I was lifting and I had a ton of weights on there and some guy came over thought I was in trouble and helped me out. Honestly, I didn't need his help. But I immediately felt beta'd. I went to the next piece of equipment and my exhaustion started to kick in. I felt tired and I couldn't lift with all my energy.

I look at A-Rod from the New York Yankees. When everyone said he sucked he did horrible. He felt he couldn't live up to the expectations but he is really a great ball player. Now that his psych is back look him this season. He was the same player he was last year just instate. In many sports players go into slumps and it’s usually for a while. Then next time they’ll be in the zone and they’ll do everything right. They are the same player. Nothing has really changed except their confidence level.

Look at a comedian or a rock band; they do very well when the crowd gets going. They feed off their energy.

There are studies where the instructor gives two groups of students a test – everything is similar except one group is told that they are not smart and another that they are very smart. Who does better? Some would guess the ones who were told they are not smart because they would try to prove the instructor wrong. This is incorrect. The group who was told they were smart did much better. It was all being instate.

I was totally out of state the other day. And so were all my buddies. The venue we went to had beds. So I gathered my friends and we started jumping on the bed. It got everyone instate. We owned the place. We felt we were on top of the world.

So get instate. Temporary fixes - getting new clothes, getting a haircut, drinking, redbull... etc. But learn to get instate more times than you do now. Fake the energy. Go for little victories (high fives). Open easy sets. Do not be outcome dependent - have another goal other than getting this set's #, k, full (rejections have less of an effect. And oddly enough you'll close more sets by not being needy). Guys who get laid do better in field because they understand they can do it and they have that confidence. That’s why you’ll see guys who have no girls at one point but then at another have a dozen all at one time.

I do phenomenally well when I have a bunch of guys watching me because I feel alpha and I have an ulterior motive. I'll open and close a girlfriend while she’s with her boyfriend and mixed 15 sets. Try to get in the alpha state, have an ulterior motive, and minimize being beta.

My buddy got a recorder and started recording himself in set. He accidentally hit the wrong button and didn't turn it on. But he did extremely well in the set. This is because he had an ulterior motive other than getting their validation he was just trying to make the sarge good for his recording. This is similar to guys watching me infield. I have an ulterior motive.

So go out there and get instate. Some guys go out and open warm-up sets. Saying “they don't count.” By telling yourself this and believing they don't count as warm up sets you won't take the rejection to heart.

It's tough to get yourself instate when you have massive AA. So do little things like tell yourself this next set I'm going to give them an awesome high energy high 5. Then do it several more times. Feed off their energy.

Use your fake energy to get real energy from them; and in return, you will gain real energy and it’ll help put you in state.