THE FORUMS
We had a mind blowing first date, and first week, but we moved into relationship mode way too fast. I really had my head up my ass. She used to be engaged before we got together, and her ex brought himself back into her life and created a stressful situation. She became obviously unhappy, and I was thus unhappy, and decided to peform the coup de grace because I knew that it was coming regardless of who initiated the breakup.
__________________
It's basically the same suggestion as bees and mayhem; I've always found getting some new girls to occupy your time is a good way to go. Even if you don't fuck them, get some fun day2's, take them down to the playground, and it'll take a whole lot of pressure off your mind since you will have distractions from any post-breakup downer anchors.
I still look back on all of my ex LTR's and remember all the positive things about them, kinda missing the relationship, but, at the same time, not wanting it back.
I still look back on all of my ex LTR's and remember all the positive things about them, kinda missing the relationship, but, at the same time, not wanting it back.
__________________
Wellington, NZ - Come LORD over the clubs with us.
By getting validation from other women.
+
Time.
+
Time.
__________________
Previously dharsant ;)
You can't be rejected unless you're trying to be accepted
You can't be rejected unless you're trying to be accepted
Perseverance Wrote:
I'm going to sound like a total chode here, but it's okay, because I hear that admitting it is the first step towards recovery.
Here's my problem: Two weeks ago I ended a relationship, and now I feel like complete dog shit. I see this girl almost every day because we have mutual friends, and I'm completely hung up on her. The day after I ended it, I felt great, like I would have an opportunity to go out and meet all kinds of women. But now, I feel jealous and insecure, and like I made a huge mistake. Now, I'll cut my hand off before I'll admit this to her and give her the power to manipulate me, but I just don't know how to get through this and let her go.
It's an inner game issue I'm sure, and I'm feeling a lot like the guy who posted the depression thread. Why is it that women have this powerful ability to blast a hole in your boundary?
You can choose to ...
a) think about her, and remember all the good times, go through that sense of loss, and HOLD onto that pain
Or
b) cut all, traces, memories, photo's of her and truely forget about her and move on.
Avoid going to where she goes out, avoid mixing with her friends.
Make it your mission NOT to think about her...or be reminded of her, at least in the short term!
Even writing & reading this post is reminding you of her, a link to your pain.
__________________
Stonefish
Rejection is better than Regret, Failure is a necessary component of growth! Failure points out where you NEED to improve.
If you WAIT on the first girl, you will be worse off when you meet that second girl. FAIL NOW
Rejection is better than Regret, Failure is a necessary component of growth! Failure points out where you NEED to improve.
If you WAIT on the first girl, you will be worse off when you meet that second girl. FAIL NOW
Stonefish Wrote:
Even writing & reading this post is reminding you of her, a link to your pain.
Damn, that is so true. I do feel better knowing that other guys here have expressed opinions that are congruent with my intuition. Erase her name from my phone, don't think about her, avoid situations where I might reopen the wounds. You guys are awesome. I didn't consider seeking out the comfort of other women to get my mind back on track with my goals. I really need to work on my AA, which can be a good excercise to get over her.
__________________
Have the last word
When she tells you that its over don't just walk away. Outframe and ask her for reasons. Tell her about your feelings. Sometimes got good feedback from chicks this way and I felt better.
Take a long walk. Replay all the situations where you did something wrong. Think about what you could have said or done instead. Replay the improved dialogues in your head. It will help you next time.
And write her a long letter (or field report) where you can get it all out of your head. All your feelings, all your mistakes, what you want to do better next time.
Go out sarging immediately. Even if its just social game. Worst thing is to stay at home alone.
When she tells you that its over don't just walk away. Outframe and ask her for reasons. Tell her about your feelings. Sometimes got good feedback from chicks this way and I felt better.
Take a long walk. Replay all the situations where you did something wrong. Think about what you could have said or done instead. Replay the improved dialogues in your head. It will help you next time.
And write her a long letter (or field report) where you can get it all out of your head. All your feelings, all your mistakes, what you want to do better next time.
Go out sarging immediately. Even if its just social game. Worst thing is to stay at home alone.
__________________
“Newbies, above text is gold. I'm writing it for you instead of sleeping so *pay* *fuckin* *attention*. Re-read, apply and get that girl!”
Please tell me any ideas how I can improve my game. Every detail helps. Before sleeping, think about it. Tell me tomorrow.
Please tell me any ideas how I can improve my game. Every detail helps. Before sleeping, think about it. Tell me tomorrow.
Have a listen to Dillinger Escape Plan's 'Sunshine The Werewolf'... helps vent a little bit :D
Write a letter???? Nahhhh!!!
Listen bro, I am going through the SAME EXACT SITUATION right now. I know exactly how you feel except that I don't see the girl because she lives kinda far from me. I refuse to just let shit slip away and forget about her forever cuz I do have feelings for her and I know that I can get her back.
As far as breakups--they're very difficult, but my advice: Stay insanely busy, always have somewhere important that you have to be--don't be alone, surround yourself with more distractions (people, tasks) then you know what to do with. Don't leave yourself self-reflection time unless it's on route to an exciting destination.
And...by all means...remove yourself from the proximity of whomever broke it off with you as soon as possible, and this might mean to stop talking about the breakup with people; it keeps it alive.
Don't try to figure it out just move on with your life; make a bee line to whatever it is that you want to do. Keep social, your keep your world big and will probably bring a flood a new people in your life. If that doesn't suffice, take a trip with a friend or two--keep your world HUGE, and sometimes that means traveling a lot and meeting more people than you ever have your whole life.
But regardless, if you have feelings for this girl and want her back in your life you must not give up on her. Convey to her that your life at the moment is PACKED with fun and good times. Let your actions show that you are at a stress free point in your life and that you are feeling amazing. Then just game her up. Do what you did to get her in the first place and keep things totally playful. Don't get serious and talk about the breakup, just CREATE, CREATE, CREATE! She will see that you are a mentally strong person and that you are unlike anyone she will ever meet.
Also game up other girls. Do your thing and keep your attitude positive. I am in the same situation and it really is a great learning experience but at the same time it can really suck. Learn from it and use what you learned to move on to better things with or without her.
If u feel like talking some more shoot me a PM.
Stay Up...
Listen bro, I am going through the SAME EXACT SITUATION right now. I know exactly how you feel except that I don't see the girl because she lives kinda far from me. I refuse to just let shit slip away and forget about her forever cuz I do have feelings for her and I know that I can get her back.
As far as breakups--they're very difficult, but my advice: Stay insanely busy, always have somewhere important that you have to be--don't be alone, surround yourself with more distractions (people, tasks) then you know what to do with. Don't leave yourself self-reflection time unless it's on route to an exciting destination.
And...by all means...remove yourself from the proximity of whomever broke it off with you as soon as possible, and this might mean to stop talking about the breakup with people; it keeps it alive.
Don't try to figure it out just move on with your life; make a bee line to whatever it is that you want to do. Keep social, your keep your world big and will probably bring a flood a new people in your life. If that doesn't suffice, take a trip with a friend or two--keep your world HUGE, and sometimes that means traveling a lot and meeting more people than you ever have your whole life.
But regardless, if you have feelings for this girl and want her back in your life you must not give up on her. Convey to her that your life at the moment is PACKED with fun and good times. Let your actions show that you are at a stress free point in your life and that you are feeling amazing. Then just game her up. Do what you did to get her in the first place and keep things totally playful. Don't get serious and talk about the breakup, just CREATE, CREATE, CREATE! She will see that you are a mentally strong person and that you are unlike anyone she will ever meet.
Also game up other girls. Do your thing and keep your attitude positive. I am in the same situation and it really is a great learning experience but at the same time it can really suck. Learn from it and use what you learned to move on to better things with or without her.
If u feel like talking some more shoot me a PM.
Stay Up...
__________________
Take that which works for you
Discard that which does not
Create something truly your own
Discard that which does not
Create something truly your own
Yeah. Go fvck other hot bishes. It worked for me.
Zero.
Zero.
__________________
Jlaix: To get good you have to approach! And the first few thousand don't count.
80% of success is showing up! - Woody Allen
80% of success is showing up! - Woody Allen
Realise that you're making yourself feel the way you're feeling.
Tom!
Trusted Member
Join Date: 05/21/2007 | Posts: 2771
Here's my problem: Two weeks ago I ended a relationship, and now I feel like complete dog shit. I see this girl almost every day because we have mutual friends, and I'm completely hung up on her. The day after I ended it, I felt great, like I would have an opportunity to go out and meet all kinds of women. But now, I feel jealous and insecure, and like I made a huge mistake. Now, I'll cut my hand off before I'll admit this to her and give her the power to manipulate me, but I just don't know how to get through this and let her go.
It's an inner game issue I'm sure, and I'm feeling a lot like the guy who posted the depression thread. Why is it that women have this powerful ability to blast a hole in your boundary?